Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Equal-Ad-1278 on 2024-01-09 11:25:35+00:00.

I have two daughters 9f and 11f

Both of them have iphones with mild parental controls the phones need to be turned in by bedtime.

Recently I found out my 9y had sneaked in hee phone overnight and watching videos till 2am I had a conversation about how she broke my trust and how she needs sleep for school

So as punishment we took both our daughters electronics away for a week as we do collective punishment in our house meaning if one sibling misbehaves Both get punished.

So I took both the phone away now they are mad at me and my husband is saying we should let our daughter have the phone in the room overnight and she can learn natural consequences about what happens if she stays up too late.

I might do that the when she reaches her teenage years but right now having her phone in overnight is a big no.

My husband is pissed with me and my daughters are mad. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/OptimalFudge1446 on 2024-01-09 08:38:25+00:00.

My wife and I are in our 30s, we’ve been married on the second half of a decade, We don’t have any children of our own but my wife’s kid brother lives with us

I do advocacy work with local agency and through the work we do, I was matched to help a pre teen girl, she was removed from her parents care due to severe abuse and was later placed into another home where the abuse continued She was still in an abusive home when we met and she confided in me and that’s how the abuse was discovered and stopped

The kid is still in foster care however her case went from a re unification ( going home to bio family ) to a termination of parental rights.

From getting to talk and knowing more about the kid, my wife and I really began to care for the kid in a parental way, we really love and care for her as if she’s our own

Although we’re child free by choice we really care for the kid and agreed to give taking her in a try. Although caring for a kid with trauma is hard we both are willing to give it a try

However the kid has 2 other sibling, a twin and a much younger sister, the goal was the keep the 3 kids together and while we really feel for those kids, we’re not able to care for 3 extremely traumatized children, ( the kid has trouble sleeping, nightmares, flashbacks and panic attacks, bed wetting among other issues including unhealthy coping mechanisms, 1 is a handful and dealing with that x3 isn’t ideal.

as a result it’s looking like the siblings are going to get separated, which nobody wants to happen.

while speaking with our family trying to figure out what to do. They said we should just take in all 3 children or let them all go and try to find a family who can take them all in. When we said we wanted to keep the kid and not their siblings we got called heartless and we were told that we don’t have their best interest in heart

While in a perfect world we could keep the 3 together. All 3 is beyond what we can handle and we can give the one child the support and help they need and we want to fight to keep her.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/CollectionIcy4335 on 2024-01-08 23:57:53+00:00.

I 34F co parent my son Ben 13M with my ex Wes 33M. Ben is very interested in space and reads up about astronomy and wants to be a astronaut. I encouraged his passion for space, buying him books and watching documentaries with him. However, he has talked about wanting to be an astronaut for about 2 months now. In the past, Ben has talked about wanting to be a pilot or a doctor but he changes his mind a few weeks in and switches career, but his still constantly talks about wanting to be a pilot.

I gently encouraged him to consider other careers in astronomy but he has stuck to firmly wanting to be an astronaut. This was solidified when Wes and his wife bought him a ticket to a space camp type event where he gets to ‘live’ like an astronaut and talk to people in the industry. Ben is colourblind so he can’t be an astronaut and I was upset that my ex would book Ben a week long space event without consulting me and further influence him in wanting to be an astronaut. I think Ben going to this camp without knowing he can’t be an astronaut is cruel but I’m not sure how or if I should tell him.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/CorporealLifeForm on 2024-01-08 21:54:33+00:00.

I (32f) came out as a trans woman a little over a year ago. This year my parents wanted to have me over on Christmas morning but I would have to leave before dinner so I wouldn't be around some family. I told them I wouldn't go at all or accept any presents if I couldn't go to everything on Christmas.

My dad told me that I could have chosen not to transition or wear women's clothing and I have to take responsibility for the fact not everyone is ready to see me being trans yet. My parents feel I'm putting them in an unfair situation having to choose between me and other peoples reactions but I feel other peoples reactions are their responsibility. My dad said his foster son is also not welcome on Christmas, due to him insisting on bringing an assault rifle which would also make people uncomfortable.

I still feel this goes deeper than a desire to carry a gun and that it's unfair since nothing I'm wearing would be unusual on any other women in the family, not to mention hormones change your body and I would not look normal in men's clothing now. I'm still refusing to accept presents even after Christmas but could see how that seems petty, especially since they bought them before knowing I wouldn't accept them.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/FailedState0 on 2024-01-08 19:42:35+00:00.

I (16M) am best friends with Julie (16F) for almost a year now, we are extreamly close and we talk to eachother about everything almost every day, I enjoy talking to her alot and she seems to enjoy spending time with me aswell.

We dont go to the same school so she knows none of my friends from school and i wanted to introduce her to some of them. I got my friends Conner and Alessandro (both 15M) to meet her one night and we all hungout together. I was pretty hesitant to introduce them to Julie because they are pretty aggressive and say many rude things towards others and I didnt want to possibly lose my friendship with Julie because of them. I told Julie about them and she didnt mind saying "Whats the worst they could do?" I kinda agreed and I planned the meet up.

We were all having a good time at first, playing games, making jokes and such. everything was going good until Julie kept making the same joke over and over (She does that alot) and Conner and Alessando clearly didnt like that so and got more and more angry.

Conner ends up snapping and yells at Julie "SHUT TF UP ALREADY" Alessandro followed this by saying something absolutely disgusting but I dont think im allowed to say it on reddit. Julie clearly got uneasy and left the room to go to the bathroom. thats when I snapped at them both and yelled at them back, Calling them both fucking monsters for saying that to her and they should think about what they say before they actually say it. as I was yelling at them Julie went home and i followed her. I apologized a millon times for their behavior. she thankfuly accepted my apology and said she never wants to see them again. I agreed with her and we both walked home.

The next day I went to school as it was first day back from winter break. I was still upset about what happened the night before and I was expecting an apology from both Connor and Alessandro when I got to school. Instaid almost all my friends against me calling me a "simp" and such Just for protecting Julie. I obviously protested and told them all what Connor and Alessandro said but they didnt care, only one of my friends was backing me up and saying i did a good thing to tell them off because they shouldnt have said those things to her in the first place.

But almost all of my friends seem to disagree with me for yelling at them. AITA?

Edit: I mainly yelled at them for what alessandro said and how he said it, I’ll try and write it as appropriately as I can. he said to her; “JESUS CHRIST I HOPE YOU GET (tickled in a bad way)”

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Top-Patience-4917 on 2024-01-09 07:27:12+00:00.

I have two daughters 8f and 15f

The 15f hates her 8y she's she was born she called her an annoying Brat and yells at her whenever she is annoying we have been working on her being less annoying.

My daughter has wanted to go on a trip to Australia we decided to go during spring break which is in late February for us so we decided to take one for a week.

My daughter was really excited but she doesn't want her younger sister coming she says that "she doesn't want her annoying little demon sister to come and ruin the trip" my wife tried to convince her but she said "she doesn't want that annoying Brat anywhere near her" and "she wished that her younger sister never existed" which we understand as she wants some alone time away from her sister and we haven't been able to spend too much one on one time together so we agreed my youngest daughter cried and begged to take us and promised to not ruin the trip but I told her the older daughter wants a break and that she wouldn't be coming and that is final.

My daughter hasn't been talking to me for a while now. I'm planning to leave my youngest with her mother and she said I shouldn't take my youngest on a trip without my oldest especially not a big one she says I could spend one on one time with her but a 7 day trip was too much which I disagree.

Now both my youngest and mother are mad at me because I wouldn't include the 8 year old

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/fucker_999 on 2024-01-09 06:40:03+00:00.

Hi everyone! This is my first time posting here; I've read a lot about this place and decided this would be a good place to seek a little input. Apologies in advance for a possibly bad post.

I 18F visited my grandmother 80F with my dad 50M, mother 45F, and brother 8M. My aunt 65F and uncle 60M were also present. My grandma is conservative, and so is my mother. My aunt and uncle are very democratic. My dad and I have beliefs that reside somewhere in the middle. Each family member has backing for their views based on life experience and such.

My aunt needs to be the center of attention no matter what. Every minute she's there, she has to be talking to someone who is listening to her. A lot of her stories focus on how she's so good at everything, the smartest person, the one who is always right, you get the idea. My parents had to bite their tongue whenever they disagreed with her to keep peace.

In the middle of the traditional New Years' Eve dinner, she was talking again and mentioned a friend of hers who declined eating her handmade cookies because she 'was sensitive to gluten.' At this, she then went on a rant about people who claim to have gluten sensitivities, calling them 'glutards' (gluten + retard).

I was curious about the motivation behind views on it partly due my own bodily reaction to gluten that used to give my stomach hell every day. I was a tiny bit hurt that my aunt would discount like this, but also open to learning more about anything I possibly misunderstood since my aunt works in the medical industry.

I asked my aunt about her reasoning, which led my her and my uncle to go on a rant about how 'sensitivity' isn't the correct medical term and basically that you either have Celiac disease, or you're completely fine. I then noted that it seemed to be an issue of defining the word 'sensitivity,' so I asked them what their definition would be. My uncle then aggressively asked me "well what's YOUR definition since you OBVIOUSLY have one in mind?"

Although I'm a stupid dumbass with social stuff, that still might not excuse my blunder. I remembered the gender debate was also somewhat about defining things. Before I knew it I had blurted out that I had some parallel situations to the one being discussed, but that if I said them out loud it would be too much. My uncle was telling me to share it, so I said my previous thought out loud.

To my horror (I should have seen this coming) this escalated into a full-scale democrat vs republican debate. My dad calmed me down in the other room and told me that if I stayed quiet, it would blow over (it did but only after midnight). I was sort of mad at my uncle for getting mad at me so I smirked at him when he was arguing angrily. My brother also saw the parallel between gender and defining things before I told him that part of the story, but I still feel a bit guilty.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Traditional-Bank543 on 2024-01-09 04:00:46+00:00.

I (ftm 16) recently came out to my close family as trans. To be clear, this is not something I have done yet, and is something I'm planning on talking to my parents and granny about this. But, my grandfather is in end of life care and some of my family, who I don't see very often, is coming up to say goodbye to him. I've been considering coming out to them then, as I'm not sure when I will see them after. I really don't want to seem like I'm stealing the spotlight, but I feel that it would be the best time. I've also been considering just having my dad post about it on Facebook, where most of my family visit. Advice would be very much appreciated!

TLDR: Is it a good idea to come out to extended family while they say goodbye to my grandfather

EDIT: to be clear, for me coming gout would just be updating my family on my name and pronouns. Also I'm not trying to be the main character, I just have a very bad grasp of social rules (or it may be I'm trying to be the main character idk I'm not really a fan of attention)

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/SUHSUHSourPatchKid on 2024-01-09 03:30:05+00:00.

I(16F) had a brother(19M), Steve, who has a girlfriend(19F), Clara. Him having a GF isn't the issue to me. I like Clara. He's been with her for three years. My brother chose to teach Clara over me even though she has parents to teach her and I don't.

He went out of his way to teach Clara when she has a mother to teach her how to drive. I have no one to teach me(mom can't drive, dad is gone). Steve had my dad teach him before he left. He offered to teach me if I pay for his steering wheel that she broke. I am jealous because I don't understand why I have to pay for her mistake.

He said that before he moved away, he wanted to make sure Clara knew how to drive to ensure she was on her feet before he left. I don't know why he doesn't think about this sort of thing when it comes to me. I would've been fine if he didn't teach me, but it's the fact that he taught her.

He also spends way more time with her. I never see him, and he only talks to me if he wants money. He see Clara everyday.

When I was 15 and unemployed, my brother offered for Clara to pay for all of us to go to Starbucks. She didn't want to pay for it, but my brother pressured her. I didn't know this until later. I sat in the front seat because I wanted to be closer to the driver(my brother), because I am literally never around him.

Later on, I learned that she thought I wasn't appreciative, because apparently, she wanted to be in the passenger seat. Now she has a grudge against me, and that sucks, because I actually like her as a person.

I also found stray cats. I wasn't sure if I should take them in. My brother was adamant on bringing them in. So, I did, and I got attached. I learn that Clara has always wanted to have cats. When he heard that we had cats, the first thing Steve did was tell Clara.

Within the third day, I was attached to the cats. Steve saw me get into a petty argument with my mom, over French fries. He decided that me and my mom weren't fit to watch over cats, and he was quick to give them to Clara, who was ecstatic over it. This shattered me, as I felt the only reason he made me get the cats, was to give them away to Clara. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Mayleiscool on 2024-01-09 02:39:25+00:00.

I and my friends was hanging out at this spot we normally hung out and my brother comes past and decides to stay while me on the other hand is telling him to go away yet he isn't and he kept calling me names and his friends started making fun of me and my friends saying: "Your such a loser for hanging out here." "You shouldn't be here your such nerds!" I got angry and I decided to hold it in and told my friends we should just leave as they kept annoying us and obviously the teachers as well as the principal knows that I and my friends hangout at that exact spot.

So while me and my friends weren't there, my brother and his friends decided to trash the place to make it look like it was us yet there was camera there and obviously the teachers can't look at the footage only the principal can so while we were gone the teachers walked past the trashed spot and told us to come to their office on the loud speaker, they told us off calling our parents while my brother was laughing as I could see him out the window yet a fair distance making sure the teachers didn't notice.

I decided to go to the principal's office to confront my brother and his friends and the principal did believe me watching the surveillance camera seeing what actually happened the principal called them up to the office and told them that he would call their parents as well as giving them a detention as well as making them clean up the area.

So am I the bad apple?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/HaterOfSeatbelts on 2024-01-09 02:25:33+00:00.

I (26m) am a single father of a 9 year old girl (adopted). I wanted her to get to know my new girlfriend, so I took both of them fishing. On the way home, we got a flat, and a bear chose that moment to wander in. We were trapped in the car for 5 hours, and my girl was terrified and crying the whole time. When we got back, I collapsed onto my recliner, and told my daughter to "Grab me a bottle of water." she said "Yes sir." quietly (i didn't teach her that, she has to call the adults sir and ma'am at the school she goes to.)

I began to black out and fall asleep as I finished the water, last I remember is her getting onto the recliner with me and using my body as a bed.

When I woke up, my girlfriend was gone, and had left a note saying.

"You were nice until I saw how you treat your girl. You make her wait on you, call you sir, and ignore her while she's crying herself to sleep (apparently that's how she fell asleep when i was out cold). I hope you become a better dad for her sake."

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/girlfrienddumb on 2024-01-09 00:23:38+00:00.

I (28M) recently went on a trip with my girlfriend (27F) to NYC. I have only been once but never did any touristy stuff and my girlfriend has never been.

My girlfriend is very vain and wouldn't be caught dead without makeup.

We did not have much luggage space as our airline charges for everything so we went light. She took up all her space packing multiple shoes that were all high heels and had no space for sneakers and then wore heels to the airport. All 4 to 5 inches high.

I told her that was incredibly dumb and that she wouldn't be able to walk everywhere in those and made a bet that she'd have to buy sneakers.

She got upset at me and told me she cam wear what she likes and asked me if I am insecure because she is taller than me in heels which I'm not.

We did a lot of walking and I had to walk besides her in her heels at the met art gallery, the bronx zoo, central park, brooklyn Bridge etc and it was ridiculous. She didn't buy sneakers but I feel like there's no way it was comfortable and had I not mentioned it she would have bought them and only didn't to spite me.

We finished the trip and claims that I was the one who was too tired just because I got bored of the met and she did a little more than me and i didn't want to go everywhere she wanted to in Central park and called me an ah for not believing her.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Gold-Leg4903 on 2024-01-09 09:03:10+00:00.

I 30 f meet my husband Stephen 32 at a friend, who was cousin party. We instantly connected and started dating not long after. We have been happily married for 5 years now and have a 4 month old son. I meet my MIL at his uncle funeral, he asked me to attended in support of him. Before we left, his cousin warned me about MIL, he said she wasn't nicest person, and she had impossibly high standards to meet and can be judgemental, so don't take it personally, as she's like that with everyone. I did ask my husband and he agreed that MIL can be quite judgemental, but not to worry, that he will be there for me. I felt like they gave me the sugar coated version of her because she was terrible. She made a scene about bringing a stranger to a family furneral, but my husband cut her off and said his aunt, who was his uncle widow said he could. She spent the rest off the furneral giving me nasty looks and making passive aggressive comments. She made a scene at our wedding, but that's a different story on it's own.

But after minimal contact with MIL my husband eventually got around to telling her that I was pregnant. I expected her to be angry and have a go at him. But she surprised us both and was the complete opposite. She was excited about being a grandmother. She was congratulating us. Her attitude did a complete turn and I grudgingly allowed her to visit. When it was time to give birth to my son, she wanted to see my son being born, but I refused. That's when her ugly side rared it's head again and she caused a scene and was thrown out. I refused to let her visit us at home, my husband agreed. But she rang crying and apologizing. She said she was just overwhelmed about being a grandmother and her emotions got the better of her.

Against my better judgement, I relented and said okay. When she first held him she looked at me and said he was beautiful! I went into the kitchen to get us a drink and then I could hear my husband telling her to get out! I went back in, she started yelling he needed to get baby tested because he doesn't look like anyone in their family. He kicked her out. She took to SM and told everyone that I cheated on my husband and that my husband needs to get a DNA test to prove he was the dad. She got alot off attention for that. So I made my own post and said I'll get a test when she gets test for her son! That just made everything worse! She rang my husband up telling him to take it down. He just hung up on her. Everyone divided and questioning my husband paternity since she had such a strong reaction to it. Now even my husband is starting to wonder and making me feel I went to far and I'm thinking AITA for saying that?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/girlfrienddumb on 2024-01-09 00:23:38+00:00.

I (28M) recently went on a trip with my girlfriend (27F) to NYC. I have only been once but never did any touristy stuff and my girlfriend has never been.

My girlfriend is very vain and wouldn't be caught dead without makeup.

We did not have much luggage space as our airline charges for everything so we went light. She took up all her space packing multiple shoes that were all high heels and had no space for sneakers and then wore heels to the airport. All 4 to 5 inches high.

I told her that was incredibly dumb and that she wouldn't be able to walk everywhere in those and made a bet that she'd have to buy sneakers.

She got upset at me and told me she cam wear what she likes and asked me if I am insecure because she is taller than me in heels which I'm not.

We did a lot of walking and I had to walk besides her in her heels at the met art gallery, the bronx zoo, central park, brooklyn Bridge etc and it was ridiculous. She didn't buy sneakers but I feel like there's no way it was comfortable and had I not mentioned it she would have bought them and only didn't to spite me.

We finished the trip and claims that I was the one who was too tired just because I got bored of the met and she did a little more than me and i didn't want to go everywhere she wanted to in Central park and called me an ah for not believing her.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Warm_Gap_8485 on 2024-01-08 23:54:42+00:00.

I’m 14 male, trans (doesn’t really apply to this story but it is information to know for this) ( this is also my first post by the way) this story happened a while ago (December 14th) but it’s been bugging me for awhile and want to know what other people think. For a while my parents and sister had been bugging me about getting a haircut because they were talking about how ugly and messy it looked and how I would get bullied and would look like a girl, except I really liked how it looked at the time. So on the day we were going to get a Christmas tree my parents had booked for me to get a haircut without me knowing, so the only real option was just to go along with it. After the haircut I felt AWFUL about my hair I thought it was so bad, when we got home we were going to start decorating the tree soon, and this part is the part I feel really bad about and makes me think I may be the asshole, when I got home everyone commented on how much better my hair looked but I didn’t like it so I complained about my haircut a lot whenever they said anything about it. Eventually my dad got really upset and called me ungrateful and stormed off to his room to calm down, then my mom sat with me on the couch and started to apologize and say that she shouldn’t have booked the haircut especially if she had known how bad I felt about it, but my sister was not having it (she is slightly transphobic but I don’t think this was about that) she started yelling at me about how I was ungrateful and ruined Christmas decorating (which is a pretty big event in my family) and I should should just be happy with it and grateful that I even get to look slightly like a boy. At this point I started crying and went up to my room, not wanting to stay around my sister when she’s like that and soon my mom came into my room and apologized again and said how she just shouldn’t have brought up my haircut and she would love for me to come back down and finish decorating when I’m ready. I said that she was totally fine and it was more of me and my sisters fault for causing all of this. I eventually went back down to finish decorating, my dad had already came down and was decorating the tree with my mom who was telling him how they really shouldn’t have booked the haircut and they did it more for themselves than for me. My sister at this point had gone into the living room to watch the office and refused to decorate saying I had ruined her mojo. I started decorating but it was really awkward as I could feel that my dad was still angry with me, at one point I couldn’t take it anymore and went into the bathroom to take a break. From in there I could hear my dad still talking to my mom about how angry he was with me. When I got out he told me from now on he wasn’t going to book appointments for me anymore and it was up to me to decide when I want them prevent this from happening again. I feel like I made a really big deal about nothing and that I might be the asshole here.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Lover_Of_Fishermen on 2024-01-08 22:41:54+00:00.

I (19f) was with my boyfriend (21) and getting ready to go home. I hugged him goodbye, and he put his hand on my butt. This brought back some memories of my time being trafficked, and I got uncomfortable. He apologized profusely, I said no biggie, and that was that.

A few days later, my best friend invited me and him over to watch a movie, and before he arrived, I was helping her move her old couch outside. He arrived as we finished, and asked if we needed help. My best friend said "Nah, this sturdy bitch was enough help and then some." and smacked my butt, and I didn't react, because she does stuff like that a lot.

Later, on the drive home, he asked why it was okay with her and not him, and I was honest and said I didn't know. He said he'd really appreciate a more detailed answer, I said I'd try, and he said "alright" clearly annoyed. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/4nr- on 2024-01-08 20:32:26+00:00.

I work at a university and spent some time in a library to read a book. Our libraries have a QR desk reservation system but I did not use it since there were many free seats and there was no indication that the seat was taken. About 40 minutes after I started reading, a guy and his gf come up to me to ask if they can have their seat. The gf had left her stuff on the desk next to the one where I was sitting and the guy had apparently reserved ‘my’ seat. Without thinking much, I just said that I am sorry but that there are many seats available and that I only have about 10 minutes left. I got a dismissive look and so I apolgized again and offered to move. They just acted hurt and the guy went to sit on the other side of his gf, where the seat was free as well. I left 10 mins later. Writing this I feel I was not an asshole but the situation felt uncomfortable nevertheless. What do you think?

Edit: there is a general consensus that IATA and my comments made it worse. Thanks for the feedback, will be doing some soul-searching.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/zinfandelBB on 2024-01-08 23:18:34+00:00.

AITA?

So my roommate has been renting a room in my house for over a year now. She's one of my closest friends. My roommate’s sister is a vegan, no problems with that whatsoever and we’ve always catered for her when she’s around. She made a surprise visit today whilst I was preparing a pizza for myself. My roommate said I wasn’t allowed to eat it because of her sisters belief and had to wait until she has left before I could. “Eat a little snack whilst she’s here”. I cracked it and said eh I’ll be back later. I’m now sitting at the local bar enjoying a drink and a good meal. My roommate’s annoyed at me saying I’m an asshole for leaving whilst they’re visiting (they only live 30 mins away), I told her no they’re the asshole for not letting me eat what I want to eat in my own home. So whose the AH?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/pinkplastichat on 2024-01-08 20:22:57+00:00.

I've been dating my boyfriend for 3 years now and it's had a lot of ups and downs. My boyfriend is into some stuff that I personally can't find any interest in, but I get that it's his thing and I want him to have his things.

My boyfriend is big into video games and he has a lot of friends who play video games too. There are three friends in particular that I don't like: Alex,his wife Trish and TJ. I've never met or talked to either of them, but I'm on my boyfriend's discord and he told his friends he couldn't game with them because he was out with me and Alex said he was whipped. I also feel as though Trish shares the same views as Alex because I overheard her say on discord how she never sees my boyfriend anymore. I don't like TJ because he is obnoxious.

I feel as though they don't like me because my boyfriend doesn't game as much as he used to. I told him how I didn't like how he spent more time gaming than doing dates.

Every few years my, my boyfriend will fly down to Texas to stay with them for a week (and TJ also lives in the state but I don't know how far away). My boyfriend told me this year he would be flying to Texas in July of this year. He asked me if I wanted to come too and I told him I didn't want to go. He just said okay and it kind of annoyed me he didn't ask me why I didn't want to go so I told him why. I told him I didn't them and I feel as though they'd talk shit about me if I was there. He told me they wouldn't do that and I told him it's just how I feel. He asked me if I was asking him not to go. I didn't say that but I would have appreciated if he decided not to go. He told me was going to go anyways because he wants to see his friends.

I'm just really angry with him because I feel as though he should be limiting his friendships with people who hold a negative opinion of your partner. I also feel like all they'd do is play video games and I'd just be there in the corner doing my thing.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/NeatPlugIn on 2024-01-08 20:04:32+00:00.

I (44m) have a 16-yr-old niece who, despite wanting to study physics in college, she has a fixation with things like the Occult and fortune-telling and weird voodoo stuff. Back when she was in grade 10, she created a fortune-telling club in her school. Right now, there are only two other people besides her who partake in this club, and she's pretty bummed out about it. She's a lonely girl in general, so this year, her resolution is to simply make more friends and make some lasting, wholesome memories in high school.

On New Year's Eve last year, the family got together for celebrations. At one point during the night, my niece pulled out her phone and showed us all pictures of what goes on in her fortune-telling club. She was wearing this cringey black hood/cape thing, and she and the other members were sitting in a triangle. And, you know, I couldn't help but make fun of her entire get-up. It was just harmless, clean jokes that I made about her, but it was enough for her to blush severely and run up the stairs. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ComfortableWin7912 on 2024-01-08 18:00:48+00:00.

32f. I've been with my husband Jake for 4 years now. Prior to dating Jake I was self employed. I bought houses that were in ruin, fixed them and sold them for below market value. I sold my first home at 19. The only reason I was able to become as successful as I was was because I had the help of my dad, my brother and my uncle. If it weren't for them, I probably wouldn't have brought in much of a profit because I would have had to hire out for work needed on the homes. We always split the profit evenly. When I met my now husband, I had over $600k saved.

Now, my husband was honestly fantastic. We never stopped laughing and he just made me so damn happy all the time. I tried getting him involved with my business after about a year. He tried but gave up easily because he "didn't have the skills for this". Ever since then he has been in and out of different careers. In late 2021 I got pregnant and I put my house flipping on hold. The last job I did was in September 2021. Our daughter is now 2.

When she was 7 months I told my husband I wanted to start house flipping again. But at the end of it, he started putting stuff in my head about how difficult it would be with a baby and how he doesn't think it's a good idea and how I should just wait a bit and it made me feel really back peddled but at the end of the day, I said "well maybe you're right, I will wait I guess" despite really wanting to start again. But a month ago I couldn't shake it anymore. I told him "I'm starting this up again and I really don't care what people have to say about it. I want to do it, I'm doing it." He said "Okay, I support you no matter what". But then a week or so ago he started talking to me about his business idea and he's like "yeah so I figured you could manage the whole thing". I told him I didn't know if I could manage running two operations with a 2yo and he goes "well I figured you could just put off your thing for a couple years while we see if this works". I told him I didn't want to put off my thing and he got irritated and said "this can be OUR thing as a family. House flipping is a washed out market and there's too much risk involved and we would be pushing out too much money and I'm excluded so I think we should just do this instead." I told him that HE wouldn't be pushing out any money and I don't hire out so no, he's wrong. And he goes "you split all profit with your dad, uncle and brother. I want to start something where we aren't paying other people for their part and we can pocket all profit." So, I told him he needed to stop trying to control my life because this is the 2nd year he's tried convincing me not to do something that made me successful to begin with, that I LOVE doing. He says I'm an AH for seeing it as him being controlling and not seeing it as him trying to better our future as a family.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/underpressure65 on 2024-01-08 16:18:18+00:00.

I will start by saying as parents we should be able to gage our children's abilities and what programs are the best fit for them. We play on a competitive recreational indoor soccer league (during our non parks and rec off season). The Parks and Rec in our area offer two different forms of indoor soccer "social" being the least competitive and more about having a good time, being laid back & learning at a slower pace and "competitive"... self explanatory. Our kids are 9-10 yrs old and really want to win! These girls fight hard and truly give it their all.

One player on the team literally just runs around flailing her arms in the air. She does not know the rules of the game. She will drop to the ground on field and start throwing a fit if the other team scores a goal. Screaming "we're going to lose!". It's such a distraction to all of the players on the team. And even the opposing team gets so confused. They have her in the defender box most of the time and when it's time to defend and match up she shakes her hands in the other kids face or just runs the opposite direction. It's just hard to watch as a parent. Also a factor in this is we pay a few hundred in fees every season and some of us help sponsor as well. So we are invested in being competitive. This isn't professional soccer lol but we still take it pretty serious.

I spoke with her mother recently who just laughed and giggled about the girls behavior. Calling it "cute" and how she's just having a good time out there. I did not pry into her medical history because that's none of my business. But the mom voluntarily shared that her daughter had ADHD and was thinking about medications. Personally I think there is something else going on with the kid, but again that part is none of my biz! I then suggested to the mom maybe the social league would be a better fit for her daughter, that what she was doing on the field and during practice was so distracting and counterproductive. That it was detrimental to the team and our chances of even making the playoffs. She snapped at me hardcore and said this is "just little kids sports" and it shouldn't matter at all to "keep my fucking thoughts to myself". Also that she won't go to the social league and how dare I even approach her with my opinion. Am I the asshole here??

**Other parents and even the coaches have shown frustration. But I'm the only one who actually spoke up.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Accomplished-Cod-504 on 2024-01-08 14:52:28+00:00.

Over the holidays we entertained a few times, nothing real fancy, just casual family gatherings. My husband's sister only drinks water but refused to drink the water from our reverse osmosis tap that we keep refrigerated-chilled in a glass container. She said something like "it is inconsiderate to not also offer bottled water like everyone else does because most people don't like city tap water." Her brother explained to her that our filtered "tap water" is probably safer and better tasting than most bottled waters. That led to a ten-minute debate amongst the families about which is preferred, and not everyone agreed with us. FWIW, we provided a choice of either disposable cups or drinking glass because we are aware some people are particular about that. So, are we the A-holes for not providing bottled water, should we provide bought water next time?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Downtown-Chest-2756 on 2024-01-08 17:21:01+00:00.

EDIT: for some reason some of the text got deleted when I posted this so I am adding back the missing info.

This happened a few days ago now but people are still mad at me so I wanted to get some more opinions.

My (F31) husband (M31) has a friend since high school "John" (M30) who moved to a different country a few years ago, where he met his fiancee "Maria" (F 27??). John messaged my husband and their friends a few months ago to let them know that he and Maria would be visiting for the holidays and thinking about moving here, so we planned to have a gift exchange with my friends and my husband's friends (including John and Maria).

We did all this on Christmas day, but about a week before Christmas we attended a welcome home party for John, where I met Maria for the first time. I had a neutral feeling towards her. I don't dislike her, I just think we are very different people and have nothing to talk about or bond over. She did seem to think she was better than everyone though (at one point someone made a comment about her engagement ring and John said that it didn't contain diamonds/stones that were mined because Maria wanted something that was more sustainable and better for the environment??? which seemed a bit braggy).

The day of the gift exchange we all opened the secret Santa gifts first, and then we opened our gifts from our partners. When it was Maria's turn, she opened John's gift which was a few books wrapped in some newspaper and string, and a journal. I didn't really think much of it at first but then as she was looking all of the books I noticed that a lot of them had bent spines and covers, and looked to be old/used which was a bit off-putting since I know John makes good money.

When one of my friends took her turn after Maria, I joked: "I hope your gift isn't also someone else's sloppy-second hand-me-downs!" My joke kinda bombed and everyone went quiet and looked at me and Maria. Maria kinda tried to hide the books, but John spoke up and said that he only bought used books because Maria only buys used books and again brought up how it's supposedly better for the environment and more "sustainable". At this point, I kinda doubled down because I was embarrassed that everyone was looking at me like I had just murdered a puppy, but the mood quickly soured and John and Maria left shortly after that without even waiting for the rest of us to open our gifts.

Now everyone is upset with me and saying that I was being rude and unwelcoming and that Maria is really nice and didn't deserve that. My husband wants me to apologize but I'm not sure if I should since I obviously didn't and couldn't have known that Maria wanted used items and it was supposed to be a funny joke.

EDIT: Okay, I get it. I am going to apologize to John.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/leylotpot on 2024-01-08 17:18:01+00:00.

I am currently in middle school, I'm in theatre arts, basically theatre. Our coach was taking longer than expected. Then our coach came in and he told us to recreate 3 scenes from a movie and we cant speak and the rest has to guess it.

We went to our respective group and we chose 3 movies, Titanic, Cinderella and Frozen.

I was assigned to act at frozen by my group memebrs Iw as anna. We were going to recreate the scene where she froze and blah blah blah. I wanted to take a break since I was sort of burnt out and I wanted to sit down after standing up for so long in the same position.

I went to my friend and we were just on our phones. Our leader called me and I went to her and explained I already knew what to do I didnt need to practice since she asked me to practice again. Then I went over to my friend, I decided to ignore her when she was was calling my name. Then she apparently made a list of the things I wasnt doing and she showed it to our coach and told me our coach was going to talk to me after. I hate confrontation, I was a bit nervous.

Then when it was time to preform the scenes I was changed to Titanic. The iconic when jack held rose's waist. The guy that was there was older than me and I felt a bit uncomfortable. They told me to stop overreacting and that I should suck it up. I did. We did it. I went back to my seat and processed everything. Im a pretty soft-hearted person and I care what people say and see me as. I was crying to the point everyone noticed including our coach and I felt like I couldn't breathe. AITA?