Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/GroundbreakingAd2936 on 2024-01-10 20:54:19+00:00.

Ever since my daughter was 17 she had a newer car to use. When she moved south we gave r her a new Pathfinder for her and her family to use. We paid for it and the insurance for about 2 years. We traded that down to a used cheaper model after a bit. We still paid for it and the insurance. When her husband joined the military we insisted they start paying the insurance at least. Fast forward to now they have a 2 year old SUV which we still make payments on and owe about 20k left. I want to trade it in and have them get a cheap used car for them to pay for. My wife says no. They just bought a used car at over 20% interest rate because their other vehicle was totaled. Her husband has 2 toys one is paid for he could sell and then take their tax return and pay of that SUV. My wife says no. But they insist that they can afford the toys. We buy a lot of clothes and other things for our grand kids as well. Which I don’t mind doing at all. As I see that as being real help. What should I do?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ImportanceMaximum117 on 2024-01-10 20:46:49+00:00.

I recently moved in with friends.

I normally am upbeat and stay positive through most of life’s ups and downs.

But one roommate I live with, is wired sort of the opposite it seems, Normally introverted, pessimistic and negative, through all of our interactions/conversations And open diagnosed Autism spectrum. With social quarks.

Ie; when I wake up in the morning, I normally say good morning to those around me, however they almost always choose to grunt at me instead, which is fine. (I understand and that’s how they communicate sometimes I guess)

But then there was a recent single time I just sort of forgot to say good morning. And as i was leaving the door, they Snarked “GoOd MorNinG!” In a really condescending tone. Which left me confused and a little frustrated. But I just let it go and move on with my day. (was as if they were upset I didn’t say good morning?) Another; got upset at me, that I was using sarcasm in a retelling of a joke, claiming; “I can’t detect sarcasm! So why are you using it?” But then not only, detected my sarcasm presumably? But in fact almost exclusively talks to me in sarcastic rhetoric or in a way that feels like they’re being condescending. Me: “hey, I just finished installing the new kitchen faucet, pretty neat eh?” Them:” pft, we’ll it was super easy to do so…” if it was “super easy” why didn’t you did it? Or Me: “oh you’re up early?” Them: “pfft, yeah ‘early’ I was up x hours before you”

And more recently, they have had this habit of sharing media with me, and the other roommate and then turning around and getting upset when we show them similar content, claiming things like “Bet you didn’t like this before I showed you” “I should have never shown you this content” “I liked this before it was popular” And again I normally don’t feed in, and try not to pay attention to that type of behaviour. But it makes me wonder if I should try talk to them about it again. And it also confuses and frustrates me that, 95% of the time they are showing me content I’ve already seen, I just don’t know how to tell them without hurting their feelings.

In the past when I’ve tried to talk to them about feelings/how they make me feel, they threw a temper tantrum.

Stating “I should have never shared my feelings with you, time to go back to being mute.”

When I ask if they would like to do X; fun thing, (I know they enjoy with other friends), they always shut me down, or shrug and say “I don’t know” Mind you I’ve paid attention to how they treat me compared to others, and for some reason they don’t act this negative to others.

Made me very uncomfortable and almost left, but due to necessity and desperation this is the only viable living situation I have rn.

And while I’ve stayed positive my emotions are starting to catch up to me, and really starting to make me think of this person in a negative light.

yes they make me feel bad for trying, but I’m getting really tired and I don’t know what to do. Am I the asshole for not speaking my mind?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Cxpidz1666 on 2024-01-10 20:43:40+00:00.

So I’ve been friends with this girl since kindergarten and ever since 2021 when I found myself and who I am she has been copying everything that I do like THAT type of person, and like everything if I breathe she will breathe. Now the problem isn’t that she is copying things like liking crystals certain clothes/style of clothing etc and also denying it in a way that is not very believable I could you not she said “I liked this since before I was born” in a serious way like she actually meant that she knew about this before she was alive but things like ED. I once told her about my eating disorder and the struggles I have went through and she just said “eat it’s not that hard🤣😂😂” “look what you have done to yourself 😁” and recently she has been saying she has an eating disorder, she wants to lose weight blah blah blah when she is clearly healthy and never has faced the same issues as me. Today I called her out on it and she denied it like always AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/afterburner2024 on 2024-01-10 20:42:31+00:00.

My husband (36M) and I (38F) separated four months ago and I'm having issues with my ex relating to extracurricular activities for our daughter (4F). History: our child participated in dance and gymnastics when she was younger (3 y/o) and didn't take to either; she's shy and slow to join in activities. She expressed interest last week in trying gymnastics again so I signed her up.

Naturally my ex got mad. His concerns are: I didn't let him be involved in making the decision; I'm purposely excluding him from her life; I'm not communicating or co-parenting effectively because I "should have known" he would want to be involved. He wants to be involved and given the option to be there for "firsts" and events as he sees fit. He requested that I not exclude him if there are "things I would normally be a part of or might want to be a part of (and you know what I mean)".

The facts are:

1. This class was not a first for our daughter. We discussed her starting classes 1.5 years ago, because he lived in our house and I was telling him about options I found in our area. He forgot that she did gymnastics before because he said she's only ever done dance and this class was a first that I excluded him from attending. I've always registered and taken her to classes, appointments, etc. Side note: Since COVID, the studio is still not allowing parents inside during classes. I take her to the door and wait in the car, he's not missing anything.
2. I didn't ask him about starting classes. The class is during my time with the kids (I have primary custody). I didn't ask him to help pay for the class nor to take her to the class. I let him know that she was going on Monday and would be super excited to tell him about it.
3. Historically he expects me to know what he wants and to include him all while accusing me of trying to get back together with him when I invite him. He made the decision to have an affair and subsequently separate, pending divorce. He knew what he was giving up when he made those decisions. He will miss firsts and he will not be there for every important moment, not by my choice.

It seems like he wants to be in control and I’m always the bad guy. He wants to dictate our communication (how, when and what we talk about), what I can do with the kids, what he wants to be involved in with them, and everything else all while continuing his affair, being dishonest, ignoring my communication attempts, and not being forthcoming about his intentions going forward. If this were a major decision like education, religion, medical, etc. I would consult him. But for her re-starting gymnastics, I don't think I need to discuss it with him. Am I missing something? AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/1996pickupstix on 2024-01-10 20:41:39+00:00.

Brief background; throughout my entire life my family has never once been on a leisure vacation together. Every time we traveled was to visit family for a family event. All I remember during my childhood is my Mom constantly bitching how she never gets to travel anywhere, but her and my Dad could literally NEVER plan a vacation. It would end in screaming matches because my Mom would list off 100 places she didn’t want to go but would never provide insight into where she actually wanted to travel. Anyway, we don’t have to dive into that trauma today but this is to paint a picture of what family traveling/planning has always been like. And no, they did not avoid leisure vacations due to finances. My parents have always been well off, my Dad has always had hotel points, and I saw them throw away over 300,000 air fare points because they let them expire before choosing a trip.

Scenario: I (30F) recently traveled to Arizona with my family (Mom 66F, Dad 68M) for my sister’s (34F) wedding. The wedding was in Phoenix and then me, my boyfriend, my sister and brother in law made plans to stay in Sedona the following week. My Mom said Sedona has always been her ‘dream vacation’ and decided she wanted to go too. Unfortunately her schedule only allowed us to drive up to Sedona for a day and enjoy it but I was still happy to drive her and enjoy the experience together.

We had 11 months to plan our vacations. I spent months and months researching and booking everything in advance for my week in Sedona. Excursions, tours, hikes, hotel, and every single dining reservation I made in advance. I kept telling my Mom to book stuff ahead of time because Sedona can sometimes take 1-2 months of booking in advanced during tourist season to eat at the popular restaurants. Throughout these 11 months, I even sent her all of my itinerary to help her decide what she wants to do. I’d constantly ask where she chose to eat, what we’re doing that day, etc but she never responded or put anything into action. Three weeks before we left, she still hadn’t planned anything.. so I decided fuck it and stopped worrying about it.

The day comes and we leave around 10am for Sedona… we get to Sedona around 12pm. My Mom asks “so what are we doing? I’m hungry, where are we eating?” I looked at her and said this is your vacation, I didn’t plan or book anything. You decide what we do. She got furious and proceeded to yell at me. She ended up giving me the first panic attack I’ve had in over 5 years. She was angry for the remainder of the day. We walked 0.5miles at cathedral rock and walked around the tourist trap stores.

So… this has been bothering me as she continues to guilt trip me. AITAH for not booking anything in advance for her day in Sedona?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Aspecs21 on 2024-01-10 20:36:16+00:00.

I (24F) used to be a film major at my other university, but due to the film strike and having only my final projects on my reel, filming jobs were impossible to get. Even the small PA gigs were being taken by the more experienced people who couldn’t find a job. So this year I decided to go back to school for elementary education because it comes with more benefits while allowing me to be creative with my career, which is all I want in a job anyway.

Anyway, for Christmas I begged my parents for a new laptop, but they got me a camcorder and tripod. Don’t get me wrong, I know it was very expensive, but it feels like they aren’t supporting me in my new career choice. Almost every class I have I need to bring a computer. The laptop I have now is bulky, heavy, doesn’t fit in my bag, has to stay plugged in or else it turns off after 20 minutes, takes 30 minutes just boot up, doesn’t connect to WiFi well, and sounds like a very loud air conditioner. They knew about these things with my computer and I know the camcorder and tripod costs more than a MacBook because I looked them up on Amazon. I did need a camera when I was in film school two years ago, but now I’m entering a whole new career I don’t know if I’ll ever have any use for it. Should I tell them I want them to take it back and get me a laptop instead?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/pghdga on 2024-01-10 20:34:36+00:00.

My daughter(11F) (I will call D), has severe life threatening allergies. As hard as we try, there have been times where she has been given food accidentally, or has had food cross contaminated and she has ended up multiple times in the hospital with anaphylaxis. The worst being in the PICU for a week with rebounding anaphylaxis. She has been going to therapy for several years with PTSD because of that particular episode.

The elementary school she attends has a policy where the nurse is the only one allowed to have access to or administer any medication. With her severe anxiety surrounding allergies, she frequently visits the nurses office with the smallest symptoms to get Benadryl and to monitor for any further reactions. The nurse even gave her a silly certificate to celebrate her 200th visit to the office over the years. Nurse and staff are amazing and best part of the school.

Last year, D was in the cafeteria and started experiencing mouth itching, so she went to the lunch monitor(a teacher from another grade) and asked to go the nurse. AND THE MONITOR WOULD NOT LET HER GO. D sat there sobbing for 5 minutes before lunch was released. She ran to office, got Benadryl, symptoms subsided, and I picked her up early from school to sit at urgent care just in case. Thankfully, nothing escalated. Except for me. I escalated. I went scorched earth. I called counselor, district counselor, nurse, district nurse, vice principal, principal, other teachers, other parents, got all who saw this happen to all to sign letters and verify the incident and did all I could to get this teacher fired.

She ended up not getting fired, had to do extensive training, wrote me letter apologizing. I’m still mad about the slap on the wrist. My husband says I am a medium AH. Because mama bear obviously, but I literally tried to ruin this womens career.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/cookieroom on 2024-01-10 20:31:40+00:00.

I (34m) am the legal guardian of the niece Lola (15f). Her mom, Willow, died in childbirth when she was (14f). Her father, Jeremiah, died soon after when the police were trying to arrest him, then 33m.

When Lola was little she asked about her parents. I didn't know how to explain the situation to such a young child and I didn't want her to hurt more than necessary so I lied. I told the truth about her parents dying and some of the details but I lied about much of the context. As she grew she remembered what I said and I felt I couldn't tell the truth at that point. One day she asked about why she doesn't know anyone from his side of the family and I told her that they didn't like that she was from a teen pregnancy and didn't want to meet her, plus we moved from there.

For years there was no issue with this. However, apparently she had recently been doing digging to try and learn more about her parents and meet her grandparents on her dad's side. She succeeded and learned the truth. She is furious I lied to her and wanted me to take her to meet her grandparents. I agreed and things went well but she is still super mad at me.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/kitty-spring on 2024-01-10 20:17:18+00:00.

I was friends with this person since September and recently and December I mentioned their dead name mistakingly mentioned their dead name in a group chat and since then, they have been pissed with me. I'm 100% aware that it was extremely wrong and I feel genuinely horrible about it. At the moment I didn't realize how extremely bad it was but I've had a lot of time to think about it and I said some crap I shouldn't have said and I was being a bitch about the situation put of rage the day of because I was upset.

So AITAH?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/mznas on 2024-01-10 20:15:11+00:00.

I (17 F) have a mother (50 F) who I got into an argument with over pasta sauce and a dog. It started when I cooked dinner a while back and she liked the sauce so much that she asked me to make some more. We didnt have ingredients so she called me during school hours (but it was during lunch) to ask what we needed. I said nothing about her calling me when a simple text message was all that i needed especially because i was in a public setting.

My mom picks me up from school that day and on the way home she tells me we are going to stop by a grocery store. I agree with her and she goes in with me to buy ingredients for tonights dinner, (which i specifically offer to cook this one )((and she eagerly agrees with me.)) She asks me to make the other pasta sauce from the previous night along with the sauce for tonights dinner which i offered. I asked her if then she could walk the dog since im making the sauces and dinner.

Since she told me I had to walk the dog I told her that I was going to leave the sauce to her, she got mad at me and complained that she didn’t know how to make the sauce (a simple google search would have sufficed. I’m not a trained chef) and it frustrated me because why did I have to walk the dog and still make the sauces. By the time I got to it, it would either A). be dark out, B). I would have to leave in between the cooking, or C). Not be able to finish what I have to do/have enough free time to take a minute and relax.

Then she gets mad at me for asking her to walk the dog and proceeded to say I was acting like an adult and had attitude because I asked her to walk the dog while i was cooking what she had asked me for and the dinner for tonight I offered to cook since I was already in the kitchen. It confused me on why i had been expected to make the sauce that takes over an hour, walk the dog, and do my homework when some of it could be achieved by my mom (killing two birds with one stone per se). (She is sitting downstairs watching TV.) I dont know what I really did wrong or why she is so upset by it. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Sick_at_Heart87 on 2024-01-10 20:11:58+00:00.

Hello everyone, I (36M) have a situation that needs your judgement. Backstory is, my dad and my mom divorced when I was very young. My dad moved to Colorado to be near his side of the family and my mom moved to Florida to be near her side of the family. I mainly lived with my mom, but visited my dad over the summers until I turned 18. I joined the military and moved around a lot over the next 15 years until I was retired out. In May of last year, my Oma (88F) on my dad's passed away after a long second battle with skin cancer that unfortunately metastasized to her brain. I miss her very much... She was an ornery little old lady, but I would be to if I had to live through war-torn Germany during WWII as a child, but I digress... I flew out to attended her funeral, and was honored to read her eulogy and be a pallbearer to her final resting place next to my Opa.

I want to preface this by saying that I am not seeking, nor have I asked about any form of inheritance whatsoever from anyone. My late Oma had three children, my aunt (70F), my uncle (65M) and my dad, who is also unfortunately late. He passed shortly after my Opa and my sister passed away in 2012. After my Oma's funeral, we held a wake at her house where my aunt said something really off-putting. She said that as the oldest of my Oma's children, she felt entitled to all of my Oma's worldly positions/assets (house, commercial property, etc). I didn't say much to her, other than ok, but her words didn't sit right with me. Reading between the lines, it felt like a preemptive statement to say you aren't receiving anything.

After I returned home, I received a letter in the mail from a lawyer in regards to my Oma's estate/will. My Oma's will listed me as a individual who was entitled to an accounting of her estate, but not a direct beneficiary. The beneficiaries were only my aunt and uncle, which is fine with me, it was my Oma's wish to have her children execute her will, and I respect that. It's also not an extremely high amount, but definitely a sum that could help, even split three ways. However, with my aunt's statement from before, it appears that my dad's side (i.e. me, and only me due to my dad and sister passing) of the family are not going to share in any of the wealth of his parents. To me, it feels as if my dad and his family doesn't matter to them. That since he died, his share goes to his brother and sister. While legally speaking, this is true, it just feels wrong. That my aunt's and uncle's families are the only ones to gain any inheritance. That my dad's family doesn't deserve a fair share just because he passed away.

So reddit, WIBTA if I cut out my extended family from my life due to the inheritance issue?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Helpful-Return8355 on 2024-01-10 20:09:24+00:00.

M24 here. Last year my girlfriend F23 and I moved in together, all has been great. We have a great relationship, and although I’m using a throwaway account here this is a very minor issue that we actually get some laughs out of sometimes.

My girlfriend works in an office and I work from home because I run my own business. My morning routine is as follows. We wake up, we get ready, she leaves for work, I clean the house, I start working.

Here’s the thing though. Growing up my mother owned a pretty large scale cleaning business, and my first job was being a housekeeper, and I even took on part of the business for a while. The type of cleaning we did was very thorough and I actually really enjoyed it. Cleaning was and is fun for me, and I’m really good at it.

I want to preface that I’m not some sort of neat freak that pushes it on to people. I make messes, and believe that a house should be lived in and sometimes it’s okay to be messy. My whole thing is that I have pretty bad ADHD. Working in the field that I do I really have to be a self starter. If there’s anything that I could be doing that’s not work related I will do that instead of working. So before I start work each morning I make sure there aren’t any chores for me to distract myself with.

I will admit that my cleaning standard is somewhat insane and I’ve had friends comment on how my house always looks like I’m trying to sell it, or that it’s uncomfortably clean.

Sometimes my girlfriend will come home and be like “awe I was gonna pick that up after work” or “I feel bad that you clean everything.” This is always playful and I never make a spectical about the fact that I cleaned. In my head she gets to come home to a clean house, and I get to be free of distractions.

My girlfriend has never once complained but recently some friends of mine made some comments that have kinda gotten in to my head a bit. I was hanging out with a few friends and the subject of me cleaning came up. One of my friends mentioned to me that it’s unfair for me to push my level of “unrealistic hygiene” on to someone else, and the rest of the friends agreed. Another friend also mentioned that if her boyfriend always cleaned her house like that she’d be uncomfortable with doing anything messy in the house. Another friend also told me that my girlfriend probably feels very unimportant, and that I should pull back on my cleaning.

I’m going to have a talk with my girlfriend about all of this but I wanted to know if I’m actually an asshole beforehand.

TL;DR I keep the house very clean, and never leave anything for my girlfriend to clean up. Friends said that it’s assholish.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Sea-Release-6284 on 2024-01-10 20:00:04+00:00.

Throwaway account for obvious reasons

I have an 8 year old nephew named James (all of the names will be changed for privacy reasons) My brother Mike allows James to have 1 hour a day of monitored internet time. A few months ago James was browsing tiktok and he saw a video about this character named the hat man. This really scared James and for weeks he would go wake up my brother in the middle of the night crying because he was scared the hat man was coming for him.

Fast forward a bit. I was over at my brothers house for Christmas break and recently I’ve been getting these meme videos on my instagram of fake gnome sightings. They’re literally just stupid videos of a kid playing and then a poorly edited “gnome” will run past in the background. I find them pretty funny so I decided to mess with James a bit because I know how gullible he is. I sat next to him on the couch and I showed him one of these videos. First video he didn’t seem scared, he just looked at me and asked if it was real and I told him yes. We sat there for probably another 10 minutes watching these videos on this instagram account. By the end he started to look a bit scared but I really didn’t think anything of it. I left the day after Christmas and I jokingly told James to watch out for the gnomes.

A few days ago I got a text from my brother Mike asking me if I showed James gnome sighting videos. I said yes and asked why. Apparently James has been really freaked out the past 2 weeks. He will not go in my brothers backyard to play because apparently that’s where a lot of gnomes are seen. I told Mike that was ridiculous and it was clearly a joke. He also told me James told his friends he believes these videos are real and now he’s being bullied by his friends. Mike said that I know how gullible James is and I should have known better.

James is too old to be believing in stuff like this and I told my brother this. My brother hasn’t spoken to me in a few days now and I’m not really sure what to do. I’m the youngest out of 7 kids and I grew up with my siblings always messing with me and I always wished I had a younger sibling to mess with, so I’ll admit sometimes I can mess around with James a bit. I really don’t think it’s a big deal but Mike is completely ignoring me now

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Individual_Cap_4789 on 2024-01-10 18:34:25+00:00.

My husband and I are married for 8 years now with a child and we both work. At first we used to split every between us and were helping each other out when it came to finances , household and our child. However, my husband got this job offer that paid him 2x more than his initial job. Mind you, his initial job was already a good enough payment but he wanted to earn more. The problem was that the new job required him to be at work from very early in the morning to very late. I told him that getting this job would make him an absent father and husband and that we don’t need it we are good enough. He insisted on taking and he did.

So I told him since he decided to not be present so much in our lives he shall also pay alone because what’s the point of double the amount of money if I still pay with him yet he doesn’t work with me in the house? I told him that this means that he’ll also not be with his child as much so I’ll be making up for that too so it would only be fair if he made up for my financial part too. I was saying this honestly to make him go back on his decision but no he agreed on paying alone. Now I am the one who takes care of the house and our child alone and he pays for everything (I still work too).

This been our life for 2 years until now he is saying I should pay too. I said I am down on paying if he is down on doing his husband and father duties. He said he “can’t” because of his job but I told him that I warned him and that he choose to ignore so now he either bare the consequences or search for another job. He doesn’t want to because he really likes the big income and wants me to pay so that he would save more. I told him that’s not happening I won’t do my AND his duties all alone while he just pays half the bills.

We’ve been going back and forth into this and I am not backing down.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Individual_Cap_4789 on 2024-01-10 18:34:25+00:00.

My husband and I are married for 8 years now with a child and we both work. At first we used to split every between us and were helping each other out when it came to finances , household and our child. However, my husband got this job offer that paid him 2x more than his initial job. Mind you, his initial job was already a good enough payment but he wanted to earn more. The problem was that the new job required him to be at work from very early in the morning to very late. I told him that getting this job would make him an absent father and husband and that we don’t need it we are good enough. He insisted on taking and he did.

So I told him since he decided to not be present so much in our lives he shall also pay alone because what’s the point of double the amount of money if I still pay with him yet he doesn’t work with me in the house? I told him that this means that he’ll also not be with his child as much so I’ll be making up for that too so it would only be fair if he made up for my financial part too. I was saying this honestly to make him go back on his decision but no he agreed on paying alone. Now I am the one who takes care of the house and our child alone and he pays for everything (I still work too).

This been our life for 2 years until now he is saying I should pay too. I said I am down on paying if he is down on doing his husband and father duties. He said he “can’t” because of his job but I told him that I warned him and that he choose to ignore so now he either bare the consequences or search for another job. He doesn’t want to because he really likes the big income and wants me to pay so that he would save more. I told him that’s not happening I won’t do my AND his duties all alone while he just pays half the bills.

We’ve been going back and forth into this and I am not backing down.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Affectionate_Ask8946 on 2024-01-10 17:50:01+00:00.

So all of this happened while we were on a roadtrip out of state. Me (15F), my parents (39M and 40F), and my sister (13F) had stopped at a gas station to find some food and use the restroom.

Ill make it known, I already hate public restrooms. Especially because of how little privacy they allow for. I also have some trauma from when I was younger, as a result I am very private and I get really upset when people intrude on my privacy or my bodily autonomy.

So while I was in the restroom stall I was quite honestly HORRIFIED to see sombody looking into the stall and smiling like it was funny. When I realized it was my sister, I didn't know how to respond. It was mostly a mixture of shock, anger, and disbelief.

Once I was out of the stall I started to berate her and I asked her what the f*** she was doing. What made her think it was okay to watch someone in the bathroom? What if it wasn't me in the stall? She got upset with me and left to find our parents. I followed her and when I found them, she was already telling our parents how I had cussed at her--I'm not allowed to swear especially at family members--and how I had yelled at her when she tried to tell me to hurry up. Conveniently leaving out the part where she looked into the stall.

At first both of my parents were upset with me, and when I explained why I yelled at her, my dad seemed to calm down a bit more. I explained that I thought I was justified to be upset since she was looking into the stall. I asked my parents: "What kind of a perverted freak looks into somebody's bathroom stall?" I did say it pretty loud and some people did turn their heads. My mom got really upset and took my sister out to the car while me and my dad stayed in the gas station. My dad told me that what she did was wrong but that I shouldn't have said that, and I agree with him.

When we went back out to the car, my mom and sister were still pretty mad at me and my mom told me that she was just a kid, she made a mistake, she's my sister so it shouldn't matter, and that she said sorry so it should be okay.

I argued that she was 13 and she should know better. I told her I didn't care that she was my sister, her behavior was disgusting and I wouldn't let my mom try to justify it.

My mom calmed down a bit more, she talked to my sister about it. They still feel like I overreacted and shouldn't have gotten so upset, but I feel like my emotions were valid.

TLDR: My sister looked into my restroom stall so I called her a perverted freak in the middle of a gas station.

So, am I the AH?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/camille00023 on 2024-01-10 17:07:01+00:00.

My sister and I are best friends, and I will be the maid of honor at her wedding. However, I don’t want to drink at it.

I was quite a party animal in college. I never had a problem with drinking, but I’ll admit, it was excessive. Since then, I’ve toned down my drinking a lot. Recently I’ve been getting an IPL skin treatment for my rosacea, which the doctor recommends that I don’t drink two weeks after any treatment. This has been fantastic “excuse” to stop others from peer pressuring me into drinking. I personally get exhausted from drinking now, and I don’t like who I am when I drink (even one drink make me slur my words). As I’m giving the final speech, I want to be completely sober.

I also black out more and more these days. Even on nights where I have maybe one cocktail and a glass of wine, there will be complete lapses that I simply don’t remember the next day. It might be a side effect from my college days.

I booked an IPL session before my sister’s wedding so that my skin will look good (and also so that I won’t feel pressured to drink). However, when I told her that, she was quite upset at me. She said there’s going to be a big after party, and she wants me to be a part of that. I promised her I would still be fun even though I’m sober, but she’s still bothered.

She even asked me to move my IPL treatment, so that I “can” drink.

She said she recognizes that she’s being a Bridezilla — but it’s her day, and on that day, she wants me to drink with everyone. It will feel weird if I’m the only one not drinking, and people will whisper and assume about why I’m not drinking. I feel annoyed that she’s pressuring me to drink when I just don’t want to.

Sure, I’m being sober “by choice”, but why does that not warrant the same level of acceptance?

Be honest — should I just suck it up and drink since it’s her day? Or should I stand my ground and stay sober?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Subliminal_27 on 2024-01-10 17:03:37+00:00.

I (29F) and my business partner (34F) run a wedding planning and coordination business. For context, we have several different packages, but it breaks down to basically A. We plan your wedding start to finish, or, B. You plan your wedding and we are there on the day of to execute the timeline, coordinate vendors, etc. etc. etc. to make sure the day runs smoothly and you have no stress.

Here's what happened with one of our Package B clients:

The ceremony begins at 6PM (in a different area on the same property) and the bride was told that not only would she be the only wedding in the room that she booked on that day, but that because she was the only wedding in that room that day she would also be able to go in there prior to her ceremony to take photos as all vendors had ample time to complete the room setup.

Normally these photos would happen during cocktail hour, but she didn't want to miss out on that so we were trying to accommodate her and it should've been no issue considering she was told that she was the only wedding that day.

Yesterday, we received an email from the florist stating that they couldn't gain access to the reception room, according to the venue, until 5:45PM as there is another wedding occurring in the same room and it ends at 5:45PM. Normally, this would be fine and we would simply rearrange timings and notify the vendors so that they can allocate additional personnel to account for a short setup time.

So, we called the client and asked if she was aware of this (we understand now that she should've called the venue first to confirm this, however it ended up being accurate so it wouldn't have made a difference). She was not and was incredibly upset.

She and her father called the venue and, apparently, went off on them. The venue event specialist then called my partner and scolded her for telling the client stating that "telling her the week of her wedding was bad coordinating practice and that we should've just let it go and then hung up on her without letting her speak. After speaking with my partner about this phone call, I called the event specialist myself to get a feel for what was going on from his point of view. He gave me the same treatment, would not allow me to speak, and hung up on me.

Immediately after we attempted to call the bride at 5:50PM, but she didn't answer. So, we sent her a text to please call us which she also did not answer. An hour later, we sent another text to the group chat we have with her and her MOH (her sister) asking to please call us, but neither one of them has responded. It is now 12PM the next day and she still has not texted or called and we're supposed to have our final call this evening.

So, AITA for telling her that she wouldn't be able to take photos in the reception room prior to her ceremony because the venue booked another wedding during the day and we wouldn't be able to have the room setup completed in time?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Constant_Ball5038 on 2024-01-10 16:04:18+00:00.

My little brother is getting married this coming September. We have the pretty good relationship, the rest of my family however is pretty toxic.

I have lived in Canada for many years; married here and have 3 kids under 5. I accepted the invite to his wedding in New Zealand about 6 months ago and planned to visit for about a month with my husband also. May I add I am born in NZ and all my extended family lives there. I am feeling the pressure and expectation around our impending visit.

But now the date is nearing I am starting to feel this is too overwhelming. Despite the thousands of dollars of tickets that I cannot really afford, I just feel this is too much with little kids. So much can go wrong during 30 hours of travel.

AITA if I say I changed my mind?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Consistent-Tension33 on 2024-01-10 15:45:33+00:00.

Ok title is awful. But my twin sister and I (25) and my wife (36) have been having an issue.

While growing up my sister and I had very traumatic and painful experiences and we had no family support except for our selves.

I haven’t explained in detail to my wife on what we went through. I have explained briefly so she understands but I haven’t gone into details.

The only one who gets is my sister because we leaned on each other to survive. We are both in therapy but we still find more comfort between ourselves than talking about it to others.

As a result we hangout every month. Just us. Of course my wife and I and my sister and her partner have double dates couple of times a month, but we hangout just us for a day just because it’s therapeutic and enjoyable. We joke about stuff in way no one will get it.

My wife doesn’t like this. I genuinely don’t know why because I take her out on dates 2 a week and we have no kids and she hangs out with her friends all the time one on one.

I have talked to her many times about this, saying it just helps to hangout with your sibling just one on one to have fun (she has no siblings) but she says that I’m excluding her from bonding which is not true because my sister has made attempts to get closer to my wife but other that double dates my wife hasn’t accepted.

Yesterday was supposed to be hangout day but while I was playing video games my wife barged in and demanded I leave and spend time with her. I said no Right now I want to spend time with my sister and we can talk more about this at dinner.

She got really upset and now isn’t talking to me. I don’t see how I did anything wrong because i always take my wife on dates and stuff. It’s just one day but idk

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Numerous-Cycle-1895 on 2024-01-10 15:29:36+00:00.

My(28M) Sister(33F) is visiting me this week with her daughter/my niece (13F). I was excited to host them in my house as I haven't really seen my family much ever since I moved away from our home state for my career.

For context, I'm a lawyer at a large firm. That means that I have to take work home often, which is why I have a room in my house set up as an office.

My office has privileged information about cases and clients.

Long story short, when my sister and niece arrived yesterday and after I helped them get settled in, I told them that there's only one rule that I have for staying in my house: My office is off limits.

Fast forward a few hours and Everything's fine and dandy, I'm just sitting on the couch with my sister, watching a movie, until I get a call from a senior associate at work asking me to do a quick review of a document that he sent me via email.

When I get upstairs, I see the door to my office is wide open and the lights are on. When I go in to investigate, my niece is in there sitting in my chair and taking selfies with her feet on my desk.

I was beyond furious,

I only have one rule for guests at my house and it's to stay out of my office. I have that rule for a reason, not only would I be at risk of disbarment but the integrity of the entire case would be jeopardized if any of that information is leaked.

While I'm not accusing her of that specifically, I just don't want uninvolved people in my office taking pictures and posting them on social media where there may or may not be protected Information in view of the camera.

I asked her what the hell she was doing and she said "I was just curious, I want to be a lawyer like you when I grow up"

I told her "get the fuck out and stay out you little bitch".

My sister came running up the stairs after my niece started crying and she told me that I was a "monster" for "talking like that to a kid"

I told her that she had no business being in my office, and my sister said that it dosent matter because "she's just a kid".

So,

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Novel_Particular9610 on 2024-01-10 15:27:34+00:00.

I (26 F) have been in a relationship for a while now and during the holidays the topic of weddings came up while my mother and I were in the car together running errands. When we got to the topic of who I would invite/how large the wedding would be, I said I would be inviting almost no one from my father's side to the wedding apart from one cousin my siblings and I were close to growing up.

My mother was visibly upset. My father is the youngest child in a massive and close family (16 siblings) and they are all very close and have keys to each other's houses, always visit randomly, help with maintenance - the large farm family type. Most of my cousins have had huge weddings (guest lists over 1k and renting out event centers) and my siblings and I are pretty much that side's last chance for their huge family weddings.

The issue mainly rests with my uncle and his wife. They live super close to us and, like the rest of them, had access codes to our house and security systems. This doesn't pose an issue with the rest of my aunts and uncles but one time I drove home sick in the middle of the school day and found my aunt in my sisters' room rummaging through their drawers. When I found her there she ran up, hugged me, said hello, and then left.

When I called my parents at work to ask if she was supposed to be there and what she was doing rummaging through their drawers (my sisters were 10 & 12 at the time and she only had boys in college) my parents said her washing machine was broken and she needed to use ours. When I commented it was weird they brushed it off.

This was not the only time they have been weird throughout my life. As children, we would play in my relatives' basements with their toys and my uncle would ALWAYS volunteer to get the kids for dinner. On our way up the stairs, he would pat our behinds. He would also ask only the girls for hugs and they would always be uncomfortably long. He would tickle us until we were crying and asking him to stop. This continued into our teens when my sisters and I basically stopped going to family gatherings and if they ever came over we would hide in our rooms.

My parents know about all of that but still invite them over, they just ended up begrudgingly changing the house codes after we wouldn't let it go. As far as I know, my parents have never brought it up to anyone and change the subject when it comes up.

I think leaving one family/sibling out of a wedding would be more drama than just having a super small and intimate wedding and only having super close friends and immediate family come (leaving that whole side out almost altogether). My sisters are on the same page as me. My parents disagree and have been upset with me ever since saying I planted this idea in my sister's heads and that I am ruining their chance at having a large family wedding, reciprocating what their siblings did, and that I am/would be causing unnecessary drama. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Numerous-Cycle-1895 on 2024-01-10 15:29:36+00:00.

My(28M) Sister(33F) is visiting me this week with her daughter/my niece (13F). I was excited to host them in my house as I haven't really seen my family much ever since I moved away from our home state for my career.

For context, I'm a lawyer at a large firm. That means that I have to take work home often, which is why I have a room in my house set up as an office.

My office has privileged information about cases and clients.

Long story short, when my sister and niece arrived yesterday and after I helped them get settled in, I told them that there's only one rule that I have for staying in my house: My office is off limits.

Fast forward a few hours and Everything's fine and dandy, I'm just sitting on the couch with my sister, watching a movie, until I get a call from a senior associate at work asking me to do a quick review of a document that he sent me via email.

When I get upstairs, I see the door to my office is wide open and the lights are on. When I go in to investigate, my niece is in there sitting in my chair and taking selfies with her feet on my desk.

I was beyond furious,

I only have one rule for guests at my house and it's to stay out of my office. I have that rule for a reason, not only would I be at risk of disbarment but the integrity of the entire case would be jeopardized if any of that information is leaked.

While I'm not accusing her of that specifically, I just don't want uninvolved people in my office taking pictures and posting them on social media where there may or may not be protected Information in view of the camera.

I asked her what the hell she was doing and she said "I was just curious, I want to be a lawyer like you when I grow up"

I told her "get the fuck out and stay out you little bitch".

My sister came running up the stairs after my niece started crying and she told me that I was a "monster" for "talking like that to a kid"

I told her that she had no business being in my office, and my sister said that it dosent matter because "she's just a kid".

So,

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/HotSpringDrink on 2024-01-10 15:12:37+00:00.

My (27f) husband (33m) and I are currently taking care of his recently orphaned niece (8f) with the plan to later adopt her. Her first name is Kelly and middle name is Ann (fake names) but she prefers to be called Ann and been that way for a few years now. She introduces herself as “My name is Kelly Ann ___, but you can call me Ann.”

My sister (29f) is 8 month pregnant with her first child and several months ago found out it’s a girl. She has always wanted to name her daughter Ann and is excitedly telling everyone. Upon learning of Kelly Ann’s situation and how my husband and I plan to adopt her, my sister told me a few days after that we should start telling Kelly Ann to call herself Kelly instead of her middle name. She said 2 Ann in the family will be confusing so Kelly Ann needs to get used to being Kelly.

My husband said she was being ridiculous and if anything it’s her baby that needs renaming because Kelly Ann has been calling herself Ann for years. My sister argued that she has announced her baby’s name many months ago and we only planned to adopt Kelly Ann recently, so we should be the one making her rethink how to call herself. I joined my husband’s side and told my sister Kelly Ann can call herself however she chooses to. My sister and her husband called my husband and me AH for stealing her baby’s name, so AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/HotSpringDrink on 2024-01-10 15:12:37+00:00.

My (27f) husband (33m) and I are currently taking care of his recently orphaned niece (8f) with the plan to later adopt her. Her first name is Kelly and middle name is Ann (fake names) but she prefers to be called Ann and been that way for a few years now. She introduces herself as “My name is Kelly Ann ___, but you can call me Ann.”

My sister (29f) is 8 month pregnant with her first child and several months ago found out it’s a girl. She has always wanted to name her daughter Ann and is excitedly telling everyone. Upon learning of Kelly Ann’s situation and how my husband and I plan to adopt her, my sister told me a few days after that we should start telling Kelly Ann to call herself Kelly instead of her middle name. She said 2 Ann in the family will be confusing so Kelly Ann needs to get used to being Kelly.

My husband said she was being ridiculous and if anything it’s her baby that needs renaming because Kelly Ann has been calling herself Ann for years. My sister argued that she has announced her baby’s name many months ago and we only planned to adopt Kelly Ann recently, so we should be the one making her rethink how to call herself. I joined my husband’s side and told my sister Kelly Ann can call herself however she chooses to. My sister and her husband called my husband and me AH for stealing her baby’s name, so AITA?