Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Upset_Sunset on 2024-01-07 22:11:06+00:00.

Recently my family was sitting in the living room discussing plans for my mother and her new partner’s wedding. The wedding will not be any time soon as they are not yet engaged and are in poor financial condition. Still, they are both dreamers and like to talk about and make plans for things far into the future. Everything was going fine and the conversation was very pleasant. We discussed the typical things like what kind of flowers they would like, what season the wedding would be held in, and so on. Then we got to the topic of attire. My mother made it very clear that she would like her bridesmaids to wear short dresses with floral designs. She immediately looked towards me as she knew I would be against wearing a dress for multiple personal reasons. At first I thought she was going to say that of course I wouldn’t have to wear one and that we would find a matching alternative but she just kept staring. So I spoke up and said “I don’t want to wear a dress.” She went on to say how it was her dream wedding and that I would essentially ruin the vision. I listed off multiple alternatives such as a pantsuit, tuxedo, anything but a dress. I want to make it clear that I am willing to wear any color, pattern, design, etc, just not something that opens at the bottom like a dress or skirt. My mom’s happiness and her wedding are very important to me but I cannot shift my boundaries on this. My sister says that I’m stubborn and selfish. She says I should have no problem just wearing a dress for a few hours but I do. My family knows why I have this boundary and I thought they would be more understanding. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Upset_Sunset on 2024-01-07 22:11:06+00:00.

Recently my family was sitting in the living room discussing plans for my mother and her new partner’s wedding. The wedding will not be any time soon as they are not yet engaged and are in poor financial condition. Still, they are both dreamers and like to talk about and make plans for things far into the future. Everything was going fine and the conversation was very pleasant. We discussed the typical things like what kind of flowers they would like, what season the wedding would be held in, and so on. Then we got to the topic of attire. My mother made it very clear that she would like her bridesmaids to wear short dresses with floral designs. She immediately looked towards me as she knew I would be against wearing a dress for multiple personal reasons. At first I thought she was going to say that of course I wouldn’t have to wear one and that we would find a matching alternative but she just kept staring. So I spoke up and said “I don’t want to wear a dress.” She went on to say how it was her dream wedding and that I would essentially ruin the vision. I listed off multiple alternatives such as a pantsuit, tuxedo, anything but a dress. I want to make it clear that I am willing to wear any color, pattern, design, etc, just not something that opens at the bottom like a dress or skirt. My mom’s happiness and her wedding are very important to me but I cannot shift my boundaries on this. My sister says that I’m stubborn and selfish. She says I should have no problem just wearing a dress for a few hours but I do. My family knows why I have this boundary and I thought they would be more understanding. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/lakehouse5548 on 2024-01-07 22:02:35+00:00.

10 years ago, my fiancé left me (38m) a few weeks before our wedding. We grew up in a small town. We were friendly, went to the same school, but we never were in the same clique. She was one of the popular kids and I wasn’t.

A few years after college, I moved back home when my dad got sick. I found a job in my field about 45 minutes away from home. I would help take my dad to his chemo appointments. It was during one of those appointments I ran into EX. She was now a worked at the hospital. One day while waiting, I asked her out.

It turned out we shared a lot of the same interests. It seemed like our relationship was going great. About a year or so into dating EX and I moved into a rented house together. The following year, I proposed. We began looking for a house. EX always wanted to live in her grandparents’ house on the lake near our town. Her family was forced to sell house when her grandparents died because of an inheritance dispute. 6 months before our wedding, a chance event happened. The couple who bought her grandparents lake house had grown tired of our snowy winters. It took some work and nearly all of my savings, but I was able to buy her dream house. It was going to be my surprise wedding present so I didn’t dare tell her or anyone in her family my plans.

A month before our wedding, EX and her friends went to Miami for her bachelorette party. I am not sure all of what happened there, part of me doesn’t really want to know, but I do know her high school BF was there. When she got back, from the trip, she broke down and confessed she was afraid to get married and wanted to call it off. It was a mess. She later moved to Florida and eventually married HS BF.

I ended up moving back to the city for an amazing job. In the meantime, I still had the lake house. With the help of my mom and dad, we started to fix up the lake house. It took a few years. My mom and dad would look after the contractors while I was in the city. Having the house was perfect when the everything locked down. I was able to escape the city and work remotely from the lake house. I now live here full time and work remotely.

This summer we had 4th of July at the Lake House. My SIL used photos from the lake this summer in her Christmas card. One of those cards made it to EX’s cousin. The cousin recognized the house. The Saturday before new year’s EX’s Mother and Sister were at my front door. After pleasantries and answering their initial questions, they made an offer to buy it. I refused. They were not happy.

A few days I got a long txt from EX. This was the first time in about 9 years she has talked with me. She called me an ass for keeping this from her. Her family is blaming her for losing the house again. She then asked me sell. I still have no intention to sell. Now her and her family are complaining on social media that this is some sort of revenge. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/lakehouse5548 on 2024-01-07 22:02:35+00:00.

10 years ago, my fiancé left me (38m) a few weeks before our wedding. We grew up in a small town. We were friendly, went to the same school, but we never were in the same clique. She was one of the popular kids and I wasn’t.

A few years after college, I moved back home when my dad got sick. I found a job in my field about 45 minutes away from home. I would help take my dad to his chemo appointments. It was during one of those appointments I ran into EX. She was now a worked at the hospital. One day while waiting, I asked her out.

It turned out we shared a lot of the same interests. It seemed like our relationship was going great. About a year or so into dating EX and I moved into a rented house together. The following year, I proposed. We began looking for a house. EX always wanted to live in her grandparents’ house on the lake near our town. Her family was forced to sell house when her grandparents died because of an inheritance dispute. 6 months before our wedding, a chance event happened. The couple who bought her grandparents lake house had grown tired of our snowy winters. It took some work and nearly all of my savings, but I was able to buy her dream house. It was going to be my surprise wedding present so I didn’t dare tell her or anyone in her family my plans.

A month before our wedding, EX and her friends went to Miami for her bachelorette party. I am not sure all of what happened there, part of me doesn’t really want to know, but I do know her high school BF was there. When she got back, from the trip, she broke down and confessed she was afraid to get married and wanted to call it off. It was a mess. She later moved to Florida and eventually married HS BF.

I ended up moving back to the city for an amazing job. In the meantime, I still had the lake house. With the help of my mom and dad, we started to fix up the lake house. It took a few years. My mom and dad would look after the contractors while I was in the city. Having the house was perfect when the everything locked down. I was able to escape the city and work remotely from the lake house. I now live here full time and work remotely.

This summer we had 4th of July at the Lake House. My SIL used photos from the lake this summer in her Christmas card. One of those cards made it to EX’s cousin. The cousin recognized the house. The Saturday before new year’s EX’s Mother and Sister were at my front door. After pleasantries and answering their initial questions, they made an offer to buy it. I refused. They were not happy.

A few days I got a long txt from EX. This was the first time in about 9 years she has talked with me. She called me an ass for keeping this from her. Her family is blaming her for losing the house again. She then asked me sell. I still have no intention to sell. Now her and her family are complaining on social media that this is some sort of revenge. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/playdatesnacks on 2024-01-07 18:28:48+00:00.

I have an 11 year old daughter, Ellie. She has a best friend, Sophie, (12). Both of the girls have special needs and are around 6 years old mentally.

Sophies mom called me yesterday, said that they were at an indoor playground, and Sophie wanted to know if Ellie could come and play. Sophies mom offered to put me on her punch card (she prepays for 10-20 visits at a time because it’s cheaper) so it would be free for me so I got Ellie in the car and we met them at the playground.

After about an hour of playing, the girls started to get hungry. I packed a snack for Ellie but Sophie’s mom didn’t have any snacks on her. I told her they sell snacks in the front but she claimed that she didn’t have any money on her and asked me to buy Sophie some goldfish. I said sure, Venmo me and I’ll grab some.

I said no, I took care of my kid and it’s not my job to take care of hers too. She says she paid for my kid to get in so I could cover the $2 for the goldfish. I told her if she wanted me to bring snacks she should’ve told me when she invited me but I won’t be wasting $2 for a $.50 bag of goldfish because she was unprepared. She went up to the front and I don’t know if she lied about not having money but she came back with goldfish and fruit snacks. Now she’s being petty by asking me to pay her back for all of the times we’ve used their memberships and guest passes so we’re not getting along.

I’m going to have to see her at school drop off/pickup, ballet class, gymnastics class, and the girls weekly play dates so I wanted to know if I was the asshole for not buying her kid a snack.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/playdatesnacks on 2024-01-07 18:28:48+00:00.

I have an 11 year old daughter, Ellie. She has a best friend, Sophie, (12). Both of the girls have special needs and are around 6 years old mentally.

Sophies mom called me yesterday, said that they were at an indoor playground, and Sophie wanted to know if Ellie could come and play. Sophies mom offered to put me on her punch card (she prepays for 10-20 visits at a time because it’s cheaper) so it would be free for me so I got Ellie in the car and we met them at the playground.

After about an hour of playing, the girls started to get hungry. I packed a snack for Ellie but Sophie’s mom didn’t have any snacks on her. I told her they sell snacks in the front but she claimed that she didn’t have any money on her and asked me to buy Sophie some goldfish. I said sure, Venmo me and I’ll grab some.

I said no, I took care of my kid and it’s not my job to take care of hers too. She says she paid for my kid to get in so I could cover the $2 for the goldfish. I told her if she wanted me to bring snacks she should’ve told me when she invited me but I won’t be wasting $2 for a $.50 bag of goldfish because she was unprepared. She went up to the front and I don’t know if she lied about not having money but she came back with goldfish and fruit snacks. Now she’s being petty by asking me to pay her back for all of the times we’ve used their memberships and guest passes so we’re not getting along.

I’m going to have to see her at school drop off/pickup, ballet class, gymnastics class, and the girls weekly play dates so I wanted to know if I was the asshole for not buying her kid a snack.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Otherwise-Inside-566 on 2024-01-07 17:54:48+00:00.

My husbands family is pretty religious and since we had our baby they’ve been on us (mostly since my husbands at work when they call usually) to baptise him. My husband just kinda changed the subject or is vague with his answer. I’ve told them no but because of the way my husband is handling it I don’t wanna start a fight with his family. I just ended up telling them our baby was baptised to shut them up. They live far away and know we’re not church goers normally so it’s not a hard lie to keep. My husband is very upset with me for making him lie.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Otherwise-Inside-566 on 2024-01-07 17:54:48+00:00.

My husbands family is pretty religious and since we had our baby they’ve been on us (mostly since my husbands at work when they call usually) to baptise him. My husband just kinda changed the subject or is vague with his answer. I’ve told them no but because of the way my husband is handling it I don’t wanna start a fight with his family. I just ended up telling them our baby was baptised to shut them up. They live far away and know we’re not church goers normally so it’s not a hard lie to keep. My husband is very upset with me for making him lie.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/SeaEntrepreneur5402 on 2024-01-07 17:43:50+00:00.

I have 3 kids, F29 who is a doctor, F28 who is a lawyer and F10.

My youngest wasn't planned and I was really worried that the older kids wouldn't have a good relationship with her because of their age difference but I was wrong. They adore her.

They spoil her as much as they can. If she ever wants or needs something all she has to do is ask one of her sisters and a few days later she will receive it. Our financial situation is bad and the older kids had a difficult childhood and they want to make sure their sister doesn't have to go through the same thing.

Of course she likes to brag to everyone and show everyone what her sisters bought for her which often makes her cousins jealous.

For Christmas they showered her with gifts. It was insane because we have a very small living room and it was filled with gifts. I posted a picture of her in the middle of all her presents and wrote "when your sisters are a doctor and a lawyer lol. Lucky girl"

Now some of my family members are mad at me and asking me to tone it down because their kids are jealous especially because my older kids don't show any interest in their cousins and didn't buy anything for them. I told them that this is hardly my problem and they called me an asshole

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/SeaEntrepreneur5402 on 2024-01-07 17:43:50+00:00.

I have 3 kids, F29 who is a doctor, F28 who is a lawyer and F10.

My youngest wasn't planned and I was really worried that the older kids wouldn't have a good relationship with her because of their age difference but I was wrong. They adore her.

They spoil her as much as they can. If she ever wants or needs something all she has to do is ask one of her sisters and a few days later she will receive it. Our financial situation is bad and the older kids had a difficult childhood and they want to make sure their sister doesn't have to go through the same thing.

Of course she likes to brag to everyone and show everyone what her sisters bought for her which often makes her cousins jealous.

For Christmas they showered her with gifts. It was insane because we have a very small living room and it was filled with gifts. I posted a picture of her in the middle of all her presents and wrote "when your sisters are a doctor and a lawyer lol. Lucky girl"

Now some of my family members are mad at me and asking me to tone it down because their kids are jealous especially because my older kids don't show any interest in their cousins and didn't buy anything for them. I told them that this is hardly my problem and they called me an asshole

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Proud_Ebb5720 on 2024-01-07 16:28:05+00:00.

My sister (14f) and I (16m) are part of a blended family. We lost our dad 7 years ago and our mom remarried 5 years ago. We now have three stepsisters who are 10, 8 and 7. They have different moms and their dad has custody of them so they live in the same house as us 100% of the time. We also have a half brother and mom is pregnant with another girl.

My sister and I see our dad's family still. More now that we are older because we have told mom we want more time with them and have put our foot down on getting more access, because initially after marrying her husband she limited our time with them to a couple of times a year.

There was a big deal made out of the fact my dad's side of the family do not have a relationship with our step or half siblings and never buy gifts for them or send family gifts home for us when my sister and I see them.

Lately, like the last 12 months, mom has been on our case about trying to bridge the gap between our dad's side and the rest of the family. She said their lack of extended family is a problem and we should try to open up our paternal side's hearts to welcoming more people into the family and that it would make us heroes in the eyes of the other kids.

Mom actually became estranged from her parents because they refused to have anything to do with my stepsisters and said they were not family and would not be treated like they are part of their family. Mom hates them for that. I find it kind of funny because even when dad was alive she rejected any chance from our dad's side to get close to them. She never really liked them and turned down so many invites from them and then she bitched when they sent her money after dad died to help her out with us and made a huge deal out of them bringing us for fun days out in the weeks after dad died to help us get out of our heads. She said they overstepped even though they had permission to take us places. So to know mom was all bent out of shape about her family, and I get that my stepsisters are kids and all, but mom was basically like that with our cousins who were also kids. So we don't see mom's parents anymore. But my sister and I can contact them.

My sister and I saw our family the 24th of December and the 26th. 24th was family Christmas. 26th was a bit of a trip to a special place. Mom was really pissed that we went and didn't try to include the other kids. All Christmas Day she was shaming us saying we were being selfish and the days after she was doing the same. We told her to stop. My sister said she shouldn't talk to us that way. Mom was saying how crappy we were being and how we should be doing better. I got so annoyed that I called up her parents and told them on new years day what she had been saying... and then they called to chew her out which pissed her off because she didn't want to hear from them. She said I had no right to do that. I told her she shouldn't shame us then. She said I was being a brat and I was risking my stepsisters feelings.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Proud_Ebb5720 on 2024-01-07 16:28:05+00:00.

My sister (14f) and I (16m) are part of a blended family. We lost our dad 7 years ago and our mom remarried 5 years ago. We now have three stepsisters who are 10, 8 and 7. They have different moms and their dad has custody of them so they live in the same house as us 100% of the time. We also have a half brother and mom is pregnant with another girl.

My sister and I see our dad's family still. More now that we are older because we have told mom we want more time with them and have put our foot down on getting more access, because initially after marrying her husband she limited our time with them to a couple of times a year.

There was a big deal made out of the fact my dad's side of the family do not have a relationship with our step or half siblings and never buy gifts for them or send family gifts home for us when my sister and I see them.

Lately, like the last 12 months, mom has been on our case about trying to bridge the gap between our dad's side and the rest of the family. She said their lack of extended family is a problem and we should try to open up our paternal side's hearts to welcoming more people into the family and that it would make us heroes in the eyes of the other kids.

Mom actually became estranged from her parents because they refused to have anything to do with my stepsisters and said they were not family and would not be treated like they are part of their family. Mom hates them for that. I find it kind of funny because even when dad was alive she rejected any chance from our dad's side to get close to them. She never really liked them and turned down so many invites from them and then she bitched when they sent her money after dad died to help her out with us and made a huge deal out of them bringing us for fun days out in the weeks after dad died to help us get out of our heads. She said they overstepped even though they had permission to take us places. So to know mom was all bent out of shape about her family, and I get that my stepsisters are kids and all, but mom was basically like that with our cousins who were also kids. So we don't see mom's parents anymore. But my sister and I can contact them.

My sister and I saw our family the 24th of December and the 26th. 24th was family Christmas. 26th was a bit of a trip to a special place. Mom was really pissed that we went and didn't try to include the other kids. All Christmas Day she was shaming us saying we were being selfish and the days after she was doing the same. We told her to stop. My sister said she shouldn't talk to us that way. Mom was saying how crappy we were being and how we should be doing better. I got so annoyed that I called up her parents and told them on new years day what she had been saying... and then they called to chew her out which pissed her off because she didn't want to hear from them. She said I had no right to do that. I told her she shouldn't shame us then. She said I was being a brat and I was risking my stepsisters feelings.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Common_Home3353 on 2024-01-07 15:54:09+00:00.

I have 3 children with my ex. 13yo "Brian", 11yo "Sarah" and 7yo "Zack". I have been with my now husband for 4 years and recently we found out I'm pregnant. It's a girl. I wasn't supposed to be able to get pregnant, as I had my tubes tied. I didn't find out I was pregnant until I was 5 months, when I started showing. It was just super unexpected. But anyways, since finding out we are going to have a baby and that it's a girl, my husband has been basically trying to get my oldest to share everything. He's not being an ass about it but this definitely didn't start happening until after I found out about the pregnancy. But what pisses me off is that this isn't a matter of him trying to get everyone to share. It's just my oldest. His reasoning is that my 13yo has much nicer stuff than the younger two. My two younger children have a habit of breaking everything, whereas my oldest doesn't. So my 13yo got a $350 gaming headset and a gaming PC for Christmas. But the other two kids got a pair of ear buds ($15) and an Xbox. All other gifts were of equal value.

Anyways, my son wanted to stay at his dad's house after Christmas but my two youngest wanted to come home. I work nights. My husband works from home. I came home at 8am the next morning and found my daughter on my son's brand new gaming PC that he hadn't even used yet. I immediately told her to get off of it. My husband said "she wasn't hurting anything." The next night I found out that my husband let my youngest son sleep in my oldest son's bed (my youngest son's room is colder). Problem is that he wears pullups to bed (ADHD) and left my oldest son's bed smelling like urine and I had no idea until my oldest came home 2 days later. My husband said it wasn't a big deal and that he was just cold and wanted to be more comfortable. "The bedding can be washed. It's fine."

The tip of the iceberg for me was definitely today. My daughter has already lost her headphones and wanted to use my son's brand new gaming headset. My husband immediately said "yeah that should be fine." So I stepped in and said "no". My husband said, again, "it's not even a big deal" when it absolutely is a big deal. And then 2 hours later he told the kids to go outside and told my daughter she could wear my son's snow pants because hers were too small. My daughter is like 4in taller than my son. She can't find her new snow pants that actually fit her. So he wanted my son to wear his sisters snow pants, that are about 2inches too small for even him, so that his sister could wear his and be more comfortable. I snapped. I told him that he only tries getting my son to give up his stuff and doesn't push the same narrative with the other kids and either he stops or he needs to leave. I told him my son will not be forced to share ANYTHING with his siblings and that if the other two would stop losing and breaking their own shit that they wouldn't need to use his. He says I'm being overdramatic and blowing this out of proportion.

edit: formatting

ETA: my husband was the baby in the family (out of his 4 siblings) and was spoiled himself so this is a learned behavior I think. I've tried talking to him about it and he admits to wanting my son to share everything because his stuff is nicer and it's not fair to the younger 2. He said I'm spoiling my son and not teaching him the benefit of sharing. He is much closer to my younger kids because they were younger when he came in to the picture. My son is a daddies boy and while he does like his step dad, he made it clear he wasn't interested in a father/son bond because he was already so close to his dad. This topic was only brought up after my husband made a comment that he wanted to be an equal next to my ex and my son was not okay with it. I have spoke to my son about it and he said what irritates him the most is that it's my husband making decisions, not me. In his words, he would be more receptive to me making decisions like that over my husband because my husband is overstepping and needs to take a backseat.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Common_Home3353 on 2024-01-07 15:54:09+00:00.

I have 3 children with my ex. 13yo "Brian", 11yo "Sarah" and 7yo "Zack". I have been with my now husband for 4 years and recently we found out I'm pregnant. It's a girl. I wasn't supposed to be able to get pregnant, as I had my tubes tied. I didn't find out I was pregnant until I was 5 months, when I started showing. It was just super unexpected. But anyways, since finding out we are going to have a baby and that it's a girl, my husband has been basically trying to get my oldest to share everything. He's not being an ass about it but this definitely didn't start happening until after I found out about the pregnancy. But what pisses me off is that this isn't a matter of him trying to get everyone to share. It's just my oldest. His reasoning is that my 13yo has much nicer stuff than the younger two. My two younger children have a habit of breaking everything, whereas my oldest doesn't. So my 13yo got a $350 gaming headset and a gaming PC for Christmas. But the other two kids got a pair of ear buds ($15) and an Xbox. All other gifts were of equal value.

Anyways, my son wanted to stay at his dad's house after Christmas but my two youngest wanted to come home. I work nights. My husband works from home. I came home at 8am the next morning and found my daughter on my son's brand new gaming PC that he hadn't even used yet. I immediately told her to get off of it. My husband said "she wasn't hurting anything." The next night I found out that my husband let my youngest son sleep in my oldest son's bed (my youngest son's room is colder). Problem is that he wears pullups to bed (ADHD) and left my oldest son's bed smelling like urine and I had no idea until my oldest came home 2 days later. My husband said it wasn't a big deal and that he was just cold and wanted to be more comfortable. "The bedding can be washed. It's fine."

The tip of the iceberg for me was definitely today. My daughter has already lost her headphones and wanted to use my son's brand new gaming headset. My husband immediately said "yeah that should be fine." So I stepped in and said "no". My husband said, again, "it's not even a big deal" when it absolutely is a big deal. And then 2 hours later he told the kids to go outside and told my daughter she could wear my son's snow pants because hers were too small. My daughter is like 4in taller than my son. She can't find her new snow pants that actually fit her. So he wanted my son to wear his sisters snow pants, that are about 2inches too small for even him, so that his sister could wear his and be more comfortable. I snapped. I told him that he only tries getting my son to give up his stuff and doesn't push the same narrative with the other kids and either he stops or he needs to leave. I told him my son will not be forced to share ANYTHING with his siblings and that if the other two would stop losing and breaking their own shit that they wouldn't need to use his. He says I'm being overdramatic and blowing this out of proportion.

edit: formatting

ETA: my husband was the baby in the family (out of his 4 siblings) and was spoiled himself so this is a learned behavior I think. I've tried talking to him about it and he admits to wanting my son to share everything because his stuff is nicer and it's not fair to the younger 2. He said I'm spoiling my son and not teaching him the benefit of sharing. He is much closer to my younger kids because they were younger when he came in to the picture. My son is a daddies boy and while he does like his step dad, he made it clear he wasn't interested in a father/son bond because he was already so close to his dad. This topic was only brought up after my husband made a comment that he wanted to be an equal next to my ex and my son was not okay with it. I have spoke to my son about it and he said what irritates him the most is that it's my husband making decisions, not me. In his words, he would be more receptive to me making decisions like that over my husband because my husband is overstepping and needs to take a backseat.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ToughPast1806 on 2024-01-07 19:50:03+00:00.

When I was pregnant with our twins he never helped me. He didn't clean up after himself or our children. I was having to clean and scrub floors and crying in terrible pain at 37 weeks and he didn't care. He didn't help me. He didn't help with the babies either he went and got an elective surgery that could have waited right after they were born so I had to take care of him too.

Now 5 years later he has back problems. He's in pain. I keep helping him do things but I don't want to. I want him to feel what he put me thru, I want to not help him so he can understand what he put me thru. AITA for not wanting to help him?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/zeebibbes on 2024-01-07 19:45:44+00:00.

I teach group fitness. I really wanted him to come to my class and I expressed that I would really love it if he came to my class once. He has a personal training appointment that conflicts. He got upset that I asked him to cancel his plans to drive up and come to my class. I thought it would be good for him and it’s still exercise. I told him I understood it was me being selfish to ask him to come and he basically expressed that I didn’t ask him in an enticing enough way. It’s caused a major rub between us. I’m not sure how to feel about the situation.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ToughPast1806 on 2024-01-07 19:50:03+00:00.

When I was pregnant with our twins he never helped me. He didn't clean up after himself or our children. I was having to clean and scrub floors and crying in terrible pain at 37 weeks and he didn't care. He didn't help me. He didn't help with the babies either he went and got an elective surgery that could have waited right after they were born so I had to take care of him too.

Now 5 years later he has back problems. He's in pain. I keep helping him do things but I don't want to. I want him to feel what he put me thru, I want to not help him so he can understand what he put me thru. AITA for not wanting to help him?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Amazing-Flower8907 on 2024-01-07 19:43:14+00:00.

I’ll excuse my grammar now, I’m just not good with it.

I (30F) used to have a real close friendship group, met “Anna” in daycare when we were both 3, met “Quinn” when we were 4/5

Quinn and Anna started dating when we were 12-22, Anna told us she was pregnant…throughout the pregnancy Quinn was excited, except it turned out the baby wasn’t Quinn’s…it was my brothers (33M) Anna and my brother got married a week before the baby was born and Quinn hasn’t spoken to them since.

Quinn and I started dating 2 years later, got married a year ago and we’re about to welcome our little blessing…Anna wanted to reach out to Quinn; because in her words now we’re all family! I refused to pass along the message and my family confidently believe I’m TA for keeping family gatherings tense (we don’t attend if Anna is there) and I can pass along the message and let my husband decide.

Nobody is on my side here, so I’m wondering

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/zeebibbes on 2024-01-07 19:45:44+00:00.

I teach group fitness. I really wanted him to come to my class and I expressed that I would really love it if he came to my class once. He has a personal training appointment that conflicts. He got upset that I asked him to cancel his plans to drive up and come to my class. I thought it would be good for him and it’s still exercise. I told him I understood it was me being selfish to ask him to come and he basically expressed that I didn’t ask him in an enticing enough way. It’s caused a major rub between us. I’m not sure how to feel about the situation.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/lillyfraser on 2024-01-07 19:42:12+00:00.

Sorry if this is long.

I (24F) have only one younger brother (18M). Our parents are from a conservative family religiously and culturally but they both moved to the US for higher education and thus we thought they aren’t as conservative as their family back home. However, my father still holds some homophobic/misogynistic views due to his upbringing. My father does have a decent job but my mom’s a surgeon and she earns enough to support me and my brother with ease ALONE. I and my brother both live with our parents (you’ll see why this is important.)

A year or so back, my brother came out to me as gay. Ofcourse I supported him and but he didn’t want to come out to my parents atleast until he leaves their house for good.

Recently, my brother’s ex boyfriend outed him to our family, after they broke up, by sending their texts to my father on social media. My father BLEW UP and he was so, so mad that we were scared for our life. My mom however took my brother’s side and tried to calm my father down but he was hell bent on kicking out and disowning my brother. My mom wouldnt take it and she left with me and my brother to stay at a hotel till we find a solution. Mom was hoping this wouldn’t reach the rest of the family because they would 100% take my father’s side but he had already called his elder brother (my uncle) to tell him. My uncle then told him to call me and mom back and leave my brother or he would threaten to divorce her. Divorce is a big taboo in our culture/religion. They probably thought this was gonna scare tf out of my mom but after my dad relayed the message to her, she asked him to do it because she isn’t coming back.

Obviously this shocked dad and I heard a lot of shouting on the phone because my dad didn’t expect mom to stand ground after the “threat” of divorce. She said she can live and support us by herself and she didn’t need him for anything. He tried to emotionally blackmail her by “you’re throwing away the family” and that he didn’t mean it when he suggested divorce.

Few days after all this, my aunt (dad’s sister) called me and said that if I’m unhappy with my mom, I can tell her and she’ll come pick me but I told her I will be standing with my mom and brother and dont need her help. She obviously relayed this to my dad and his family and they have been constantly sending me messages and calls about how I am a terrible daughter and should try to find a way back rather than supporting my mom on her “mission to ruin the family”. My dad’s a cardiac patient and they’ve been saying how his blood pressure is sky high and we will be the reason if he gets a heart attack and all sorts of emotional manipulation. I will always support my mom and brother but should I try to convert her to change her mind and stay? Maybe if everyone calms down, my dad would chill out about my brother? Maybe I should be trying to reconcile my family?

So, AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Amazing-Flower8907 on 2024-01-07 19:43:14+00:00.

I’ll excuse my grammar now, I’m just not good with it.

I (30F) used to have a real close friendship group, met “Anna” in daycare when we were both 3, met “Quinn” when we were 4/5

Quinn and Anna started dating when we were 12-22, Anna told us she was pregnant…throughout the pregnancy Quinn was excited, except it turned out the baby wasn’t Quinn’s…it was my brothers (33M) Anna and my brother got married a week before the baby was born and Quinn hasn’t spoken to them since.

Quinn and I started dating 2 years later, got married a year ago and we’re about to welcome our little blessing…Anna wanted to reach out to Quinn; because in her words now we’re all family! I refused to pass along the message and my family confidently believe I’m TA for keeping family gatherings tense (we don’t attend if Anna is there) and I can pass along the message and let my husband decide.

Nobody is on my side here, so I’m wondering

AITA?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Candid-Effective-384 on 2024-01-07 19:41:21+00:00.

When I got engaged I (24f) asked my mom if she would walk me down the aisle and have a mother/daughter dance during my reception. She enthusiastically said yes. We told my stepdad and he said he was happy for my mom. He and my mom started dating when I was 6, he moved in when I was 9 and they got married when I was 10. When mom first started dating him she sat me down and told me he wasn't ever going to replace dad and that if he ever pressured me to do something I was uncomfortable with, like call him dad, I could tell her and she would nip it in the bud. She made it clear our relationship didn't have to fit anyone else's mold and she reminded me of this again when he moved in and when they got married. She also asked for my feelings on things every step of the way and I liked my stepdad and cared about him so it was easy to agree to him moving in and to them getting married. I never called him dad or really thought of him as a dad figure. He was something different and it wasn't nothing but I'm not sure I would have a word to describe it. But we got along great. It was just never the same as my relationship with my mom.

I always dreamed of mom walking me down the aisle and dancing with me at my wedding. She was there and always put me first and we're our own team. But she also loved and never let him be just a piece of history I never knew anything about. I always appreciated that and her efforts to keep me involved in his family, or the good parts anyway lol.

A few weeks ago my stepdad's parents texted me with a weird comment about father of the bride's needing a little extra detail to go into their wedding suit. It came out of nowhere and I didn't reply because I honestly had no idea what it was about really. A few days after that I saw them and they asked why he wasn't in rehearsal for our father/daughter dance. I told them there was nothing to rehears and mom was dancing with me. I said my stepdad and I would dance at a different point on the day. They said father of the bride is the dance not mother of the bride. I told them he wasn't going to have that traditional role. Another day then they mentioned it to me and I asked them why they kept bringing it up. They said I should be ashamed and I humiliated my stepdad and he was so upset that he went to them. I spoke to my stepdad and he confirmed he went to his parents with the hope I would see the error of my ways and he didn't want to piss off mom by saying something directly. But he told me he deserved to be father of the bride and not stepfather of the bride. I told my mom what he did and she was furious. Of course my stepdad was upset with me but his parents were pissed and told me I ran to my mommy like a little girl instead of a woman.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/lillyfraser on 2024-01-07 19:42:12+00:00.

Sorry if this is long.

I (24F) have only one younger brother (18M). Our parents are from a conservative family religiously and culturally but they both moved to the US for higher education and thus we thought they aren’t as conservative as their family back home. However, my father still holds some homophobic/misogynistic views due to his upbringing. My father does have a decent job but my mom’s a surgeon and she earns enough to support me and my brother with ease ALONE. I and my brother both live with our parents (you’ll see why this is important.)

A year or so back, my brother came out to me as gay. Ofcourse I supported him and but he didn’t want to come out to my parents atleast until he leaves their house for good.

Recently, my brother’s ex boyfriend outed him to our family, after they broke up, by sending their texts to my father on social media. My father BLEW UP and he was so, so mad that we were scared for our life. My mom however took my brother’s side and tried to calm my father down but he was hell bent on kicking out and disowning my brother. My mom wouldnt take it and she left with me and my brother to stay at a hotel till we find a solution. Mom was hoping this wouldn’t reach the rest of the family because they would 100% take my father’s side but he had already called his elder brother (my uncle) to tell him. My uncle then told him to call me and mom back and leave my brother or he would threaten to divorce her. Divorce is a big taboo in our culture/religion. They probably thought this was gonna scare tf out of my mom but after my dad relayed the message to her, she asked him to do it because she isn’t coming back.

Obviously this shocked dad and I heard a lot of shouting on the phone because my dad didn’t expect mom to stand ground after the “threat” of divorce. She said she can live and support us by herself and she didn’t need him for anything. He tried to emotionally blackmail her by “you’re throwing away the family” and that he didn’t mean it when he suggested divorce.

Few days after all this, my aunt (dad’s sister) called me and said that if I’m unhappy with my mom, I can tell her and she’ll come pick me but I told her I will be standing with my mom and brother and dont need her help. She obviously relayed this to my dad and his family and they have been constantly sending me messages and calls about how I am a terrible daughter and should try to find a way back rather than supporting my mom on her “mission to ruin the family”. My dad’s a cardiac patient and they’ve been saying how his blood pressure is sky high and we will be the reason if he gets a heart attack and all sorts of emotional manipulation. I will always support my mom and brother but should I try to convert her to change her mind and stay? Maybe if everyone calms down, my dad would chill out about my brother? Maybe I should be trying to reconcile my family?

So, AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/kfiero on 2024-01-07 19:40:38+00:00.

So basically, my best friend's wife cheated on him with one of his other friends. I have a no tolerance policy with cheating, and have encouraged him to leave his wife, and find someone else.

Long story short, he decided to stay with his wife. I refuse to support this decision, because he deserves better. I've made it clear to him that I love him, but I don't want to hear about her anymore, and she's not welcome around me anymore.

Anyways, its 6 months as later, and i still hate his wife. Now, he accuses ME of being an AH, and says if I'm adding drama into his life by inviting me to things that she's not welcome to come to. He says I should support his decision to stay with wife. I disagree. I support him, but I cannot support his decision to stay with a cheater and I refuse to be around her.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Candid-Effective-384 on 2024-01-07 19:41:21+00:00.

When I got engaged I (24f) asked my mom if she would walk me down the aisle and have a mother/daughter dance during my reception. She enthusiastically said yes. We told my stepdad and he said he was happy for my mom. He and my mom started dating when I was 6, he moved in when I was 9 and they got married when I was 10. When mom first started dating him she sat me down and told me he wasn't ever going to replace dad and that if he ever pressured me to do something I was uncomfortable with, like call him dad, I could tell her and she would nip it in the bud. She made it clear our relationship didn't have to fit anyone else's mold and she reminded me of this again when he moved in and when they got married. She also asked for my feelings on things every step of the way and I liked my stepdad and cared about him so it was easy to agree to him moving in and to them getting married. I never called him dad or really thought of him as a dad figure. He was something different and it wasn't nothing but I'm not sure I would have a word to describe it. But we got along great. It was just never the same as my relationship with my mom.

I always dreamed of mom walking me down the aisle and dancing with me at my wedding. She was there and always put me first and we're our own team. But she also loved and never let him be just a piece of history I never knew anything about. I always appreciated that and her efforts to keep me involved in his family, or the good parts anyway lol.

A few weeks ago my stepdad's parents texted me with a weird comment about father of the bride's needing a little extra detail to go into their wedding suit. It came out of nowhere and I didn't reply because I honestly had no idea what it was about really. A few days after that I saw them and they asked why he wasn't in rehearsal for our father/daughter dance. I told them there was nothing to rehears and mom was dancing with me. I said my stepdad and I would dance at a different point on the day. They said father of the bride is the dance not mother of the bride. I told them he wasn't going to have that traditional role. Another day then they mentioned it to me and I asked them why they kept bringing it up. They said I should be ashamed and I humiliated my stepdad and he was so upset that he went to them. I spoke to my stepdad and he confirmed he went to his parents with the hope I would see the error of my ways and he didn't want to piss off mom by saying something directly. But he told me he deserved to be father of the bride and not stepfather of the bride. I told my mom what he did and she was furious. Of course my stepdad was upset with me but his parents were pissed and told me I ran to my mommy like a little girl instead of a woman.

AITA?