Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Professional_Tear138 on 2024-01-13 17:03:47+00:00.

I am 22 female college student who lives on her own. I moved out when I was 18 for college. My mum married another man who has a daughter around the time of me moving out. Not that I had a problem honestly. His daughter was 13 so now she is 17. I never got close to either him or her I was mostly busy with my studies and when I was not I preferred to spend private time with my mother so no I didn’t put in effort to get to know them nor did they put effort into getting to know me.

Now fast forward to last week, my collage held an event which they called “celebrate your sibling party” or simply an event where everyone brings their siblings to the party if you want to but can still attend if you bring a friend or any guest instead or even don’t bring anyone . The “sibling” party was just a cherry on top otherwise it was a very normal party that allowed only one guest. I thought of inviting a very close friend of mine since she was staying in my state.

My step father somehow got to know of this and was like “take your sister” and my mother also talked with me about how this will be a “beautiful opportunity to get to know your sister”. I didn’t like the pushing of us being “sisters” like Idk I never thought of her as family and never had that many interactions with her. My mum decided to marry into a family why should that mean I , who had 0 involvement, should indulge with their family games? I told my mother I already invited my friend but she was like “meet her anywhere else or go to a club together later but take your sister!”.

The whole conversation I was trying to not be rude but because they both kept insisting on us being “sisters” and that I have to take her , I finally blasted and was like “no I already have someone invited and even if I didn’t I am not going to take her anywhere because we are not sisters just because you 2 married”. I admit my words were kinda harsh but they came after me respectfully declining their request MANY times and them not listening.

Now they are both mad and my mum texted saying I should apologize to her husband and come around more to have some “family” topics.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Otherwise_Lead_936 on 2024-01-13 16:55:21+00:00.

I'm looking for a second opinion. I have always been close with my son and daughter in law and think we have a really good relationship. They live just a mile down the road so we are together quite a bit. Babysitting has started to cause some friction though and I want to make sure that I'm being reasonable.

My son and DIL have a 3 year old little boy that is as sweet as can be. My son works M-F and my DIL is a SAHM. I babysit my grandson 2 days during the week so my DIL can have a break and typically one evening/night on weekends for them to have a date night.

My DIL has this rule that she wants to be there for any "firsts" that my grandson does. I get that though her definition of "first" is very broad. Not just like first trip to the zoo, but first time at a new park, first time seeing a new TV show, first time playing with a toy etc. I personally think the restrictions are a tad over the top, but her kid her rules and I have no problem respecting that.

The issue happens in that she doesn't do any of these firsts. I'm really not sure what they do all day when they are home but everything I ask to take my grandson to do she says is a first, that she wants to be there for, but then she doesn't do it. It's made it so babysitting is alot of just sitting at my house with nothing to do and my grandson is bored.

So the other day I told her that I think it would be a good idea for her to relax the first rule a bit so that I can take my grandson to do some things while I am babysitting. She did not like that and said that I was trying to take memories and special moments away from her. I'm not trying to overstep but a bored three year old with no way to burn off energy is alot to handle and so I told her I don't know if I could babysit as frequently with the rules how they are. She accused me of blackmailing her.

AITA here?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ThrowRAcountitdown on 2024-01-13 16:38:00+00:00.

Last night, I got home much later than anticipated and when my wife saw me she told me we needed to talk after I had dinner.

I meet her in our bedroom and ask her what we need to talk about. She puts it out in the open that our daughter(16F) getting fat, and for good measure, points out that her best friend(16F) is putting on a lot of weight too.

I asked my wife what's brought this on. She tells me that our daughter came home with snacks that she'd picked up on the drive between school and home. She said her friend was driving over soon. Friend comes over, brings snacks too.

My wife tells me she saw them watching TV with all these snacks on our table. What upset her really was when she saw the girls looking through our pantry for even more snacks, saying they'd finished what they'd bought.

I asked my wife why she was making " Teenage girls eat snacks" into an issue. She said I was downplaying it and told me to be honest and admit that our daughter has " an obvious belly". I told her I couldn't believe what I was hearing, she doubled down, said that our daughter's friend has got " a big butt now".

I asked why wife if she was hearing herself, asking why she's freaked out over some snacks and why we're discussing our daughter's stomach and her friend's rear end.

My wife said I was purposely missing the big picture. I said she was being shallow. She said I was being awful saying that to her.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Longjumping_Bass7128 on 2024-01-13 16:16:59+00:00.

I'm 18f and my boyfriend and I are expecting a baby. His family are so kind and supportive but most of mine are not, with the exception of my two brothers who are great. The rest of my family say we are too young and have second guessed all my choices, from researching formula because I won't be breastfeeding to the names we have looked at. I moved in with my boyfriend a couple of months ago which was a little earlier than we had planned but we both wanted to get away from the comments. We have started buying stuff and we know we're having a little boy.

My parents and sisters originally told me when they heard I was having a boy that I should name him George after my great-grandfather. I told them we weren't looking for name suggestions and asked them not to push the issue. Then they asked what the name we were thinking of was and I said we weren't going to share until he's here. That wasn't taken well and they decided we must have an awful name lined up and they made a list of suggestions for us with names such as Simon, Malcom, Edward, Fredrick, James, Jonathan and Desmond. I told them again that we did not want or need names suggested because we had our own ideas.

I ignored them the next couple of times they mentioned names. But then Christmas Day they had a field day because my oldest sister grabbed my phone while I was in the bathroom and she searched for the list I had on there. We were at my oldest brother's house btw. She showed mom and my other sisters and she tried to involve my brothers but my oldest brother told them they could leave if they started shit at his house in front of his family. But they did start shit and asked me what the hell I was thinking and demanding that I choose one of their names.

The names that set them off were Sloan and Finley. They were the two I had on a list on my phone. My brother did have to kick them out in the end because they said I could not ruin my son with a name like that and then said my boyfriend was a bad influence because he wants another dumb name like Jaxon. I told them I was just as much a part of the naming of mine and my boyfriend's baby and just because the names aren't to their taste doesn't mean they have the right to insult us.

I had to block them on my phone since Christmas because they were going crazy blowing up my phone. But then I got an email with an even longer list of names two days ago. So I unblocked them temporarily and in a family group chat told them that this is my baby and I do not need or want them to name him for me and I will not entertain a single name on their list and because they have annoyed me, I will never use one of those names ever. I blocked them again and my brothers showed me screenshots of where they are going off. They find it funny but I know they had to mute the chat. I feel kinda bad now and my parents and sisters are calling me out.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ThrowRaPrion on 2024-01-13 16:15:30+00:00.

So, I (M23) have been dating my girlfriend (F34) for a year and a half. Six months ago we decided to get married, planning the wedding for August 2024, and five months ago my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. Also her son from her first relationship lives with us. He is still a teenager, he is 17 years old, and I think he is jealous of his mother for me. He was not happy that we were going to get married, and now that he realized that the wedding will be after the baby is born, he is even more upset for some reason. He seems to have a prejudice that children should only be born in marriage.

We were discussing what we were going to name our future son, and as my fiancée and I went through several options, her son said he wanted to suggest a name too. Of course, we agreed, and he unexpectedly gave me the name of my girlfriend's ex. It wasn't the name of his father, who was too young when his son was born and chose to just run away, but the name of the guy my girlfriend date before me.

The worst part for me was that my girlfriend said the name was beautiful and that she would think about it. I protested immediately. My girlfriend said I was overreacting and it was just a pretty name. I once again said no. Then my girlfriend's son suggested the name again, this time already his father's name. I sat there and saw him gloating while looking at me. My girlfriend didn't see it. I told my girlfriend that I did not want her son to be involved in choosing a name for our child. She said I shouldn't stop her son from expressing his opinion. Now she resents me.

I feel disgusted, humiliated. I don't want our son to be named after her ex-boyfriends.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/RealAd4291 on 2024-01-13 15:12:53+00:00.

I will try to make this quick. I host dinners for the family and that includes all of the in-laws. The past year and a half has been a nightmare. My son in law can not deal with food touching, that’s fine. So when I plate up his stuff I make sure it’s not touching. At any point in the meal if the food falls into the other food then he apparently can’t eat it. Then he makes a huge deal about it and I either have to give him more or deal with him, usally needing with an argument.

I have tried to get the whole family to just serve themselves but they think it is rude so that doesn’t work. I have given smaller portions to him to make sure nothing ever touches but if I do that I get accused of starving him. Also I have talked about this so many times with him and my daughter

I had a dinner yesterday and served his on one of those kids plates since I figured it has the mini walls and will prevent everything from touching. He blew up and we got in an argument. The rest of the family is split on the issue but some found it funny.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Old-Possession2612 on 2024-01-13 15:11:40+00:00.

My stepdad suddenly passed away at the end of November and my mom has been a nervous wreck. So, I feel like I need to cut my mom some slack, right? So yesterday my mom called me crying and told me she’s heartbroken because her friend’s husband had asked her for help picking out a Valentine’s Day present for the friend. For more context, my girlfriend and I have been together 3 years and we have argued about time spent with my family before. I’m in my mid-30s, my girlfriend is in her late 20s and my mom is in her early 70s.

She has gone through ups and downs in mourning, and I think the worst part about grief is the counting realization that someone will no longer be there to do things with you. (The same spiral happened during Christmas when she realized my stepdad wouldn’t be around to put up the Christmas lights. My girlfriend and I put them up for her.) My mom asked me through sniffles on the phone if I would get her a present for Valentine’s Day and also take her to dinner.

Now, here's the problem. Money is really really tight for me right now. I over spent on Christmas presents (mostly to over compensate for the passing of my step dad) and if I get stuff for my mom, my girlfriend might be getting a DIY card this year. My girlfriend over heard the phone call and is now FURIOUS with me, because she already knows that me getting my mom a present means my girlfriend won’t get one and that she won’t be taken to dinner.

I asked my girlfriend if she would be okay if I got her something small like a box of chocolates and took my mom to dinner on Valentine’s Day. My girlfriend got really mad and called me an asshole and told me that she is tired of me taking care of my mom over her constantly. And that it was okay for Christmas and thanksgiving, and even new years, but she feels like Valentine’s Day is too much. I don’t think it’s too much, because she’s my mom and she just lost her husband.

Reddit, am I the asshole if I prioritize my mom's emotional well-being over the traditional chocolates-and-roses and dinner routine with my girlfriend? Is it cool to let my mom bask in a Valentine's glow while my girlfriend has to settle?

TL;DR: Moms husband died and she wants a Valentine's gift, girlfriend might get a handmade card because I’m a broke bitch. I am choosing to prioritize my mom. Am I the asshole?

EDIT: sorry to clarify, I am also financially strained because of pipes bursting in my house a few weeks ago, not just the Christmas presents.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Thro-wa-wa-Y9999 on 2024-01-13 14:32:23+00:00.

I (25F) got married to my husband (27M) almost an year ago. We weren't able to afford to go the honeymoon we wanted back then so that's why we saved up so we could go to Hawaii for our 1 year anniversary. The trip is supposed to happen next month. We mentioned our plans to our family when my brother (23M) suddenly chimed in saying that Hawaii is a great idea and that him and his boyfriend will join too. I was taken aback when he said that and I told him that this isn't a random trip and it's supposed to be our honeymoon, but he said that we could do a double couples honeymoon together so him and his boyfriend can feel the experience of one as well.

I told him that if he wants to feel the experience of a honeymoon they can just go to a separate trip instead of hijacking ours and that even if they come, but my brother went off at me saying that I'm selfish for not sharing this experience with him when I know that our country doesn't allow gay marriages and so he's never gonna feel the experience of a real honeymoon and this will be as close as he gets and somehow my parents are now backing him up as well (well, mostly my mom, but my dad usually goes along with her in order to avoid family conflict). Ngl at this point I feel like giving my brother the wrong location of our honeymoon so there's no possibility of him and his boyfriend somehow hijacking it.

AITA ?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ThrowAway1272620 on 2024-01-13 12:33:55+00:00.

Hi, English is not my first language so if the grammar is off I am sorry!

I 21f had my daughter Alicia 4f when I was 17. Everything has been going well, my daughter started daycare about three years ago, all the people who work there have been really nice and my daughter lives almost everyone there. The problem started about 4 months ago when this new girl started working there. When I came by she asked me who I was there for, I told her and she yelled out “Alicia, your big sister is here!”, I laughed and corrected her as this is something that happens every once in a while. She did not answer me but I thought she heard and me and that she would know for the next time.

However, this has happened every single time I have talked with her during pick up, I have reminded her, tried to tell her politely and tried to be more stern in my tone. I have talked with two other workers and they have told me that they would talk to her, however, this has continued. It maybe doesn’t seem like a big problem, but being a young mother my role as her parent is very often disregarded and overlooked. So to me, it becomes a big deal when a person continually does something like this.

So started last week, I completely stopped talking to this girl. If she was the one to come up to me during pick up, I would walk right past her and do the pick up with another one of the workers there.

Yesterday the principal asked to talk with me during drop off, she asked me if I had anything against this one girl as she had complained about me refusing to talk with her or acknowledge her. She had apparently found this extremely disrespectful and the principal told me that I had to respect all the workers, not just the one I wanted to.

I am begging to feel like an asshole because while I found her extremely rude, being disrespected at your workplace is never fun and I disrespected her in a place where she maybe have worked her to land in.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Additional-Virus2175 on 2024-01-13 12:20:44+00:00.

So I just found out that I was "missing " two Christmas gifts from family Christmas Eve party from MIL. She called asking me about them. My thank you note did not mention these items. Well I didn't receive them. MIL is shocked and sure that I did, just check your closet. Um I know what's in my closet I didn't get a jacket or a sweater. She is shocked. She wants to throw the receipt away but now we don't know where the items are. This conversation goes round and round. Although I felt like she didn't believe me, we ended the conversation with her saying she would get to the bottom of it. She got to the bottom alright. Several calls later she finds out her niece received the items on Christmas Eve. Oh ok. And she'll get them back. Ummm ok. Several more calls later. Niece has the items. Niece let her daughter wear them on vacation and the jacket is torn from an escalator mishap and we don't know where the sweater is. MIL wants the jacket back so she can wash it and give it to me. She's determined to find the sweater to give to me. Now.... I said I have no problem whatsoever if niece wants to keep, come to find out niece loved the jacket. Torn or not she thought it was hers. AITA for saying well I didn't know anything about these gifts and would be fine and ok with niece keeping them. And I don't have a problem with it at all.

Truth is now I don't want them, at all. AITA for not wanting these things now? My husband says I'M being unreasonable! Me! What did I do?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/MaskedinSilver on 2024-01-13 12:19:12+00:00.

My parents (60s), brother and his girlfriend (mid 20s), my husband and I (early 30s) went out for a late Christmas/New Year's dinner because we were busy around the actual time. I used to work as a surgeon, but now, work as a GP, which is how I met my husband. My parents aren't very rich and nor is my brother or his wife. My hushand and I are both earning a decent amount so I give a bunch of money to my parents and always pay for their food whenever we go out. I rarely go out with my brother because he always treated me like slave and hasn't really changed. I still try to be friendly enough around him.

We went to a pricey restaurant. Everyone except my brother and his gf ordered 1 main, 1-2 sides and 1 drink. The dishes weren't small. My brother got 3 of the most exepnsive meals, 5-6 sides and quite a bit of expensive wine. His gf got 1 meal, 4 sides and quite a bit of expensive wine. When he ordered that much, I half joked "I'm only paying for a normal amount not a whole restaurant".

When it came for time to pay, I told both my brother and his gf that I'll only be paying for 1 main, 2 sides and 1 drink for them. He started screaming that I was being a "bitch" for not paying for all of his food even though I'm now "rich as fuck". I told him that if he was going to eat that much, he shouldn't expect me to cover it. His gf was fine with it and said that she can just pay for her own meal (her parents are rich). I told my brother that I warned him that I wasn't going to pay for him eating an insane amount. In the end, his gf payed for his meal.

My parents said that I should have payed for his meal and told me to apologise to him, but I told them I had enough of him "taking advantage of everyone". They half understood but said that I have to "love him anyway because he's my brother". My husband understands since we both recently bought our dream house and aren't really overflowing with riches and has always disliked my brother.

AITA for not paying for my brother's meal?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/jki987 on 2024-01-13 12:16:57+00:00.

So, for background, I (24m) work as a direct support professional (DPS) for the mentally and physically disabled. All my coworkers are women but the two that are involved in this are 54 and 34, we'llcall them Jane(54f) and Dana(34f). If it matters at all, they are both married with children and I am single. Dana is my assistant supervisor and Jane is the same position as me. This all happened yesterday.

I would sometimes order ubereats for lunch because I don't drive. Dana has been asking me questions about ubereats here and there and I don't usually think anything of it, but she'll also make remarks like "so when you gonna buy me lunch," or "are you ordering lunch today," which I brushed off as a joke but when she kept doing it I would just always say no.

Now every payday, as a group we would get a work lunch all together, but as yesterday was not a payday, I just ordered for myself, which I didn't think anything of until Jane came over and said "oh you ordered lunch, why didn't you tell us?"

I honestly didn't know what to respond, but before I could Dana said "he's always doing that man," and then Jane said "it would be nice if you announced to the group that you're ordering lunch,"

I just got annoyed, and as I had told Jane about ubereats too, I just said to them bluntly "well then you can just download the app yourselves and order it," which Jane cut me off and said "no we don't need your money, but it would be nice if you would tell us so we can give you money to order for us," to which Dana chimed in "thank you."

Before I could say anything else, Jane said that she had her issue with me and not to get into it with her, so I just didn't say anything else. Jane then drove out and bought lunch for herself while Dana brought lunch from home.

AITA for not telling them I was ordering lunch? It made me feel selfish for not saying anything to them, but at the same time I just feel that if they really wanted it, they could have either said something earlier, or just have downloaded the app and ordered for themselves, but I have been wrong before so maybe there's something I'm not seeing?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Rude_Water_6037 on 2024-01-13 11:33:50+00:00.

EDIT: There are also moral reasons why I am against it. I don't really mind if my son's not religious, but the cow is a sentient creature. I'd be just as upset if he said that he wants to eat dog meat, or cheat on his partner, etc. Perhaps there shouldn't be a rule against these things legally, but you can still ask people to not do that.

My wife was also present and got tricked into having the meat.

______________________________________________________________________________________________

My son is nine-years-old, and we're Indians who are living in the USA. There are various items which are prohibited in the 'religion'. It includes cow meat.

Recently, he talked to me about some of his friends were talking about how they have eaten beef, and that he wants one as well. I refused, and in the end he agreed with it.

We recently stayed at my brother's house. My son informed him one day, that he wants to have cow meat, but that I would not allow that. My brother agreed to help him have it, and also told him "As they did not give it to you, we'll also make a plan to make them have it as well."

Yesterday they said that they were making meat for dinner, and I said sure. When it was served, I noticed that it tasted somewhat differently, so I asked him about it. He laughed and said "That's beef. I want you to taste it as you're so against it. Fuck your controlling attitude."

I was shocked, and a really huge argument that ensued. My son was continuing to have it, but I asked him to stop, and in the end my brother was yelling at me himself and that he wanted to teach me a lesson. I called then "back-stabbing bastards", and in the end I left the house. I also gave my son a well-deserved dressing down and he's now grounded for a month. My brother and his wife are saying that I overreacted, though, and that they only did it as I was "controlling" towards my son.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Mother-Couple-2843 on 2024-01-13 10:54:25+00:00.

My(F15) granny always dreamed of having a daughter named Mary but instead she got 6 sons and no daughters.

Whenever she found out each of her DILs is pregnant she would beg them to name the kid Mary but no one would do this.

When my baby sister(2months) was born my granny decided that she is going to call her Mary eventhought that's not her name. My parents are very annoyed because of this but they believe in respecting elders so they won't say anything.

This Christmas we all gathered at granny's and she again called my sister Mary. I snapped at her to stop this is annoying that's not her name. Granny was upset and my cousins and uncles started telling me that I'm being rude and it's just a name and it's no big deal so I decided that since it's no big deal for them I will call all of my cousins Mary, even the boys.

I called them Mary all day and at the end one of them snapped and told me that I'm not funny anymore and asked me to stop. I told him I'm not trying to be funny Mary but I won't stop until you apologize and admit that it is annoying to be called something other than your name.

Now they are calling me an asshole.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/KikiBebz717 on 2024-01-13 10:53:46+00:00.

Hi, I (30F) am pregnant and due in April. My husband (35M) and I have a baby shower planned next month to celebrate with friends and relatives. This event is very important and meaningful to me as I have not publicly shared the news with my friends and family on any social platform (i.e. Instagram, FB, the usual). My husband is super excited to invite all his friends from work and other social circles to the baby shower, most of whom I generally like and get along with--except for one. Let's call her Sharon. Sharon is my husband's former coworker and she is also pregnant (a few months after me).

I never saw Sharon as a real problem up until last week, where my husband and I attended another good friend's baby shower (where Sharon was also invited). Prior to attending the event, my husband told me to make sure to wear a jacket and keep my baby bump as discreet as possible, so that I don't steal the spotlight from my friend, which I completely agree and respect.

I was shocked when Sharon showed up wearing the tightest maternity bodycon dress one could ever imagine. Her baby bump was extremely prominent and shown in such a way where it essentially forcees the conversation on her pregnancy. This was almost everyone's FIRST TIME seeing her baby bump; some people didn't even know she was pregnant! It was incredibly uncomfortable for me as I watched the energy shift from my friend to Sharon. People were more interested in Sharon's baby, asking the usual 20 questions people are keen to ask when they find out someone is expecting. And the worst part is, Sharon seemed to bask in the spotlight and gleefully answered everyone's questions.

After witnessing that debacle, I no longer wanted Sharon at my baby shower. Her selfish behavior and attitude made it clear to me that she would try and pull the same exact shit at my baby shower. My husband tells me that not inviting her to my baby shower will cause unnecessary drama, since she is friends with the people who are attending. He also told me that we won't be invited to Sharon's baby shower and that it will start even more drama, etc, etc... I do care about my husband and the connection he has to his friends, but at the same time, I am hurt that he is not taking my side and understanding why I feel so strongly about this. It just infuriates me that he won't even acknowledge that what Sharon did is wrong and in poor taste---in fact, he is making me feel like I am being overly sensitive and that I am overthinking everything!

I have no one to turn to and I feel that the only course of action for me is to take this girl off the invite list. I am too stressed to think about the consequences this may have on the social group, nor do I have the bandwith to truly sympathize. I just want to be selfish and thiink about my baby. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Trick_Push_8754 on 2024-01-13 09:44:00+00:00.

I’ve never actually used Reddit before so sorry if there are any mistakes.

So, I (14f) have an older sister (19f) who we will call “Ella”. Ella is staying at home with me and my parents for university until she graduates or finds an affordable apartment for rent.

Anyway to give a little context my family is pretty busy. My mom is a nurse so she is gone very early and isn’t back until sometimes very late and my dad also gets up early as well. (I’m not exactly sure what he does but I know it has something to do with finance) So because of this I have to get myself ready in morning. Since my parents aren’t here in the morning I’ve set up a routine. I’ll usually pack my lunch, snack etc the night before and put it in the fridge to take it to school the next morning and it works out great.

UNTIL my sister moved in. For a little context my sister is also out of the house before I wake up and I’ve started to notice that she would take my lunch, leaving me with nothing to eat. I just assumed she didn’t know it was mine which was a little annoying but I just told her to stop taking them. She agreed and all was well until last week Friday.

Friday morning I was supposed to go to school and she took my lunch AGAIN and I had to buy myself something small with pocket money and I had enough so I decided I was done. I woke early on Saturday morning before she was awake and just took her sandwich. (For more context cause I know people will be confused, she goes to the library with her friends on some Saturday’s and that’s the only time she’ll actually pack her own lunch) Anyway I took it and started eating it for breakfast. Needless to say when she came downstairs and saw me eating her food she got mad.

We got into a fight and I ended up telling her that this was how I felt every time she was to lazy to make her own food and ate mine instead. I went back upstairs and by the time I came back down she was gone.

My parents weren’t happy when they found out what happened and told us to figure it out ourselves so now I’m kind of feeling bad. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/uglygxrl on 2024-01-13 05:13:15+00:00.

for context, i (20f) am in my last year of my undergrad degree, and i still live with my parents. the summer after 1st year, i worked full time in order to save up money for rent so i could move out. i made roughly $8k the first summer. the bi-weekly payments were being directly deposited into my one of my accounts, which is a separate account from where i do my spending from.

my dad insists on having access to my bank account at all times. i couldnt refuse because i live in his house and at the time, i didnt have the funds to just get up and leave as much as i would have loved to. so, he would always check my accounts, block my card so i would have to ask his permission to buy things, yell at me when he saw me buying food on campus, etc...

last year, i asked to check the account where my job money was being deposited to see how much money i had saved up. i would always collect my paystubs so i knew exactly how much i should have earned at that point. i was shocked when i saw that there was around $6.5k missing. then i saw, my dad had been using the money from my job for his payments, hydro bills, new computers, etc...

i blew up on him. he knew that i was saving the money up for rent and he didnt even ask me before spending almost all of it. he even denied it at first, said that "the money is safe elsewhere" but of course, i knew this was bs so i asked him to show me where every missing dollar was. he obviously couldnt.

my home is extremely toxic and rapidly deteriorates my mental health. the one thing i could count on was me saving up money to move out on my own. and he took that away from me. we got into a huge argument about it again recently. he told me to "shut up about it" at first, but then said he "made a mistake" in a very condescending tone. i told him i would never forgive him for what he did, and i didnt consider him to be a father to me anymore.

my mom says i was being too harsh. i told her my comment was built up for over a decade of my resentment for him, and that his controlling nature is unbearable. it wasnt just because of him taking my money, but the situation was the tipping point for me. she still thinks i was out of line since "hes still your dad"

so AITA here ?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/MightBeWes on 2024-01-13 04:17:19+00:00.

I’m an openly gay male (24), with minimal experiences of homophobia from my family or country. Though my family had recently planned our first family trip to a country that is one of the top locations for homophobia, where being gay is still illegal and has one of the highest rates of brutality crime rates globally. It’ll be on a resort and I’m feeling pressured to go, as it’s paid for, but it’s hard to feel safe. I feel terrible but also feel like they simply don’t understand, putting me in a room with a male friend (who’s also gay). While we’re not really conforming, I audibly have a gay accent and the thought of constantly worrying about the airport, ride to the resort and staff just makes me feel better to not attend. My parents are trying to convince me otherwise, but I feel I’m justified, having to worry a whole week and constantly be babysat doesn’t sound fun. Does anyone have similar situations, or positive thoughts to convince me otherwise?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/FuzzySong2227 on 2024-01-13 04:12:30+00:00.

My best friend ‘Nick’(35m) and I(35m) live in the same city. We decided to travel together to our other friend ‘Toby’(35m)’s wedding. All three of us went to school together. Nick’s son ‘Albert’(15) is my godson and he was also invited. Toby is another honorary uncle for him.

Anyways, the day before we left I bought Albert a copy of ‘Death On The Nile’ to read at the airport and on the flight, figuring it will help him get some sleep if he read instead of playing on his phone.

The day of the flight, Nick who travelled extensively for work and had many miles and points got an upgrade to first class. I stayed with Albert in economy. It was an overnight flight. I told him ‘You should go to sleep in the next hour’ and dozed off soon after take off.

Woke up an hour before landing to find that he hasn’t gotten any sleep at all and has been reading the book I got him the entire time. Told me he ‘couldn’t put it down.’

When we landed, Nick was upset that I didn’t make sure Albert got some sleep. He said it would have been nice of me to do so and even called me an irresponsible godfather for it.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Accountthrown999 on 2024-01-13 03:00:32+00:00.

I (39M) have two children. My (15m) son and my (14F) daughter. I recently found myself in a situation with my son. This is because i allowed my daughter to have her friends over. I did not allow my son to have his friends over as he's still grounded due to the fact that he gotten EXPELLED from school for fighting (SCHOOL JUST STARTED MONDAY) (He got suspended 3 times last semester for fighting so this is nothing new)

My son got upset with me and told me that and told me I was being unfair and that I always favor my daughter. I told him that I'm not favoring anybody and I'm just rewarding good behavior. I told him that his sister didn't get expelled so why should I punish his sister when she have done nothing wrong? He told me that he was sorry but he miss his friends and want to talk to them. I told him no. He told me he hates me and don't understand why I constantly favor his sister. I asked him do you expect me to reward you for getting expelled? I told him school just started and you've already gotten in trouble. I said you can't possibly think I'm favoring your sister simply because I allowed her to hang out with her friends. He told me to admit that I like his sister more. I told him out of rage that I do like his sister more because she does well in school and doesn't constantly get in trouble at school. After I said that I deeply regretted it. He started crying and told me he hates me. I started apologizing and he told me that he wished he was never born and ran into his room and locked the door. This happend today and I've constantly tried knocking on the door and apologizing but he keeps telling me to go away. He didn't even come out of his room to eat or take a bath. I feel horrible for saying what I said and I felt like I shouldn't of let him push my buttons as hard as he did.

Aita? What can I do to fix this?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/NarrowAnalyst6680 on 2024-01-13 02:41:33+00:00.

I (42m) parted ways with my brother (42) a while ago based on differences of opinion, but he called me recently. He saw a video of his daughter (16) "slandering and insulting" him on her friend's podcast. Apparently she had been going behind his back and hanging out with people he didn't like for years.

I parted ways with him when she was 5, and at that point she already liked me a lot more than him, and he wanted me to talk to her about respect. Before I was about to talk to her, he showed me the clip from the podcast in question, and his daughter said.

"Oh yeah I fucking hate my dad. Trash human, no like. He's kept me from learning about being a mechanic. He says a woman doesn't need a degree, just an apron and a cookbook."

I asked if he really behaved like that, and his answer boiled down to "Well, yeah."

I said nothing, and waited until I met his daughter.

I told her: "Move out as soon as possible. Your father is an absolute fool, and I wish I'd been here to correct him. When you've escaped, I'll support you as much as I can."

Obviously her father had a bit of a blow-up. I said nothing and left as he seethed and called me an asshole. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/stopexploitingurkids on 2024-01-13 01:07:04+00:00.

AITA for storming out of my in laws for feeding my baby

My mother in law and I have a pretty great relationship and I love her but sometimes I just feel like she thinks a lot less of me than her biological children. My 8 month old baby recently went through some health problems and lost quite a bit of weight but her doctor had no problem with it because she was quite chunky before and it just wasn’t a concern she said it’s normal for them to loose weight when sick. My baby is healthy again now but still had some problems with feeding even after she was healthy (it’s now been resolved and she’s thriving) I EBF (exclusively breast feed) and my mother in law says that I don’t have enough milk for my baby and that’s why she keeps unlatching (I think it’s just she gets distracted easily and as soon as she hears something she wants to see what it is) she told me that I need to start giving her formula or feed her my SIL milk because she apparently has very fatty milk. I told her no and that I know I have enough milk because when I pump I pump about 16 ounces pers session and when I let it stand there is a lot of fat at the top ( although I don’t pump often) Okay now here is where I got upset. She told my SIL about it and she brought milk to my mother in laws house behind my back and while I was cleaning up my mother in laws house she was watching my kids so that I can clean in peace and get it done quicker. Once I finished I went in her room and there she was feeding my daughter my SIL milk. I got really upset and told her that I had just fed her an hour ago and that I asked her not to feed her anything. She said she was crying and very hungry and she’s too skinny. I took my kids and went home right aways. My Sil and Mil have all texted me saying I was rude to just leave like that without saying anything and that I’m over reacting. My husband is also very upset with his mother because he said she has never been supportive of my breastfeeding because my daughter had so many foods I needed to avoid. Another one of my Sil texted me saying I’m not welcome at her house anymore until I apologize to my Mil because she was very hurt by me. I honestly don’t know if I over reacted because I’m sensitive about subject or if my mother in law is just trying to act like the victim

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/dimaondgeezer on 2024-01-13 00:40:18+00:00.

This is not the first time we've made requests of my adult (intelligent) step daughter who's working as a server living with us the last 9 months after dropping out of college. She's usually the last one home at night & closing the door between the driveway & garage has become a challenge - several (5/6) times in the last 12 weeks it is inches ajar the next day.

**There is no mechanical impediment to it closing**

Recently I explained in cold weather mice/vermin/skunk are likely to come in & nest. We asked her to close & lock the door hoping this would help follow through.

Working long hours, we often don't see her for more than a few minutes in a day. We've taken to texting photos of the messes left behind (she's a Grade-A slob) asking for her help/consideration. She constantly apologizes without modifying her behavior to the point where my wife (her mom) told her some weeks back, "I don't believe you, I don't believe you are sorry because you are not modifying your behavior". I began using this terminology myself.

This resulted in occasions where I sent photos of, "problems" only for them to be ignored. When confronted, we got the reply, "well I didn't know what to say, because if I said I was sorry you wouldn't believe it, so I just said nothing." We let her know that no reply was worse than any other option at all.

She's been on our phone bill paying $15/mth for unlimited everything with a top tier carrier - the best phone deal anyone could have, but required nudging many months for payment - again - she is currently making $1,000+/wk. It has been made clear to her that not responding to our texts and/or not staying current with her bill will result in dropping her from the plan.

My wife has been out of town this week & we've had a really good week - I've been taking favorite, "dinner requests" from her for the nights she has been home. Low drama.

Wednesday morning is literally freezing where we live & the garage door is open again - I text her a photo captioned ANNOYING! go work out & she's gone when I get home. I do not get any text response all day - nothing.

As the third parent in the mix my vote has (probably rightly) only ever carried little weight, but after suggesting she wasn't ready to go to college (& being overruled) & the following day suggesting it again when she was suddenly $4,400 short since the prior day... overruled again. You see the pattern here? No consequences... ever.

I have stated that a different approach is the only way to get a different result.

So, I lock the door she can't get in. Instead of arriving home at 10 she gets home at midnight, I'm fast asleep - she can't get in & sleeps at friends. Note we live somewhere very safe, I knew she had multiple friend options and that's what actually happened.

I told her she needs to get her own phone bill, she's off ours. Wife is livid with me - so AITA?

PS. Daughter's attitude is fine - she requested salmon for dinner tonight - I'm off to make it right now!

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/AdSpiritual1651 on 2024-01-13 00:18:02+00:00.

Throw away acc

When I was a kid my family was really poor. I used to beg my parents to go to Disney World bc I would see the ads on TV all the time. We lived about 5 hours away from it, but my family just couldn’t afford to go so we never did.

I met my fiancée and we’ve been happy. Not really the focus. His family lives in Orlando so we went down to visit. He said he had a surprise planned for me so we got in the car with him and his family and he ended up taking us to Disney World. Ngl, I started crying. I’m not a huge Disney fan anymore but I wanted to go to those parks SO BAD when I was a kid and I was heartbroken that my family couldn’t afford it. When I realized where we were going it felt like I was a little kid again and I was so happy.

His mom and sister got annoyed with me for crying and were visibly embarrassed and told me that I’m a grown woman and crying over a theme park. His family has had annual passes for years so they used to go all the time. I tried to explain that I was emotional bc of being too poor to go when I was a little kid but they were standoffish and seemed annoyed with me while we were at the park. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Freedom0824 on 2024-01-12 23:46:51+00:00.

I am getting yelled at right now by my 12 yr old because it is below freezing outside and she wants to wear a little tennis skirt to a friends party. When she walked down the stairs I said “turn back around and put some pants or leggings on but it’s freezing. She called her Mom and before she could beg to wear the skirt I said “I will not take her in that.” Her Mom agreed and said put on tights so now by daughter is angry at me.

I’m thinking I am being a good parent but it’s baffling my mind that my daughter isn’t processing the temperature on her own. I want her to know that she is beautiful no matter what she wears but when I said that to her “she rolled her eyes.” I don’t get it what happened to the days when you could parent and kids understood you were trying to keep them safe.

AITA for making my daughter change her outfit she planned on wearing because it’s freezing outside?