Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Coln-Gaddafi on 2024-01-08 17:11:20+00:00.

I (M40) have been married to my wife (F38) for 8 years now and together for 11. I get on really well with her brother (M43) who we visited on Saturday of this weekend just gone.

While enjoying catching up, the topic of conversation got onto pets and when my wife and I were going to look at obtaining any as our kids would enjoy the presence of and benefit from bonding and looking after them.

Our property is not the best for dogs or cats, so we were discussing the option of fish (yes, we could get a dog or a cat and there are numerous other pets we could consider, I am simply depicting the conversation flow). This is where things turned amusing, as my wife is a vegetarian and has been since she was four years old, whereas I am not. This has created some "interesting" situations between us historically, but this one at my BIL's was the most entertaining by far!

My wife, quite seriously, stated to me that I will never be able to cook or eat fish in our house ever again if we kept them as pets. Me thinking there would be some ironic/hypocritical logic behind her statement asked her to confirm her reasoning, which she stated very passionately was actually that it would be cruel to do so where our fishy pets could smell the fish being cooked and see me eating them. At that moment, quite taken aback by what my wife had just depicted, my BIL and I caught each other's eye and proceeded to wet ourselves laughing.

Clearly having gone over my wife's head as to why we were in such fits of laughter, my BIL and I started to depict some of the differences between gasses and liquids, as well as the intelligence levels and emotional consciousness of fish... but kept laughing too much, both at my wife's annoyance at us as well as our laughter perpetuating each other.

Numerous references were made between us two for the rest of the afternoon, including designing solutions to catch and condense the steam produced when cooking any fish to then add to the fish tank's water in order to experiment with how our fishy pets would react. We again found this highly amusing (no doubt you would would needed to have been there to have laughed about it as much as we did), but my wife did not.

My wife was, and still is today, very annoyed by us laughing at her expense having realised that her scientific logic was not prevailing at that moment in time. With further silly statements, ideas and GIFS shared within our family WhatsApp group, I am still firmly in the doghouse.

I get that our reactions might have been a little over the top and we may have taken it a bit too far, but considering how funny my BIL and I found it, can I not enjoy myself a little at my wife's expense rather than being subjected to her being clearly disgruntled with my behaviour. I'll obviously drop it following this post, but does Reddit feel that I should apologise? AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/GreyBlackky on 2024-01-08 16:13:49+00:00.

My (M22) boyfriend's (M20) grandmother lived in the Soviet Union. He still has her wooden spoon that looks like this. As you can see, the spoon used to be beautiful, but now the paint is peeling off and a piece of it has come off. Nevertheless, my boyfriend continues to use this spoon. He doesn't do it that often, only if he's making pancakes according to his grandmother's recipe. He loves how softly the wooden spoon touches the pan. He says his grandmother always said that pancakes don't like it when dishes are rattled.

I've tried several times to talk to my boyfriend about this spoon, but he refuses to accept my arguments that it's old and broken.

I threw it away when I did a kitchen cleanup a week ago. My boyfriend didn't immediately notice it was missing and only today, when he got ready to make pancakes, he realized that his spoon was no longer at home. When I told him I was the one who threw away his spoon, he looked like I had thrown away something worth a lot. He got angry at me and kept saying, "Why did you do that? Why did you do that?".

I threw the spoon away because I don't like to hoard junk, I throw away anything that looks unpresentable/anything that is used too infrequently. This spoon looked unpresentable and was rarely used.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Objective-Milk-7863 on 2024-01-08 16:05:49+00:00.

I (29M) am an Orthopedic surgery resident. I have been friends with Kate (33F) since middle school. And with Kate's wife (Valentina - 36F) ever since they started dating 10 years ago. Valentina is a neurologist and an attending. So as you can guess she has a huge ego and a tough attitude.

I am training in the same hospital that Valentina works in, which is quite well known. I was checking up on a patient we had operated on who was now in the neurology ward for a stroke. Since the patient had a hard time understanding, I gave him handwritten instructions.

The next day, I got a call from the ward, saying I am expected to go there as soon as I can because Dr. Valentina asked for me. I go there to find a fuming Valentina who hands me that sheet of paper and asks me to read it. I read it aloud for her.

She said there are 8 people here includings interns and med students and herself and no one was able to read that except for the one who wrote it. So she asked for the paper. I gave it to her. She threw it in the trash and said 'it belongs there if no one can read it'. And told me to write it down nicely this time and hand it to her patient.

I did it and I can't really say anything because after all, she is an attending and quite well known in her job. However, when I was over in their house later, I told Valentina this attitude was wrong and she could have done it more gracefully.

She called me an inconsiderate AH for writing that instruction that way and said 'no amount of words could express how angry she was'. She said the patient had lost sight in one of her eyes due to the stroke. And the other could barely see. Valentina goes on about how she, as a goddamn neurologist couldn't read my note, let alone this poor patient.

Kate later said she would usually defend me but she knew her wife's work ethic and integrity and wouldn't question her on these things. I am womdering, was I wrong for calling her out?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/oskoran-overseerso on 2024-01-08 15:32:34+00:00.

A couple weeks ago, my mother asked me (18m) to drive her to work as she had a Christmas party. I was pissed about the request, since I had to get up earlier, I was unemployed (due to medical reasons) AND especially since 8 months prior, I had 3 seizures and wasn’t able to drive for 6 months. Every time I asked her if she could take me somewhere, she’d always say no because she was “too tired” or “couldn’t be bothered”. So I told her I find it unfair as she never took me anywhere so why should I take her to work? She got pissed at me because she has done “so much” for me and always brings it back to past complications (e.g. when I had a stroke in 2020, I was unable to wipe once finished in the toilet so she and my dad would have to help me and she always goes back to it like “remember who wiped your ass when you couldn’t?” - I didn’t have a fucking choice-).

So she left it alone for a few hours before coming to me and asking if I was taking her or not so I said “yea I guess” and she said she could always take an Uber, and I repeated that I’d take her. She then proceeded to say that I don’t seem excited/interested in taking her so she can and will take an Uber, so since that seemed to be what she wanted, I said, “okay, take the Uber then,” and she went off at me saying “she’ll remember this next time I need something from her”. I couldn’t fucking win. I said that I’d take her then if she was gonna be all dramatic about it and she accepted so I drove her to work (against my will AND had to pick up her boss too). So, AITA for refusing to take her (despite doing it anyway)?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/callingoutlie on 2024-01-08 12:33:25+00:00.

I (30M) am American but live in the UK. I don't have UK citizenship yet but I am close to obtaining it.

I'm in an expat group in London and we have been trying to plan a trip to multiple countries for a while now but this was held back because while most of us had good 1st world passports we had to wait on one person from India to get visas and for another girl from Syria (27F) to naturalise here and get a UK passport.

She finally got it and we planned the trip and are now on it. We have similar interests so I often find myself around her since we don't all always go everywhere together.

I noticed that whenever she meets people she tells them that she is from the UK and from London which isn't true. No one else does this and I wouldn't even when I do get UK citizenship. She does go a bit out of her way to pretend like she is from the UK, she dresses very British and over the years has started imitating a British accent even though there is a slight hint of Arabic and likes to never mention her Syrian past but still cooks and eats a lot of ethnic dishes.

The other day when we met some fellow travellers I jokingly called her out on it and was like haha she's actually Syrian. She seemed embarrassed but brushed it off and was quite avoidance when the others started asking her questions about Syria.

Ever since, she started being less friendly towards everyone but mostly myself when before that on this trip she was the person who was talking the most to me.

I don't get why, i didn't say anything negative about Syria or anything and I didn't know she was that embarrassed to be from there and I think Syria is a cool place with a lot of history and beautiful landscapes despite it's current situation.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/backupaccount- on 2024-01-08 12:05:51+00:00.

My boyfriend is mad at me right now because he found a screenshot of a guy hitting on me during our relationship. Keep in mind i never replied to this guy nor had any interaction with him. I just took a screenshot and removed him. He's arguing that i never told him and is now second guessing our whole relationship. During the start, before dating each other he had to tell me to remove multiple guys i had a situation-ship with and he brought that up saying "i had to tell you to remove them, why should i believe u removed this guy on your own". I don't mind doing the things he asks but he'll just open my phone and start going through it. He's my first boyfriend so im genuinely confused. Is this actually how relationships are? He wont let me even keep my highlights unless every guy is blocking from seeing them. I had no intention to hide the fact that guys hit on me, i just didn't care enough to bring it up. I feel responsible for his trust issues though. He opened my chat with a guy once where i didn't properly shut him down for flirting. Once he found out he lost it and made me block him. So now i feel guilty because i really do love this boy but im not sure if it will last with how everything is going.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Throwaway_weddinginv on 2024-01-08 11:45:24+00:00.

Me and my fiance are having a destination wedding in Bali next week. We got engaged at the start of 2022 and started wedding planning almost immediately. We lived in Melbourne and all of our closest friends and family were people from there. At the end of 2022 my fiance got an unexpected job offer in Perth that was really good money so we moved over. By the time we settled, we had already booked our dream venue and sorted guest accomodation.

We didn't know many people in Perth so the people we became friends with were mostly my fiance's colleagues and their partners. I became especially close with three ladies, Jane, Melisa, and Kate. In the meantime, I received notice from a few of my invited guests that they would not be able to make it, so the cards fell perfectly for me to invite my three friends and their partners. They were all really looking forward to it and told me they would attend.

Guest accomodation needed to be confirmed 6 weeks in advance, and final numbers for the actual ceremony/reception 4 weeks in advance.

Around 12 weeks before the wedding I found out that Kate was pregnant. She had told me previously she would come, but she hadn't formally RSVPd while Jane and Melisa had. I asked her if she was still attending and she told me that she was still suffering from morning sickness despite being halfway through her pregnancy, so she would let me know closer to our wedding date to see if she was feeling better by then.

In the meantime, my fiance had become really close to one of his colleagues, John, and wanted to invite him and his partner. We didn't have anymore space at the guest accom but they were happy to sort out their own accom so they could attend.

About a week before the RSVP date Kate was supposed to fly back home to spend the holidays with her family. However, her sickness was still really bad so she opted to stay and spend the holidays here instead. That was a much shorter flight then it would be to Bali so if she couldn't handle that, I doubted she would be able to attend our wedding. So I made the decision to offer John and his partner their guest accom so they wouldn't have to pay for their own.

I told Kate what I was going to do and wished her all the best with her health and her pregnancy, and told her that if she was feeling better closer to the day she could still attend the wedding, and that we could even cut the RSVP time to two weeks before the date, but they would have to sort their own accom. She was very upset and told me how rude it was to make the decision for her before the RSVP date, and that even if she couldn't make it her partner would have gone.

I get where she is coming from, but it was quite obvious that she wouldn't have been well enough to come, and she all but confirmed that in our last conversation. My fiance isn't that close to her partner so it makes more sense for him to have John there instead if Kate couldn't come, since he was much closer to him. So AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Unable_Guest_3272 on 2024-01-09 07:51:55+00:00.

My (18F) stepsister, Kary (24F) has just gotten out of a break up from a long term relationship.

Kary was dating her boyfriend Seth since she was an 8th grader and they broke up a couple days before Christmas. To say Kary was heart broken would be an understatement. She couldn’t eat, sleep, nor talk for days at a time.

Me and my boyfriend (19M) felt bad for her so we thought that if it made her felt better then she could hang out with us.

I immediately regretted the decision. When Kary started hanging out with us she started flirting heavily with my boyfriend and making me feel like the third wheel.

My boyfriend was really uncomfortable and didn’t enjoy our dates at all when she came.

I communicated to Kary how what she was doing was making my boyfriend feel uncomfortable and she just weirdly brushed it off as me joking around.

Now, me and my boyfriend have been planning drive down to NewYork to go ice skating. I didn’t tell Kary about it of course so when I ended up posting about it she got really mad.

I wasn’t on my phone the entire time after I posted so I opened my phone to angry dms from her calling me names and saying I’m selfish.

My boyfriend blocked her on everything so she couldn’t really text him anything.

My stepmom thinks that would I did was really rude and unfair, my dad is choosing to side with her.

I’ve talked with my mom about it and she told me that I didn’t do anything wrong.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/No_Hour_5920 on 2024-01-09 07:46:59+00:00.

Me and my friend Jess, have been friends since the 9th grade and we’re currently in our early 30s, she was the maid of honor at my wedding years ago and it was just expected that I’d do the same when the time came for her

She got engaged a few years ago, she always always had a date she wanted to get married on but it kept on being pushed back but finally everything was set for or December 2023. I was pregnant but was expected to be 8 plus months post partum so it wouldn’t be an issue,

In December 2022, My family and I got into a crash, which resulted in my little sister’s death and in me losing the pregnancy.

I still had every plan of being in the wedding and helping out as much as I could but being honest the wedding was no longer a priority in my mind.

I was “excused” from missing all of the earlier events and planning but as we got closer to the wedding, my friend’s patience slowly ran thin.

Prior to accident I had offered to pay for and basically “deal” with the venue, post accident I was still paying but I told her to have someone handle it because I wouldn’t be able to give it my all. But she insisted I do it. I stood my ground and she started calling me a bad friend

Saying that I didn’t care about her and that I was being selfish, she bought up everything she did for me and how she’s disappointed in how shitty I was being.

I tried to explain my side to her but she wasn’t having it and she ended up saying that if I wasn’t helping with the wedding that I wasn’t welcome to the wedding anymore. We left it at that,

I knew she still wanted me at the wedding but she wouldn’t ask again, originally I had planned to apologize and just go anyway but last minute I decided to just respect her words and not go

The wedding was 3 weeks ago and I did not attend, it was all over social media and I checked friends post and story through out the night. When I woke up the next day I tried looking at Jess post and all her social media was gone ( she had blocked me) and several other mutual friends blocked me as well.

Turns out Jess was upset I wasn’t there and after the wedding took to social media to basically bash me, now a lot of people have blocked me and some have been saying crap about me for not attending the wedding.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Purple_Syrup8939 on 2024-01-09 07:41:50+00:00.

I 43F met my 29F friend mid last year. We met through a mutual friend and hung out a few times. She spent a lot of time partying and ended crashing at my condo quite a lot then. I never had a problem with this as it wasn’t long term. Recently we’ve both had a crazy time. I just moved to a new house and she’s gone through a breakup and been kicked out of her rental. I offered for her to move her stuff into my basement and sleep in the spare room down there. She agreed and moved her stuff and cat into my house. She hasn’t been around much due to my kids being too noisy and her work hours (she works night shifts and sleeps during day.) I don’t mind her and her cat staying here but I asked her to pay some “rent” (300$) for utilities as my rent is a lot more expensive then it once was and I’m a single mom who makes less then her. I don’t see asking her for money to be an issue but she does, and keeps bringing up the difficulties she’s going through as an excuse.

My eldest daughter has also been cat sitting the entire time and buying litter + food. She says it’s not an issue for her because she has her own cat and enjoys letting the cats play to get free time but it bothers me that my friend doesn’t see this as a problem or something she should repay my daughter for.

I really do feel for her but I have been taken advantage of way too many times in the past and don’t want to let this be one of those times. I told her If she doesn’t want to pay, she can go because I don’t feel like it’s appropriate to be used as a free cat sitter and storage room. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/tanalb on 2024-01-09 07:25:18+00:00.

My close friend is flying to come visit me in another city. I immediately offered for her to stay at my place free of charge, and we can take day trips together to other towns and beaches (around 4hrs driving per day) since I'm the one with the car.

Before buying flights she started mentioning that I should offer to cook her a meal and/or buy the groceries or that I should buy her some souvenirs while we're there. I thought she was joking so I played along, like "haha ok... sure." She says "I need to show some hospitality" and again, I think she's joking and we finish talking. Next day she sends a long paragraph saying that she expects me to cover the cost of petrol for her stay, in an effort to "meet her halfway," in her words.

I'm starting to think she believes I owe her for visiting me, even though this was her idea she initiated. I share this and say I'm a little shocked and don't feel comfortable doing that, and she says if the tables were turned she would do it for me and it's good hospitality. I share that I think we might have a cultural misunderstanding (we grew up in very different countries) and she says that I'm victimising myself and making her seem entitled? Finally, she says she was testing to see if I actually wanted her to come, and she is no longer going to buy tickets.

Obviously buying meals and covering fuel is a nice gesture for someone to make for a friend, but straight up asking for it upfront seems rude to me. She also explicitly stated that she can afford all these things, but thinks I should pay for them anyway on principle. Is this really a cultural difference?

AITA?

TLDR: my friend initiated a trip to visit me and wants me to cover most of the cost while they're here.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Upset-Enthusiasm-315 on 2024-01-09 07:25:12+00:00.

I am currently on holiday with my boyfriend, his sister, and her husband. They more or less invited themselves on our holiday, which my boyfriend had mixed feelings about but we figured we would take the chance to try to get closer to them. We have been dating for nearly 4 years but we live oversees and they live in his country of origin. This is only my second time visiting. We planned the entire trip and they put no effort in (nor any thanks) and we’ve heard many times “we have such complex work lives so we’re happy we didn’t have to organize this” several times as if we are simpletons who have infinite time to just do the work for everyone. This type of inconsiderate behavior has characterized the trip…

We are now days into the trip and her and her husband have asked 0 questions about my life (nor his) while we have asked them dozens. This seems self centered and rude in any context. However, it’s even more striking because their main topic of conversation is their work as medical doctors (mostly complaining about how dumb their patients are !? 😱) and I work as a biology researcher in infectious disease modeling. There is a lot of overlap, so there have been countless times for them to ask me about myself and my work. My boyfriend has bridged the topic to things I know and they ignore it immediately and bring the conversation back to themselves. Finally, they frankly don’t even seem particularly knowledgeable. She has spread misinformation several times and hasn’t even heard of the top medical journals in her specialty which we discovered when my boyfriend brought up an article from it. Their lack of basic curiosity about us or learning more broadly in their wider discipline strikes me as self centered, arrogant and rude.

I have decided to just spend the rest of the holiday being polite but taking a lot of time for myself so that I can enjoy the beautiful setting and not just be subjected to more rudeness. I can’t be bothered with trying to get water out of a stone. Am I the asshole for doing this or should I keep trying relentlessly when there is 0 reciprocation? Any other ideas?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Mental-Emu8314 on 2024-01-09 07:15:25+00:00.

My bio parents had only one kid which was me. They divorced a few years after i was born.

My mom was only with my dad because of his wealth. I remember hearing my mom telling my friends that since my dad had millions, she would lead a great lifestyle and that she was only with him for his money, as a kid.

Turns out my dad, caught my mom having an affair and divorced her. She tried to get his wealth, but they had a prenup, which she threw away the original one, but my dad had a secret copy he never told her about, so she ended up getting nothing.

My dad was busy with work so he never remarried, my mom did, with her new affair partner, and had 2 kids with him.

Turns out, her new partner, was abusive and used to hit her violently and was a drunk alcoholic who would waste their little income at the pub.

I got to know this from the neighbours, as i was handing over some stuff to my mom at their new location.

Fast forward to today

I was picking up some documents from a colleague and unloading them into my vehicle, when i happen to run into a woman begging on the street.

She looked familiar (bear in mind i havent spoken to my mom in 5 years), and lo and behold it was my mother, with a swollen eye.

She seemed to recognise me and broke down in tears saying her husband got extremely mad at her last night and chased her out of the home and took the kids with him.

She asked me for help, but i had a meeting to go to , so i scoffed at her, and told her she deserved everything coming her way for cheating and left.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Money_Elk3167 on 2024-01-09 07:11:13+00:00.

I (32M) have been invited to my friend’s (33M) stag do abroad. It’ll be 4 nights in a European city. To keep costs down the guy who is organising it has booked accommodation in a “cheap and cheerful” hotel and has booked rooms that have 4 people sharing per room and no private bathroom just the one shared by the entire floor.

This sounded absolutely dire as it’ll people a tiny room full of drunk people and the last stag I attended had somebody who snored loudly and somebody who vomited all over the place one night. I’m not doing this again, I either get my own room or I don’t go.

So anyway, I booked my own room in the same hotel with private bathroom facilities. They’re now all moaning how I’ve put the average price up by not just joining one of their room shares and I’ve upstaged the stag.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/No-Perception-6925 on 2024-01-09 07:04:59+00:00.

TW account

My wife and I have a movie night once a week. I had a hard time in 2023, and more frequently than not I chose my favorite movie for movie night - Inside Llewyn Davis. Admittedly my wife is more thoughtful about her choices, she maintains a list of movies and puts a lot of thought into her choices based on her research to be sure it will be a movie we both like. Recently it was my night again and I again chose Inside Llewyn Davis - it's just a movie that is fun and relaxing for me.

My wife didn't say anything upfront after the last few times I chose it, but there's a scene in the movie where the characters sing a song called "The Auld Triangle." The lyrics go "And the auld triangle, went jingle jangle..." but my wife has started singing along to this moment with what she describes as her "alternate lyrics" which are "the auld triango, goes bingo bango" and it is really annoying to me. I have asked her to stop but she says she's tired of watching this particular movie and is only doing it to keep it fun for her.

AITA for asking her not to do this?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/miamigp2022 on 2024-01-09 07:01:35+00:00.

My gaming friends and I have been friends since middle school and I’d consider them to be my “friend group A”. I moved out of my hometown a couple years ago and have been consistently playing video games with my friends since; however, I am still the only one who has moved. We’re currently in one of those phases where we rarely play with each other but still communicate everyday via group chat.

My IRL friends are the new friends I’ve made since moving. We make an attempt to hangout 2-3 times a month and I’d like to say I’m fairly close with these people and appreciate the friendship that I have with them.

Last Saturday I had texted my gaming friends around 4pm asking if they wanted to play that night since they had already been giving me crap for missing out on the last couple sessions. They all agreed and we decided to start around 8pm. This is pretty common for us since Saturday is the night we have designated as “boys night”.

An hour later, my IRL friends texted me asking if I wanted to go out for dinner. Even though I already had plans to game with the boys, I felt obligated to see my IRL friends since one of them helped watch my cat while I was on vacation for the holidays. Under the assumption that my IRL friends just wanted to get dinner, I accepted their invite and planned to meet them at 6pm.

I meet my IRL friends for dinner and we finish around 7:45pm. Perfect timing for me to get back home and still hop on with the boys! Unfortunately, my master planning did not work out the way I had hoped. While we were walking out of the restaurant, one of my IRL friends suggests we go back to their place to play a board game. We go back to my friend’s place and start playing the board game and at this point I knew I wouldn’t be able to play with my gaming friends that night. I texted my gaming friends to let them know my situation and they immediately responded with how “fake” I am and how they aren’t surprised. One of the gaming friends seemed to understand and wished me a good time with my IRL friends, although I’m not fully sure if he was being sarcastic. I still had a great time with my IRL friends, but I know I let my gaming friends down and ditched those plans to see people in person instead.

My gaming friends have been ruthless the past couple days and I feel tension that I have never felt with them. AITA for abandoning the plans I made with my gaming friends for my IRL friends?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/sleepless2610 on 2024-01-09 07:00:29+00:00.

My boyfriend (M30) and i (F28) have been together for around 3 years. He started to talk to a new F friend with kids. I got jealous, something that i never felt with him before. I kept asking information on that person. It was to a point where thinking of her and talking about her made me in physical pain. Today i learnt that they are now an item. Additionaly he said that i was the one that pushed him to her with my jealousy. Keep in mind that she met me and knew he had a gf but still told him i was right to be jealous. He keeps telling me that he didnt cheat because nothing physical happened but i disagree and find emotionnal cheating to be worse. We have 2 dogs, they are my babies and i took care of them while mr went out the whole day to "figure things out". AITA for telling him to move out and that i am keeping the dogs ?

Edit: the going away for a day worth drives went for about a month where he was never home. Which finally ended in him cheating.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Key_Region4178 on 2024-01-09 06:58:08+00:00.

I (19m) live in an apartment with my step sister (18f). Lately, I've been trying to save money by meal prepping, so I've been making her lunches to take with her to work. I do this for two reasons:

1. I enjoy cooking and I like making food for someone other than myself.
2. I only ever see her eating snacks and never an actual meal unless it's fast food.

She has a long distance boyfriend who has expressed concern at the fact that she's living with another guy (me). She keeps explaining to him that A. I am her step brother and B. I am very much a homosexual. He already knows that I do most of the cooking, but recently he found out about the lunches and they got in an argument about it. I mean I sort of get it? Some random guy he doesn't know is packing his girlfriend's lunch every day. I don't see it as anything other than meal prep. I've noticed she hasn't been taking them with her the last couple days, though.

Personally, I think her boyfriend is overreacting. But I'm not in a relationship so I don't know. Is making a lunch for someone every day really that big of a deal? I would do the same for my biological sister if it were her living here instead.

I also just want to add this here: I don't want to see any jokes about "help me stepbro I'm stuck" or anything like that. I hear enough of it already. My dad has been remarried for 3 years and I only see her as family, same as my bio sister.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Less_Inspection_4944 on 2024-01-09 06:53:46+00:00.

I (38F) and my partner (35F) have been together for 14 years. My partner has only worked for a few months during our relationship which has been fine by me as she has cared for our children. We both get the same allowance each fortnight to buy what we want, and the rest of my wage goes on bills and savings. My partner now has a part-time job and I thought that this money would go into our shared accounts with us continuing as we were with our allowance each fortnight, however she thinks she should keep the money she earns and the allowance and that I am TA for thinking she wouldn't. Am I?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/PastAsk4438 on 2024-01-09 06:53:21+00:00.

I am bullied in school by multiple different people and groups, not badly, but to the point where it's effecting my day-to-day school life... I take different paths to my classes, I avoid going out of my house incase I see someone I know, I arrive at school earlier than most so they don't see me, etc.

Growing up in these times, TikTok is a common social media for my peers to have, and a lot of my bullies have public accounts. One day I was doing some snooping on an alternative account and found out that I can download and screenshot their TikToks... I have files of TikToks on my computer, and a lot of them have been since deleted by my bullies. It might sound weird, but it just feels like I have some kind of power over them? These people seem to have so much dictation over me, but yet I still have their silly little videos to watch and laugh over.

I was talking to my friends about this and they laughed at me, and even asked to see some videos, but deep down I feel like I'm doing something bad?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Ambitious-Search3843 on 2024-01-09 05:19:54+00:00.

My sister went MIA (I won't be going to go into detail about that). She is not involved and gave her child up to my parents. My parents have custody of my niece and she is living with my parents who feel as though they are getting too old, enough to the point where they can barely take care of her and attend to her needs.

I have two children already and don't want any more children. My parents invited me over for a sit down conversation. They explained to me how it is getting hard for them to care for my niece due to their age and suggested that I should take her in. I declined as they know I have two children and don't plan on having more. My parents, mostly my mother, accused me of being selfish and bringing up the fact I live in a house with 4 bedrooms. She suggested that I should turn one the bedrooms over for my niece. I told her that won't be happening as I don't want more children and do no want the responsibility of more kids.

I suggested that they should give my niece up to

foster care or try looking for the girl's mother. My dad agreed to making the search for her mother the first priority and if that didn't go well they would then consider putting the child into foster care. I offered to help with the search, but as I was leaving my parents'my mother asked me if I would be able to live with myself if my niece were to get put into foster care I responded to her saying of course I would feel bad but more kids comes with more responsibilities and that's not something I want in my life. She proceeded to call me a selfish ahole before walking away. I shrugged it off

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/appleatchaash on 2024-01-09 01:26:04+00:00.

Background:

I (37f) and husband (37m) have been married for 10 years and have 3 children. Every summer, my family takes a vacation to the beach. I'm not a huge beach fan, but our kids LOVE it, plus my mom pays for me and my siblings and our families, so it's almost a free trip (excluding travel there, which usually isn't a huge cost). Some years only some of my family makes it, but a few years ago my entire family (50+ people) went as a last trip with my grandma. Husband HATES the beach, but reluctantly went with us.

His behavior was HORRENDOUS. He wouldn't leave the condo, bailed on previously booked activities that made the cost go up for others, and didn't help AT ALL with our kids. It was basically like he wasn't there, and when he was, he was complaining the whole time. I was so embarrassed. My whole family gave me the pitying stares the whole time and tried to help me as best they could, but it was just a miserable time. Our daughters begged him to play on the beach with them and he just wouldn't engage at all.

Since then, he hasn't accompanied us back. In fact, he will only go on vacations with us if it is a place of his choosing. Which is usually hiking. Don't get me wrong, I like to hike, but I'd also like to do other things. And so would the kids.

Now on to the part where I called him selfish.

We are now planning our trip for this summer to the beach, and once again, he says he will not go. The kids are devastated again, because they want him to go so they can swim together and build sandcastles together. He says he just hates the beach and there's no changing his mind.

I got frustrated and called him selfish because he never wants to do anything that the kids enjoy. He said I was being a jerk and there's nothing I can do that will make him like the beach. I told him it's not about liking the beach, it's about spending time with his family. He says we could skip it and go hiking instead if we want to spend time together. So I said we won't be going on anymore of his vacations.

Now I feel guilty, since that was the one thing he would do with us. AITA?

EDIT: I'm not going to deny my kids the yearly beach vacation. They look forward to it all year long. But they are quite literally the only ones there without their dad present, and they've noticed.

EDIT 2: My whole extended family does not go every year. We don't spend the entire time together. There is plenty of downtime and time to be alone. I have suggested new places before and been vetoed. His family has also wanted to do a beach trip (they love the beach) but he refuses. Also, he has no trauma. He just hates the heat and sand and says it's boring.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/United-Description90 on 2024-01-08 23:59:39+00:00.

I (22F) recently welcomed a beautiful baby boy into the world. My mom (48F) and sister (16F) often come over to visit. They came over again yesterday and my sister desperately wanted to hold him but I was extremely reluctant. She has a history of being physical because she has Down syndrome—she pushes and shoves people, regardless of their size. It's not out of malice; it's just her way of interacting. But now, with a fragile newborn in the house, I can't help but feel concerned. My mom does not believe this behavior can be corrected at all.

Each time my sister is near the baby, I'm on edge, fearing she might accidentally hurt him. So, I gently asked her to keep her distance from the baby just for the sake of his safety.

Here's where things got complicated. My mom, thinks I'm excluding my sister. She insists that my sister should have the same rights as anyone else to hold and be around the baby. She believes I'm being overly protective and hurting my sister's feelings.

This isn't about favoritism or exclusion. I love my sister deeply, but my priority is my newborn's safety. It's breaking my heart to be caught between protecting my baby and potentially hurting my sister.

So am I the asshole for trying to keep him safe, or should I just let my sister interact with the baby? I'm torn

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/MoyDavd on 2024-01-08 23:08:43+00:00.

Background… i 40 and wife 40 have been together 11 years 2 kiddos. Her new coworker is known (according to wife) to flirt with men other than her husband for drinks and get a bit too touchy.

My wife didnt go clubbing before we met or since but went dancing 3 times with a new coworker in the last 2 months and i didnt say much just asked what time she'd be back, she was late by more hour both times and just told her i was kinda worried since she was late by +/-1.5hours and the roads are pretty shitty around here in winter. Now she tells me her friend wants to grab a room at the hilton to go clubbing and sleep overthere and come back the next day... were talking a 15 km drive.

Am i wrong to not be ok with the whole situation?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Icy_Performance8416 on 2024-01-08 21:34:16+00:00.

I 28F have two sons 5M and 1M. My SIL has a daughter Ava 4F. My FIL has recently been diagnosed with cancer, and my SIL drives him to all his appointments which are twice a week and I offered to babysit Ava during this time.

At my house, I keep the heating on most of the time as it is very cold and my youngest refuses to wear anything with long sleeves or jumpers. When my SIL dropped Ava off for the first time, she wore like 4 layers and I told her to keep on as many as she wanted, but our house will get warmer when the heating comes on and she might not want to wear all those layers later.

Yesterday my SIL texted me to stop putting the heating on when Ava comes over as Ava asks for the heating to be on at home now as it’s too cold and she won’t wear the layers. I flat out said no, as it’s my house and thought it was a weird thing for my SIL to ask. My husband thinks I’m being a bit too harsh and said we could compromise by the heating on a lower temperature and getting our youngest to wear a jumper. I told him to be my guest as our youngest refuses to wear a jumper and will not sit still at all if I try at put a jumper on him. My husband then told me my SIL is struggling with bills at the minute and that Ava asking for the heating to be put on was probably embarassing for her and that me saying no was a bit harsh.