Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Ok-Lemon-7062 on 2024-01-12 14:17:59+00:00.

I 24F went out with my friends including Eden to a bar yesterday. Eden found out that her boyfriend had an affair and had been quite upset this past week. To cheer her up, a bunch of us decided to dress up and go to a nice bar. Eden approached a group of guys and started talking to one of them at the bar and he bought us a round of shots, and had them reviewed to our table before we could say anything. I also drank two drinks before that shot so I was nearing tipsy. I am a lightweight so I decided to cut myself off after another drink. Eden insisted on us all staying for another round and I don’t really remember how much I had after that. However, we all left together and I got my boyfriend Ted to pick me up from the station.

Today, I told Ted about last night and included the guy who bought us a round and Ted got upset, as accepting the drink made it look like I was ‘available’. I told Ted that I didn’t speak to any of the guys at the bar and he bought the drinks for Eden’s sake, not me. I just want an outside perspective.

ETA- When I said I don’t remember how much I had after, I do remember I had two more drinks after the shot but I don’t know how much alcohol was in them as I didn’t order them. Me and my friends were buying rounds. I do remember the whole night otherwise.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Candid_Document8942 on 2024-01-12 13:12:28+00:00.

I 36F am married to Dan 34M. We have discussed having kids in the future. I found out last year though that I have a low chance of naturally having a kid.

Fertility treatments in my area are very pricey and my insurance only covers it after a certain time of trying naturally. I am pretty ‘old’ so my chance of naturally conceiving is low anyway, but I initially didn’t want kids, its only changed since meeting Dan. We saved up for a round of IVF but it was unsuccessful and a sore topic for the both of us. Dan wants to discuss it, but its something I struggle with.

My MIL is a lovely woman, but she can be invasive. My SIL had a miscarriage and my MIL was very helpful, staying with my SIL and helping out around the house but she has a fix it mentality and asked my SIL about trying again, adoption, fertility treatments pretty soon after. She didn’t mean it in a malicious way but I know if I told her she would have the same questions for me that I am not prepared to answer.

I initially told my MIL we both didn’t want kids but she kept asking me why. I told her Dan didn’t want kids actually to get her to stop.

She started asking Dan why and he is upset at me now because I lied to his mom.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/One-Storm5245 on 2024-01-12 14:17:37+00:00.

I mean, it's a pretty cut and dry situation in my opinion but due to some reactions I've gotten I guess I'm looking to see if I might have overreacted. Throwaway account of course.

So I was raised very religious in the South of the United States. One of the big parts of my upbringing was an emphasis on hell and how I would burn there for all eternity unless I had "accepted Jesus into my heart". My parents and other adults at the church would go on and on about hellfire and torture for as long as you'd listen and as a result I grew up terrified of dying without being fully confirmed in my faith.

I would literally ask god to save me and try to confirm my beliefs in Jesus multiple times a day to stave off the damnation I thought was potentially coming my way. I would have nightmares where I died and went to hell forever. It was always on my mind and it messed me up from around 4 years old and onward.

Finally I went to college, found other views and opinions and left the religion.

Cut to today, I (37m) and my wife (35f) are both atheists. Our daughter is now 4 and my parents came over to visit us. I was in the kitchen with my wife when I hear my daughter burst into tears in the other room. My wife and I rush in to find my mother talking with her and basically telling her all about "how to avoid hell".

I was incredibly angry and kicked my parents out. My daughter is still having nightmares just like I did. My parents say I'm being unfair and that they are trying to save her soul from their made up torture prison and that 'their granddaughter's soul is more important than my objections' I'm not having it. I've cut off all contact with them and my wife is in agreement.

Some friends when told the story, say I'm being too harsh on my parents as they are only trying to help, I say I specifically told them to not do things like this and the consequences are natural. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Nervous-Discount-150 on 2024-01-12 14:04:46+00:00.

I am in my late 50s, and in general last month with the holiday and then my job being rough the beginnings of the month I am tired. Today I able to take a half day and this weekend I plan on doing nothing. This seems to be a problem.

I got a call today asking if I could babysit the grandkids tomorrow night. They have to visit her uncle and doesn’t want to take the kids to the nursing home. I told my DIL no. She asked why and I told her I need to recharge. DIL asked if I truly was doing nothing and I told her yes. This started and argument where she thinks I am being selfish and I can easily do this since I am doing nothing. I told her my answer was again no.

My son is also mad at me now, and I am wondering if I should suck it up and babysit.

Edit: if you have a question it has probably been answered in a comment. I have a lot of comments and I realized I am just restating the same stuff over and over

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Birkin92 on 2024-01-12 13:37:29+00:00.

My mother's 60th is coming up. She is asking to go away on a cruise with both my sister and I in May. I moved out about two years ago into my house.

Fast forward - I (31 M) have a new gf. We started dating two months ago. She's absolutely everything I've been searching for and then more. It's the ideal and perfect relationship. She has to go to Colorado also in May for two weeks...

It is unlikely I can take off for an entire month. I've been on cruises before with mom/sis and as much as I want to celebrate her 60th I want to be with the gf and finally live my life. I've never felt such happiness before with another individual... And I want to keep chasing that. I'm being called selfish and "choosing some new girl over family". She also guilt trips me with the "you know I'll be dead some day right?" line.

AITA for choosing to go on a trip with my new partner than my own mother?

Editing more context about mom from a comment I replied to

"She's manipulative and controlling. If she doesn't get her way she has a temper tantrum and emotionally abuses whoever. I've unfortunately learned bad behaviors from her and started to unlearn those. When I'm with mom, I get triggered or I resort to a bad emotional state. I've reached a point where I love my mom but I also can't stand her. It's hard to explain. I want to not upset her but I also don't want to go on another cruise when we just went on one in... July."

She also wouldn't let my dad attend my white coat ceremony and played the well if he is there I won't go card. And then he died from covid 2 years after my graduation. My biggest regret in life was not inviting him and letting my mom win that battle.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Bright_Ad_2563 on 2024-01-12 12:18:30+00:00.

I 25F have a friend Ava 25F. She is getting married and asked me to be her bridesmaid and I agreed. Her theme for bridesmaids was a sunset, so she asked us all to wear yellow/orange/pink dresses to match the theme.

I went to my brother’s wedding a few years ago and my SIL’s bridesmaid theme was a yellow dress. It is a beautiful dress and was very expensive for me as a college student. My brother agreed to pay more than half which made it a lot more affordable but that dress isn’t wearable outside of special occasions and I’ve only worn it once outside the wedding.

I told Ava I had a dress for her wedding when we were out with a friend and my friend asked oh is it the one you wore for SIL’s and brothers wedding? So I said yeah and showed them a picture of me in the dress.

Ava then said she would want me to get a new dress for her wedding as I’ve worn my yellow one before and people have seen it. I was confused by this as even if people have seen it it doesn’t matter?

My SIL was the year above me in school so we do share mutual friends that I saw at her wedding and some of them will be at Ava’s wedding but I don’t want to buy a brand new dress. Bridesmaid dresses are expensive and I don’t get wear out of them afterwards so they sit in my closet.

I haven’t been to many weddings though, only my brothers that I remember and a few cousins when I was much younger so maybe this is some wedding etiquette that I need to brush up on?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Candid_Document8942 on 2024-01-12 13:12:28+00:00.

I 36F am married to Dan 34M. We have discussed having kids in the future. I found out last year though that I have a low chance of naturally having a kid.

Fertility treatments in my area are very pricey and my insurance only covers it after a certain time of trying naturally. I am pretty ‘old’ so my chance of naturally conceiving is low anyway, but I initially didn’t want kids, its only changed since meeting Dan. We saved up for a round of IVF but it was unsuccessful and a sore topic for the both of us. Dan wants to discuss it, but its something I struggle with.

My MIL is a lovely woman, but she can be invasive. My SIL had a miscarriage and my MIL was very helpful, staying with my SIL and helping out around the house but she has a fix it mentality and asked my SIL about trying again, adoption, fertility treatments pretty soon after. She didn’t mean it in a malicious way but I know if I told her she would have the same questions for me that I am not prepared to answer.

I initially told my MIL we both didn’t want kids but she kept asking me why. I told her Dan didn’t want kids actually to get her to stop.

She started asking Dan why and he is upset at me now because I lied to his mom.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Desbarats12 on 2024-01-12 01:01:08+00:00.

About every 3 months, my wife and I phone the local women's shelter (for a referral) so that we can take a young mom and her kids out to buy some groceries, no questions asked and no names. The shelter knows us and what we do. Usually, it's a person that is just out of the Shelter and has kids. We take them grocery shopping and always let them know that the price limit on the grocery trip is $250 (which is all we budgeted). We don't walk around the store with the shopper but this time she came to the till with $540 in groceries. I politely explained that we can't afford that because we are helping others. She started to argue with me. Because of the till lineup, we ended up asking her to remove items (unfortunately in front of others) to get the price down. The shopper was upset, told me I embarrassed her in front of her kids and others and I felt bad about the whole situation. Thoughts??

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Bright_Ad_2563 on 2024-01-12 12:18:30+00:00.

I 25F have a friend Ava 25F. She is getting married and asked me to be her bridesmaid and I agreed. Her theme for bridesmaids was a sunset, so she asked us all to wear yellow/orange/pink dresses to match the theme.

I went to my brother’s wedding a few years ago and my SIL’s bridesmaid theme was a yellow dress. It is a beautiful dress and was very expensive for me as a college student. My brother agreed to pay more than half which made it a lot more affordable but that dress isn’t wearable outside of special occasions and I’ve only worn it once outside the wedding.

I told Ava I had a dress for her wedding when we were out with a friend and my friend asked oh is it the one you wore for SIL’s and brothers wedding? So I said yeah and showed them a picture of me in the dress.

Ava then said she would want me to get a new dress for her wedding as I’ve worn my yellow one before and people have seen it. I was confused by this as even if people have seen it it doesn’t matter?

My SIL was the year above me in school so we do share mutual friends that I saw at her wedding and some of them will be at Ava’s wedding but I don’t want to buy a brand new dress. Bridesmaid dresses are expensive and I don’t get wear out of them afterwards so they sit in my closet.

I haven’t been to many weddings though, only my brothers that I remember and a few cousins when I was much younger so maybe this is some wedding etiquette that I need to brush up on?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Sweaty_Association94 on 2024-01-12 12:07:03+00:00.

I (18m) lost my mom 7 months ago to cancer. She had been sick for three years and in the last two months we found out my dad had been having an affair almost the entire time she was sick. My mom was absolutely destroyed by the news when she learned it and what's worse is my dad's affair partner wanted to try and "straighten things out" before my mom died. My dad was kicked out of the house and mom changed her funeral plans and everything so that my dad would not be able to go. She changed her will and went out of her way to ensure I would be getting everything and not him. She set it up in a way where my aunt would have a temporary guardianship over it (or whatever it's called) and my dad could not get his hands on it that way either. She was very clear that she had not wanted my dad with someone else while she was alive and would not act like things were okay after either.

When my mom died it was the most painful time in the world for me and I am still processing life without her. I also hate my dad for the harm he caused during mom's final months. The fact is he made it all 10000x harder than it ever needed to be. All because he couldn't remain faithful to her in life.

He got engaged to his affair partner the week my mom died. They decided to wait until mom was gone a year to try and save some of his reputation. But I have hardly anything to do with him and anything I do have to do with him is because he makes the effort and he reaches out. He wanted me to know he was engaged and he wanted me to meet his other woman. And he forced those things on me.

The last time they decided we needed to speak I told them not to send me an invite to the wedding because I won't go and I won't respect them enough to RSVP officially. They were upset and told me to think about the future and other BS like that. I told them if they thought they were worthy of being grandparents (which they mentioned) then they needed to think again. Then they tried to guilt me with a sob story of how she was widowed for many years and her kids all turned their backs on her and took her grandkids away because they were disgusted with her for moving on. Didn't move me one little bit.

But my dad's family are kinda pissed that I am drawing such a hard line at the wedding. They already know people judge my dad and think it would look way better if I was there. My dad also thinks I am taking his relationship with mom out on him instead of judging based off how he was as my dad. But I stand by a dad who makes their kids loss of their other parent harder than it needs to be is not a good dad. And he made losing mom so much harder.

I'm hearing from so many family members that I need to go to the wedding and I'm wrong to say no that I am asking AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Competitive-Sail-832 on 2024-01-12 11:30:22+00:00.

Me 28F just had a child 8 months F and ultimately her father and I almost immediately knew we would not be together and only co parent. About 6 weeks after our daughter’s birth, unbeknownst to me, got his 6 year old sons mother pregnant again. Before you ask, no I had no idea they were anything more than estranged co parents in a custody battle until my daughter was 3 months old. She lived out of state before I moved to Mexico with my son. Then I found out I was pregnant with his child and had to come back, so majority of my pregnancy was spent there. Now back to the AITA. Obviously I was not happy that he created a child 6 weeks after ours was born but that was not the reason for my filing. I am employed full time, I am stable, and can also help support my children and it’s to my knowledge that is not the case for his son’s mother. She was previously a SAHM when they were together(which is fine) but all financial responsibility falls on him. They were deciding to work it out and be a family again, now this is where my problem comes in. Not only was it a plan for her to be SAHM again, but she has a daughter from before him, a son together, she then had a daughter while she was out of state by someone else , and now they are having a daughter together. A family of 6 with him included, but not including my daughter and he works in a factory packing cereal. So he did not only create another responsibility for himself, he took on more responsibility than he had to. His time for our daughter was already limited for obvious reasons but In this economy, supporting a family of 6 is costly. So he began to justify it by saying because I’m more stable and independent so he knew our daughter would be good regardless, and felt he could prioritize his first kids mother and the kids she has/they have and put our DD lower on his priority list. I don’t take this lightly because our daughter doesn’t deserve to be any less prioritized by her own father because of the decisions he made in life to burden himself, or my status as a working woman. Does this not open a pattern of behavior like it’s acceptable for him to do this to her because he believes they are more dependent upon him. Would the clear favoritism and dynamic that they are priority not continue within the household when my daughter is there. AITA for putting my child’s father on child support?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/LoadNo3335 on 2024-01-12 14:24:05+00:00.

I’ve been dating my bf for about a month and a half and he has an old Labrador at his house. I like dogs and animals but to my own surprise I found myself to dislike his dog.

The dog is very barky/needy which isn’t terrible but combined with the bad breath, I’d hate to say I want the dog out of the room when I’m chilling and ESPECIALLY eating food.

My biggest issue with the dog is that she comes up to me EVERY time I eat and starts panting up a storm, sending this rancid stench in the air. I lose my appetite and don’t finish the food that was made for me.

I don’t want to say anything to my bf though because that’s his beloved dog and I don’t wanna be a jerk gf for wanting to kick it out the room all the time. Anyone been in a similar situation? AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Weak-Effect7784 on 2024-01-12 12:07:57+00:00.

[Reposted because the last post was deleted] I'm about to turn 16 and have been looking forward to celebrating this milestone birthday in a grand way with my closest friends and family. However, I recently ran into a frustrating situation. A friend of mine, who actually has her birthday two months before mine, has planned her birthday party on the exact same day as mine. This wouldn’t have been an issue, but since we are part of the same friend group, most of the people she's invited are also the ones I intended to invite to my party.

Understanding the significance of my 16th birthday, I decided to address this overlap directly with her. I called her, hoping we could find a compromise, like shifting her party by a day or two, and give her a gift of her choice (along with her birthday gift, as I was really desperate to have my birthday on that very day). Her party is delayed anyway, so I thought this wouldn’t be a big ask. But to my dismay, she refused to change her plans, stating that her grandparents would be visiting and it’s the only time they could celebrate. She suggested that I should be the one to reschedule.

For context, I also could not keep my party on another day due to personal issues, I did try telling her this.

I explained my discomfort with the idea of having two parties on the same day. Her party is scheduled for about five hours, and I wanted mine to last for three and a half hours, including a movie and some fun activities. I was concerned that our friends wouldn't be able to attend both, especially considering their parents might not allow it.

I normally try to be understanding in situations like this, but I couldn’t help feeling upset that she didn’t seem to consider my position. I wanted to have a day to myself, on my actual birthday, which comes once a year. So, in my frustration, I lashed out a bit. I told her that I wanted the attention on my birthday and that it shouldn't be too hard for her to find another date for her party, given the two-month gap between our actual birthdays.

She ended the call abruptly and didn't respond to my texts until much later, only to say she couldn't change the date and if I couldn't attend, it was my loss. Meanwhile, she started planning her party in our group chat, and everyone else confirmed they would attend.

AITA for feeling upset and wondering if I was wrong for wanting my birthday to be about me and for asking her to accommodate?

Edit: I have decided to talk it out with her again, and without making any rash decisions in anger. I shall update accordingly.

Edit 2: I may have written this wrong, but she did NOT want her grandparents, nor her parents at her party. She wanted the house to herself, so that she could call us over.

Edit 3: She and I have very different tastes, ideas and plans for our party. We both do agree on one decision, not to have a joint party.

Update: We have sorted it out. I am very thankful to all the comments, I know my mistake, and I have taken the suggestions and advice into account. She has managed to convince her parents to change the date, as it turns out she had gotten the dates mixed up. I have expressed my sincere gratitude to her as well.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/AbleTomatillo7458 on 2024-01-12 11:35:48+00:00.

I will try to put as many details as possible.

I (28f) have recently (at the start of this year) received a promotion at work, taking my ex head of the department who was finally fired due to a lot of gross misconduct. As I was very happy about this new opportunity I have posted on my private social media something along the lines of "keep on doing what you do, karma will take care of the rest". I thought nothing of it and a lot of people congratulated me on the promotion in the comments. However a few hours later I started to get really mean and hateful comments calling me all sorts of names.

I was confused and started investigating what happened since the comments came from people I barely know or don't know at all. I have asked some close friends and one of them sent me a link to "Anne's" (29f) profile. Anne took my post as if I was "gloating" over her child being in ICU and being born with some problems. I didn't even know I still have her as a friend.

Now the reason why she believed so comes from the time we were in college (over 10 years ago now). We lived in the same dorm and once went out, where Anne got very drunk and started saying a lot of insensitive and mean things about me, mainly about issues I had with my health when I was born and spending a few years in the hospital and ended up with a few very big scars. She believed I was exaggerating the problems I had and using them to get attention since I wouldn't wear certain clothes due to bad scars.

I haven't communicated with her since college. Had no idea what was happening in her life since I wouldn't see any updates about her on my social media. Turns out her kid was born with the same issues I had and I have posted the same day the kids operation was due and when she announced his issues publically(which again I had no idea). I have messaged her and explained the post and have asked to stop spreading misinformation, but she wouldn't listen and called me an asshole. Since then she also gave an interview to a local newspaper so despite setting social media to private I am still bombarded with hate and people calling me an asshole.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ItSaSunnyDaye on 2024-01-12 07:23:08+00:00.

By autistic, I mean I see the symptoms in him and I think he could get a diagnosis because I’ve noticed that he fits a lot of the criteria. I’m also autistic, and I see a lot of similarities between us.

So I’ve told my friend “Steve” (name is hidden to protect identity) several times I think he has autism and should get a diagnosis, especially since he was getting a diagnosis for ADHD as well. I told him this in front of our other friend, “friend 2”. Im only friends with friend 2 through Steve, and since I left my old school at the end of last year, friend 2 has been spreading rumors about me at my old school. I’m not entirely sure he’s credible for this

After I told Steve I thought he was autistic, friend 2 pulled me aside and said some people didn’t like to be called autistic and I should not have told him that. I thought it was unfair for him to speak on Steve’s behalf, but I have run into a similar issue that friend 2 had described with another former friend of mine. Steve has never said anything confirming or denying being uncomfortable about my comment, so I’m not entirely sure who to trust, but I’m terrible at social cues, so please enlighten me

EDIT: Since people are telling me that armchair diagnosing is not necessary and not accurate because I lack qualification, I suggested to one friend to get a diagnosis for ADHD and she is now medicated for it, and another close friend i have suggested to get a diagnosis for autism and she is getting assessed tomorrow.

Probably shouldnt have asked reddit this tbh

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/lostconnectionreddit on 2024-01-12 01:12:38+00:00.

My (f21) fiancé (m24) is very wealthy, and he used to give me a lot of money for school/emergency finances even though I was very hesitant to accept. He told me if I wanted to be his wife someday, I would have to get comfortable accepting help from him. Because of this, I began accepting money from time to time, but I never asked or spent it leisurely.

Recently, we have been fighting a lot. Every time I complain, he gives me the silent treatment, and every time he does something wrong, he gives me the silent treatment until I apologize. Today, he told me I should be grateful he’s even talking to me. I asked him what should I be grateful for?

My fiancé proceeded to send me an itemized bill of EVERYTHING he has ever spent on me during an argument. Added up, with totals and everything. It was a lot by the way, about 20k, and it’s helped me through school.

I was mortified by this weird weaponization and tried to call him out on it, but he doubled-down and said “at least I know how to manage my accounts,” because my family has a history of gambling/money problems. I stopped texting him after this, so he blocked me on everything again (silent treatment). I don’t know if I should apologize or not because he does spend a lot on me. I do think he was pretty out of line though. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Unhappy_Yellow on 2024-01-11 23:50:28+00:00.

Yes, you read that right. My partner (30 male) and I (30 female) have been together since high school. After all of our close friends started getting married, he finally decided that it was our turn too (that sentence alone makes me angry/upset and could be a whole other post in here).

In September 2023 we decided to plan and book a destination wedding for December 2024. We were all for it until the first week of January when we started getting phone calls and texts from our family and friends saying they couldn't make it because of cost, how close it was to Christmas or because they couldn't take a week of from work. Mind you, people like his grandmother and my grandfather wouldn't have been able to go because of health reasons. We talked it over and decided to cancel it.

Over the past 2 weeks, I have spent all of my free time informing our friends and families, looking for new venues, canceling our resort and travel agent, getting refunds and trying to plan a whole new wedding while he's been playing video games (side note, idc what he does with his spare time, this is just to set up my anger for later on).

I found a beautiful venue, made an appointment to go see it this weekend and it's going to be financially better for us in the long run. He was super on board, looked at their website and was pleased. Today, he got an email from a realtor about some land that's available to purchase in an area we both agreed long ago we would want to build our forever home in. While I'm at work, he decides to spam text me saying he doesn't want to have the wedding anymore in case we buy this land, doesn't tell me anything about the land and doesn't answer his phone when I try and call to see what's going on.

After he calms down and shows me the land, I agree that's its beautiful and it would be amazing to build our dream home 10 years ahead of schedule, but that I've been looking forward to a wedding, not only the 14 years we've been together but since I was little. I told him if I had to work overtime, door dash or do whatever to make some extra money until August (which was going to be our new wedding month) then I would and I was willing to give up my spare time for it.

I thought after this, he would think about how I'm taking the initiative to get what I want and to work even harder for it and be proud or happy but instead he told me no, I wasn't allowed to do that. Me working more would mean he would have to deal with me being grumpy all the time and he didn't want to go through that for 7 months (I'm a cheerful person normally so I'm not sure where his thought was going while he said that). Apparently, I'm being unrealistic and unreasonable. Should I put the down payment on the venue and say fuck him?

TL;DR Fiancée and I change wedding plans and while I'm spending my spare time to plan a new one, he throws it out the window for a piece of land for our dream home and says I'm unrealistic for wanting to work overtime for my wedding.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Thotsi100 on 2024-01-12 07:29:19+00:00.

This is my first time posting on Reddit. I'm a 22-year-old male and my ex-girlfriend is 20 years old. I started seeing my girlfriend late last year in October 2023. We had tons of fights, mostly because I felt like she was always hiding something. Anyways we continued dating. Fast forward, Yesterday night, I remembered an instance she told me about that I found hard to believe. For some context, let's call this guy George, my girlfriend cheated with George on my girlfriend's ex-boyfriend. Back to the story. She said George had come to town and she went to meet him. She never told me when he came, she just went to meet him, and this was only a few days after we started dating. After that day had passed, she told me she went to see a friend and that he tried kissing her, but she pushed him away. I didn't believe her, but I didn't want to come off as insecure, so I let it slide. Few months later : We are open with each other's phones. I took her phone and saw messages between George and her on Facebook, some deleted messages here and there.

Then I said to her in a calm voice, "I see chat between you and George."

She said, "I don't like him, our time has passed."

Then I told her, "I want to text George about the day you went to see him."

And then she said, "Oh yeah, he gave me a peck on the lips, nothing much."

Then I said, "Alright, I will tell him that you miss the kiss you had that day."

And then she panicked and said, "He kissed me and I didn't like it, moreover, it was a short kiss."

I said, "Alright." Then I said, "I'm still going to text him."

Then she said, "Go ahead."

Then I replied to her, "He said you guys cuddled."

She was silent about the situation and said, "I didn't like him."

And she started confessing about how she got on top of him and he only squeezed her boobs, and that's all that happened. But in reality, I never texted George. It was just a bluff and she caught it. I laughed and then said, "It's alright, we are going to be alright." By this time in the relationship, I was numb to her lies and all the pain she had inflicted on me...

I broke up with her. I blocked her on all social media. I don't know if that was the right thing because I feel like if I were to stay with her, I would revenge the acts she did to me. Help me out, I still love her, but she lies to me all the time about everything. I broke up with her yesterday

I left out some details cause my post kept on being removed, forgive me English is not my first language

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ThrowRAKiryKye115 on 2024-01-12 07:26:33+00:00.

My boyfriend (26M) and I (25F) have been together for just under three years now and are expecting our first child in March. We've been very open talking about marriage and so the engagement itself was never going to be a surprise, but the proposal was. He is clueless when it comes to rings and my taste in jewellery, so we decided to take a collaborative approach and we designed my ring together.

In the process of all that I made it very clear what kind of proposal I wanted. I made it known explicitly to him that I wanted to get engaged surrounded by all my closest friends and family and that having them involved/in on the surprise was very important to me. After the ring was ordered I was in the dark- I had no idea when it was going to be ready and no idea when he was going to propose to me, so I just waited with excited anticipation.

Two nights ago we took our dogs on an evening walk at the beach near our house that we frequent regularly. We sat and admired the sunset as our dogs played in the ocean in front of us. After a little while, he started going on about how much he loved me and how grateful he was to have found me, and then he pulled out the ring box and asked me to marry him. It was completely unexpected and I was a bit shocked. Once I realised what was going on I kissed him and told him how much he meant to me and how much I loved and cherished him, but that I couldn't say yes now because I really wanted my closest friends and family to share the moment with me.

He got really upset and told me that he wanted to do something more intimate and keep the moment between us, and that he wasn't comfortable doing it in front of everyone. I've tried to reason with him over the past couple days but he's been giving me the silent treatment for the most part. I get where he's coming from, but at the same time I had to design my own ring because he doesn't pay enough attention to the small things like the jewellry I wear, so I really wanted my proposal to be something that he put a lot of thought in to make it special to me.

I've heard of countless instances where a girl has turned down her partner's proposal because he did it publicly and she wanted something private, and everyone always seems to sympathise with her and her preferences, and say that he should've paid attention to her preferences and requests. The way I see it this is the exact same situation but reversed so I don't see why what I did was so wrong. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Positive_Mix_6164 on 2024-01-12 03:11:29+00:00.

I (22F) told my sister, Penny, (27F) she can’t use green and gold as her wedding colors.

So in 2017 I got this book and the cover of the book was dark forest green with gold engravings and I thought it was the most beautiful color combination ever, and decided it would be my wedding colors. I said to Penny, “penny green and gold are going to be my wedding colors so you can’t use them” at the time I was 16 and penny was 21 and she wasn’t even thinking about getting married and she thought it was funny but I made sure to let her know I was being dead serious. So fast forward trends are changing and different aesthetics are becoming more and more popular im noticing that penny is developing an affinity for more woodsy colors like dark forest green and burnt orange and I always kind of half jokingly mention to her “you’re aesthetic is so pretty but no green and gold for your wedding” and she just found it amusing I guess

So fast forward to the present penny gets engaged and im so happy for her! Her ring is a really pretty emerald wedding ring with a gold band. It’s stunning I love it and I love her and her partner. We’re talking about her wedding and she kind of shyly brings up “so you weren’t serious about the green and gold thing right” Um I’ve been talking about it for almost seven years now, im pretty serious. We end up getting into a pretty big fight. She says that it’s not fair that I claimed those colors all those years ago. I say to her she can do green and another color or gold and another color but NOT green and gold. She says that green and gold would match her ring and her whole aesthetic so well (she’s getting married in the woods) I say that’s too bad bc I called it. She said that’s not fair bc im not even in a relationship and who knows if I’ll ever get married, but she’s getting married now. That kind of hurt my feelings not gonna lie. Maybe she’s right? Maybe it’s not fair that im gatekeeping these colors. But I’ve always dreamed of a green and gold wedding since I saw that book and if she does it then when I get married it’s gonna seem to all of our friends and family like I just copied her or they’ll be comparing us or something. I love my sister but I’ve spent my whole life being second best to her and I don’t want to seem like a pale imitation of her on my special day. What do you guys think?

Edit: Alright yall I hear you loud and clear 🧍🏾‍♀️ I am the AH. I guess I’ve was being dramatic, when I see my sister I will apologize and let her know that if she wants to use green and gold for her wedding she can without worrying about hurting my feelings bc I guess im being kind of silly 🫡 but like fr does not one person see where I’m coming from? 😭 like cut me a little slack

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Subject-Cup-3206 on 2024-01-12 03:08:00+00:00.

I am not against weed. I am a regular user and a parent. It is legal in my area

I do not smoke in front of my children and rarely parent while high. (There are times where mom is overwhelmed with work/life and needs to decompress before I can show up as the best mom I can be.) I choose to a smoke after my kids go to bed.

This person is a fellow volunteer and a personal friend. Which is how I noticed they were high while at a sports meeting. They are great as a volunteer and seems to be that the children love the interactions/mentorship they receive.

But as a parent, I feel like if you are choosing to devote time to children you should show up sober and ready to contribute positively to these children. If you need to smoke weed before than maybe you aren’t suitable to be a volunteer. I believe there is an appropriate time and place to partake… and it’s not while volunteering to be around children.

Am I being to uptight?!

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ThrowRAKiryKye115 on 2024-01-12 07:26:33+00:00.

My boyfriend (26M) and I (25F) have been together for just under three years now and are expecting our first child in March. We've been very open talking about marriage and so the engagement itself was never going to be a surprise, but the proposal was. He is clueless when it comes to rings and my taste in jewellery, so we decided to take a collaborative approach and we designed my ring together.

In the process of all that I made it very clear what kind of proposal I wanted. I made it known explicitly to him that I wanted to get engaged surrounded by all my closest friends and family and that having them involved/in on the surprise was very important to me. After the ring was ordered I was in the dark- I had no idea when it was going to be ready and no idea when he was going to propose to me, so I just waited with excited anticipation.

Two nights ago we took our dogs on an evening walk at the beach near our house that we frequent regularly. We sat and admired the sunset as our dogs played in the ocean in front of us. After a little while, he started going on about how much he loved me and how grateful he was to have found me, and then he pulled out the ring box and asked me to marry him. It was completely unexpected and I was a bit shocked. Once I realised what was going on I kissed him and told him how much he meant to me and how much I loved and cherished him, but that I couldn't say yes now because I really wanted my closest friends and family to share the moment with me.

He got really upset and told me that he wanted to do something more intimate and keep the moment between us, and that he wasn't comfortable doing it in front of everyone. I've tried to reason with him over the past couple days but he's been giving me the silent treatment for the most part. I get where he's coming from, but at the same time I had to design my own ring because he doesn't pay enough attention to the small things like the jewellry I wear, so I really wanted my proposal to be something that he put a lot of thought in to make it special to me.

I've heard of countless instances where a girl has turned down her partner's proposal because he did it publicly and she wanted something private, and everyone always seems to sympathise with her and her preferences, and say that he should've paid attention to her preferences and requests. The way I see it this is the exact same situation but reversed so I don't see why what I did was so wrong. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Yourebuddyfromhell on 2024-01-12 02:44:55+00:00.

I (17M) was watching a Pokemon movie with my Mom (37F) and younger brother (11M) and started sobbing while watching the movie due to the plot.

The specific movie was "Pokémon The Movie, Pokémon Black, Victini and Reshiram". I have a history of crying at odd times. For example, while making thanksgiving dinner, I viciously started crying while preparing the turkey, I was made fun of for months, even to the day of posting.

Spoilers for those who haven't seen it, Victini has this old king as his friend, and he has to save his kingdom so he has to move the castle and needed Victini's help, but after he successfully moved the castle he died, and Victini cried. ( This was the start of the downfall), Victini who now now has trust issues, because died, he now has a recurring nightmare that he's sitting on the top of the castle and his friends ghost (because he's dead) comes to Victini and told him "I'm sorry I trapped you here" because the castle has these pillars, that really don't do much except trap Victini, and then we later wake from the nightmare and see this random guy we know nothing about, start using magic to lift the castle, who then also brings the pillars closer, Victini has to fly to the castle to figure out what is happening, where he gets manipulated because of the random man being almost like Victini's dead friend. This random man then proceeded to attack Victini and hurt him with the magic of the absorption pillars which weren't seen untill now that suck his energy away.

I only made it that far before the sadness had taken over, I was absolutely mortified from this movie and now my close family is making fun of me and telling me to get over it and even my mom is telling me to grow up.

Am I the asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Impressive-Block-994 on 2024-01-12 02:32:01+00:00.

I need help. I met this guy on Facebook and we became roommates. He was totally fine with living with my cat. He was dead set that he wanted to buy the couch. He decided on a white fabric couch, and before he bought it I told him i don’t think it’s a good idea because we live with a cat and I sent him potential other options that were a fake leather. He said it’s the one he wants and he bought it.

Fast forward and I notice he keeps screaming at my cat for no reason? Like as loud as he can- even I was alarmed because it felt hostile. My cat wasn’t even doing anything when he would yell. It’s so strange and nothing I have experienced before. My cat (F) (super gentle, never scratches, bites, or pees outside the box) started becoming very skittish and she ended up peeing on the couch multiple times before I eventually got a couch cover.

Each time it happened I purchased $$$$ worth of cleaners and solutions to remedy it, and since I got to it soon after it happened I got all the stain and smell out with enzyme cleaner. I apologized and was very upset that my cat did this. My roommate is now demanding I pay him for the couch because it’s “ruined”. Since all this happened, he has had parties and all the people have sat on the couch with no complaints, and I have had multiple people who i know would 100% tell me the truth and hold me accountable come over and smell the couch/check for stains to make sure it wasn’t just me who thought it wasn’t ruined.

The roommate still says he has a sensitive nose and even though other people can’t smell it he can, and he is demanding me to pay him and threatening me. I had to give my cat to my parents until I can move out because I feared for her safety. AITA for not feeling like I need to dish over $700 to my roommate for this couch?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/nodtramalama on 2024-01-12 04:37:13+00:00.

Current living situation: I(39f) live in a house with "Tom"(40m), Ben(43m) and our 5 children 12m, 11m (bio Tom and mine), 10f, 8f (bio Bens and his late wife "Anna"), 7f (bio Ben and mine. Ben and I work. Tom's been a sahd since 11m was 2. He went back to school 4 years ago. Ben and I cover all household expenses including any costs for Toms education.

Background: Tom and I met at a party when we were 19. We've been friends ever since. With benefits at times we were both single. While on a holiday together a condom broke on us. Due to location emergency contraception wasn't available and when I turned out to be pregnant we chose to keep that kid and moved in together. We were never a couple but worked great as a family so we decided to have a second kid.

Anna was my childhood best friend. She and Ben moved into the flat downstairs from ours when she was pregnant with 10f. I loved having her close again after living in different cities for years. Sadly she passed away after a very complicated second labour. Ben and I found solace in each other and I ended up pregnant. I didn't notice right away as my method of contraception should have been safe and I also blamed a lot of the symptoms on grief and guilt so when I found out there wasn't really an alternative anymore. Tom was the first one I told. He said he'd welcome another child into our family. Ben was shocked and really struggled to accept it but we kept in good contact through all of it.

We all started having dinner most nights after 7f was born (10f and 8f would already spend the day as Tom was their "nanny"). Couple of years later my grandma moved onto retirement home and Tom and I decided to move to her house. Ben asked if he could move in with us and we agreed. It's maybe unusual but works for us.

Where I might be the AH: Tom been with "Bea" for the last 3 years. There was some talk about him asking her to move in about a year ago but he never did. Bea and I get along. Not best friends but I like spending time with her. Well...liked. She showed up unannounced 3 days ago and demanded to see Tom. He's currently on a skiing trip with Ben and the boys. I reminded her of that and then said I will tell him to contact her if there's an emergency. She then proceeds to tell me that she is pregnant with Tom's child (highly unlikely) and that she already talked to his parents and they will buy them a house next to theirs so that they can live there as a family. And that they will be taking the boys with them. That's when I told her to leave which after some yelling and insults she did.

I've since been called multiple times by her, her best friend and Toms parents to try and get his contact but I'm still refusing to give it away. They've been calling me an AH among other names for not letting him know that 1) Bea is pregnant. 2) he doesn't need to be abused and exploited anymore

edit to add

1. Tom's had a vasectomy after 11m
2. he's very low contact with his parents as they disapprove of me and our overall living arrangements