Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Character-Break-1234 on 2024-01-18 12:48:54+00:00.

Throwaway.

My (34M) SIL (32F) made some gestures and acted surprised when she saw my reaction to my wife's (34F) gift for my birthday. I am not an expressive person and I'm not a good actor. Even if I loved a gift, it won't show.

When my SIL saw that, later she pulled my wife aside and asked her if I was always this cold every time she gave me something or surprised me. My wife said "Yes". This made my wife conscious of my reactions

My SIL expects every partner to act super happy and joyful when gifted anything. She might be a good actor or an expressive person, and so is her husband. If he gave her a sock she'd still act like it is a Rolex. It's sweet but I'm not like that.

My wife started to get less excited about buying me things, which really upsets me, not for the gifts I couldn't care less, but because she now feels that I'm not a person to be gifted things or that I'm unhappy with her efforts.

I texted my SIL and told her to stop turning her sister against me for no damn reason. My SIL said I'm an ass for assuming that people can "turn" her sister easily. She's her sister, she can totally turn her around.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Foreign-Zucchini8046 on 2024-01-18 12:42:34+00:00.

Keeping things as vague as possible as they threatened to sue me and they stalked me on social media.

I'm American but I live in an European country, I speak their language and multiple other languages which made me very popular on a platform I taught English from. I study here and this is a side job. How the platform works is I set my self available, then someone calls me. No scheduled lessons.

I became extremely popular on that site, actually ranked the top tutor of the month for 6/9 months I worked there partially because I was able to explain concepts to them in their native language and I could talk to absolute beginners who didn't know any English. Some of the non native English teachers started to resent me and they would make nasty comments because their advantage over the Native English teachers was they spoke other languages and I can do both.

I think the other reason why I was extremely popular was I let the students do whatever they wanted. The platform had a bunch of bullshit rules on behavior and I straight up just didn't care, most tutors would end the lesson when people did this but I didn't. I had many people who would call me drunk, I had someone call me during a hotboxing session and there were like 6 stoned guys trying to learn English with me, I had people call me without shirts or pants on, people who would call me and ask for help with their homework instead of doing the lesson plans. I ended up making a ton of money because I never rejected any call and some people had a ton of unused hours on the platform so they called me and they left the house to do other activities and I just stared at a wall, I didn't care because I got paid.

One called me 1-3 hours everyday. She would vape, drink beer, play video games and other stuff while she talked to me, she was really cute too and it turns out she lived in the same city as me. I started to get feelings for her and she did the same. She began to feel so comfortable that she would call me with just a bra on.

The admin were actually monitoring the calls and they saw this. They banned her and gave me a warning, I know this because she added me on facebook. After I accepted her friend request I got warned by them that I am not allowed to have contact with students and if I don't cut contact with them I will be fired. They disabled my ability to conduct lessons and said I had to have a meeting to discuss my punishment. I decided to fuck with them at this point so i contacted all my previous students and offered to do lessons off the platform, around 1/3 agreed, I also went through all the lessons and I added a bunch of incorrect grammar rules, spelling and grammar errors so now almost every lesson other teachers will teach are ruined. They don't have the ability to see who modified the lessons which is really stupid. I have a date planned with that girl and I'm excited and they're fucking pissed.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/lemmiter on 2024-01-18 10:20:34+00:00.

My (29M) wife (27F) likes to write romantic poems once in a while. It's very sweet and I appreciate it. On Monday evening, she showed me one such recently written poem - it was very sweet and I said so and told her how much I appreciated it.

Later, during dinner (we eat dinner later - so about 2 hours after she showed me her poem), she asked me who was my favorite poet. I honestly didn't think that she wanted to hear her name, I thought it was more along the lines of a famous poet. The only problem was I am not into reading books in general - even further from poems. And it has been a while since I even took an English class (freshman year gen-ed). I honestly don't remember any poem.

But I am into football and follow Antonio Brown (AB) on Twitter. He regularly posts short poems which I really enjoy reading. So, that's what came to my mind and I told my wife that it's Antonio Brown. She was immediately curious because she never heard of him - she doesn't follow football. I explained who he is and then she looked him up on Twitter. Within 5 minutes, she was furious. She said that AB's poems are not even poems - they are trash and I am a bad person for even reading them. She asked me how I could have thought that AB is a better poet than her.

I tried to explain that I thought she wanted me to say the name of someone famous and not her because she already knows that she's my favorite. But she didn't accept that. She didn't finish dinner and stopped talking to me. It has been two whole days and she still haven't properly talked to me even though I tried talking to her. So, AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Ambitious-Total-6164 on 2024-01-18 09:07:16+00:00.

Anon account as my partner follows me.

Today my co-worker was chatting to be about his ex girlfriend. I was listening to everything that he was saying and letting him vent/ let out frustrations. We have known each other for a year and a half.

He moved onto talking about how sex is really important for him, and that he needs to have it to be in a happy relationship. He asked me what I thought about that, and if it was important to me? I answered and said “Yeah it’s really important to me and my partner and we like to have it often”.

I went home and told my girlfriend about the conversation and she has blown up at me saying that I have “breached her trust, and I have a tendency to overshare, and that she has no idea what else I have talked about in regards to sex”. I assured her that was exactly what I said, but she thinks that having that conversation without her permission, because it is ‘our’ sex life is unacceptable and won’t budge. She says that we need to have some space until I can see it from her perspective.

I can understand that sex is a sensitive topic, and I would never disclose any intimate details about our sex life, but I don’t feel as if I have crossed any boundaries here? I felt like I kept the response short and honest. In my view, sex is quite natural so there is no shame in disclosing that we have sex? My thinking is that most people would assume that if you known to be in a relationship sex is something that happens?

AITA?

Please be honest as I am trying to see things from my partners perspective as I love her very much.

EDIT:

Just want to say thank you for all the responses, helped to open my mind to different perspectives. It has really helped me grasp an idea of the situation. Appreciate y’all!

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/throwawaybob78921 on 2024-01-18 05:53:47+00:00.

So I (28M) have a sister (31F) who recently got married. She got married on the 6th, which was also the day that I had to attend a really important meeting for my job-as in, if i didnt go i would get fired. I really need this job, as my parents can’t support us and I have no SO to help. The conversation where I told her went something like this (M=me, S=sister, H=sisters husband, B=my boss):

M: hey, S, when was your wedding going to be again?

S: january 6th, 2024! It’s the day that H and I met!

M: …oh, uh is there any way to move it?

S: why?? This is a really important day to us

M: well, i have a very important meeting for my job, like B will literally fire me if im not there

S: ??? This is literally my wedding and you want to miss it for some work meeting?? Im sure B would understand

M: you know how B is he would not understand. And its not just “some work meeting” this is a really important one (purposely being vague as someone in my life may see this)

After this point she wouldnt respond to my calls, and only responded to my messages with 1 word answers. I still bought her a very expensive gift she had been wanting (i was saving up, though i still spent a large amount of my money), and I offered to get together with them at a later date to go out for drinks. So, AITA for not being able to go to my sister’s wedding?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Blue_Buddie on 2024-01-18 04:19:42+00:00.

I have debilitating back pain and scheduled a massage tomorrow. We are at the end of an ice storm, and haven’t been able to leave the house until today. In order to make it to my appointment, I need my boyfriend to drive me as my car won’t safely make it down our steep hill. I can’t drive his car because it is a manual. My boyfriend has missed two days of work and was hoping to attend a meeting he says is the only thing he enjoys/sees a future in in his job. He first offered to skip work so he could help me make it to my appointment, and has since reversed the offer and now plans to go to work. Logistically he can’t make the meeting and drive me to my appointment. I’m not able to walk/move around comfortably and massage typically helps. Earlier this week, he left during the peak of the ice storm to see friends and came home and side swiped my car. AITA for expecting him to miss the meeting so I can have pain relief?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/RecentSquare7357 on 2024-01-18 03:23:13+00:00.

My fiancé and I have been together almost 3 years, just engaged last month. He has 2 grown children and I also have 2 grown children. We are both divorcees who swore we would never get married again, but here we are years post divorce and engaged.

My issue is, my fiancée gives his grown son approximately $1,000 a month, I know this after a recent conversation we had with some friends when he just casually brought it up when we were talking about extra money we could be spending on certain things but instead are spending it on XYZ..

for instance, I was spending my extra money on a trip that he and I had talked about going on and then he didn’t have the money to go so I went with a friend, and he said he was fine with it. I was very upset that he was not going to be able to go, and I even offered to pay for his part and he refused. Well, during the conversation with the friends I learned he didn’t have the extra money because of this grown child, 25 years old with a college education and a career that pays good! I was baffled. I knew he would give him money occasionally for whatever but $1,000 “approximately” every month is a little outrageous in my opinion. Especially when it interferes with things that we are or were going to be doing together and now can not.

I honestly do not even know what to say to this or how to respond, is our time together not worth turning down your kid for some spending money? He doesn’t even “need” the money, it’s money he spends on gas, eating out, and hanging out with his friends and GF!. AND is it to much for the man to get his passport?! I’ve begged and went out of the country on trips by myself that he was supposed to go with me on, even said he was going to get his passport but 2 years later has yet to do so, because he does not have a desire to travel internationally.. I just want my partner to travel with me to new places, and yes some of the places are out of the continental US. Is this all just to much to ask of him? Should I be more understanding of his side?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Huge-Entertainer549 on 2024-01-17 20:32:43+00:00.

I (17m) was at school with some buds, getting ready to practice basketball, and some cheerleaders remaining from their practice were wrapping up a convo and getting ready to leave. One girl was rather popular for her white hair, and she had a recognizable hairstyle, so I did a Guts voice and yelled "GRIFFITH" at her. She jumped, and hunched over, sounding like she was crying, and her friends started yelling at me. Then it turned out she was laughing, but they didn't apologize, and they left with her. AITA? I know this is kinda dumb, but it's been sticking with me for some reason

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/titoushh on 2024-01-17 18:25:32+00:00.

Yesterday, I was feeling really sick, so I decided to stay home and rest. Around 9 pm, my situationship texted me asking if I was feeling better, but I didn’t respond because I wasn’t in the mood for conversation + phone was dnd. I stayed up until 11 pm watching TikTok in an attempt to fall asleep and sent him a TikTok at around 10:30 pm. He got upset because I didn’t answer his initial text and went on to question our relationship, suggesting we might not be a good fit just because of that. Am I the asshole here, or was he overreacting? Looking for some perspective on this situation.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/No_rain_93 on 2024-01-17 16:13:11+00:00.

Some background: I was raised without guns. I had never held a gun in my life until a couple of years ago. I am always nice to the grandpa, even though he's done some things to rub me the wrong way. I act interested in the things he shows me even if I'm not. Well one time he was showing me a gun and placed it in my hands. He didn't ask if I wanted to hold it (I would have said no) just handed it to me. When he saw how uncomfortable I was holding it he took it back and said he thought I would want to look at it. I told him that was the first time I had ever held a gun and it made me uncomfortable. My partner was raised with guns in mind, he was taught how to use them safely and taken to the gun range as a child.

A few years ago my partner was pressured into taking his father's rifle. I wasn't happy about it and neither was he. He complained about it to me on multiple occasions and said he wished he hadn't taken it. However he never expressed this regret to his family.

Well this Christmas his grandpa got him a gun as a present. My partner said he wouldn't take it home until he had a lock for it. On our drive home we talked about if he should take it at all. I told him ultimately it was his decision but that I thought he shouldn't. I talked about how he told me he wished he hadn't taken the rifle before and how big of a stressor it was to get rid of it. I told him he didn't have to feel guilty for not taking it and his grandpa should have known better than to buy someone a gun without discussing it with them. I compared it to buying someone a puppy as a present. My partner is very defensive of his grandpa and said he kind of wants to take it to make his grandpa happy. I said I think that is a bad reason to have a gun in your possession.

Am I justified in being upset with his grandpa? Should I be more supportive of him taking a gun as a present? A big part of me is worried about setting this precedent. If my partner takes this gun, will his grandpa buy him more guns as gifts?

Edit: just as a reference my partner and I are both vegetarian and he has only used a gun at a range.

Edit 2: I do feel like I shouldn't be mad at grandpa now and it is up to my partner what he wants to do (which was my stance from the beginning). If he decides to take it, like I said that's his decision. If he doesn't then he needs to have that conversation with his grandpa. From the conversation I had with him he said he doesn't want the responsibility of owning the gun and is planning on telling the grandpa he won't take it.

Edit 3: Just sat down with him and said "you know you can take the gun if you want to right?" and he said that he didn't want to because he would just put it in the closet and never use it and if he did want to use it he would have to run errands (buy ammo go to gun range etc) to be able to use it and he doesn't have time for that and doesn't want to make time for it. He said he'll try to figure out the right way to tell his grandpa.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Not-Catholic on 2024-01-18 11:19:21+00:00.

I (21 F) am in a grupchat with some of the friends I made in uni, among which there is this girl, lets call her Ellie (20). Me and Ellie were never really close, we made some occasional conversations when I hung out with the group and sometimes I would sit with her during lessons.

One day, everybody was discussing in the groupchat about a difficoult exam we just took and in the heat of the situation I wrote a blasphemy (I don’t know how to translate that in English its like an insulting term to god in italian). The next day when I went to uni Ellie approached me and said that what I wrote in the gc was insulting to her since she called herself a “religious person”.

As I said before, me and her were never really close but what I KNEW about her was that she never goes to church, she parties and drinks a lot and hooks up with a lot of guys, which is absolutley fine, but isn’t really “religious and christian” from her. So I told Ellie that I didn’t know that was so important to her, and that I didn’t understand why she was coming at me like that since other people wrote that word multiple times in the gc. She straight up told me “Well it was the guys that wrote that more frequently, it’s normal for them, but I thought that you knew better as a girl”. This really irritated me and I told her if she didn’t like to see a girl curse she could leave the gc.

She got extremely angry and told me that she would start to write the n-word and f-word (she is white and straight of course) since those words “triggered me so much” because for her “there was no difference between a blasphemy and a slur”. This is where I might be the AH because I straight up answered her “There is a difference because black people and gay people exist, while god doesn’t”.

She was furious for that and demanded the other uni friends to kick me out from the gc but they refused so she abandoned the group instead. Some of my uni friends told me to try to make peace with her, some others think it’s better if she stays away and that I was right. So AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Safe_Conversation286 on 2024-01-18 10:24:14+00:00.

My dad got married to Liz 4 years ago. I (15M) was spending equal amounts of time with both my mom and dad and the custody schedule was me swapping houses each week. Liz has three kids from her first marriage and those kids are 10, 8 and 7 now. The kids were clingy from the day they moved in but then in June and July 2020 I was living there exclusively because my mom ended up in the hospital. I couldn't do anything without the kids being in my face then and every time I asked dad and Liz to help me stop them they refused and the kids didn't listen to me saying no.

My dad told me I would never get another chance to have siblings and to embrace and nurture the relationship with them. I told him this was making them feel more like burdens than siblings and he told me I was too young to see them that way and dismissed my need for space. It was a huge relief when mom got better and I could go to her house for breaks.

By the time I was 12 I had asked my mom if she could go to court to change the custody deal so I could spend more time with her. I was 13 when it was successful. My dad was upset and Liz was kinda mad that her kids would miss me more than they did while I was at dad's.

My uncles (dad's brother and his husband) even said how strangely clingy the kids were and they found it weird that every time I was with my mom the kids would be asking when I would come home and why they couldn't see me. I wouldn't even be gone a day and they would ask that. They started that before we even knew each other a year!!

I spend way less time with my dad now and I went on vacation with him, Liz and the kids last June and it was miserable. My vacation was basically spending all that week with the kids and following them around and doing stuff they liked.

On Christmas Eve I spent a few hours at dad's because the court still asks for that. So I was there and my stepsiblings were being super clingy and telling me not to go and I should be with them at Christmas and then they demanded they get invited to my mom's house and Liz asked me how I could leave and miss out on a family Christmas and hurt "my siblings" so much. Dad told me on drive back to mom's he told me that I should be taking my responsibility more seriously.

I took a 3 week break from them but the 10 year old called me daily during those 3 weeks. Then dad announced we were going on vacation again in May and he was saying it was a place I wanted to go. I decided right there that I was not going to ruin a place I had always wanted to go by being smothered by my stepsiblings and I told dad they can go but I won't and that I won't be going on vacation with them again. He was surprised and he told me I had to go and I said I don't and I won't and he asked me for one good reason why and I told him my stepsiblings would ruin it by suffocating me and that he and Liz would do nothing about it. Dad called my attitude nasty and said I should be ashamed of myself talking about them like that.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Fine-Address9947 on 2024-01-18 10:14:20+00:00.

About a year ago, my (44M) wife (38F) suggested us getting separate bedrooms since she had a lot of trouble sleeping together and it would allow us to have our own privacy. I was initially not a big fan of the idea because I thought it would effect our relationship and our connection, but after talking about it for a few months I reluctantly agreed. She also suggested that we need to respect each other's privacy by knocking on each other's doors before entering.

So for about a year now we have had our own bedrooms and to my surprise, I have been enjoying it a lot. We still sleep together a few times a week, but do spend the majority of the nights separately. I have really enjoyed the privacy and having the opportunity to unwind by myself without having to worry about anything else. But my wife on the other hand doesn't seem to be enjoying it as much. She has started spending more nights with me in my bedroom which is fine. But she has now started acting like we don't have any agreements at all. At first she was very adamant about knocking on each other's doors before entering each other's rooms and would frequently call me out on it if I didn't. But now she has started acting like my separate bedroom is her bedroom and she doesn't knock before entering my room like we agreed to.

When I called her out on it, she got really emotional and angry with me. She told me that I didn't care about her and I didn't want to have her around anymore. She also said that it really hurts her feelings. But I just referred to all the rules she had made up and that has gotten her really upset

AITA?

EDIT: added our ages 44M and 38F

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/lilsiths on 2024-01-18 09:27:21+00:00.

My 35f fiancé 35m announced he wants his Ex fiancées step dad to be his best man at our wedding. I’ve immediately said no. I wasn’t aware he is in contact with his ex’s family let alone the step dad is his best friend. We’ve been together for 3.5 years and due to get married in 6 months. The step dads +1 would be his ex’s mum.

Edit. He didn’t tell me sooner because he didn’t want to hurt my feelings. Then said he didn’t tell me because he forgot. Not the first time something has been kept from me to spare my feelings.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Honest_Copy5534 on 2024-01-18 05:58:49+00:00.

Throwaway

I'm sharing a situation that's been bothering me, and I'm looking for your perspective on whether I might be in the wrong.

Growing up, I (15M) was constantly bullied through all of elementary and highschool about "being gay" even though I'm not. The constant bullying I faced made me insecure, leading me to actively avoid anything that might be perceived as too feminine to make sure I wasn't faced with mockery.

Now, the recent incident unfolded when my brother(17M) had his friend (17?M) over. I entered my brother's room to get my charger that my brother has been using. However, when I entered my brother's room his friend looked at me and without even a greeting or introduction asked "Are you gay?" The kinda pissed me off because what happened to Hi, hello???

Anyway, I told him I wasn't gay and asked him why he thought I was. His response? A "vibe" he picked up on. This honestly left me genuinely upset. Adding to the fuel, both my brother and his friend burst into laughter at which only fueled my frustration more.

After my brother's friend left the house, my brother came into my room, and asked me If I was still upset. I told him a little bit and then he told me that It was just a question and If I didn't want to he precived as gay then I needed to stop acting like a little bitch.

What my brother said to me struck a nerve so I decided to ask my online friend for advice. I reached out to her because she happens to be a lesbian (15F) and I thought she could add Input. However, her take on the situation left me conflicted. According to her, my reaction was very homophobic, and she suggested that my sensitivity might imply that I have some "Internalized homophobia." I told her that I wasn't closeted but she urged me to work on myself and stop letting such things bother me?

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/-Ineedhelp-- on 2024-01-18 05:21:48+00:00.

I (32F) caught my son (15M) cuddling with his friend (15M) while they were sleeping in their room. I decided not to wake them up and I discussed it with my husband (34M) and the possibility that our son might be gay came up. While I initially agreed with my husband's suggestion to approach our son when his friend leave, I late decided that we should just wait until our son was comfortable sharing this with us. My husband agrued saying what if he never tell us that he's gay. I told my husband that if he doesn't tell us that he's gay then he's probably not. I told him that we should just let our son know that we'll love him regardless and leave it at that.

However, my husband went against our agreement and questioned our son about his sexual orientation while I was driving my son's friend home. When I returned home, I discovered my son in TEARS, yelling and accusing me of outing him. I was confused and told my son that I didn't know what he was talking about.

My son told me while he was crying that his father revealed what I saw and basically coerced him into coming out before he was ready. My son asked me why I would I tell his father and why would I enter his room with out his permission. I started crying and told my son that I was sorry and that I loved him and accept him no matter what. My son remained distant and now refusing to speak to me and his father.

When I confronted my husband I told him that I was angry that he threw me under the bus. He claimed he didn't mean any harm, only shared what I mentioned to our son hoping it'll make him comfortable about coming out to us. Despite his pleas for forgiveness, I can't help but feel anger towards him knowing my son is now feeling hatred for me of something that I actively tried to prevent.

My husband argues that blaming him for our son's emotions is unfair, and told me our son is only going through an emotional phase that will pass. Despite him begging for my son and my forgiveness, telling us that he meant no harm, I'm torn between forgiving him because I blame him for causing our son to be angry with me.

ETA: I entered my son's room because I was doing laundry and planning on washing my son's clothes. I did knock to see if they were awake and waited for a response, and when I got no response, I entered. I only usually do this when I plan on washing clothes as I like to do it early in the morning. I've been doing this since my son was 12, and he told me he didn't mind it because he would wake up with clean clothes. When I saw my son and his friend cuddling, I immediately walked out of his room and shut the door. I was thinking straight and should have waited for his friend to leave.

Sorry for not mentioning this before.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Clazipsef on 2024-01-18 04:48:42+00:00.

It was my(18m) dad(43)’s birthday. He wanted me to cook for him and some friends, and I said yes. Met some of them before. One of his friends is also my gf(18)’s dad. I did what my mom taught me : use milk to make the chicken tender.

A couple of them were surprised that I managed to cook roasted chicken well. I told them ‘Thanks. I just marinate it with milk to make it tender’ and one of them panicked.

Turns out he has milk allergy and gets digestive issues. My dad started berating me, saying I should have told them ahead of time that I was using milk to check if anyone is allergic. That it was careless of me not to check first when milk is a common allergy.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Defiant-Fall4155 on 2024-01-18 03:49:28+00:00.

My GF and I were both sitting in the living room together. She was playing on her phone and I was watching YouTube videos on my laptop. Her phone rang and she took the call and went outside to talk. I continued to watch videos on my laptop.

Around 15 minutes pass before GF returns to the room, still talking on the phone, and proceeds to sit back on the couch and continue her phone conversation.

I am annoyed by this, as I can barely hear the video I was watching, and so I turn the volume up slightly, allowing me to hear both the video and her conversation.

After a couple of minutes GF storms out of the room, hangs up the phone call, then storms back in, furious at me for being so rude??

An argument ensues, GF is adamant that I am rude and TAH because I did not pause my video so that she could hear her phonecall.

I countered that she was rude for returning to the room whilst still on the phone, preventing me from hearing my video.

Her answer to this is that she was just wrapping up the call and so came back inside and I could have just paused my video for 2 minutes until she was done.

My counter is that I did not know how much longer the call would go for, and I assumed that her coming back inside, knowing I was watching a video, must have meant that she was fine with background noise.

She is 100% confident that IATAH, whereas I am confident that she is infact TAH. Please tell me Reddit, who is the true AH?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/urgirlfriendsgf on 2024-01-18 02:34:20+00:00.

EDIT: The water thing. He is physically able to drink water. He says it worsens his heartburn and that's why he needs to drink soda, chocolate milk, and flavored water. He also cannot eat.. normally? I have only ever seen him eat: chicken fingers, plain cheeseburger (just bun + patty), mildly spiced Thai curry, pizza, Kraft Mac and cheese, and other packaged foods. He says he cannot eat vegetables. I have never seen him eat a vegetable with the exception of the ones in the Thai curry. This alone is almost reason for me to not want to go with him. They dont have a kids menu. There will be a chef making food and you dont get to make requests.

I planned a physically extensive vacation (horseback riding through the mountains for 10 days) prior to getting into a relationship with a guy that has a bad knee and a bunch of GI issues, including being an extremely picky eater and unable to drink plain water.

When I told him about the trip, he immediately asked if he could come and if there was space on the excursion. He was really really excited that something like that exists. He used to ride horses when he was a kid. When I pointed out that he will be on horseback for literally 10 days, hasn't even ridden a horse in 12+ years, will have to eat whatever food they provide, and sleep in a rough campsite on top of all these health issues, he said he would just bear it. I told him he should research the trip and maybe go ride a horse locally somewhere. He had no interest in that and instead went to boot barn and started buying cowboy clothing.

His knee issues are significant. If something happened, he could really injure himself further and he is on State health insurance. It's not great care. He kept talking like he really could do this trip. He cannot even walk more than a mile or two and cannot go hiking. How could he possibly ride on horseback through the mountains for 10 days? I literally turn into his medical assistant for physical work and his GI issues. His lack of concern and inability to think realistically struck me.

If I go even a year without riding a horse (even just 6 months..) then I am in serious pain after 2 hours of riding. This would be 10 whole days. Not to mention the GI issues. He has sporadic GI issues that cripple him for hours. So the thought of 10 days of me having to worry about him, likely have to help him out a lot, and the risk was real that he may not be able to even finish the trip at all had me really start to dread the trip. I ended up having to tell him that I really want to just do this trip solo, as I originally planned it. I am a professional rider and I want to get the most out of this trip.

Hes mad at me and will not acknowledge his physical impairments...AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Forward_Formal_6467 on 2024-01-17 22:45:44+00:00.

I (18F) am a freshman in college and got randomly assigned with my roommate. In the first semester her long distance boyfriend, who is 4 years older then us, came to visit twice. Once when I was away for the weekend and once during a break when I went home. Both times he stayed a day longer then I was away. The first time this happened I slept in my own bed sharing a room with them. The second time my roommate asked if I could give them alone time and I slept on my friends floor.

Recently she asked if I would be traveling this month and I said no. She informed me that she was hoping for her boyfriend to come visit and stay in our dorm room for 3 nights as hotels are expensive. I told her that I did't feel comfortable sharing a room with them for 3 days and didn't want to sleep on my friends floor again. She said that her friend has an air mattress I could borrow and I told her I didn't want sleep on a random persons air mattress nor did I want to impose on my friend and her roommates room for 3 days especially as she wanted him to come during a time when I have exams and need my room to study. I asked her if it would be possible for her to wait till spring break to see him or to visit him as he has his own apartment rather then him come here. She said she really wanted him to come here. And I repeated that I didn't want him to come. She then left the room.

When she returned it looked like she had cried and she told me that it makes her very sad when she can't see him for a long time and that I'm not letting her see him and that if my long distance bf came to visit she would gladly sleep in someone else's room. I said that wasn't the point and that if he really wanted to come he could find a cheap hotel.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Smart-Jellyfish1111 on 2024-01-17 22:27:30+00:00.

I 23 (f) recently had to fly across the Country to attend my sister Wedding. At the Airport there was a mom (around 40) with her little son (6 or 7) and the whole time she was demanding things from the airport staff. When we boarded the plane i went straight to my seat which was a middle seat, sat down and took out my earphones when the mother and the son arrived. They had the window seat and the seat and the aisle seat. Directly the woman demanded that she MUST sit next to her son and i MUST sit at the aisle so she could sit next to him. I dont like sitting in the aisle seat very much so i told her (friendly) that i dont really like giving up my seat as i dont like sitting there and she then started to yell that it is her right to sit Next to her son. I politely told her that i would be willing to change seats with her son (who had the window seat) and she continued yelling that she NEEDED the seat and that she wont accept that her son has to give up his seat as he is a child and deserves the window seat. In the end a Stewardess came and i got to sit in my originally seat. The mom kept 'accidentally' kicking me the whole flight and made her son annoy me on Purpose so i might give up my seat.

When i went to the toilet i thought it was finally over as she might have accepted it but when i came back she was in my seat and my jacket and my bag which i left there were thrown into the aisle. I called a Stewardess and they made her get back onto her place.

Aita for not giving in and just let her sit next to her son instead of politely declining and keep sitting on my seat?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/cosmic_dreamerxox on 2024-01-17 20:51:44+00:00.

I (24F) have an older sister, Claire (26F) who is getting married next year. Claire asked me to be one of her seven bridesmaids. I felt honored at first, but the more I think about it, the more I don't want to do it.

Claire has always been really demanding and high maintenance. And now she is even more extreme when it comes to her wedding.

I know being part of her wedding party will mean a lot of stress and drama. She critiques every detail about our dresses, hair, makeup, etc. and makes unreasonable demands.

When I tried to gently tell Claire I don't feel comfortable being a bridesmaid, she completely lost it on me. She called me selfish and accused me of trying to ruin the most important day of her life. Now the whole family is pressuring me to give in and be part of her wedding party.

I offered to attend the wedding as a regular guest, but Claire said if I'm not a bridesmaid then I shouldn't bother coming at all. Am I being unreasonable here?

I don't want to cause family drama, but I really think being a bridesmaid will be miserable with how Claire is acting. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Present-Algae6767 on 2024-01-17 20:31:46+00:00.

I'm currently out of work so I stay home with our 4 year son during the day while wife works. My wife needs to be at work at 8am, but lately, she will wake up at 645, sit in bed for 10 or 15 and watch TikTok videos or scroll Facebook, then go and shower, do her hair, makeup, and get dressed.

Meanwhile I get up, get out son fed and let the dog out to pee (and because she's a runner, she can somehow get out of our fenced in yard) and get the dog fed.

This morning my wife comes down and gets made that her coffee isn't made, her lunch is not made and packed, her work stuff isn't together and brought out to the car, and her car isn't warmed up.

I told her that it's not my job to get her shit together and she can either wake up earlier in the morning or make her lunch and get her stuff ready the night before.

She told me that wasn't the point, the point would is that as her partner, I should be assisting her to get to work on time and now she is going to be late. I told her if she didn't sit in bed watching TikTok or Facebook, she would be on time.

She called me an asshole. So, am I?

Edit #1 - Since so many people are asking, no, she never got my lunch or warmed my car up or got my stuff ready in the morning when I was working. However I also worked strang hours and often left hours before she would wake, and in fact, she didn't drink coffee until a few years ago.

Edit #2 - I don't mind helping her out. I'm not that kind of partner that isn't upset that I have to help my partner. I'm more mad that instead of getting ready for her day, she's sitting in bed watching TikTok and except me to get her ready.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Itsloadedwithbacon on 2024-01-17 20:27:53+00:00.

My parents divorced when I was a teen; my beloved mother passed away 10 years ago and my father (Joe, M/70s) remarried about 20 years ago to Lisa (F, late 60s). I'm an only child (42F). My relationship with Lisa's rocky - not for typical stepkid stuff, but she stirs up issues, is outright mean at times, confrontational, etc. I've spent my adult life trying to preserve the peace and kept most of this under wraps from Joe as I didn't want to add gas to the fire.

After a few years and more issues with Lisa, we addressed it with Joe and he agreed that it was problematic. Her behavior is well-known and discussed amongst her four children, their friend circle and extended family, so it's no secret and we've witnessed it fracture their relationships over time.

Examples: Lisa got caught by a friend turning a framed photo of my mother and I displayed in memorandum at our wedding facedown (more than once, so not an accident), "losing" the keys to my mom's car that we needed to sell upon her passing, repeatedly introducing herself to people at our wedding shower as my mother (deceased less than a year prior), insults to me, husband, inlaws, you name it.

While my mom's side of the family's has always gathered on Christmas day, I've hosted them at my home the past few years - we're not super close, but it's the one day out of 365 we spend together and it's a nice way to remember my mom while preserving the relationships with family on her side.

In the past few years, Joe's attended my mom's family Christmas as he was their family as well for the 20+ years they were married. While there was a bit of bad blood in the divorce, the family has let go of animosity toward Joe. They are not a fan of Lisa - mom despised Lisa and they're aware of the issues Lisa's caused.

Christmas: Joe messaged my husband and asked if Lisa could come to my mom's family's celebration at our home.

My husband (43M) politely said that it wouldn't be well received if she attended. Joe said "that's disappointing." We moved forward with the typical Christmas plan; nothing else was said about her coming.

Welp, Lisa shows up on Christmas day, right in the middle of the gathering. She let herself in, walked up to my husband and said "I'm here to make my presence known." My husband looked at her (wordless), then she asked "Am I welcome here?" He simply said "no." She turned around and left.

Joe is throwing a FIT. Called my husband and berated him over "denying her entry," criticized his character, shamed him...you name it, it's been said via phone, text, and now emails. He is demanding we apologize to Lisa, said we're holding grudges, we've embarrassed the family...I could go on and on.

So...AITA for not including my stepmother?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Appropriate_Trade217 on 2024-01-17 18:28:22+00:00.

A while ago I [16f] heard my sister [22] arguing with my parents about something so I kinda eavesdropped and heard them mention something about my sister being pregnant, and I was obviously surprised but I couldn’t tell anyone I knew. And then another while after I overheard them having a conversation about when to tell me so I pretty much knew when they were planning on telling me as well.

They called me into the kitchen one day and she said she had something to tell me and they were making it a big surprise but obviously I knew what she was about to say. Leading up to it I was thinking of how I was gonna act when she tells me but when it actually came to it I decided to just tell her I already knew instead of lying and pretending to act surprised. Both her and my parents were pretty shocked and asked how I knew and I told them I had heard them talking about it. I felt kinda bad because they were probably expecting a big reaction but I thought it was better than lying to them.

My mom was pretty pissed off and later that night she went mad at me for "ruining a special moment". I told her I just didn’t want to fake a reaction but she said she didn’t care and that I could’ve just pretended to be surprised and happy for her.

Edit: I wasn’t there when my parents initially found so for everyone saying they were mad, idk how they reacted