Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Panda_Hugger333 on 2024-01-18 01:57:20+00:00.

I a 12yoM had a friend Bella 12yoF i need to know because i had told my family and they say i am NTA(not the a$$hole) but i need to know, I get a text on Snapchat from my friend Bella she told me she was getting back with her ex I told her it wasn't a good idea she didn't care and I tried to convince her by saying something along the lines of your parents got back together and now they're getting a divorce. Then she told me how it hurt her I apologized and I thought that was the end of it then I get put into a group chat with Sara (15yoF?) They both started to say how I hurt Bella's feelings and it wasn't all right I apologized and said I know I can't make it right, i said I'm sorry more times than I can count on my fingers I said I was just using an example and I didn't mean for it to be hurtful I even said right after sorry if i Hurt your feelings but you need to get your head out of your a$$ they didn't care and started saying mean things about me such as how Bella was “venting” to Sara about me with three laughing emojis, apparently this had been going on for multiple years that I have known her instead of confronting me whenever it happens and being like hey you did this I didn't like it and having me take accountability which I have done in the past and the group chat I have admitted I was wrong and try to fix it but they wouldn't let that happen by the end of the conversation they called me an asshole and cut off friendship with me I was in tears I told my family shoving cookie dough Down my throat and they say I'm not the a$$hole I need to know to clear my head and help me improve to be a better person AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ImOutHereTryin on 2024-01-18 01:57:08+00:00.

I''ve been struggling with mental health issues and recently started making real progress. My best friend, who knows about my struggles, is having a bachelor party next week. It's going to be a wild, high-stress event. I feel like attending could set back my progress, so I told him I can't go. He got upset and said I'm abandoning him at a crucial time. Some of our friends agree with him. I'm feeling guilty but also worried about my mental well-being. AITA for putting my mental health first in this situation?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/NotebodyKnows on 2024-01-18 01:39:02+00:00.

I (24) was born intersex however, we weren't aware of it until I was a teenager and hormones and the like happened. I changed my name and started by using neutral pronouns and terms for myself. I legally changed my name and my ID info once I was an adult. Some immediately respected it, others took time, but eventually everyone got there. Everyone but my mom.

I was the "daughter" my mom prayed for, the one named after my grandparents (an issue in itself), and her "baby." She still refers to me by my old name and calls me her daughter when introducing me. Many of her friends had only known me through her. I finally got to meet some of them in person at a potluck and, of course, used my legal name when introducing myself but otherwise didn't say anything.

Eventually, my little cousin asked why they kept calling me a girl when I wasn't one. They asked what she meant, and my sister spoke up and told them I wasn't a girl and that the name they used wasn't my legal name anymore. After some more questions, she told them about me being born intersex and that I'd never been a girl.

Some of them came over to ask me, and I confirmed it. One of them asked if my mom just had special permission from me to refer to me differently. I told them she didn't, and I've made her aware for years that it makes me uncomfortable. She used to have permission to call me my birth name as long as she refered to me correctly, but she never used them and was rude, so she lost that privilege, though it never stopped her.

They asked me why she still calls me it if it's not correct and it makes me uncomfortable, so I told them the truth. She chose to call me a liar and not believe the doctors because it would mean I wasn't the daughter she wanted and prayed for. They asked me why she called me a liar, and I explained that I had questioned my gender growing up because I never felt like a girl, but my mom always told me she would only ever believe in biology and not refer to me as anything other than what I was biologically born as.

When doctors told her, without a doubt, that I was not born male or female and what was on my birth certificate was inaccurate, she said I was somehow making this all up and getting the doctors to "believe my lies," despite the fact that they never knew I questioned my gender and that they determined it off a physical exam. She demanded to "see for herself" despite me being a teenager and told me not allowing her to "inspect" was "proof of my lies."

Since then her friends are mostly upset with her, though a few are defending her. Mom is pissed at me for telling her friends, even though they're the ones who asked. Plus, I have always told her that I would not lie if someone ever asked me any questions. Mom and some others think I'm TA for this.

So to Reddit, AITA, for telling my mom's friends the truth about why she refers to me differently than everyone else?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Available_Record_553 on 2024-01-18 01:37:00+00:00.

I (21F) met up again with an old friend who we will call Lizzy (21F) and her bf who we will call Dan (M 24) to just hang out and connect again. While hanging and catching up with them they had let me known that they probably going to become homeless because the house they were in was another one of thier friends old place that they were cleaning up for and had no other place to go to. For background i had an apartment that I wasn't using at the time as I was staying with my grandmother for her health and other reasons. So I told them they could stay there for the time being until they found a place of thier own. Well a month later they move in with their two dogs who I had not known about and they were extremely skinny like I could see their bones skinny and immediately I should have made that a red flag but I didn't because they were friends. Well they stay there for the next few months and when I would come by the apartment it would be cleaned, but their room and I have noticed a rather weird smell inside the apartment. One thing to note this isn't a good place to live at the apartment complex in my small town has the name 'The Zoo' for a reason as there are a lot of shootings and even drug dealers nearby. Well when it was time for me to move out I asked them to please clean out their room and to put everything back in place. When I went to go clean my part of the apartment they've stolen a $200 bag of mine left their room in a complete mess the carpet was torn out, dog shit everywhere, blinds were torn down, I have even noticed they took my chopsticks that were gift from my great grandmother and burned them to the very end. They didn't clean it but took their stuff and nothing more. I have texted and called them and told them they need to find a way to clean the room before the lease was up and they would either ignore or they tell me they didn't have any money to lend me. Well I ended up getting the bill for the damages and surprisingly it's was over $500 but I am not able to pay for it as I make very little money cleaning homes and the money I get go straight to paying bills and getting things for my child. So I made a gofundme page and explained the situation. Well a friend of thiers saw it and sent it to them and they're now exploding my phone with messages and calls telling me to take it down and to stop making them look bad. Mind you I only told the situation not their names or who they were. I even told them I could possibly pay for 200 of it, but to no avail. So I'm I the asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/HumbleCooki3 on 2024-01-18 01:35:19+00:00.

I (29f) have been pondering about this for months now and I am unsure how to feel about this. Not sure if I should end my friendship with her or just be cordial. We've been friends for over a decade now. Gina (28f) is a kind and loyal friend. We don't fight or have issues up until now. She never attends any of my friend-gatherings. She only hangs out with me alone.

Many years ago, I asked her if I ever host important events, if she would attend. She said definitely yes.

I never hosted anything big for myself, not even my wedding (we decided to elope). So I wanted to host a baby shower. After inviting Gina, she said no to coming because she doesn't want to see this other friend, Lydia (28f) AND she has anxiety in big crowds.

Over a decade ago, Lydia told Gina that they cannot be friends anymore and Gina has been very sensitive about it and said that Lydia bullied her. I understand it wasn't nice but what Lydia said was straightforward about her issues and of course nobody's wants to be called out. Quite frankly, it didn't seem like bullying. These are just two friends who didn't get along anymore.

Lydia is well aware that Gina is coming but she didn't care. Lydia helped out so much at the shower so I was thankful she attend.

I also want to say that this baby shower is REALLY important to me. Maybe to some people, it's just a shower but this is a big milestone for us.

We had friends at the shower that didn't get along but they all attended.

I later asked Gina to reconsider because she's my best friend and I explained how I don't want to have events for my son and tell excuses that Auntie Gina can't come. She also said maybe in the future she will get better with anxiety and her situation with Lydia that she will come to my son's events. So I said why don't you start with this event? I don't think she will change. I felt like she wanted me to uninvite Lydia so she could come but I also felt like she would've use her social anxiety as an excuse as well if I told her Lydia isn't coming anymore. I just find it bizarre that she loves her sales job but has anxiety with people? In the end, I couldn't tell if she just didn't want to attend MAINLY because of Lydia or because all of our highschool friends were there. Regardless, she couldn't put her feelings aside. I even offered her to just come for a bit even if it's an hour. As long as she came to celebrate! I was trying so hard that I was hormonally depressed about this shower. Like I wasn't excited anymore. She didn't help AT ALL for this shower and I avoided talking about the planning.

Eventually she agreed to come.

I realize that these years, I've only been a convenient friend to her. Like I don't ask much from her and when I do ask for anything I feel like I'm a bother.

So AITA for asking my best friend to attend my baby shower and put her feelings aside for me?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Affectionate-Drop484 on 2024-01-18 01:34:26+00:00.

Looking for some perspective here. Personally I think I'm in the right and so does my brother but his wife got really upset.

Last week I (25F) asked my brother (28M) to have a sibling day out together. He agreed and we went shopping and to the movies. The next day his crazY wife called me really upset, saying that I shouldn't have asked him to hang out during their anniversary. I knew it was their anniversary on that day but I didn't think it was such a big deal: do those dates even really mean anything?

My brother told me he was going to make it up to her a few days later and have a date night with her, but because she was being such a bitch I decided that she didn't really deserve the date night. The day of the date night I called my brother pretending there was an emergency. He immediately came over. When he arrived at my house I told him I needed some help with moving some furniture and he agreed to help. It took a lot of time and started to cut into the promised date night.

His wife arrived at my house and started screaming at me and crying, asking me why I always deliberately ruined things for her. I pretended I didn't know what she meant which upset her even more. My brother took my side and told her to stop being overdramatic, so she threatened to take the kids and leave. I personally think she's trying to ruin my relationship with my brother and I'm just defending it, but I think anniversaries are important to her so I can see why she'd be upset. Still I don't think she should be so aggressivw. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ThrowRAnostopping on 2024-01-18 01:30:07+00:00.

My(25F) weight issue started in the latter years of high school and just never let up, just getting heavier, heavier.

On Jan. 2nd I weighed myself and found I'm 224lb, 5'5. I was devastated. He didn't console me at all, just asked what I was going to do next. I asked how he could ask a goofy question and told him that obviously I was going on a diet.

On Monday, I slipped up on the diet and had cookies and chips. I felt awful for slipping up and he claimed I wasn't serious about dieting. I told him I was, and that this was a slip up. He argued I have no real drive to lose weight. I said that I did. He argued that if I wanted to lose weight I wouldn't have eaten junk food.

He got himself worked up, sarcastically encouraged me to get fatter. I told him to stop that kind of talk. He kept going, saying he can't believe I gave up dieting in less than 2 weeks. I told him it'd just be easier on us both if he was seen, but not heard seeing as how he can't be supportive.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/UDontKnowMeButIHateU on 2024-01-18 01:26:59+00:00.

It's been a while, but some recent discussion has brought back the memories and urge to get judged for it.

I go to an university, and have one-sided beef with one guy. This guy has been giving me some attitude for judging his behavior in the past - namely, him shooing a girl from the deck in the back of class because "it was his place", so he and his girlfriend could sit there as far away from professor as possible and idk, chat. He was looking over my shoulder as I was telling about it to my mutuals on Twitter, and ever since then he has told me that "he will not speak to me anymore".

Later, a month or so ago I was going to a computer class and chatting to someone when he stopped me from claiming a desk and said that it was already claimed. I was annoyed because I wanted to sit next to the person I was chatting with and I didn't see any of his girlfriend's belongings and I also didn't see any other non-occupied desk in the room. We were going back and forth at it for a few seconds until I decided that it wasn't worth it, but he never let it go after that and has been making fun of me later.

I know that I tend to be a legit A sometimes but I wonder if I am being an A here and deserve this kind of treatment.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/zalassar on 2024-01-18 01:20:08+00:00.

I (30M) have been with my boyfriend (46M) for some months now. This year was our first Christmas together as a couple. My boyfriend, who we will call Bee, is very close to his family. His mother, who we will call Winowna, in specific. He grew up having a healthy relationship with all of his family members, who all gather together for holidays. He has a big family, with many many aunts and uncles. I on the other hand, have no family to visit during Christmas, so I usually stay home and treat myself to a movie and a nice meal. I am not used to going to big gatherings, so the topic has stressed me out. B really wants me to go, and I really do love him and he has a nice mom, but I just don’t know if I want to. In addition to this, I am also debating going to a different Christmas get-together between a couple of old friends. I used to work in a very well-known laboratory with two of my old acquaintances, whom we will call Sam (30M) and Henry (38M) for the sake of anonymity. I left the job after getting into a disagreement with S, leading to some hurtful words and actions exchanged. However, I have been invited to the Chrismtas get-together as a way to make peace. I am very convinced to go because I think it would be fun to see old co-workers. My boyfriend is put off by it because the company I used to work for was not very ethical or legal and he works in law enforcement. And also my ex, Sam, is attending. We got into an argument because I didn’t want to go with his family, and we ended up going our separate ways during Christmas. It has been almost a month since, and I am feeling very bad about it and my communication with Bee is strained. I tried apologizing and it has not seemed to work. At least I had a blast at the Christmas party. Reddit, AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/reversedempress on 2024-01-18 01:19:35+00:00.

I (21f) live with my dad, stepmom (who I’ll refer to as mom sometimes in this post), and my siblings, 26m, 10m, and sometimes 19f depending if she’s home from college. For starters, I don’t have any dietary restrictions, and I’m not particularly picky. But this issue has come up and I’m unsure if I’m being a brat.

My mom cooks dinner just about every weekday and always makes enough for everyone to have some. When she does that I always make a point to eat it whenever I’m hungry, but sometimes I’ll be craving particular things, so every now and then I’ll swing by Walmart and pick up some things I want. These things can range anywhere from salads to super spicy noodles, that kind of thing. I’m not the kind of person to be greedy; I don’t mind sharing, but some things have been happening that frustrated me to a certain extent.

An example of this being I bought two cake pops for me and my younger brother. I stuck them in the fridge and told my mom that one was for me and one was for him, and she said ok. When I came down that night to eat mine, I found them both gone. When I asked my mom, she said he had eaten both because he just assumed they were both for him. This kind of irked me, but I figured ok, it was my fault for not telling him directly. Then came the incident with the noodles I had bought. They were these super spicy, super specific types of noodles you can only get from being shipped worldwide. I bought 3 of them, and I had them in the pantry. My younger brother had seen them and asked, and I explained they were super hot and he probably wouldn’t like them since he has no tolerance for spice. I told him if he wanted to try them one day, I’ll let him take a bite of mine, but I knew he wouldn’t be able to eat a whole pack. So one day I come downstairs craving them, and the last pack is gone. When I ask, my dad said my brother wanted them and made them for him, but they were so spicy that he could only eat two bites before it was too much. Sure enough, the noodles are in the trash, and it really pissed me off. There are other examples but these are the main ones that popped into my mind.

So like 3 days ago I went to Walmart, spent quite a bit of money on stuff I wanted, like juices and teas and other things like that. When I got home I didn’t think much of it, putting stuff in the fridge. Before I went upstairs, my older brother asked if he could have some of the lemonade I just bought. I said sure, he poured himself a glass, and I went upstairs. When I came down that same night, I couldn’t find the lemonade anywhere. I asked my older brother where it went, and he said “Oh, I drank it all so I threw it away”. I don’t know why but it made me so upset, but I didn’t say anything to him. So some of the stuff I bought, like my mini gatorades and protein powder for post workouts came upstairs with me and I put it in my room.

Now my dad and mom are upset with me, saying I’m being greedy and that food was shareable in the house. But I don’t think I did anything wrong, so AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/RevolutionaryExit752 on 2024-01-18 01:19:15+00:00.

So this is gonna sound silly, and it probably is. We were at a store and the mens restroom was a single room with no stall, but just a toilet and a urinal. There is also no way to lock the door while using it. I didn't know this before going in and there was a guy taking a #2 on the toilet. I said oh sorry man, and went to the urinal to pee, because i only needed to pee and could use the open urinal. After a few seconds he said hey boss please wait until im done. I finished up and left apologizing on my way out.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Mundane-Vast-2533 on 2024-01-18 01:18:30+00:00.

A few weeks ago my daughter Christina (F21) brought home a new boyfriend named Johnny (roughly Christina's age) and suffice to say I don't like the guy one bit. He looks, acts and talks like a stereotypical rapper, so right there he's a polar opposite to Christina. Additionally, he was extremely rude throughout our dinner, as he didn't shake hands with anyone, referred to Christina as a "bad bitch" at the dinner table, called our younger son "Doogie" and was texting for a lot of the meal. He also mentioned that he's gonna take Christina to Mexico "once he's off probation," which reinforced the idea that he's bad news. Overall, there's no two ways around it: he's a thug, and an arrogant one at that.

After we finished our meal, my wife and I pulled Christina aside to talk about Johnny. I told her that it was her life and I have no interest in telling her who she can and can't date, so if she wants to stay with Johnny that's her prerogative. However, I told her that Johnny wouldn't be allowed in our home going forward. Christina then stormed off in a huff and hasn't talked to us since.

Oh, and by the way, Johnny's white like us. This isn't a racial issue.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Automatic_Housing_86 on 2024-01-18 01:18:28+00:00.

I(19F) am chilling in the living room, and my mom started to take off her shirt. I told her to put that shit away because it's disgusting. Then she was said, "when you were a baby, you were obsessed with suckling on my boobies."(She has a weird ass humor). So, I retorted, with aggressive sarcasm, "I don't care, put your saggy grandma nips away". Now she's mad at me, saying I didn't need to go far like that and insult her body.

** Edit: Because these are asked in the comments frequently enough, I'll just put it here so their isn't confusion: She was wearing no bra + was going to stay like that to chill. I vaguely went over it in the post, but yeah, I did ask her to put it away first, like, "What the heck! I'm in here, put that away!" And she joked for a bit, saying she won't, then I joked by being rude. I can't wait for all your replies <3 Tell me if I went too far!

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/RaisinLong5778 on 2024-01-18 01:18:24+00:00.

Hi..quick background and some context. Me and my friend have been growing closer over the last 2 years I 33f told her I had a crush on her 41f that's how our friendship blossomed. Over the years things have happened we kiss we cuddle and sometimes have got a little more intimate I trust her with my life. Only thing is she is straight or so she says. I am gay . I have never forced anything at all I respect her and I'm not that sort of person. It's her who first kissed me and continued to do so. She has this best friend of 20+ years they're close they both say they are straight and just friends. Out of curiosity and wanting to know why she kisses me if she is curious or a closest gay or something I asked if she had done this before with her best friend she said no and I said really and also said I knew I was risking our friendship by asking a personal question but she's always said I can ask anything we've both asked personal questions before and since I've asked she's completely ignored me said I'm too curious and said If I knew it was risking the friendship why ask. I explained why and I've heard nothing am I the A hole for asking? My heart hurts 💔

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Lilith_in_hell69 on 2024-01-18 01:11:01+00:00.

I (31f) and my brother (30m) got into a fight the other day. I have been going to Anime conventions since i was 16, while he had made fun of me and bullied me about it. Ten years ago I started a business where I sell Japanese fabric flowers called Kanzashi. These pieces take hours to make and are painstaking to do but are absolutely gorgeous and I am always sop proud and happy when I make them and sell them. I dont do much in my life but the Cons are what i look forward to each year.Well my brother recently started going mostly because his ex convinced him to go once. and he liked it. This was about 5 years back. By then i was already established in the Con artist alley and knew the ins and outs.

I have a Ball jointed Doll, a BJD that I use as my card holder to attract business, she has a beautiful face and I decorate her hair with the Kanzashi. Many people complimented her and offered to buy her.Well my brother heard how much some offers were, $200-$400. These dolls, if you know are not cheap and are customizable where you can replace the head, hair, eyes, and so much more. I had spent years researching and saving for one because I loved the look.

Well, recently my brother messaged me asking what they were called. I told him BJD and asked curiously why. He said he was gonna resell them at the cons, to buy low and sell high. I told him he should really talk to me before doing that because there is so much that goes into them and the market is super toxic with the buyer/sellers and that he needed to know his stuff because if not collectors will not buy from him.I asked him a few basic questions such as Do you know the difference in size? Do you know what an OOKA is? Are you able to trace the brand and artist? Can you tell a recast from an original? ect. He told me he could learn and that i shouldnt worry.

Well if he did his research, these dolls dont often go for resale cheap. If they are 99.99% of the time they are recasts, basically a knockoff or counterfeit. If you frequent cons, you know that selling counterfeit stuff is not okay and can get you in big trouble. I had seen people be blacklisted and even had police called on them for it as bootleg merch is illegal.I tried to warn him about that, explain i can help him know what he is buying and I wasnt even asking for anything in return. He told me he was just gonna say he was selling ball jointed dolls but i told him he needed to know what he was selling because people will ask.

He got upset with me, saying he didnt have to. texting me "OMFG they arent fake just drop it god damn i'll worry about me you worry about you"Im not only trying to look out for him because if he is selling recasts it is considered art theft and is extremely frowned upon in the art community and at cons, to possibly keep him off the blacklist and out of jail but also protect the cons and potential legit BJD sellers in the future. *Continued in comments*

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ApartAddition8874 on 2024-01-18 01:09:18+00:00.

so I (21 F) am In a DND campaign with six other people. There is this one character, let's just call Lisa for now. Every single scene is about Lisa, even if Lisa isn't even there. Two characters on the other side of town talking to an NPC? Lisa is there now. Trying to have a character moment with one other person? too bad, Lisa time. If Lisa was just trying to participate more then I wouldn't be so annoyed, but she believes that everything she says is bad-ass, when it's always very cringe, in a try-hard kind of way.

Lisa (as a character) is also really snide and thinks she's the most important person in the room, the self-appointed main character. Again if it was just someone wanting to participate I wouldn't care but it's a rude, self-obsessed cringe, edge lord.

So in the last session, me and two others were sneaking out of a place we nearly got killed in after trying to get some loot (loot that Lisa begged for), and when we didn't get it she got annoyed at us (in character). This pissed me off, and for the rest of the session tension was pretty high not just with me but with other people in the group, we all had the same kind of feeling.

At the end of the session, her player asked if I was angry at her. I told her I like her, I just don't like how her character acts. The next day she DMed the DM and told them that I was bullying her. Sometimes I get the tone wrong so maybe I said it a weird way but I don't think what I said itself was that bad. Am I the asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Individual-Lychee-10 on 2024-01-18 01:08:31+00:00.

So, I wanted to use a throwaway account for this post.

I (27f) made a lot of mistakes when I was younger and at 16, I had a baby daughter. Her father was a lot older and a very bad guy, and was sent away to prison before she had been born. We of course have no contact today. I'm ashamed of my past, and do everything in my power to better myself and provide for my daughter. For example I missed out on my GED when I was younger, so I studied to achieve it later in life and I'm currently part time at college while working.

My daughter is 11, healthy and flourishing in school and I couldn't be prouder of her. Six years ago I met my current husband (27m) and he's just a wonderful human being. He's been nothing but supportive to me and an amazing person to be around my daughter, so much so that after we married two years ago, he formally adopted my daughter.

The only problem is his mom. She's very conservative, being a born again Christian, and the interactions we've had together have never been good. I've always been very aware she dislikes me as a result of my past and didnt want my husband to marry me or adopt my girl, but on both sides we were able to be civil enough, to a degree that I imagined she'd just accepted it. My husband doesn't have the best relationship with her either but tries his best, and I've always supported him though that. Even so, I dislike her and I know she hates me.

Recently though, she said something really awful. It was during a family meal - she came over with her husband (my husband's stepfather) and we ate alongside my daughter. My MIL kept staring at my daughter to such an extent that she was visibly uncomfortable. I asked her politely why she kept looking at her like that, to which my MIL coldly asked if she looked anything like her father, and whether we could compare her face to his mugshot.

Needless to say I was floored, my husband was furious and my daughter actually cried, which made me start bawling too. My MIL smirked and just left with her husband, and from then my husband and I refused her access to our home.

This was a month ago. A few family members have started admonishing us for keeping her away as long as we have. My reply is that she hasn't apologised and so we don't want her back, but they're saying we're being cruel and not being understanding of "her moral values". She's apparently said she's sorry about what happened, but crucially she hasn't said that to me.

Am I being a major AH? Or am I within my rights here?

EDIT: I forgot to mention that my MIL has since been badmouthing me to the rest of the family (even more than she did before). She still has not said sorry to me though.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Fun-Ad1135 on 2024-01-18 01:07:23+00:00.

I (23f) still live with my father (61m) because I am disabled and cannot work enough to sustain myself on my own. Currently I am trying to escape him because of the emotional abuse he puts me through. He holds money and gifts over my head, he constantly makes me feel stupid and worthless with the things he says, he denies I even have a disability despite having multiple diagnosis, he denies me basic hygiene products and much more I. Right now, I am trying to sell my car which is still in his name because it is one of the Hyundai models that is easily stolen from that stupid TikTok trend. I don’t have money saved up for one because I just started a new job. I figured it wouldn’t be a big deal to help me considering my father is well off and can afford it. He also gave my brother $4k for a car he wanted and it’s not my fault my car is easily stolen but he has already stated he will not put a single cent towards a new car and that I am fully responsible for finding and purchasing a new car. I tried to ask him to help with even just licensing and registration fees and he refused and called me a spoiled brat for demanding his help. I’m losing sleep stressing over this car getting stolen again especially if I take it to my new place and it gets stolen in the middle of nowhere. I need to leave this house asap. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/New_Age_3527 on 2024-01-17 20:52:46+00:00.

My 2 year old son and I were sitting while we were waiting to board the plane and a woman probably in her 50s or 60ss came over and asked if I’d sit him on my lap and she could have the seat. I just said no sorry he’s happy where he is. She got mad and then just stood around looking mad and sighing until a man gave her his seat.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/DaydreamDIVA on 2024-01-17 20:03:39+00:00.

I (24F) have a Chanel purse that was a gift from my parents when I graduated college. It's by far the most expensive thing I own.

My brother recently got married, and his new wife Amy asked if she could borrow my Chanel purse for their wedding day photos and reception. Amy doesn't own any designer bags and really wanted one to complete her wedding look.

I politely declined to lend her my purse. That purse is extremely valuable to me, and the thought of something happening to it makes me anxious. Amy called me selfish and materialistic for not lending it to her for the wedding. She said I was more concerned about a status symbol than helping family.

My parents and brother also got upset with me, saying I should be willing to share my things with family. But I don't think I should have to hand over my most prized possession just because it's for a wedding. Now the whole family is angry with me.

AITA for not lending my sister-in-law my expensive designer purse for her wedding? She's acting like I ruined her big day over this, but I think it was an unreasonable request.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Own-Plant473 on 2024-01-17 18:44:49+00:00.

I 24F am married to my husband 28M and we have 1 daughter together 4F (Alaia). We both work a lot and I also work from home often. I needed cleaning so last week I called an agency and they send a girl over to clean the house and we agreed on 40USD an hour. (let's call her Eva). So Eva who is around 19/20 years arrives at my house with her little sister 8F. I asked her why her little sister was here and she said she had no one else to leave her with. I wasn't very pleased but assumed she didn't have a choice and didn't say anything. I showed Eva the play room of my daughter and said it was to be cleaned as well and her sister started staring around the room touching all the toys. I again didn't say anything. Eva started working and I went to my room to get ready to pick up a cake for Alaia and to pick Alaia from school.

I heard a noise in Alaia's playroom so I rushed over and saw Eva's sister playing in the room and she broke a glass bowl that I had custom made for Alaia when she was born. At this point I was annoyed but again I held myself and told Eva to clean it and keep an eye on her sister. I went out picked up Alaia's favorite cake with strawberries. It was a cake that had strawberries on only one side on the top and on that same side there were more decorations etc. I put it in the fridge and left again to pick up Alaia. When we walked in the kitchen I saw Eva's sister eating a big piece of the cake and exactly the part with the strawberries and more decorations. I have never had an issue like this before in fact the cleaning ladies never open my fridge or anything cause they have no business there. I asked Eva what she thought she was doing and she told me "My sister was sad and really wanted cake so I figured she could have a piece".

Alaia started crying because she had been looking forward to her cake with strawberries and now the piece with strawberries were gone. I told Eva that it is not her place to figure whether her sister could eat something from my fridge without asking me. She could have waited for me to get back because I told her I would be back. I told her that even if she did do this she should have not taken the whole decorated piece because she could've also figured that this cake was meant for my daughter. Eva said that "You are getting mad for no reason just take the money from my pay". I told her she could pack her stuff and leave with her sister and she didn't have to finish the house cleaning. She had been at the house for only 2 hours but I payed her 120USD and told her to get out. So I told a friend and she told me that I overreacted over a piece of cake and I should have understood the little girl. I again said that it is not just cake but it is rude to open my fridge and take out a cake that is not unboxed yet and eat it. I am wondering now AITA?

Edit: Eva was supposed to be there for 3 hrs and I send her away after 2 but paid her 3hrs

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Adventurous-One-8593 on 2024-01-17 15:38:53+00:00.

This has been a built up issue, my son got married this weekend and this issue isn’t dying so I am going here. My daughter has very bad anxiety, she is 19 and I will call her Shelly. Shelly used to go to therapy when she was a minor but stopped when she turned 18. Ever since the her anxiety has been out of control, and due to this she won’t drive anymore.

She has a license but refuses to drive. We live in the USA and driving is basically needed or it’s a big inconvenience for the people around her. Also she is an adult so it not like we can force her to drive.

This is the issue, my son was getting married and she was uncomfortable with so many people around at his wedding. She asked me to take her home, I told her no and if she having difficulties wait in the car. She told me it’s freezing outside and she needs to leave. I told her no again turn on the heat in the car and wait if she needs to be away from people.

She don’t like this answer and told me she will have an attack if she stays and she needs to go home. I told her to take an Uber than I am not leaving. She don’t like this and this was turning into a full argument. Shelly told me I need take her home again and I had enough.

I told Shelly she is being selfish, that she has many opinions and I will not deprive her bother (my son) of his parents being at his weddings. If I took her home I would miss his wedding since it was a hour drive here. She called me a jerk and left to stay in the car for a bit. She was back about an hour later for the rest of the wedding.

She has been pissed since and her younger brother is copying her

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/eastskiier8725 on 2024-01-17 15:20:07+00:00.

My partner (33M) and myself (26M) both work in education. Yesterday, my school called a snow day and his did not. He is terrified of driving in the snow after he got in an accident a few years ago during a snow storm. I completely understand why is he afraid, though while I drive in bad weather he often raises his voice at me and panics (he does note that this is not my fault and he is dealing with trauma from the accident).

I drove him to school yesterday so he would not have to drive in not great conditions. The ride there was fine, it is a long drive (50 minutes both ways, about an hour and a half both ways with the snow). I spent the majority of yesterday driving or at the hospital, spending time with my father who recently suffered two heart attacks and is waiting on a cardiac cath. I went back to pick my partner up from work yesterday early evening, which he was very grateful for. On the way back, my sister called to update us on the procedure (it did not end up happening, she was calling to update us that it would happen tomorrow). When the phone rang he said “Love her, but not right now”, this was after I asked him to call her and check in about 20 minutes into the drive, which he said no to, wanting to wait till we were in a better area. I am a very safe driver, and was staying very far away from all other cars, and going well under the speed limit. I responded that it could be about my dad, so he said he would pick up. He did, and I talked to her on speaker about what was going on.

After we hung up, he was frustrated that I took the call. He said that I have a life too and need to put my safety first. Mind you, he called me earlier that day while I was driving in the snow, checking in on the day and about me picking him up. I was very quiet after he said this. My mom passed away a year and a half ago suddenly, and I have fears about unexpected death in the family, I see no issue with picking up the phone. He also noted being concerned that the conversation could have been emotionally evocative which could have caused me to not pay attention to the road.

He said he understood why his perspective wouldn't be taken into account but wished I had waited to pick up the call. Things were tense the rest of the night.

AITA?

EDIT: Y'all, I am very mentally stable. I was the one dealing with paramedics while my mom died in front of me, contacted all my siblings, etc. Also, I have driven in the snow for ten years now. If there were bad news, I am fairly certain I could have pulled over to process it.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Kjslevinsky on 2024-01-17 14:30:16+00:00.

We were watching TV and both picking and or cleaning our teeth. As the evening ended and I was generally cleaning the area, I asked my husband to throw out his own dental pick which he had discarded on the coffee table. He got furious. I was polite. I took it in my hands and said something like could you at least throw this one out? He got furious. He is now not talking to me. For background : he leaves the used unbroken ones laying about, in cups, by the sink, by the bath. I never know which ones to throw out and which ones to keep but this one was broken so There was no need to ‘keep it. AITA for bringing that to his attention ?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/cinnabon-luvr444 on 2024-01-17 14:16:47+00:00.

Before I explain why I could be the asshole, I just want to say that I am not quite sure if I am able to post this here as it is kind of about a relationship, and I am apologising to the mods in advance.

On Tuesday night my (17f) boyfriend “E” (19m) were staying at a holiday park, and we had had a very stressful day (he was kicked out of his house and we had to pack up all of his things) he wanted to drink alcohol to have some fun, as we weren’t sure when we were going to see each other next. Everything was fine until his friend (19m) and his girlfriend “S” (19f) wanted to hang out. I was already drunk at this point, and E told me we had to go out and meet them. E then said we were going for a drive with them, and we got in the car. Before I even had a chance to put a seatbelt on, S started speeding off. I tried to find a seatbelt to put on as I felt unsafe, and I realised there were none. I tried to tell E that I wanted to get out but he was brushing me off. I then texted my best friend (18f) saying that I was really scared and to please call me. After about 3 minutes of being in the car, she called me and I asked S to please pull over so I can answer my friend as it was an “emergency”. She pulled over, and I stepped out of the car and shut the door and my back was towards the car and I walked closer to the fence next to the footpath so they wouldn’t hear me. I hear a squealing sound and I turn around and the car had disappeared around the corner. I tell my friend and I start bawling my eyes out and I explain everything to her. She lives about 2 hours away from me, so she wouldn’t of been able to get me. She tries to contact some of my friends in the area and is unsuccessful and she stays on the phone with me for about half an hour before calling the police as I was in a very dodgy part of our town and she was worried about me. This is where I may be the AH. I was freaking out and I texted him a bunch of times asking if we were breaking up, why he didn’t wait for me etc, and I ended up calling him about 15 times. He didn’t reply to any of those so when the police came and got me I started talking about all of the illegal things E does/did to try and get back at him. E and his friends think I am in the wrong for doing that, but my friends think that it was fair as he left me on the side of the road in a dodgy part of town. I’m conflicted now because I feel bad for telling the police things he told me in confidence, but all of my friends who are obviously biased say I am not the AH. So AITA?