Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/maddandd on 2024-01-09 06:37:26+00:00.

I have been in a couple relationships with women and I myself am FtM, a guy. My last girlfriend is an undeniably a queer girl who we will call Tina. In no way am I upset with Tina for that queerness, but I got into a relationship with her because she developed feelings for me first, and me second, resulting in us getting together. I was the first guy that they had liked romantically and had gotten into a relationship with.

I realized that Tina was probably just Bi like me or whatnot. However, when I was first introduced to her house and room I just saw so. much. of the lesbian flags, and paraphernalia. She mostly ignored them and when I brought it up- because it caused me some uncomfort she said that she'd "take them down at some point." This slightly peeved me but even 2 months later they were still up and a very big part of her personality. She also said how she just loved women so much and hated men, but that's not too uncommon of a sentiment.

I have been in relationships similar to this in which it was an indirect way of having a more "masculine girlfriend.". I do not like this, it means that I am not being respected for who I am. This doesn't mean that I accused them of being transphobic or anything it just leaves a bad taste. I also tried to explain how their incorrect "labelling" or whatever pissed me off.

And no if you are wondering- this is not the reason that we are no longer together I was just wondering if I was justified in being upset by someone else's identity. I am pretty sure that she has no intention of fully dropping the label of lesbian.

Also, if you are wondering, I am not a feminine person, I've been passing for a while.

for EXTRA clarity

My pronouns are He/Him

Tina's pronouns are She/They

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/throwaway580052 on 2024-01-09 12:53:03+00:00.

I (21f) got some nice chocolates for both my birthday and Christmas, not crazy expensive, but nicer than I'd buy for myself. I like to have one piece with a cup of tea after dinner and savour them.

My boyfriend (26m) tends to inhale snacks, so I make sure to have plenty on hand if he's coming over, he can polish off a full chocolate bar and a bag of chips easily.

I shared some of the nice chocolates with him, but told him they were gifted to me so not to get into them. He did. He ate all of them. I was given 4 boxes / packages, we ate less than 1/4 of one box, and he finished the rest.

I didn't get angry or anything, I just told him he'd better replace them. And he did, with chocolate bars from the grocery store. I told him that's not at all the same and I expect a real replacement, he thinks this is unreasonable since 'chocolate is chocolate' so he did replace them. I asked why he didn't eat the bars of chocolate I got for him if it's all the same, he got annoyed and left. I still expect him to replace them.

Tldr = boyfriend ate my expensive chocolates, tried to replace them with cheap grocery store chocolate, I asked him to actually replace them.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Angry_Aries2022 on 2024-01-09 06:06:03+00:00.

My (almost 18f) friends 2(18f) and our boyfriends (18m) are planning to go on a summer trip to the beach in July. It is our graduation/welcome to adulthood gift to ourselves. We are paying for everything (Airbnb, food, activities). My parents don’t want me going if there are other guys going. I will be 18 when the trip happens as my birthday is in June. I understand where they are coming from but I want the opportunity to show them that o can do this. My whole life they’ve always told me that I’m mature for my age and that they know I’m responsible. But they’ve also never let me do anything. I was always shut down and treated like I was 10. I am recently overcoming my anxiety disorder and want to prove to myself and them that I can be an adult.

I will be moving away to college an hour away in a year. I feel like this is great opportunity for me to get used to it. The trip is 3 nights. I completely understand where they are coming from with the “no boyfriend” thing. They’ve said before that I make good decisions and that I’ve never messed up and that they know nothing would happen. But that because they’ve always kept me so tight to them. Nothing would happen. I don’t want it to. This trip is all I want as my graduation gift. AND IM PAYING FOR IT. When they told me no I got mad and started crying because this is all I want to prove I’m not a kid anymore. My sister had gone in a school trip in another state and there were boys and they were completely fine with it. She’s younger than me. They said that I can’t compare it and that no was the final answer and that I was being a brat. So AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Necessary-List-7078 on 2024-01-09 02:03:52+00:00.

I usually fall asleep before my boyfriend, most times I ensure my bedroom lights are off. My boyfriend would be up and if I randomly awake in the middle of the night, all the lights are on in the apartment and my instant reaction is to cuss "why are all the effing lights on!?" "This is the BS I be talking about!! All the lights are on!!!". He says I'm talking to him like a child, and that he's using the light. You know you ain't using the light in the bathroom, the light in the bedroom where I am asleep. You know you ain't using all the living room lights. So why not be considerate and take them off???? I would go to sleep hoping he takes them off but he doesnt! Also he would come in bed to sleep and leave all the lights on. And when I get up I have to take them off myself. And make sure the front door is locked, 5 out of 10 times it's unlocked. Why is there a man here that can't ensure a door is locked and lights are off before he goes to bed. You are not living alone. I would get up in the night to pee and have to check the lock to make sure its locked. Cause he's so absent minded. Just make it a habit!! Also when the bedroom AC is on he doesn't care to close the bedroom door!!! Just close the mf door!!!! It's as if he doesn't think!!! Am I slighlty OCD or overreacting??

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/dislikeddil on 2024-01-09 12:32:10+00:00.

I really don’t see the problem here but my boyfriend is perturbed so I’m trying to see if I’m losing it.

My boyfriend Dan and I have been together for about a year. We live in a big city while Dan is from the country so he doesn’t see his family that often. However, I have met them several times, and they don’t like me. That’s fine, I’m not overly keen on them either. We just have nothing in common. I can see them cringing when I talk and they make snide comments about me wanting to stay in a hotel if I visit with Dan, etc.. I want to be clear, I don’t have any problem with this. We are all civil and can have a pleasant time over a weekend or whatever, and it really is fine that I’m not their ideal in law, they’re not mine either. But the facts are the facts.

So the other night Dan and I were having dinner with a friend of mine, and Dan mentioned his sister wanted my number so that she could invite me to a girl’s weekend with her, Dan’s mother, and Dan’s SIL. I said he could give her my number but I’m not going to go on the trip, but I would like to be polite and tell her myself and thank her for the invitation. My friend asked why I wouldn’t go and I said because Dan’s family doesn’t like me and I’m not going to ruin their weekend and mine by going on the trip. Dan balked at this and asked why I would say something like that. I said because it’s true. Dan didn’t deny this, just said that was a crass thing to say and they invited me so I should go. I said absolutely not.

Dan dropped the idea of me going (still thinks I should but knows he won’t win that battle) but is still saying that I shouldn’t have been so blunt in saying they don’t like me, that it was an inappropriate thing to say and paints them in a bad light. I don’t think it does at all. It’s not a crime to not like people, and you don’t choose your in laws, what are the odds you actually like them? We’re all civil and that’s what counts.

Dan is still upset about it, and I don’t really see why he’s so offended.

Edit (I got told to add this for context about their dislike of me) re how I know they don’t like me - They make disparaging remarks about the way I dress, the car I drive, and my cosmetic surgery, to my face. They ask me inappropriate personal questions, they complain about me to Dan (he told me this). They don’t like me. I’m not imagining it. They don’t.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Secret-Office304 on 2024-01-09 01:09:38+00:00.

I know some people will find this to be selfish but it’s just how I truly feel about it. When it comes to gifts i always have high expectations that it would be what i been asking for and in the past that has always happened but now over time it just not the same stuff I want (Games, and other electronics) are more expensive and not everyone in my family gifts those type of things these days most of the time it’s just clothes, perfume, candles, and decor. Which I appreciate 100% but It doesn’t really excite me and it’s not really something I like. Sometimes family members give me gifts for example perfume or candles from bath and body works which is something I like but given to me as a gift is not that exciting because I can get those any day. My family expects me to jump for joy about the gift they give me but I never do I just say thank you and I keep it pushing and one time I was forced by one of my family members to answer how I really feel about the gifts and they wanted a very honest answer (Im guessing they sensed I didn’t like it) and they really demanded the truth so… I gave them my raw honest opinion: “I appreciate it but I don’t truly like it because it is something I can get any other day.” Ofc no one like what I said and I was perfectly fine with it but they explained the items I actually want was too expensive and ofc I understand that but the common things I use on a daily basis being my gift for Christmas or birthdays is not going to make me truly excited about it. Ofc some people were calling me “Selfish” and “Spoiled” and I simply said I knew this already I know I am all these things and I just have a very higher standards for gifts and if it’s not up to my standards then I won’t really like it.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/theirprettywierd on 2024-01-08 23:45:06+00:00.

I (15F) have suspected asd and has always been prone to meltdowns and over the years my mental health has drastically declined. This evening I made me and my mother a hot drink which I bought to her upstairs. I had placed it on the windowsill when my mum started making comments about how she would've rather had me put it downstairs, as she didn't even thanks me I brushed past her to get to my room. She started calling me names and out of frustration I threw my tea down the stairs (for context we had painted it together a few months ago and my mug was metal so it didn't smash), then I continued to my room. After I had calmed down I went back downstairs to apologise to my mum and pick up my mug, when I greated her in the kitchen I apologised and gave her a hug. She ignored me and as I was hugging her she started moving away and I kept hugging her out of guilt. She started getting annoyed at me and told me she made her not want to live (she has told me before that my meltdowns made her want to unlive even though she knew I can't control them). After she said that I was starting to hurt her as she moved around she pushed me off of her and carried on doing house chores. I feel really horrible for this but I'm not sure what to think as I cannot help my meltdowns and could've used a parental figure to comfort me however I knew she was annoyed at me.

Extra note: I agreed to repaint the walls the tea had gotten onto on the weekend and no one got the hot drink on them so aita ?

Edit for context : I am working on my health and speaking to many professionals about it aswell as taking meds .

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Dear-Temperature-511 on 2024-01-09 12:07:47+00:00.

I (22M) have a distant relationship with my dad. It's a pretty simple story. He and my mom were separated but still legally married when she died when I was 6 years old. After that he tried to find a woman to take the role of mom so he found women who were desperate. Since I didn't want my mom replaced, once these women realized that, they left my dad. He went through 4 or 5 women by the time I was 8 or 9 and attempted to put them in the role of mom. He gave up after that and resented me for not letting him find a woman to take care of me.

I moved out and left the state for college when I turned 18. Before I left he admitted he hadn't been a good dad and said he had some regrets and that I was right and he resented me for not helping him keep those past "relationships". I told him he couldn't take any of it back but I wouldn't shut him out completely.

He got married 3 years ago to a woman called "Janis" and she has a daughter who is now 4. I met Janis and the daughter twice maybe. Once at the wedding and once at a family Christmas with my extended family.

I got a call from my dad and Janis at Christmas and they told me they had been talking about the possibility something would happen to them and wanted me to take care of her daughter. They said her bio father and his family are all in jail and would not be eligible even if released to take care of a child, they said my dad's family didn't want her, Janis has no family of her own. They said I would be the next best thing as a sibling. I told them I wouldn't take her either and they needed to figure out another alternative.

They have spent the past few weeks trying to convince me to change my mind. Janis has been blowing up my phone asking me if I'm evil and saying what good am I in the family if I won't take care of my sister. My dad asked me not to be like him. I responded back that I had no children and so I couldn't be like him. He said his stepdaughter is innocent and could be my sibling if I would take the time to get to know her and how important it would be for her to have someone.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Impossible-Feed-2669 on 2024-01-09 10:21:08+00:00.

I'll keep this as short as I can. Using fake names. My (63F) daughter (Hannah - 35F) has been married to her wife (Eleanore - 34F) for the past 11 years.

Eleanore is like a daughter to me. Admittedly, things were not perfect when we met and as a mother I was worried if she was really the person Hannah needed. Eventually though, I saw how deeply she loved my daughter and we both got to like each other. She is just like Hannah to me, and I love and respect her as a person overall.

Eleanore's family of origin were horribly religious. So much so that when they found out about her sexual orientation, they kicked her out at the age of 15. She never talked about them or even mentioned them throughout all these years. She didn't even talk to their kids about them.

Recently Eleanore's mother reached out to her to reunite, saying her father had passed away and he was the main obstacle against them seeing her. Understandably, she has been an emtoional mess since these events started.

I have watched their kids several times while they went to Eleanore's family to talk. While they were picking up their kids, I sat down with Eleanore and Hannah and told her she has been nothing but sad since these events occured. I told her she owed them literally nothing and should just consider all options including not talking to them.

Hannah later called me said I shouldn't meddle in Eleanore's business because even she as Eleanore's wife was just there supporting whatever she chooses, not telling her what to do. I feel like a horrible person adding more pressure to an already stressful situation. Aita?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Icy_Lawyer7445 on 2024-01-09 09:53:41+00:00.

My kid has to sell chocolate covered almonds as a fundraiser at school. I would rather just give them the amount he is going to raise but that isn't allowed. So I told my wife to just pay for two boxes out of my petty cash I keep on my office. I will take the almonds to work and give them out to my guys for free.

My wife says that I'm missing the point and that I should take my son out to sell the almonds. I think that is ridiculous. I think I have better ways to spend several hours than to harass my neighbors trying to get them to buy chocolate.

I told her she could either go out and sell the chocolate herself or she could take my money.

Now she thinks I'm an asshole because I don't value her free time. She is a stay at home mom right now. When our youngest is two she will be going back to work. I work 60 hours a week not including the commute. Now she wants me to spend hours out selling chocolate. No thanks. My free time is valuable too.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/GeneralDrive6485 on 2024-01-09 09:35:08+00:00.

About seven months ago, I (21F) was gifted two bottles of wine that were gifted from a beloved friend for my 21st birthday. I left both at my mom's house for safe-keeping as I went back to my college dorm. Well, I went home for the holidays only to find out that they were missing to which my stepfather confessed that he drank it. I was in disbelief especially since it was clear they were mine (from the very unique packaging and he was present at the gathering), and kept asking whether he was serious. He just laughed each time and said he couldn't find anything like it, etc. never once apologizing.

I then felt the need to leave. My mom followed me to my car and questioned why I would leave such special gifts at the house and why I'm just now asking for it seven months later (not true, as I had asked about it 3 months ago while the house was getting cleaned). She also said that it was an "honest mistake" and that she'll find a replacement, and what more do I want for her to do... I proceed to tell her that I left some possessions behind since it's my home too. I also told her that it seemed like there there weren’t any room for me at her place due to her other family now. There are other instances where my mom would have a pattern of disfavoring me. Anyway, my mom then told me that it sounds like I'm making any excuse to go live with my (biological) dad instead of her and how she's trying her hardest to raise us. She brought up the fact that she pays for my car insurance and phone plan again (which is true).

I decided to live with my grandma upon graduation for my gap year since I don't feel welcomed at my mom's anymore, nor can I live with my dad (even though he offered) since it would upset her. It's not like I expected an apology, but it would've been nice to receive any acknowledgement of how I felt over losing a cherished gift just like that. But am I the asshole for overreacting/blowing things out of proportion especially after everything she’s done for me? And am I also being ungrateful by harboring a bit of resentment towards my stepfather over something so materialistic?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/KillaColella on 2024-01-09 02:21:40+00:00.

My (31F) boyfriend (40M) and I have been together for 3 years. We have our ups and downs, as with every relationship. We can both become highly emotional - with me dysregulated/crying and him dysregulated/yelling. It's not always the best, but we typically have great communication when we are calm and take the time to sit down after, process the incident, share feelings, communicate our concerns, and create plans to move forward. We are deeply passionate for each other and are quite in love.

On NYE, I accidentally burned my breast with a sparkler. A pretty good size burn, 2nd degree. He bandaged me up (he was an army medic) and has been taking good care of helping me take care of it and re-bandaging it for me, etc.

Tonight we were sitting together, chill, no issues, having a good night. He recently bought smelling salts and thought it would be funny to try to make me smell it (or at least, tease me about it and pretend to do it). In the process of lunging towards me in jest to try to make me smell it, he completely fucked around and tore off my healing scab (I didn't have it covered for a moment as I was letting it air out after I had a shower). Needless to say, I got pretty upset and began to cry. In the moment, all I could think about is how much it physically hurt, how shocked I was that it happened, how frustrated and upset that I was about how careless he was to do that, and worried about scarring.

He immediately apologized and said he didn't mean to. He went to get the bandages to redo it.

I was still crying after a couple minutes.

Apparently this was a couple minutes too long. He became hostile and began to yell at me to stop crying and that I was acting like a baby. He raised his voice and screamed at me.

Again, this took place in 3 minutes top. I was not crying for hours or something ridiculous. Maybe for 3-4 minutes.

I became extremely upset for him yelling at me, so I went silent and ignored him for a bit. After, he said again that he was sorry for what happened and that he said he was sorry, but I was acting like a child crying for so long, and we all know what it feels like to have a scab ripped off, and I was being dramatic. I said that I was allowed to feel my feelings (all the ones listed above I explained to him - nervous, physically hurt, worried, etc.). He then got annoyed and basically said fuck you. And I said it's crazy how *I* am the one who got hurt and yet I'm the one being yelled at like I did something wrong. And I didn't even yell at him for what he did! I just cried for a measly 3 minutes.

Now we are sitting in silent anger.

Maybe I'm the asshole because in the end, he was probably just angry with himself about hurting me, and the crying that I was doing was making him feel more guilty.

I don't know Reddit, AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Great_Owl7725 on 2024-01-09 14:15:23+00:00.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 years now and we've had our casual up and downs like any normal relationship, so a few days ago I saw this video on tiktok of two girls testing their boyfriends loyalty and the guys failed so I forwarded the video to my best friend and she said we should do it

We created 2 fake accounts with a fake name and everything with our second numbers, she texted my boyfriend and I texted her's. My boyfriend answered first and after the first few chats were he was still "innocent" he sent me the chats saying"I think this girl is about to ask me out, I'm just gonna block her" this kinda made me happy you so I told my friend that my man won and he's gonna block you soon but then time went by and he didn't block her but continued to talk to the fake account.

My friend started flirting with him and he flirted back and my girl was just sending me the screenshots , now yesterday I sent him the screenshots to explain himself and he just got mad saying why am I playing games and why do I not trust him but trust my friend and since I want to play this pranks with him I should just date my friend

As for explaining himself he said that he knew from the start that it was my friend behind the chats and that he was just playing along and he was not the one talking to her but his cousin. Calling me childish and immature for doing that

He was so angry that I just ended up apologizing for the sake of peace and today it's like nothing happened

Am I the AH??

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Significant_You82 on 2024-01-09 13:24:01+00:00.

I (23f) cancelled on my friend’s birthday trip to Puerto Rico because my bf (25m) thinks girls trips are disrespectful. He also thinks it is dangerous and would rather be there. Barring if his beliefs are good or not, he told me this early in the relationship/fall 2023 and I immediately relayed to her that I had two options.

1. He comes with
2. Or I don’t go/ or I go and relationship is over

For context, I have solo traveled A LOT. And so has she, and while he thinks that is great. While in a relationship he doesn’t think I should be doing that. Once he told me his conditions though I actually felt A LOT better. He would be a fun personal body guard almost, and he would handle all the difficult stuff like getting a rental car. I realized having him on any trip would just make it easier from a safety and logistics pov.

Her birthday trip was going to be me and her in a somewhat party city. I encouraged her to invite friends so it wasn’t only us. I wasn’t even a big fan of her bday location anyways because I have been there already but she booked her ticket and it wasn’t refundable. So I begrudgingly said okay and booked mine, also non-refundable. (I told her yes! Let’s go! At like 8pm on a weekday and she booked her ticket two hours later without telling me…. It is my fault but also who does that…. We didn’t talk about ANY other details.)

Once I told her about my bf’s conditions she wasn’t so sure about it but didn’t say no. We only talk a little after that and a month later, I mistakenly text her that I would come no matter what my bf says, whether he approves or disapproves. At the time, I felt that way. But afterwards, I realized I see my future with him. But I didn’t tell her I changed my mind until a month later when…

She texts me because all of her friends “can’t go on a random trip in feb shockingly” and asks to book a different airbnb and I need to approve asap. I tell her I am not sure if bf is coming yet so I will check that first.

Because of my earlier message she assumed he wasn’t coming anymore. I told her that isn’t what it meant. Then she admits her true feelings. That she ONLY wants to celebrate with me and no one else. That “this isn’t how everything started out.” Therefore she revoked my bf’s presence completely.

I don’t want my relationship to be over so I told her flat out. I couldn’t come but I also was spending over $5k in December alone because I needed oral surgery and got in a car accident. So it was a smart decision for me EITHER to take a random trip in February.

Context: I have a full time hybrid job and she does contract work. Pretty sure she isn’t working February at all.

She blocked and unfollowed me on instagram and while I don’t care about that as I find it childish. I want to know if I am the asshole or not.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Great_Owl7725 on 2024-01-09 14:15:23+00:00.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 years now and we've had our casual up and downs like any normal relationship, so a few days ago I saw this video on tiktok of two girls testing their boyfriends loyalty and the guys failed so I forwarded the video to my best friend and she said we should do it

We created 2 fake accounts with a fake name and everything with our second numbers, she texted my boyfriend and I texted her's. My boyfriend answered first and after the first few chats were he was still "innocent" he sent me the chats saying"I think this girl is about to ask me out, I'm just gonna block her" this kinda made me happy you so I told my friend that my man won and he's gonna block you soon but then time went by and he didn't block her but continued to talk to the fake account.

My friend started flirting with him and he flirted back and my girl was just sending me the screenshots , now yesterday I sent him the screenshots to explain himself and he just got mad saying why am I playing games and why do I not trust him but trust my friend and since I want to play this pranks with him I should just date my friend

As for explaining himself he said that he knew from the start that it was my friend behind the chats and that he was just playing along and he was not the one talking to her but his cousin. Calling me childish and immature for doing that

He was so angry that I just ended up apologizing for the sake of peace and today it's like nothing happened

Am I the AH??

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Plane-Telephone-2253 on 2024-01-09 12:48:13+00:00.

I 26 f have a 6 year old son. He has ADHD. He has absolutely no filter. We recently attended a furneral and we all started singing. After the song's were sung and everyone was silent, my son turned to me and said it's a good thing she's dead and she doesn't have to hear all that awful singing! I wanted to sink into my chair when people turned to gave us dirty looks. Later my grand aunt approached me and said he needs be severally punished. I did apologize and made him apologize too, but said I'm not going to punish him for telling the truth, you all sounded like how a cat sounds when it's tail gets stepped on! She got mad and said I can see where he gets his disrespecting behavior from! She obviously went around stirring the pot and now there talk off me and my son not being able to attend future events because I'm unable to control my disrespecting son. It's making me think AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Significant_You82 on 2024-01-09 13:24:01+00:00.

I (23f) cancelled on my friend’s birthday trip to Puerto Rico because my bf (25m) thinks girls trips are disrespectful. He also thinks it is dangerous and would rather be there. Barring if his beliefs are good or not, he told me this early in the relationship/fall 2023 and I immediately relayed to her that I had two options.

1. He comes with
2. Or I don’t go/ or I go and relationship is over

For context, I have solo traveled A LOT. And so has she, and while he thinks that is great. While in a relationship he doesn’t think I should be doing that. Once he told me his conditions though I actually felt A LOT better. He would be a fun personal body guard almost, and he would handle all the difficult stuff like getting a rental car. I realized having him on any trip would just make it easier from a safety and logistics pov.

Her birthday trip was going to be me and her in a somewhat party city. I encouraged her to invite friends so it wasn’t only us. I wasn’t even a big fan of her bday location anyways because I have been there already but she booked her ticket and it wasn’t refundable. So I begrudgingly said okay and booked mine, also non-refundable. (I told her yes! Let’s go! At like 8pm on a weekday and she booked her ticket two hours later without telling me…. It is my fault but also who does that…. We didn’t talk about ANY other details.)

Once I told her about my bf’s conditions she wasn’t so sure about it but didn’t say no. We only talk a little after that and a month later, I mistakenly text her that I would come no matter what my bf says, whether he approves or disapproves. At the time, I felt that way. But afterwards, I realized I see my future with him. But I didn’t tell her I changed my mind until a month later when…

She texts me because all of her friends “can’t go on a random trip in feb shockingly” and asks to book a different airbnb and I need to approve asap. I tell her I am not sure if bf is coming yet so I will check that first.

Because of my earlier message she assumed he wasn’t coming anymore. I told her that isn’t what it meant. Then she admits her true feelings. That she ONLY wants to celebrate with me and no one else. That “this isn’t how everything started out.” Therefore she revoked my bf’s presence completely.

I don’t want my relationship to be over so I told her flat out. I couldn’t come but I also was spending over $5k in December alone because I needed oral surgery and got in a car accident. So it was a smart decision for me EITHER to take a random trip in February.

Context: I have a full time hybrid job and she does contract work. Pretty sure she isn’t working February at all.

She blocked and unfollowed me on instagram and while I don’t care about that as I find it childish. I want to know if I am the asshole or not.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Glittering-Fig3103 on 2024-01-09 12:43:14+00:00.

I 17f have a 10 year old sister

My parents planned a weekend getaway trip they hired a babysitter for my 10 year old sister I was planning on hanging out with my friends last weekend.

The babysitter canceled last minute due to an emergency and my parents couldn't find another babysitter so they told me to babysit

I was angry because they could have canceled the trip but instead they made me babysit I tried to convince my parents but they made me cancel my plans and babysit.

I babysat from Friday night to Saturday evening when my parents hired another babysitter to come but I had already missed hangout plans on Saturday with my friends.

It isn't my response to take care of my sister as I didn't choose to have a sister So my parents should take the sacrifice and cancel the trip.

My parents gave me 400 dollars for babysitting but this showed that they didn't care about my thoughts or wants.

They are calling me ungrateful I've been pissed at my parents for a while now

AITA

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Plane-Telephone-2253 on 2024-01-09 12:48:13+00:00.

I 26 f have a 6 year old son. He has ADHD. He has absolutely no filter. We recently attended a furneral and we all started singing. After the song's were sung and everyone was silent, my son turned to me and said it's a good thing she's dead and she doesn't have to hear all that awful singing! I wanted to sink into my chair when people turned to gave us dirty looks. Later my grand aunt approached me and said he needs be severally punished. I did apologize and made him apologize too, but said I'm not going to punish him for telling the truth, you all sounded like how a cat sounds when it's tail gets stepped on! She got mad and said I can see where he gets his disrespecting behavior from! She obviously went around stirring the pot and now there talk off me and my son not being able to attend future events because I'm unable to control my disrespecting son. It's making me think AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/LividCucumbers on 2024-01-09 12:28:21+00:00.

I'll start this by saying I never wanted kids. My girlfriend was aware of this but stopped taking birth control because it was time for me to "grow up and be a man" which included having a family. I immediately ended things with her and told her I didn't want to be part of the child's life, but I would pay my fair share. She begged and pleaded. So did her parents. I shut them all down and eventually they blocked me on everything. I didn't hear from my ex until Anna, our daughter, was two years old. My ex had gotten arrested with her new boyfriend and they were both going to prison for drug-related charges. The next day, her parents dropped Anna off at my house. That was a little over 12 years ago.

Despite not wanting to be a dad, I tried to step up for Anna. I took care of her. I moved so she could go to a good school. She was involved in after-school activities. I went to every game and event except for one that would have literally cost me my job. I had the birds and bees talk. I even got my sister to help me with that so there would be a woman's perspective, and enlisted her help again when Anna got her first period.

Two months ago, my sister called me in tears. Anna was with her. My sister asked me to come to her house right away, and I did. Long story short, Anna is pregnant. The father of her baby is a fifteen year old boy named Danny. They didn't use protection. Anna's excuse was "We didn't have condoms and he was too embarrassed to buy them." Great.

I'm pro-choice. We live in a state where abortion isn't legal, but I have the financial means to get her somewhere it is legal. My sister and I had a long talk with Anna. Consensus was that all three of us would be taking a trip. Anna agreed it was for the best because she wasn't ready to be a mom. (Her words)

The next day, she changed her mind. Danny wants them to keep the baby. He wants them to be a family. I figured it was best to try and talk with Danny's parents. Danny hadn't even told them yet, so I had to drop the bombshell. They agreed abortion was for the best, or adoption if she didn't want to have an abortion. I favored abortion, but was open to adoption.

We (my sister, me and Danny's parents) sat them both down to talk about this. Danny gets withdrawn and mutters when he gets "stressed." I couldn't understand half of what he said. Apparently, this is how all conversations go with him, according to his parents. We didn't make any progress. Danny wants to keep the baby and my daughter is bought into the fantasy of them living happily ever after. Danny has no job. No plans to get one but they'll "figure things out."

I love Anna. I'm not raising her child. I feel like the only way she will understand the seriousness of this is to be on her own. I think one-two nights of being away from home will make her realize there is no way this is possible. Danny's parents and my sister have said they will not take her in, but that I'm an asshole for thinking about kicking her out.

So.. WIBTA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Glittering-Fig3103 on 2024-01-09 12:43:14+00:00.

I 17f have a 10 year old sister

My parents planned a weekend getaway trip they hired a babysitter for my 10 year old sister I was planning on hanging out with my friends last weekend.

The babysitter canceled last minute due to an emergency and my parents couldn't find another babysitter so they told me to babysit

I was angry because they could have canceled the trip but instead they made me babysit I tried to convince my parents but they made me cancel my plans and babysit.

I babysat from Friday night to Saturday evening when my parents hired another babysitter to come but I had already missed hangout plans on Saturday with my friends.

It isn't my response to take care of my sister as I didn't choose to have a sister So my parents should take the sacrifice and cancel the trip.

My parents gave me 400 dollars for babysitting but this showed that they didn't care about my thoughts or wants.

They are calling me ungrateful I've been pissed at my parents for a while now

AITA

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Fantastic_Break3235 on 2024-01-09 11:26:40+00:00.

I (27F) was asked to be in my brother’s (30M) wedding last year. He and his fiancée said I could wear a tuxedo and I agreed. A month after they got engaged (January), they’d booked a venue for November. My sister told me the bridesmaids were looking at dresses, so I asked about my tux and they didn’t respond at all. In March, she went back to America to pick out her dress, sent me photos, and started talking about the tux again. I’m NC with my mother, father, and oldest brother so I asked if I could bring a plus one. After about 30 minutes, I told her that her silence spoke volumes and obviously it was a no to the plus one, but at least answer me about the tux. She said that she didn’t respond bc she was driving to Men’s Wearhouse and she never saw the previous messages bc her notifications don’t go through on Discord. We don’t talk on any other platforms bc she says she can’t text in Europe. They both asked me to use Messenger or What’s App, but I refuse bc of the privacy issues. So Discord it is. I patiently explained to her how to turn on her notifications and check server messages. She said yes to the plus one and told me that she hadn’t started with tuxes yet because apparently she can’t access Men’s Wearhouse abroad. I told her that this is exactly why I was trying to have this conversation early on: I’m a large breasted woman who can’t just order a tux from anywhere (she says she didn’t know this so I sent her about 5 different articles explaining this) and I suffer from gender dysmorphia. Plus, it takes time for a custom tux. She made more excuses - none of the bridesmaids had bought anything and she wasn’t making final decisions until her dress was picked out. Anyway, she asked if I still wanted to wear a tux or if I wanted to be in a dress. I said yes to the tux so we picked one out together. I planned to purchase in July. Later, I started a new chat and explained to them again how notifications worked. She said that she doesn’t like how I spoke to them and that I needed to have some grace when she was planning a wedding from abroad, finishing a Ph.D., and my brother was going through cancer treatment. Eventually, she told me it was best that I not be in the wedding and to just come as a guest since it’s “just causing more issues”. I accidentally blocked her, but then unblocked her a minute later, but instead of speaking to me like an adult, she deleted her Discord account. My brother didn’t stand up for me when she went off on me AND he put me in the same group chat as our brother (the one I’m NC with), his best man. All I asked was that they keep my mother away from me during the wedding and allow me to have a support system since I’d be surrounded by the three people I’m NC with and to not treat me like the token lesbian they can just show off at their wedding. I have bent over backwards to be accommodating. When I told my brother I wasn’t coming to their wedding, he yelled at me. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/LividCucumbers on 2024-01-09 12:28:21+00:00.

I'll start this by saying I never wanted kids. My girlfriend was aware of this but stopped taking birth control because it was time for me to "grow up and be a man" which included having a family. I immediately ended things with her and told her I didn't want to be part of the child's life, but I would pay my fair share. She begged and pleaded. So did her parents. I shut them all down and eventually they blocked me on everything. I didn't hear from my ex until Anna, our daughter, was two years old. My ex had gotten arrested with her new boyfriend and they were both going to prison for drug-related charges. The next day, her parents dropped Anna off at my house. That was a little over 12 years ago.

Despite not wanting to be a dad, I tried to step up for Anna. I took care of her. I moved so she could go to a good school. She was involved in after-school activities. I went to every game and event except for one that would have literally cost me my job. I had the birds and bees talk. I even got my sister to help me with that so there would be a woman's perspective, and enlisted her help again when Anna got her first period.

Two months ago, my sister called me in tears. Anna was with her. My sister asked me to come to her house right away, and I did. Long story short, Anna is pregnant. The father of her baby is a fifteen year old boy named Danny. They didn't use protection. Anna's excuse was "We didn't have condoms and he was too embarrassed to buy them." Great.

I'm pro-choice. We live in a state where abortion isn't legal, but I have the financial means to get her somewhere it is legal. My sister and I had a long talk with Anna. Consensus was that all three of us would be taking a trip. Anna agreed it was for the best because she wasn't ready to be a mom. (Her words)

The next day, she changed her mind. Danny wants them to keep the baby. He wants them to be a family. I figured it was best to try and talk with Danny's parents. Danny hadn't even told them yet, so I had to drop the bombshell. They agreed abortion was for the best, or adoption if she didn't want to have an abortion. I favored abortion, but was open to adoption.

We (my sister, me and Danny's parents) sat them both down to talk about this. Danny gets withdrawn and mutters when he gets "stressed." I couldn't understand half of what he said. Apparently, this is how all conversations go with him, according to his parents. We didn't make any progress. Danny wants to keep the baby and my daughter is bought into the fantasy of them living happily ever after. Danny has no job. No plans to get one but they'll "figure things out."

I love Anna. I'm not raising her child. I feel like the only way she will understand the seriousness of this is to be on her own. I think one-two nights of being away from home will make her realize there is no way this is possible. Danny's parents and my sister have said they will not take her in, but that I'm an asshole for thinking about kicking her out.

So.. WIBTA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Equal-Ad-1278 on 2024-01-09 11:25:35+00:00.

I have two daughters 9f and 11f

Both of them have iphones with mild parental controls the phones need to be turned in by bedtime.

Recently I found out my 9y had sneaked in hee phone overnight and watching videos till 2am I had a conversation about how she broke my trust and how she needs sleep for school

So as punishment we took both our daughters electronics away for a week as we do collective punishment in our house meaning if one sibling misbehaves Both get punished.

So I took both the phone away now they are mad at me and my husband is saying we should let our daughter have the phone in the room overnight and she can learn natural consequences about what happens if she stays up too late.

I might do that the when she reaches her teenage years but right now having her phone in overnight is a big no.

My husband is pissed with me and my daughters are mad. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Fantastic_Break3235 on 2024-01-09 11:26:40+00:00.

I (27F) was asked to be in my brother’s (30M) wedding last year. He and his fiancée said I could wear a tuxedo and I agreed. A month after they got engaged (January), they’d booked a venue for November. My sister told me the bridesmaids were looking at dresses, so I asked about my tux and they didn’t respond at all. In March, she went back to America to pick out her dress, sent me photos, and started talking about the tux again. I’m NC with my mother, father, and oldest brother so I asked if I could bring a plus one. After about 30 minutes, I told her that her silence spoke volumes and obviously it was a no to the plus one, but at least answer me about the tux. She said that she didn’t respond bc she was driving to Men’s Wearhouse and she never saw the previous messages bc her notifications don’t go through on Discord. We don’t talk on any other platforms bc she says she can’t text in Europe. They both asked me to use Messenger or What’s App, but I refuse bc of the privacy issues. So Discord it is. I patiently explained to her how to turn on her notifications and check server messages. She said yes to the plus one and told me that she hadn’t started with tuxes yet because apparently she can’t access Men’s Wearhouse abroad. I told her that this is exactly why I was trying to have this conversation early on: I’m a large breasted woman who can’t just order a tux from anywhere (she says she didn’t know this so I sent her about 5 different articles explaining this) and I suffer from gender dysmorphia. Plus, it takes time for a custom tux. She made more excuses - none of the bridesmaids had bought anything and she wasn’t making final decisions until her dress was picked out. Anyway, she asked if I still wanted to wear a tux or if I wanted to be in a dress. I said yes to the tux so we picked one out together. I planned to purchase in July. Later, I started a new chat and explained to them again how notifications worked. She said that she doesn’t like how I spoke to them and that I needed to have some grace when she was planning a wedding from abroad, finishing a Ph.D., and my brother was going through cancer treatment. Eventually, she told me it was best that I not be in the wedding and to just come as a guest since it’s “just causing more issues”. I accidentally blocked her, but then unblocked her a minute later, but instead of speaking to me like an adult, she deleted her Discord account. My brother didn’t stand up for me when she went off on me AND he put me in the same group chat as our brother (the one I’m NC with), his best man. All I asked was that they keep my mother away from me during the wedding and allow me to have a support system since I’d be surrounded by the three people I’m NC with and to not treat me like the token lesbian they can just show off at their wedding. I have bent over backwards to be accommodating. When I told my brother I wasn’t coming to their wedding, he yelled at me. AITA?