Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Familiar_Drive_5720 on 2024-01-10 15:11:22+00:00.

i 16f have 3 sisters all from ages 17 to 22. My first sister A is 17 and pregnant she didn’t know about her pregnancy until the 3rd month and that’s when everything changed. she keeps using her pregnancy against me by eating my food saying it’s the baby’s fault not me and saying really nasty things about my looks my style ect.

Another thing is when we are with friends family ect she tries to embarrass me the hardest she can saying sarcastic remarks about my looks and acne she was never like this before even when she was pregnant. my mother always takes her side no matter what because she sits there and cries about it. It’s gotten so bad i’ve asked my mom is i could go live with some other relatives a few states away and she’s considering it. when my other to sisters found out they said that i shouldn’t move just because of her hormones changing and i need to grow up

i know he bodys changing aswell as her mindset but is there really a reason to hate one of your sisters while your pregnant?

edit : just to explain how rude she was being we had one of my close relatives around and she asked if i curled my hair i didn’t i’m a mixed race girl and have some sort wavy hair my sister then said “no she probably curls it beacause she’s so white” we are the exact same colour. worse things have happened but their alone the lines of this story all about my looks the way i dress and my body to i’m a chunky girl carrying most my weight in my stomach and thighs so you could imagine the stuff she says about calories portions ect

edit 2 a lot of people have said she’s going to use me as a babysitter. the funny thing is she’s made it really clear she doesn’t want me in her kids life or to have any sort of auntie relationship between her and her kid. she plans to leave her baby at home with my mom while she works baby’s dad isn’t involved and i work and do school from home because of private issues but i’ve made it very clear i don’t want to have any participation in it

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Round_Reveal522 on 2024-01-10 10:31:11+00:00.

My sister has two living daughters. Joy is 15 and she's from her first marriage. When Joy was 8 my sister was pregnant with her second daughter when her husband and the girls' dad sadly passed away. A month later my sister lost her second daughter during the pregnancy. The losses were hard for both but Joy especially struggled to cope afterward. She had been so looking forward to her baby sister. Losing both her dad and sister in such close time and then when my sister remarried 18 months later, it wasn't as easy for Joy as my sister wanted it to be.

My sister's third daughter is Hannah and Hannah was born when Joy was 10. Joy was never excited about Hannah during the pregnancy. My sister really made a big effort to involve Joy and to get her excited. At the time Joy told her she would never be excited for a half sibling the way she was for her real sister and she told her she didn't want the new baby, she wanted her baby sister.

My sister made a lot of effort to change Joy's thoughts on Hannah. When Hannah was a baby she would hold her while she and Joy spent time together and she would try to get Joy to cuddle up with her while she was holding a sleeping Hannah. But once Hannah was around Joy was distant. She admitted she resented that Hannah was born and she lost her real sister.

I suggested therapy for them back then and my sister half listened and sent Joy to therapy. It has helped even if it wasn't how my sister wanted it to be. Joy is still disinterested in Hannah but the resentment does appear to have faded/gone. She's not hostile anymore. She's just not making that sibling relationship her priority.

A few weeks ago my sister learned that Joy has been writing letters to the baby sister she lost. Looks like she started writing them while she attended therapy and she just never stopped. My sister decided to read some of these letters and she was unhappy with the stuff Joy wrote. Things like how she is her only sister. she wishes she was here, she had been so excited not to be an only child anymore. And also telling her about stuff happening in her life. My sister hated how Joy ignored Hannah's existence as her sister. The two of them started fighting because my sister told Joy she has a living sister and she is just as important as the sister she lost.

My sister came to me after Christmas and by that point things were pretty rough between her and Joy. She told me she's disgusted by Joy's dismissal of Hannah and how she doesn't know what more she can do because Joy never outright bullies Hannah but she refuses to try and love her. I suggested my sister could explore some therapy for herself since she never got any after everything that happened. I told her it might help her figure some things out. She told me therapy is a waste of time and money because look at what it did for Joy. She then accused me of trying to pawn her off on therapy instead of supporting her and said I'm her sister and should be doing more.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/EqualEmu449 on 2024-01-10 13:32:16+00:00.

lol title sounds crazy I know but let me just make sure I’m not tripping or maybe I am. Basically my friend (30M) and I (28M) were on the phone chatting while also watching this show together and randomly he brings up how he’s been working out and has been pretty consistent in the gym. Mentioning how his abs, his chest and basically his whole upper torso area are all more defined and chiseled. Then he sends me a pic that takes me about a minute or two to look at because I was caught up in what was going on in the show. Which I guess annoys him a bit because he says: “you still haven’t looked at the picture I sent you.” So I go to look at the pic he sent me thinking it would be a shirtless picture so I could see everything he mentioned (abs, chest etc.) but he sent a picture of him in the gym with a dark shirt on where you can’t really see anything that he wants me to see outside of his arms. So I say: “oh ok I can’t really see your abs and chest and stuff because your shirt covers it but from what I can see you look good.”

But apparently this compliment wasn’t good enough I guess. He felt I was being passive and told me “it’s funny how when you have something negative or an insult about my body you’re loud but when it’s time to give a compliment it’s silence and no applause.

(Which for context: the “insults” he’s talking about were from 4 years ago when we would joke on each other or sometimes get into arguments and I’d say your “square shaped ass” or “you built like a fridge” and he’d respond with “and you built like a stop sign” or “no shape ass” lmao

He has since told me back when I said those things that those original comments bothered him because he struggles with body dysmorphia. So I apologized for it back in 2020-2021 when he brought that up to me and haven’t repeated or commented on his body negatively since then so I thought he’s forgiven me. But now it seems like he’s upset again because of those original comments and are applying them to this situation 3-4 years later. Which has started a debate and caused friction in our friendship.

He honestly feels and said that he had to pull a compliment out of me because i wasn’t enthusiastic in my response and that he had to explain that his chest and arms are more full in the picture before I said “you look good.” Which is true because again i could barely see anything he wanted me to see in that damn pic!! Idk i guess my compliment wasn’t good enough or something? He was so upset that he threatened to end our friendship of 6 years.

So I apologized to him if i came across as if i didn’t care because that’s not how i meant it but he is firm that I was being passive aggressive and shady when tbh I feel like he’s 1.) harboring on those old negative comments because he’s insecure with his body, 2.) never really got over them and is taking it out on me again after all this time, and 3.) was fishing for a compliment and didn’t get the immediate response he was looking which of course triggered him.

So AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/sorryilaughedd on 2024-01-10 13:24:18+00:00.

I (24f) have been dating a guy (29m) for 4ish months. We're exclusive.

He confronted me for keeping in touch with an ex. I was confused, I'm on decent terms with my ex but we don't really talk. I explain that. He told me I'm lying and got irritated, he said he had proof I was cheating on him. I asked him to show me, he told me to just admit it. I don't have anything to admit to, so I didn't.

After more than half an hour of this he finally showed me. He took a picture of my (locked) phone, with a notification from "dungeonmaster" asking if I'm okay to play on Sunday. He assumed it was a kink thing.

I couldn't help it. I laughed. It's so silly. He knows I play D&D (often on Sundays) and he's met the people I play with.

That just made him more angry. I apologised for laughing the moment I was done and explained. He accepts that I'm not cheating, but is still angry I laughed. I get that, but all this could be avoided if he just asked what was going on instead of jumping to conclusions and refusing to show the "proof".

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Useful-Ad4329 on 2024-01-10 13:17:56+00:00.

I (24f) live in an apartment on the top floor. The unit below is a bunch of college aged guys that would have chill hangouts/parties on the weekend. They were never loud but the smell coming from their apartment definitely was.

A few months go by and it seems like one of the roommates moved out (his stuff was all over the stairs for two days). I remember it was Halloween when they started playing loud music for hours but we didn’t mind due to the holiday even though it was shaking our floor. From halloween onward they played music every night from about 9pm to 3am. It’s a 2012 pop radio throwback every night.

Flash forward to now—after months of getting woken up by loud music, reaching out to our office, and even calling in a noise complaint—I was sleep deprived and had enough. One night after being woken up I gave them a few stomp warning to turn the music down or off. They knocked back instead but thankfully turned it off about 10 minutes later.

The next night they played music, I wrote a note and tapped it to their door as my last resort. The note read: “If you’re going to blare music for hours at least get a better taste in music. -your neighbors”.

My plan worked because they never played music again at all but I’m also wondering if my note was maybe a little too harsh? If I got a note saying my music taste was bad I’d be mortified but at the same time you couldn’t pay me enough to blare music while living in an apartment knowing everyone around you can hear it. It’s a mixture of common sense and common courtesy in my opinion.

Also — I never talked to my neighbors directly because my roommate and I have witnessed those neighbors doing deals in front of our apartment (yet we live in a legal 🍃 state) so I did not feel comfortable knocking on their door while not knowing what they were on.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/RamenNoodles2057 on 2024-01-10 13:15:30+00:00.

Long time lurker but made a new account for this. Using mobile so sorry if the formatting is weird.

My (f17) parents have been divorced for 12 years, I've spent equal time at their houses since. 7 years ago, mum started dating Gary (m40s, fake name). Ever since they started dating I've never liked him. We butt heads, he gets enjoyment out of making people angry, and Gary has taken his anger out on me. One time, he called me an a-hole and blamed me for his and my mums temporary breakup (I was 11). He blamed me because I first expressed discomfort about him to my mum. Ever since, I've felt fear of being myself or expressing anything but fake happiness around him.

Since 2020, my mum and siblings moved into Gary's house and it's only made the tension worse. The times when I haven't taken his bait and not react to his inflammatory comments, he's called me a miserable asshole. But if I stand up to him or question him, he threatens me with kicking me out because I'm ungrateful. I hate living with him, I lock myself in my room to avoid him during weekends. I don't know how to act around him.

My dad knows how I feel about Gary. Before we moved in with him, dad and I made a deal to try get along with him. For the most part I just smiled and nodded, only speaking when spoken to. I find it so hard to even "try" to get along with him when I know he likes to try make me upset. Anytime I've slipped up and spoken up, dad's told me to keep trying to keep the peace. I've thought about being at my dads more to avoid Gary.

Here's the incident that's tipped me over the edge lately. For context, there's a rule at our house about food stealing, if it has someone else's name, you aren't allowed to eat it. A rule Gary made. I had a packet of chocolate in the fridge which he saw me write my name on it. One day, I go to have some chocolate and I saw there was less chocolate in the packet than when I left with. Gary grins at me and said "that was some good chocolate RamenNoodles" I was stunned for a second. This is where I might be an a-hole. I snapped "You broke your own rule, Gary. My name was on the packet. What gives?" Gary snapped back "Well, I never made that rule." My mum (who was in the vicinity) said "Yes, you were the one who made the rule". Gary pulled out some snacks from the pantry. He basically said "Well I buy all this food for you, should I label it too? If you can't share yourself then you're so overdramatic, honestly." Then he left.

I was flabbergasted. My sister later said he labelled all the snacks in the pantry and fridge with my siblings names, but not mine. I don't care about him eating my chocolate, I care about how he can't apologise and plays immature games. I'm sick of constantly feeling like I'm playing a character too scared to speak out. I want to spend more time at my dads house away from Gary because of stuff like this. WIBTA if I admitted this?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Texas_979 on 2024-01-10 13:09:20+00:00.

My husband and 2 daughters moved in with his mom and step dad 1yr ago, daughters share a room and husband and I sleep in an addition off the back porch of the house, we divide water, lights and groceries. This last month the light bill was as $300, it's normally $160 or less, my thing is the house is way too hot, 75 degrees in the winter weather it's 30-65 never gets turned down and stays running for 2hrs at times, I turn it down to 74 sometimes 73 because it's way too hot, my daughters sweat and I have their vent closed and it's still hot sometimes I have to Crack their windows. AITA for turning it down and they just turn it back up when they realize I've messed with it? Or what else can I do to help us not get so hot? When we're all home we mainly stay in the back room with our little heater on 70 because it's too hot in the house so we're not using that much electricity

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/groupprojectwork on 2024-01-10 13:07:35+00:00.

I (21M) am in my final year of a computer engineering degree and am taking a course with a major project component. It is kind of open ended as long as it involves certain things and my team decided to design and build a certain kind of autonomous robot.

I'm kind of the defacto leader in the group as I have experience in robotics. I had a team of 3 but then my professor added a 4th person in pur team because she couldn't find a group and had submitted a project proposal of an autonomous robot as well.

We are doing something highly ambitious and I know the members I selected are competent. It is a small programme and I know most of the good students and most people know others however she has always been alone except in year one.

I assigned her tasks that are less complex like setting up the repository and working on the generic parts of the report.

However she got upset at this and called me an asshole and completes her tasks quickly on purpose to show that she has nothing to do.

I've had bad experiences before with randomly assigned people. In first year, I had a random partner for a project who also happened to be the person who always sat next to my current random partner and she agreed to use a different programming language than what was taught with me for the project but then did sloppy work that I had to mostly redo and then I had a whole situation with the Prof when she accused me of intentionally doing the project differently even though she had agreed to it. I was eventually cleared and I think the Prof gave her a zero and she dropped out or chanhed major the following semester. Even though I was in the clear it was very stressful to deal with.

The current partner I have also had joined our university robotics team for a year but she never really made friends there and just did work like it was a job and quit the group after a year and I barely spoke to her there.

AITA here, I really don't want to risk things. I understand the tasks may be mundane but it is a nightmare when people don't do things properly and then I have to take over near the deadline as they won't admit they are struggling from the beginning.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Luckyismydoge on 2024-01-10 13:58:43+00:00.

So, the last couple of years have been tough. I have lost a significant amount of clients as a writer due to chatgpt. I have also lost a significant amount of 'friends.' By the way, when you are broke, you lose people. Lots of people.

So, seeing my chances of getting irl help were severely constrained, I turned to assistance pages on the internet in a bid to stave off starvation.

BAD IDEA.

I was called names. Too many names to write here. The one that hurt most was 'why didn't you pull out?'(context: I'm a single dad and I happened to mention it whilst looking for help.)

AITA for being genuinely in the pits and asking for help?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/CaseMuch9154 on 2024-01-10 12:44:40+00:00.

My sister and I had our sons around the same time. My nephew turned 7 in October and my son turns 7 next month. I was 20 when I had my son and this was a big deal with my sister. She's 10 years older than I am and really had no expectations when it came to me as a mom. She predicted I would end up single and my son's dad would bail and that I would give up within the first year. Instead we are married and we had two little girls after our son.

We are very different parents. My sister is very strict and regimented as a mom and has a lot of rules and "swift, harsh punishments" for bad behavior or any subpar behavior. My husband and I would probably fall more into a gentle parenting kind of deal. We teach our kids how to act in public but we do so in a very different way to my sister and her husband.

My nephew can be very challenging and he's an angry little boy. I suspect it's because his parents are often angry and he is picking up on that and building resentment which has made his behavior worse. Our parents have brought this up to my sister in the past and she has told them it's not true and claimed my son behaves far worse despite them saying it's not even close to the truth.

Our parents had both boys on Saturday and my sister and I arrived at the same time to pick them up. Our parents elderly neighbor approached my sister and told her that she should have a word with her son because of how rude and disrespectful he is to others. My sister told the neighbor that she had the wrong sister and my son was the kid who gets into trouble. The neighbor said she knows the boys apart and knows who the mom to each is. She told my sister that my son was very sweet and showed no disrespect the way her son did. My sister was furious.

The neighbor told her that thanking someone (my son) for picking something up for her does not warrant being yelled at and cursed at by a small child. Apparently my nephew got an attitude and told her nobody has to help her because she's old and can't do anything for herself. My sister went off on the neighbor and said her son is so much better behaved and accused her of spreading lies.

The neighbor walked away mid tirade and then my sister started to turn on me and instead of letting her I said she needs to stop being so bitter and examine her parenting instead of going off on people who complain about her son's behavior. I told her I would not let her take it out on me that she was wrong about me as a mom and that I feel like a lot of her anger comes down to that. That she hates that I don't get the same comments. She tried to yell at me but I just got my son off our parents and left. My parents asked me what happened and I told them. They said I did nothing wrong but my sister and her husband are both now coming for me for what I said and they told me it wasn't my place to say all that disrespectful stuff. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/-Master-Baiter on 2024-01-10 12:39:46+00:00.

So my gf wants to go a strip club and a nude beach w me in the future. I told her i never wanted to do so myself and she can do it alone if she wants to, but she said that now she doesn’t wanna go and called me controlling and an asshole for being unhappy to partake in it. I did express that i didn’t like the fact that she wanted to do so, which might’ve been from my previous trust issues. I didn’t stop her because i do trust her but i wasn’t exactly happy either. Even though i agreed in the end, she felt guilty about my unhappiness and now she’s saying i ruin everything for her and that she can’t even enjoy having that desire anymore.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ThrowRApaylater on 2024-01-10 11:51:27+00:00.

I'm not a fan of how my ex wife discusses our daughter(16F)'s weight with her. My ex is pretty open about what she says and what she does is a lot of what I think are scare tactics, shaming, and guilt tripping.

For the longest time, I wanted no part of that discussion, until I got a text from my ex saying that, during their latest talk, our daughter admitted to being nearly 200 pounds.

I know I'll sound like a deadbeat potentially, but, that made me re-think things. I decided I had to bring it up, but I didn't want to do it like my ex.

Last Friday when my daughter was over for the weekend, I asked if we could chat. She immediately got bummed out, I'm guessing she knew what was coming. All I said was that I had a concern and she goes, " Don't do this, don't go there. I get this crap from mom, don't go there. I'm fat, its fine."

I tried telling her that I'm not going to do what her mom does, I tried telling her that this would be a calm talk. She wouldn't hear it and went to her room.

My sister, after I told her what I'd tried to do, declared me an AH for even broaching the topic.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/NoLaw9302 on 2024-01-10 11:41:36+00:00.

I 20F started online side hustles 1 year ago and I have made a pretty good income since. My sister always wanted to have a horse and I also loved horses. I bought one for myself about 6 months ago. I called her Reina and I have to admit I don't always go horse riding. I told my sister 22F she could ride whenever she wanted and she started taking lessons on her. My sister loved Reina. At one point she tried changing her name but I did not allow it. After a while she started calling her "My horse" and she would frequently invite friends to ride her. I would hear it from the stable owner. I didn't think much of it until recently.

My sister came to me and said she wanted to move Reina to another stable. I asked her why and she said she wanted Reina in the same stable as her friends horse. I didn't like the idea but after all she is frequently riding on Reina and the other stable is also closer to home so I said sure. Then she said she had already arranged everything because she knew I'd say yes. I got annoyed but just let it slide. So last week I went to visit Reina and wanted to ride. Turns out my sister also wanted to do horse riding. I haven't been on Reina for 2 months or so while my sister rides like 3/4 times a week. I told my sister that I only have time that day and said she could rent a horse for that one lesson on my costs.

She then told me that I should just get off of her horse and rent one for myself if I want to ride that bad. We got in an argument and she literally yelled at me for everything. She said that I am a bad sister that I don't care about her that I am a brat and I don't deserve anything. Now our relationship always has been bad and she has always had anger issues but this reaction really pissed me off. I told her that Reina was not her horse in any sense. I pay for all her expenses. I paid for the horse and my name is the name on Reina's passport. I told her that from now on she is not allowed to ride Reina and she can either buy herself a horse or rent one but she needs to stay away from mine. My sister kept yelling and said that I am stealing her horse and that Reina doesn't even know me. She said that I am the worst sister ever and told our parents. My parents think that I am right but that I am overreacting because my sister has always had anger issues. They are saying that my sister really loves horse riding and she loves Reina. I told them she should have thought about that before disrespecting me. So AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Interesting-Cod-5787 on 2024-01-10 10:53:14+00:00.

For context, we have two young children (3 and 4.5 YO, one of whom is suspected of being neurodivergent and is frankly hard work).

My husband has told me he wants to go on a boys trip next year overseas that will cost roughly ~$5k. In full transparency, I’m not saying he doesn’t deserve it. But hear me out.

We’ve been together 10 years and used to travel frequently before kids, often together and rarely seperate. We both travel occasionally for work but when I do, I prep meals for him and the kids for the week etc.

Before our oldest was 1, I moved abroad to his country so we could be closer to his family. BIG adjustment for me. I have an incredibly demanding full time job and am the breadwinner and frankly take on most of the work at home (he is happy to contribute provided he is given very specific instructions and also is allocated “rest time” which is frankly another story for another day).

I think what’s really eating at me is that I’ve been desperate for us to go abroad as a family (we haven’t and mostly for financial reasons). We simply cannot afford it right now between our mortgage, increased cost of living and support our child needs and it’s left me pretty gutted. He’s well aware of this.

I couldn’t imagine saying well I’m going to plan a trip with my friends that will cost $5k. Why do they get it when I have been asking for YEARS?! It just feels selfish. Again he’s a great, engaged dad but I don’t know how about you put that towards your FAMILY vacation first or even god forbid a few nights away with your wife (we have had exactly one night off from kids together in 5 years).

His closest friends have considerably higher salaries than him and wives that work part time or stay at home. Again, I don’t think it’d bother me as much if it wasn’t SO much money (could fly our family of 4 somewhere abroad but closer).

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Living_Carpenter7946 on 2024-01-10 09:27:41+00:00.

So, my daughter, Lily, who's 16, approached her mom about getting some new clothes because her old ones were, according to her, seriously outdated. Without even giving me a heads up, my wife decided to let Lily take the reins and pick out the clothes herself from some websites online

Fast forward to me unexpectedly coming across Lily in a crop top and short shorts. I asked her if she was planning to go out like that, to which she casually responds with a confident "yes." I told her she needed to change into something more appropriate and asked who bought the clothes for her - turned out, it was my wife.

I confronted my wife about it, told her I wasn't comfortable with the clothes our daughter was wearing and suggested we return them. We ended up having a bit of an argument, with my wife saying our daughter is old enough to make her own clothing choices and that there was nothing wrong with the clothes our daughter was wearing and that I'm being too overprotective.

After a long discussion, my wife reluctantly agreed to return the clothes, but on the condition that I tell Lily it was entirely my decision. Now, my daughter knows, and she's not thrilled about it. She argued that the clothes are trendy, and it's a common style among her friends and that I'm the only person who thinks wearing a crop top is inappropriate. But I'm standing my ground, saying that regardless of trends, I won't allow that type of clothing to be worn, not in public at least.

My daughter is giving me the cold shoulder and avoiding interaction with me now. I do feel a little guilty and think I might have been a bit too firm and reactionary, but at the same time I just didn't want to sacrifice my principles. Does that make me TA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/alwaysgirl90 on 2024-01-10 12:56:03+00:00.

I (33F) am getting married in September of this year. We decided that we wanted a child free wedding and everyone one else who has kids has not expressed any issue with this. The issue is with my side of the family and my niece(3f). She is the only grandchild on either side, my parents are disappointed but have said it is our wedding our choice, and I expect that to be the end of it on their opinion. However, my SIL(32f) has decided not to come because we are not making an exception for my niece.

AITAH for not having any children at my wedding, which means excluding my niece from the wedding?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/jitterbug1156 on 2024-01-10 12:49:42+00:00.

One time we had planned to go to the movies with his high school friends; he’s really close to them and I was pretty excited to tag along. While he was driving, he asked me to look at the messages on his phone to see if they’d already arrived and I noticed one of the girls in the group was saved as Miss Babe. At the time, I ignored it because I wasn’t sure how I felt about it.

After the movie, when he was about to drop me off at my house, I brought it up. I told him I’d noticed he had her saved as Miss Babe and asked him why. He said he thought it was a joke. He has people saved on his phone in ways that stir up and inside joke, and I know that’s true but I felt uncomfy with this girl being saved like that.

He said the girl herself saved herself on the phone that way. Given I’d already told him about my theory that she has a crush on him, well, it felt a bit too on the nose.

He hastily told me he’d change it, and I, trying to muster some confidence, told him it wasn’t necessary. He insisted he would and that was the end of that.

About a month later, I accidentally glanced at his phone at the time a message came in from his high school group chat, and it turns out he hadn’t changed how he had her saved at all. It’s been about a week since then.

Our relationship is wonderful, and I really believe I’ve met the love of my life. It’s just this one thing bothers me, and since I was dismissed last time, I don’t want to bring it up again if I can.

I’m not here to police my partner, but I can’t help but let it bother me. I ask you, what do you think? Would you say my fears justified? Or is this just the crazy talking?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/PatternTop807 on 2024-01-10 12:46:32+00:00.

throwaway account. English is not my first language so excuse any mistakes.

My boyfriend (M27) and I (F25) spent christmas with his family for the first time this year (been together for 6m). The thing is, he is a little bit embarrassed about my job and always asks me to lie about it to his friends.

I'm a veterinarian, and currently I work in a slaughterhouse. My tasks as a health inspector are to examine the animals before and after slaughter, to ensure the meat is safe for human consumption. Personally I don't think there's anything wrong with this job, but I see how some people might be offended so I don't mind lying to his friends about it. I usually tell them I work with cats and dogs, since is a crowdpleaser job.

Now, with his family it's different. I don't want to lie to them, because the truth might come out one day and damage the bonds we have. So, when meeting his family members I was honest about my job, but my bf wasn't very happy about it.

AITA for being honest about how I make a living to my in laws?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/CaseMuch9154 on 2024-01-10 12:44:40+00:00.

My sister and I had our sons around the same time. My nephew turned 7 in October and my son turns 7 next month. I was 20 when I had my son and this was a big deal with my sister. She's 10 years older than I am and really had no expectations when it came to me as a mom. She predicted I would end up single and my son's dad would bail and that I would give up within the first year. Instead we are married and we had two little girls after our son.

We are very different parents. My sister is very strict and regimented as a mom and has a lot of rules and "swift, harsh punishments" for bad behavior or any subpar behavior. My husband and I would probably fall more into a gentle parenting kind of deal. We teach our kids how to act in public but we do so in a very different way to my sister and her husband.

My nephew can be very challenging and he's an angry little boy. I suspect it's because his parents are often angry and he is picking up on that and building resentment which has made his behavior worse. Our parents have brought this up to my sister in the past and she has told them it's not true and claimed my son behaves far worse despite them saying it's not even close to the truth.

Our parents had both boys on Saturday and my sister and I arrived at the same time to pick them up. Our parents elderly neighbor approached my sister and told her that she should have a word with her son because of how rude and disrespectful he is to others. My sister told the neighbor that she had the wrong sister and my son was the kid who gets into trouble. The neighbor said she knows the boys apart and knows who the mom to each is. She told my sister that my son was very sweet and showed no disrespect the way her son did. My sister was furious.

The neighbor told her that thanking someone (my son) for picking something up for her does not warrant being yelled at and cursed at by a small child. Apparently my nephew got an attitude and told her nobody has to help her because she's old and can't do anything for herself. My sister went off on the neighbor and said her son is so much better behaved and accused her of spreading lies.

The neighbor walked away mid tirade and then my sister started to turn on me and instead of letting her I said she needs to stop being so bitter and examine her parenting instead of going off on people who complain about her son's behavior. I told her I would not let her take it out on me that she was wrong about me as a mom and that I feel like a lot of her anger comes down to that. That she hates that I don't get the same comments. She tried to yell at me but I just got my son off our parents and left. My parents asked me what happened and I told them. They said I did nothing wrong but my sister and her husband are both now coming for me for what I said and they told me it wasn't my place to say all that disrespectful stuff. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/blondebearsar on 2024-01-10 09:18:52+00:00.

My (29F) fiancé (25M) have been together for 5 years, living together for 2.5 years. He and I both grind our teeth at night, however I wear a night guard every night and he does not. For at least the last year I have been asking him to wear a night guard as I can hear him grinding his teeth at night. Its to the point where sometimes it even wakes me up, but generally it is just a very unpleasant sound. (Nails on a chalkboard level of awful.)

When this first became a problem he went and bought a night guard and wore it but he would spit it out in his sleep. That happened enough that our dog got ahold of it and chewed it up. He replaced it a couple times, at my request, but eventually stopped. For a while I let it go as it wasn’t waking me up and overall I didn’t notice it. I started noticing it again a few months later and asked him to get another night guard. He decided to try using his Invisalign retainers which worked fine, but he stopped using those after a couple nights too.

Since then there have been countless nights of me waking him up to put the retainers in. I try every way possible to wake him nicely, but eventually I have to shake him awake enough and he puts them in while half awake and mad. In the morning I will tell him about it and he says he doesn’t remember. After these incidents I’ve tried telling him how much it bothers me. I tried brainstorming other ideas or finding a compromise but all he says is he just doesn’t like wearing it but he will try to do better.

The last time I brought it up I lost my mind. I started yelling and screaming telling him I can’t stand it anymore. I can’t sleep. The sounds makes me want to rip my ears off etc. He slept on the couch that night and said he would try to wear it more and apologized. He did for a night or two and is now back to not wearing it again.

I can’t take it anymore and I can’t live the rest of my life like this. I don’t know how else to explain to him how much it bothers me. If he wanted to discuss compromise (or discuss it at all beyond complaining about wearing one and making empty promises to wear it) I would offer to wear earplugs or something but at this point it’s the principle of it. He has disregarded my requests time and time again and I feel like he just doesn’t respect me/my needs nor does he seem to care to try and fix it.

So wibta for calling off the wedding over this?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/-Master-Baiter on 2024-01-10 12:39:46+00:00.

So my gf wants to go a strip club and a nude beach w me in the future. I told her i never wanted to do so myself and she can do it alone if she wants to, but she said that now she doesn’t wanna go and called me controlling and an asshole for being unhappy to partake in it. I did express that i didn’t like the fact that she wanted to do so, which might’ve been from my previous trust issues. I didn’t stop her because i do trust her but i wasn’t exactly happy either. Even though i agreed in the end, she felt guilty about my unhappiness and now she’s saying i ruin everything for her and that she can’t even enjoy having that desire anymore.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/HeIIoThereSir on 2024-01-10 06:41:40+00:00.

I (14) recently watched my younger siblings. For dinner I made them PB&Js since it was getting late, and my sister asked for more food. I refused, as I wasn’t sure if they were allowed to eat it, my mom sometimes ‘preserves’ food. When mom got back she yelled at me for “Starving my sister”. My sister is 5, and got a sandwich the size of her face. My mother sometimes takes dinner as punishment. If it was food she was preserving, she would have yelled at me anyway. She pointed out I could have texted her, but she was at a pottery class, which would be an interruption to text, and I didn’t think it was a big deal. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Much_Addendum327 on 2024-01-10 12:36:19+00:00.

Me, 16 F who has a younger sister , 14 F

Being in the same room with her for longer then 10 seconds is like asking to be brutally ridiculed with her friends or just herself sometimes. constantly i am being bullied for absolutely anything about me, the way i walk, talk, act or even the way i breathe. and it’s not in some sort of sister bonding funny joking thing, she can visibly see me in a state of distress and sadness but he honestly doesn’t care and i’ve even told her that i don’t like the way she talks to me and it’s really rude but again, she does not care at all, once she asked me to buy her sugary drinks for me and her (i have a hunch she only added me into it so i’ll be more likely to actually buy it) and i told her i didn’t want to because i didn’t want more acne (the acne that she so brutally ridiculed) then got mad and begged more to just buy it. she only acts nice to me whenever i buy her stuff, only lasts for a short period of time and she goes right back to hating me, i laugh at all her jokes i try really really hard to be nice, i cook her things and make her stuff and buy and or recommend things i think she’d really like and all she does in ruin is do things she actively knows makes me feel terrible. i understand she’s younger then me, i’ve been told my entire life by my adults - “she’s younger, she doen’st know any better” for ANYTHING she could kill someone and they’d come up with some sort of excuse , i really do want to love my sister , i try my best at doing anything she might like even telling her i also like the same things she likes (even if i hate it) so maybe it’ll get her to like me just alittle bit but she can’t even communicate with me without me hating everything about myself , though it’s generous to call it “communication” when all it is that i’m her punching bag.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/TattedAltGirl on 2024-01-10 12:35:22+00:00.

I've recently been offered an incredible job opportunity abroad, and it's like a dream come true, perfectly aligning with all the hard work I've put in over the past decade. However, this exciting prospect is causing some strain between my husband and me. He's been expressing feelings of being left out and seems to harbor resentment towards my success, which is quite unfair considering his own career path. I'm torn because if I turn down this opportunity, my sister might be offered the position, and that thought worries me.

My sister, while highly accomplished in our field, has a tendency to dive into things headfirst without considering the consequences. She's currently staying with us following the passing of her husband, and my concerns about her taking on such a significant role without my supervision add to the complexity of this situation. Additionally, there's some discomfort regarding the amount of time my husband spends with her, especially considering their past friendship.

My grown children, both fully independent now, aren't a direct reason for me to stay, but I've supported them through their education and various milestones. This dilemma of whether to pursue my dream job or manage these family dynamics is tearing me apart. While some of my colleagues might not see eye-to-eye with my decisions, my main aim is simply to make a meaningful impact and escape the complexities of this situation.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/burneran on 2024-01-10 12:23:14+00:00.

Preface:

I am conscious of the possibility I'm a narcissistic person. So I want some outside opinions so that if that's the case I can change that.

Intro:

There's one friend in my group that I care for a lot. And we used to do stuff together alone. But this year I've noticed that behavior and our time together diminish. Like he used to treat me different and now I'm just another face in the group. And it's partly my fault, but there are a lot of factors. And one of those factors is that I'm not sure if he is as fond of me as I am of him.

Info:

I had a conversation with him about this the other night. I asked him why we don't do stuff together anymore. I specified how all the things we used to do together he has either stopped doing or has started only doing them with me when the group is involved. And I asked him very bluntly if that's something he still wants to do with me.

He said that he just forgot. And said said clearly that we'd watch a show the following night. I confessed that this had been eating me up inside for the past few months. I felt the need to apologize because I know how annoying it is when you care for someone and they think you dont. He told me he understands and that he knows I have a tendency to overthink. I left the call that night with a weight off my chest.

The following night rolled around and he invited the group chat to watch a show, not the two of us. And I'm not sure if he just didn't understand or if he just wasn't truthful. And now that weight is back.

It does not help either that when I talk with him about things that bother me I'm an emotionally weak person. So I get a little glassy eyed and have to hold back tears. I get the feeling he's afraid of telling me the truth.

Conversations like that are hard for me to understand for some reason. And they are hard conversations to initiate, especially when our friendship was built on having fun and connecting on that weird almost telepathic level. Difficult conversations eventually flows normally but I'm always the one initiating them. And if I'm the only one initiating these conversations then is it possible I've over projected this relationship and have unwittingly forced someone to be closer to me? If he doesn't feel the same about me as I do him then I'm asking too much of a friend. If that's the case then Im fucked and I've been an asshole to him. If that's true then I've effectively manipulated someone into being close to me.

AITA? What should I do?