Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/duerisk9 on 2023-12-28 13:54:42+00:00.

My grandfather immigrated to America 40 years ago with nothing. He worked hard and bought 5 lots of land as a hopeful investment.

He has 2 grandsons (me and my brother) and 1 granddaughter (my cousin). There is a 15 year difference between me and my cousin. About 10 years ago, before my cousin was born, as a Christmas gift he gifted me and my brother a(1) lot of land.

When my cousin was born a few years after he gave her a lot all to herself which honestly made us boys feel a bit crappy but some was better than none so we eventually got over it.

In late November my grandfather got a heart attack and needed open heart surgery. He made it through good and is at home recovering now. He's been retired for about 7 years.

This last Christmas he told(not asked) me and my brother that he arranged a sale for our lot of land and that he'd get us the contract which would see the money come in 3 checks. Confused, we both said that we didn't need the money right now and would prefer the investment he said he needed money now that he can't work and that he would give us half of the sale, a quarter each to keep.

This caught me off guard because 1. the lot was gifted to me and my brother and 2. My grandfather hasn't worked in nearly a decade and lives off his ssi. My brother who wanted a car for long time signed the contract without giving it much thought.

My grandfather has been bugging me and calling me nearly every 2 hours since Christmas asking me if I signed contract. At first I told him I wanted to read over the contract fully and maybe even shop around the land for the best sale (I was just pushing the subject away). He got in a mini argument with me this morning saying he needs money now and that I'm being selfish.

I honestly don't know if I'm being selfish or TA here or him. If he needed money I believe he has 3 lots to his own name and 1 on cousins name. I know he didn't pay a dime for medical expenses with his Medicaid. He doesn't have any additional costs since the surgery and even the opposite now since he has a nurse through medicaid come to his house weekly and gets meals from a provider delivered to him.

Those are the facts if you want to comment now before being influenced with my theory

My cousin's mom, my aunt, is divorced and lives with him. She already pretty much claimed everything he has as hers and I think the heart attack was her wake up call to try to squeeze what more she can from him, including using him to squeeze us.

On the other hand I didn't pay a single penny towards buying that lot of land and the land taxes every year drain mine and my brothers limited savings. I know I'm being impacted by rage and jealously towards the whole situation but I like to think I'm also logical and I just don't know who's TA here

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/stinkysuggar on 2023-12-28 13:51:31+00:00.

My fiancé lives in a house share with 2 close friends of ours. One of them is leaving the house share and because they are afraid to be evicted (we live in FR, if this info is of any use), they collectively decided to illegally sublet the vacant room.

Being a lawyer, this situation leaves me perplexed. I explained to them the sanctions they face but still want to go ahead. Of course I don’t live with them so they are free to do as they please. But we will get married in few weeks (without prenup) so if my fiancé get any sanctions, I’ll have to pay with him or at least I’ll be impacted by them too.

They found a new housemate who accepted the sublet, although I don’t know if the new housemate is aware of the illegal situation. But as I am already uncomfortable with the whole situation, I am not cheering with them and to be completely honest, I am also somehow reluctant to meet the new housemate.

I told them that I am highly uncomfortable and I don’t want to be around them when they talk about this and therefore I leave the room when they do so etc. My fiancé is saying I am the AH for not supporting his choice. So Reddit, AITA ?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Doesitmatter200592 on 2023-12-28 13:46:07+00:00.

More details in other posts but to keep it short I got unfairly dismissed for slamming door after finding out an employee had been hospitalized previously for stress and had walked out after being antagonized and insulted by the director. I had no previous complaints and was pulled in meeting no warning or opportunity for representation and told to take a pay cut taking me down minimum wage or leave, with reason cited being intimidation and one of them going as far say that I could killed someone by slamming the door.

I have friend who knew through company whose sister is dating director and has known him longer then I have known her. However we have hit things off and helped her with a few concerts past few months and she wants me to work with her on stuff next year. Two complications the first being obvious, made worse as I did not want hurt her i refused to talk about what happened instead saying I tell her later. The second being feelings I have for her, I honest enjoy being around her when I can and I am better person who I actually like as result of her and love working with her in general.

Yet I feel disguised in myself for this both as result of the guilt of potentially putting her bad situation because my issues with the director and wanting to tell her what happened

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Secure-Seat-409 on 2023-12-28 13:31:16+00:00.

Ok so my grandparents are pieces of shit and so is my mothers siblings. They tend to take advantage of her kindness and think nothing of her. The problem is my mother never really confronts them about it then when she cant take it anymore she becomes angry with us "me,my dad and my sister" its actually a habit of hers she can't stand up for herself when people mistreat her but then takes her anger out on us which i fucking hate. A hour ago she complained about how my grandmother was treating her like a pos and then when we told her to talk to her she got angry at us so i called her a coward for not confronting the people and talking her anger out on us.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/warriorfw on 2023-12-28 13:29:37+00:00.

Hi, me (22 f) and my boyfriend of 4 years Jay (24 m) recently had a baby, he is now 5 weeks old very sweet!

When we announced the pregnancy everyone was happy for us, expect my mother in law. When we told her she cried and she said she wasn’t ready to be grandma yet.

My pregnancy wasn’t the greatest, he was 3 weeks early. The day after delivery my dad and his gf visited at the hospital. My dad held him for like 5 min after asking and when they were about to leave my mother in law came rushing through the door. She ran toward my bf who was holding our son, she basically ripped him from his arms and took off. All 4 of us where in shock as we couldn’t believe what just happened. Since we didn’t want to make a scene we let her hold him until we decided it was time to leave because we were all exhausted. She left. Still in shock I told my bf to please have a talk with her in a few days to tell her how inappropriate that was and to please ask when she wants to hold the baby. He did.

A few days later we were finally able to go home. My parents in law visited us shortly after. Our son was asleep. When he woke up and started crying my bf went to the bedroom. His mum rushed after him and tried to grab him again to which my bf said that he was going to change the diaper and she cant have him rn. A few minutes later she left our apartment crying. My bf tried texting and calling but she didn’t answer. About two weeks later she texted him saying she missed my bf like nothing happened.

On Christmas we were invited to her house for breakfast. We had a great time (or so I thought) until his mum disappeared. My bf said she left the house crying again. I honestly had no clue why… the baby was asleep the whole time and when he had a tummy ache I was holding him for 5 min until he fell back asleep. After an hour of her being gone we decided to leave. We said good bye to my father in law and my bf said “if she is ready to talk it out she knows my number” to which he replied “she isn’t going to call” my bf asked him what he meant by that and he just answered we know what we did and we should think about our behavior. I intervened and asked him what the problem was and what we did wrong and he just screamed in my face how horrible we are treating them and that we are withholding their grandson from them and that he specifically is not allowed near the baby, he a also called me a horrible mother and person for standing in between my bf family and our little family, which I never did. I told him that I was not going to let him scream at me like this so we left.

After this me and my bf had a talk. I told him I was over this and I’m not having toxic people like them in my child’s life to which he completely agreed.

My parents however think that I’m being cruel.

So Reddit AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Funny-Picture8287 on 2023-12-28 13:21:43+00:00.

Burner account since some family members use Reddit.

I (18M) have been depressed for a while now, and viewed myself and holding other people back. I had a plan when I was 17 that I would basically kinda “let loose” for 2-3 months and then leave home without notice. I had a plan to go to certain hotels and go to Alaska by plane to get some work or at least significant geographic distance from my family. I’ve been overweight for a long time and have struggled with being selfish in how I treat others which had been a primary factor in my whole plan to just kinda disappear. I’d lied to my family that the money I’d set aside for the tickets and stuff was for college so they wouldn’t question it. The issue is without realizing it I overspent, and some additional expenses came up after I’d initially overspent that have left me with less than $100 in my account, not nearly enough to do what I planned.

The job I had been working fell through and I’ve been unable to get another one. My family is currently still fine with me living with them (this happened about a month ago), but I’m not paying rent and they’re now moving to a new house across the country that I do know for a fact has a higher rent than the last one. If I wasn’t with them they would’ve been able to get a smaller house for far less rent (I do have one younger sibling so it would probably be a 2 bedroom) and even now while I am with them I can’t help pay for anything despite me being with them, which even based on what I had told wasn’t the plan as I was supposed to move out for college. I can tell my dad is upset about it, and I feel really responsible for putting more financial burdens on them than I intended to. So, AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Sufficient-Jelly-701 on 2023-12-28 13:21:39+00:00.

I am a carpenter, been always proud of that. In Middle Europe we have specific black heavy duty pants that I wear a lot, because I fell very comfortable in them even though I am not active anymore since a couple of years and work in a office. My former partners have expressed concerns about it so I cut back. My current GF is staying for a month; we are long distance. She also expressed concern and was unhappy. Ok, I cut back on wearing them, even though I enjoy wearing them during the cold days. Today I was going out for an appointment to look at a roof that I help out with for a non-profit. The people I do it for don't care and if they where I wouldn't; this is a Freeby for them. My GF wasn't coming but she had objections as soon as I put them on and we got in a heated argument. Maybe it's because she is from a society where clothing and social status are very important and here nobody cares much, at least they don't say it and I only receive positive feedback. I don't know; AITA for thinking she is making to much of a deal out of it?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/glady067 on 2023-12-28 13:15:05+00:00.

I’m 63 year old single mother of 3. Wondering why there’s such a disconnect with my son and future DIL. My oldest son (30) has been with his now fiancée for 7 years. They met in the city I currently live in, and moved out of state 3 years ago. Her father lives in the same city as me so when they do visit time is usually split. When they first met she was over all the time, everyday in fact. She would spend holidays with us, spend the night all the time. My son lived with me until he was 23. The only negative experience that ever happened was between my youngest daughter (at the time 16) along with my son and his fiancée. There was a big fallout for over a year. They all reconciled, and they began coming around again. Once they decided to move out of state I never see them. They’re not even married yet and every holiday is spent with her family. When they come to town my son and her will visit, but she leaves to spend the night at her dads while my son spends the night at my house alone. I get them wanting to spend time with family separately, but in the last 3 years she hasn’t spent more than 2 hours visiting us, and she won’t spend the night even when I’ve insisted she’s welcome. This kinda leaves my son sad upon visiting, and then surely leaves my house to go to her dads.

Both my adult children still live with me. My son (26) has severe ADHD, and my daughter (21) and grandson (2) also live with me. Yes, I have a full house, but they’ve always had their own bedroom upon visiting. It does cross my mind that maybe she judges how me and my family live, and how we do things, but she’s still with my son. Me or none of my kids are married, or have a college degree, but they’ll be the first married in our family, and she basically has the better career. I’m bringing up these things because they are the main differences I can deeply think of. Her and I don’t have much in common other than my son, they don’t have kids, but plan to. She’s polite and I don’t have an issue with her, but she is showing signs of wanting nothing to do with us. I have asked my son if she’s mad at us, or what’s going on, and it’s always an excuse. “She’s not feeling well” “she’s studying” “she’s busy” every time. I told him I sensed BS and how its a shame whatever she has against us, is affecting his relationship with everyone else. I told him to strongly consider if he wants to marry her and bring kids into this situation. He’s been upset with me since. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/CallMeMarieee on 2023-12-28 12:59:38+00:00.

My partner (24M) and I (25F) are in a long distance relationship, and we recently met for the first time. We spent a few days at my sister's.

The people who live there are my sister (27F), her gf-Amy, and their roommate-Sam. The first day, my sister was a little pushy, but we all hung out and it was fun. Then my sister said she wanted to turn in and snuggle with Amy. That was fine and I wouldn't have had another thought about it. We talked for a while with Sam and then made our way to our room too.

The next day we all hung out more and went on a long drive. The drive was to see some Christmas lights, but my sister kept driving other places. Her and Amy were in the 2 front seats and the other 3 of us were crammed into the small back seat. It seemed all good vibes tho.

So here is the conflict. Sam wanted to stop at a 7/11. Me, my bf, and Sam went in. When us 3 came back out, they had gone in. At this point, Sam jokes that we don't have to wait and should race them the 1 block back to their apartment. We start walking.

When Sam is unlocking the door, my sister calls and Sam explains. I asked my sister (on speaker) if she could grab something I forgot in the car. My sister says "fine, I'll grab everybody's shit since you wanted to be rude and leave," and hangs up.

We make our way upstairs and it's taking them a while. I call her and ask if we genuinely upset her. She says yes, so I apologize and told her we didn't mean to be rude and that it was meant to be lighthearted. I told her I understand her pov and was sorry.

My sister then says that I only care about boys, just wanted more time with him, and that I was paying way more attention to my bf than I was to her on the car ride. She says that I was barely responding to her-only to him. I honestly think I talked to Sam the most. I told my sister she was sitting in front and I couldn't hear her completely. She said it was happening before the drive too and didn't seem willing to talk about it.

I still apologized, but now I feel like I should confront her. She lives with Amy and it's okay for them to spend time, but my partner and I causes an issue? I don't mean the walk home ofc.

Maybe I should let it go now, but my sister never "feels neglected" when she double dates with other couples and I feel like she has some weird possessiveness over me. In 2019, I dated a guy from Australia (yeah I have a habit of dating long distance, I don't wanna hear it💀). We had a month together when he came to visit and my sister suddently got very needy then too. She kept asking for favors and while I usually don't mind, we argued a lot. I just wanted that little bit of time with my partner and I don't want more special moments to be ruined by arguments.

There are further things she's gotten weird about, but I'll leave it at that. So AITA or WIBTAH if I confront her about this? Should I just let it go?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/No-Age-7385 on 2023-12-28 12:37:06+00:00.

My wife Grace (25F) has a sister Joy (27F). I (25M) have been married to Grace for almost 4 years and the issues with Joy started a couple of years ago but I ignored it until I felt like it was messing with my head. So I decided to tell Grace about this and so the conflict has started. But to give the full picture I need to give some background.

I'm an affair baby. I was conceived the day my aunt passed away. My parents, her husband and her sister, always claimed it was a one time thing and happened in a moment of madness when they were both at their lowest point knowing their wife and sister was dying. That didn't change the fallout of what happened. The whole family found out about it. My half siblings/cousins were repulsed but even more when I came along. My maternal grandparents had a lot of mixed emotions but ultimately decided not to be in my life because my half siblings said they would lose them if they were in my life. My paternal grandparents made the same choice when posed with the same ultimatum.

Both my parents were present in my life growing up but they weren't together. My half siblings were all grown by the time I was 7 so they weren't in my life for long. But the years I was around them did a lot of psychological harm. I suffered from low self-esteem most of my life and I isolated myself as a way to not have more people hate me, and out of disgust for myself. My parents were frustrated by my actions. A few times they asked if it was my way of punishing them. They didn't understand and today we're very low contact.

Grace knows about my background and my ILs do as well, including Joy. This is why I struggle with Joy. She knows but she has this habit of bringing up how important it is to have a good birth story when I'm around but Grace and the rest of my ILs are not. She has never said anything too extreme so I always dismissed it myself as me being sensitive due to my past and never said a thing. But then a couple of months ago we were at my ILs for Joy's birthday. Joy was chatting to some family friends and neighbors of my ILs and directly asked me to share my birth story with everyone. The whole thing caught me off guard and upset me. I felt like I was being called out and so I excused myself and started to isolate like I had in the past. Grace noticed and approached me to find out what was wrong. I knew Joy had been way more direct and cruel in her actions this time so I told Grace.

Grace confronted Joy after the party ended and the two argued. Then the rest of my ILs found out. Ever since Joy has been pissed at me for snitching and telling on her like a child. She holds a very strong grudge against me for her family being unhappy with her. This makes her furious and she has claimed I handled it like a boy instead of a man. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/MotorFishTank on 2023-12-28 12:25:47+00:00.

I (18f) am currently on school break and spending Christmas with my family (parents, 2 sisters and BILs, 1 brother and 2 nieces). We the adults agreed only the kids would get gifts to decrease the financial burden. I’m a typical broke college student but also an OK baker so for this first Christmas as an adult I decided to give baked goods as present.

I made butter cookies with lemon icing. My nieces were Mia (9) and Zoe (6) each from different sister. I made two identical boxes for them. Each girl got 12 cookies each. They were shaped like things from the song 12 days of Christmas.

Everyone complimented me on how cute the cookies for the girls were. I also made a batch (plain shaped) for the family and everyone said they were good. Mia did not look pleased, however, and was quieter than usual for the rest of the morning. At lunch, Mia’s mother asked to speak to me. She said Mia felt like it was unfair that Zoe got the same amount of cookies she did when she was the older girl. Mia always thought of me as the favorite aunt and was hurt that I didn’t treat her special.

I don’t think I did anything wrong and Mia was being overly petty. I did make up with her ever since and we’re good now but I still wonder…aita?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Ill_Shelter827 on 2023-12-28 12:21:11+00:00.

This has been going on since 23rd of December but we’re still arguing about this and it’s really stressing me out and I can’t really ask my family so I’m turning to the internet.

I (27f) visited my family for the holidays with my boyfriend, “Sam”. Before Christmas Day, my brother invited Sam to a poker game he was going to with some friends, one of whom is my ex “Max” (we’re on good terms and Sam knows Max is my ex).

I told Sam not to go. My brother and his friends gamble what most people would consider a lot of money at these games, and Sam doesn’t have that kind of money. Sam said he didn’t want to say no because it was an opportunity to get to know my brother better and he was touched to have been invited. He said he would just play for a bit and then say he had had too much to drink and just hang out. I told him at least five times that this was a bad idea and why, but he was adamant he needed to accept the invitation.

He went, and ended up losing a lot of money, enough that he won’t be able to make his half of the rent this month (we live together). Most of that money, he lost to Max (Max plays A LOT of poker and took pretty much everyone’s money). Sam is obviously upset, and explained himself by saying he just got caught up in not looking like a loser, and wanting to fit in. I said that’s okay, but you need to go and ask for the money back. Sam said he couldn’t. I said he definitely could, Max will give it to him no questions asked. Sam said he wasn’t going to humiliate himself by asking my ex for money back. I said that’s fine but how are you planning to pay the rent? He said he was hoping I would cover it for this month. I said there is absolutely no way I would be paying for his irresponsible decisions, especially after I gave him every opportunity to not be in this situation. Sam said that was very cold and the money would make no difference to me but for him it’s the difference between looking like trash to my family and friends (he is sure him asking for the money back would get around).

I can’t ask my family for opinions on whether I’m the AH for saying no because I know they would go nuts if they knew he was essentially asking me for money. So I just need some people who aren’t invested to share an opinion.

Edit: to people who pointed out the rent needs to be paid - obviously if push comes to shove I will pay it, but right now if he puts me in that position I don’t really know if the relationship will be sustainable. That’s why I need a judgement on whether I’m being unreasonable

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/The_Gayma on 2023-12-28 12:20:18+00:00.

We currently live in a house that's falling apart and the landlord won't do anything about it. One of our biggest problems is black mould that's making me ill that simply won't stay away no matter I try.

We've been looking at moving out since the beginning of the year, looking at open homes, applying left, right, and centre. At least, I thought we had.

Recently I found out my housemate hadn't been filling in theirbhalves of the applications in time, so they've been sitting in limbo. They says they're never available to complete, but they're also leaving it a week until they start the application, and places don't stay up for rent for long with the current housing crisis.

My brother recently advised me he was now also looking for a place, and wanted to see if I wanted to move in with him and wanted to look together.

At this point, I'm considering it. My housemate and I split the bills and rent based on income, and I'm making 25% more per month, so I'd save on rent and utilities. And with my brothers higher income (10% higher than mine) we could probably afford a nicer place.

It would leave my housemate in a precarious position having to pay rent alone though, and they are my friend. But after a year of looking and finding out they weren't even holding up their end of the bargain in looking for a place, I don't feel like I can keep it up anymore.

So, Reddit, WIBTA for letting my housemate know I'll be looking for a place without them from now?

Note: All three of us are lower income. The differences aren't huge in pay, but the way those small differences in utilities and rent affect me are greater than someone earning a decent monthly wage.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/TomBombadil24088 on 2023-12-28 12:18:18+00:00.

Hi all,

my girlfriend (29F) and me (31M) live together since half a year. The room temperature always has been an issue for us, since she's very small and from a tropical climate country, so she gets cold very fast. I, on the other hand, get too warm quite easily and my comfort level is at lower temperatures.

We just had an argument about the bedroom. I like it to be around 18-19 °C (66 °F) and then use a very warm, good quality blanket. Otherwise I get uncomfortable. Since we moved in together and winter came she took my blanket and I used her old one (much less warm and lower quality). This works for her, but I'm too cold and want to use my own blanket again that I specifically bought for this purpose. I want her to buy another very warm one (they cost around 200 €) for herself.

She now wants me to pay for half for hers, since the room temperature is at my comfort level. I find it unfair and want both of us to pay for one warm blanket. The argument then got quite heated.

Am I the asshole here?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/No_Anybody_8997 on 2023-12-28 05:34:28+00:00.

My(27f) cousin(23f) was diagnosed with leukaemia and is not doing well. I feel terrible for her, but I was never close to her growing up. We grew up in different countries.

I’m getting married in March 2024. My aunt came over two weeks ago to discuss something. She wants me to let my cousin walk down the aisle with her dad before I walk. I don’t feel comfortable with this because, yes, it’s sad that she won’t get to experience this, but isn’t it my day to shine?

My aunt says that I’m being selfish for not doing this. She spoke to my parents about this, and they don’t seem too happy. My in-laws are not pleased too. But they still want me to decide. My fiancé doesn’t feel comfortable too.

My aunt brought my cousin to my place to discuss it last week. Cousin cried, saying she wanted to walk down the aisle and that I should let her. I told her it was my wedding day, so it was not right for her to take over. She then called me selfish and a bridezilla for not caring about her. Like I said, we were never close, so I don’t know why she’s trying to do this on my wedding day. I told her I needed more time to think, so She’s on IG posting cryptic stuff, obviously attacking me.

I talked to my friends for non-biased opinions, and they were divided. Some want me to allow her to walk down the aisle because she would never get to experience that, and I’ll be doing something nice. WIBTA if I say no?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/girlwantstoknow1029 on 2023-12-28 04:42:07+00:00.

My partner and I are getting married in February. On Christmas Day my soon to be sister in law asked if her 5 year old daughter could wear a white dress to the wedding. She told me it was in a shop front in our local shopping centre. I was so stunned I didn’t really respond either way. Afterwards I told my partner and he said he would speak to his sister. Today I saw the dress and it is basically a wedding dress, big and white tulle with a detailed floral lace body. This is after she asked us to order her daughter a flower crown so that she can have flowers to match mine. She isn’t a flower girl, we aren’t having any bridal party as part of our day.

AITA for wanting to tell her no and refusing to get her a flower crown?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Throw-Hide on 2023-12-28 02:41:09+00:00.

I (27M) have 2 siblings, (24F) and (20M). We used to belong to a family of 5, but sadly our mother passed away from cancer earlier this year. It has been tough for all of us, but has been specially hard on my younger brother who is currently in college. He failed 2 semesters in a row this year due to difficulty coping with this situation and is on the verge of being suspended.

Only 2.5 months after my mothers death, my father informed my sister and I that he had already found a new girlfriend and was in a serious relationship. My sister and I were shocked and disappointed. Finding a new partner after only 2.5 months seemed rushed and offensive.

My sister and I explained to him that while we were willing to accept him moving on to someone else, we were however not interested in being involved with this new woman in any way. It was just too soon. We also made it very clear to him that he needed to hide this situation from our brother who was struggling to pass his classes. This was his last chance and if he were to fail the semester again due to difficulty coping with the situation, he would be suspended for a year.

Our father claimed to understand our concerns and apologized for any added stress this put on us. He also claimed to fully agree about hiding the situation from my brother for now. I hoped at this point that the situation was under control. Sadly it was only about to get much worse.

Around a week before thanksgiving, my brother was flying home from school for the holidays. At his school they get around 10 days off before they have to fly back to take their final exams (school is on quarter system). My sister and I expected our dad to stay home to spend time with our brother. After all, this was the first major family holiday since our mothers passing and we assumed our dad would want to make sure our brother was ok and ready for exams. We were mistaken.

The morning after my brother arrived home, not only had our father decided to tell my brother everything about his new girlfriend, but he also just left the house to travel to a different state to spend the holidays with her. Not only did he show blatant disregard for my brothers situation but also showed no interest in spending the first major family holiday since his wife's passing with his kids.

On thanksgiving he didn't even text or call me or my siblings to ask what we were doing. My siblings and I were furious with him over this behavior and we had a huge fight. He basically tried to gaslight us, claimed that we were overreacting and that we didn't care about his life. He also acted very entitled demanding we "get on board" with his new relationship. He then casually dropped the bombshell that he planned to marry this woman next year.

Given his blatant disregard for my brothers wellbeing and overall distasteful behavior, I've decided I won't be going to his wedding and I basically don't speak with him at all beyond replying yes or no the rare times he does message me. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/LeavePrimary479 on 2023-12-28 01:49:44+00:00.

My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years and lived together for around a year and a half. I have a son (5) and have full custody.

My bf has 7 kids. He has custody of his youngest 2 (10M/8M) every two weeks. His eldest son is in his late 20s and visits every few weeks with his own kids. His second oldest son is 20 and lives full time with us, he works full-time and pays rent.

It's the middle three's (17M, 16F, 14M) visitation that causes issues.

They have rooms at our house, some visits/custody time is scheduled but most the time they'll randomly show up when they want. Sometimes this is fine, but it also causes issues.

A mundane issue is food. I never know how much to buy for the week because I could be feeding 3/5 or 6/8. Many times, I've had no snacks to give the younger boys because the teens had stopped by unannounced or been in the middle of cooking dinner when one of them shows up. Other times they plan to visit and bail last minute and I'll ending up having to waste food.

The unannounced visits also cause disruption to the younger boy’s routine. Sometimes it's just stupid stuff like the boys being kept up by their older siblings or being over excited when they show up before bedtime. The issue happens the other way round and they get disappointed when the teens flake.

I've previously brought up my dislike for the unscheduled visits to my bf but he doesn’t see the issue and blows me off.

However, we recently got into a big fight about it. All bf's kids were supposed to be at their moms for Christmas. The youngest 5 were scheduled to be with us from the 26th.

My parent, 2 sisters, BIL, and 2 nieces stayed with us from the 22nd to the morning of the 26th. This allowed for my family to have space in the house as we only had one kid. My parents are also not the biggest fan of my bf and don't like the number of kids he has so I try to schedule their visits when they aren't around.

However, on the 23rd the 17 y/o storms into our home after a fight with his stepdad and says he's spending Christmas with us. I tell him he has to sleep on the couch because my parents are in his room, and he throws a hissy fit and basically sulked for the next few days. On the 24th 14 y/o called his dad and also wanted to spend Christmas with us.

I didn't want him to because we didn't have enough food/space, and I had originally planned a seperate Christmas for bf's kids on the 26th. We argued for a while, but BF went to pick up his son anyway.

It caused issues like I knew it would. We ran out of food and there was lots of tension between my mom and 17 y/o. He kept going into his room to get stuff and wanting to play on his computer. She told him off multiple times for being rude.

This morning I was complaining to my bf about how they made Christmas so stressful for me and that he needed to get the kids to schedule their visits. He told me I'm being an asshole who just didn't want his kids around for Christmas. I disagreed as it's a year-round issue.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/RegalTattoo on 2023-12-28 00:51:16+00:00.

I (24f) recently moved to the same city as my brother. My brother has my niece Olivia (10f) with his late wife. He’s been married for two years to Kate who has a kid from a previous relationship, Tim (7m). Tim is autistic. Tim alternates one week with his dad and another with my brother and Kate.

I agreed to babysit Olivia today while my brother and Kate run some errands for 5-6 hours. Tim was supposed to be with his dad. The night before, Kate called and asked me to watch Tim as well as there was some emergency at his dad’s and he dropped Tim off at her place. Kate said Tim would be fine just watching some movies and then a nap. As long as I stick to this routine there should be no problem. She would provide the movies and the snacks he was comfortable to eat.

The thing was, I planned to take Kate to a cafe she told me she wanted to visit. It was supposed to be a surprise. Having to stay home with Tim would greatly change the flow of our day. In addition, I have met Tim like twice and don’t know him well. I have no experience with special needs kids and didn’t think I was equipped to look after one. Due to these reasons, I refused to babysit Tim. I told them I could only take Olivia as previously agreed.

My brother and Kate called me AH for not helping out. They told me an extra kid costed me almost nothing while their only other option was to bring Tim to Kate’s mom who can’t drive and lives almost an hour away.

They still brought Olivia over and we had a great time. They picked up Olivia 2 hours later than they were supposed to and Tim was crying. My brother and Kate said all this could be prevented had I just help out because Tim would be relaxing at my place instead of stuck in traffic and getting cranky.

I just told them emergencies happen and I really was not ready to be their plan B. Kate called me playing favorites and not seeing Tim as my family. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Hopeful-Parsnip5641 on 2023-12-28 00:33:54+00:00.

My (25F) bfs (25M) sister (32F) is a chef, loves to host dinner parties, and she is very good at it. She decorates and cooks perfectly according to her theme, begs no one else to contribute, and if you don’t have food allergies it feels like a true privilege to attend. I unfortunately am allergic to most shellfish, but this has never been an issue before as there have always been many options at her events. This year she offered to host for Christmas Eve and wanted to do the feast of the seven fishes. She knows about my allergy and I know it’s not the easiest theme to work around that, so I asked what I could do to help or if I could just bring a few dishes I can definitely eat. She said all was handled, please don’t bring off-theme dishes, she had me covered.

We didn’t eat anything before we went to her house because typically if you do, you regret not having more room for what she’s made. This time, the only thing I could eat without a reaction was a (delicious) dip that was part of the first course. The rest of the night I got to watch everyone else enjoy the delicious meals while I helped put together a Lego set with bf’s niece. BF did at one point offer to order pizza delivery, which I declined because it felt rude to his sister and honestly a bit embarrassing for me. On the way out she apologized and said it was an oversight and offered to make dinner soon to make it up to us. I accepted her apology but declined the dinner and my tone was probably cold. On the way home I told my bf I felt disrespected and won’t attend events she hosts anymore, as it’s clear she won’t take my dietary needs into account on top of being inflexible. He’s pissed because this is going to cause “unnecessary” drama in his family and he feels it won’t happen again.

Tl;dr: AITA if I don’t want to attend food-centric events anymore if they’re hosted my bf’s sister after she refused make dishes I could eat or allow me to bring my own food?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/mmmorales1 on 2023-12-28 00:33:28+00:00.

My wife and I (both 35) have been together since high school. As a result, we're both very close to each other's families. My wife has a sister who is 24. I consider her to be my little sister too, I've known her since she was in 1st grade.

My wife's sister Mary is expecting a baby and she is suffering from an illness (can't remember the name off the top of my head but just a ton of vomiting and nausea and dizziness and exhaustion). From what my wife has told me, the condition feels terrible but otherwise is manageable and won't affect the baby.

Mary was recently hospitalized for a few days due to dehydration/electrolyte imbalance because of this condition. My wife and I decided to wait until she got home to visit her. We went over a few days ago.

Scene: Mary & her husband's house. It was me, my wife, sister-in-law, her husband, my father-in-law, mother-in-law, and my wife's brother.

We're sitting around and talking. After the initial concern and talks about her health, the conversation became more light-hearted. We're watching the game and eating when my father-in-law mentions to Mary "in a few months, this will all be past you and you'll have a baby in your arms. Have you narrowed down the names?"

Mary says: "We're trying to, but he's already rejected my top 3 boy names."

Something about that really rubbed me the wrong way. I was raised to respect women and appreciate the sacrifice they make to carry a baby. When my wife was pregnant, not only did her say go with baby names, but I made sure that those 9 months were the most relaxing and calm time possible. I picked up every extra shift so she could let go of her crappy job and stay home to rest when her blood pressure got a little high. I did as much as I could around the house too. And obviously the person who is carrying the baby and whose body goes through that pain got to pick the names, I wasn't gonna complain about that. She got princess treatment for all 3 pregnancies and I still believe I didn't do enough.

So him watching his wife throw up multiple times a day, suffer from nausea all day, literally be hospitalized from the pains of pregnancy and yet he can't give her the happiness of naming her baby what she wants? It set me off and I pulled him aside a few minutes later in the kitchen and let him have it. Basically saying what I said above and outlining how I didn't respect him for his actions, in the least.

Long story short - my wife believes that I shouldn't have said anything and should've just vented about it in the car. My father-in-law and mother-in-law agree with me.

Was I the asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/strawberry_queen89 on 2023-12-28 00:31:16+00:00.

I got married in August this year. We eloped so we didn’t have a wedding celebration and both of our families were upset by our decision. Originally we were supposed to get married in October but I ask my husband if we could elope because there was a lot of family drama early in the year which made me not want a big wedding. Also, planning the wedding was so stressful for me.

My in-laws convinced me to agree to let them plan a “proper” wedding for us. I accepted because it felt like an olive branch from them after a lot of drama.

The wedding was supposed to be next July but I found out I’m pregnant a few days ago and now I don’t think a July wedding is a great idea. I told my husband I wanted to cancel it again and he spoke to his family yesterday but they’re not happy with my decision. They think I’m being irrational and keep bringing up the fact that they’ve already booked everything for the wedding. My husband offered to pay them back but his younger brother said it wasn’t about the money but the fact that I was being ridiculous and that he [my husband] let me lead him around by his dick (whatever that means). My MIL suggested we move the wedding up but I’m not sure if I want that because of how some of the family are being now.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Miserable-Day-8244 on 2023-12-28 00:28:57+00:00.

I45f have a 27 year old daughter. She has 6 kids, between the ages 10-11 months. There are 3 different fathers, she receives child support from 2 of them, and she is still with the 3rd one and they have been for 5 years. My daughter works part time, and her fiancé is a chef full time. They have lived with us for the past year and a half, due to getting evicted from their last home. The kids and them have our upstairs bedrooms (there’s 2) but that’s still crowded for 6 children. They are constantly asking me for help with phone bills, My husband and I have asked for no rent so they’d be able to save money to get a home, which I do not believe they were doing.

I have put up with loud voices through out all hours, and waking up at different hours to cater to children, because I love my grandchildren. I never complained to my daughter because I believe family is very important. It’s just that my children are all grown up, my youngest moved out 4 years ago and my husband and I had hopes to remodel. We didn’t expect them to be living here this long.

On Christmas Eve, my daughter gathered us all around and announced they were pregnant with baby #7. Everyone was all excited, but I felt dread. That would mean another child in our house with not much room. I looked over at my husband and could tell he felt the same, we discussed later and decided we were going to have to ask them to move out.

Last night at dinner I brought it up to my daughter and her boyfriend and we told them, they have 2 months to find a place because we cannot have another child here. My daughter started crying, saying she couldn’t believe I’d throw her to the streets for having a baby, that this was completely unfair and not enough time. I told her I was sorry, it was painful for me as well, but these living conditioners were impossible. She demanded I give her more time or she’d go to the courts and I told her news flash, the courts only gives you 30 days. She then said my grandchildren were going to be homeless because I was selfish. She made a Facebook post asking for rooms to rent because “she’s pregnant and has nowhere to go and her family don’t give a sh*t about her.” AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/SoberNewYearsWedding on 2023-12-27 21:43:02+00:00.

My buddy (33M) is getting married to a girl that our friend group is not in love with.  He loves her though so we support him.  We have known for months this was a new years eve wedding.  I RSVP'd yes months ago with my wife.  Several friends and I operated under the assumption that there would be booze at the wedding, especially considering it is on New Years Eve.  Well I found out yesterday that it is a dry wedding, turns out it is because of his Fiance and her family.

I asked my wife if she knew this and said no and was pissed.  I texted the groom buddy and asked.  He confirmed this.  I told him this is something you should have told us a long time ago.  I told him that Wife and I wouldn't be going.  We want to spend the night drinking.  

I texted the rest of my friends about this and oh boy, the group chat went off.  This led to several more people backing out.  This is not how a bunch of us expected to spend New Years Eve.  Really the only ones that didn't back out are the 4 members of our 12 person group that are in the wedding.  

Groom buddy reached out to me and went off.  Pretty much he is now overspending on catering, he is having 20ish less guests show up than planned and this is all last minute. I've been called an asshole among other things for "leading the charge" in people not going to the wedding.  AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Temporary-Warning356 on 2023-12-27 21:21:37+00:00.

Hopefully, you guys are going to agree with me on this.

I have some black elasticated shorts I've owned since I was 13. My Mom originally purchased these shorts as part of my sports kit for school. They're 13 years old now, but they're still comfortable, and I wear these to bed every day (these shorts get washed every three days). They're in good condition.

My wife HATES these shorts because she thinks they're ugly. She's spent the last four years begging me to get rid of them, I've refused to bin them, and she's refused to give up begging. We argued tonight and she's kicked me out of the bedroom and she's made me sleep on the couch. She's calling me an asshole as I won't get rid of them.

I don't see why I should as they're in great condition and THEY'RE COMFORTABLE.

AITA?