Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/lovelylibra813 on 2024-01-12 22:52:05+00:00.

I (26F) recently moved into a 2 bedroom apartment with my boyfriend (25M) “Austin”. We lived together before but now we have a guest room. I WFH so my home is also my office.

Austin is an only child, raised by his single mom (54F) “Emery”. He adores his mom to the end of the earth and she can do no wrong in his eyes. She left him living alone for months when he was 16/17 because she moved in with a bf, and I think my bf wants to make up for lost time.

Emery recently visited us for 16 days, arriving 3 days after we moved in. During her trip, I realized that 16 days was way past my comfort zone.

I particularly struggled with this because Emery shows zero interest in getting to know me. This was my 3rd time meeting her. With it being just the 3 of us for the first time, I realized that she barely acknowledged me. All questions and comments were directed at Austin. Body language, eye contact, etc. She was very closed off toward me. We brought her to a friend’s house for xmas and she acted like a different person. She was very talkative, bubbly, and charming with all of the friends present, and she had met them all that day.

Being her son’s first gf in 10 years, I thought she would want to get to know me, but all questions about me were asked behind my back. One of my (gay) male friends FaceTimed me and I overheard her ask Austin who I was on the phone with. I mentioned getting my antidepressants refilled and later she asked Austin “why does she take antidepressants? What trauma does she have?”. One of the first nights, she complained that she wasn’t sitting next to Austin, when I was sitting next to her. I felt self-conscious about my seat placement in my own home after that. I had a fight with Austin due to Emery having her friends fly in to stay with us and misinform us about the length of their stay. She overheard, so I apologized, and she did not speak a single word to me, in my own home, for four days.

Austin and I discussed the burning question: should there be a maximum duration for guests in our house? This would apply to all guests. I think 5 days is generous, and in our state, a guest legally becomes a tenant after staying for 7 nights in a row. I do not want to give someone else tenants rights to my home. I said that if Emery wants to stay longer, she can get a hotel for the remaining days, but she cannot afford that and Austin does not want to pay for it.

Austin said the one exception to this proposed rule would be Emery. I explained to him that’s not an exception, it is obliterating the rule because she’s the reason why I proposed it in the first place. He said this is a non-negotiable for him, and there is no maximum for how long his mom can stay with us. He said those 16 days were the happiest he’s been in 10 years. AITA for wanting to set a limit on that? It’s OUR home and I feel like we should compromise, but he will not budge. He is usually reasonable and understanding, but has tunnel vision when it comes to his mom.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/throwaway-91578 on 2024-01-12 22:46:38+00:00.

My aunt lives pretty far away and my parents and I were staying with her, my uncle and 2 cousins for a week. They’re like really obsessed with eating healthy food so they only have organic stuff and like no sugar. They also live in the countryside and there’s only one little shop near them to get food from (unless you order online which is what they do.) I’m autistic and there’s a lot of food i don’t like. I’m not picky or anything and i still eat healthy stuff but i just hate a lot of foods too.

My aunt had nothing that i like eating (apart from a few little things) so i mainly just had pot noodles from the shop (they didn’t sell much i like either) but i don’t mind because pot noodles are my favourite food because they always taste the same they never change it’s great.

My aunt offered to make me a pot noodle because i was looking after my cousins when i went to eat it though she’d put lettuce and peppers and stuff in it. Basically making it into a salad. I don’t hate salad i just don’t want it in my noodles it ruins it and it makes it taste different and ew. I told her i’m not eating it and i got kinda upset at her for messing with it. She told me that i was being unreasonable and she was just trying to make me something healthier. My parents agree with her and said i should apologise.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ThrowRAsadandalone1 on 2024-01-12 20:44:19+00:00.

Three months ago, I, 28F, gave birth to my angel baby, whom I was going to name Siobhan. My husband "Dylan" 30M and I are still grieving her loss. We lost her due to preterm premature rupture of membranes, and there was nothing the doctors could do to save her.

My mother is Irish and I was going to name my baby after my great auntie. We were so happy, and now we are devastated. My family rallied around us and so did Dylan's parents, but his sister was a different story. She has been helping Dylan, but has told me I need to get over "it", it being in reference to our daughter.

My Husband's sister "Claire" 34F, just announced her pregnancy at 20 weeks and had her gender reveal on Instagram. I'm happy for her, but sad at the same time because I never got to meet my daughter. She announced she was going to have a baby shower and sent out invitations last week. When we received the invitation, it said "Help us welcome our baby, Siobhan!"

I can admit I cried looking at the invitation. Claire and my husband's family have no connection to Ireland or the name Siobhan, and when my husband asked her why she chose the name, Claire said it sounded pretty and because we weren't able to use it she was going to take it first, and to clarify, no, she is not naming her baby after my daughter.

As much as I want to feel happy for Claire I just can't, it feels like she's rubbing the fact that my baby is dead in my face. And I RSVPd no to the invite. She called me on my private number and chewed me out for "being a sour bitch" "not being happy for her," and being "jealous over nothing." I feel like I should be happy for her but I just can't. I just want my baby girl, my Siobhan. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Middle-Lion1299 on 2024-01-12 20:26:43+00:00.

Last month I (17M) learned that my mom named me after one of my stillborn cousins. My aunt, my mom's sister, had four stillborn children and her only son is the one I was named for. My aunt never got to bring a child home. I feel like I always knew she lost kids. But I never knew her son and I shared a name. It's not a common name either. I never met another person with my name and while I always loved having a unique name, learning the origin of it makes me so uncomfortable.

As long as I can remember my aunt has hated my mom and never wanted to be near her. I never got it. My aunt was always nice to me but I could feel how awkward she was around me. I could never figure out why. It was weird because my whole family gave me a nickname and always called me that. The nickname was unrelated to my name and everybody used it for me. That wasn't so weird but I guess I did use to wonder because I remember when they hosted a party last year to celebrate me getting an award for my art, they used my nickname, which is more of a pet name, on the cake, the banner and stuff. It didn't have my first name on it at all.

I was talking to my cousin before Christmas. She's my uncle's kid and I asked her why everyone calls me by the nickname and never by my name and she told me it was hard for them to use the name and not think of my cousin. I asked her what she meant and she told me it was a whole drama and mom almost lost her whole family over it. Nobody thought it was kind and our aunt was SO pissed at mom. Apparently mom even told dad that was my name and he got no real say.

It made me feel so uncomfortable because every time they hear my name, they think of him and he never got a chance to live and grow. I know naming people after dead family members is a thing and that's fine. But an infant who was stillborn? It feels so gross to have the name. I confronted my parents and mom told me it was no big deal and I shouldn't feel ashamed that my aunt is the one who should be ashamed. I asked mom how she could be so insensitive to her sister. She didn't get over that and a week ago it all kind of bubbled over and she told me I have no right to be mad. I started yelling that she cursed me with a name that makes everyone think of a tragedy. I told her the name is more associated with him than me and that makes sense because they lost him way too soon and it will also make them think of his sisters who didn't live either.

My mom said I had no right to yell at her and I am just as bad as the rest of the family when they all treated her like shit for how she chose to name me. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Realistic-Nail-3416 on 2024-01-12 20:19:11+00:00.

Mum (60), sister(35) and myself(30) - Christian Aunt(61) - Muslim

Hey my family came over for dinner tonight and I was cooking. I’m new to my area and they have 2 butchers and 1 is halal which is closer to me so I brought my meat from there (chicken) i get more for my money than local shops like ASDA.

I cooked chicken curry and I said to my aunt that she would be able to eat this as it’s halal and she smiled. My mum who had already tasted this and was pouring the food started to go nuts at me about how I shouldn’t be eating this meat and it’s wrong to eat etc and she had a huge go and left without eating. My sister and I still ate and my aunt said I’m not in the wrong it’s just the same meat nothing added to it and not to feel bad. But my mum keeps calling and throwing names at me for this.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/curious-nouterus on 2024-01-12 20:02:38+00:00.

I (27F) have been at my job for almost 3 years now. This past Christmas I was CC’d on an email thread that asked us to submit our preference of gift card. I thought it was a nice treat for a profitable year and chose from the list in my response.

I received an email back from my boss saying that I was not intended to receive the email and it was “only for parents”. Apparently for years the company has given people who are parents a gift card of their choosing, intended to be used on their kids. We do not receive Christmas gifts from the company (which I don’t have a problem with) but people were getting a gift if they have children.

I mentioned to a co-worker (also not a parent) that this was incredibly odd and sarcastically said I felt left out since I had a medically necessary hysterectomy. She was shocked as she also had no idea this was happening every year.

I never said anything to HR but there was a company wide letter sent out apologizing for the previous “oversight” and they have “made a commitment to be inclusive of all”. The solution was that they are now not going to be giving out any gift cards.

There is big backlash over this, I don’t think anyone knows it was me specifically that spilled the beans to the non-parents but the office is really divided over whether it was wrong in the first place.

I feel like a bit of an ass since a $100 gift card is not going to make or break my Christmas and now no one gets one. But logically it does feel wrong to exclude people from a gift over a reason not related to work. So AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Prestigious-Drop1403 on 2024-01-12 19:56:41+00:00.

I honestly can’t tell if I’m over reacting or not but here goes. I have two kids (girl - 7, boy - 9) and recently I’ve started introducing them to my boyfriend’s parents. Now, boyfriend’s dad has no filter. There is nothing he will not say. They were over at our house yesterday and we were sitting at the kitchen table with my daughter before we left to go to a restaurant for dinner.

He was saying the most vile things. Terribly racist, homophobic, sexist jokes. Every swear word you can imagine, the N word, all of it. Boyfriend is laughing, swearing, going along with it. I end up taking my daughter out of the room and keeping her busy until we go out to eat.

We get to the restaurant. He openly mocks my 9 year old son, tells him he’s a girl because he has long hair, jokes about him wearing a sports bra. Makes jokes about my daughter playing hockey and how girls can’t play sports. Everyone is laughing except me, my son, and daughter. I’m desperately making comments to try and diffuse. At one point he asks me to describe how tight the ass was of a woman who I had been referencing in a story… on and on with this stuff.

I get home and I can’t sleep all night. I’m so mad at myself for not calling it out, for not saying something while it was happening. I texted my Bf, I said going forward I’m gonna keep the kids out of his families stuff, it’s not my style, I don’t want the kids around it… whatever. A huge fight follows, he says it’s just the way he is, that he has good intentions, he doesn’t mean anything by it. He says it’s my responsibility to teach the kids that different people exist, that they need to learn that that’s how some people are and that’s the way it is. I say no, it’s my job to protect my kids now, to show my daughter that she doesn’t need to tolerate “old creepy men” that say offensive things just to avoid making people uncomfortable. That my son shouldn’t have to put up with a grown man marking jokes at his expense and have adults laugh at him when he can’t defend himself.

I ask him why he isn’t as mad as I am that his dad is saying that stuff so freely around kids. Why isn’t he angry that his dad is making horrible sexual comments to his son’s girlfriend. I say that any adult that says such vile things so freely around small children is a piece of shit. I know that it’s hard for my boyfriend to feel like I’m attacking his dad, but it makes me so angry and I really think he is a disgusting man.

I’m very open to advice and opinions. We are on the verge of breaking up over this!

Edit to add: I’m quite literally reading every single comment and it’s making me emotional to have so much validation that I was right in setting this boundary. I’m pulling pieces from each response and it makes me feel so confident in what I’ve done, and how I can move forward in conversations with my kids about what happened and how I’m going to fix things with them.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/locustempo on 2024-01-12 19:37:54+00:00.

i (21f) live in an off-campus house with two other roommates. this conversation happened between one of them (22f).

a few weeks ago my boyfriend was over and he stepped on the trash can pedal to open the lid, and a piece of the plastic broke off. the lid now opens halfway. not all the way like it did before, but it still works perfectly fine. i told my roommate what happened and she insisted on getting a whole new trash can. i told her the one that we have now works fine, but if she wants to get a new one than i will pitch in on it.

the trash can is just a regular step pedal trash can. she said that it was a few years old, it also has some rusting on it. it was bound to break at any point and one of us could have just as easily broken it had we stepped on it too hard. they’re not meant to last forever.

she sent me a $65 trash can that i thought was entirely too expensive, but ultimately i was willing to split it between the three of us (me, her, and our third roommate).

a few nights ago she texted me and this conversation happened:

she asked if i could send her money for the trash can and said it’s $45. i divided this by 3 and sent 15. she told me that i was mistaken and i owe her $45. her reasonings for me paying this is because my boyfriend was the one who broke it and it was hers that she brought from her previous apartment. she said she was “being nice” for even offering to pay $15 for it. she also said that she wasn’t going to ask our third roommate to pay at all because it wasn’t her fault that it broke. she claimed that the one that we have now she paid $60 for, but i found the exact one at walmart for $35 so i believe this was a lie.

i responded to her with my reasonings: i ultimately told her i will send her $15 more ($30 total) because that is what the value of the trash can we have now is. i am completing an internship and not working at the moment, so $45 is not something i want to spend my limited money on to simply throw our garbage away. i’d just be paying for an upgraded trash can that she would ultimately keep when we move out. i also don’t see why it’s not fair for our third roommate to pitch in if she wants an upgraded trash can, because it’s a shared item that we all use in the home. i could ask my boyfriend to send some money for it, but i don’t think my boyfriend should have to pay for it at all personally. at the end of the day, he doesn’t live here, and it was just an accident that happened from regular wear and tear to a trash can.

i sent her the money but her and i haven’t spoken since this - she’s been ignoring me at home. AITA in this situation?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ThrowRAsadandalone1 on 2024-01-12 20:44:19+00:00.

Three months ago, I, 28F, gave birth to my angel baby, whom I was going to name Siobhan. My husband "Dylan" 30M and I are still grieving her loss. We lost her due to preterm premature rupture of membranes, and there was nothing the doctors could do to save her.

My mother is Irish and I was going to name my baby after my great auntie. We were so happy, and now we are devastated. My family rallied around us and so did Dylan's parents, but his sister was a different story. She has been helping Dylan, but has told me I need to get over "it", it being in reference to our daughter.

My Husband's sister "Claire" 34F, just announced her pregnancy at 20 weeks and had her gender reveal on Instagram. I'm happy for her, but sad at the same time because I never got to meet my daughter. She announced she was going to have a baby shower and sent out invitations last week. When we received the invitation, it said "Help us welcome our baby, Siobhan!"

I can admit I cried looking at the invitation. Claire and my husband's family have no connection to Ireland or the name Siobhan, and when my husband asked her why she chose the name, Claire said it sounded pretty and because we weren't able to use it she was going to take it first, and to clarify, no, she is not naming her baby after my daughter.

As much as I want to feel happy for Claire I just can't, it feels like she's rubbing the fact that my baby is dead in my face. And I RSVPd no to the invite. She called me on my private number and chewed me out for "being a sour bitch" "not being happy for her," and being "jealous over nothing." I feel like I should be happy for her but I just can't. I just want my baby girl, my Siobhan. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Expensive_Aide_811 on 2024-01-12 19:27:34+00:00.

I (18M) attend college four hours away from home. This is my first year as a college student, and during the first semester, I have come to the realisation that it's either I've been too reliant on my Mom and dad, or they've been "overprotective" of me. Before moving away for college, I relied on my parents for everything; I depended on them. I didn't know how to cook, clean, look after my money, or handle any situation I got into. I went to my parents to get me out of this.

When I arrived for college, I didn't realise how tough it was to be alone; I always wanted my parents. I quickly realised I needed to grow up and be independent. I've now learned to look after my money, pay my bills, and stay organised. I'm in the process of learning how to cook, but I'm in the burning everything phase. Now I love it, I'm independent and responsible for everything. I live on campus and my college allows students to stay during breaks. Two weeks before the Christmas break, I FaceTime my parents and let them know I'm not going home for the holidays; they laughed for so long. I explained I'm serious and I'm staying. Since then I explained to them numerous times I'm not coming home for the holidays. This was my first Christmas away from my parents and I loved it. It's the first Christmas in ages that I enjoyed.

My parents were pissed at me for not coming home for the holidays, they're still pissed of with me and they're treating me like shit because I didn't come home even though I warned them plenty of times. Was I the asshole for not coming home for the holidays?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Middle-Lion1299 on 2024-01-12 20:26:43+00:00.

Last month I (17M) learned that my mom named me after one of my stillborn cousins. My aunt, my mom's sister, had four stillborn children and her only son is the one I was named for. My aunt never got to bring a child home. I feel like I always knew she lost kids. But I never knew her son and I shared a name. It's not a common name either. I never met another person with my name and while I always loved having a unique name, learning the origin of it makes me so uncomfortable.

As long as I can remember my aunt has hated my mom and never wanted to be near her. I never got it. My aunt was always nice to me but I could feel how awkward she was around me. I could never figure out why. It was weird because my whole family gave me a nickname and always called me that. The nickname was unrelated to my name and everybody used it for me. That wasn't so weird but I guess I did use to wonder because I remember when they hosted a party last year to celebrate me getting an award for my art, they used my nickname, which is more of a pet name, on the cake, the banner and stuff. It didn't have my first name on it at all.

I was talking to my cousin before Christmas. She's my uncle's kid and I asked her why everyone calls me by the nickname and never by my name and she told me it was hard for them to use the name and not think of my cousin. I asked her what she meant and she told me it was a whole drama and mom almost lost her whole family over it. Nobody thought it was kind and our aunt was SO pissed at mom. Apparently mom even told dad that was my name and he got no real say.

It made me feel so uncomfortable because every time they hear my name, they think of him and he never got a chance to live and grow. I know naming people after dead family members is a thing and that's fine. But an infant who was stillborn? It feels so gross to have the name. I confronted my parents and mom told me it was no big deal and I shouldn't feel ashamed that my aunt is the one who should be ashamed. I asked mom how she could be so insensitive to her sister. She didn't get over that and a week ago it all kind of bubbled over and she told me I have no right to be mad. I started yelling that she cursed me with a name that makes everyone think of a tragedy. I told her the name is more associated with him than me and that makes sense because they lost him way too soon and it will also make them think of his sisters who didn't live either.

My mom said I had no right to yell at her and I am just as bad as the rest of the family when they all treated her like shit for how she chose to name me. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/KindConcert4788 on 2024-01-12 18:14:54+00:00.

My mom got married to "Alan" 2 years ago. I (15f) was 13 at the time and Alan's two kids were "Emma" (9f) and "Noah" (3m). Noah was diagnosed with cancer last year and my mom and her husband were told there's some kind of different treatment he could get in another country and if they could raise the money, it would be better for Noah than the treatments available in the US. My mom and Alan could not afford it so they have been sending him to treatment here and saving for Noah's treatment. They made a lot of cut backs and asked that Emma and I give over any money we get so they can afford this. They have about 70% or something now and that has come from cutting out a lot. We eat very basic meals, they cancelled our internet and we didn't do anything for our birthdays or Christmas since the saving started. Any money that comes into the house goes on essentials or the treatment fund.

My dad died 9 years ago and my paternal family stayed part of my life. They know what has been going on and they have been buying me little treats and taking me out to eat when they can. They also give me money every couple of weeks so I can have something if I ever need anything. I have been hiding that money because I know I would be told to give it up. I carry it everywhere because Emma is the type to snoop and then tell her dad. She has asked me before why I don't babysit to help make more money for her brother. She would work if she could but she's only 11.

I spent some of the money from my grandparents over the weekend. I got my hair cut and I bought my best friend a gift for her birthday. I also got some food and spent some time at my dad's grave. My mom noticed my haircut and asked where the money came from and she realized I was lying when I said I had been with my grandparents and they took me because I forgot they were out of town. So I told her they gave me some money to get some stuff done. She told me a haircut was not a need and how selfish could I be. Alan heard her scolding me and he jumped in and asked what the hell was wrong with me. He told me this family has to pull together for Noah and I am acting like I don't care whether Noah gets this treatment or not. Of course by the end of the day Emma heard and freaked out. But then my mom ran into my best friends mom a couple of days ago, and she told mom my gift to my best friend was so sweet and thoughtful.

I was sat down and yelled at for spending the money on not just me but on others. Alan asked me how I could give the money for a gift that means nothing when it could have gone to save "my brother's" life. I yelled back that it's not my job to pay for Noah's treatments and I'm already sacrificing but I refuse to go all out the way they want me to. I told them the money came from my family, family who was nothing to them and they need to let it go. Alan called me a selfish little bitch and he told me I should be ashamed of my repulsive behavior. Now Emma keeps telling me I'm a bad person.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Internal_Juice_2482 on 2024-01-12 19:24:38+00:00.

My husband and I were married for 1 year now and he has a son jason 19 in college. His son lives in dorms mostly and sometimes comes to our house and sometimes goes to his moms house. We have a pretty fine relationship not close but not on bad terms either like we’re fine imo for our situation.

Now my husband asked me to go out for a hangout with his son and I was kinda weirded out? Like okay here’s a thing I know marrying my husband meant his family is now mine and all but I still see no reason for us to hangout alone. I asked my husband why he wants that and he told me so that Jason and I build a close bond like mother and son….first of all jason doesn’t even hangout with his own bio mother as much as I know he’s not a mama’s boy and let’s be realistic I cannot be a mother a boy who met me when he was 17 and didn’t even live with me + has a living mother.

So I told my husband I really don’t like the idea and that me and Jason could get close through family dinners and events instead of setting up something for just the 2 of us specifically. Like I am sure jason would prefer a hangout with his friends or his bio mother or father before me. But my husband is saying that I am not trying to even involve myself in the family and is now mad.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/RoommateProjection37 on 2024-01-12 18:06:55+00:00.

I (24M) live with a few of my friends. One of them, R (23M), had family members growing up that had bad alcohol problems and therefore doesn't drink. I asked him before we moved in together if he was OK with that because I do like to drink from time to time. He said he was and it hasn't been a problem the past few months.

My drinking habits are well controlled - I don't drink often, once a month at *most* and usually closer to every 2-3 months. I don't wake up, go throughout my day, or have my boredom interrupted with "Man I could use a drink." I don't crave alcohol, I'm not a "Beer or two after work" type of guy" because I don't like the taste of alcohol that much, I just enjoy it's effects. If I'm going through emotional problems, I especially stay away from alcohol - that's just bad juju to combine the two.

When I do drink its on the weekend, I have nothing important going on the next day, and I'm in the right mood where I think "Man it'd be kinda fun to bump some tunes, play some video games, and chat with some friends *and* have a few drinks." I make a few cocktails, measure my intake, and usually have about 8-10 shots worth - falls under "binge drinking" but considering how rarely I do it I'm really not concerned about it. I've asked if I'm disruptive and have been told no, I am not - mostly because those nights I'm in bed a solid 2 hours before the rest of them go to bed.

Yesterday R pulled me to the side and did an "intervention" on me about my "drinking problem." I wondered what he was talking about and eventually it devolved into a fight where I told him to "Stop projecting your fucking trauma onto me dude" because it was basically him comparing polishing off a handle every night to taking half the year to finish off a single bottle.

We're not talking now and he is obviously mad at me which makes me wonder AITA for what I said?

Edit - I am not drinking 8-10 shots of straight liquor, back to back, and getting completely obliterated in 30 minutes. I fucking hate the taste of straight liquor enough I physically cannot do this. This is 8-10 shots, because I measure out my drinks with a 1.5oz jigger, in mixed drinks over the course of 4-5 hours.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/KindConcert4788 on 2024-01-12 18:14:54+00:00.

My mom got married to "Alan" 2 years ago. I (15f) was 13 at the time and Alan's two kids were "Emma" (9f) and "Noah" (3m). Noah was diagnosed with cancer last year and my mom and her husband were told there's some kind of different treatment he could get in another country and if they could raise the money, it would be better for Noah than the treatments available in the US. My mom and Alan could not afford it so they have been sending him to treatment here and saving for Noah's treatment. They made a lot of cut backs and asked that Emma and I give over any money we get so they can afford this. They have about 70% or something now and that has come from cutting out a lot. We eat very basic meals, they cancelled our internet and we didn't do anything for our birthdays or Christmas since the saving started. Any money that comes into the house goes on essentials or the treatment fund.

My dad died 9 years ago and my paternal family stayed part of my life. They know what has been going on and they have been buying me little treats and taking me out to eat when they can. They also give me money every couple of weeks so I can have something if I ever need anything. I have been hiding that money because I know I would be told to give it up. I carry it everywhere because Emma is the type to snoop and then tell her dad. She has asked me before why I don't babysit to help make more money for her brother. She would work if she could but she's only 11.

I spent some of the money from my grandparents over the weekend. I got my hair cut and I bought my best friend a gift for her birthday. I also got some food and spent some time at my dad's grave. My mom noticed my haircut and asked where the money came from and she realized I was lying when I said I had been with my grandparents and they took me because I forgot they were out of town. So I told her they gave me some money to get some stuff done. She told me a haircut was not a need and how selfish could I be. Alan heard her scolding me and he jumped in and asked what the hell was wrong with me. He told me this family has to pull together for Noah and I am acting like I don't care whether Noah gets this treatment or not. Of course by the end of the day Emma heard and freaked out. But then my mom ran into my best friends mom a couple of days ago, and she told mom my gift to my best friend was so sweet and thoughtful.

I was sat down and yelled at for spending the money on not just me but on others. Alan asked me how I could give the money for a gift that means nothing when it could have gone to save "my brother's" life. I yelled back that it's not my job to pay for Noah's treatments and I'm already sacrificing but I refuse to go all out the way they want me to. I told them the money came from my family, family who was nothing to them and they need to let it go. Alan called me a selfish little bitch and he told me I should be ashamed of my repulsive behavior. Now Emma keeps telling me I'm a bad person.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Ok_Smile_2128 on 2024-01-12 16:34:07+00:00.

Hello I am married woman for 6 years and I have a step daughter she is 25 now and she graduated college too. She used to live in another state with her grandparents because of her college so we didn’t spend so much time together other than so eventual family gatherings and the times she came to sleepover.

Now she always had dream of running cosmetics company/brand type of thing and she wanted to start her line of makeup stuff like lip glosses , lip scrubs and all of that now through social media. When my husband told me this I was like great she should go for it. The problem is she has absolutely no resources to start this and I mean money. She never had a proper job so she doesn’t have her own income.

I make more money than her father okay and he can’t give her the proper fundings since she needs alot and at the same time it will be a financial toll on him so he asked me to fund her. I did my research on what she might need like the material she would need and shipping company payment and discovered she might need at least need 10K pounds (2K in us dollars and I prefer not to disclose my country). She even contacted me for help and I told them I can pay this amount if I either get right to a percentage of her brand if I become long term investor to her brand. Or if she just wants my help for short term she can sign a contract that states she’ll have to pay me back one my short term help is not needed.

They both disagreed and my husband started attacking me for treating carla (step daughter) like a business partner I told him that’s literally business we are getting to and told him that later suggestion is actually generous of me I’ll let her have all the rights to her brand just pay me back. Carla told me she will pay me back but doesn’t want to sign any contract and I told her that her tantrum when she discovered she is not getting free fundings is the reason I’d need to have a contract. We had this lengthy conversation and they ended up not agreeing on my terms so she didn’t go further with her brand.

My husband is still mad at me then my MIL called me to say I am cold-hearted for not helping carla and that I involve business in everything. I just don’t understand why are they making Carla’s lack of financial independence my problem when they can have her work and gain money then try to move forward with her dreams instead of asking me to fund her dreams for free. Now they are shifting this as if I don't consider Carla family because I help my bio daughter business through my company and while that's true my bio daughter and I have an agreement of giving me 10% of the profit so I don't fund her for free either.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/RoommateProjection37 on 2024-01-12 18:06:55+00:00.

I (24M) live with a few of my friends. One of them, R (23M), had family members growing up that had bad alcohol problems and therefore doesn't drink. I asked him before we moved in together if he was OK with that because I do like to drink from time to time. He said he was and it hasn't been a problem the past few months.

My drinking habits are well controlled - I don't drink often, once a month at *most* and usually closer to every 2-3 months. I don't wake up, go throughout my day, or have my boredom interrupted with "Man I could use a drink." I don't crave alcohol, I'm not a "Beer or two after work" type of guy" because I don't like the taste of alcohol that much, I just enjoy it's effects. If I'm going through emotional problems, I especially stay away from alcohol - that's just bad juju to combine the two.

When I do drink its on the weekend, I have nothing important going on the next day, and I'm in the right mood where I think "Man it'd be kinda fun to bump some tunes, play some video games, and chat with some friends *and* have a few drinks." I make a few cocktails, measure my intake, and usually have about 8-10 shots worth - falls under "binge drinking" but considering how rarely I do it I'm really not concerned about it. I've asked if I'm disruptive and have been told no, I am not - mostly because those nights I'm in bed a solid 2 hours before the rest of them go to bed.

Yesterday R pulled me to the side and did an "intervention" on me about my "drinking problem." I wondered what he was talking about and eventually it devolved into a fight where I told him to "Stop projecting your fucking trauma onto me dude" because it was basically him comparing polishing off a handle every night to taking half the year to finish off a single bottle.

We're not talking now and he is obviously mad at me which makes me wonder AITA for what I said?

Edit - I am not drinking 8-10 shots of straight liquor, back to back, and getting completely obliterated in 30 minutes. I fucking hate the taste of straight liquor enough I physically cannot do this. This is 8-10 shots, because I measure out my drinks with a 1.5oz jigger, in mixed drinks over the course of 4-5 hours.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/thowawaycups on 2024-01-12 16:21:39+00:00.

When my (21f) grandma died I asked if I could have her crockery, especially the tea cups. We always had tea when I was over, and I strongly associate them with her. I think they're pretty too, delicate with flowers. I got them 6 years ago, and I've been so careful with them.

My boyfriend (25m) has butterfingers. He drops at least 3-5 things a day, ranging from not a huge deal (his toothbrush, food, books) to a pain to deal with (raw eggs, a holder full of toothpicks, glass). We're cleaning something off the floor almost daily.

I have tea at least twice a day, and he wanted to join me. He broke a cup the first time. A saucer the second. So I went to a secondhand store and got our own set of dishes, ones I didn't mind if they got broken, and put my grandma's cups away.

I feel like I'm trying to include him, but I don't feel it's wrong want to keep the set (a memory from my grandma). My boyfriend feels as if I don't trust him, and that it's unfair to treat him differently for something he can't help.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Ok_Smile_2128 on 2024-01-12 16:34:07+00:00.

Hello I am married woman for 6 years and I have a step daughter she is 25 now and she graduated college too. She used to live in another state with her grandparents because of her college so we didn’t spend so much time together other than so eventual family gatherings and the times she came to sleepover.

Now she always had dream of running cosmetics company/brand type of thing and she wanted to start her line of makeup stuff like lip glosses , lip scrubs and all of that now through social media. When my husband told me this I was like great she should go for it. The problem is she has absolutely no resources to start this and I mean money. She never had a proper job so she doesn’t have her own income.

I make more money than her father okay and he can’t give her the proper fundings since she needs alot and at the same time it will be a financial toll on him so he asked me to fund her. I did my research on what she might need like the material she would need and shipping company payment and discovered she might need at least need 10K pounds (2K in us dollars and I prefer not to disclose my country). She even contacted me for help and I told them I can pay this amount if I either get right to a percentage of her brand if I become long term investor to her brand. Or if she just wants my help for short term she can sign a contract that states she’ll have to pay me back one my short term help is not needed.

They both disagreed and my husband started attacking me for treating carla (step daughter) like a business partner I told him that’s literally business we are getting to and told him that later suggestion is actually generous of me I’ll let her have all the rights to her brand just pay me back. Carla told me she will pay me back but doesn’t want to sign any contract and I told her that her tantrum when she discovered she is not getting free fundings is the reason I’d need to have a contract. We had this lengthy conversation and they ended up not agreeing on my terms so she didn’t go further with her brand.

My husband is still mad at me then my MIL called me to say I am cold-hearted for not helping carla and that I involve business in everything. I just don’t understand why are they making Carla’s lack of financial independence my problem when they can have her work and gain money then try to move forward with her dreams instead of asking me to fund her dreams for free. Now they are shifting this as if I don't consider Carla family because I help my bio daughter business through my company and while that's true my bio daughter and I have an agreement of giving me 10% of the profit so I don't fund her for free either.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Ok-Lemon-7062 on 2024-01-12 14:17:59+00:00.

I 24F went out with my friends including Eden to a bar yesterday. Eden found out that her boyfriend had an affair and had been quite upset this past week. To cheer her up, a bunch of us decided to dress up and go to a nice bar. Eden approached a group of guys and started talking to one of them at the bar and he bought us a round of shots, and had them reviewed to our table before we could say anything. I also drank two drinks before that shot so I was nearing tipsy. I am a lightweight so I decided to cut myself off after another drink. Eden insisted on us all staying for another round and I don’t really remember how much I had after that. However, we all left together and I got my boyfriend Ted to pick me up from the station.

Today, I told Ted about last night and included the guy who bought us a round and Ted got upset, as accepting the drink made it look like I was ‘available’. I told Ted that I didn’t speak to any of the guys at the bar and he bought the drinks for Eden’s sake, not me. I just want an outside perspective.

ETA- When I said I don’t remember how much I had after, I do remember I had two more drinks after the shot but I don’t know how much alcohol was in them as I didn’t order them. Me and my friends were buying rounds. I do remember the whole night otherwise.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/thowawaycups on 2024-01-12 16:21:39+00:00.

When my (21f) grandma died I asked if I could have her crockery, especially the tea cups. We always had tea when I was over, and I strongly associate them with her. I think they're pretty too, delicate with flowers. I got them 6 years ago, and I've been so careful with them.

My boyfriend (25m) has butterfingers. He drops at least 3-5 things a day, ranging from not a huge deal (his toothbrush, food, books) to a pain to deal with (raw eggs, a holder full of toothpicks, glass). We're cleaning something off the floor almost daily.

I have tea at least twice a day, and he wanted to join me. He broke a cup the first time. A saucer the second. So I went to a secondhand store and got our own set of dishes, ones I didn't mind if they got broken, and put my grandma's cups away.

I feel like I'm trying to include him, but I don't feel it's wrong want to keep the set (a memory from my grandma). My boyfriend feels as if I don't trust him, and that it's unfair to treat him differently for something he can't help.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/One-Storm5245 on 2024-01-12 14:17:37+00:00.

I mean, it's a pretty cut and dry situation in my opinion but due to some reactions I've gotten I guess I'm looking to see if I might have overreacted. Throwaway account of course.

So I was raised very religious in the South of the United States. One of the big parts of my upbringing was an emphasis on hell and how I would burn there for all eternity unless I had "accepted Jesus into my heart". My parents and other adults at the church would go on and on about hellfire and torture for as long as you'd listen and as a result I grew up terrified of dying without being fully confirmed in my faith.

I would literally ask god to save me and try to confirm my beliefs in Jesus multiple times a day to stave off the damnation I thought was potentially coming my way. I would have nightmares where I died and went to hell forever. It was always on my mind and it messed me up from around 4 years old and onward.

Finally I went to college, found other views and opinions and left the religion.

Cut to today, I (37m) and my wife (35f) are both atheists. Our daughter is now 4 and my parents came over to visit us. I was in the kitchen with my wife when I hear my daughter burst into tears in the other room. My wife and I rush in to find my mother talking with her and basically telling her all about "how to avoid hell".

I was incredibly angry and kicked my parents out. My daughter is still having nightmares just like I did. My parents say I'm being unfair and that they are trying to save her soul from their made up torture prison and that 'their granddaughter's soul is more important than my objections' I'm not having it. I've cut off all contact with them and my wife is in agreement.

Some friends when told the story, say I'm being too harsh on my parents as they are only trying to help, I say I specifically told them to not do things like this and the consequences are natural. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Nervous-Discount-150 on 2024-01-12 14:04:46+00:00.

I am in my late 50s, and in general last month with the holiday and then my job being rough the beginnings of the month I am tired. Today I able to take a half day and this weekend I plan on doing nothing. This seems to be a problem.

I got a call today asking if I could babysit the grandkids tomorrow night. They have to visit her uncle and doesn’t want to take the kids to the nursing home. I told my DIL no. She asked why and I told her I need to recharge. DIL asked if I truly was doing nothing and I told her yes. This started and argument where she thinks I am being selfish and I can easily do this since I am doing nothing. I told her my answer was again no.

My son is also mad at me now, and I am wondering if I should suck it up and babysit.

Edit: if you have a question it has probably been answered in a comment. I have a lot of comments and I realized I am just restating the same stuff over and over

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Nelavi1998 on 2024-01-12 15:50:41+00:00.

My boyfriend (25M) is really into this card game called Magic The Gathering (MTG).He has tried to get me (25F) to play with him multiple times, and I genuinely try but it's just not my type of game. I have told him multiple times that it's just not my thing. We enjoy other things together, we play Catan and Dungeons and Dragons together with a group of friends. My breaking point came during Christmas. We're a little short on money, so I gave him a Nintendo Gift card. He gave me an MTG deck. I don't wanna break his heart by telling him how much I hate the gift. I feel like it's a present for him and not for me. He now keeps pushing me to go to the local MTG store so the employees can teach me how to play. I know how to play, I just don't like it.

I can't help but feel like maybe I'm the asshole because maybe I'm just not putting in enough effort in engaging in his hobbies, perhaps I could just pretend I like it for him.

Edit: I wanna clarify that my boyfriend is in no way controlling or abusive. This is the only aspect of our relationship in which he's ever been this insistent and it's because he loves spending time with me so much he doesn't wanna choose between his special interest and spending time with his girlfriend.

Update: Thanks for the suggestions everyone. I decided to have a chat with my boyfriend and let him know that I don't like MTG and have no interest in playing any more, but I enjoy the art and the lore and will go support him when he plays if he wants. He said he understood that I didn't like it before but he perceived I was giving him "false hope" by continuing to attempt to get into it. I explained that I was only trying to force myself to like it because I felt it was very important to him. All in all I think I should have never tried to force myself to like it after I told him I didn't like it. Regarding the Christmas gift, he explained his intention was for me to appreciate the art and that he made it because he knows I like LOTR. I explained that from my POV it just looked like he was giving me a deck of a game I have told him I don't wanna play anymore, and that as thoughtful as he thought he was being it just didn't land well. In the end, we agreed that I can give him the cards back and keep the box (it's a really nice box) to store my spell cards from Dungeons and Dragons, and that I don't have to play MTG anymore. Thanks for the advice to everyone except to the people telling me to break up with my boyfriend over a small miscommunication.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Birkin92 on 2024-01-12 13:37:29+00:00.

My mother's 60th is coming up. She is asking to go away on a cruise with both my sister and I in May. I moved out about two years ago into my house.

Fast forward - I (31 M) have a new gf. We started dating two months ago. She's absolutely everything I've been searching for and then more. It's the ideal and perfect relationship. She has to go to Colorado also in May for two weeks...

It is unlikely I can take off for an entire month. I've been on cruises before with mom/sis and as much as I want to celebrate her 60th I want to be with the gf and finally live my life. I've never felt such happiness before with another individual... And I want to keep chasing that. I'm being called selfish and "choosing some new girl over family". She also guilt trips me with the "you know I'll be dead some day right?" line.

AITA for choosing to go on a trip with my new partner than my own mother?

Editing more context about mom from a comment I replied to

"She's manipulative and controlling. If she doesn't get her way she has a temper tantrum and emotionally abuses whoever. I've unfortunately learned bad behaviors from her and started to unlearn those. When I'm with mom, I get triggered or I resort to a bad emotional state. I've reached a point where I love my mom but I also can't stand her. It's hard to explain. I want to not upset her but I also don't want to go on another cruise when we just went on one in... July."

She also wouldn't let my dad attend my white coat ceremony and played the well if he is there I won't go card. And then he died from covid 2 years after my graduation. My biggest regret in life was not inviting him and letting my mom win that battle.