Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/hgaleut on 2024-01-08 06:33:49+00:00.

I have a 16 year old daughter that suffers from dyslexia and ADHD. She has an IEP and enrolled in the special education program at our local high school. This last term she came down with mono and then Covid and missed a lot of school. We were coming to the end of the term and her English teacher wouldn’t work with us on waiving some of the assignments she missed because of her illnesses. One of the assignments she was missing was a short story about a dystopian society. Because of her dyslexia, she has a hard time putting her thoughts in her head onto paper. We have helped her many times by having her verbally talk out the assignment and then help her write the sentences. The ideas and plot were hers, but the actual text was a combination of mine and hers. So obviously it had good grammar and punctuation compared to her normal writing style. The end of the term was right before Christmas break and she turned in the short story the day the term ended. I emailed her English teacher explaining how she struggles putting words on paper and I helped her with the story but the idea and plot was hers. She was pretty happy with the story and it made me happy to help her realize that she can write a good story. That afternoon, we got an email from her teacher saying that he ran the story through an AI detection software and it was flagged as written by AI and my daughter had cheated and was getting a zero. He also claimed he discussed it with other teachers and the school administration and they all agreed it was cheating. I was so pissed off. I immediately emailed him back reminding him of the email I sent earlier and it wasn’t written by AI. But the teacher had left for Christmas break and didn’t respond. I spent the days of Christmas break stewing about this. I started testing the AI detection software they use and it was easily tricked. I would write paragraphs of text or copy letters to the editor into the AI detector and it would flag them as written by AI. I then asked ChatGPT to explain how AI detectors work and ran it through the AI detector and it came back as written by human. Clearly this AI detector that claims 99% accuracy is full of crap. I even contacted a lawyer to see what I could do if the school wouldn’t back down. The day before school restarted, I noticed the teacher changed the grade from a 0 to a more accurate grade. He didn’t contact me to apologize for calling her a cheater. So when school restarted, I told my daughter to not attend his class.

AITA for not letting her attend the English class with this teacher? He is the only 10th grade English teacher for Special Ed English and the school said there aren’t any options to change her class schedule. I refuse to accept this explanation and I want them to fix it.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Spiritual_Most_6874 on 2024-01-08 12:03:42+00:00.

My husband and I took some time out from his mom last year because she was interfering into my personal business that had no impact on her whatsoever.

The gist of what happened is; I was contacted by some biological family members of mine, my late father's parents and two of his siblings. They had reached out to say they regretted letting me and my younger sister go into foster care when we were 6 and 2 after our parents died. My sister died in foster care and then I was left totally alone with no family. So having these people reach out now that I'm 29 and haven't seen them in over two decades, it pissed me off.

The reason for them not taking me is I was my father's affair baby. He was married with kids when he and my mom started an affair and his marriage to his ex wife only came to an end when my mom was 6 months pregnant with me. The fallout meant my father was hated, understandably, but so was I and so was my sister when she was born. I have very vague memories of his older children and none of them pleasant. My father's parents and siblings all sided with his ex wife and the children once my parents died and decided foster care was the only place for us since we had nobody on our maternal side (my mother was a foster kid herself). I saw my grandparents and aunts and uncles at my sister's funeral but she was buried by the state since none of them claimed her body and I was just a child myself so I couldn't.

I had no desire to welcome them into my life or to "forgive" and form a relationship.

My MIL started making comments that I should give them a chance or I will regret it. She said how am I ever supposed to know "my siblings" if I don't make the effort. My husband told her to stop. I even told her "my siblings" weren't part of the group who reached out and from the limited info I heard they have no interest in establishing anything with me and it sounds like they feel like I should have died with my sister. MIL said it didn't mean I shouldn't try and then she wanted to know their names so she could talk to them. After her not letting up despite my husband telling her multiple times. We decided to take that break from her. Then a little over a week ago she showed up and told me she found them on FB and was waiting for them to accept a message so she could talk to them and "fix things for me". I lost my temper and told her to stay out of things that don't fucking concern her. She told me not to curse and she was trying to help. My husband was furious with his mom when he got home. They argued and then his brother got involved and basically said I should have just shut the door in her face and let my husband deal with her.

So now I'm wondering if he's right and I was wrong to engage and say what I did. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Aggravating-Plant369 on 2024-01-08 00:28:19+00:00.

I am a 16m

I was sleeping in my bed. We were supposed to go out in the morning for a walk, but I accidentally overslept.

My mom then walked into my room without announcing herself/knocking and then ripped off my blankets, which exposed my body as I was naked. She saw everything and was yelling at me to get up.

I was so embarrassed and mortified and I felt that I had 0 privacy in that moment. I ended up telling her to "f off" as it was all bizarre to me, and I had only just woken up.

Fast forward, both of my parents are angry with me for telling her to f off, and won't really talk to me a week later. My mom refuses to see her part in it either, and believes that she didn't do anything wrong.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Long-Yesterday1497 on 2024-01-08 12:02:41+00:00.

Using fake names for obvious reasons.

I (35F) have been married to my wife (Amy - 33F) for the past 10 years. I have no siblings. Amy has a brother (Max - 40M) who has three kids, two sons (Leo 6 and Ryan 5) and a daughter (Anne 8). We have two kids (Sarah 7 and Ava 5).

Now I love all of Max's children. And they get along really well with our kids. They constantly have sleepovers and play together, etc. Leo and Ryan are walking earthquakes. They're pretty active kids who enjoy physical activities much more than anything else. Anne is more laid back, and we have a special bond.

For example, my wife and I have a thing where we play chess or do crafts with our girls. Anne usually joins and asks us to sit with her. She also likes my profession (I'm an ENT doctor) and asks me all kinds of questions. (She loves the idea of being able to see inside one's nose and ear).

For Christmas, we got all of Max's kids a special gift. They came over for dinner one day during the holidays. Now I'd already gotten Anne her very own chess set around a month ago, and hadn't been able to give it to her because I kept forgetting it and it was in my office for a good while.

However, I thought I'd just give her the gift while she was with us. Amy also agreed and said it would be a good idea and she could play chess with her friends etc. Max seemed to hate the idea. When the kids were gone he told me I was being sexist for clearly favoring his daughter, and said I needed to treat his kids equally.

I said I just wanted to give a special gift, Amy took my side and said Max was being very petty about something as innocent as this. He is still upset with me. I wanted to apologise but Amy said I don't need to because I didn't do anything wrong. Was it an AH move to give her the chess set then?

Edit: I got Leo all kinds of baseball stuff like bat, jersey, ball, etc. I got Ryan a bike. I knew they specifically like those activities. The original gift for Anne was a barbie dollhouse since she loved the movie, and I gave her this chess set later as something I bought a month ago

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/BrattyBatGirl3 on 2024-01-08 00:10:44+00:00.

I (36F) and my partner (36M) have been together for just over 2 years, lived together for 12 months. For the duration of our relationship I've always felt like a third wheel, due to his mum coming over A LOT and always being invited to days out etc. He makes the effort to pay for her to come along, even paying for her to come to our first holiday abroad together, where I was left behind whilst he, his mum and son went on beach days together etc. I told him how I felt and he said that he wanted her in his sons life as much as possible, so I let it go.

He recently went through a custody battle to gain 50/50 custody of his son. During this time I was there for him emotionally, I attended court where possible, helped write statements, attending meetings for social services and solicitors, and babysat his son for him for the duration of the summer holidays. His mum gave him £1000 towards solicitors fees and he was recently successful in gaining 50/50 contact.

Fast forward to Dec 26th we spent 5 days straight alone together (a very rare occurance for us) and it was great, we bonded more, talked more, laughed more and I felt really close to him again. Then on 2nd January he came home from work and announced he had booked a "family holiday" I excitedly asked where and when and he responded with "oh not you, just me, my mum and DS, hope that's OK? but I felt like I needed to thank her for supporting me through the custody battle"

I immediately started crying, not so much because of missing out on the holiday (his mother and I rarely see eye to eye, due to me wanting time with my partner without her around, which she doesnt like as she says she feels "abandoned" -so the idea of spending a week with her fills me with dread, especially after she crashed our first holiday) but it was that he hadn't discussed it with me before booking it, offered for me to come, and clearly doesn't consider me "family"

I yelled at him and said I was sick of him making no time for our relationship and always putting his mum before me. He said he wanted to "pay her back" by treating her to a holiday. I told him he could have just paid her back or treated her another way without isolating me in the process. As i sat crying he sat back in his chair in silence, didnt comfort me and just said "Im sorry you feel that way" ...This got my back up even more, we argued and haven't spoken since.

...AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/so_tangled on 2024-01-08 10:34:12+00:00.

English is my second language, please excuse mistakes in grammar.

So my parents have a big house with a really big backyard, garden and we have always had dogs.

Summer 2023, I have adopted a dog (info - I am living with my parents because I couldn’t afford my rent anymore after my SO left me, and adopting this dog was discussed with them beforehand to see if they would let me keep it at their place until I could move, they agreed) - Nala - from bad people - and I mean really bad - dog was constantly beaten, abused, not fed properly. Nala is big dog, but she was so skiny that she weighted only 15kgs (where normally her sized dog should weight about 35kgs). I heard about her from my friends, who are owner’s neighbours, and went to ask them if they would give Nala for adoption. They agreed as “we do not need her here”.

Fast forward to November - Nala is getting healthy, she is the sweetest dog, usually very calm but seems to be having separation issues - she starts howling at night if no one has been giving her at least some attention at daytime. Now my sister asked me if I could watch her kids (boy 5 and boy 3) for a few days while she went on an anniversary trip with her husband, and I agreed. Everything went well, Nala was at my parent’s, 4 days have passed and my sister returned. I went home to my parents and haven’t noticed Nala. Went to look if she was in the backyard, but she was not there.

I waited until my parents got back from the store and asked them where the dog is. They said she was in a shelter in a different city. I asked them why, and their explanation was “She was bothering us with her howling”. I got really attached to Nala so I got extremely upset about it, and asked again and again crying why my parents would do this. They said that this dog was not theirs so it didn’t bother or hurt them, and they don’t see the issue here, because she was making them uncomfortable at their own place. I shouted at them, saying that they can’t behave like this and that they shouldn’t have taken her in if it was such a problem for them, and what were they thinking giving her away to the shelter when I was only gone for 4 days. They could have called me and I would come by to check on her if she was misbehaving or anything, but every time I called they said that she’s great. We got into a fight and now everyone in my family are telling me that I’m the asshole for mistreating my parents and no one really wants to keep in touch with me.

I have tried going to that shelter to take her back, as I am now renting my own place and landlord is kind enough to let me keep a pet, but as my mother turned Nala in under my name - shelter cannot let me adopt her…

So please, help me understand, AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Strong-Vermicelli-89 on 2024-01-08 10:20:11+00:00.

For Christmas, I bought a PS5 for my son(17) since he has been asking for one for months.

My daughter(14) is always jealous of her brother. She is very greedy and always wants what her brother has, in this case, she wants the PS5.

She insists we let her use it but I told her no, it's your brother's and he doesn't want to share so he shouldn't have to.

She started nagging saying it's unfair and we should buy a PS5 for her then but we can't afford 2 PS5s so now she won't talk to anyone and thinks we are assholes

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Altruistic-Hurry3010 on 2024-01-07 22:20:47+00:00.

My husband and I just had our first baby last year. Our daughter is the first grandchild on both sides of our families, so as a result she is quite spoiled. Although we are always appreciative of the gifts we receive for our child there has always been a boundary issue with my in laws since my husband and I met which I will not go into but it’s important to note. This Christmas being our daughters first she was showered with many, many gifts majority being toys and stuff we had mentioned to our parents that she needed. We were super grateful that majority would be items that will be put to good use, since most of the gifts she received we can’t afford at the moment me being a stay at home mom and us living off of just my husbands income. this is where the boundary issue comes in. We had mentioned multiple times to our parents how we are choosing to raise our child. My husband and I both decided we would like to steer away from screen time as much as possible and opt in for more engaging activities and toys. That means no phones, no iPad and limited tv time since our little one is ONLY 5 months. Well my father in law went out of his way and bought our daughter a 65” screen tv for us to put in the room. We don’t even have enough space for a tv that big nor do we even watch tv that much ourselves to be interested in a tv that big not to mention that a FIVE month old has no business having a tv for herself. I told my husband that he’s just going to have to give his dad the gift back but my husband is refusing to since he says that it will offend him.

[EDIT] there are just something’s I’d like to clarify since I’ve noticed previous comments have similar questions. No, my husband did not secretly go behind my back and ask for a TV for himself, we were both rather shocked when we saw FIL haul this thing into our living room. Yes, both sets of grandparents are aware of how we’re choosing to raise our child. At one point I did suggest my husband we swap it out with the one in our living for the occasional movie night. but unfortunately since we are currently living in an apartment there’s just not enough space hence why we also can’t just place it in the garage, etc. because we live in an apartment. As obnoxious as this might sound my FIL made it very clear to us that this is a gift for his grandkid and not a family gift which is why it doesn’t feel like a genuine gift. FIL has had a track récord of testing us as new parents. This is the same man who in summary threw a fit over a no sick visitor rule when our baby was a NB while no one else seemed to have any issues with that request. The only reason I’m suggesting we give it back is in hopes that, that be the best option as FIL can just return it and get back his moneys worth and we can forget all this even happened.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/rrashad21 on 2024-01-07 22:02:14+00:00.

Back in 2013 - 2014 my mom's side of the family had to evacuate FL due to an incoming hurricane. They had nowhere to go so my immediate family & I (I was in highschool) all agreed to put our paychecks together & have half my mom's family (2 married sisters, 6 nieces, mom, and their pets) stay with us in our house while the others stayed in a pet friendly hotel paid for by us.

When they arrived in Virginia, the week was filled with complaints that we were rubbing our wealth in their face because we were the only family to own a home and they didn't (grandmother is very wealthy, but won't share with her struggling children/grandchildren, nor will she use the money to improve her own life, she also rents). We apologized & said we would do better next time.

Next year, I'm graduating high school and my immediate family and I agree to pool our funds and invite my mom's side of the family over for my graduation. This time we would stage them in a nice 4 star hotel, everyone who wanted their own rooms got one, everyone else shared. They then proceeded to complain that we didn't think they were worth a 5 star hotel, and secretly moved to a 5 star after we already paid for lodging. They then complained they lost money because we're too selfish to give them a nice stay.

Next year my cousin graduated, we attempted to make plans to figure out the lodging but were ignored. We were simply given a time/ date for the graduation. My immediate family & I get a hotel in Florida. My mom's family still ignores us when we reach out. My grandfather calls, and informs us the whole family is staying with him (also very wealthy) and that he would have invited us to stay with him, but the family voted no. We remained professional and enjoyed our time.

The next year my brother graduates, we invite the family, but inform them they will pay for their own lodging & if they choose not to come due to money problems then we understand. The entire family manages to show for my brothers graduation, but they now complain the entire stay that we are AH for not allowing them into our home, nor paying for their lodging, and that we are everything wrong with the "modern day family."

I proceeded to call them out for their bullshit and that they were ungrateful, immature, pricks, and a lot of other personal things I won't get into.

We've had zero contact since, but there was an announcement of a massive family get-together in March. We were not invited, and we only knew due to my grandfather reaching out and updating us and saying he would not attend if we couldn't. Apparently the family is split 60/40 on who's going / not going to stand with us. Ultimately it was agreed that I was the deciding factor on why my family is excluded and why the event is in shambles.

They agreed we're welcome if I apologize in front of everyone and admit I was wrong, along with also paying for the more expensive items being hosted at the event.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/AdvancedRemote2504 on 2024-01-07 21:28:34+00:00.

I (27F) asked my husband (27M) to grocery shop instead of me because I was tired. Every week for the last couple years we have been married, I grocery shop on Sunday so that I can cook and prep meals for the week as I am also in charge of meal planning for the household.

This week, we were sitting on the coach watching the football game and I asked him if he would grocery shop for me and he asked me why. I said because I was tired. His response was “go tomorrow” and I can’t because of work and gym, so by the time I get home and cook, it would be after 9:00 pm. He then countered with - we can eat out this week instead of groceries. I don’t want to eat out because it is very expensive. I asked him “Why can’t you go for me this week since I go every other time?”

He flew off the handle! He said that “Because you asked me this question, I will NEVER go grocery shop in the future. Why is it my job to grocery shop when you are too tired? I said I will order food for the week. How could you even ask me this question?”

I explained to him that while this chore is usually my responsibility, I am asking him to help me. I reminded him that we are partners. When he is tired and asks me to help him with something, I do it without question. I am simply asking for his help this week.

He then countered with “From now on then, I will buy only my groceries and you will buy yours. You will never have to buy or cook for me again.” I explained to him that “I don’t mind doing the groceries and cooking, but today I am more tired than normal and that if one of us doesn’t then we won’t have food for the week. It’s important that we eat.” All he did was kiss his lips.

I stand up and put my shoes on to go to the store. (He had given me his card early this morning before church so that I could go later. He pays for all the groceries while I handle some of the other bills.) He says “Give me my card. You can stay here. I will order us food this week, and if you want to eat something else then you can go buy it.”

So am I the asshole?

UPDATE: A lot of people are asking if this is normal - no, he has never had such a strong reaction like this before. We talked more and he said that by me mentioning that I always do it that I am “keeping score of who works harder”

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/LizBeefo on 2024-01-08 09:45:47+00:00.

2 years ago my mum died from cancer.She was very young, in her late 50s. My parents were married and happy, of course it was so hard for all us. In under a year he met a new woman and then months later announce they’re engaged. It’s a short engagement, about 8-9 months from getting engaged till the actual wedding. I do understand a lot of people (seemingly more widowed men from stories l've others have told me) find someone very quickly and often be remarried before a year even, so l'm trying not to be naive here. For my siblings and l it has been a little strange as for us as we are still processing the death of our mother but also the new fiance is only a few years older than me and my sister who are the eldest. we've tried our best to make an effort to be happy for him and be welcoming to her, all while processing our grief. My issue is that he so wrapped up with his new fiancé that he’s forgotten we are still grieving. To the point that on the 2 year anniversary of our mums death 3 of us got their wedding invite in the post while the others the day after. It hurt all of us that they didn’t think about this date in the days/week leading up to it, but I decided to leave it as I didn't want to taint their joy. He sent a message to my grandma (my mums mum) out of the blue after no contact since the funeral (I was with my grandma at the time) asking for their address so he could send them an invite the day after the anniversary, hence we were with my grandparents to support each other. Not asking how they were at this time/how they were coping with loss of their daughter/whether they’d be ok with an invite... just stating they were being invited and he needed their address. My dear grandma said she’d like to attend for our sake, though my grandad refused point blank and was too upset to talk further. A month later me and my sisters were added to the hen do WhatsApp group with all new fiancés friends all now chatting excitedly and planning the hen. For us that was another pang of heartache, as we are only in this position coz our mum (pretty recently) died. Here's where l'm wondering if AlTA... I sent my dad a message to say I'm happy for him but feel theyve not though about our grief and would've liked to be asked first before being added to a hen group. But most importantly remember certain dates, i.e. the anniversary, and not send wedding invites in the days/week before this time. He replied saying "sorry l'm not being thoughtful enough.l'll make sure to check with you beforehand". Not it might've been insensitive to send his kids wedding invites just before the anniversary. I said I don’t want him to run everything by me, just remember we’re grieving. Then he blamed the post and said that it wasn't their fault it arrived on the day. Now I think he's avoiding me. So, AITA for putting a dampener on their wedding by highlighting our grief.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/hgaleut on 2024-01-08 06:33:49+00:00.

I have a 16 year old daughter that suffers from dyslexia and ADHD. She has an IEP and enrolled in the special education program at our local high school. This last term she came down with mono and then Covid and missed a lot of school. We were coming to the end of the term and her English teacher wouldn’t work with us on waiving some of the assignments she missed because of her illnesses. One of the assignments she was missing was a short story about a dystopian society. Because of her dyslexia, she has a hard time putting her thoughts in her head onto paper. We have helped her many times by having her verbally talk out the assignment and then help her write the sentences. The ideas and plot were hers, but the actual text was a combination of mine and hers. So obviously it had good grammar and punctuation compared to her normal writing style. The end of the term was right before Christmas break and she turned in the short story the day the term ended. I emailed her English teacher explaining how she struggles putting words on paper and I helped her with the story but the idea and plot was hers. She was pretty happy with the story and it made me happy to help her realize that she can write a good story. That afternoon, we got an email from her teacher saying that he ran the story through an AI detection software and it was flagged as written by AI and my daughter had cheated and was getting a zero. He also claimed he discussed it with other teachers and the school administration and they all agreed it was cheating. I was so pissed off. I immediately emailed him back reminding him of the email I sent earlier and it wasn’t written by AI. But the teacher had left for Christmas break and didn’t respond. I spent the days of Christmas break stewing about this. I started testing the AI detection software they use and it was easily tricked. I would write paragraphs of text or copy letters to the editor into the AI detector and it would flag them as written by AI. I then asked ChatGPT to explain how AI detectors work and ran it through the AI detector and it came back as written by human. Clearly this AI detector that claims 99% accuracy is full of crap. I even contacted a lawyer to see what I could do if the school wouldn’t back down. The day before school restarted, I noticed the teacher changed the grade from a 0 to a more accurate grade. He didn’t contact me to apologize for calling her a cheater. So when school restarted, I told my daughter to not attend his class.

AITA for not letting her attend the English class with this teacher? He is the only 10th grade English teacher for Special Ed English and the school said there aren’t any options to change her class schedule. I refuse to accept this explanation and I want them to fix it.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Morinrize on 2024-01-08 04:47:52+00:00.

My wife(24f) and I(26m) got into an argument because she didn't think the way I spend time with my niece was acceptable. Context. I lived with my sister since my niece(11f) was born. Last year I've moved out on my own and in the same year I got married to my wife. Because of the rapid shift in life and work becoming more busy then ever, I haven't had the time or energy to make time for that part of my family. Recently I made time to invite my niece over. No plans, just for her to come over and hang out with my wife and I. After picking her up on the way home she talked about wanting to build a snow man and a bunch of other things we thought would be fun. After getting home my wife says that while Niece and I go out to play in the snow she'll finish some chores around the house. Before going out Niece sees my Vr headset and shows interest so I offer to let her play it before going outside. She says yes, so.i start it up and she starts playing. 5 minutes pass and my wife comes into the room and asks why we aren't outside yet. I tell her that Niece wanted to play VR first so I let her. Wife gets upset, saying video games isn't quality time. I respond with "we're spending time together and niece is having fun, so why does it matter?" Wife storms off. Soon after niece and I do go out and make a couple of snowmen and snow angles, ect. And after playing in the snow for 30ish minutes, Niece asks to play vr again. I say yes and she skips away to play vr in the living room. We switch back and forth trying to beat each others score in Beat Saber and stuff like that.

Fast forward. I drop Niece back off at home and come back home and my wife has a list made out for me when I walk back into the door. It's a list of things that our young guests aren't allowed to do while at our house. And on the list is no playing video games amongst other seemingly arbitrary prohibitions. I say " The list is not necessary, because when I bring my family or friends over I'm going to do what we enjoy." She says "that's no way to spend time with kids, doing nothing but playing video games. I like doing crafts and playing board games and other things with my siblings when they come over, why can't you do the same?" I respond "because we weren't raised don't those things so i didn't think to do those things, but if you offered to try some of that stuff when she was still here I would've obliged. But I'm not going to accept a list of prohibitions because you don't like our version of fun." The argument escalated and I maybe sorta said some mean things like "you're too narrow minded and dull to accept that things other than what you like are fun"

Tl;DR Wife imposed rules for what activities I'm not allowed to do with my nieces when they come over. I refused to accept it because it prohibits playing video games.

Am I the A-Hole

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/TheThrowerOfAways24 on 2024-01-08 04:07:14+00:00.

Recently I (20m) have returned from an international trip with my girlfriend (21f) and her sister (17f). On our return trip, the first plane we had to take had only 4 seats per row (2 on either side of the aisle), so the seating arrangement that we had would sit my girlfriend and her sister next to each other, and I would sit right behind them next to somebody else (or, if I was lucky, next to an empty seat!). My girlfriend's sister has a fear of flying, so my girlfriend had to sit next to her, and I was okay with sitting outside of their row. We booked these seats in advance.

At the airport while we were at our gate waiting to board, literally about 5 minutes before boarding started, the gate agent called me up and told me that my assigned seat had been moved 9 rows up in order to accommodate a family that had to sit together. I was not asked beforehand at all if I wanted to move my seat, and when I got to the gate agent they already had a new boarding pass printed out for me.

When I returned to my girlfriend and her sister to tell them that my seat had been moved, my girlfriend asked me why I didn't complain that they moved me and demand my original seat back, and I reply that I just didn't think to in the moment. She then tells me to go back up to the gate agent to complain, to which I say that I didn't want to, as the flight was going to be boarding very soon.

I am not a confrontational person, my girlfriend knows that, as we have been dating for over a year. We had a tight connection after this flight (less than an hour), and the flight itself was rather short (also less than an hour), so I did not think it was that big of a deal to cause a scene or risk delaying the flight even by a moment, as I was nervous about missing the connection. Not to mention that I had only found out literally 5 minutes before boarding the plane.

After this, my girlfriend got very mad at me, saying things like "I don't know why you can't stand up for yourself" and "I'm pissed off that we have to sit in the back of the plane and we're not even sitting by each other" (when I booked the flight, the back half of the plane was the only spot where all three of us could sit in close proximity, due to other seats being booked, etc; she and her sister okayed the arrangement before I booked the seats, and I did not foresee myself getting moved).

After we boarded the plane, before takeoff, my girlfriend texted me "the 'family' behind us is a couple. good job 👍", to which I replied "they just told me it was a family", to which she said "mhm".

After the plane landed, my girlfriend didn't talk to me and seemed to ignore me for most of the rest of the day, even when I talked to her. I was seated next to her on our next flight which was much longer, and she barely talked to me or acknowledged me, which made me sad. I don't think it is fair that she is very mad at me for something that is outside of my control, but I just want a third party opinion on this if IATA.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/WetBrainSurfer on 2024-01-08 03:58:15+00:00.

So, my wife and I have been married for three years now, and her family gatherings have become a real issue for me. Every time we attend these events, her family members can't help but comment on my clothing choices. I mean, seriously, I dress pretty casually, but it's not like I'm wearing burlap sacks.

At first, I brushed it off, thinking it was harmless banter. But it's become a pattern, and their comments have started to bother me. They make jokes or snide remarks about my style, saying things like, "Oh, still wearing those emo jeans?" or "Why don't you try dressing up for once?"

I've tried different approaches—ignoring the comments, laughing them off, or even attempting to address it politely. But nothing seems to work. I've spoken to my wife about how uncomfortable this makes me feel, but she just thinks her family is being playful and doesn't see it as a big deal.

Now, I've reached a point where I refuse to attend anything with her family. Most recently their yearly new years eve party (their family tradition). I don't want to subject myself to their constant remarks about something as stupid as clothing. But my wife thinks I'm overreacting and causing unnecessary drama by avoiding her family. And now they are making comments to her like I am a questionable father figure (we have been trying to get pregnant).

So AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/TradGear on 2024-01-08 02:37:52+00:00.

My father in law owned a large ranch that has been in his family for a few generations. This summer he was starting to go blind from diabetes so I drove out and spent a few months rounding up his cattle and cutting his hay to get sold. When the work was done he said he wanted to sell my wife and I the ranch. He named his price, which was certainly under market, but would provide well for him and his wife until they passed. We agreed and had attorneys draw up the purchase agreement, had land surveys done, legal, etc. Everything was signed and set to close. The day prior to closing FIL was served with divorce papers, halting the sale. MIL stated that she wanted to make sure she got her fair share out of the deal and getting a divorce was the only way she would be legally entitled to half.

A few days after getting served FIL has a heart attack, and died in the ICU about a month after. My wife and I dug the hole with a backhoe , bought him a casket, and put him to rest yesterday. Mother in law didn’t even bother to show up for the burial, neither did his other daughter.

Today, I stopped in to say goodbye to MIL before my wife and I started the two day drive home. She asked what needed to be done to cancel the land purchase agreement, to which I told her that we still intend to proceed, that all of the money would now go to her alone. She said that we weren’t paying enough for the land and she wanted us to cancel the agreement.

We said no, we had a deal with FIL that we would buy the land, and provide for them, and also promised to keep the ranch whole as long as we could. This didn’t end well; she accused us of stealing her inheritance, going behind her back, screwing her over, etc. It got to the point where I just had to say I’m sorry, I love you, but I have to get back home.

So, I plan on enforcing the purchase as agreed with my father in law, despite my mother in laws wishes. I feel guilty as fuck. AITA?

Edit: We are not concerned about the legal side of things; we had 3 lawyers work on the PA to make sure it was legit (ours, his, and a neutral 3rd party draftsmen). The agreement is valid and executable. Im just wondering if IATA for enforcing the agreement against MIL’s wishes after FIL passed away.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/SunnySideUp813 on 2024-01-08 07:52:23+00:00.

For some background: I (16 F) share a room with my sister (19 F). She likes to spend most of her time either watching tiktok or doing stuff with her boyfriend (in our room). I am fine with this and this isn't what bothers me.

She hasn't been bothered to get a job (ever) and has failed her driving test twice and then stopped trying. In my country you can't start learning how to drive until you are 16. I am currently learning how to drive and can't legally drive her places. She is mad at me and keeps telling me to "hurry up" so I can drive her to Starbucks and take her shopping.

While that does bother me, it's not why I yelled at her. 3 days ago, I was sick of sleeping in our messy room. Her stuff is all over the floor and whenever I try to tidy she yells at me and says that "you need to leave. I don't want you in here because I'm busy and you are taking up too much space." Keep in mind that the room we share is quite small (approximately) 2.8m (9.6ft) by 3.2m (10.5ft). It has 2 beds, a desk, and cupboard. So there isn't much space.

I was cleaning underneath and onto of my bed. As I was cleaning I was putting her stuff on her bed (she likes to put clothes and other things on my bed so she doesn't have to put it away), when she said "that's it. I'm sick of you throwing everything on my bed and pressuring me to clean. I don't feel comfortable with a clean freak in my room. And I hate you taking up all the space. It's my room too"

Here is where I might be TA, I yelled at her and said that "I shouldn't have to live with this. It's my room too. You can't yell at me for just existing in my own room. You are so lazy and don't a roof over your head. You should learn to exist out side of our room and I wish you would just move out already." I then picked up the rubbish bin and dumped it all over her bed.

I then left and have been sleeping in the living room for the past 3 days.

I do realise now that I over reacted and shouldn't have said and done the things I did. I just felt so frustrated and didn't feel like I was getting the help I needed from her.

I have since apologised but she won't accept it. I'm not surprised.

So AITA?

Edit: here's some more info, my parents are on vacation and won't be back for 4 days. They know what happend and were the ones to suggest we don't interact too much until they get back. They don't want things getting worse then they already are. They are at their best friend's wedding and don't want to leave early. They did send my Aunt over but she doesn't want to interfere and Is just making sure we don't do anything worse than what's happened.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/SunnySideUp813 on 2024-01-08 07:52:23+00:00.

For some background: I (16 F) share a room with my sister (19 F). She likes to spend most of her time either watching tiktok or doing stuff with her boyfriend (in our room). I am fine with this and this isn't what bothers me.

She hasn't been bothered to get a job (ever) and has failed her driving test twice and then stopped trying. In my country you can't start learning how to drive until you are 16. I am currently learning how to drive and can't legally drive her places. She is mad at me and keeps telling me to "hurry up" so I can drive her to Starbucks and take her shopping.

While that does bother me, it's not why I yelled at her. 3 days ago, I was sick of sleeping in our messy room. Her stuff is all over the floor and whenever I try to tidy she yells at me and says that "you need to leave. I don't want you in here because I'm busy and you are taking up too much space." Keep in mind that the room we share is quite small (approximately) 2.8m (9.6ft) by 3.2m (10.5ft). It has 2 beds, a desk, and cupboard. So there isn't much space.

I was cleaning underneath and onto of my bed. As I was cleaning I was putting her stuff on her bed (she likes to put clothes and other things on my bed so she doesn't have to put it away), when she said "that's it. I'm sick of you throwing everything on my bed and pressuring me to clean. I don't feel comfortable with a clean freak in my room. And I hate you taking up all the space. It's my room too"

Here is where I might be TA, I yelled at her and said that "I shouldn't have to live with this. It's my room too. You can't yell at me for just existing in my own room. You are so lazy and don't a roof over your head. You should learn to exist out side of our room and I wish you would just move out already." I then picked up the rubbish bin and dumped it all over her bed.

I then left and have been sleeping in the living room for the past 3 days.

I do realise now that I over reacted and shouldn't have said and done the things I did. I just felt so frustrated and didn't feel like I was getting the help I needed from her.

I have since apologised but she won't accept it. I'm not surprised.

So AITA?

Edit: here's some more info, my parents are on vacation and won't be back for 4 days. They know what happend and were the ones to suggest we don't interact too much until they get back. They don't want things getting worse then they already are. They are at their best friend's wedding and don't want to leave early. They did send my Aunt over but she doesn't want to interfere and Is just making sure we don't do anything worse than what's happened.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Holiday-Compote893 on 2024-01-08 06:15:50+00:00.

Throwaway because too many of my friends know my main account.

My fiance has a brother who's seven years younger than him. LB has started going to therapy fairly recently, mostly for PTSD from his military service but he also talks about his family.

A couple weeks ago, LB sent my fiance pictures from his vacation in Hawaii with his girlfriend of about six years.My fiance's rsponse was something like "Looks like a great honeymoon. Did you tell mom and dad yet?" He also sent the "All the Single Ladies" video.

So after they had come home, LB texted my fiance that he'd shown those messages to his therapist and she agreed with him that he's toxic because of always telling him what to do and turning everything into a joke, so it was best if they not talk.

Since I also like joking about serious things, I suggested that my fiance send LB the video of Britney Spears' "Toxic". He also thought it was funny, so he did it.

Now LB has him blocked on basically everything, their mom called to yell at him, and I feel like it's my fault even though my fiance doesn't blame me in the slightest.

So, Reddit - AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Holiday-Compote893 on 2024-01-08 06:15:50+00:00.

Throwaway because too many of my friends know my main account.

My fiance has a brother who's seven years younger than him. LB has started going to therapy fairly recently, mostly for PTSD from his military service but he also talks about his family.

A couple weeks ago, LB sent my fiance pictures from his vacation in Hawaii with his girlfriend of about six years.My fiance's rsponse was something like "Looks like a great honeymoon. Did you tell mom and dad yet?" He also sent the "All the Single Ladies" video.

So after they had come home, LB texted my fiance that he'd shown those messages to his therapist and she agreed with him that he's toxic because of always telling him what to do and turning everything into a joke, so it was best if they not talk.

Since I also like joking about serious things, I suggested that my fiance send LB the video of Britney Spears' "Toxic". He also thought it was funny, so he did it.

Now LB has him blocked on basically everything, their mom called to yell at him, and I feel like it's my fault even though my fiance doesn't blame me in the slightest.

So, Reddit - AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/White_Milk_Austria on 2024-01-08 01:56:25+00:00.

I just got a body pillow of Yuri from Doki-Doki Literature Club. I usually have it out in the common area of my dorm (the common area is shared by 4 people including me), so I can snuggle while I play video games (yes, I am very lonely). I go to get dinner, and while I am in the meal hall, one of my roommates and his dad come into the room. (his dad is helping him move some stuff in). According to my roommate, his father immediately assumes it is his (he's had problems with anime pillows before) and immediately leaves, along with the remaining half of his stuff that he had yet to move in. My roommate's father is refusing all calls, and my roommate is pissed at me, demanding that I pay for the stuff his dad took. I said that it is not my fault that his dad did that, and I can put my anime body pillow wherever I want.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/White_Milk_Austria on 2024-01-08 01:56:25+00:00.

I just got a body pillow of Yuri from Doki-Doki Literature Club. I usually have it out in the common area of my dorm (the common area is shared by 4 people including me), so I can snuggle while I play video games (yes, I am very lonely). I go to get dinner, and while I am in the meal hall, one of my roommates and his dad come into the room. (his dad is helping him move some stuff in). According to my roommate, his father immediately assumes it is his (he's had problems with anime pillows before) and immediately leaves, along with the remaining half of his stuff that he had yet to move in. My roommate's father is refusing all calls, and my roommate is pissed at me, demanding that I pay for the stuff his dad took. I said that it is not my fault that his dad did that, and I can put my anime body pillow wherever I want.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Creative_Monacle732 on 2024-01-08 01:45:12+00:00.

My mom (age 55) wanted to spend a month with me (age 35) following the birth of my son and I told her to limit it to two weeks instead. She was very upset about this-- am I the asshole?

FOR CONTEXT: My mother and I were extremely close when I was growing up. But my mother and I haven't had the best relationship for the past 12-ish years-- I came out as trans about ten years ago and my mother took it very hard. I was her only child and she treated me like her special little bestie for most of my life. We're now at a point where she's able to accept me as her son and doesn't really slip up on my pronouns or my chosen name. Knowing that our relationship and me having kids is really important to my mother, my wife and I agreed to invite my mother to visit when her first grandchild is born.

Now, this is where things get a little more complicated. Me and my wife have been living in an expensive city on the west coast of the US. Because of the cost of living and us both getting laid off, we're biting the bullet and moving back east to stay with my wife's family while she's pregnant with our first child. We will be guests in my in-law's house when the baby is born, which means that my mother will have to get a hotel for the duration of her visit. When my mother told me she was aiming for a 29-day stay, I called her and told her that she should limit her visit to two weeks.

I tried to explain why in every possible way that I could as delicately as I could. I started with the financial reasons-- my mother is willingly taking on a second job to pay for the cost of visiting, and I'm really not okay with her spending that much money just on a hotel. Then I pointed out the experience from my perspective-- my wife and I are having our first child and we think that bonding with our son is really important. And lastly, I also pointed out that I'll be working 99% of the time my mother's out there and my wife will be busy recovering from delivery and we're both going to be feeding our newborn every couple of hours.

My mother repeatedly asked if we weren't comfortable with her being there and if we were worried about her being an overbearing mother-in-law. I reassured her the entire time that that wasn't the case and repeated the reasons I listed in the previous paragraph as many different ways as I could. She looked like she was about to cry when I hung up with her.

I love my mom and I'm glad we're at a good place again, but my mom can be exhausting to spend time with. She's a very emotional person and it doesn't take much to hurt her feelings, but I wonder if I could've handled this situation in a way that was more firm but also kinder to her feelings. Am I the asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Creative_Monacle732 on 2024-01-08 01:45:12+00:00.

My mom (age 55) wanted to spend a month with me (age 35) following the birth of my son and I told her to limit it to two weeks instead. She was very upset about this-- am I the asshole?

FOR CONTEXT: My mother and I were extremely close when I was growing up. But my mother and I haven't had the best relationship for the past 12-ish years-- I came out as trans about ten years ago and my mother took it very hard. I was her only child and she treated me like her special little bestie for most of my life. We're now at a point where she's able to accept me as her son and doesn't really slip up on my pronouns or my chosen name. Knowing that our relationship and me having kids is really important to my mother, my wife and I agreed to invite my mother to visit when her first grandchild is born.

Now, this is where things get a little more complicated. Me and my wife have been living in an expensive city on the west coast of the US. Because of the cost of living and us both getting laid off, we're biting the bullet and moving back east to stay with my wife's family while she's pregnant with our first child. We will be guests in my in-law's house when the baby is born, which means that my mother will have to get a hotel for the duration of her visit. When my mother told me she was aiming for a 29-day stay, I called her and told her that she should limit her visit to two weeks.

I tried to explain why in every possible way that I could as delicately as I could. I started with the financial reasons-- my mother is willingly taking on a second job to pay for the cost of visiting, and I'm really not okay with her spending that much money just on a hotel. Then I pointed out the experience from my perspective-- my wife and I are having our first child and we think that bonding with our son is really important. And lastly, I also pointed out that I'll be working 99% of the time my mother's out there and my wife will be busy recovering from delivery and we're both going to be feeding our newborn every couple of hours.

My mother repeatedly asked if we weren't comfortable with her being there and if we were worried about her being an overbearing mother-in-law. I reassured her the entire time that that wasn't the case and repeated the reasons I listed in the previous paragraph as many different ways as I could. She looked like she was about to cry when I hung up with her.

I love my mom and I'm glad we're at a good place again, but my mom can be exhausting to spend time with. She's a very emotional person and it doesn't take much to hurt her feelings, but I wonder if I could've handled this situation in a way that was more firm but also kinder to her feelings. Am I the asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Fair_Letterhead478 on 2024-01-08 01:42:01+00:00.

My (16m) brother (19m) was in his room with his boyfriend which is right next to mine. They where drinking (just to excuse him a bit because he normally doesn’t act like this, also this was New Year’s Day to excuse the afternoon drinking)

I think they where watching movies and shit by the sound of it or had them on in the background or whatever, they started singing along to Can you feel the love tonight, which I think you understand the cringe 😬 🤮

So I record it and intend to send it to him at the time just for a laugh but forget about it until I find it in my camera roll today and send it to him, in the same message I call him gay for knowing the full song (we joke like the regularly don’t think I’m homophobic)

He gets REALLY mad at me for recording him and starts having a real go at me for it and being angrier than he really had any right to be.

Like no harm was done? He just has to listen to what I did 😂. I get he’s embarrassed but surely he should be mad at himself for that?