Am I the Asshole?

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A catharsis for the frustrated moral philosopher in all of us, and a place to finally find out if you were wrong in an argument that's been...

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ryvrstixx on 2024-01-07 19:31:58+00:00.


I (22M) was very lucky in the way my days off work fell over the Christmas period - I had the 25th -28th December off of work and as I am working in my home country, was able to spend Christmas with my family.

My (23F) friend and housemate was less fortunate and was due in work on the 26th and because she is not working in her home country would not have been able to go home and spend Christmas with her family.

For some context, this girl has spent weeks saying how much she hates Christmas and that she doesn’t care to celebrate it. I love Christmas and am always excited for it to come around - and have had plans for the 26th specifically since the beginning of November.

At the start of December, my friend asked me if I would swap our shifts so that I would work the 26th and allow her to go home for Christmas, I told her no, but said that I would ask around and see if anyone else could give her the day off - also telling her that if she couldn’t get the swap she would be more than welcome to come and have Christmas dinner with my family, so that she wouldn’t have to spend Christmas alone in the house that we share. A few days later she asked me again to swap our shifts and I again told her no. I explained to her that it’s my brother and my aunts birthday, and that I have plans for a night out since November. It’s the first Christmas my whole family got to spend together since before Covid so I was not going to miss a second of it.

She got very angry with me, saying that the 26th isn’t festive and that I would have other days to spend with my family. None the less - it was my day off, and I already had plans. She ended the conversation saying thanks for nothing and that I had lost a friend and has barely spoken to me since.

She ended up getting a swap with someone else in the company and I have since found out she behaved the same way to another one of our friends who also had the 26th off and had plans with their boyfriend - am I the asshole?

1227
 
 
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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/kfiero on 2024-01-07 19:40:38+00:00.


So basically, my best friend's wife cheated on him with one of his other friends. I have a no tolerance policy with cheating, and have encouraged him to leave his wife, and find someone else.

Long story short, he decided to stay with his wife. I refuse to support this decision, because he deserves better. I've made it clear to him that I love him, but I don't want to hear about her anymore, and she's not welcome around me anymore.

Anyways, its 6 months as later, and i still hate his wife. Now, he accuses ME of being an AH, and says if I'm adding drama into his life by inviting me to things that she's not welcome to come to. He says I should support his decision to stay with wife. I disagree. I support him, but I cannot support his decision to stay with a cheater and I refuse to be around her.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Plane-Abrocoma-112 on 2024-01-07 19:17:04+00:00.


AITA for making my wife leave church?

For context here my wife(let’s call her P) and I have been together for 11 years, married for 10. When we met I was going through a rough divorce where my now ex(let’s call her K) had cheated on me and gotten pregnant by another man while I was away for the Army. K and I had been separated for about a year when I met my P. When P got pregnant I proposed because I wanted a family unit and my child to not grow up in a broken home.

Fast forward 11 years and my wife and I are searching for a new church home in our area. She went to this church one time 4-5 years ago and loved it, so she suggested we try it out.

We walked in and loved the vibe, and the kids area seemed awesome. We got to the sanctuary and started worship when I noticed about three rows to my left was K and the guy she is with. I was frozen for a few minutes and then had to leave. I couldn’t stand to be in the same room as her.

Now my wife is saying because I am still that angry she feels like a consolation prize because I never delt with the anger and hurt that K caused me.

AITA?

1229
 
 
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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ryvrstixx on 2024-01-07 19:31:58+00:00.


I (22M) was very lucky in the way my days off work fell over the Christmas period - I had the 25th -28th December off of work and as I am working in my home country, was able to spend Christmas with my family.

My (23F) friend and housemate was less fortunate and was due in work on the 26th and because she is not working in her home country would not have been able to go home and spend Christmas with her family.

For some context, this girl has spent weeks saying how much she hates Christmas and that she doesn’t care to celebrate it. I love Christmas and am always excited for it to come around - and have had plans for the 26th specifically since the beginning of November.

At the start of December, my friend asked me if I would swap our shifts so that I would work the 26th and allow her to go home for Christmas, I told her no, but said that I would ask around and see if anyone else could give her the day off - also telling her that if she couldn’t get the swap she would be more than welcome to come and have Christmas dinner with my family, so that she wouldn’t have to spend Christmas alone in the house that we share. A few days later she asked me again to swap our shifts and I again told her no. I explained to her that it’s my brother and my aunts birthday, and that I have plans for a night out since November. It’s the first Christmas my whole family got to spend together since before Covid so I was not going to miss a second of it.

She got very angry with me, saying that the 26th isn’t festive and that I would have other days to spend with my family. None the less - it was my day off, and I already had plans. She ended the conversation saying thanks for nothing and that I had lost a friend and has barely spoken to me since.

She ended up getting a swap with someone else in the company and I have since found out she behaved the same way to another one of our friends who also had the 26th off and had plans with their boyfriend - am I the asshole?

1230
 
 
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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/throwaway010724 on 2024-01-07 19:15:44+00:00.


Throwaway for obvious reasons

A few weeks ago my wife and I discussed her starting a OF on the grounds it would all be kept discreet. No main accounts linked (Twitter, tiktok, Facebook etc) and off she was to start. Well now a few weeks later it's on her Main tiktok with links leading to Facebook, shorts on Facebook etc. I stated my uncomfortable feelings about it being linked to main accounts and a argument started about that's being controlling. I asked for the password to the OF to atleast be able to see what was being said in DMs etc and after another argument I got the password and access, but am being told I asked for this and how controlling I'm being. Am I the asshole or are my concerns warranted. TIA

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Plane-Abrocoma-112 on 2024-01-07 19:17:04+00:00.


AITA for making my wife leave church?

For context here my wife(let’s call her P) and I have been together for 11 years, married for 10. When we met I was going through a rough divorce where my now ex(let’s call her K) had cheated on me and gotten pregnant by another man while I was away for the Army. K and I had been separated for about a year when I met my P. When P got pregnant I proposed because I wanted a family unit and my child to not grow up in a broken home.

Fast forward 11 years and my wife and I are searching for a new church home in our area. She went to this church one time 4-5 years ago and loved it, so she suggested we try it out.

We walked in and loved the vibe, and the kids area seemed awesome. We got to the sanctuary and started worship when I noticed about three rows to my left was K and the guy she is with. I was frozen for a few minutes and then had to leave. I couldn’t stand to be in the same room as her.

Now my wife is saying because I am still that angry she feels like a consolation prize because I never delt with the anger and hurt that K caused me.

AITA?

1232
 
 
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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Lorddisick212 on 2024-01-07 19:15:25+00:00.


I was arguing with my mother because she said “if a skincare product itches on your face it working” and I disagreed with her opinion, she then goes to say “if you know everything why does your skin still look like that?!”.So AITA for choosing not to talk to her?

1233
 
 
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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/throwaway010724 on 2024-01-07 19:15:44+00:00.


Throwaway for obvious reasons

A few weeks ago my wife and I discussed her starting a OF on the grounds it would all be kept discreet. No main accounts linked (Twitter, tiktok, Facebook etc) and off she was to start. Well now a few weeks later it's on her Main tiktok with links leading to Facebook, shorts on Facebook etc. I stated my uncomfortable feelings about it being linked to main accounts and a argument started about that's being controlling. I asked for the password to the OF to atleast be able to see what was being said in DMs etc and after another argument I got the password and access, but am being told I asked for this and how controlling I'm being. Am I the asshole or are my concerns warranted. TIA

1234
 
 
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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/LogicalPassage4273 on 2024-01-07 19:02:03+00:00.


I (18m) and heard from my best friend (18f) that she was seeing someone, I was obviously happy for her since she has had some tough relationships in the past and all I heard from her were good things, she then told me the news to say that they had started dating and had asked me to come to hers for dinner and meet him, I agreed and arrived at her house.

When she answered the door I gave her a massive hug and told her I was happy for her and couldn’t wait to meet him, we walked into the kitchen and my heart sunk.

Her new boyfriend was extremely rude and awful towards me in high school, for context I had cancer when I was 12-13 and had not long arrived back in school after getting the all clear.

While sitting at a table with friends him and another friend came up to my table and asked if anyone wanted cancer, looked straight at me and left.

I also heard from another friend that in one of her lessons he was saying I shouldn’t have made it and also saying homophobic things about me as I am gay. As soon as I saw him in my friends house I walked out and she came chasing after me, she then asked what was wrong and I told her everything.

She told me it was 5 years ago now and that I should forget everything that happened, im starting to think if Im in the wrong for not forgetting that he said. AITA?

1235
 
 
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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Lorddisick212 on 2024-01-07 19:15:25+00:00.


I was arguing with my mother because she said “if a skincare product itches on your face it working” and I disagreed with her opinion, she then goes to say “if you know everything why does your skin still look like that?!”.So AITA for choosing not to talk to her?

1236
 
 
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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/HospitalFragrant7305 on 2024-01-07 18:58:54+00:00.


Last year, I got into some trouble and made some pretty bad decisions which although are unrelated to my sister, made her feel disappointed and embarrassed.

She has not spoken to me since. She doesn't text me or call me or come over. A few months back during my birthday, she didn't come to my birthday either.

I live with our parents, but she has moved with her husband and so we keep distant for that reason naturally.

This morning, my parents asked me if I would be going to her birthday, which they were basically out the door when they asked me. I had no idea any event was taking place and wasn't told by her, by my parents or by anyone else.

I felt uncomfortable going. I feel like if she wanted me to go, she would make me feel invited. I don't think I'm in the wrong but I can't help but feel guilty. I am worried that when my parents come back from her birthday, they will sit my down and lecture me about having been a bad brother. I just feel comfortable! She doesn't talk to me or text me and now I'm going to show up at her house? No.. If she wants distance, the right thing is for me to be respectful and give it to her. I wish I felt comfortable and that we would talk and that I could be there right now, but if I went, there would be this weird tension and I would feel really out of place.

I'm sure my parents didn't tell her anything when she didn't come to my birthday, but I'm positive they will tell me about how bad it is that I didn't come to hers.

I feel really sad right now.

1237
 
 
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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/LogicalPassage4273 on 2024-01-07 19:02:03+00:00.


I (18m) and heard from my best friend (18f) that she was seeing someone, I was obviously happy for her since she has had some tough relationships in the past and all I heard from her were good things, she then told me the news to say that they had started dating and had asked me to come to hers for dinner and meet him, I agreed and arrived at her house.

When she answered the door I gave her a massive hug and told her I was happy for her and couldn’t wait to meet him, we walked into the kitchen and my heart sunk.

Her new boyfriend was extremely rude and awful towards me in high school, for context I had cancer when I was 12-13 and had not long arrived back in school after getting the all clear.

While sitting at a table with friends him and another friend came up to my table and asked if anyone wanted cancer, looked straight at me and left.

I also heard from another friend that in one of her lessons he was saying I shouldn’t have made it and also saying homophobic things about me as I am gay. As soon as I saw him in my friends house I walked out and she came chasing after me, she then asked what was wrong and I told her everything.

She told me it was 5 years ago now and that I should forget everything that happened, im starting to think if Im in the wrong for not forgetting that he said. AITA?

1238
 
 
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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/sheneedstoask on 2024-01-07 18:58:43+00:00.


Using a throwaway. I (20f) never got along great with my mom, she's a bit neglectful and manipulative. I was always eager to help as a kid/teen because I hoped helping would make her like me more, but in the recent years I toned it down.

She has this habit where she won't ask for help, but will just complain until someone offers to help (and then not be grateful, because they offered and so she doesn't owe them anything).

So I've stopped offering to help. A lot of conversations go:

"Ugh, I really need help with X, I just can't do it on top of work! It would be so much easier if someone else could do it."

"Well, you could ask someone for help?"

"But no one would possibly want to help me."

"You won't know until you ask."

"But then..."

And so on and so forth. I used to jump in and offer to help, but then she'd respond with "Oh well if you WANT to I suppose you could." Like she was doing me a favour by letting me help her. So I stopped. It didn't come out of the blue, I let her know I couldn't help unless she asked me. But she hasn't asked, she's just becoming more annoyed and her boyfriend asked me to just help anyway and stop this.

I don't live at home and she doesn't pay my bills, if that matters.

AITA?

1239
 
 
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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/HospitalFragrant7305 on 2024-01-07 18:58:54+00:00.


Last year, I got into some trouble and made some pretty bad decisions which although are unrelated to my sister, made her feel disappointed and embarrassed.

She has not spoken to me since. She doesn't text me or call me or come over. A few months back during my birthday, she didn't come to my birthday either.

I live with our parents, but she has moved with her husband and so we keep distant for that reason naturally.

This morning, my parents asked me if I would be going to her birthday, which they were basically out the door when they asked me. I had no idea any event was taking place and wasn't told by her, by my parents or by anyone else.

I felt uncomfortable going. I feel like if she wanted me to go, she would make me feel invited. I don't think I'm in the wrong but I can't help but feel guilty. I am worried that when my parents come back from her birthday, they will sit my down and lecture me about having been a bad brother. I just feel comfortable! She doesn't talk to me or text me and now I'm going to show up at her house? No.. If she wants distance, the right thing is for me to be respectful and give it to her. I wish I felt comfortable and that we would talk and that I could be there right now, but if I went, there would be this weird tension and I would feel really out of place.

I'm sure my parents didn't tell her anything when she didn't come to my birthday, but I'm positive they will tell me about how bad it is that I didn't come to hers.

I feel really sad right now.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/MochiIsAmazing on 2024-01-07 18:58:21+00:00.


There was a new girl in my class that I’ll call Hailey. For some reason, Hailey wrote “I wanna have sex” on her school notebook. She didn’t show it to the class, but she teased my friend by covering the book with her forearm. He ended up snatching the book and seeing what she wrote. He was shocked to say the least. In the end, his mom and my mom convinced us to tell them what Hailey had written. They weren’t pleased with Hailey to say the least.

Pretty soon, my friend group expressed that displeasure and talked smack about Hailey in our groupchats. They were the few good church kids in my school and I wanted to maintain a good social standing with them. Due to this, I didn’t stand up for Hailey amid the bad things that were said about her. My guy friend had a rather uptight mother and so did I. To please my social circle, I was quite cold to Hailey for some time. It was easy to do cause she wasn’t the easiest to get along with anyway.

I once asked Hailey to be my duet partner for the school talent show and she agreed. However, my friends and my mom didn’t approve of me doing the duet with her because they felt Hailey hadn’t proved herself to be a godlier person. I told Hailey that I couldn’t do it because I didn’t have time to practice with her. She didn’t seem to believe and kept pressing for a real reason. Eventually, I told her the truth and revealed that some people in my group said bad things about her. Hailey asked who they were, but I refused to tell her. I didn’t want to make my friends look bad.

Hailey cried about it and didn’t try to talk too much to us in church. Me and my group started trying to include Hailey more in conversations to make her feel better. However, we still kept our distance and I never said anything when one of my friends insulted Hailey to her or behind her.

Hailey was rather calm and collected in school and church, so what she did next shocked me. She called me and my friends to the church gym and started to confront us. She calmly but angrily asked if we had said anything about her. My friends all denied and asked her what she was talking about. After ranting about us being hypocrites and self-righteous people, she got angrier as she asked who talked shit about her.

Those people tried to deny, but Hailey saw through them. Eventually, I spoke up and confessed that those were the people. The people called out began to criticize Hailey for what she wrote, which caused her to snap and yell at the people and call them “holier than thou pricks and conniving snakes.” I stood up for those people and told Hailey how they and I tried to include her. I admitted that we were being unfair, but told her not to hold it against us.

She told me that because we held her actions against her, she would not let us off the hook. Hailey turned to me and said, “You’re not just an asshole; you’re a cowardly asshole as well.” Am I though?

1241
 
 
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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/sheneedstoask on 2024-01-07 18:58:43+00:00.


Using a throwaway. I (20f) never got along great with my mom, she's a bit neglectful and manipulative. I was always eager to help as a kid/teen because I hoped helping would make her like me more, but in the recent years I toned it down.

She has this habit where she won't ask for help, but will just complain until someone offers to help (and then not be grateful, because they offered and so she doesn't owe them anything).

So I've stopped offering to help. A lot of conversations go:

"Ugh, I really need help with X, I just can't do it on top of work! It would be so much easier if someone else could do it."

"Well, you could ask someone for help?"

"But no one would possibly want to help me."

"You won't know until you ask."

"But then..."

And so on and so forth. I used to jump in and offer to help, but then she'd respond with "Oh well if you WANT to I suppose you could." Like she was doing me a favour by letting me help her. So I stopped. It didn't come out of the blue, I let her know I couldn't help unless she asked me. But she hasn't asked, she's just becoming more annoyed and her boyfriend asked me to just help anyway and stop this.

I don't live at home and she doesn't pay my bills, if that matters.

AITA?

1242
 
 
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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Worried-Concept7146 on 2024-01-07 18:49:51+00:00.


My (34f) brother (36m) is getting married this year. My invite arrived this week, and it was conspicuously didn’t name my girlfriend (32f) of 5 years, or mention a +1. I messaged him to RSVP and ask if she could come too. He said there was a hard limit on numbers “due to catering”, so they’d had to be selective about invites, and our other sister didn’t get a +1 either (she’s currently single though).

His wedding isn’t huge - maybe 100 people, but his excuse sat a little weird with me, so I asked around. It turns out every other family member in a relationship has their partner invited - including cousins he’s not close with, other unmarried couples etc.

It’s hard not to think it’s because I’m the only openly queer person in the family. When I first came out my family reacted very badly, but over the years I thought things had thawed a little. My brother even agreed to meet my girlfriend a couple of years ago and it seemed to go fine.

I messaged him again and thanked him for the invitation, but said I wouldn’t come unless my girlfriend could too. Now my mom is telling me that I’m being totally unreasonable, and that it’s his wedding and I’m making it about myself by being demanding etc.

I know it’s his wedding and he can invite who he likes, and I’m not trying to start a fight, but honestly I hate the idea of going to another family event where I’m expected to hide who I am to “keep the peace”.

So, AITA?

1243
 
 
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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/MochiIsAmazing on 2024-01-07 18:58:21+00:00.


There was a new girl in my class that I’ll call Hailey. For some reason, Hailey wrote “I wanna have sex” on her school notebook. She didn’t show it to the class, but she teased my friend by covering the book with her forearm. He ended up snatching the book and seeing what she wrote. He was shocked to say the least. In the end, his mom and my mom convinced us to tell them what Hailey had written. They weren’t pleased with Hailey to say the least.

Pretty soon, my friend group expressed that displeasure and talked smack about Hailey in our groupchats. They were the few good church kids in my school and I wanted to maintain a good social standing with them. Due to this, I didn’t stand up for Hailey amid the bad things that were said about her. My guy friend had a rather uptight mother and so did I. To please my social circle, I was quite cold to Hailey for some time. It was easy to do cause she wasn’t the easiest to get along with anyway.

I once asked Hailey to be my duet partner for the school talent show and she agreed. However, my friends and my mom didn’t approve of me doing the duet with her because they felt Hailey hadn’t proved herself to be a godlier person. I told Hailey that I couldn’t do it because I didn’t have time to practice with her. She didn’t seem to believe and kept pressing for a real reason. Eventually, I told her the truth and revealed that some people in my group said bad things about her. Hailey asked who they were, but I refused to tell her. I didn’t want to make my friends look bad.

Hailey cried about it and didn’t try to talk too much to us in church. Me and my group started trying to include Hailey more in conversations to make her feel better. However, we still kept our distance and I never said anything when one of my friends insulted Hailey to her or behind her.

Hailey was rather calm and collected in school and church, so what she did next shocked me. She called me and my friends to the church gym and started to confront us. She calmly but angrily asked if we had said anything about her. My friends all denied and asked her what she was talking about. After ranting about us being hypocrites and self-righteous people, she got angrier as she asked who talked shit about her.

Those people tried to deny, but Hailey saw through them. Eventually, I spoke up and confessed that those were the people. The people called out began to criticize Hailey for what she wrote, which caused her to snap and yell at the people and call them “holier than thou pricks and conniving snakes.” I stood up for those people and told Hailey how they and I tried to include her. I admitted that we were being unfair, but told her not to hold it against us.

She told me that because we held her actions against her, she would not let us off the hook. Hailey turned to me and said, “You’re not just an asshole; you’re a cowardly asshole as well.” Am I though?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Foreign_Water7995 on 2024-01-07 18:47:28+00:00.


I own my house but live next door to a family of four, renting it from the owner. The owner left me and the other neighbours his contact details as it's an investment property, and it's in case we wanted to make any complaints. 8 months ago, my neighbours got a dog. They still need to train the dog. I'm not a dog owner, and I know that dogs do bark, but one of the issues was this dog barked constantly day and night. The main issue is since they've got the dog, they've let him out to do a wee and poo every day, but they've never picked the dog poo up; their garden is literally covered in poo. The stench was so putrid that I went over on two separate occasions to have the same conversation, I asked them if they could pick up their dog poo as it stinks so bad I can't have my windows open often and if they could just train their dog, they weren't exactly thrilled about this but said they see what they could do about it.

Yes, it's wintertime, but although the smell has died down because of the cold, I can still smell it. As I've spoken to them on two separate occasions, I decided they would be the same for the third time. Sometime in December, I texted the owner of the property to make a complaint regarding the dog poo. I explained the situation to him, and he texted back and said he's finally given up and would be looking to evict them. He's explained that numerous residents have been contacting him and even sent photos of their garden. He's sent them warning letters and done everything he can to resolve the issue. The garden is completely grass; it's ruined, and he'll need to fork out money to redo this garden and put it back into the nice state it should have been in.

I feel bad for both parties involved as the landlord has to spend money on fixing his property, but I feel guilty that the family is being evicted, and it's only the beginning of 2024. A few days ago, the family next door knocked on my door yelling at me, saying they'd been served an eviction notice and saying they knew it was because of me. I'm someone who does stick up for myself and wasn't ashamed to say it was. They went home and had a rant on Facebook (An app I don't use). How I found this out is because my sister has a friend who is a mutual friend of the family; my sister's friend screenshotted the post and sent it to my sister. She sent it to me via WhatsApp. She thinks I'm an asshole, and it's begun to get into a great big thing. Fellow residents don't think I'm an asshole but a lot of my sister's friends who don't know me and my sister think I'm an asshole because I caused an eviction and only 2024.

Personally, I wasn't looking at getting them evicted when I messaged the owner of the property. I was hoping he'd have some powers to force them to clean up. AITA for causing a family to be evicted? I feel guilty for both parties involved.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Worried-Concept7146 on 2024-01-07 18:49:51+00:00.


My (34f) brother (36m) is getting married this year. My invite arrived this week, and it was conspicuously didn’t name my girlfriend (32f) of 5 years, or mention a +1. I messaged him to RSVP and ask if she could come too. He said there was a hard limit on numbers “due to catering”, so they’d had to be selective about invites, and our other sister didn’t get a +1 either (she’s currently single though).

His wedding isn’t huge - maybe 100 people, but his excuse sat a little weird with me, so I asked around. It turns out every other family member in a relationship has their partner invited - including cousins he’s not close with, other unmarried couples etc.

It’s hard not to think it’s because I’m the only openly queer person in the family. When I first came out my family reacted very badly, but over the years I thought things had thawed a little. My brother even agreed to meet my girlfriend a couple of years ago and it seemed to go fine.

I messaged him again and thanked him for the invitation, but said I wouldn’t come unless my girlfriend could too. Now my mom is telling me that I’m being totally unreasonable, and that it’s his wedding and I’m making it about myself by being demanding etc.

I know it’s his wedding and he can invite who he likes, and I’m not trying to start a fight, but honestly I hate the idea of going to another family event where I’m expected to hide who I am to “keep the peace”.

So, AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/RoutineMeat2729 on 2024-01-07 18:40:31+00:00.


I (16F) live with my dad, stepmom, and my 3 younger half siblings. I love them to death. The oldest of them is my brother (7M).

My stepmom has treated me like garbage ever since she first got pregnant with my brother. Just some serious wicked stepmother behavior. Anyways, she of course treats her biological children better.

She delegates all the chores onto me, and if they’re not done perfectly I get in huge trouble. She prioritizes chores over homework and it takes hours for me to complete all my chores. I often have to stay up very late to complete my homework (I’m an AP student, so it’s a lot of homework and studying).

I really do love my siblings, almost as thought they’re my own children. But they act like brats. They also mimic my mother’s behaviors towards me and are often cruel to me as well. (My brother actually concerns me quite a bit. I worry about what he’s going to grow up to become.)

It’s usually directed at me, because in this household anyone can get away with any behavior, so long as it’s directed at me. They also purposefully get me in trouble, despite the fact that I go out of my way not to snitch on them and instead gently scold them and explain how they can do better, because I hate watching them get in trouble.

My brother is old enough to receive chores now, but refuses to ever do them. Whenever he refuses do them, my mom makes me do it instead. But if he wants to do a chore, (such as when he was supposed to feed my cat), I’ll get in trouble for doing it. And so when he doesn’t do it, I can no longer do it in his stead.

Today he was tasked with cleaning his room. It looks like hell in there by the way, I can’t even see the floor. I had spent the entire day cleaning my ass off and studying for my AP World History quiz on Monday, so I had a migraine soon enough. My mom walked into his room, saw how messy it still was, and, I kid you not, barged into my room and demanded to know why it was still a mess.

I told her it had been his job to clean his room. I did all of my chores. My room was spotless. She was pissed and ripped up the drawing I had been working on for days now, claiming that it was hers because the materials were bought with her money. (My dad bought the sketchbook but whatever.)

Anyways, it sparked a huge yelling match where I argued that he was plenty old enough to clean his own room. She said he was my little brother and I was supposed to do everything for him. He’s too young to know better, after all! And besides, it’s my house. My rules!!

I refused to clean it, absolutely done with her bullshit. She took away quite a few of my things and gave me another migraine with all her bitch whining. AITA for refusing to help my 7 year old brother?

1247
 
 
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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Foreign_Water7995 on 2024-01-07 18:47:28+00:00.


I own my house but live next door to a family of four, renting it from the owner. The owner left me and the other neighbours his contact details as it's an investment property, and it's in case we wanted to make any complaints. 8 months ago, my neighbours got a dog. They still need to train the dog. I'm not a dog owner, and I know that dogs do bark, but one of the issues was this dog barked constantly day and night. The main issue is since they've got the dog, they've let him out to do a wee and poo every day, but they've never picked the dog poo up; their garden is literally covered in poo. The stench was so putrid that I went over on two separate occasions to have the same conversation, I asked them if they could pick up their dog poo as it stinks so bad I can't have my windows open often and if they could just train their dog, they weren't exactly thrilled about this but said they see what they could do about it.

Yes, it's wintertime, but although the smell has died down because of the cold, I can still smell it. As I've spoken to them on two separate occasions, I decided they would be the same for the third time. Sometime in December, I texted the owner of the property to make a complaint regarding the dog poo. I explained the situation to him, and he texted back and said he's finally given up and would be looking to evict them. He's explained that numerous residents have been contacting him and even sent photos of their garden. He's sent them warning letters and done everything he can to resolve the issue. The garden is completely grass; it's ruined, and he'll need to fork out money to redo this garden and put it back into the nice state it should have been in.

I feel bad for both parties involved as the landlord has to spend money on fixing his property, but I feel guilty that the family is being evicted, and it's only the beginning of 2024. A few days ago, the family next door knocked on my door yelling at me, saying they'd been served an eviction notice and saying they knew it was because of me. I'm someone who does stick up for myself and wasn't ashamed to say it was. They went home and had a rant on Facebook (An app I don't use). How I found this out is because my sister has a friend who is a mutual friend of the family; my sister's friend screenshotted the post and sent it to my sister. She sent it to me via WhatsApp. She thinks I'm an asshole, and it's begun to get into a great big thing. Fellow residents don't think I'm an asshole but a lot of my sister's friends who don't know me and my sister think I'm an asshole because I caused an eviction and only 2024.

Personally, I wasn't looking at getting them evicted when I messaged the owner of the property. I was hoping he'd have some powers to force them to clean up. AITA for causing a family to be evicted? I feel guilty for both parties involved.

1248
 
 
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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Terrible-Speaker7778 on 2024-01-07 17:32:36+00:00.


My parents divorced when I (17M) was 2. My mom remarried last year after being with my stepdad since I was 5. My dad, however, has been remarried three times since and was in 6 other live in relationships. The last marriage stuck better than the others and they celebrated their 4th wedding anniversary in June. I was 13 when dad married his wife. He only introduced me to her after they got engaged. I think she was the other woman in his third marriage. But I can't be sure. I do know he cheated on his ex-wife though and they were only married for like 18 months before she was gone.

I still remember him introducing her and her boys who were 2 and 4 at the time. I know people will suggest the youngest at least must be dad's but he's biracial and both my dad and his wife are white so I really don't think so. They were saying how we were going to be a family and she told me her boys would really love a big brother. I was not super enthusiastic and really didn't like that I was being called a big brother to two random kids. They married five months later and a week later my dad forced me to babysit the boys so they could go on a date. The next week I was at his house he forced me to babysit so she could go shopping for a few hours. His wife told me it was a great chance for us to bond and I don't think she or my dad were happy when I basically just sat there during the day or left them in bed at night when babysitting. I didn't want to do it and I told my dad and he said it was tough luck. After the instability my dad provided after his divorce from my mom and the fact I felt like he basically gave me the biggest f u since he didn't even give me the chance to meet them before he got serious. I asked my mom if she would fight for custody of me and she did and won. We had a lot of the instability and my age to thank for that.

My dad really tried to keep me involved even though I was living with mom and he tried to get me to babysit a few more times before finally giving up that angle. But now it's been years and he's upset that I don't act like I'm part of his family and have not made an effort to know his stepkids. He called my mom about graduation after Christmas and he got really annoyed when he heard there were going to be limited spaces and I had already claimed my share. I saw him new years eve at my grandparents party and he approached me and told me how disappointed he was that things had failed. He tried to drag my grandparents into the conversation too. Then he said "it's like our family failed because I made you babysit once or twice" and I told him it was a big reason since I hardly knew his wife or her kids and he made it clear my opinion and comfort meant nothing to him. His stepkids were there so he got pissed at me for confirming it. I told him he shouldn't have said it so and he should have left me alone.

AITA?

1249
 
 
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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/RoutineMeat2729 on 2024-01-07 18:40:31+00:00.


I (16F) live with my dad, stepmom, and my 3 younger half siblings. I love them to death. The oldest of them is my brother (7M).

My stepmom has treated me like garbage ever since she first got pregnant with my brother. Just some serious wicked stepmother behavior. Anyways, she of course treats her biological children better.

She delegates all the chores onto me, and if they’re not done perfectly I get in huge trouble. She prioritizes chores over homework and it takes hours for me to complete all my chores. I often have to stay up very late to complete my homework (I’m an AP student, so it’s a lot of homework and studying).

I really do love my siblings, almost as thought they’re my own children. But they act like brats. They also mimic my mother’s behaviors towards me and are often cruel to me as well. (My brother actually concerns me quite a bit. I worry about what he’s going to grow up to become.)

It’s usually directed at me, because in this household anyone can get away with any behavior, so long as it’s directed at me. They also purposefully get me in trouble, despite the fact that I go out of my way not to snitch on them and instead gently scold them and explain how they can do better, because I hate watching them get in trouble.

My brother is old enough to receive chores now, but refuses to ever do them. Whenever he refuses do them, my mom makes me do it instead. But if he wants to do a chore, (such as when he was supposed to feed my cat), I’ll get in trouble for doing it. And so when he doesn’t do it, I can no longer do it in his stead.

Today he was tasked with cleaning his room. It looks like hell in there by the way, I can’t even see the floor. I had spent the entire day cleaning my ass off and studying for my AP World History quiz on Monday, so I had a migraine soon enough. My mom walked into his room, saw how messy it still was, and, I kid you not, barged into my room and demanded to know why it was still a mess.

I told her it had been his job to clean his room. I did all of my chores. My room was spotless. She was pissed and ripped up the drawing I had been working on for days now, claiming that it was hers because the materials were bought with her money. (My dad bought the sketchbook but whatever.)

Anyways, it sparked a huge yelling match where I argued that he was plenty old enough to clean his own room. She said he was my little brother and I was supposed to do everything for him. He’s too young to know better, after all! And besides, it’s my house. My rules!!

I refused to clean it, absolutely done with her bullshit. She took away quite a few of my things and gave me another migraine with all her bitch whining. AITA for refusing to help my 7 year old brother?

1250
 
 
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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/randomlittleflower on 2024-01-07 17:01:23+00:00.


I (22f) was on a flight yesterday and noticed someone in my seat. A man (40s?m) was sitting next to his wife and daughter. I kindly asked him to move as he was sitting in the seat I specifically booked and paid more for (I'm mostly comfortable sitting in isle seats).

He refused to move and told me to move to his seat which was a middle seat. I told him I don't do middle seats and he got mad telling me over and over again that he was sitting next to family and that the airline had messed up his seating. A flight attendant came over and "forced" him to move to his seat.

Here's why I feel like the asshole: It was a very short flight (less than two hours) and his daughter looked really sad that her dad wouldn't be sitting near even though she had her mother sitting there with her. They were also giving me dirty looks throughout the whole flight.

So, am I the asshole?

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