Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/mintcofee on 2024-01-07 17:58:26+00:00.

I (16f) have been extremely confused about my mom’s (almost 50f) recent behavior but today is really making me think I might be in the wrong.

This morning I woke up early. My mom woke up and came In my room and asked me to feed the dogs which I did. After that but before she left She said verbatimish “Hey could you do me a favor, and it’s up to you/you don’t have to if you don’t want to (I can’t remember which but it was one of the two), can you do thease dishes and fold the blankets before your grandmother gets here? I’m going out to do a workout and when I get back it’s going to be a rush.” I said maybe, when she left I did the blankets but the dishes were mainly my sisters(20f)and I hate the fact she is a total slob whenever she is home and never cleans up( leaving me to do it). I decided to go upstairs and enjoy my last morning of break.

When my mom comes in the door she screams “MINTCOFEE get your fucking ass down here right now” she proceeds to berate me and say she failed raising me that I’m a bad daughter and that I should know better because I’m a smart girl and that she’s not going to fail me again I feel like I’m missing a puzzle piece here because she said it was up to me, and I did have the stuff it wasn’t my mess to begin with she was the one who went out to do something for fun and she could’ve stayed home and done it if she wanted to. She goes out to workout all the time. I don’t understand what I did wrong but she’s saying that she’s going to talk to me when she’s ready. She has a history of pulling stuff like this but I’m really starting to think I might be an awful child.

For more context as the kind of person I am I have a 4.0 GPA I work a job. I do my chores at home all the time without complaint I never sneak out do things behind her back. I don’t understand what I’m doing wrong? I feel like I’m missing something. She said it was up to be but she came home like she had told me to do it if she simply said I need this done before I get back and hadn’t phrased it as it’s up to you I would’ve done it, but she didn’t so I don’t understand why she’s mad whenever I ask her she says I’m not ready to get a clue am I the asshole did I do something wrong?

TLDR: I woke up early, and my mom asked me after phrasing that it was up to me, and I didn’t have to to do dishes and fold some blankets. I folded the blankets, but decided not to do the dishes. She came home and yelled at me for not doing them, and said that it was my fault, and that she had failed me as a mother, and that she wouldn’t fail me again, I would’ve done it if she had simply said that she needed it done and didn’t phrase it as a question. She is extremely angry and will talk to me. Asshole for not doing the dishes.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/danaaaban_ on 2024-01-07 17:53:13+00:00.

I (17F) just had my first big fight with my (48M) dad.

Him and I have always been really close and he has always told me how much money he has. He gives me a lot of financial advice. And we share a lot of conversations about money. I promised him I would never tell anyone.

He has always been permissive. I was always the last person in coming back to home when I went out with my friends, he let me do a trip alone and he gave me a lot of money every week.

Three months ago I befriended a group of immigrants. They’re all black, arabic and latinos. My main friend of that group is arabic, and he doesn’t have much money, so I’ve been paying for his things. Today my dad found out that I sold my 100€ camera to give my friend the money. He forced me to show him my conversations with my friend and he discovered that I had told him how much money we own despite I had told him I never did it and I would never do it.

Now my dad says that I totally disappointed him, that we’ll never talk about money again and that I’m “a preppy white girl without street experience who can be easily manipulated”. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/mintcofee on 2024-01-07 17:58:26+00:00.

I (16f) have been extremely confused about my mom’s (almost 50f) recent behavior but today is really making me think I might be in the wrong.

This morning I woke up early. My mom woke up and came In my room and asked me to feed the dogs which I did. After that but before she left She said verbatimish “Hey could you do me a favor, and it’s up to you/you don’t have to if you don’t want to (I can’t remember which but it was one of the two), can you do thease dishes and fold the blankets before your grandmother gets here? I’m going out to do a workout and when I get back it’s going to be a rush.” I said maybe, when she left I did the blankets but the dishes were mainly my sisters(20f)and I hate the fact she is a total slob whenever she is home and never cleans up( leaving me to do it). I decided to go upstairs and enjoy my last morning of break.

When my mom comes in the door she screams “MINTCOFEE get your fucking ass down here right now” she proceeds to berate me and say she failed raising me that I’m a bad daughter and that I should know better because I’m a smart girl and that she’s not going to fail me again I feel like I’m missing a puzzle piece here because she said it was up to me, and I did have the stuff it wasn’t my mess to begin with she was the one who went out to do something for fun and she could’ve stayed home and done it if she wanted to. She goes out to workout all the time. I don’t understand what I did wrong but she’s saying that she’s going to talk to me when she’s ready. She has a history of pulling stuff like this but I’m really starting to think I might be an awful child.

For more context as the kind of person I am I have a 4.0 GPA I work a job. I do my chores at home all the time without complaint I never sneak out do things behind her back. I don’t understand what I’m doing wrong? I feel like I’m missing something. She said it was up to be but she came home like she had told me to do it if she simply said I need this done before I get back and hadn’t phrased it as it’s up to you I would’ve done it, but she didn’t so I don’t understand why she’s mad whenever I ask her she says I’m not ready to get a clue am I the asshole did I do something wrong?

TLDR: I woke up early, and my mom asked me after phrasing that it was up to me, and I didn’t have to to do dishes and fold some blankets. I folded the blankets, but decided not to do the dishes. She came home and yelled at me for not doing them, and said that it was my fault, and that she had failed me as a mother, and that she wouldn’t fail me again, I would’ve done it if she had simply said that she needed it done and didn’t phrase it as a question. She is extremely angry and will talk to me. Asshole for not doing the dishes.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/danaaaban_ on 2024-01-07 17:53:13+00:00.

I (17F) just had my first big fight with my (48M) dad.

Him and I have always been really close and he has always told me how much money he has. He gives me a lot of financial advice. And we share a lot of conversations about money. I promised him I would never tell anyone.

He has always been permissive. I was always the last person in coming back to home when I went out with my friends, he let me do a trip alone and he gave me a lot of money every week.

Three months ago I befriended a group of immigrants. They’re all black, arabic and latinos. My main friend of that group is arabic, and he doesn’t have much money, so I’ve been paying for his things. Today my dad found out that I sold my 100€ camera to give my friend the money. He forced me to show him my conversations with my friend and he discovered that I had told him how much money we own despite I had told him I never did it and I would never do it.

Now my dad says that I totally disappointed him, that we’ll never talk about money again and that I’m “a preppy white girl without street experience who can be easily manipulated”. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/PurposeNearby4121 on 2024-01-07 17:44:14+00:00.

My brother (28M) and I (27F) are both saving for our respective dream trips. He wants to visit the US and I want to visit Italy. I have no interest in going to the US (no hate towards the country, it is just not on my bucket list) but my brother is pressuring me to go with him on his trip because he doesn’t speak English and I do and he doesn’t want to go alone not knowing the language.

This week he told me he plans on using his miles to pay for his plane tickets to the US and I brought it up that he should use it to help me with mine. He said that the miles are his and he shouldn’t have to share since it took him a lot of time to collect that many miles, and they will save him a lot of money.

I get where he is coming from but at the same time, I don't think is fair to expect me to spend a fortune that I was saving for my dream trip to go with him on a trip I don't really want to go to begin with. I think if he wants me there so much he should help me afford it instead of expecting me to make such a sacrifice. I told him all of this and he got upset with me and accused me of trying to take advantage of him. I then told him that if I have to pay for everything on my own I am not going with him and I suggested he could learn English on his own (he plans on going next year so he has plenty of time to learn at least the basics like I am learning Italian right now) and he then called me selfish.

I don't think I am being unreasonable here but considering how mad he was I am having second thoughts. So AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/k1dnm3 on 2024-01-07 17:36:19+00:00.

Greetings all - Long time lurker, first time poster.

This morning, all was well at home and the wife and I were just getting the day started. Coffee is brewing and kid #2, who is on day 2 of having pink eye, is eating breakfast. Kid #1 had a sleepover to help prevent the spread and another sick kid. My wife began disinfecting and airing out the house so we could pick up #1, and I went to the bathroom for my morning 💩.

Upon returning from my glorious purge, about 20 min later, I close the windows thinking we've sufficiently vented the place while the heat is still on on this cold winter day. Wife comes into the room and bristles upon seeing the closed windows and snaps at me that not all the disinfectant has cleared out. I perceive her tone and delivery a bit too aggressive - especially considering the context and the fact we could simply open the windows again - so, I tongue-in-cheek joke that her attitude is just as toxic as the disinfectant. This really revs her engine and she goes into a lecturing frenzy about how insulting the word "toxic" is and is appalled I would call her such a thing. The smartass that I am counters that I a) didn't actually call her any name or insult her, but rather described the way she was coming across, b) wasn't aware "toxic" was on the naughty list of words, and c) her attitude is unwarranted and I would appreciate it if she would take note of the way she's speaking. In response, she doubles-down and continues to be oh so offended I called her toxic. At this point, I understand there's no reasonable/rational conversation to be had, so I try to drop it and go the other way; however, now I'm apparently being disrespectful because I'm not trying to understand her side. Thus, a circular argument about the argument ensues which I generally just don't take seriously and consider a waste of time and energy. Unsurprisingly, the dismissive sentiment and my defensive sarcasm (seriously, it felt like I had just called her a cunt) fuels her rage further and she begins crying and yelling about my disrespect and disregard for her as she heads out to retrieve kid #1 from her sister's. After a brief moment of relief, she proceeds to 'text bomb' me and lecture me how I "don't get to decide how my words make others feel" and "Maybe consider how you could have made me feel instead of how you may have meant for it to come across. Take into consideration other external factors, the way I'm already feeling etc etc.. but really seems like you don't take anything into consideration like that". Apparently, I am able to mindread and contemplate all possible phrasing and word choices within the blink of an eye...

I believe I would understand and accept her response had I actually called her some insult, but "toxic" to me is harmless. Not engaging in petty text squabbling and will wait for her to chill out some and try to have a respectable conversation upon her return, but AITA???

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Fit_Young_5387 on 2024-01-07 15:51:18+00:00.

UPDATE: He thought I was mad, I thought he was mad and we were both just scared of making it worse lol It wasn’t actually an issue and we talked it through

Edit: I know it’s mental, I’m on the waiting list for a therapist.

First of all, I do realize how dumb it sounds, that everyone poops and it shouldn’t be a big deal.

However, I physically can’t poop unless I’m home alone, no matter how much I have to go, it’s like my body won’t let me.

He’s told me multiple times that I can just ask him to go for a walk or whatever, that he’ll find some way to be gone for about 15-20 minutes, but I’ve very rarely done it (maybe 2-3 times over the last year) as I’m very shy about it for some reason and I’ll rather hold it…

I asked him today, but he was very reluctant and kept saying “just go shit” and after I told him 2 times that I can’t when he’s home, I just thought “whatever, I’ll hold it” but then he suddenly left without saying anything (which he never does, he always kisses me goodbye) and didn’t answer my text for almost an hour.

He was gone for like 3-4 hours and was very very dry in the few texts I got and when he got home he didn’t say anything to me. He’s been home for about 2 hours and still hasn’t said anything to me… to be fair, I haven’t said anything to him either, but when people are mad at me (or when I think they are) I’m scared I’ll make it worse if I say or do anything

So am I the asshole? I waited for him to wake up and then waited another 2 hours before asking him and I feel like I only did what he told me to (even though it’s hard for me) but I can also completely understand why it’s annoying to be basically kicked out of your house

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/thelegacy628 on 2024-01-07 12:33:25+00:00.

I (18M) still live with my parents (35F/37M) and sometimes I have friends over because it’s just me and my parents so there’s a lot of space because it’s a nice house and not really anyone bothering us.

My parents go to sleep pretty early so when my friends are over we’re usually in the living room vhilling or playing something well after they have gone to sleep. My mom has a habit of walking around the house in her nightgown when she is about to go to sleep which I don’t see anything wrong in. When my friends are over she doesn’t do it. However, if she has to grab something, get a light snack or some water she’ll still get it in her nightgown.

She has a done it a few times now but last night she did it again and it felt incredibly awkward and I tolder her that I feel like it’s inappropriate of her to wear that around them even if it’s just swiftly. The reason for that being that her nightgowns are pretty short, have a bit of cleavage and show the outlines of the nip. I don’t wanna sound creepy or anything but that’s just the truth.

She didn’t react well and said it’s not inapproiate to quickly be around them and it would be annoying to put on more clothes when grabbing something quickly in her own house. She was pretty mad.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ienjoyeatingpopcorn on 2024-01-07 11:18:50+00:00.

I (16, F) just got out of juvy yesterday. I originally was supposed to serve 6 months, but I ended up serving closer to 7 months ("behavior issues").

I had lost 'visiting privileges' while in jail, meaning I lost the privilege to see anybody trying to visit me. This sucks. This means I was left with letters and phone calls. I really didn't like using the phone, so I really looked forward to getting mail.

For the seven months I was locked up, I received nothing from any of my friends. I was devastated. I was sitting there like how did they all not feel the need to reach out to me? I felt genuinely hurt by this. I had no contact from the outside for my entire sentence. Why the hell can't they write a letter or something? I went from talking to them everyday, to having no contact with them for half a year.

When I was released yesterday, I texted our group chat. I was really angry. Like really really angry. I think it was a mix of the entire situation and the rush of being released, but I was going cray. To sum the text up: I said I was looking forward to hearing from them, I didn't, I called them assholes, I said they didn't care about me, and I said I needed time to think about actually continuing to talk to them in the future. I feel like this was reasonable.

One of the girl said that her mom thought writing to me would've been embarrassing for her and one of the other girls said she was in a similar situation.

They all agreed I was overreacting. They all kind of made the claim that 'my actions' shouldn't force them to go out of there way to 'do me favors'.

Am I the Asshole?

Edit: Gang I don't remember my friends phone number it's not the 80s. That's why i didn't use the phone

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Emotionalfaith4462 on 2024-01-08 03:19:35+00:00.

My husband(34m) and I(25f) are new parents to our 10 week old son. Since our son was 1 week old, my husband has not been home due to him traveling for work on contract. So I am by myself with our son 24/7. I have broken down a good 4-5 times as I feel very alone and overwhelmed with having a newborn by myself while also trying to recover postpartum. My husband expressed once he was home he would allow me a break.

My husband came home for the holidays and I requested for him not to bring any negative energy into the house once he is home as the baby can feel that, especially since my husband has been away for so long that I just want them to have good bonding in his welcoming back. He became angry at me for this.

Fast forward throughout the 2/3 weeks he was home, he barely interacted with our son. He would always be on his phone scrolling through instagram or watching something on YouTube. I gently asked him if he could play and interact with him as this is an important time for them to bond . My husband then accused me of saying that he’s an absent parent. Then if my husband does hold our son, it’s only for 5 minutes and then he’ll say “here, go back to your mother” and hand him back off to me. If our son cries, then he yells at him to stop and that there’s nothing wrong with him, that I’ve just spoiled him and he’s going to break him from that. He never makes our son’s bottles or changes his diapers nor does any of the baby’s laundry or get up with him during the night. Yet, if I’m doing it then he’s criticizing me and telling me that I’m doing it wrong or I’m not doing enough. Keep in mind, I have the baby all day and night. I only eat once a day and I’m usually a good 2 days between showers.

Yesterday, I decided I really needed to pamper myself somehow. Prior to pregnancy I loved painting my nails so I thought I would try it again last night. My husband had been in the bathroom for 45 minutes, so I fed our son and strapped him in the baby wrap on me as he fell asleep. I sat in an open area in our home and by the patio door for airflow to come in and I paired my nails using organic products. Any of the products that had a strong smell, I used it quickly and discarded of it. I was completed with my nails at max 25 minutes and my husband comes out of the bathroom stating I am endangering our son and that I’m a selfish mother. He then tries to take our son off of me and I expressed to him that he’s sleeping and I don’t want to wake him as he’s been not feeling well all day. My husband then accuses me of trying to keep his child away from him and that he doesn’t know what’s gotten into me.

I guess I just hit a breaking point in frustration, tiredness, and anxiety that I told my husband to go f himself. I know it was quite extreme and I shouldn’t have said it. I’m just at my wits end of feeling like I’m the only parent and then getting scolded for trying to have something that I do for myself.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/throwaway_ring2024 on 2024-01-08 01:58:55+00:00.

I (40M) have been married to my wife (35M) for 10 years. It's been amazing and after two kids and loads of adventure, I still love her as much as I did when I got married to her. However, we had a silly argument yesterday, and I wanted opinions on who is right.

For context, when we got married, we both had good jobs, but we both come from lower-middle-class backgrounds. I have always been very careful with money and investing everything for the future as I have seen the days when we had very little. My wife on the other hand worked very hard growing up and wants to enjoy the luxuries of life. For the most part, I have been very thankful for that, as we would have never taken so many great trips or bought a beautiful house if she had not pushed me. When we got married, I did not know people spent so much on engagement rings. I thought I wanted to spend around 3K on a ring, but she wanted a specific ring, and we ended up spending around 10K. I felt that it was excessive at that time, but it made her very happy and was worth it as she wears it every day. I also love the ring as I feel proud I was able to do something nice for her that made her feel happy.

When I asked her what she wanted for our 10th marriage anniversary, she told me she wanted to upgrade her engagement ring. I have never heard of this before and find it weird. The ring symbolizes something to me, and should not be just a piece of jewelry. The ring was supposed to symbolize that I wanted to be committed to her for the rest of my life. I don't see why we need to get a new ring.

She already has a ring in mind and it costs upwards of 40K. Now, we are debt-free, and can easily afford it. I asked her if she wanted to buy something else instead. However, she is adamant that she wants a new ring and thinks I am an AH for not letting her get it. I feel like the old ring has sentimental value to me and she should wear that. She feels it's a piece of jewelry that she wears every day, so wants a new one. Do you think I am in the wrong here, and if upgrading an engagement ring is a thing a lot of people do?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Fancy-Point3201 on 2024-01-08 01:12:29+00:00.

I 26 F have been with my fiancé Ted 25M for 2 years. He surprised me with a proposal in the last day of our holiday together and I said yes. He got me a gold ring with a big diamond and a halo around it. I love him and do want to marry him, but I saw the ring was gold and I wear silver jewellery.

I have put off wearing it as I work with my hands at my job so can’t wear jewellery then, but Ted asked me why I don’t really wear the ring and I told him it wasn’t really my style. The ring is very obviously expensive and gaudy IMO but it has stones from his grandma’s engagement ring and a family heirloom so I didn’t want to upset him. I love that he wanted to include that in the ring but a bit disappointed that he designed this ring with me in mind but it’s not something I’d wear and I feel he doesn’t really know me as well as I thought he did.

He kept pressing on why I wouldn’t wear the ring so I snapped and said it’s gaudy and not my taste. He is now upset with me but I am not sure if I was too harsh but I probably could have framed it in a nicer way.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Emotionalfaith4462 on 2024-01-08 03:19:35+00:00.

My husband(34m) and I(25f) are new parents to our 10 week old son. Since our son was 1 week old, my husband has not been home due to him traveling for work on contract. So I am by myself with our son 24/7. I have broken down a good 4-5 times as I feel very alone and overwhelmed with having a newborn by myself while also trying to recover postpartum. My husband expressed once he was home he would allow me a break.

My husband came home for the holidays and I requested for him not to bring any negative energy into the house once he is home as the baby can feel that, especially since my husband has been away for so long that I just want them to have good bonding in his welcoming back. He became angry at me for this.

Fast forward throughout the 2/3 weeks he was home, he barely interacted with our son. He would always be on his phone scrolling through instagram or watching something on YouTube. I gently asked him if he could play and interact with him as this is an important time for them to bond . My husband then accused me of saying that he’s an absent parent. Then if my husband does hold our son, it’s only for 5 minutes and then he’ll say “here, go back to your mother” and hand him back off to me. If our son cries, then he yells at him to stop and that there’s nothing wrong with him, that I’ve just spoiled him and he’s going to break him from that. He never makes our son’s bottles or changes his diapers nor does any of the baby’s laundry or get up with him during the night. Yet, if I’m doing it then he’s criticizing me and telling me that I’m doing it wrong or I’m not doing enough. Keep in mind, I have the baby all day and night. I only eat once a day and I’m usually a good 2 days between showers.

Yesterday, I decided I really needed to pamper myself somehow. Prior to pregnancy I loved painting my nails so I thought I would try it again last night. My husband had been in the bathroom for 45 minutes, so I fed our son and strapped him in the baby wrap on me as he fell asleep. I sat in an open area in our home and by the patio door for airflow to come in and I paired my nails using organic products. Any of the products that had a strong smell, I used it quickly and discarded of it. I was completed with my nails at max 25 minutes and my husband comes out of the bathroom stating I am endangering our son and that I’m a selfish mother. He then tries to take our son off of me and I expressed to him that he’s sleeping and I don’t want to wake him as he’s been not feeling well all day. My husband then accuses me of trying to keep his child away from him and that he doesn’t know what’s gotten into me.

I guess I just hit a breaking point in frustration, tiredness, and anxiety that I told my husband to go f himself. I know it was quite extreme and I shouldn’t have said it. I’m just at my wits end of feeling like I’m the only parent and then getting scolded for trying to have something that I do for myself.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/throwaway_ring2024 on 2024-01-08 01:58:55+00:00.

I (40M) have been married to my wife (35M) for 10 years. It's been amazing and after two kids and loads of adventure, I still love her as much as I did when I got married to her. However, we had a silly argument yesterday, and I wanted opinions on who is right.

For context, when we got married, we both had good jobs, but we both come from lower-middle-class backgrounds. I have always been very careful with money and investing everything for the future as I have seen the days when we had very little. My wife on the other hand worked very hard growing up and wants to enjoy the luxuries of life. For the most part, I have been very thankful for that, as we would have never taken so many great trips or bought a beautiful house if she had not pushed me. When we got married, I did not know people spent so much on engagement rings. I thought I wanted to spend around 3K on a ring, but she wanted a specific ring, and we ended up spending around 10K. I felt that it was excessive at that time, but it made her very happy and was worth it as she wears it every day. I also love the ring as I feel proud I was able to do something nice for her that made her feel happy.

When I asked her what she wanted for our 10th marriage anniversary, she told me she wanted to upgrade her engagement ring. I have never heard of this before and find it weird. The ring symbolizes something to me, and should not be just a piece of jewelry. The ring was supposed to symbolize that I wanted to be committed to her for the rest of my life. I don't see why we need to get a new ring.

She already has a ring in mind and it costs upwards of 40K. Now, we are debt-free, and can easily afford it. I asked her if she wanted to buy something else instead. However, she is adamant that she wants a new ring and thinks I am an AH for not letting her get it. I feel like the old ring has sentimental value to me and she should wear that. She feels it's a piece of jewelry that she wears every day, so wants a new one. Do you think I am in the wrong here, and if upgrading an engagement ring is a thing a lot of people do?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Fancy-Point3201 on 2024-01-08 01:12:29+00:00.

I 26 F have been with my fiancé Ted 25M for 2 years. He surprised me with a proposal in the last day of our holiday together and I said yes. He got me a gold ring with a big diamond and a halo around it. I love him and do want to marry him, but I saw the ring was gold and I wear silver jewellery.

I have put off wearing it as I work with my hands at my job so can’t wear jewellery then, but Ted asked me why I don’t really wear the ring and I told him it wasn’t really my style. The ring is very obviously expensive and gaudy IMO but it has stones from his grandma’s engagement ring and a family heirloom so I didn’t want to upset him. I love that he wanted to include that in the ring but a bit disappointed that he designed this ring with me in mind but it’s not something I’d wear and I feel he doesn’t really know me as well as I thought he did.

He kept pressing on why I wouldn’t wear the ring so I snapped and said it’s gaudy and not my taste. He is now upset with me but I am not sure if I was too harsh but I probably could have framed it in a nicer way.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/throwaway34578891 on 2024-01-07 23:41:01+00:00.

Original Title: AITA for not paying attention to the kids at my niece's(4) birthday party when the other adults left the room without making me aware that I'll be alone with the 7 kids, which resulted in an injured kid?

I (35f) love kids, always worked in child care jobs. During gatherings of friends or family I somehow always ended up in the kids room, helping the birthday boy and his friends assemble the new Playmobil fortress (because he asked me for help) or something like that. While the other adults eat cake around a table. Nothing wrong with them. I just always wonder how I got myself sitting on the floor surrounded by tiny humans.

But lately my health took a nosedive. Burnout and other stuff. I'm no longer good with noise and crowds or focus. I'm on disability because I can't work. My family knows this.

When my niece had her birthday I was invited but I had a really, really bad day. I knew their apartment would be too crowded and noisy for me during the party, so I told my brother I had to cancel and come the day after. Discussing the reason, my brother convinced me to still come over for a little while, eat some cake and hug the birthday girl "to show up and not disappoint her". I made my limitations clear, that I can't help and that I might zone out. He said it'd be no problem.

When I came over, I sang happy birthday with them all, gave my niece her birthday hug and gift and sat myself in the living room with them, eating cake. The kids were playing, I didn't know the guest parents, it was as overwhelming as I suspected, so I stuck to my piece of cake and zoned out a little.

I don't know how much time had past, but the next thing I knew was that there was a scream from my niece and when I looked up, there were no more adults around, my niece had fallen down from a bar stool she had climbed and had a bloody knee (nothing more serious, luckly). When I got to her the other adults rushed in from the balcony a room over. My niece got checked over, got a bandaid and was already playing again 5 min after. But my brother asked me what happend and why I didn't prevent her from climbing. And when I told him I zoned out, he got angry and blamed me for her accident.

It's a few days later now and I got several messages and calls from family, how irresponsible and asshole-y I am because I was not paying attention to the kids. I thought it wasn't my fault, because I wasn't made aware that I was the only adult left in the room. But I'm beginning to doubt my point of view. Am I the asshole here?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/throwaway34578891 on 2024-01-07 23:41:01+00:00.

Original Title: AITA for not paying attention to the kids at my niece's(4) birthday party when the other adults left the room without making me aware that I'll be alone with the 7 kids, which resulted in an injured kid?

I (35f) love kids, always worked in child care jobs. During gatherings of friends or family I somehow always ended up in the kids room, helping the birthday boy and his friends assemble the new Playmobil fortress (because he asked me for help) or something like that. While the other adults eat cake around a table. Nothing wrong with them. I just always wonder how I got myself sitting on the floor surrounded by tiny humans.

But lately my health took a nosedive. Burnout and other stuff. I'm no longer good with noise and crowds or focus. I'm on disability because I can't work. My family knows this.

When my niece had her birthday I was invited but I had a really, really bad day. I knew their apartment would be too crowded and noisy for me during the party, so I told my brother I had to cancel and come the day after. Discussing the reason, my brother convinced me to still come over for a little while, eat some cake and hug the birthday girl "to show up and not disappoint her". I made my limitations clear, that I can't help and that I might zone out. He said it'd be no problem.

When I came over, I sang happy birthday with them all, gave my niece her birthday hug and gift and sat myself in the living room with them, eating cake. The kids were playing, I didn't know the guest parents, it was as overwhelming as I suspected, so I stuck to my piece of cake and zoned out a little.

I don't know how much time had past, but the next thing I knew was that there was a scream from my niece and when I looked up, there were no more adults around, my niece had fallen down from a bar stool she had climbed and had a bloody knee (nothing more serious, luckly). When I got to her the other adults rushed in from the balcony a room over. My niece got checked over, got a bandaid and was already playing again 5 min after. But my brother asked me what happend and why I didn't prevent her from climbing. And when I told him I zoned out, he got angry and blamed me for her accident.

It's a few days later now and I got several messages and calls from family, how irresponsible and asshole-y I am because I was not paying attention to the kids. I thought it wasn't my fault, because I wasn't made aware that I was the only adult left in the room. But I'm beginning to doubt my point of view. Am I the asshole here?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Bronzed_Goddess_ on 2024-01-07 23:33:12+00:00.

Hi, a little background. I, 29F, officially left my home and marriage in June 2023. My ex, 36M, is refusing to settle on divorce and insisting on going to court. He claims he needs “answers” bc it just doesn’t makes sense to him that I would “split up our family” then try to work it out with him.

We married in 2016… I was young and already a single mom to a daughter I had fresh out of high school. Her bio dad wasn’t around and I thought I was doing right by her to marry the first man who showed real interest in me. There were so many red flags that I knew I didn’t like about him but I ignored them and settled, bc again… I just wanted to give my girl a family.

Throughout our marriage I grew unhappier and unhappier… I started drifting away, and knew I had to ask for a divorce before I let myself get to a point where I cheat, or do something that I would truly regret…

Fast forward to now we have been separated for over six months and have agreed to do 50-50 shared custody throughout this… He gets our youngest two children for a week, and then I get our youngest two children for a week, and my oldest stays with me full-time. When the Littles come back to me after being with him, I have noticed that they start saying things to me that just doesn’t make sense for a 3yo and 6yo to just come up with… It really felt like he was coaching him to say things just to come back and tell me… And also manipulating them to believe certain things that was a certain way when it wasn’t. He would also have them ask me questions like when is Mommy coming back home, is Daddy still Mommy’s boyfriend, and even making comments like Jesus doesn’t want Mommy and Daddy to have two houses.

This is seems so unfair to me, because he is making it seem like I am doing something wrong by them just for searching for my own happiness… I feel like he’s manipulating them and using them as weapons against me, so I have expressed this to my lawyer, and they believe that it is in our children’s best interest to get a guardian at Leitem attorney for our children …

His lawyer denied that, but I still have pressed for it and we have court in just a couple weeks… so AITAH?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Bronzed_Goddess_ on 2024-01-07 23:33:12+00:00.

Hi, a little background. I, 29F, officially left my home and marriage in June 2023. My ex, 36M, is refusing to settle on divorce and insisting on going to court. He claims he needs “answers” bc it just doesn’t makes sense to him that I would “split up our family” then try to work it out with him.

We married in 2016… I was young and already a single mom to a daughter I had fresh out of high school. Her bio dad wasn’t around and I thought I was doing right by her to marry the first man who showed real interest in me. There were so many red flags that I knew I didn’t like about him but I ignored them and settled, bc again… I just wanted to give my girl a family.

Throughout our marriage I grew unhappier and unhappier… I started drifting away, and knew I had to ask for a divorce before I let myself get to a point where I cheat, or do something that I would truly regret…

Fast forward to now we have been separated for over six months and have agreed to do 50-50 shared custody throughout this… He gets our youngest two children for a week, and then I get our youngest two children for a week, and my oldest stays with me full-time. When the Littles come back to me after being with him, I have noticed that they start saying things to me that just doesn’t make sense for a 3yo and 6yo to just come up with… It really felt like he was coaching him to say things just to come back and tell me… And also manipulating them to believe certain things that was a certain way when it wasn’t. He would also have them ask me questions like when is Mommy coming back home, is Daddy still Mommy’s boyfriend, and even making comments like Jesus doesn’t want Mommy and Daddy to have two houses.

This is seems so unfair to me, because he is making it seem like I am doing something wrong by them just for searching for my own happiness… I feel like he’s manipulating them and using them as weapons against me, so I have expressed this to my lawyer, and they believe that it is in our children’s best interest to get a guardian at Leitem attorney for our children …

His lawyer denied that, but I still have pressed for it and we have court in just a couple weeks… so AITAH?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Major-Choice-4204 on 2024-01-07 22:54:19+00:00.

Sadly, I had to go to a funeral in November. I remarked at the time that I really should get a black tie sometime. Then on Christmas morning I unwrapped my present and yep my wife bought me a black tie... I have to be honest it made me sad to think about funerals on Christmas morning but hey. I bought her perfume, a necklace and a nice jacket I knew she liked. Today I mentioned that it made me sad and now she's really huffing with me like crazy, really upset at my ungratefulness.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Major-Choice-4204 on 2024-01-07 22:54:19+00:00.

Sadly, I had to go to a funeral in November. I remarked at the time that I really should get a black tie sometime. Then on Christmas morning I unwrapped my present and yep my wife bought me a black tie... I have to be honest it made me sad to think about funerals on Christmas morning but hey. I bought her perfume, a necklace and a nice jacket I knew she liked. Today I mentioned that it made me sad and now she's really huffing with me like crazy, really upset at my ungratefulness.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/GoHomeSir on 2024-01-07 22:53:43+00:00.

I live in a relatively dense residential neighborhood of a large city. There is no assigned street parking on my street -- if you can find a spot to park, you can park there.

Because the space between houses is minimal, the street parking between my driveway and my next door neighbor's driveway can accommodate either one or two vehicles, depending on the size of vehicle parked there. Often, I will see just a single vehicle in the middle. This seems to frustrate one of my neighbors, because it leaves a possible parking spot on a busy street inaccessible.

If this said neighbor, with whom I have never spoken to, sees a parking spot near my driveway available, she will park her large SUV such that the front tire is at my driveway line, completely leaving her front bumper blocking my driveway. It could be because she is trying not to be "that person" taking up two street parking spots when parking is already scarce, but I don't know for sure. But, when she chooses to park in this spot, she parks like this CONSTANTLY, even if the space behind her is available. I should clarify that I often see her car parked a few houses east, leading me to believe she lives a few houses away. But since I have never spoken to this lady, I have no idea which house exactly. I have only ever seen her getting into and out of the car.

While I can still get my car out when blocked like this, it's more challenging and dangerous, given that a large SUV is now obstructing my view of oncoming traffic to a relatively busy residential street.

I've been giving her the benefit of the doubt for a few months, hoping maybe she will realize she's parked improperly upon returning to her vehicle and be more considerate next time. But nothing has changed. On one particularly poor parking day (as in worse than most days), I got fed up and called the city telling them a car had been parked blocking my driveway. I gave them a location and they said they would try to investigate.

A few hours later, I look out the window to see they have a brand new parking ticket on their windshield.

I don't know if it will change anything, but I do feel a bit petty for taking this kind of action rather than trying to work it out in person (or at least through a note left on the windshield). So AITA?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/GoHomeSir on 2024-01-07 22:53:43+00:00.

I live in a relatively dense residential neighborhood of a large city. There is no assigned street parking on my street -- if you can find a spot to park, you can park there.

Because the space between houses is minimal, the street parking between my driveway and my next door neighbor's driveway can accommodate either one or two vehicles, depending on the size of vehicle parked there. Often, I will see just a single vehicle in the middle. This seems to frustrate one of my neighbors, because it leaves a possible parking spot on a busy street inaccessible.

If this said neighbor, with whom I have never spoken to, sees a parking spot near my driveway available, she will park her large SUV such that the front tire is at my driveway line, completely leaving her front bumper blocking my driveway. It could be because she is trying not to be "that person" taking up two street parking spots when parking is already scarce, but I don't know for sure. But, when she chooses to park in this spot, she parks like this CONSTANTLY, even if the space behind her is available. I should clarify that I often see her car parked a few houses east, leading me to believe she lives a few houses away. But since I have never spoken to this lady, I have no idea which house exactly. I have only ever seen her getting into and out of the car.

While I can still get my car out when blocked like this, it's more challenging and dangerous, given that a large SUV is now obstructing my view of oncoming traffic to a relatively busy residential street.

I've been giving her the benefit of the doubt for a few months, hoping maybe she will realize she's parked improperly upon returning to her vehicle and be more considerate next time. But nothing has changed. On one particularly poor parking day (as in worse than most days), I got fed up and called the city telling them a car had been parked blocking my driveway. I gave them a location and they said they would try to investigate.

A few hours later, I look out the window to see they have a brand new parking ticket on their windshield.

I don't know if it will change anything, but I do feel a bit petty for taking this kind of action rather than trying to work it out in person (or at least through a note left on the windshield). So AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Loud-Direction7288 on 2024-01-07 22:11:21+00:00.

Background is that my wife's dad is turning 80, and we are going on vacation with them for almost 2 weeks. My own father is turning 70 and my parents were planning on going to the same country to vacation earlier during the same month, but I suggested they go the same time, so we could all see each other. My parents will join for 4 days, and then do they our own thing in a different part of the same country. Our parents have met before, and they get along. We all live in different countries, and we see her parents a lot more than mine. We also are not wealthy, and this will likely be our only vacation this year. My wife is saying it's weird that my parents would join "a family vacation", and I've been saying it's sensible and not weird, as we are all family. AITA here?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Loud-Direction7288 on 2024-01-07 22:11:21+00:00.

Background is that my wife's dad is turning 80, and we are going on vacation with them for almost 2 weeks. My own father is turning 70 and my parents were planning on going to the same country to vacation earlier during the same month, but I suggested they go the same time, so we could all see each other. My parents will join for 4 days, and then do they our own thing in a different part of the same country. Our parents have met before, and they get along. We all live in different countries, and we see her parents a lot more than mine. We also are not wealthy, and this will likely be our only vacation this year. My wife is saying it's weird that my parents would join "a family vacation", and I've been saying it's sensible and not weird, as we are all family. AITA here?