Am I the Asshole?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ItsThatGuyW on 2024-01-11 23:28:52+00:00.

I (25M) been dating my girlfriend (25F) for about a year now, however we know each other close to 10 years. We had a thing back in school when we were 17ish, but I was looking for a relationship while she wasn’t ready for a relationship, she didn’t tell me why at the time, but I found out why later when I dated her best friend in college.

She had a very good friend that she had been crushing on for years since she was still a kid, and she even lost her virginity to him when she was 15. The guy is 2 years older, very handsome, very athletic with six pack, working as a model. I don’t know the guy that well, but back in school we had some common friends, been to few parties together and from what I remember about him, he was a basic fuckboy, had multiple girls on call I knew about, my current girlfriend being one of them, but we weren’t together then so I didn’t care. They’ve been FWB on and off basically since she was 15 until he moved away when she was 20, but they never really were in a relationship.

The guy was abroad for the past 5 years, trying to break in international modeling, but came back in December last year and been in contact with my girlfriend. They plan to meet this Saturday evening, just the two of them, when I asked to go with her she told me she wants to go alone, so they can catch up. When I asked where they want to go she didn’t tell me because they will just meet in town and decide then. I told her I don’t want her hanging out with him alone, since I know about their past and we got into a big fight about it, it’s a first since we started dating.

On one hand I want to trust her, on the other hand I know how crazy she was for him even when he moved away, though they never really dated. Am I just overreacting ? AITA here ?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Yukihira_109 on 2024-01-12 02:19:55+00:00.

So for a bit of context I (29M) have a younger brother, Julian (27M) and we grew up very Christian. Both of us are now no longer practicing but our parents and majority of the extended family are still devout Christians. This explains why Julian married his now Ex wife, Nora (27F) when they were 19 especially since she was also a very conservative Christian woman. Needless to say it was mostly due to both of their parents pressure for them to marry at such a young age. They ended about 2 years ago and left on good terms. They both work at the same company but the office is quite large and they work in different departments so it’s not a problem.

About a month ago, Julian confessed that he was bi and had known since he was 14. Apparently he experimented in high school secretly but was too scared to let anyone know. He said he was going through a lot at the time and could not handle the stress of figuring out himself and so he just repressed it and basically gaslit himself into thinking he was straight. It wasn’t until recently that he met someone (his now bf) that he finally took the time to work through his identity and be happy with himself.

I love my brother no matter what and will always be there for him and this does not change anything between us. Our family taking this news badly was to be expected but apparently our parents let it spill to Nora’s parents (they are still friends btw) and she found out from there. She reacted horribly. She said she felt violated and disgusted that a “sinner” and “homosexual” had been intimate with her and that if she had know they would never have been married. She ended up outing him to her co-workers and in about 24h the entire office knew.

This past weekend, Julian called me crying about this issue and looked to vent about it. I let him know that she was 100% wrong for outing her but I thought that even though what she said about him was unkind she had a right to feel that way. Julian was upset by this, hung up saying “thought out of everyone in the family you would be the one to stand by me” and hasn’t spoken to me since. I feel like I said the wrong thing and am starting to regret it.

So AITA?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Thosesummernightsss on 2024-01-12 01:46:05+00:00.

Heres a bit of context. My cousin (18F) recently turned down one of my (18F) friends who asked her to prom. He (18M) was really nervous all week and he had already been making an effort to always be nice to her. He asked her to prom in public and her immediate response was "No thanks, you're too ugly for me," He was crying and crying later and I absolutely felt horrible for him, especially because everyone around had heard him get rejected.

I confronted my cousin and told her if she didn't want to go with him, she could've just pulled him aside privately and told him no instead of embarrassing him like that. I told her she was rude for calling him ugly in front of a huge crowd of people, She fired back and said I was an asshole because I can't tell her who she goes to prom with.

I wasn't trying to tell her who she goes out with, because thats her business. What I meant was that she was out of line embarrassing my friend like that.

So, AITA for telling my cousin she should've said yes to a guy?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/No_Diamond_3084 on 2024-01-12 01:24:31+00:00.

Christmas was a few weeks ago, but I'm still getting shit for this. Throwaway for my anonymity.

Me (29M) and my girlfriend (25F) recently Christmas together. We've been together for two years, but this is the first time we've celebrated together. We both decided to exchange lists and we each got a couple things from the list to keep up with the "surprise" of it all.

My girlfriend's list was very descriptive. A couple of the items were "Nars foundation" with her color, "Lush bath bombs", and "Puma running shoes". Just to name a few. I was happy to get her these things, but I didn't, and still don't, get the obsession with the brands.

For Christmas, I did most of the shopping at Target for everyone, not just her. They didn't have a lot of the specific brands she wanted, but I got her what I found and what I thought she would like. I got her a bottle of foundation in her color, it was from the brand wet and wild. I got her a big bag of Dr. Teals bath bombs, which I know are a good brand since I use the salts often. I also got her a pair of running shoes. I can't remember the brand name, but they looked fine to me and we're in her size. I also got her a couple other things, but I just listed these to save time.

On Christmas day, she seemed a bit confused opening the presents, but thanked me nonetheless. Later that night, she asked if I had trouble reading her handwriting or if I was confused about the list. I picked up on her talking about the brands and I just told her I don't think we should buy brands just for the name, rather the quality and price of their products. Since these products are cheaper, and she got more bang for her buck, like with the bath bombs, I didn't see an issue. The price I paid for a whole bag would have only gotten me one from the company she wanted me to buy from. She got a bit cold after that and said next year we just shouldn't do lists since I don't want to gift her what she wanted. We argued for a bit more, and more or less dropped the issue after a couple days. However, I'm still getting a comment or two from her and now I'm wondering if I was in the wrong.

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Immediate_Pear_4642 on 2024-01-12 01:04:02+00:00.

I (M46) have 4 kids. 1 of which that doesn’t live with us anymore, and 3 others that live with me and my wife. My youngest (f16) has always been a burden. When I first started dating my wife, she has always been messy and unclean. She doesn’t take care of her room that shares with her sister (f22), she doesn’t clean her clothes, she doesn’t brush her teeth, nor take a shower often. All she does is sit in her room and play games, only coming out when her mother arrives home to greet her. Just now I was about to shower and saw on the carpet that the cat has pooped. I went to their room and asked my youngest to clean it, but her sister came out instead. I asked for my youngest to clean it. So naturally I barged in her room and yelled at her for sending her sister to clean it. She yelled back saying I needed to specify who he was talking to because clearly me walking in wasn’t enough. She then started yelling because I barged in without knocking. This is my house and I can barge in any door I wish. I told her I shouldn’t have to specify who I’m talking to because she clearly heard my voice saying to clean it and should have gotten up and went, regardless if I wasn’t talking to her. I like to note, before I was with my wife, her children had came out of foster care. Their mother (my wife) were doping drugs and had to be taken. When I first came like I said in the beginning, she was unclean and never had any ability to take care of her stuff. My youngest is a brat from this act and I’m done with her attitude. I took her electronics and grounded her for 2 months for this selfish behavior.

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/yeaboi672 on 2024-01-12 00:38:34+00:00.

So basically today in class I think a girl had water spilled on her boots. She was yelling at another kid that they ruined her boots. I decided to say something and said “Aren’t they going to dry?”. Keep in mind her boots do look like they could dry. They don’t really look that expensive. She yelled at me for bullying her some of my other classmates said “yeaboi672’s so mean” and other things. Other people defended me and said I wasn’t being mean. Reddit, was I being mean to her?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/makimauuugh on 2024-01-11 21:47:53+00:00.

AITA for telling my son to apologize to his aunt?

I (57F) have a sister (57F) that my son (25M) lives with. My son seems to get along well with his aunt. My son calls me one day and I ask my son about how he is fairing with his aunt. He tells me that she's very passive aggressive, is demanding, and has a tendency to take his food and other supplies from the kitchen and keep them for herself. I know my sister, so I call her and let her know what my son said and tell her to talk to him and smooth things over. I call my son back, but my sister goes into his room and I hear her curse my son out and call him a liar and say that she never touched his stuff and to stop calling me and stand on his own feet, and tell him how no one wants him to live with them. Just saying some pretty tough things. After a while, my son picks up the phone and asks if I heard all the things she said to him. I said yes, and that he should apologize. He said he didn't do anything wrong, but I told him that he should just let it go, because she's helping him but letting him stay there and paying cheap rent, and that he can't live with me because of the way he acts.. My sister called me back and said that that bastard (my son) is lying and to never believe what he says. I tell her to relax and everything will smooth itself over. My son still won't apologize. AITA for making him apologize to smooth things over?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ph0t0g1rl on 2024-01-11 19:56:16+00:00.

I was in Walmart with my extremely hard to handle children (8, 3, and 1). My 8 year old daughter tells me she has to use the bathroom and honestly I needed to go too. We went to where the bathrooms were but the family room was locked. I waited a minute but she really had to go. So, I bring the 3 kids in to the women’s restroom. My oldest takes her 1 year old sister in with her and I took my 3 year old son into my stall. My 3 year old is hard to handle and even with my protests he continues to crawl between stalls. A lady walked in to use the restroom and at that point my son was waiting by the sinks. He then says “where’s mommy?” and looks underneath the door to find me. He accidentally looked underneath the door and saw the other lady. she scoffs and says “UGH! Will you get your kid?!” I tell my son to stay with me and of course he doesn’t listen because he’s a rambunctious 3 year old… I hurry to finish and tell my son that was rude and we need to go. As I leave I tell the lady I’m sorry I have 3 kids and had to use the restroom myself. She said “ I don’t care how many kids you have! That was just rude!”. I then said “ OKAY…! I said I’m sorry. You don’t have to be so F-ing rude yourself!”

I do have to say I didn’t see this lady face to face but she sounded like an older boomer lady. Idk if that gives anyone any insight…

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/StreetIdeal7972 on 2024-01-11 19:16:25+00:00.

Hi. Help me settle this bit with my husband.

Tonight my husband, 31, has called me selfish, f 27, for moving our kids ages 3 and 5 into the smaller bedroom. We have 3 bedrooms in a one story. The now kids room is 10 feet by 15 feet and comfortably sits their two twin beds, book shelf, dresser, and a small lounge chair with plenty of room to navigate in.

The larger room is roughly 15 by 25 feet or 20 x 30 feet I can’t remember which of the two was on paper. It’s a massive room. For visualisation, it now has my work desk and computer, a double sized bed, a dresser, and a sectional couch, with plenty of room left to play in and navigate in. It’s a massive room.

Before this evening, it was the guest bed (the double sized) and my desk, two chairs for the desk, and the lounger in the smaller room. It was extremely cramped and I felt really claustrophobic and stressed. Almost swarmed if that makes sense. I’m autistic and if the room is tight and doesn’t “feel” right I get overwhelmed and move things around to fix it.

So, tonight, now my husband has stated he’s irritated with me because he believes I’m being selfish and putting myself first by putting the kids in the 10 x 15 foot room.

My stance is, I work from home, two very high stress jobs, I feel like the bigger room is a better fit for me. The kids have toys in the bigger room now, along with their room and the living room (so basically lots of spots for toys and playing). I stated they sleep in their room and that’s it. There’s no need for them when they’re so little to have such a massive room. Also, not really that it matters but we’re only living here for about one more year and then we can move to a more levelled place- in regards to room sizing and space.

So, aita and selfish?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/bgando on 2024-01-11 18:29:16+00:00.

So my friend let’s call her Jess, broke up with her boyfriend Tom like a year and a half ago. A few weeks ago my other friend, Meg began dating him. This upset many in our friend group including me.

Jess texted me and said she couldn’t believe it and was sick by it. I agreed and then said Meg was a trashy person and I lowkey expected something from her because she just gave me that type of energy. I may have used a few choice words to describe Meg. Jess agreed with me. A few days later I saw an instagram post in which Jess and Meg along with a couple of other friends were hanging out. I was like huh how come they didn’t invite me.

I texted the group chat and asked when that picture was taken and nobody responded. I thought it was weird. Then I texted Jess individually and asked if she wanted to hang out. She said I had the nerve to text her after badmouthing Meg the way I did. I said what she started it and dated her ex. Jess said that she had a right to say what she did because it was her ex. And that she and Meg had a long conversation about the situation and that she understands things in a different perspective. She said that she showed the messages to the other girls and they all thought I was unnecessarily cruel and that if I said that about Meg I would say that about any of them. I texted all of my friends individually and only one of them replied and all she said was that I was a gross person. Even my guy friends who I have been friends with for years are not talking to me. I’ve known most of these people for close to a decade. And they all dropped me over something so stupid that I didn’t even start.

What the hell did.. am I the asshole here?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Jalkey on 2024-01-11 18:00:03+00:00.

Sam wants to go on holiday to Country abroad after hearing of Bob/Robin's experience, and always wanting to go. Sam is friends with Bob (for 10 years). Bob was invited, and keen to go (given the friendship), and with Sam's approval, invited Robin (Bob's partner of 1 year). Robin dislikes the idea given Bob/Robin already visited Country in question within the last 4 months, and given it is also Robin's holiday now, they should choose a new destination for the holiday. Given Robin is a partner with Bob, Bob should also not go on a holiday with Sam given holidays are romantic affairs, are limited in number and Sam/Robin are the same gender. Sam has not included details yet on anyone else being invited.

Assuming I'm Robin, AITA?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/CranberryAmbitious68 on 2024-01-11 16:54:38+00:00.

Would I be the assshole for asking my friends to stop playing UNO during lunch?

Okay, the title might sound bad without context, but I need to know. So I am 16, about to turn 17, and I'm in grade 11 in high school. My whole friend group hangs out in the theatre at lunch because it is quieter than the main cafeteria and all of us are some form of neurodivergent, lol. They've started the habit of playing the card game UNO almost every day, and for the first little while it was fine.

I do not enjoy UNO or competitive card games in general because I've got some pretty bad sensory issues and playing a game where people can get loud and super competitive is really overwhelming to me, so I try and avoid it as much as I can. So you'd think, "oh, it's okay, you can just see them later." The only problem is, I share none of my classes with my friends, so lunch is the only time I can see them. It's gotten to the point where I just sit and eat alone while my friends play because they get very loud and even sitting next to them playing it causes a lot of anxiety for me.

I am the only one who doesn't want to play, and I feel like I would be the asshole for asking them to stop, so I can sit with them.

But I also feel like me being upset that I'm the only one who can't be around them is valid because they are choosing to play this game knowing I don't like it and knowing I feel bad whenever they do.

I might be the asshole but please, let me know? Also, if any of my friends are reading this, I'm sorry I just needed to ask someone unbiased. :/

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Aggressive_Tap_5679 on 2024-01-11 16:36:18+00:00.

Please do not repost this in any videos.

I (19f) have a friend A (19) and their gf B (19f), who is also my good friend.

About two weeks ago I made plans with A to go shopping in one specific shop (S). It has been a while since me and A hanged alone without B so I was excited. Do not get me wrong, B is like a best friend to me but sometimes I just miss hanging out with A like we did before they got together. Before I felt like I'm thirdwheeling wherever we were..

A few days later I have learned that B will go shopping with us.. I was slightly annoyed but soon was like "Eh, the more the merrier ig."

The day of hanging out came and I was slightly sick so I considered going home instead but since we make plans very rarely, I have decided to stay. I have waited for about 2 hours for A and B to finish their classes.

After we finally left school, we made a slight detour through a grocery store. Throughout the entire thing they would chat, flirt, smirk at each other and while I didn't care as much the feeling that im thirdwheeling was starting to get to me. Then as I was picking one more thing they left. They forgot me at the shop. At some point I silently caught up to them and continued onwards about a meter behind them. This was due to the chilly air and the fact that I did not want to inhale too much of it by going too fast and catching my breath.

Then, however I overheard them talking about one more stop (L) before our target shop.. Thing I have not mentioned in this post yet. I had about 2 hours. I had to BE home at 8 due to other thing that I had to attend. And it was already 6:30 and bus ride home was about 20 minutes from the shop we were aiming for.

So after the silent walk behind them, before a cross road I asked whether they are going to L.

A looked at me and confidently said "Me and B wanted to go to S. Wanna come?" I looked them in the eyes, turned and left.

It may not sound like much but this is the best translation from my language I could do. Basically why I left was because they clearly forgot that we made that plan initially together and also I just waited for 2 hours just to go with them and yeah.. I just kind of felt hirt I guess..

This may be where I am a jealous asshole because I am reading into it a lot but I just.. the entire walk I was not once invited into the conversation, I got forgotten in the grocery store and now this.. I just thought I would just do them a favour by just leaving..

So.. was I the asshole?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/No_Citron_150 on 2024-01-11 16:15:24+00:00.

Me and my girlfriend still live with our parents because we are still in university. And today I came to visit her. When I came she was preparing pancake batter and asked me to cook them because she can't. So I did. After I did some her mom came home. She asked my gf how long more she'll be in the kitchen, bear in mind that we did pancakes for all people who live there plus me, so my gf went to her room. When I was doing last one pancake from first batch she said that I also should go to her room. I finished the pancake and cleaned the bowl the batter was in. After that I came to her room. And my gf gave me attitude that I can't listen and I should've come to the room immediately. I said that I don't like leaving a mess and now she's pissed. Am I the asshole?

EDIT: Some additional info.

My gf told me that she wanted me to exit the kitchen because her mother won't enter (kitchen is small, 2 people barely can do something different) otherwise and she apparently didn't want pancakes. Even tho she told me when I came that her mom asked her to do pancakes.

EDIT2:

I misunderstood. Apparently everyone wanted pancakes but her mom needed to heat some meat from her grandma's dinner from few days back so it wouldn't go to waste

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Intelligent_Ride_195 on 2024-01-11 15:28:07+00:00.

Throwaway obviously. I never thought this would be a big deal but it’s blown up.

I (F26) live with my dad. This involves a family friend “Delia.” My mom lives out of state.

For Christmas, I asked Delia if she could get me a vacuum since our old one was natty and disgusting. I sent her the link to the one I wanted. She curtly told me no because she already had my gifts picked out. I asked her if she could buy the vacuum as a gift for my dad instead then, since a new vacuum would be perfect for our house.

She became even ruder and said she was not giving my dad a vacuum for Christmas and had his gift already. She got heated, I stayed polite. I was pretty upset at the rude responses but fair enough- I bought my dad the vacuum myself as a gift.

When we opened our gifts. Delia had gotten me a bunch of stuff from some holy sites she went to on a trip abroad (I’m Catholic) and some headphones. It wasn’t exactly what I’d wanted, but it was nice. I thanked her.

I gave Dad the vacuum and he obviously liked it. Delia gave Dad some custom pins. He oohed and ahhed more than he did for my gift. I’m his fucking daughter.

The big issue was over one small item Delia gave me- a rosary from a holy site in Europe. I already have 2 other rosaries. I thanked her but advised her I planned to give it away as I already have too many rosaries. I asked her permission to give it to my mom instead.

She said it was my gift and I could do whatever I wished, but that maybe I should get my mom a different one since this one was for me. To be polite, I smiled and told her I’d look into it, but that I really wanted to give this one to my mom since I already have more. She shrugged and said okay.

After Christmas, my dad found out about the vacuum and rosary and blew up pretty badly. Delia made a dramatic proclamation that she’s “tired of [my] rudeness around gifts” and doesn’t want to give me any more. I think maybe I could’ve handled it better, but Delia knew what I wanted, could afford it, and instead got me something I didn’t need. People regift all the time, and I was gracious enough to ask her permission.

So AITA for this?

EDIT: I get it guys, I suck. I’m the biggest asshole that ever assholed. I’ll apologize to Delia and no more gifts between us. Whoever reported me to Reddit Cares, you suck too.

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/General-Biscotti-332 on 2024-01-11 14:24:39+00:00.

My buddy, Aiden and I have been friends since we were in middle school. We are both 26, and have remained close since. For the past few weeks, we haven’t been speaking because of an argument regarding his girlfriend.

A little over a year ago, Aiden met Carly on a dating app. All the boys were happy for him since he has been searching for a girlfriend pretty much our whole friendship. He hasn’t had much luck, as he’s only had a short fling many years ago. He has mostly chased women who were not into him. And that caused problems in our group. He would chase a girl, she’d give him mixed messages, end it, and our friends would go after them. This happened twice with two women he was really into but he got over it and moved on.

He’s a great dude but he comes off as clingy sometimes but we never knew how to tell him that. He would chase women, buy them gifts, and do typical friend-zone activities for women who didn’t like him like that. So we assumed Carly would be scared off. But to our surprise, it’s worked out and they live together now.

Carly lives 40 min away from us, so whenever we wanna see Aiden, it’s harder since he works and lives far. Before he met her, we’d hang out all the time. Smoke, drink beer, watch football and ufc. Usually we’d do it in our buddy’s room, but now we’re lucky if we see him 2-4 times a month.

He was living at his parents (We all do as it’s common in our town) and pretty much had it easy since they paid his bills too. But Carly I guess must have nagged him into getting his shit together, so because he was scared of losing her, he moved in a few months ago. He tells us he doesn’t just wanna “Chill in Brad’s room anymore he wants to go out and do things” but we don’t have it like that, and what changed? The only thing is Carly.

She stopped liking us because one day months ago we all went out to the bar, and a buddy of ours started talking about Aiden in front of her and said “Oh yeah that girl Chrissy was all over everybody’s d**k but Aiden” and laughed about him getting rejected. And one of our friends got too drunk and started saying Aiden wanted to “pipe” one of our old friends. She felt “disrespected”

A few weeks go by recently, and ask to hang out with him that night and he said “I can’t. I’m going out to dinner with Carly for our 1.5 year anniversary” and I said “Bro. You’re a simp. Everybody knows it but I’m the only one manly enough to tell you” and said how Carly was controlling and isolating him. So now he ignored me. But why would he go from how we were together, to somebody so distant.

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Decent_Programmer_82 on 2024-01-11 13:58:10+00:00.

I'm 15f, and I've always wanted to do professional ballet one day. A bunch of my pairs of jeans got too tight for me, and my mom put me on an exercise schedule and diet. I didn't like it, but she said I can't expect to be a ballerina if I can't stick to that. We went to a diner, and the diner was having a special occasion where every table got a free basket of rolls. My brother (11) grabbed a roll and acted like he was gonna hand it to me, but he pulled it away at the last second and shoved it in his mouth.

I asked my mom if I could have one, she said no, and I kind of saw red. Things had just been building up, and I wasn't quite aware of what I was doing in the following minutes. I got into a fetal position and screamed into my knees. I kept muttering "I don't want to do ballet anymore" over and over, and my mom recorded me doing this and posted it on facebook with the caption "Because she couldn't have a roll." then grabbed me by the wrist and took me to the car and scolded me for a while

AITA? I feel like I might have been a brat

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Koreana-Santera on 2024-01-11 13:42:21+00:00.

Hello everyone!,

I need some guidance on this situation because I want to understand why my boyfriend might feel uncomfortable with me regarding his religion or "spirituality" as he prefers to call it. To give some background information my name is Bibi (25F) and my boyfriend is Ema (24M). I transferred from South Korea to a University in a major city in the United States. I met my current boyfriend here and things have been beyond amazing and I have never been in so much love my whole life. We both share the same love languages (quality time, physical touch, acts of service) and we want to move in together here while we both finish out masters degree.

In South Korea religion is viewed quite different than people in the Americas. Yes we have Christians there and Buddhist, but in the community I am from Changwon, people tend to be atheist. My Boyfriend comes from a Latino background as he is first generation and believes in astrology, numerology and as he explained to me IFA colloquially known as Santeria. There is absolutely no issue with his beliefs and they are slowly and surely becoming mine as well. Before I never really cared for anything of that nature besides knowing my star sign but maybe falling in love with him has had his beliefs rub on me.

Although my boyfriend is extremely spiritual he is secretive about his IFA beliefs and goes to temples ceremonies and the whole 9; I have always expressed interest in attending one but he brushes me off and tells me its his own religious thing that he does for himself and wouldn't want to convert me if I didn't want too. I went to a couple "tambores" and gatherings and felt welcomed and happy to be apart of something that Ema is so passionate about! Remember how I mentioned moving in together? well if you are familiar with the spirituality, devotees usually have items/idols they worship and pray to around their home. When we first started seeing each other he would cover them before we had sex or mentioned on certain days he blows cigar smoke and alcohol on them.... Now the issue.

When we move in together I don't mind him having any his Orishas around the house but I do mind the apartment smelling like cigar smoke. I brought this up to him and he seemed understanding but prefaced again that these are his spiritual beliefs and respects my request. Ema said he would not mind doing all the cigar smoking and alcohol blowing outside on our patio but then I felt utterly remorseful because I came like a B++++. We have never had a misunderstanding on anything and this situation has made me feel horrible because I want nothing but to support him. I did come off passive aggressive and he was dry for the rest of the time we were together. I brought it up to him a few days later and he wasn't mad or anything but I still feel like I am wrong and have rethought how I may have even invading his space by attending his temple.

AITA?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/GoPutSomeClothesOn on 2024-01-12 04:09:44+00:00.

Throwaway. And the weirdest thing. Just weird.

M39 here. We have two boys, 16 and 14. They are good kids who never give us any trouble (mostly). They basically live in our basement. THEIR choice, they are not relegated there.

It's no dungeon (certainly no kind of punishment). It's finished almost as nicely as the rest of the house, almost like an apartment. Huge bedroom, game room and system, big TV, bathroom, tiny kitchenette, a couple of pieces of gym equipment. It's teen heaven really and they love it, I should have had it so lucky at that age.

For ten days over the holidays the boys went to my brother's family a few hours away to visit their cousin and for some kind of holiday sports camp (all three boys are athletes).

Well, I'll blame this on my brother's free-spirit wife but they are "naturists" as of the last couple of years... i.e. nudists. We warned the boys about it but they said they wouldn't care and wanted to go to the sports thing.

SInce they've been back unfortunately our guys have embraced this "naturism." They were always shirts-off or just-basketball-shorts boys, but now it is as George Costanza would say a nude-o-rama 24/7 down in the mancave.

It's something I just shake my head over, and my wife just rolled her eyes about, but I also don't want them wandering the house in their birthday suits so I made a deal with them "Do as you like, but downstairs."  So that's what they do. They even have 1 or 2 or 3 friends over.sometimes, playing video games or foosball or just hanging out or whatever, just as God made 'em. Gotta hand it to them, they sure seem self-confident. Nonchalant. Unruffled. 

The wife has changed her mind though. The laundry is downstairs and I guess she's tired of going down and getting an eye full.  She told me to put a stop to it. I refused. I told her I'm sure it's just a phase and they'll get over it, probably pretty soon, and they've adhered to the rules I set (they don't come upstairs naked anymore, always at least shorts) so I don't want to go back on my word.  She called me an asshole (although not in those words) and stormed away.

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Timely_Donkey_5812 on 2024-01-12 03:46:43+00:00.

I (22F) have been disowned and NC with my mom (42F) for the past 6~ months. This happened after she flipped out on me for not telling her I got a new phone plan and wasn't using hers (and also changed my number). Since then she has emailed me a few times from burner emails.

Recently, my sister (15F) posted on Facebook asking for prayers for my mom. This led to me asking her what was going on and her saying she didn't know and being cryptic. She later blew up on me and called me heartless, selfish and many other things and said I wasn't a sister to her, most likely because of my mom.

This hurt me significantly because I helped raise her, and I love my siblings dearly. For my health, I blocked her and my mom's numbers (though I later heard she changed it), facebooks and other social medias. Things were quiet for a bit.

However, as of this morning, I was on my way to class when I saw an email from my bank about an updated number, username, and other info being changed. I logged in and knew it was my mom immediately since the email and phone number were hers, and the location was her location (EST, but I'm CST).

She was able to do this because she has my social and knows all my previous numbers and addresses.

I immediately called and got my account locked and plan to have my social security number changed under grounds of fraud, but my sister (21F) mentioned that since it's a felony, if they trace it to my mom then she could go to federal prison or end up in further financial hardship (I grew up in poverty). In the moment I was just so hurt and angry that I reported the fraud, but now the bank is investing themselves and its out of my hands. But I still feel guilty and anxious that my two younger siblings (6M, 15F) might end up in foster care and/or separated. I could take my brother in but my sister just so vehemently hates me I know she'd petition against it.

AITA for reporting the fraud to my bank and not trying to reach out to her first?

Edit for more info:

This isn't the first time she's done fraud with my social. When I was 18 and left home for college, I found my credit score was easily in the 400s and I was facing collections from various banks over bills or outstanding accounts that I never opened. To this day I still have one that refuses to be removed.

Also the account had no money (thankfully) as I switched to a different bank for college and another one even more recently.

I’m in contact with all my family as of college and they all know she’s toxic and not a good parent.

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/stunning_86 on 2024-01-12 03:37:13+00:00.

My husband and I (gay couple) have a memorial shrine in our home, the urns and photos of both of our fathers and dog are displayed. I kept a large paw shaped locket wrapped around my dogs urn, it was filled with a bit of his fur.

My brother, his wife and 2 kids came over for burgers and hot dogs, soon after I found the locket to be missing. We searched everywhere, it was gone. A few days later my brother calls at 9pm and I mentioned that the locket was missing. He casually mentions that he knows, his 11 year old had "borrowed" it.

I demanded it back, that he gets off his butt and return it immediately. He said no, hes tired. I'm angry, go to his house and bang on the door until he opens it and TOSSED the locket at me. It had been opened, my boys fur was missing from it.

I go home and get a call, apparently a neighbor saw me yelling at him and called the cops. So my brother is mad at me, yet still wants to get together for another BBQ. I told him that he and his daughter will need to apologize to me and my husband, my brother refused. Saying shes too young to understand that stealing is wrong and it would just traumatize and embarrass her.

My husband is super non confrontational and says I'm being an asshole for demanding an apology from a kid, that it won't change anything. The fur is gone and nothing will bring it back. My brother thinks I'm an asshole and 11 year olds dont understand that theft is wrong. I believe an apology is 100% needed, as she stole and damaged something precious to me.

So that's where we are. I feel shitty about this and don't know why. Yet I feel that I deserve a sincere apology.

So redditors, who sucks here?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Unique-Ad-6870 on 2024-01-12 02:45:05+00:00.

I 22F was given a beautiful necklace by my stepdad Jake when I graduated college last year. It was from his grandma’s jewellery collection and I wear it everyday.

Jake proposed to my mom when I was 12 and we were really close. I have only met Jake’s family a couple times over the years as they live very far and initially didn’t approve of my mom. They tolerate my mom and me on holidays and are civil for Jake.

A few weeks after my graduation, Jake and my mom passed in an accident and the last year has been really hard on me.

I fell out with Jake’s extended family when I was organising their funerals- Jake was brought up Christian and his family wanted to hold his funeral in their family church. My mom and me are atheist and I know she wanted to be cremated, so this many their funerals would be separate.

I asked James family if we could have a joint wake for my mom and Jake but they insisted on doing it in their church hall which I refused as my mom was not religious and wanted to do it at my mom and Jake’s house. We fell out over this and I haven’t spoke to them since as they decided to hold a wake for Jake in the church and not invite me.

Yesterday, I got a message from Jake’s mom asking for the necklace Jake gave me. She said it’s a family heirloom, to be added to the oldest daughter and she wanted to give it to Jake’s sister who is pregnant. I refused as Jake gave it to me, and she got very hostile and threatened to sue me. I am not sure if she can as Jake was never married to my mom or officially my dad, but he was my dad regardless.

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Sea_Pilot4679 on 2024-01-12 06:46:04+00:00.

Hi, so i (20M) work a good job with good pay and live a simple life. I was trying to get into love again and see who fits me best. Many girls confessed their love to me but i told them its not possible because they had past sexual actions with boys, and my personal preference is someone with no experience as im a person that doesnt care for sex but i also do not trust anyone with a sexual past. AITA?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/AwareTrain4002 on 2024-01-12 06:43:00+00:00.

ok so to start off I met my best friend 5 years ago we will call Leah. And we have been super close ever since. Well recently she moved about an hour and a half away and we havnt seen each other since due to being busy with highschool, exams, ext. But we still make time to FaceTime each other everyday.

Well when she first moved, she had to move schools as well and it wasn’t going very good for her with making new friends. so I would FaceTime her like at lunchtime and talk to her and hopefully make her feel better,because I’m homeschooled and don’t have to deal with not making friends anymore but I get that it sucks.

But anyways she finally met this girl we will call Amanda. I had talked to her a few times like when she was hanging with her and would FaceTime me or add her to our FaceTime call which was only once or twice but I was very happy Leah had found a friend and honestly thought she seemed very sweet!

Until… leah had made a video about me on tiktok saying something like “my long distance bestfriend will always be on top” or something like because we have always been eachothers best friend. so I commented a heart and Amanda takes the time to reply to my comment with “she already has a bestfriend” trying to 1 up me or something?

And I’m not a bitch that takes any disrespect like that, especially when it’s about me and my bestfriends friendship. but all I replied with was “i hope ur joking” cuz that shit was just straight up rude. she replied with “I’m not🥰” so I hit up her dms. we went back and forth for a little bit then she decided to bring up that in the 3 months that her and Leah have been friends, that she has been more there for her than me, and a better friend, and she loves her more then anybody.

MIND YOU me and Leah have been though so much together that we have been right by eachothers side for. for the fucking 5 years we have been bestfriends. so after she said that right then and there I knew I had to come beat this bitches ass😂. and sent the screenshots to my bestfriend.

She then texted me back “i just don’t think it’s that serious” totally shutting down my feeling on the situation. so she has continued to be friends with this girl and also says that when i come to visit her that she will give me Amanda’s location so we can fight, then she will cut her off.

like she’s not even being a real friend so why be her friend in general when she disrespected me and our whole friendship? Am I the asshole because I’m about to call her out and maybe stop being her friend??

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/CLepce on 2024-01-12 02:42:25+00:00.

Back when I(18m) was 8, my parents got a divorce. My mom and dad reached an agreement; she got the Labrador Retriever and dad got me. I haven't seen her for nearly 10 years, until she contacted me two months ago. She said she really missed me but was too ashamed of herself for the agreement to reach out.

We reconnected and I even introduced my girlfriend(18) to her. I made a mistake though. They got along well at first and exchanged numbers, but then gf asked why I seemed tense around my mom. I told her it's because I haven't seen her in almost 10 years. She asked why and I told her about the custody agreement.

My gf then called my mom. She, according to mom's description, 'screamed for five minutes' and called her 'piece of shit.'

Then my mom told me I shouldn't have told my gf that, and that I should've known it would lead to a great deal of embarrassment for my mom.