Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Terrible-Speaker7778 on 2024-01-07 17:32:36+00:00.

My parents divorced when I (17M) was 2. My mom remarried last year after being with my stepdad since I was 5. My dad, however, has been remarried three times since and was in 6 other live in relationships. The last marriage stuck better than the others and they celebrated their 4th wedding anniversary in June. I was 13 when dad married his wife. He only introduced me to her after they got engaged. I think she was the other woman in his third marriage. But I can't be sure. I do know he cheated on his ex-wife though and they were only married for like 18 months before she was gone.

I still remember him introducing her and her boys who were 2 and 4 at the time. I know people will suggest the youngest at least must be dad's but he's biracial and both my dad and his wife are white so I really don't think so. They were saying how we were going to be a family and she told me her boys would really love a big brother. I was not super enthusiastic and really didn't like that I was being called a big brother to two random kids. They married five months later and a week later my dad forced me to babysit the boys so they could go on a date. The next week I was at his house he forced me to babysit so she could go shopping for a few hours. His wife told me it was a great chance for us to bond and I don't think she or my dad were happy when I basically just sat there during the day or left them in bed at night when babysitting. I didn't want to do it and I told my dad and he said it was tough luck. After the instability my dad provided after his divorce from my mom and the fact I felt like he basically gave me the biggest f u since he didn't even give me the chance to meet them before he got serious. I asked my mom if she would fight for custody of me and she did and won. We had a lot of the instability and my age to thank for that.

My dad really tried to keep me involved even though I was living with mom and he tried to get me to babysit a few more times before finally giving up that angle. But now it's been years and he's upset that I don't act like I'm part of his family and have not made an effort to know his stepkids. He called my mom about graduation after Christmas and he got really annoyed when he heard there were going to be limited spaces and I had already claimed my share. I saw him new years eve at my grandparents party and he approached me and told me how disappointed he was that things had failed. He tried to drag my grandparents into the conversation too. Then he said "it's like our family failed because I made you babysit once or twice" and I told him it was a big reason since I hardly knew his wife or her kids and he made it clear my opinion and comfort meant nothing to him. His stepkids were there so he got pissed at me for confirming it. I told him he shouldn't have said it so and he should have left me alone.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/randomlittleflower on 2024-01-07 17:01:23+00:00.

I (22f) was on a flight yesterday and noticed someone in my seat. A man (40s?m) was sitting next to his wife and daughter. I kindly asked him to move as he was sitting in the seat I specifically booked and paid more for (I'm mostly comfortable sitting in isle seats).

He refused to move and told me to move to his seat which was a middle seat. I told him I don't do middle seats and he got mad telling me over and over again that he was sitting next to family and that the airline had messed up his seating. A flight attendant came over and "forced" him to move to his seat.

Here's why I feel like the asshole: It was a very short flight (less than two hours) and his daughter looked really sad that her dad wouldn't be sitting near even though she had her mother sitting there with her. They were also giving me dirty looks throughout the whole flight.

So, am I the asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/EnvironmentalAd8505 on 2024-01-07 16:25:08+00:00.

I (27, F) work at a grocery store, for privacy reasons I'm not listing which one. On this particular day we were quite busy so instead of monitoring the floor I hopped on a register. A woman jumped in line and she had a small Pomeranian in a red service vest sitting in her cart with her. "Alright, no big deal I'll just make sure to sanitize the cart before after she leaves." I'm ringing up groceries and I can hear the dog lowly growling at something, it's me. I ignore it and continue scanning. Once finished she was having issues with her gift card so I needed to come around the counter to assist. Well once I got near the dog it started barking at me. I stepped back and told her she needed to calm her dog down while I manually fixed the issue on the other end of the computer. She informed me that her dog can be nervous and doesn't like new people. Once I finish her transaction I go to hand her the receipt and the dog jumps half way out of the cart and tried to bite me. I drop her card and recipet on the table and told her that she needed to pack her items up and leave. And for future reference her dog wouldn't be allowed back in the store without being properly behaved. She started yelling at me telling me that her dog was a service dog and was allowed to be anywhere she was. She wanted my manager and I got my superior to come over. At this point the dog is shaking and growling as she shuffling to put her groceries in a bag. She tells the manager I am discriminating against her and banned her dog. I explain the dog has been growling and barking at me and tried to bite me. The manager had been hearing barking echoing through the store and knew it was this dog. She was told that her dog wouldn't be allowed back unless she could control it from trying to bite the employees. Further thoughts: I have no idea if this dog was a service animal and didn't think to ask what tasks it was trained for. However, no service dog should be trying to bite people and bark at employees due to safety. She didn't even try to calm her dog down while it was barking. AITA for banning a woman's "service dog" from the store?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/EnvironmentalAd8505 on 2024-01-07 16:25:08+00:00.

I (27, F) work at a grocery store, for privacy reasons I'm not listing which one. On this particular day we were quite busy so instead of monitoring the floor I hopped on a register. A woman jumped in line and she had a small Pomeranian in a red service vest sitting in her cart with her. "Alright, no big deal I'll just make sure to sanitize the cart before after she leaves." I'm ringing up groceries and I can hear the dog lowly growling at something, it's me. I ignore it and continue scanning. Once finished she was having issues with her gift card so I needed to come around the counter to assist. Well once I got near the dog it started barking at me. I stepped back and told her she needed to calm her dog down while I manually fixed the issue on the other end of the computer. She informed me that her dog can be nervous and doesn't like new people. Once I finish her transaction I go to hand her the receipt and the dog jumps half way out of the cart and tried to bite me. I drop her card and recipet on the table and told her that she needed to pack her items up and leave. And for future reference her dog wouldn't be allowed back in the store without being properly behaved. She started yelling at me telling me that her dog was a service dog and was allowed to be anywhere she was. She wanted my manager and I got my superior to come over. At this point the dog is shaking and growling as she shuffling to put her groceries in a bag. She tells the manager I am discriminating against her and banned her dog. I explain the dog has been growling and barking at me and tried to bite me. The manager had been hearing barking echoing through the store and knew it was this dog. She was told that her dog wouldn't be allowed back unless she could control it from trying to bite the employees. Further thoughts: I have no idea if this dog was a service animal and didn't think to ask what tasks it was trained for. However, no service dog should be trying to bite people and bark at employees due to safety. She didn't even try to calm her dog down while it was barking. AITA for banning a woman's "service dog" from the store?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Soggy_Wolf7011 on 2024-01-07 16:15:48+00:00.

WIBTA if I didn't buy internet for my kids cruise trip

We're planning on a 7 day summer cruise In the pacific with all of our kids during summer break as it's summer for us. we've never been on a cruise like this so all of us were excited and we booked in advance so got it for pretty cheap.

We have two twin 12 year olds and a 11 year old daughter and a 14 year old daughter

They want access to internet so they can access social media and play games on their phones but it costs 20 dollars per person per night and I don't know if it's honestly worth it My wife isn't even getting it but my kids badly want wifi it would cost 560 dollars to get wifi for all of them and I don't think it's worth it But my kids want it badly and my daughters are saying they'll be bored and ruin the trip

I personally don't think it's worth it as they don't need it and its too expensive would be some time for them to disconnect I'm personally considering not getting the package myself but my daughters are angry that I'm refusing to get the package.

If this were a shorter cruise I would easily have said no but since this is a whole week of no communication with freinds and social media I'm considering getting the package although we haven't decided yet.

My wife is strongly against getting the package I talked to my mother and brother and both of them are saying I should get the Package and that my daughters would miss out a lot socially if I didn't.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Ok-Blueberry8201 on 2024-01-07 16:00:44+00:00.

I 48f and my husband 46m have good high paying jobs which have allowed us to model our dream house to our liking which also has a barn in the back which is fully furnished. Mary (husband’s sister) and Jake ( her fiancé) now want to have their wedding at our barn outback which is okay for me as they said they will help cleaning up, taking care of things etc. But they asked us if they can remove all the things in the barn as it’s not their taste. Now me and my husband like bright popping colors. So the barn looks like a rainbow threw up inside and I was fine with since our taste isn’t as the same as everyone else. But then it got to the kicker they want us to remove practically all our furniture and paint the walls differently?!! in our house since guests will apparently be coming and going and “ they don’t need to see that rubbish” Mary’s words. I think that’s entitled and said Mary could then find a different venue if she wasn’t happy and I don’t need someone insulting our house like that. My husband agrees with me since he also thinks it’s entitled. But now family members have been saying we are cruel and don’t care about other people as Mary and Jake don’t have that much money to spend. Its gotten a little bit to my head and now I’m reconsidering my decision. Aita? UPDATE: The wedding isn’t happening anymore, my husband and I don’t feel like dealing with their nonsense especially if Mary feels like she has the right to try to bash me in the comments and make her own posts. We have been uninvited and we have each other blocked on everything. Thank you everyone!

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/macafail on 2024-01-07 15:48:46+00:00.

My friend 39f June brought her 8yo son Steven over to my house today. June and I were just chatting over a cup of tea when there was a scream from the kitchen and we rushed to find that Steven had tried to eat a whole macadamia nut with shell. For context the nut is a white nut surrounded by the hardest and most smooth chocolate looking shell you've ever seen. He'd obviously thought it was chocolate and tried to eaten it from a closed Tupperware Container on the kitchen island (Was going to cracking them with a hammer later). My friend first admonished Steven for eating something obviously not meant for him and took him to emergency dental where she later learned he has cracked one of his molars and it was apparently quite bad. Apparently as its still his first set of teeth they will just be pulling it out but she wants me to pay for at least half as it was my macadamia and it was on the kitchen island and accessible. aita

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Visticus on 2024-01-07 14:27:35+00:00.

So I(21m) am in my last year of college. My friend Dan(21m) has been by my side since we were in the sixth grade. Last year I started to develop a crush on this girl. I barely talked to her and I had like one class with her. So One day I told Dan that i liked this girl and I asked him if i should ask her out. He told me that I should move on because i have no chance with this girl, and the day after he went over to her and told her that I liked her. Obviously I was kinda pissed at him because from then on things were awkward between me and the girl. I was always anxious when I was around her and there was really nothing I could do. Around 5 months later my Dan broke up with his girlfriend at the time and when I asked him why he did this he told me it was because he started to like the girl who i have liked for around 9 months now. This is when I realised I had to step up my game because Dan can pretty much get any girl he wants and girls think I'm a nerd and a loser.

I started talking to her more but I got the feeling she didn't want anything to do with me. I started to question if there was something wrong with me. Dan on the other hand was becoming best friends with this girl. I was starting to get a bit frustrated at how easy it was for my friend to make this girl like him. One day he was chatting with this girl and she started talking about how weird she thought i was and how she would never date me. At this point I was confused as to how I ever ended up liking this girl in the first place. Anyways around october Dan told me about how he told this girl he liked her and how she felt the same way. He decided to tell me that it was up to me if he gets to date her or not. I was definitely upset that he asked her out, but I was mostly upset that he was doing this all behind my back. So I told him I didn't want him to date her. Looking back at this now I think I might be the asshole considering I've really only thought about my own feelings when I made that decision. Anyways he did hookup with her a bunch of times behind my back after he promised he wouldn't but he doesn't know that I know that.

Looking back at this now I think I might be the asshole considering I've really only thought about my own feelings when I made that decision.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Ok_Resident9237 on 2024-01-07 14:22:14+00:00.

My husband and I have been together for 13 years and we have 1 child together. Cheating has never been an issue in our relationship. We don’t monitor each other’s whereabouts and there’s never been any issue with being worried about what the other person is doing. Anyway, my husband likes to go to garage sales sometimes. He’s a very outgoing person and will easily strike up a conversation with someone. A couple of weeks ago he was at a garage sale and started talking to the woman who lives there. She was selling all of her ex’s stuff, who had left her without any notice. Apparently, the ex had broken his back a year prior, she took care of him, he got addicted to prescription medications and developed a drug problem. Then he stopped paying rent and left her with the house, which the lease was up on anyway, and he just left her. Fast forward to the garage sale where my husband is at. She tells him this story, he feels bad for her, and starts helping her sort through all this stuff because she has to be out of this house soon to move back in with her mom. He goes back and helps her again the following day. A week goes by, so yesterday she contacted him, asking if he would come over and help her again because apparently the ex broke into the house and trashed the place. Here’s the part I don’t like: This is the last weekend she has to move out, so he was at her house until 5am helping her. I’ve made it clear to him that I don’t think this is appropriate. She’s practically a stranger and what he’s doing is, in my opinion, above and beyond just helping a neighbor. He’s now back over there again helping to finish up what didn’t get done. He knows I am extremely upset about this, but it seems like my feelings about this aren’t important to him. He says I’m being ridiculous. So AITA for getting upset?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ThrowRaGreenAndy on 2024-01-07 14:19:56+00:00.

My girlfriend likes to "joke" on me and I don't like her jokes at all. I'm not the most educated guy, and I don't know the answers to many questions in the school program. My girlfriend asks me these questions every day to make fun of me. I realize they are simple questions, like why leaves are green or why most colorblind people are male, but I don't know the answers. My girlfriend makes fun of me for it, which makes me feel insecure. If I tell her about it, she replies that I'm too sensitive and unmasculine and she was just kidding.

She used to ask these questions rarely, then more and more often, and now she attacks me with these questions several times a day. I feel stupid and belittled.

I decided to show her how much I dislike her jokes, I hoped she would understand. Today at lunch I didn't wait for her to start asking questions first and asked "Do you know what Greenwich Mean Time is?" (geography is the only science I know more or less well). She looked so confused that I didn't laugh at her, but explained what Greenwich Mean Time is and how it determines time zones.

A few hours later, I asked where the deepest well on Earth was located. My girlfriend cried and said I was a total asshole for choosing to do that to her.

I feel like I went overboard.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Friendly_Captain_844 on 2024-01-07 14:12:25+00:00.

Lately I (26m) and my wife (34f) have been getting into more fights and I keep making a constant connection between our fights and her phone/reality t.v. usage. Many of our arguments are over small meaningless things that could be improved through a simple conversation. I think to myself that maybe there is something underlying this emotional drive to argue, so I have meditated only to conclude that we simply don’t have anything big between us. My direct approach of questioning her about her emotions thereafter came to no fruition either, so now I’m stuck pondering. After giving it a little more thought I realized she typically watches a few episodes of her shows (bachelor nation/love is blind) and comes out of the room for a few minutes before arguing about petty things such as what I’m doing (school work), how long I’ve been doing it (about the same amount of time she’d been in the room), and what isn’t done. At this point my nerves tighten and heart race when she walks past me to get to the kitchen now. She is on her phone constantly on instagram, TikTok, and other stuff. I use Reddit sometimes (obviously), because it can be useful and subtle (as I don’t like communication platforms with my name directly attached). Other than that I do not use my phone, in fact I am terrible at responding to texts most of the time (except for my wife’s). I’ve noticed that the phrases and terminology used in her tv shows invades our conversations such as “on the same page”. I’ve asked what that means only to have her run in circles with the conversation until we are both thoroughly confused. “On the same page” to her simply means “you’re not doing things the way I like and you are causing those problems so fix it”. I’ve confronted that too only to be met with “no” and anger. She wishes for constant excitement and wants me to facilitate that need. I think that (with love and honesty) a combination of short attention span and creative thinking has been the problem. Her phone and tv shows as “hobby’s” are suspect in my eyes, and she does those two things constantly. I think a meaningful conversation can be hard sometimes too. Once I realized she changes the subject and averts my attention to something else almost every time I try to talk to her about my day or her day, I called these problems out. I proposed that we should do more talking. She was not happy and ended up saying YTA. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Odd_One_1217 on 2024-01-07 13:17:40+00:00.

My family is a big mix of blood and adoption. My parents have three bio kids and five adopted kids. I (25f) fall on the younger side of the family and I'm adopted. This conflict is with my sister Anya (28f) who is also adopted. Anya was adopted as an infant from her mom. Not through an agency but through a social worker. I was adopted from foster care. My parents got me when I was 4 and had adopted me by the time I was 6. We had a very close and happy home growing up and Anya and one of our brother's who was adopted always wondered about their birth families. Anya found her birth mom two years ago. Her mom was very young and very poor and placed her for adoption because she could not take care of her. The two of them have become very close.

In getting close to her birth mom, Anya has come to hate adoption and she has become very outspoken that adoption should be illegal. She has claimed all forms of adoption should be illegal and are cruel and steal so much from humans. She has expressed anger at our parents for adopting her instead of helping her birth mother, despite them never being told the circumstances of her being placed for adoption. She has brought up petitions to our family and shared one she signed asking for people to consider adoption illegal and cruel and to keep all children with blood relatives no matter what the financial cost is. This has become so much of who she is now.

And she has pushed a lot of the family away. Including me and our brother who also found his birth family. I was taken from awful birth parents and awful blood family. Without adoption I would never have belonged anywhere. I would still be connected to those awful people. Adoption is very special to me. I can acknowledge the awful sides of it and still say that adoption gave me everything. This is not true for everyone and I can understand it. But the blanket statements my sister has made and the lack of pausing to consider my circumstances or our brother's (who's birth family were disgusted to learn he was gay and were awful to him) when making these statements to us is not going to fill us with warm fuzzies about her.

I pulled away and I do not really speak to Anya much now. I am civil but she now feels the difference and she has been upset and asked me why I'm pulling away and treating her different since she found her birth mom. I told her it's nothing to do with her finding her birth mom and everything to do with her anti-adoption stance and how vocal she is about it. I said she should know as well as the rest of our family that a stance like that would have consequences with me since it means she is saying I deserved to have nobody. She argued that I was twisting her words and told me I was being really unfair.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/throwra867_u on 2024-01-07 13:58:49+00:00.

I have been working at my current job for 18 months and there were 4 people that started with me doing the same job I do. Since the job is primarily working from home, we all live in different towns so don't really get the chance to meet up but we all get on well.

One of the people who started with me, lets call her Rebecca, lives in the same town as me. We get on really well and she has given me a lift to work a couple of times when we've both needed to go into the office since I do not currently have a car.

We all have exams to complete through work which ended last month and we got the results last week. All of us had passed so I suggested to everyone that we go for a meal or drinks to celebrate. Everyone said it was a great idea but wouldn't be able to due to travel. Rebecca said it was a good idea and she could make it but that meant it was only the two of us.

I mentioned this to my gf and invited her along and Rebecca's bf got invited but my gf declined the invite. Rebecca's bf was away with work but messaged me to say he appreciated the invite. My gf said it was weird that I was planning to go for drinks with another woman but I just pointed out she was invited and is choosing not to come.

She just said I should not be drinking one on one with another woman and that I should cancel. I refused since I was looking forward to celebrating passing my exams. My gf said I was being disrespectful and that I should not be going.

AITA for going for drinks with a co-worker?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/mitchrob100 on 2024-01-07 13:57:43+00:00.

For some background, last December 2022, my grandmother fell in the middle of the night because she was hammered. She ended hitting her head pretty bad. Sent her to the hospital. This incident really terrified me and my mother. At that point, we and the doctor told her no more alcohol. She did end up stopping for about a month.

Then she started telling people, "I'm allowed to have a beer or two". We still refused to purchase alcohol for her to this point. Eventually I started noticing her getting pretty drunk every night as well as hiding the alcohol from us. She's aware of how we feel about her use and we had many long discussions about it.

Fast forward to the night of New Year's, my (23) sister (35) overdosed, she had been an addict for years. It has been pretty traumatic for all of my family, especially for me, my mom and gma.

I have know or had a deep suspicion that she was getting the driver (she goes to an elderly rec center a few times a week) to stop at the liquor store for her. She has messed up and let that info slip out a couple times.

About a week after my sisters death(yesterday night), running on pure emotion I guess, I called the bus driver and asked him is he take her to the liquor store. I realize I could have spoken with my gma more directly instead of calling him behind her back. Well, she really was not happy I called him. She flipped out on me. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Novel_Box3156 on 2024-01-07 12:45:55+00:00.

My (15M) parents gave my sister (16F), brother (13M) and me nature names and more specifically. Water nature names. My sister is Ocean, I'm Cove and my brother is River. They wanted our names to have a theme without being matchy with the same initial so we got our names. The story was told to us when we were little and my parents were proud of the names they gave us.

Back when we were all stuck at home my parents started to express regret about their choices for us. They actually told us over dinner one night that they wish they had given us better names and apologized for making us live with the names we were given. A few months after that apology my mom and dad told us they wanted us to be Elizabeth (sister), James (me) and Michael (brother). They said since we were kids and weren't in college yet and nobody had their license at that point it would be the best time to do it. All three of us said we didn't want to change our first names. My dad looked into whether they could do it when we said no and all answers he got pointed to a very strong no. But it was also unusual to change your older kids first name so they went ahead and tried anyway but once we were asked if we wanted different names they were told no.

My parents brought it up a lot to us afterward. My brother asked why they wanted to name him Michael and said the name was crappy. They told him Michael was a timeless name that would age well and gave him some nickname choices. He said he hated it. So they asked if he would consider Charles instead which he said was an even bigger no. Our parents focused really hard on him for a while because he had asked the question about the name so they figured he was the most open.

So far none of us have agreed to the name change. I told my parents that I know they regret the names but we're all used to and like our names and don't want to go for more boring and common names. My parents argued that in the future we will regret it and we'd have to pay for it ourselves when we're adults and we realize having weird names does not age well. I asked why they can't let us get there if we ever do. They said we should be thinking more of our futures and they accused me of having a really bad attitude because I said James was as bad to me as Cove is to them now. They told me to look online and I did and I saw a lot of hate for our names. But I told them it still didn't change my mind.

My parents said we should respect them enough as parents to allow this and that we're all being disrespectful. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Big-doubt-3 on 2024-01-07 13:54:05+00:00.

We work a retail job. Our job lets us "exchange" shifts through the app - if someone doesn't want their shift, they can give it up and let someone take it on a first come first serve basis.

My coworker is a very rich guy. He's a student and the only reason, as he admitted, that he took this job is because he wanted something fun to do and because college is boring so far. He's said that he doesn't need the money at all because his parents are rich and they buy him whatever he wants including the awesome car he's driving now. He has like 6 figures in his bank account right now because his parents just give him money whenever he wants. So the few hundred dollars he gets every two weeks is essentially nothing to him - he practically would notice no change since its such a tiny amount compared to the money he has...

So I was on break with him and he showed me a shift that's available on the app. He said he wasn't doing anything that day so he would take that shift.

I told him that our other coworkers are struggling unlike him, and they simply aren't getting enough shifts because there aren't that many available. Some of us work two jobs and still don't get enough hours. This isn't just some theory, I can count so many people I work with that are basically begging for shifts but these days corporate hasn't been offering any. Yes they should switch jobs but in the meantime, they still need to work.

I told him that he should let someone who really needs the hours to take that shift, instead of taking it himself. He told me that it's not his problem and we had an argument over this. I think what he's doing is crappy. He told me that I should basically mind my business and he's gonna take the shift regardless. He's angry that I take issue with this but I don't think he understands what other coworkers are going through.

I work full time here, fortunately so I get 40 hours always, and I see this kid 3 times a week, so I don't think he'll be that affected without this particular shift

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Acceptable-Bunch3664 on 2024-01-07 13:36:10+00:00.

There's this professor, Shelly (F47), who teaches at my (M21) uni, and I can safely say without a doubt that she is my favourite teacher ever. Shelly is knowledgeable, kind, well respected in her field, and, most importantly, wants her students to succeed. I have a close relationship with her for several reasons. Firstly, during my second year when I fell ill during my December exams, she helped me get accommodations, which was very difficult since two of my makeups were at the same time. I also worked under her as a research assistant this past summer, and she has written me a reference letter. In my honest opinion, I think Shelly is an exceptional person whom I'm very lucky to know.

Essentially, all my friends, and like 90% of her students, don't see this, however. They all think Shelly is a professor who gives very difficult exams and doesn't explain things well. Ngl, more than the guys, it's girls who dislike Shelly. They criticize her for the most ridiculous reasons like the way she dresses or how she speaks. I find it hilarious as many of these same girls who hate Shelly swoon for her husband, Scot (M44), who also teaches at our uni. He's okay, I guess. I don't think he likes me very much, but that's not relevant.

Last night, I was chilling with some of my friends. There were eight of us (3 guys, 5 girls). Two of the girls, Chelsea (F21) and Brenda (F21), brought up the last exam we wrote under Shelly. This just triggered an avalanche of criticism towards Shelly, everything from "How is she still teaching?" to "She wore that sweater before." Ngl, when people criticize Shelly, I get a little defensive, so I started saying things like how exams were meant to challenge us, that's why Shelly made it like that, and she had a nice sweater, so I'd probably wear it multiple times as well. It got to a point where it was 4 girls and 1 guy against Shelly, me defending Shelly, and two neutrals.

I'll say that Brenda and especially Chelsea get triggered whenever I say something positive about Shelly. Chelsea started saying things like I wear rose-coloured glasses whenever Shelly is discussed and that since I was one of Shelly's top 5 favourite students of all time, my opinion wasn't valid. I told her that these were ridiculous accusations, and then she straight up said that I was probably in love with Shelly since I act so fanatical about her. Trust me, I get this accusation multiple times, but I never deny it because I feel like whoever's levelling it will get some sort of satisfaction from that. So, I then jokingly asked Chelsea why she'd say that and that maybe she was feeling jealous.

Chelsea looked pretty furious at this, but thankfully the neutrals spoke up, and we moved to another topic. Later, one of the guys texts me and says that maybe I should apologize to Chelsea since she's probably still upset about our conversation. I refused and told him that Chelsea would probably get over it on her own.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/MythicalWave on 2024-01-07 10:58:04+00:00.

For background, I (21F) was diagnosed with lymphatic cancer last year, and have since undergone 8 months of hell getting chemo, and surgeries. I am about three months out from my last chemo session, and about a month and half out from my last surgery Post chemo, I was, and still have a very hard time with my energy levels. Subsequently, i have gotten into sedentary hobbies IE video games, reading and writing, since i can do them even when my energy dips.

My younger sister (19F) and I got into a fight over what was honestly incredibly stupid, but she has always been quick to anger, and I was already in a poor mood, so my attitude didn’t help. (i’ll give details, but they don’t feel relevant) She has also been one to snap very aggressively when angry, but she made a comment that I have deemed too far.

She called me a “lazy piece of shit” because I didn’t do much physical these days, and still haven’t gotten a job post chemo. she shouted out me about how i needed to get off my ass and get a job, and stop being a lazy bum. She told me i don’t do anything, just sit at home all day and be lazy. when i pointed out that all of this was because my body is still recovering from being racked from chemo, and she said that it was “months ago” (3 months) and that i needed to stop using it as an excuse to be lazy. I told her (well i was yelling - admittedly) that it wasn’t that long ago, and that it takes a very long time to recover from chemo, and i probably never fully will. she didn’t think this was a real answer, and just told me that i should be “over it” by now.

i feel like this doesn’t sound like much, but it is important to note that all throughout my treatment i have really struggled with my lack of ability to do anything. I have felt so useless and weak, and i have pushed myself farther than i should have, and got myself sick over it, too. I decided to listen to my body and rest when i need to, which seems like a lot to her, i guess. but i don’t enjoy this. All of my hobbies pre-chemo were active, riding horses, running, hiking, archery, and i can barely do any of them. I constantly feel like a useless unproductive slug, and to have her say that has mentally fucked me up.

I always blamed my sisters nasty comments on her age, or the fact that she’s the youngest and got no parenting, but she’s getting older now and this comment feels inexcusable. Even at 19 i never would have dreamt of saying that to someone in my position, and I honestly feel like I can’t forgive her . At least, not unless she gives me a genuine apology, which she has no intention of doing, in fact she doubled down on her statement s.

My family thinks i’m over-reacting, and that I shouldn’t burn down our relationship over this, They think its just unnecessary discourse, but i can’t get over it. she knew what it meant, and still doesn’t care. AITA? Am I taking it too far?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Odd_One_1217 on 2024-01-07 13:17:40+00:00.

My family is a big mix of blood and adoption. My parents have three bio kids and five adopted kids. I (25f) fall on the younger side of the family and I'm adopted. This conflict is with my sister Anya (28f) who is also adopted. Anya was adopted as an infant from her mom. Not through an agency but through a social worker. I was adopted from foster care. My parents got me when I was 4 and had adopted me by the time I was 6. We had a very close and happy home growing up and Anya and one of our brother's who was adopted always wondered about their birth families. Anya found her birth mom two years ago. Her mom was very young and very poor and placed her for adoption because she could not take care of her. The two of them have become very close.

In getting close to her birth mom, Anya has come to hate adoption and she has become very outspoken that adoption should be illegal. She has claimed all forms of adoption should be illegal and are cruel and steal so much from humans. She has expressed anger at our parents for adopting her instead of helping her birth mother, despite them never being told the circumstances of her being placed for adoption. She has brought up petitions to our family and shared one she signed asking for people to consider adoption illegal and cruel and to keep all children with blood relatives no matter what the financial cost is. This has become so much of who she is now.

And she has pushed a lot of the family away. Including me and our brother who also found his birth family. I was taken from awful birth parents and awful blood family. Without adoption I would never have belonged anywhere. I would still be connected to those awful people. Adoption is very special to me. I can acknowledge the awful sides of it and still say that adoption gave me everything. This is not true for everyone and I can understand it. But the blanket statements my sister has made and the lack of pausing to consider my circumstances or our brother's (who's birth family were disgusted to learn he was gay and were awful to him) when making these statements to us is not going to fill us with warm fuzzies about her.

I pulled away and I do not really speak to Anya much now. I am civil but she now feels the difference and she has been upset and asked me why I'm pulling away and treating her different since she found her birth mom. I told her it's nothing to do with her finding her birth mom and everything to do with her anti-adoption stance and how vocal she is about it. I said she should know as well as the rest of our family that a stance like that would have consequences with me since it means she is saying I deserved to have nobody. She argued that I was twisting her words and told me I was being really unfair.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/WiseEstimate208t on 2024-01-07 10:10:24+00:00.

My brother has a 14yo daughter and a 16yo stepson.

He got married a few months ago and one of the first things that his wife did was reducing his custody time. He went from having full custody to being the every other weekend parent. This obviously hurts my niece so much especially when she sees how close her dad is to her stepbrother and how much time they spend together.

This has caused her to resent her stepbrother and she gets very jealous when we pay any attention to him and starts crying because she is afraid we will love him more than we love her.

So in order to make her feel better we have kinda been ignoring him. We haven't been mean or anything like that we just don't include him when we invite the rest of the niblings to do something and other things like that

My brother and sil think we are assholes

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Novel_Box3156 on 2024-01-07 12:45:55+00:00.

My (15M) parents gave my sister (16F), brother (13M) and me nature names and more specifically. Water nature names. My sister is Ocean, I'm Cove and my brother is River. They wanted our names to have a theme without being matchy with the same initial so we got our names. The story was told to us when we were little and my parents were proud of the names they gave us.

Back when we were all stuck at home my parents started to express regret about their choices for us. They actually told us over dinner one night that they wish they had given us better names and apologized for making us live with the names we were given. A few months after that apology my mom and dad told us they wanted us to be Elizabeth (sister), James (me) and Michael (brother). They said since we were kids and weren't in college yet and nobody had their license at that point it would be the best time to do it. All three of us said we didn't want to change our first names. My dad looked into whether they could do it when we said no and all answers he got pointed to a very strong no. But it was also unusual to change your older kids first name so they went ahead and tried anyway but once we were asked if we wanted different names they were told no.

My parents brought it up a lot to us afterward. My brother asked why they wanted to name him Michael and said the name was crappy. They told him Michael was a timeless name that would age well and gave him some nickname choices. He said he hated it. So they asked if he would consider Charles instead which he said was an even bigger no. Our parents focused really hard on him for a while because he had asked the question about the name so they figured he was the most open.

So far none of us have agreed to the name change. I told my parents that I know they regret the names but we're all used to and like our names and don't want to go for more boring and common names. My parents argued that in the future we will regret it and we'd have to pay for it ourselves when we're adults and we realize having weird names does not age well. I asked why they can't let us get there if we ever do. They said we should be thinking more of our futures and they accused me of having a really bad attitude because I said James was as bad to me as Cove is to them now. They told me to look online and I did and I saw a lot of hate for our names. But I told them it still didn't change my mind.

My parents said we should respect them enough as parents to allow this and that we're all being disrespectful. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/AmilYwE on 2024-01-07 09:20:26+00:00.

Background: I (M17) live with my parents in a two-room apartment of 40 square meters. For Eastern Europe, where I live, this is a normal apartment. My sister (F24) used to live with us in the same way. My parents occupied one room, my sister the other. I was not allowed to share a room with her, so I lived in the kitchen and slept there most of the time. Two years ago my sister got married and my parents moved into her bedroom and I was given the living room where they used to live.

A few days ago, her husband called me out of the blue and asked where my sister was. No one had informed me of anything, so I said I didn't know. My sister's husband asked if I was sure. Then he called me another half an hour later and asked if my sister had shown up. I was concerned and asked what was wrong. He didn't answer me anything. I started calling my sister, but she didn't answer the phone. My parents were at work and did not answer my calls either.

In the evening, when my parents came home from work, they were very angry with me. As it turned out, my sister had sent a text message to her husband that she would be with me all day, but she wasn't there. I didn't know my sister was having an affair, I hadn't been told about it, and I didn't know what I was supposed to tell her husband. My parents said I was a traitor. They said that my sister had a fight with her husband because of me and that if they divorced, I would move back into the kitchen.

My dad doesn't talk to me but loudly tells my mom so I can hear that he is disappointed in me, that I should have known to give the right answer to my sister's husband, that I didn't defend my sister, that I am a bad brother and man and that I did it to get back at my sister because she used to sleep in the bedroom and I in the kitchen.

I don't know how to convince my parents that I really didn't know what I was supposed to say.

Also my mom said that I will have to call my sister's husband and tell him that I lied and my sister was with me and then I will have to ask my sister to forgive me and only if she forgives me my parents will forgive me.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Jamie-A-98 on 2024-01-07 08:49:11+00:00.

I am a 24 year old female who recently had a falling-out with my male then-34 (now 35) roommate. I will not name my roommate out of the very little respect I still have for him, but in all honesty I wanted to kick him out even before this all happened; and, this was my final straw.

For some background, I had an ad up on Craigslist in 2020 looking for a roommate because at the time I was much lower on money. He ended up applying and we met and had our arrangements sorted so that we were housed together. I didn't really like his personality but I kept it relatively to myself because of my financial situation. He was messy, almost never cleaned up after himself, he was really rude and inappropriate (making odd flirtatious comments about me even after I rebuffed his advances, but he called it all a "joke") to put it simply.

All was normal until about 3 years after he moved in (Early-mid 2023) he suddenly stopped paying his part of the rent and had a different excuse every time, mostly things like "I'm looking for a job!" and such. I let it slide because I was a bit more financially stable (even though he was setting me back quite a bit). But then months had passed, and he had the same excuses and I grew tired of him. Like I said, I did plan on kicking him out regardless, but the next situation was the last straw.

At the time, I was seeing some guy for a while and had a date. I really, really liked him. I was stoked, and I mentioned it once to my roommate. This was a big mistake. Behind my back while I was in the shower, my roommate somehow got the passcode to my phone correctly and WENT THROUGH IT. I don't know if he saw the texts or was planning it anyway, but he completely sabotaged my relationship with the guy I was seeing and thought it was SO hilarious.

He apparently told the guy I was MTF transgender (I am not, but I am an ally) and the guy got uncomfortable and blocked me ever since. Not only did I find it absolutely disgusting that he used the LGBT as the butt of his joke, I was absolutely furious that he crossed my boundary this much because of his own jealousy. I blew up on him and kicked him out, and ever since then he has been gone, and I cut all contact.

That was 5 months ago. A couple days ago, he has shown up at my doorstep with an apology. I personally do not accept this apology because what he did was utterly inexcusable, in my opinion, but he is trying to tell me he has no family, nowhere else to go, and if I don't let him stay, he will be homeless.

I do not plan on letting him back in with me, but I think I may be an asshole for letting him stay homeless.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/WiseEstimate208t on 2024-01-07 10:10:24+00:00.

My brother has a 14yo daughter and a 16yo stepson.

He got married a few months ago and one of the first things that his wife did was reducing his custody time. He went from having full custody to being the every other weekend parent. This obviously hurts my niece so much especially when she sees how close her dad is to her stepbrother and how much time they spend together.

This has caused her to resent her stepbrother and she gets very jealous when we pay any attention to him and starts crying because she is afraid we will love him more than we love her.

So in order to make her feel better we have kinda been ignoring him. We haven't been mean or anything like that we just don't include him when we invite the rest of the niblings to do something and other things like that

My brother and sil think we are assholes

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Substantial-Long3045 on 2024-01-07 05:49:13+00:00.

My birthday was a couple days ago and I'm feeling really hurt by how my husband acted.

A few days before my birthday, it was our dog's birthday. My husband was so excited - he jumped out of bed to sing happy birthday to the dog and made a big fuss over her. At the beginning I thought It was really sweet.

When my birthday arrived, I woke up hoping my husband would be just as excited. But he just said good morning like any other day. He didn't remember it was my birthday until my mom called to wish me happy birthday.

I tried not to let it bother me, but I was really disappointed. I hoped he would plan something special for dinner or at least get a cake, but instead he went out with friends and didn't come home until late.

The next day, when my friends asked about my birthday while we were out to dinner, I made a joke about how my husband was out celebrating without me. I was trying to laugh it off, but my husband got really mad. He wanted to leave right away and started arguing with me about it when we got home.

I feel hurt that he forgot my birthday and didn't make an effort to celebrate it with me. But I also feel bad for making that joke in front of my friends. I was upset in the moment and handled it poorly.

My husband and I aren't speaking right now. So reddit, am I the asshole here?