Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/notorious_bunnyy on 2024-01-12 06:38:45+00:00.

Me, 23F and my mother 55F had an argument in the morning. She was helping my aunt (my mother’s brother’s wife) pay for the installation of WiFi in her new place. My uncle passed away two months ago and it has been hard on us all. We used to love together in what is our house. (All house paid my mother)

My aunt ditched and betrayed us by going to live in another house with her kids without telling us anything. The house was on my uncles name but my mother and my other uncle paid for the remaining amount for the house.

My aunt left by making us the bad guy by saying we did not even help her when mind you we have been doing everything for her since the beginning. She said now her maternal side of the family will do everything for her since we never did anything for her.

Now that is all some background. So today she got WiFi installation done in her place and my other uncle called my mother, saying that she got it installed and wants my mother to pay for the amount. The amount is not the issue. It is the blatant shamelessness that she still dared to ask her for something financially when she clearly said her side of the family will do everything for her now. This has been a pattern that my other uncle and mother have been falling prey to due to them saying it is their brother’s last memory. His kids and they want to everything for them. The same kids who have don’t talk to me when I try to and said that my job does not require someone to have good intellect and anyone can do it.

My mom keeps on putting off repairs in our own house while guilt helping my aunt. While my aunt is living a peaceful life, all happy that she got her own place (she has been wanting to kick me and my mom out of our own house for a few years now) and we out living in a place with so much necessary work required to be done less then the amount they have paid to her.

So today I told my mom while having an argument with her that atleast my aunt is more resourceful than her. That even without a job she is able to get all things like this done while we have to live without hot water in the winters. Am I the asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Long-Mushroom-9002 on 2024-01-12 00:05:42+00:00.

I, F19, have an older brother, 24, who had been dating an incredibly lovely, way out of his league girl for a couple years. He's also cheating on her. I discovered this by going round to his house for breakfast, as previously planned, while he still had a random hookup half naked from the night before. For context, they do NOT have an open or polyamorous relationship before anyone suggests otherwise. I had a go at him for cheating and asked if this was a once off and he admitted he'd been cheating for a few months so I told him he needs to come clean to her because that's so unfair.

Long story short, he said he would but didn't and after a few weeks I told her myself, and she understandably blew up a) over the cheating and b) because he didn't tell her himself. My brother is now blaming me for ruining his relationship and has completely cut all communication with me. My oldest brother reassures me I did nothing wrong however my sister has also cut me off because of this.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/frevawthowlsnfoxes on 2024-01-12 06:27:23+00:00.

For background we found out we were pregnant at about 5 weeks and told my parents we were pregnant the following week. Immediately there was an issue because my cousin’s wedding was the same day as my due date. My cousin is like a sister to us and my parents basically raised her so they consider her their child. They planned to attend the wedding (in another country) and prayed (literally) I would deliver earlier so they could be present at both events.

For the months and weeks leading up to the due date I asked repeatedly if they would be present and they didn’t give me a straight answer. Finally in the last weeks leading up to my due date my mother admitted they were going to my cousin’s wedding and it was a shame the baby did not come earlier. I knew they had already purchased tickets etc because my sister told me. I also found out they would not be back until a week and a half AFTER my due date.

Once my parents returned from their trip they called to ask when they can come over and we told them the pediatrician said they need to quarantine for 10 days(it wasn’t our pediatrician but that’s what the CDC advises). We have told all our friends who travelled the same thing. My parents basically said that’s ridiculous and we clearly didn’t want their help which is why we are making up these arbitrary quarantine times. When I told them we are actually so exhausted and would have loved help earlier in the process we were met with “you will not make me feel guilty for going to my daughter’s wedding”. They said the wedding had been planned for over a year and basically insinuated that my pregnancy should have been planned better.

We were also accused of withholding information when in reality we have shared every doctor’s appointment and discussed in detail all of my concerns about birth. I ended up laboring for 72 hours of which about 60 of those were unmedicated. During this time we were getting photos of their trip and the preparations for the wedding. Even after birth we have sent pictures every day and one my sister’s visited in the hospital the following day after delivery and we FaceTimed with everyone.

Additionally my husband’s mother (who lives with us and has dementia) broke her hip and was discharged early from rehab back home so we were caring for a newborn and an elderly person at the same time. No one acknowledges how difficult our situation is just that they say they want to help and then say we never tell them what kind of help we need. We are basically surviving each day.

To add insult to injury my parents have not bought a single gift in anticipation of my child but somehow feel entitled to have me shorten this quarantine window so they can come over. We are still not even sure how excited they are about their first grandchild. None of my siblings are dating or married so this is currently their only grandchild.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/hearts_lilah on 2024-01-11 23:43:51+00:00.

(I will be using fake names btw)

My ex husband (David) and I were married for 5 years and last year we divorced. We have a one daughter (lily) who recently turned 7 this year.

Lily's birthday was around the corner so I was busy with decorations, the cake and the invitations. I asked her who she wanted to attended her birthday party and she said she wanted her aunts , uncle's, cousins basically everyone she knew from both sides .

I wasn't bothered with lily inviting anyone from her fathers side because we were both familiar and comfortable with them . I called David and I told him about the invitations and he was cool with it until he bought up his wife. He told me that he will bring his wife , he didn't ask me , he told me like he was forcing it because he knew I would say no and I did say no .

I told that I was not comfortable with his wife especially her meeting lily and lily doesn't even know her that much and I haven't even had a proper talk with her before she can see my daughter. The only thing I knew about this lady was that she did something wrong with my husband knowing very well he's married and has a daughter and I was supposed to feel comfortable with that.

He then told me that I was making this about me and not lily , that lily is child , she doesn't even know anything yet and he really wants lily to meet his wife and she also wants to meet her . I said to him that if she really wants to meet lily then she has to speak to me first and see how she really is before I can trust her with my baby.

He replied to me by saying that I was jealous and that I didn't want lily too see her new family and be comfortable with them and that i was hurting his wife because I wouldn't let her see her step daughter who is like her own daughter.

I was done with him and told him if he didn't want to come then it's fine it's not like he payed a single dime for anything for the birthday party and he was crazy for me to say yes to a woman who ruined my marriage and is the reason why my daughter has to grow up with separated parents .

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/yeetaccount27 on 2024-01-12 06:25:30+00:00.

Hi everyone, I’m struggling with a situation with my husband and need some outside perspective.

My (27F) husband (28M) is a fantastic father and partner... when he's awake. He has a habit of falling asleep during our family time. He frequently falls asleep while playing video games with our older child, while laying on the floor to "play" with the baby, or while watching TV together after dinner (these are just a few scenarios). It usually takes a significant amount of effort to wake him, if I only give him a gentle reminder he will fall back asleep almost instantly.

I've expressed my frustration several times, saying it makes me feel like he doesn't value our time together. Especially when it's just the two of us. He has apologized and talked about trying to get more sleep or seeking medical advice, but there hasn't been any change. I ultimately booked him an appointment with his primary care provider to discuss the issue. She referred him to a psychologist, who I ended up having to locate and book the appointment for, and also referred him to do a sleep study. This was months ago and he just booked the sleep study consultation last month.

We both sleep about the same amount, though I think I might sleep a little less considering I don't take micro-naps during the day. Our only real free time starts when our kids are in bed around 8:30 PM. After they're asleep, we both stay up late, about 1:00 to 2:30 AM, playing video games. He doesn't typically seem to have trouble staying awake for that.

However, I feel a bit hypocritical. On the rare occasion that I need to rest or nap, he's completely understanding and takes over handling the kids and household while I lay down. He will sometimes wake up early with the kids on the weekends and care for them while I sleep in. However, it's hit or miss whether I will come out to find the kids awake and in front of the tv while he sleeps in the recliner or if I will find him awake and engaged with them. I can’t help feeling neglected when he consistently falls asleep during the time we could be spending together and I worry the kids will feel the same as they get older and notice this pattern.

So, AITA for feeling upset and hurt over this and wanting him to change his behavior? Or should I just suck it up and let him sleep?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/brownorhazel on 2024-01-12 06:23:54+00:00.

My husband (late 30s M) and I (35F) have been trying to conceive for a little over a year but using no contraceptives since we got married 2 years ago.

My mom is an absolute sweetheart and has been trying her best to be supportive. Like many families there have been some issues with respecting my boundaries in the past. We’ve had some codependency to move past. My mom is very kind and considerate - like drop what she’s doing and run to help you set up your new shed even though she already had plans of her own at home.

Anyway my husband is a very private guy and comes from a culture where men in particular are especially private about this sort of thing. He didn’t want to tell anyone about this or the IVF. I told him I would be telling people about the IVF because I needed the emotional support, but out of respect told him I wouldn’t share his details even though he did say I could because I knew he was saying it to please me not because he was actually okay with it. Even months later he hasn’t told his own family or close friends, only one coworker who is also doing IVF with his wife and he didn’t tell him the reason. For reference, we still haven’t started the process we’re still waiting on a response from a doctor we were referred to.

Anyway, I told my mom in a recent conversation that we only had a 50/50 shot and that we may never have biological children. She was really offended when I refused to tell her what the exact issue is. She said we’d made a “pact” to exclude her and that she was hurt she wasn’t in my “inner circle” except I’ve told so few people and my mom knows the most I’m pretty sure. If she doesn’t it’s because she spends most of the conversation trying to tell me why it’s all going to work out and how she believes I’m going to have a biological child of my own. She compared it to a cancer diagnosis but I think it’s different.

I genuinely feel so frustrated. I don’t want to tell her something so personal and vulnerable about my husband that he himself won’t share with his closest loved ones. Am I the asshole? What do I do?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/wattsbutter on 2024-01-12 06:23:05+00:00.

I am SO SORRY for not proof reading the damned titled, and I’m writing this on a phone, so I apologise for any formatting issues in advance.

My (21f) friend (20m) has recently found himself in an awful situation. He’d been living with his parents still, and they have just divorced. His step-dad owned the house and also was his boss in an electrician job. His step-dad is selling the house which has left my friend both homeless and jobless. His mum is staying with one of her friends because her condo has been smashed in by a tree from a bad tornado we had sweep through and it will take 6-12 months to repair.

There’s not enough space at his mum’s friend’s place or elsewhere for my friend. So, myself and my roomies (my brother, 21m and my partner, also 21m) have offered him our spare room to stay in until his mum’s condo is repaired.

He has moved all his stuff in completely now, and has been here for about 2 weeks. He’s applying to doordash and he’s expected to pay just a quarter of the rent while he stays.We won’t make him pay other bills like internet, water or electricity.

He’s never lived as an adult without his parents, so that mixed with all the bad luck he’s just experienced has made us cut him a lot of slack. He’s only expected to start paying rent whenever he’s able to start working, regardless of how long that takes so long as we see he’s making progress.

In hindsight, I realise we should’ve sat down with him and agreed on alot more things then just money. The most prominent thing so far being guests.

Myself and my roomies are of the mindset that he is not moving in with us, and he’s not a roommate and we don’t want to live with him (and he knows this as he and his partner asked to move into our spare room in the past and we refused as we believe we wouldn’t mesh well as roomies. Some friends need to stay at a distance no matter how much you love them). We have offered him the room only cause he would’ve had literally nowhere else to go if we hadn’t. And as much as we don’t want to live with him, we will never turn our backs on a friend in need like this.

However, he has started acting a little like he owns the place. He’s already invited a friend over twice without even letting us know let alone asking us first. My partner had a firm word with him the first time he invited the friend over about the fact that he can’t just go having whoever he wants over whenever. However it obviously has already happened a second time.

My friend has now asked in these words “you don’t mind if I have my partner around every now and then, right?” To which I ignored because I was playing a video game on my day off with a headset on and in the middle of a very intense moment and he didn’t even have the curtesy to get my attention and wait until I wasn’t occupied first.

So I pose the question to reddit: WIBTAH if I refused his request?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Everydayfxsh on 2024-01-11 23:35:22+00:00.

I 20M have lived where I lived for a year and a half now, recently my neighbor moved out and someone else moved out. I drive a big truck so its difficult to pull out because of how the driveway is positioned. My new neighbor recently started parking her car where I back out to get out of my apartment. Which is in my driveway. I asked her before to move her vehicle, but got nowhere. Yesterday I had it. I was pulling out and as I was nearing her car she laid on the horn for at least two minutes. She got out and started screaming “If you hit my car ill sue you for every dollar you make.” Along with some insults. I had it. I called a tow truck and they impounded her vehicle today because it was on my property. She has since then been slamming on my door trying to get a rise out of me, but thats okay because I have a car.

Am I the asshole?

Edit: i drew a map of the situation on my profile, go look at it if you would like clarification

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/NoobJew666 on 2024-01-12 06:22:51+00:00.

Old web animation immature humor back then would not be suited for today. But I love those videos. It really made me who I am today. They would say a lot of swears, even the other F word. But not in a anit-gayway. They would use it in joke's.

Here’s a list of some of my favorite removed videos from Spazkid.

purple shadow.flv

Parody Inferno : Megaman 1 - Reupload

Random Sonic lines 2 -Reupload

Spazkid28 Confides the No Cussing Club

So am I a bad person for liking them? I mean, they are really fucking funny to me of how much Spazkid was a teenage durtbag back then. Edit: I'm not Homophobic, I'm just a Immature artistic boy that like dick jokes on Newgrounds.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/butstardrop on 2024-01-12 06:18:52+00:00.

So my cousin is visiting, and she needed a room to stay in, so I had to give up mine. I initially didn't like it, but I eventually just let it happen.

However, the only reason I had to give up my room was because my sibling’s room is bigger, and my family thinks it makes no sense to put two people in the smaller room (mine). I prefer smaller rooms because they just feel nicer to me (idk how to explain that), and my sibling prefers bigger rooms to have more space.

But, my room has a bunk bed, so if we share my room we have our own space to sleep. In my sibling's room, it’s a pullout bed. So, throughout the night we’re hitting each other because we move when we sleep.

So, my first thought was, oh, we’ll go in my room so we can really have our own beds. But my sibling refused. So then we shared the room, and I noticed the whole argument that “it’s a bigger room” doesn't work when we use their bed, bc when we pull it out it takes up so much space.

Then my sibling starts dictating what I can and can’t do, and it’s their room and whatever, but it’s a little stupid sometimes. I have very limited space for my things, as I am only allowed the TINY corner of their desk, plus a shelf that they “cleared out” that they didn't actually clear out.

I’m also not allowed to sit on their chair, even if no one is using it. Basically all I’m allowed to touch is my side of the bed.

To make it worse, my sibling insists on doing homework late at night when I wanna sleep, and I procrastinate too, but they could at least do it somewhere else. When we finally go to sleep we accidentally hit each other.

Also I just don’t sleep well in that room because it’s colder and the mattress is more uncomfortable.

But the entire time my cousin stayed, I slept there, and then I got my room back. Now, my cousin is coming back.

I prefer my mattress, my room temperature, and my room size. My sibling prefers their mattress, a bigger room, and a colder temperature. So ofc someone's not gonna be 100% happy.

But, since I’ve already gave up my room, I just thought they could do it this time, so I brought it up to my dad. My sibling overheard and was like “you can’t make me give up my room no matter what”

Then I talked to my dad and told him all everything, and he told me I was making a big deal out of nothing. He was calling me spoiled and ungrateful because I didn’t wanna give up my room, but the thing is I’ve already given her my room.

And when I came back so much was wrong, I had a system in my room, and everything is was different to make space for her. Don’t get me wrong, she’s a good person and if I have to give up my room then whatever, she’s family. But why can’t my sibling do the same? She’s their cousin, too.

If I had to spend a week in a room I didn’t really like, why can’t they do the same?

And I really don’t wanna seem ungrateful or just a spoiled kid trying to complain, I’m just genuinely wondering if I’m in the wrong? I just don’t get why it has to be me.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/sunny543 on 2024-01-11 23:26:46+00:00.

So I (22F) was at Goodwill the other day looking around. On one of the shelves I noticed a basket turned upside down, picked it up to look at it (I was looking for a container to put my jewelry in) and found this really pretty little marble statue underneath. Like one of those ones of a lady with the arms and head cut off. I really liked it and it was only 5 bucks, so I decided to get it. But this lady near me noticed what I was holding and said "Uh oh. This other lady was looking at that. I think she hid it under the basket so no one else would see it". I asked if she was gonna buy it, the lady said she wasn't sure. She looked around and said she didn't see the woman anywhere. I felt a little bad, but I carried it around for a while looking at other stuff, and figured if that lady saw me holding it she could come argue with me if she felt like it.

After maybe 10-15 more minutes of looking, I was ready to leave and went to the checkout. Right when I set my stuff down I heard this voice say "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" And this older lady came up right next to me and put her hand on the statue. I noticed a man was with her, probably her husband. "I was gonna buy this, I hid it. It's mine" she said. I don't like confrontation, but I was also kinda mad that she was already getting in my face. I said "I've been carrying this around and you haven't come up to talk to me about it until now. I didn't know you were set on buying it"

"Well didn't you notice it was hidden? I was making up my mind and I hid it so no one else would see it. And I decided, I'm gonna buy it"

"Someone told me a lady was looking at it, but I didn't know you were gonna buy it. I'm sorry, I'm already getting it" And we both looked at the poor cashier, who kind of shrugged and said "yeah I mean she's already up here buying it. And you can't really call dibs on something, you haven't purchased it yet". Then the lady's husband gets involved and says "cmon kid, let her have the statue. We're gonna put it on the dining room table. Where are you gonna put it, your desk?" And I said YEP I am because I'm buying it.

They both just kind of scoffed and looked at each other like I was some young punk who had just disrespected them or something. I give the cashier my card, I sign for it, he hands me my bag, meanwhile they're still standing there. I don't think either wanted to do something as blatant as physically take it from me. The lady said "You want it that bad, even though I already was gonna buy it? I've been looking for a decoration like this for months. Are you gonna die if you don't have it? And I said "yes I am" and I walked out cause I didn't feel like fighting anymore. Meanwhile they followed me outside (and lucky me we parked near each other) saying stuff like "no respect!" and "unbelievable!"

And I swear to God I think the woman even said "what a little bitch" before she closed her door

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/CutterOtter on 2024-01-12 06:13:20+00:00.

Below is the whole argument, copied word for word…

Critic: If it was mixed good would sound sweet.

Me: Elaborate?

Critic: That the mix sounds like shit. Bass as. No separation. Pretty mono. If mixed properly would just sound like normal music sped up. Sounds like video game music with drums.

Me: Ok geez I expected good criticism but now you’re just bullying, thanks

Critic: Ok geez hear what you want to hear. Bullying? Replace the words "like shit" with bad. Feel better?

Me: I’m literally using GarageBand, okay? What do you want from me? What do you do all day?

Critic: And? You asked me to elaborate. What do want me to tell you that it's mixed really good when it really isn't? Do you want a gold star? It's just game music with diff drums. Do you even know what mono is.

Right now I'm watching mixing tutorials all day. :)

Me: The original post was asking for opinions on the THEME or GENRE

I DON’T watch mixing tutorials all day?

I was never asking for validation on my mixing skills or anything

I don’t feel like arguing with you anymore. Have a good day.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Lookingforadviceldr on 2024-01-12 06:05:59+00:00.

Help??

Hey guys!!! So i live with my best friend and we get along really well for the most part. For some context- last year before my boyfriend ) and i had to start doing long distance he and i would split time 50/50 between our apartments. I’d stay at his like 2 nights a week & he’d stay at mine 2 nights a week, but whenever we were there i felt as thought my roommate was annoyed with us. I always tried let my roommate know when he was coming and there was a handful of times he asked us to stay at his when he was sad. Also whenever my boyfriend comes in town i let him know the dates he’ll be staying here ahead of time (even now when he’s around for 4 nights every 2 months she seems annoyed). Anyways now he’s in a relationship and his boyfriend is ALWAYS here (3-4 days a week) I don’t think they’ve been at his apartment once in the last 6 months. Which is fine it’s his place too but he never tells me when he’s coming over and then they always camp out on the couch and watch TV. So I’m left to choose between being cooped up in my bedroom (which makes my seasonal depression worse) or third wheeling with them on the couch while they cuddle (which makes me sad and makes me miss my boyfriend even more). Am i being unfair or an asshole if i say something and ask him if they can spend more time at his house? Is there any good way to go about this? Hes not great at talking about feelings and I’m worried he’ll think I’m attacking him but I’m miserable in my own home whenever he’s around and I’m sick of it :/ advice would be so appreciate or for you guys to tell me to suck it up and stop being an asshole lol

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Deep-Tone-7013 on 2024-01-12 06:03:04+00:00.

So I’m a maintenance tech and I’m trying to get my rate back up to the next pay rate. After calling the department head, he told me that he was going to go with the 1st shift supervisor and find one of the junk 30in tape machines that is the most intact of the junk ones and give it to me to rebuild from the ground up. I told my shift lead this multiple times that it was suppose to be my test to get my rate back up. And walking out of the office I find him tearing them apart to rebuild them himself. He’s constantly throwing tantrums when he doesn’t get his way. He told the supervisor for that department he’d get a spare ready after I told him that was my project. So I emailed the department head and told him about it. Am I the asshole in this situation?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/PickledCarrot19 on 2024-01-11 22:17:24+00:00.

Before I start, I want to say thank you for all the advice from my previous post.

I decided to take Reddit’s advice and talked to them one more time about the situation.

I called my parents and let them know that we love them and we really want to be there for Christmas. Being so far from my family during my entire pregnancy was really difficult and I had been looking forward to this trip for a long time. I explained again that I know it’s not my room anymore, but if THEY want us to travel cross country with an infant to visit, then they need to make at least a small attempt to make the home baby friendly. Our baby can’t crawl yet, so they wouldn’t even need to baby proof. All we asked for was a reasonable space for the baby and us to sleep in. They cut in saying they have a room for us but we decided it was not good enough. I asked them if they would feel comfortable with me sending pictures of the room to our extended family as an explanation for our absence. They said “no” because it’s inappropriate to air out our business. We ended the call by saying all we need is for them to clear out some floor space to make the room more livable.

The next day I got a picture from my mom of the room. They tidied it up. It was still a bit cramped, but it was usable. From the room they removed a old TV , a swamp cooler, a big stack of of paperwork from the floor, a broken printer, a broken clock, a stack of clothes, the desk chair, extra blankets and pillows that don’t fit in the linen closet, the broken bunk bed ladder, and a large broken picture frame. All of these things were previously either on the top bed bunk, or on the floor. With all this “junk” removed it was actually possible to walk into the room

I thanked my mom and told her that since we had not officially canceled our flight tickets, we would love to still attend Christmas.

My parents are not used to being called out, so whenever it does happen (usually by me) they get defensive but then they later change their attitude and act better. The lack of an apology didn’t really bother me since they adjusted their behavior. They never addressed the room situation, but they cleaned it up and went above and beyond during our visit to make us feel welcome. I guess they just needed some time to think about it.

The trip itself was great. The closet and dresser drawers were still crammed with junk, but that didn’t matter since we were just living out of our suitcases during our trip. My extended family got to meet my son. There hasn’t been a baby in my side of the family for 20 years, so my son got lots of love and attention. He also had the chance to play in the sand and put his toes in the water of the beaches I grew up in.

TLDR; room was cleaned, we visited for Christmas, trip went well.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ThrowRAokalright on 2024-01-12 05:51:34+00:00.

My(25M) brother(23M) and I just went on a vacation with our girlfriends(25F- my gf, 22F-his gf).

For the most part the girls get along, aside from like quick, minor disagreements that last like 5 minutes.

On this trip, shit hit the fan immediately. We'd landed, gotten to the hotel, and were getting changed to head to the pool. My GF and I go to my brother and his gf's room and we knock. He comes out looking just glum. He says she's not coming to the pool because she thinks she looks fat in the two piece swimsuit. My brother invites us in, figuring we aren't going anywhere.

His GF's looking in the mirror, looking sad, saying she feels huge. After about 10 minutes of silence, my GF makes the comment that it's none of our fault that his GF looks or feels fat.

I told my GF to calm down a bit. She goes, " No,no. She knew we had a beach trip coming up, but she decided to over-eat and not exercise, now she's seeing the result".

I told my GF to stop with the nastiness. She goes, " I didn't fly down here to sit in a room because someone's too fat for her swimsuit". She storms away, tells me she's going to the bar, and sarcastically tells us to stay in the room with " BlubberButt".

I told my brother's GF that I wanted to apologize for my GF's words, and went to the bar.

I get down there and my GF gets on me for not backing her up. I told her I wasn't ok with anything she said. I don't agree with calling folks fat, kicking them when they're down.

She tells me I'm a pushover and tells me I need to admit that I'm frustrated by how the trip started. I asked her to just be compassionate. She said she cant feel compassion for a girl who is " nearly 200 pounds and putting on bikinis", and then returned her attention to me not doing what I was supposed to do, back her up.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Ok-Importance6242 on 2024-01-11 21:57:15+00:00.

I have joint custody of my 8yo son Jack with his mom. He will be with his mom tomorrow until Tuesday. She had asked of I would be okay with her and her husband going to California to do a surprise VIP experience at Legoland with Jack. She needs my written consent to take him out of state.

I said to email me the letter and I'll review and sign. She sent it to me on Monday. Well on Monday, she broke her leg and cannot move around let alone get on a plane. I assumed the trip was canceback.

Today she texted me and asked if I was going to send the letter back. I told her how is she going to get on a plane tomorrow when she's still immobile. She said she's not going. Her husband Logan is taking Jack.

I told her to call me.

I said this weird that you want me to sign this letter giving you permission to take Jack out of state when it's your husband. She said by signing it, I'm effectively giving her permission to allow Logan to take Jack to Legoland.

I said I have very mixed feelings about it. I don't know Logan that well and I'd expect him to be a part of this conversation. She got offended by that and said Logan is like Jack's best friend and Jack feels comfortable enough with Logan to call him into the bathroom and shut the door and drives him and his friends. She said nothing has changed. It's still a surprise trip made possible by a stepdad.

I said maybe I'll tag along. She said how about Logan texts you all the time and to let him have this time with his fucking stepson because she's not having anymore kids.

I still haven't signed it.

Edit: For the record, it's not that I mistrust or feel threatened by Logan. My issue is this guy wants to take my kid out of state for a mini vacation and I haven't heard a peep from him. I'm just hearing from the ex.

Edit: I told my ex I would agree if Logan took my 13yo son Bryce (Jack's half brother) and Bryce said he'd go if his best friend Matt can go too. Logan pays, of course.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/throwaway01112024 on 2024-01-12 05:50:36+00:00.

One of my good friends is flying into my city for a wedding and they asked if they could stay with me, and I said yes. I am not going to the wedding nor do I know the person getting married.

My friend did not ask me for a ride to the wedding nor did I ask them how they were planning on getting there. The wedding is about 25 miles away and that's all I know. Would I be the asshole if my friend eventually asks me for a ride to the wedding and I say no?

My reasoning would be that I would not only need to drop them off but also pick them up. That's over an hour round trip twice, for a wedding I'm not even going to. On the flip side, ubering there is $80 each way and I feel bad they would have to spend a lot of money to uber there.

Should I bring up the topic first and ask them how they are planniing to get to the wedding? Or should I just wait until they bring it up?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Tall-Elevator580 on 2024-01-12 05:47:27+00:00.

We are both in med school and finals are coming up in 20 days

Normally, I have no issue with her being on the phone in our room throughout the year, but it does get distracting during this period of time. Not to mention she's really loud. Since the past 10-15 days she goes on calls that last 1-1.5 hours at a time everyday, that too while I'm studying.

I asked her if she could limit the amount of time she's talking on the phone just for the next 20 days (mind you i didn't ask her to absolutely not talk on the phone, just to reduce the amount of time). She got very defensive saying that i always go out to talk, it's winter right now and very cold that's why I talk in the room and just hasn't spoken to me since.

I get that it's important for her to talk to her family and friends but I feel like this is a small adjustment she can make for a few days.

Edit- going to the library isn't feasible for me right now since there isn't a heater there and it's cold as tits where I live. It's also the reason I can't ask her to carry her conversation outside our room- very cold.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/nitrochinchilla on 2024-01-12 05:40:43+00:00.

The title says it all. My ex (first love of 6 years) broke up with me a year ago. It was a rather co-dependent relationship with its problems and I started to realise that very clearly as I started my healing process. The breakup was messy as I did not see it coming, and she hurled quite a few hurtful comments about what I was lacking, and how much I took out of her. She expressed that she wanted to find her own path, be her own person, and she could not be anybody's partner for the time being. I went no-contact, and six months later, she sends The Long Text about how she still loves me. Having been emotionally vulnerable, I gave in and we started talking occasionally for the next half a year. While I kept my distance, I still held on hope for our relationship. During this time, I feared initiating conversation, while she occasionally messages me when she needed to talk or needed some form of emotional support. The conversations were always very nice during which it felt like we could go back to the way we were, especially when she talks about our past and even sometimes insinuate a possible future together. New Year comes around, and I felt a deep sense of dread about this situationship, so I told her I needed to go no-contact again, to properly grieve. She tells me she wants to talk, and I agreed. I told her how I still love her, and always felt bad after our conversations. She cries and tells me how she is also not over me, but because of the circumstances she cannot be with me (we are long distance). In this fit of honesty, she admits that she has been seeing somebody "in order to get over me". This shattered me, as she kept it from me for so long. Worse, finding out about this immediately opened old wounds when she told me how I drained her when she broke up with me, which led to many therapy sessions in which I had to work through what was wrong with me. The fact that she already has a new partner this whole time she still kept in contact with me made me feel used. She then tells me that she feels the happiest when we talk, and she feels like a terrible person for using her new partner and me. She also said that she compulsively stalks me. I was speechless and did not know what to do, and we agreed to discuss about it in a week's time. After about 3 days, I message her to never contact me again because I think that there's no more reason to talk. She has read the message and that's the end of all contact ever since. I've recently been feeling guilty about abruptly cutting off things, even though there is a part of me that knows this is good for me, and that I am not responsible for her feelings. I know what she's done is very shitty, yet, I can't stop imagining how this would hurt her, a person that I truly care for, a person I felt my first genuine connection with. I have also made many mistakes during our relationship, and I now wonder if I should have given her a chance to talk before going no-contact for real. I worry that what I did was immature.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/TheLazyInquisitor on 2024-01-11 21:03:59+00:00.

I (29 M) came home from work and announced that I was going to cook dinner to my (26 M) partner. We hugged and did the usual pleasantries and then I went to the kitchen and started.

I chose to cook a meal which he had been looking forward to (we get hello fresh boxed meals) as I knew he would like it. Half way through the cooking process he came in and saw what I was cooking but said nothing.

Once I had completed the meal he walked in and said "oh just to let you know I already ordered McDonald's" this annoyed me a little and I said "You could have let me know before hand." He then started saying that I could have asked him if that was the meal he wanted and that I had already started making it before he came in.

I said that I told him I was going to cook when I came in and he continued to say that I was pointing the finger at him and that I should have asked him what meal he wanted as he would've told me then.

I came to him later and apologised stating that I only meant to say I just wish he had communicated that he had already eaten. I also repeatedly recognised that I could've asked him what meal he wanted but just wanted him to recognise that he should've told me he had eaten.

He is still refusing to recognise it and is stating that my apology should not be dependant on his.

AITA here?

Edit: Just to clarify he had already eaten the McDonald's shortly before I got home. He did not order McDonald's while I was cooking.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Substantial_Truck_95 on 2024-01-12 05:36:45+00:00.

Okay so about a month ago my friends texted me on a Monday asking if I could go to the movies with them and a group of people from a place I used to work. For context, I got fired from this place after someone there told management I was getting off at 5:30 yet not going to class. I was scheduled until 5:30 because I had a class at 6 and I never missed except one day, not even a day I worked.

Apart from this I stayed amicable with everyone working there and I stayed close with 2 best friends I made working there. In a groupchat they messaged me asking about plans for that Saturday. I told them that in that moment I did not have plans but I had not really thought too much about that considering I work all week and go to school, I often stay in the day to keep from getting overwhelmed. I let them know I would keep them updated.

My boyfriend is in the military and is usually only home on the weekends unless there is a special occasion such as the holidays. This was around the holidays and on Wednesday he texted me that his parents decided a time to decorate their tree. (They do a big thing every year and decorate together, I was already invited to this they just had not set a solid date or time due to my boyfriend being in the military) They decided Saturday night would be the best. I of course made sure I could be there and texted my friends and let them know why I would not be able to attend the movie.

They EXPLODED. Like they attacked me personally for a while and later brought my boyfriend into it by saying “You never hang out with us anymore because your boyfriend is up your a** 24/7” I calmly explained that one of the girls boyfriends has been there every time we had hung out lately and that if it were her in my place she would do the same. She continued going crazy on me and I continued explaining that I now work as a CNA and I’m in 4 college classes that take up my time and I have stayed busy. I always made an effort to keep up with them and message them. I also added that my boyfriend is only home the weekend so I do spend a large bit of the time I actually have with him hanging out. I pointed out that I made sure to never miss anything important such as birthdays (which I was just at for one of the girls a couple weeks prior). In the end she continued telling me I was an aweful friend and then accused me of playing the victim.

I blocked them all and decided that I am too old to be fighting like middle schoolers.

AITA? Am I not seeing something I should reflect on?

(context I am 19F and the girls are 17F and 25F)

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Liapoblete on 2024-01-12 05:34:33+00:00.

I (35f) and my husband (37m) met when I was 16yrs old. I got pregnant 4x. 2 children, 2 miscarriages, all 4 while being on birth control. Eldest is a 17yr old boy and 13 yr old girl. , My mother said to keep the babies as it was meant to be. We struggled in the beginning but now live comfortably in a small townhouse that we own as we like to go on vacations every year with the kids. My daughter and I got into a car accident last year in August. I was stopped at a red light and a lady rear ended us going approx 60 km. (She was on her phone). My daughter got bell pansy and I got 2 cervical disc hernias as injuries. My doctor said it would take years to fully recover so I spent alot of time on bed rest and now using all my energy to work. I was behind on bills as EI was not enough. My employer currently let's me work at my own pace as I am a clinic manager so he understands the severity of my injuries.

My mother and stepdad are big on family gatherings and have been getting upset that I don't go anymore as I am to rest more and have been depressed due to my condition. I used to help with cooking, cleaning, mingling- the perfect daughter. Our national Independence day was coming up, I said most likely not as I work that day and want to rest after. They complained that they bought my tickets (tickets were $10 each). I went for 2 hours, and they made fun of me to their friends when I went to say goodbye. Saying how rude it was for me to leave early, I did not mingle with my step siblings and their families. I ignored their negative remarks and left with my husband. Thanksgiving came up, once again they planned it on the day I worked. I brought up that I was working and asked if they could move it to Saturday instead of Sunday. They replied with no, they had friends coming on the Saturday. So once again, I agreed, saying I'll stay for 2 hours. Day arrives, husband and I found out they invited people we don't know. My mother spent the last hour of my visit mocking me and my injuries.

I messaged her saying I don't appreciate with the way she treats me, and to give me space as she has hurt me with her actions. She said she never did anything wrong, would call me daily, call my husband who also ignored her, and have my stepdad's family reach out to me. I blocked them all. I also found out from family friends that she has been telling everyone how I am a bad mother, I have no right cutting her out after all she did for me and my husband when I was pregnant with both my kids

Of course I feel bad I can't do much with my kids right now, but my kids understand. Money is tight due to my husband loosing his high paying job in January and then my accident. My aunt in Austria and the family friend who told me what my mother have been telling people are saying I should forgive my mother. My husband says it is my decision and he will support me with no matter what I choose to do.

So am I the asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Defoooooneverdying on 2024-01-11 20:41:32+00:00.

Me 28F my partner 26M. Together 2.5yrs, living together 2yrs. No kids.

So i’m pretty talkative but like quietness in the morning before work. I was woken up to a knocking on the front door 7:20am before my alarm was due to go off 7:30am. I got back into bed after letting the cleaner in and my partner cuddled me from behind asking if I slept OK. Truthfully, I said “no”, he rolled over to the other side and I proceeded to get ready for work. We had some minor interactions throughout and I kissed him goodbye and wished him a good day. He then said “sorry for whatever I did wrong”, confused I said “wdym? you didn’t do anything” he said I was clearly pissed off… I said I wasn’t and asked what he meant. Turns out his perspective is that I shouldn’t just say “no” and that I need to give context such as why I slept badly otherwise i’m just spreading negativity and starting his day shit. I kinda lost it. I’m not really a morning person and had a short fuse… possibly bc of my disturbed sleep. Anyway we argued when I came home and he stood by his point that I can’t start the day badly otherwise it ruins everyone’s day.

SO am I the asshole ? I shouldn’t lie and say “it’s fine” when it’s not but also I’m expected to give a detailed report when I’m barely awake, don’t want to talk yet and tbh it feels self-serving. If my partner said he didn’t sleep well, I’d move closer and ask why, I wouldn’t roll away and be annoyed they are spreading negativity. I could be wrong tho. Life is pretty great maybe I should just appreciate more and be thankful I even have a bed, am able to sleep and a job to go to and a cleaner to let in and my answer should for those reasons alone always be “good”.

Help me out. It’s pretty minor but we were really arguing about this so perhaps I’m the asshole. (we’re all good now but I want to avoid this in future).

TLDR: my partner asked how I slept, I said not good, he got annoyed saying i’m being negative, I blew up at him, he says I need to give context but I feel it’s pretty demanding so early in the day.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/No-Pool-8004 on 2024-01-12 05:27:17+00:00.

For context, I 17F, and my boyfriend 17M have been talking about our Valentine's Day plans. This Valentine's Day, a rapper my boyfriend really likes is going to be in the area, and he really wants to go. He's been talking about this concert for so long and he wants me to come with him. Normally I wouldn't mind, I went to a concert with my friend for a band I don't even listen to in August, but I really hate this guy's music. If it even counts as music? It's not like my boyfriend doesn't know I don't like him either, I've outwardly told him that I would prefer if he didn't turn it on around me, and when he does I sit through it because I love him.

The problem I have is, these tickets are ridiculously expensive for the ones he wants. Like, $200 expensive. Now before you freak out I'm 17 and work part-time in fast food, I do not have $200 to spend on an artist I don't even like.

Originally he was going to buy the tickets, and then I would've been willing to go with him, but the past few weeks he's been trying to convince me to pay for my own ticket. When I told him I didn't really have enough money to buy the ticket right now and dip into savings (I'm saving for college), he suggested I get general admission and he can get the VIP pass.

This would mean I get to go in an hour later, and wait for him after. And the ticket would still be like $100. I would rather spend my Valentine's Day with him but I genuinely like hate this guy's music. I love my boyfriend and I would really hate for this to be an issue but I feel like we should spend Valentine's Day together, and I don't see this guy's concert as any sort of romantic or even something I would find like any joy in.

Would I be the asshole if I told him that I don't want to go if I have to pay for my own ticket?