Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/taylorswiftskneecap on 2024-01-14 21:38:50+00:00.

Keeping it short. I (16f) share a room & bathroom with my stepsister (17f). Im currently rearranging my side, basically taking down my dresser to make room for a desk, and deep cleaning my side. In the past I’ve tried cleaning her side but she always gets mad Im touching her stuff. The issue is her side is quite gross, there’s towels and dirty clothes all in a pile, and so much stuff under her bed. Mind you our room isn’t all that big. I’m not gonna move ANYTHING of hers, I just want to wash the towels and clothes on the floor and put them on her bed. I also need to vacuum and her stuff is in the way. She’s at her Moms now and every time she comes she saids she’ll clean it but never does. So wibta if I cleaned her side?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/sadiesteele99 on 2024-01-14 21:36:20+00:00.

I am a 24y/o F. My three closest friends that I have been close with since high school all live together with one other girl my one friend met in college. I am saving to move out but I still do get jealous that they are all living together and making all these memories without me there. I recognize this isn’t their fault and moreso just how I feel.

Butt. My one friend told me they were going on a “roomate bonding” trip this month with the four of them. Apparently it was the roomate im not as close with idea. I immeditely got hurt & felt left out. My first thoughts were you live together and see eachother so much, why would me being there get in the way of any bonding. I thought maybe they assumed I couldn’t afford it (which I feel like should never be assumed and up to the person to decide whether or not they can make it work financially.)

I almost wish they would want to take a bonding trip with me since they dont see me as much and they know how I feel (sad) about not seeing them as much/living with them. AITA for feeling this way/if i were to say anything to them?

PS: We talked about going to the place their vacationing at this time last year as a group. I also know people grow up and have their own lives but being left out of something your closest friends are doing together hurts.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/eliotfloss on 2024-01-14 21:32:35+00:00.

AITA

My husband (29M) and I (28M) went to our usual gym for a leg/back day. We started off using some leg machines while keeping an eye on the Smith machine, which we usually use for squats and sometimes hip thrusts. The Smith was free so we moved there next. We did a couple of sets of squats and a young woman came over and asked how many sets we had left. I said three (as we planned to do hip thrusts)

She frowned and said she had actually been using the machine earlier and had left her water bottle there (an empty plastic supermarket one left next to the wall). I thought that was unreasonable but was willing to give her the benefit of the doubt so suggested we do one more set each and then we’d leave. She agreed. My husband (non-native English speaker) then asked if she wanted to just work in with us instead and she said ‘What?’, ‘What?’ rudely several times and that she didn’t understand him, even though he asked perfectly clearly. I told her don’t worry about, we’ll just do a set each and she can take it. She left and went to another area of the gym.

We finished one more set and my husband was annoyed at me for offering her the machine as she hadn’t been there for at least 20 minutes before we started but was trying to reclaim it. I said she seemed aggressive and we could do our other exercises elsewhere no problem.

We went to the squat racks opposite the Smith to do some deadlifts, leaving it free for her. Usually I tell people who have been waiting when we’re done, but as she had been quite rude in her manner, I didn’t feel like it and felt it was up to her to monitor the availability of the machine.

She didn’t come back and three teenage girls took the Smith. She came back 3 or so minutes later and started raising her voice at the girls that she had been trying to use the Smith ‘but a pair of fucking idiots had taken it from her’.

I go over at this point and say ‘Excuse me, are you talking about us? We finished one set and left the machine free for you.’

She complained I hadn’t come over to tell her or told the three teenagers not to use it. I calmly told her I wasn’t her gym servant and it was up to her to find and occupy machines. She then screamed at me that I was fucking bitch and that we had taken ‘her machine’ and that I was trying to intimidate her with ‘my man’. Husband was standing to the side cringing but not saying anything to her. I said it’s not your machine, it’s the gym’s. She called me a crazy bitch and said I should be embarrassed. I said ‘No, you should be’ and walked away. She then left the Smith machine (again!), came back with a friend and sat on the bench (occupying the machine) for at least 45 minutes, trash talking me for most of that time. She criticised my skin and kept repeating that my husband didn’t even speak English.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Fairyblossom2 on 2024-01-14 21:30:15+00:00.

I know how stupid this might seem but I feel like I’m so deep into this relationship that I can’t see what’s right and wrong.

I (33f)have been with my boyfriend (39m) for 10 years.

I planned a holiday for his big birthday coming up. I asked him first if he’d be ok with me surprising him with a holiday because he hates surprises and he was up for it. We hadn’t had a holiday in years so I thought it would be good for us.

A couple of days ago I showed him an itinerary because I’d been planning things for whilst we’re there. This is in response to him stating he doesn’t like just hanging by the pool all day. He blew up at me and said he hates holidays and wanted me to cancel and that the only reason I booked it was for myself and nothing to do with him and that I’d be ‘dragging him around’ this country with other tourists and it’s his idea of hell. I was hurt. We’ve been on similar holidays before so I’m really confused. Yes I’d also love to go on holiday too because I think it would be nice to experience a different country together and have some fun.

He called me every name under the sun and said I was selfish and this is all for me. I don’t know if this is because I was showing I was excited for this trip. Nothing I’d booked was for me, it was for us. I’d specifically chosen activities I know he enjoys and a place he said he wanted to go. He was shouting and I was crying and he told me he can’t speak to me when I’m emotional so I ended up sleeping in the spare room.

It was a place he said he has always wanted to go and I’d been planning it for months. I really thought he’d be excited about it so I’m in shock.

I have to cancel now but I will lose the cost of the holiday because it’s short notice which is a lot for me. I make much less than him and have been saving for this for months. For reference he makes 5 x what I earn. First I thought it was because I’d spent money but our finances are separate and we pay everything 50/50.

He hasn’t spoken to me since, ignored my messages, completely blanked me in the house. It’s like I’m living with a ghost. This is normal behaviour for him, if he’s upset with me he ignores me and pretends I don’t exist. But I don’t know how he can be upset with this? I feel like I’m missing something, have I done something wrong?

My self esteem is rock bottom I feel like an idiot for booking this and feel like nothing I do is good enough and every decision I make is the wrong one. I normally just plod along and we get over it, but this has really got to me as I don’t understand how he can be angry towards me for trying to make his birthday special. So am I selfish for booking this holiday because I was excited to go on it too?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Comfortable_Hat7 on 2024-01-14 21:30:09+00:00.

Hey Reddit, I need your perspective on a recent situation in my shared flat. I live with my flatmate, and her long-distance boyfriend was visiting for over a week. Here's the story:

My flatmate's boyfriend had been in town for a while, and it was the last day of his visit. During the visit I gave them a lot of space, hanging out at friends places, visiting my parents, ....

I recently started dating someone and wanted to invite them over to my place for a netflix and chill in my room. My intentions were purely to spend time with my date and have a good time.

However, I later was told that it was the last day of my flatmate's boyfriend's visit, I didn't think it was a big deal since I wasn't directly involving them, nor the common spaces. However my flatmate did think different about it and asked me not to have my date spend the night in my room, I told her that I have needs as well. So in the end me and my date spend the evening in a nice bar,

BUT 2 days later my flat mate brought it up again and called me EGOISTIC because i dared to invite a date over at our shared appartment the last evening and dared to talk about my own needs.

So, Reddit, AITA for wanting to invite my date over on the last day of my flatmate's long-distance boyfriend's visit? I'm genuinely torn about whether I should have been more considerate or if it's a non-issue. Let me know your thoughts!

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Lonely-Pattern-8692 on 2024-01-14 21:29:42+00:00.

I (16 F) have been friends with this girl named Raven (15 F). We’ve been best friends for months and she was so nice and always supported me. We had a good friendship until last week. Apparently, she met this dude on roblox (I don’t know his age) and after 1 day of talking they suddenly got together. I thought it was weird at first but I was like “You do you” however I didn’t know her BF was toxic. You see, me and Raven met over a roblox game called “Rouge Demons” (Based off the anime Demon Slayer) and that’s where it all started. So one day I see her online and I decide to join her to make small talk as we usually do. So I did just that but for some reason she wasn’t acting like how she used to. Then the person on her account was apparently her BF. Now I was confused but didn’t care until he started harassing me about fighting against him in a duel. But I was having some camera issues so I couldn’t. Then he started insulting me like there was no tomorrow. Calling me from lame all the way to calling me all the slurs you can think of. I was appalled and left the game. Later on, one of my friends (that’s also friends with Raven) messaged me about how her BF didn’t mean it. But the thing is, why didn’t Raven talk to me over DMs? She should be able to apologize herself for her BF’s action. Then while I was saying how she “didn’t know what her BF did” until after I vented to my friend about it. The she “scolded him” even though she did not. And for some reason HER BF GOT MAD AT HER FOR AND THEN SHE BLAMED ME AFTER BECAUSE “She won’t end up with a BF” ?? LIKE How is it my fault that your BF is a piece of crap to your partner’s friends?? She said she took my side but then just immediately started blaming me.

I feel like I overreacted a lot, but the thing is, why are you letting your BF treat your friends (especially someone who lost several friends over defending you) so badly and not even try to apologize? AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ineedanswers70 on 2024-01-14 21:27:18+00:00.

My parents are currently writing up their will, with beneficiaries and power of attorney. They are giving me POA and although they have outlined a few scenarios, it is impossible to cover all bases. I was chosen for my trust and logic. I have 2 other siblings, one who cannot be trusted with money of any kind and another who lives abroad.

The will is pretty simple. Everything is split 3 ways, between us 3 siblings. If any of us die, that money is split evenly for their children. They would like them to not have access until they are 25 but this isn't clarified (excluding some for living expenses, important purchases like a reasonably priced car, education and a home). Any other decisions or scenarios are solely mine to decide and agree or disagree with what can or cannot happen.

E.g. one of my siblings has a on and off problem with drugs. If it is deemed an issue, their money can be held back until they are back on their feet. Again, this is not clarified.

Our family relationships are very strained and I do not want to suffer the backlash of these decisions following the loss of one or both of them. My parents weren't happy when I asked for this but I had to insist.

AITA

TL;DR my parent wrote a will and are allowing me to make decisions on money/assets. I want them to disclose this so it isn't a surprise when it happens. Aita

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Majestic_Fun_230 on 2024-01-14 21:22:02+00:00.

My boyfriend (25m) and I (23f) have been together for 2 years. Last year, he gave me a Kitchenaid stand mixer for Christmas as I cook and bake regularly. He sometimes makes little passive aggressive comments about how I don’t use it enough or how he can’t afford to get me something that expensive very often. Before this past Christmas I told him to please just get me something small and romantic. I told him I didn’t want him to spend a lot of money, I just wanted a thoughtful surprise. He’s never given me anything that I didn’t help pick, while I pride myself on finding good gifts.

Last fall I mentioned that I would very very hypothetically like new skis at some point. Mid December we were at REI and he started asking me questions about skis and I clued in pretty fast and told him not to get me skis as they’re too expensive. I also jokingly told him he’d already ruined the surprise and he had to pick something else. I hoped he’d take a hint but I kept it light because I didn’t want him to feel bad.

Christmas came and he got me skis and bindings totaling almost $1000. He told me the price proudly, like he didn’t do exactly what I asked him not to do. We don’t have much disposable income, and BF is constantly stressing about money. I was really disappointed in the gift but I hid it.

Then a week later we were arguing about other financial worries and I snapped. I told him he should return the skis. I don’t ski as often as I used to, I have skis already, it’s barely been snowing. I don’t want to feel guilty if I don’t use them enough. I told him I love and value the effort he put in, though. He was understandably upset. I didn’t return them, but it’s come up a couple more times and the more I think about it the less I want the skis. They’ve just been sitting in our spare room and I feel sick every time I go in there. I’d rather he put the money towards all the other things he’s constantly telling me he needs money for and try again next time. I tried to explain my feelings to BF again last night but he just doesn’t get it and it turned into an argument. I told him it’s my Christmas present and I don’t understand why he wants me to keep it if I don’t want to, which I regret saying. When we cooled down, I told him gently that I’m sorry but I’m done talking about this. AITA for telling him how I feel?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Routine_Primary_276 on 2024-01-14 21:16:41+00:00.

I have 2 sons (James 36 and Nick 25). Nick is newly married (they got married a year ago) while James has been married for 3 years.

Every year on my birthday we go on a 2 day hiking trip because I’m a single mom and we love to hike.

After James got married I did invite his wife (who I love very much we are very close) but she didn’t want to come because she didn’t want to disturb the family tradition.

I don’t like Nicks wife at all. She is much to old for him (she is 40) she is rude to both me and James. She has no manners especially with hygiene ( she doesn’t flush or offer to help with dishes or anything ). She doesn’t work and is free loading of my son and is overworking him because she doesn’t at least take care of the house or meals. And they were dating for 6 months before they got together. And especially after marriage he seems to have gotten even more quiet and meek.

My son nick has self esteem issues and he is not conventionally attractive so I think that’s why he stays with her. I can’t force him to therapy to help him.

Now my birthday is in 2 weeks so I called nick to discuss the plan. It’s 3 days 2 nights of camping and on the 3rd day we come back home. Nicks wife wants to join, and I said absolutely not. It’s my birthday and I don’t want anyone I don’t like at it. Also my sons live far away and it’s one of the only times we can bond nowadays. Just some time with my boys just like when we were younger.

Nicks wife said if I’m not coming he’s not coming. Nick said I was being rude to his wife and I’m disrespecting his relationship.

James thinks i should bite my lip and let her come because we are family but i disagree.

Edit totally forgot to add this because i typed this fast cuz I was desperate for opinions but I would let her come but she wants to change the location because she’s overweight and doesn’t want to hike and it should only be a day and so many other stuff that takes away from the experience and my birthday.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/feelsbadman0027 on 2024-01-14 21:10:18+00:00.

So me and my girlfriend have been together for just over 5 months and it’s already been rocky between us. Before we even got together, she was supposed to be going on holiday with my brother and their friend group (my girlfriend is part of this group) but decided she didn’t want to because she said she wouldn’t like it, mind you this is still before we got together.

So now we’re getting slightly closer to the date where they were going on holiday, which is around July 1st and my mum wants me to go with them as well, except now my girlfriend isn’t going and she doesn’t like these friends that she was supposed to be going with. She’s been crying and begging me not to go because we’ll miss out on time with each other in the summer (she’s also going on holiday for 2 weeks in august).

She’s also telling me she doesn’t want me to go because I’m choosing her ex-friends over her, which Id completely understand if I was going with them without my brother, but my brother is planning this whole trip with help from my mum and why wouldn’t I want to spend a holiday with my brother??? Also we’re staying at my grandmothers house and she’s very old and she tells my mum that she misses us all very much so I would not miss out on seeing her as well.

WIBTA if I went on holiday when my girlfriend doesn’t want me to?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/scribblesndots on 2024-01-14 21:09:39+00:00.

So i have a friend, Elsa (Fake name). Who started attending the same HS as me in November. She showed up to class one day and i thought i would say Hi. We quickly became friends, and i introduced her to my group. I even had her over at my house sometimes. I quickly realised though, that we didn't really like the same stuff. For subject of choice, i picked music/performance. She ended up choosing that too, even though she had previously gone, Nature. I thought nothing of it, until she started doing exactly what i did. I don't usually bring lunch ( can't really eat Lunch ). But she "used" to. Not anymore. If i ask why she's not eating, she says "not hungry". That is what i usually say, bc it's true. If i cut my hair, she would. If i hated something, she did too. I started getting a bit irritated, when i was just tired, she'd constantly ask, are you okay? you look a bit sick. And i simply told her, no i am just tired. but she kept on asking (i get that she was worried). she would constantly, turn to look at my laptop or phone or anything, and i'd just pull it in my direction, and she would scoff. when we hang out with our other friends ( the ones i had before i met her) she just stands there on her phone. When we hang, sometimes she just walks away. But the last straw, was when i told her i was starting to collect perfumes, because i really like them. She started telling my friends and other people, that she was collecting perfumes. I really need help here

AITA For Wanting To "kick" a "Friend" out of the group?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Altruistic-Buddy6313 on 2024-01-14 21:04:18+00:00.

Me (16M) and my friend (16M) are juniors in high school. We just finished our first week since winter break, and on Thursday of this week we thought we should go down the street to our local shopping complex to get some food. On our way there, however, we noticed that the car in front of us seemed a bit familiar. We then realized it was the same car which two girls from our school were riding in. We have a complicated history with these two girls.

The driver, who is named Carmen, had a crush on one of our friends. Carmen is unfortunately attractively challenged, if you know what I mean, and our friend she had a crush on is pretty handsome. So we kind of trolled her for a few months sophomore year, making her think she had a chance, things like that. Her friend, named Michelle, wasn’t really involved in it but we went to grade school together so it was pretty fun to troll her too.

Anyway, when we realized it was them, we decided to have a little fun with it and when we were behind her at a red light, we honked at them as soon as the light turned green. We parked right in front of them too. We went to get our own food and after a while we went back to our car. My friend had to pick his sister up soon so we decided to just wait a little to see if they would come back. Literally 2 minutes later they came back to their car and we saw that they had some random guy riding in the back. We thought to ourselves, why not have a little more fun, we have time anyway. We then decided to follow them as they turned to a different street while we played rap music to make sure they heard it.

We were right behind them and we changed lanes whenever they did too. When we got too far from our school we just decided to speed right past them and cut them off. My friend drives pretty well so I knew nothing would happen. They apparently knew it was us and are very frustrated. But the thing is that we could just say we were just driving and it happened to be a coincidence, they don’t have any proof to say otherwise.

Also, we never planned to follow them, we were just going the same way and they got back in their car right after we got back in ours after we ate our food, almost as if they were watching us or something. I found out that the guy was Carmen’s brother, so hopefully he knows as a guy we were just driving. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Important_Time_7373 on 2024-01-14 21:02:20+00:00.

I (f21) have three older brothers. My brother (m32) is married. His wife is 30

Both of our parents are lawyers, mom was still working full time when my brothers were born/ they were little. Then they had me and my mom (who always wanted a girl) decided to switch to SAHM and later on she started working part time when I started school. I think I was a little bit more "sheltered" than my brothers, but I think that's just because I'm a girl and not because our parents love me more? I've seen it with my friends' parents as well.

I am also married and I'm a SAHM too, my husband and I have a four month old baby boy.

Well, now the conflict. This happened last week at my nephew's birthday party. At one point, I asked everyone if they minded if I nursed my baby there or if I could go to one of the bedrooms to do it. Everyone was fine with it, so I just followed through and we continued talking. I'm only breastfeeding my son, I don't pump milk or give him formula.

My sister in law asked me about it, I told her that I just prefer to do it like this, my son's pediatrician says that he's healthy and doesn't need formula, so I like breastfeeding.

Well, my SIL thought that it was "very offensive" how I said that I liked it because it sounded as if I don't understand my privilege for being able to do it. She said "of course you like it because you don't do anything else all day than have your kid in your arms and breast". I feel like that came out of nowhere honestly and I asked her why she was saying that. She told me that she's tired of hearing me talk about how wonderful motherhood is because I'm just a glorified housewife and I talk like being a mother is the easiest thing in the world, just because I don't work and I don't do most of the house work.

I told her that every time I talk about motherhood, I do it from my perspective. It's not my fault that other women don't enjoy it as much as I do, I am giving my opinion and that's all.

Well, then she started calling me out on my "privileges" and said that I'm just a "silly girl who doesn't understand the world". I got angry and replied to her, so on top of what my SIL was saying, my brother started telling me to stop with that spoiled brat attitude and that I need to face the real world and he insisted on how privileged and spoiled I am (by our parents and my husband)

My husband intervened, my brother and him argued too. My parents also tried to say that SIL's attack was uncalled for. My husband and I left, so did my parents. Well about half an hour after I left I received a text from my brother saying that everyone was uncomfortable and some people have left his son's birthday party because I "can't take criticism". He also said that my nephew is "severely upset" with me.

My husband and parents are very obviously on my side, so are my friends although one of them told me that maybe my SIL is stressed out because of her job and taking care of her children and as another mother I should be more understanding.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ZucchiniMajor2222 on 2024-01-14 21:01:28+00:00.

I have sole legal and physical custody of my 12yo son Scot with my ex Rick. There is no visitation in place and its in the court papers that Rick is only allowed to see Scot if I allow it and any visitation must be supervised. At this point Rick has not seen or spoken to Scot in a year and a half. Scot is in therapy due to trauma from how Rick treated him when he was younger. At the therapist advice, if Rick reaches out I let Scot know his father contacted me but any interaction is solely Scot's decision and he has not wanted to see or talk to Rick. I don't push it and send Rick a message that Scot has declined meeting or talking to him.

I'm remarried, I have been for little over 3 years to Tom. He has a well paying job. On top of that, we have our house, student loans, and both vehicles fully paid off. (Rick makes under $30k a year and has never paid a penny in child support, even though he's supposed to. Rick also rents a room at a coworkers place and even if Scot visited him, Scot would not be able to stay over even if allowed.) Because Tom and I are debt free, we're able to do stuff as a family, cruises, disney and other theme parks, visit other states, beach trips, etc several times a year.

Of course Scot loves doing all of this with us, making memories and having fun. Rick, on the otherhand, claims I'm spoiling Scot and turning him into a brat by letting him do all these things. That Tom is only doing this to make him look bad to our son. And it's unfair because I know that he can't afford to do anything like that with Scot even if Scot did want to see him. (I always give Rick a courtesy heads up if we are traveling with Scot. It's not required but my lawyer said it would be a good idea to.)

So, Rick is blaming me for his lack of relationship with Scot, calling me a selfish mom who's not encouraging Scot to rebuild a relationship with him. I told Rick his lack of being in Scot's life is fully his fault, that not only was he a shit father but he's the one who cause Scot's trauma, so of course Scot wants nothing to do with him. Rick told me I'm being a raging bitch and one day he'll make sure Scot hates me so I know how he feels. I snapped at Rick to stfu, hung up, and for now blocked his number. AITA?

Eta: if it matters, the reason Rick lost all custody is because Rick had a fairly impressive collection on children's photography, among those were also pictures of Scot. There is currently an active case against Rick but no conviction has been made at this time. Damn courts are insanely backed up. All of this coming to light is why I have sole custody and Scot has been in therapy ever since. Scot honestly makes no secret to me that he absolutely hates Rick with all his being.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Hedgehog272 on 2024-01-14 20:59:44+00:00.

I 27F and my now husband 26M got married in 2021. I know it’s been a couple years since then but this has stuck in my mind for so long that I just wanted to get this off my chest. The wedding planning was going smoothly until the guest list came up. A friend who I’ll call Aj wanted me to disinvite one of my guy friend who I’ll call W from the wedding because both of us had slept with prior to me meeting my now husband and her bf at that time. Her bf didn’t want him there cause of that reason and made it clear that if she was to come to the wedding my friend W couldn’t come my husband knew about my past with W and even met him a couple of times after we got together and had no issues with W coming to the wedding and encouraged mine and W friendship knowing him and AJ were my only friends at that time in my life. Instead of seeing my side of things and just letting it go when I told them W was coming because he was my friend and I had hoped AJ and her bf would have moved past it. But the conversation went on for a couple of days and finally this is going to sounds bridezilla I said it’s a day about my husband and myself not them and to get over it or don’t come. AJ took her bf’s side in it all and said fine that she wasn’t going to come. And went to the point of blocking me on all social media and blocking my phone number. So I guess my question is AITA for not backing down and wanting both of my friends to be there for my wedding?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/GreatWhiteOprah on 2024-01-14 20:53:16+00:00.

EDIT: All of this is about my Dad's half-brother's husband. Not my dad's half-brother.

So I'm not entirely sure how to put this or how it works, or how to start.. I'm a 28/m. Today I told my mother that my uncle-in-law had come onto me when I was about 18. I told her there was no abuse or grooming while I was young, which I honestly think is true. This uncle is my dad's half-brother's husband (which I say with no prejudice at all, this can happen to anyone and they were "married" before it was legal, before I was alive). So when I was 18ish I went to their house to pick something up for my parents. It was just me and my uncle-in-law. Soon I was invited on a four-wheeler ride to show me the property that my uncles' camper was on, as they might have been acquiring the property (it belongs to my half-uncle's father, which is not my father's father..) Along the way, he stopped on the trail and got off the four-wheeler, seeming to smoke a cigarette, and then he reached over and grabbed my crotch and asked me if I liked it. I said no and he let go and we rode back to the house, me not knowing what to do. I went home not knowing what to to. I've spent 10 years not knowing what to do, having grown up with him as my uncle and spending summers having bbq's and pool parties and sleep overs with my cousins. This holiday season, my parents and other aunt and uncle were invited to my uncles' Christmas Eve dinner. My uncles' cancelled. I had overheard it was about me. I have had to move back in with my parents recently and he seems to think I need to be more responsible with my life and my parent's need to hold me accountable. He spoke some "nasty words" to my parents is all I'm told. So I finally told my mother, knowing she's had a bad argument with this uncle, finally breaking the dam and they are not going to be in contact any longer. But I told her not to tell anyone because it's my business. Knowing he's likely broken off from my immediate family, should I make this public? He runs a well known local business and it could end his business and his marriage with my uncle. Am I the asshole if I finally speak up?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Quick-Community4670 on 2024-01-14 20:47:04+00:00.

So this is gonna sound silly, and it probably is. We were at a store and the mens restroom was a single room with no stall, but just a toilet and a urinal. There is also no way to lock the door while using it. I didn't know this before going in and there was a guy taking a dougie on the toilet. I said oh sorry man, and went to the corner, because i needed to dougie and couldn't use to the urinal. after a few seconds he said hey boss please wait until im done. embaressed i left and he finished up left, and i went in. I felt pretty bad. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Zaramastar06 on 2024-01-14 20:40:06+00:00.

Ok, so my sister has a pit bull/whippet cross that has short hair and is easily chilled. She has seen crafts where people cut up sweatshirts and sew them back (idk, I don't sew 😅) and make upcycled dog sweaters and has wanted to try it, except she doesn't sew either so wanted to find something she wouldn't really have to alter besides cutting it. My mom had a sweater dress worth $100+ that didn't fit her and apparently offered to give my sister for her dog. The thing is, it's an actually knit sweater, not a sweatshirt, so it will probably just unravel as soon as she cuts it up. I saw it and didn't know my mom offered it to her and really liked it and asked to try it on. It fits me perfectly, like the color, the shape, everything. I'm really tall so finding well fitting clothes can be difficult. My mom said I could have it and my sister is now really upset about it. I feel really really bad. I offered to take her shopping and let her pick out a sweater for her dog and I would buy it for her, but she refused. Should I just give her the sweater dress???? Am I the Jerk?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Far_Fishing_6706 on 2024-01-14 20:39:11+00:00.

I (23 M) and my best friend Alan (24 M) have been friends for 10 years. He is not just my best friend but a part of my family because when I was a teenager I completely cut my family off my life and changed cities

Alan was my first friend there, and just like me, he leaved his parents behind. The connection we have together is unique. And, as my ex-family is no longer in touch with me for good, I have made up my own family including him as my brother. I will not talk about the rest of my family

Laura (23 F) and I have been together since we were 17. She did understand my situation about my family, and my meaning of it

Here, things got really complicated. After high school graduation, I got a job offer in the field I was pursuing with Alan, and I accepted it. The problem was that for this, I had to move to France and leave my family behind, as Alan didn't get the same chance as I did. Also, Laura wanted to go to college, so we had to decide what was best for both of us. Together, we chooses to start a long-distance relationship and stay in touch no matter what Also, around the time I got the job, Alan also decided to reconnect with his parents, who were living now in the UK. So, he also began searching for the same job there, as his sister, who got a scholarship in London at the IT university move in there. He really wanted to have his family back together, and even though I couldn't see the reason why my brother would want to do something like this, I supported his decision because I know he will always be my brother

Since Alan reconnected with his parents, I have begun to see some changes in him. I know it was because of his parents, but I never said anything because he was happy, and we still tried to hold on to our relationship like nothing happened

What happened recently. Laura and I are expecting twins. We held it a secret until now, as we are still in the long-distance relationship because of our career paths. Laura is 14 weeks pregnant and she decided to move in with me in France and give birth here to our babies, so decided to tell everyone the news

We managed to bring everyone that we consider part of our family at my house and Laura and I broke the secret. Most of the people were happy for us. That's when Alan comes to me and my girlfriend and says, "Is this is the moment when you are going to ask me to be your best man?" Most of the people because after this thought that Laura and I were about to announce our marriage, something Laura and I agreed on never doing I said to Alan that we are not going to get married, and from here everything goes south. He told me that I am an absolute idiot for bringing some kids into my family without being married to their mother, and other things like this. Because of Alan's comments, most of the people from Laura's family agreed with my friend and tried to push us into getting married. This got me and Laura angry, and we kicked everyone out of the house, including Alan.

It's been 3 days since all this happened and all this time I tried to contact my brother but in vain. All I know is that he's back in the UK and he's definitely mad at me for what I did but I still don't know why AITA?

Edit: I am not mad at Alan, just woryed to lose my best friend. I don't know what to do. I can't see my life without going in a good direction without my brother in it.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/matchaonmars on 2024-01-14 20:38:41+00:00.

Posting on my alt bc of the possibility that my mutuals know of my main.

I [22 F] went dress shopping with my maid of honor to look for a dress for my wedding. Getting right into things, I did not take my mother who was sick and has been sick multiple times/has been out of town and could not attend other appointments/basic consultations. I have pushed off dress shopping for months due to these factors, and was not able to wait anymore/reschedule any more last minute changes for her sake.

She ok-ed taking my maid of honor in her place, which I took as my green card to go ahead and proceed as normal with dress try-ons. Unintentionally, I found my dream dress that I had envisioned since day one of meeting my fiancé! I was over the moon smiling and made the unfortunate choice to call my mother and show her the dress. When I tell you I felt like I was in an episode of Say Yes to the Dress.. she immediately had her opinions, making me semi-grateful she wasn’t able to attend. She has had a controlling influence in this whole wedding, with her changing our guest list, making her own remarks about certain decor or flowers, etc.

I hung up, made my decision to go ahead with my dress because of the confidence it brought me, and didn’t look back. I informed her of my decision which is when she went psycho, telling me how I was wrong for making a “snap decision,” cruel, and apathetic for doing this - icing on the cake was that she now disliked this dress.

A little back story that may help explain why I went through with this: I do not see any significance in this tradition, nor do I like anything about weddings. This is “my time” to be happy and excited, but I have felt nothing but resentment and frustration over everything and anything to do with wedding planning, making my dress decision a checklist item, rather than an emotional gathering of people.

Back to the main story: she was rude, made me second thing everything about what was such a confident move, and doesn’t get that I have full say over this decision given I will pay for my dress in full. I understand that this was special to her, but this was not special for me. There will be other opportunities for her to see this dress on me, but for now, I am living in the fact that I finally stood up for myself and had the confidence to do what I wanted to do without her breathing down my neck about every decision I make. (I am an only child, if that adds to the severity of her helicopter-ing).

So, AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ThatBoyD00 on 2024-01-14 20:36:56+00:00.

Hey Reddit! This is my first post so apologies if this is too wordy or I'm not doing this right.

I live in a small apartment complex right next to a busy road with the parking lot in-between the road and the complex. Everyone in the building pretty much keeps to themselves and no one likes to bother anyone unless there is a major issue. If there was something small that people needed to be notified of or a question someone needed to ask my neighbors would just come and knock on my door and ask their question, no biggie. I'm not opposed to conversing with my neighbors and I try to be nice when I can. (Blowing leaves out of the way of my neighbors doors, lending my extension cord and power to help some guys fix our mailboxes after somebody hit them etc.) My apartment is on the corner of the building and the building itself is 'U' shaped. I have a tiny fenced in patio (no gate) and I keep my garbage can next to my fence out of view from the main road.

A couple nights ago (Friday) I came home to see someone was throwing away a washer/dryer as it was out on the side of the main road along with a large garbage bag and some plastic and wood pieces. Someone came by that night an picked up the washer/dryer but left the bag and the wood/plastic bits. The leftovers were still there Saturday morning due to it probably not being in a garbage can.

Today (Sunday) I came home to see what looked like my garbage can which had been pulled towards the front of the building placed close to my designated parking space. This was odd as garbage days are Wednesday and Saturday mornings. My garbage can looks a little different than the others and it is pretty recognizable to me. Well I go investigate and the garbage can is filled almost to the brim with the few plastic bits and the large bag that was on the road that did not get picked up. I walked over to where I keep my garbage can and its not in its spot so its definitely my can that was moved and filled up with not my garbage (without permission). This pissed me off as it is still 3 days before garbage gets picked up and now I had no space to throw away my own garbage.

So I decided to take the random bag of garbage out of my can and I ended up filling my can up with my own garbage as I was already planning on making today a cleaning day and getting rid of some miscellaneous crap I had lying around plus my already filled garbage bag from inside my apartment. I also put my garbage can back in its spot as it is not garbage day yet.

Well it was a somewhat rainy day today and instead of leaving the big garbage bag by my door or somewhere else under cover I decided I would place the bag back where I saw it last, by the main road in the rain. I kind of feel bad for doing this, but at the same time all whoever did this needed to do was ask if they could use my garbage can and I probably would've said yes. But that's not an option now as I have all of my garbage in my can for trash day.

So Reddit, AITA? Open to any ?'s

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/AbsoluteScotsman on 2024-01-14 20:28:12+00:00.

So I play dnd on thursdays and sundays with my friends online. I habe been with these friends since primary school and we are now 21 so i grew up with these people and we all went to the same school but now i live in TX. I i normaly spend weekends at my girlfriends house because i work a 9-5 office job in the finance department during the week and she normally takes me home on the sunday so i can make my sunday sessions. This week MLK jr day is on the monday so im off on a week day for once. I wanted to spend and extra day with my girlfriend so i asked my friends if we could push the session to monday so i could do that. They said no and i said "thats fine i can figure something out then" so my idea was to play the session from my girlfriends gaming PC which frankly is better than mine. Here is where the asshole comes in. I let my friends know in our discord server that im sorry in advance for a lower mic quality since im not at my own pc witn my voice acting mic. The Dungeon masters response to this was

"Next time stick to it at home, the background noise is a nusance and the mic is ear curdling."

I said "sorry im not going to make (gf's name) drive me 20 mins each direction just so i can play dnd"

His response was to tell me he isnt letting me play the session.

I asked him why and he said "i got better things to do than listen to yankee babble when im trying to host." referimg to my texan gf in the same room as me.

I told him "wtf, You know what. Im not gonna argue with you. You can do the session without me. Dont ever talk about my partner like that again"

He says "Fragile energy if thats what yankee babble means to you. Do what you want, these are the boundries I set last time. not abiding by them is your choice not mine"

Id like to add here that he had never mentioned any rules about this before. He made this up during the argument. Id wish i was smart enough to stick to my word and not argue with him but talking about my partner like that is a fastrack to pissing me off and me being a scottish im not one to sit quiet and take peopes crap.

I told him come talk to me when u are ready to apologize to both of us for what he said.

He then tells me i owe him 4000 apologies for all the other incidents i mentioned earlier. That he started quite evidently.

He then decides to tell me he never said anything bad about my gf at all. And to this i quoted what he said word for word and said "read what you type, you actual weapon" and stopped talking to him.

He kept saying crap and trying to have the last word and even got his boyfriend who is one of the other players to gang up on me.

I know that was alot to read but i need to know im not crazy. AITAH?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Shamil0 on 2024-01-14 20:09:49+00:00.

I (20 y/o M) work at a 9 to 6 job, I work 5 days a week, I have a day off on either Wednesday or Thursday and on Sunday we are closed, at the branch I work at I'm all alone, if I need help from my colleagues I either call or message them. I love my job, I've now been working there for almost 1.5 years and it pays good money.

Now onto my issue, like I mentioned, I have basically 2 days of the week that I don't work, I usually chill and try to calm down because even though my job isn't hard and energy consuming, being very busy can exhaust me a bit, so I'm grateful for the day off. I live with my Mom and Dad (both 61 y/o) and living there is mostly fine, I do get annoyed by my Dad because of the type of person he is but I always try to ignore that and enjoy my life.

So sometimes, like 70% of my days off, have been either my Mom or Dad asking me to do something like either buy something, pick up medicine or a package somewhere, etc., I personally don't like that they do that because its my day off and I just need rest, my Dad doesn't work anymore, so he can do it too (he sits on the computer playing games), he is the one who actualy asks me the most to do something for him. Every time he asks me I see that he either already has clothes on to go out or the clothes are on his bed ready to be put on, every time he does that I get annoyed.

Lately I have been telling him that he can just do it himself because he just sits on his ass on the PC every day while I 5 out of the 7 days work for 9 hours straight. He always gets annoyed and tells me something like "Welp, your choice, we are not going to have food now" (even though we do), my mom agrees with me to an extend, she knows that my dad is going outside to buy stuff for her, but like most of the days he really just has nothing to do so may as well do something.

Also I'd like to mention this, my mom doesn't ask me a lot of stuff either, she mostly just asks me to get her medicine (which btw, regardless of if its her or my dad, I will always do) or buy cigarettes for her. She works too (I don't remember her exact working times, but she also has a day off every week and is free on weekend) but she has had a knee surgery almost 2-3 years ago so she can't walk as well as any regular person (sorry mom).

I kinda feel like an asshole towards my dad, but I feel like I have a valid reason, but what do you guys think?

Edit: I forgot to mention but yes, I do pay my part for electricity and such every month.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Nearby-Geologist-920 on 2024-01-14 19:57:22+00:00.

My (53m) daughter (31f) recently announced her second pregnancy to the whole family who was delighted as she has been struggling since her first one.

My brother died at 27, I was 21. My mom was always a very career oriented person, we own a family business which he was supposed to take over. We never talked about him, ever. One month after his accident she had already erased his name from all the official papers, got his belongings sold or given and took me as her successor in his place. I was angry at her for showing no empathy, at my dad for saying nothing and letting his son’s memory be scratched over like it was nothing, but still I said nothing.

I got married to Jenna (55f),a good friend. She was there for me through tough times, when my brother’s absence was unbearable. We had three beautiful daughters before we got divorced amicably. We’re still friends to this day. I got remarried to Sam (50f) under my mother’s advice. We had kids and she took over my mom’s business as she was more fit than I in those matter.

Everyone knows of my brother even though I never talk about it because I just can’t. I know I am at fault for not wanting to stop grieving, but I do not know how to deal with this loss either way. Helen is now fixed on giving her son my brother’s name, not because she wants to honor him as she never knew him but because it’s “pretty and unique”.

Jenna told her it was not a good idea and that there was plenty of pretty names she could use. But she is making it personal even though she knows how painful it is for me. Sam is totally on her side as she find me irrational and stupid, she treats me like a mad man and told me I have no say in how Helen deal with her kids. I do get her point, but I find their behaviour cruel and the reason is straight up stupid. I could have understand if Helen was not so impersonal, like this name meant nothing. Just “pretty and unique”. Am I crazy for refusing to let her use a name that means so much to me, that bring so much painful memories to mind for a reason as superficial as that? I asked her and she brushed it off saying after so long it doesn‘t make sense to still associate his name with painful memories, instead of creating new ones with her child. I don’t understand how giving his name to someone else will erase the pain of losing him. People grief differently and I was never one to talk about it. But just that one time I would like for them to let me be. Helen said I was being self centred as everyone found the name pretty and I was just trying to make it about me. Her and Sam are not believing my pain to be genuine.

They are now siding together and have been talking to my other kids who are taking turn to make me change my mind, I feel cornered and except Jenna, nobody is actually trying to see things from where I stand. I have been resenting my mom for this my whole life and now my own family is being dismissive about my brother’s death. Am I the Asshole ?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Miserable_Apple_3797 on 2024-01-14 15:18:41+00:00.

My girlfriend (f25) and I (m26) have been dating for two years, we're living together.

The other day she had her friends over (three women). We ordered pizza and were having dinner. At some point we started discussing about house chores/ marriage and expectations for marriage.

I said that I think that having one partner at work and another taking care predominantly of the house/ children is the best in my opinion. I didn't say that a woman should only be a housewife, but that I thought that was best and I would prefer that.

Well, my girlfriend's friend started saying that my point of view is outdated, that I sound sexist and stuff like that. After a while even my girlfriend said that I was wrong (it was just an opinion/ preference, I never suggested that I would force my wife to stay at home or anything like that)

After her friends left, my girlfriend had the nerve to tell me that my comment was very shitty and that she's even questioning our whole relationship? I told her that it's not that deep, I do think that it's best, especially for children, to have their mother at home. I am not saying that should be the case in every marriage/ relationship or that I won't marry a woman just because she doesn't want to be a SAHM. I never said anything remotely similar.

I think she's exaggerating, but everyone seems to be on her side? Isn't a conversation about opinions in different subjects meant to have different opinions?