Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Sea-Ask2755 on 2024-01-07 03:10:35+00:00.

I'm 27 m. My parent's died in an accident when I was only a couple of month's. They were on there way to pick me up when the accident happened. I was then taken in by my grandparents to raise. I don't remember my grandpa since he died when I was 2. It was just always me and Grandma. She was an emotionally cold women. I always tried to gain her approval when I was younger. But nothing I ever did was good enough for her. If I did something wrong or didn't get a high enough grade she would tell me she would put me in an orphanage. I was constantly told this as a kid and it terrified me. She used this as a weapon against me to get me to obey her. She tried to control everything I did. I ran away at 18.

Now I was contacted by a friend back in my home town that my grandmother was trying to get in contact with me. I said I wasn't interested. I have haven't seen or heard from her in years. Surprised she was still alive. My wife knew about my past with her but encouraged me to get "closure". So we went and her and my family were there. They started on how I abandoned an old women in her time of need and how ungrateful I am. I started having a panic attack and my wife realized and she said we were leaving and my grandma said she wished she had put me in an orphanage and she regrets taking me in. I said I wish you had! It would have been better than living with you! My wife kept apologizing to me on our way back home. We hadn't even made it home and I was getting calls and messages from them all saying I abandoned an old women and I was useless and how could I say something like that to my own grandmother and that I should come back to do my duty. I'm a mess right now AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/kayleee on 2024-01-07 02:01:42+00:00.

I (27F) am marrying my fiance (28M) next weekend. I'm so excited because he is the love of my life, but I'm scared my mom might ruin it for me. My mom has been here for me through the good times and bad and has made me a better person in so many ways, so I decided that she would be my MOH. But now I'm considering kicking her out of my wedding altogether.

My mom has been very supportive of my wedding, but as it's been getting closer and closer she seems to be jealous and all over my husband. Whenever I try to talk about it with her it ruins her whole mood. And whenever she comes over she always sits right next to my fiance and flirts with him. We've thought of it as weird, but we brush it off as maybe she's not flirting but just trying to be nice because he's about to be her SIL. Yesterday she came to visit. While she was there I went into the kitchen to get some snacks and when I came back he looked very uncomfortable (Which is usual when she came over, but he said that he would be fine dealing with her for now as she's supposed to be helping me out with the wedding) but this time he seemed extra uncomfortable. He completely distanced himself from my mother. When she left I immediately asked what was wrong and he said that she was acting extra flirty and that when I was in the kitchen, she said that she would be a much better woman for him than me because she's a "real woman" (She's gotten lip filler, a BBL, and countless other surgeries, so I'm not too sure about that "Real" woman thing.) But anyway, the thing is that this isn't just her trying to be nice and accidentally saying something she didn't really mean or whatever like that, because she's done this before. My mom divorced my dad about 10 or so months ago and after that, she did the same thing to my cousin. She was hitting on him, and they actually wound up dating for a couple of months. (I know it's weird, but we live in a place where it's legal) Once I found out that she did this, I got very angry. I called her and told her that she would be uninvited from the wedding. After that, family members and some of her friends started contacting me and calling me an AH and many other names because she didn't mean it and is just "mourning her divorce" which in my opinion is the worst excuse because she was the one who divorced my father in the first place. I honestly don't know what to think anymore. I'm starting to think I may have been overreacting. So, AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/-idkreally_ on 2024-01-07 01:01:54+00:00.

I am 42f and my husband is 44m. I I am a surgeon so my pay has increased drastically over the years and is close to 7 figures. Me and my husband have a joint account and separate accounts where we put a set amount of money in. I recently bought a new bag since I was feeling quite accomplished of myself since my family was poor growing up and the bag is 3k. I used the money for our separate accounts but my husband blew up on me saying I was just a materialistic 5 letter word that won’t be said here who will spend all our savings on junk. I responded back he’s a jealous couch potato as my husband recently got laid off and refuses to find a new job since they are all below him. We’ve been living off my income and I’ve been the only one who puts money in. On top of that he refuses to do his share of the housework or help me. I’ve been getting sick of this behavior and I just lashed out. Now he’s sulking and now his parents have been messaging me for insulting their son. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/BarracudaMan77 on 2024-01-07 02:57:04+00:00.

(Throw away account just in case.) The title may seem like a given but it’s not apparently. About 9 months ago my current wife (40F) and I (43M) hired a nanny. I have 7 kids, 4 from my previous marriage and 3 from my current. Anytime we go on vacation I plan it around when I my other kids are going to be in our custody so we can all go. Our nanny comes with us as well, as was discussed when she was hired. The problem actually starts when my youngest from my previous marriage (7F) returned to her moms and (apparently) all she talked about was the nanny. My ex-wife accused me of “abandoning” our kids onto our nanny even though I don’t, they just like hanging out with her (yes she is paid extra for the other kids). Every time my kids go back to their moms, she calls and texts me, infuriated. It all came to a head when I discussed going on a cruise with the kids, my wife, and the nanny over the summer because I have custody of them the entire summer. My ex-wife called me, calling me selfish, mean-spirited, a horrible father, etc. She said I should’ve invited her instead of our nanny, because she’s their real mother and the kids already like the nanny more than her, what will happen in 3 months? And I "never did things like these when we were married" even though I made significantly less money back then. Even my parents and some of my family are agreeing that taking our nanny and not the kids mom is “ridiculous”. So, AITA? Should I have at least offered her to go?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/andolka81 on 2024-01-07 00:44:38+00:00.

I told my in-laws I am not attending my sister in law's wedding because she has decided to copy my wedding. My husband and I live in MI, USA. 5 years ago we chose to have a destination wedding in the Outer Banks, NC. We invited our closest friends and family for a full week of fun to include the ceremony. We spent a year selecting the venue nationally, flying down, meeting with vendors and selected the perfect beachfront to have the reception and ceremony. Yesterday a text message was sent from my sister in law (who also lives in MI) in a group chat to the entire family announcing that she was now having her own destination wedding, in the same state, on the same beach, at the same house using the same vendors, taking the same photos in the same poses as my husband and I. This was not discussed with my husband and I ahead of time.

My husband and I told his family that by copying our wedding, they are overriding our memories made there and that it really bothers us. We even found another house for her to book but she refuses to change her venue. My heart is broken and today we told them we will not be attending. My father in law called me this afternoon and said that his daughter has the right to choose where she wants to get married and that copying another person's wedding was a compliment and no big deal. I need to know AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Relevant_Poem_7448 on 2024-01-06 23:54:16+00:00.

So I [36 F] have been married to my husband [34 M] for 8 years. In the interim we uprooted our lives to move to the middle of nowhere from a coastal town to help MIL raise my Husband's niece [11 F] due to his sister being unfit. We never wanted kids but it's family so here we are... We have been here for the past 4 years and have been crucial in her development [I.E. the kid had never been to school and SOO much more] and at this point we're considered 'Mom and Dad' but this blanket has been a point of contention. It's a basic Walmart blanket that has a bandaid stuck to it, when I asked MIL about it she said the bandaid was from when SIL was in her home and injecting and wants me to get rid of it as well. My husband had agreed but I just found it in our closet. I put it on top of the garbage pile and he lost his mind! He is saying it's the last connection to his sister, which in my mind is horrible because of everything we have had to deal with. I get it's hard to lose a sibling but YUCK! A nasty bandaid left by a junkie is not something I want in my home 🤢 He says it's ok because he washed it but I don't want any reminders of this terrible woman, especially in the form of a friggin bandaid! AITA?

UPDATE!! It's not a family blanket! It's a $10 zebra throw from Walmart that my MIL got for her daughter when she was living in her car, then she wrapped herself in it after almost ODing in my MIL's bathroom and left the bandaid that was covering her track marks on the damn blanket!

My niece knows NOTHING about it!

This "woman" left her child with men to be violated. This child had NEVER been to school at SEVEN when we got custody of her. We wish it had been sooner hence the reason I mentioned from the coast to the middle of nowhere 😑 She had scabies, cigarette burns, and a whole lot more of issues.

My MIL hates the stupid little "blanket" and my husband thinks it's gross that his [in his words] sister's germs are on it but he's sentimental. He has plenty of pictures and other momento's of when she was good and sober. I don't understand the want of something she literally vomited into while telling his mother to go fuck herself and getting dragged out in front of her kid but hey maybe I'm crazy 😒

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Rare-Rock-4875 on 2024-01-06 22:39:31+00:00.

I (18F) and my boyfriend (19M) have been dating since we started college in October 2021. For the past I’d say 8 months my bf has become very interested in UFC (mma? idk what to call it). He gets up at like 3AM to watch fights and often has play fights with his friends one of these friends are important in this situation (I’ll call him S). We had a very large group of friends,we all graduated in summer but we all kept in touch over summer until now. Now these play fights or “spars” as my bf would say were all fun and games but they actually led my bf to believe he could actually fight because S (who says he does mma) said he’s naturally good.

This led to a massive ego and he said he wanted to have a actual fight, and one of our other friends dad owned a gym with ring and he said he could let him fight there (idk if that was even legal). S proposed a guy for him to fight and it was a guy back from school I’ll call A. S was friends with A(not close friends) and I knew A because we used to sit next to each other in class. S said he’ll try get a hold of him. A agreed, shockingly.

When A agreed I did express some concern to my bf (multiple times) and he didn’t listen. A was a quiet guy, but as we sat next to each other for a year I knew probably more than others about him, he was pretty much just one of those traditional masculine males in a physical sense, worked out 6 days a week, rode horses and did archery, owned large dogs but was one of those guys that looked intimidating but was actually a nerdy and friendly guy. My bf didn’t like A or A’s friends, and neither did the rest of the boys in our friends group. I always questioned my bf on this as A had literally never even spoken to him, and my bf used to say it’s because A is so arrogant and thinks he’s so good looking, this led to a lot of arguments with my bf, because why did my bf care if other women were attracted to A when he had me?

Nobody knew if A could fight but S said he told him something about he had been training in some form of martial arts. The whole build up to this my bf was acting so childish, he’d constantly try insult A in a group chat that was made and A wouldn’t even open them 90% of the time and I dont think he responded once. When the fight came along there was only one outcome from the start, A was visibly towering over my bf, and he had clearly bulked up. On top of that, turned out he could fight, my bf lost in i’d say 90 seconds.

After it I didn’t bother consoling him, I berated him because I expressed my concern multiple times and he picked not to listen to me. He said I’m an AH because I should support him unconditionally if I really loved him. He now wont speak to me, because he says I embarrassed him in front of his friends while he was vulnerable. Part of me feels bad but I feel like he needed to hear the truth.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/bluegarden63 on 2024-01-06 22:37:15+00:00.

I (39f) have three kids with my husband (46). Our two boys (13,12) and our girl (10).

Before we became parents my husband and I were ,one and done, meaning we only wanted one child. And we wanted a girl. And if our first child would have been a girl, she would very very likely be an only child. However, I am beyond thankful that we had to try 3 times. I love my boys and wouldn’t trade them in for anything in the world. But the truth is that we only tried 3 times because the first one and the second one weren’t girls.

Yesterday my boys were picking on their little sister. Normally they adore her but yesterday they would not stop making fun of her. They said something like we should put her up for adoption because she is the last one. They were obviously joking but it upset their sister to the point where she had tears in her eyes. I told them to knock it off again and again but they continued. In the end I said that they should be thankful that their sister is the youngest one because I only wanted a girl and they would not be there if I had my daughter first. They looked at me in horror. My oldest one asked me if this is really true and I said yes. I know it was harsh and hurtful but they were bullies. My younger son started to sob and the older called me a b*tch. Then they ran to their room.

When I told my husband what happened, he called me an absolute AH and nutjob for telling our sons the truth. When I begged him to help me to comfort them he told me to f*ck off and now he and my boys are not talking to me and the boys are ignoring their sister.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Pleasant-County2612 on 2024-01-06 22:26:46+00:00.

UPDATE: my husband and I have been together since we were 19 and 20 years old. He is my best friend at the end of the day. I am resentful. I have a lot of my plate. I’m going to be looking into couples therapy. We’ve talked about it before, but never bit the bullet on it. Clearly our second baby is pushing us to our limits and we need help. Thinking back, those who said I shouldn’t have brought the kids are right, but I also wanted to spend time as a family doing something not stuck at home. I also don’t see my husband much during the week. He’s not a bad guy. He’s a pretty good guy and generally has a good heart. He’s funny and goofy. We share common interests. We’re both stressed and handling it differently.

I (31F) and my husband (30M) have 2 kids. I work from home and am in a demanding leadership position at a big company, I am also the primary breadwinner. My grandma helps me watch the kids while I work from home. My husband works in an office and recently accepted a hybrid position so this might change a bit. This is important because I am literally with the kids 24/7, I work from home so I literally never leave the house. My husband gets home late and leaves early. While he’s out he goes shopping during lunch, goes out to eat, gets to stop at the grocery store, gets to spend some time out of the house period.

Today, after we got back from an errand together, he goes, “okay! I’m going grocery shopping now! You good if I step out?”

I said no. I’ve been in the house all week, I had a rough week, I’d like to go out too. So we made it a family trip.

One of the main things we disagree on right now is letting our 5 month old cry. He doesn’t know how to soothe the baby and is fine with just letting him scream. I mentally cannot take it and just take him from him. He always cries getting in the car, usually stops about 10 minutes into the car RIDE. The car has to be moving. After the grocery store trip he was already getting fussy, we put him in the car and he starts screaming and our 5 year old said she’s hungry and thirsty. He immediately goes, “okay! Time for an alcohol run!” (The liquor store is in the same parking lot).

I said absolutely not. I’m not sitting in the car with my screaming tired baby while he goes to buy alcohol. He can come back later if it’s so important to him. He responds, “you should’ve never even come with me” and pouts the whole way home.

Once home we’re putting groceries away and he stops to just eat chips. I’m getting frustrated and snippy and I ask him if he thinks his mom would agree with him if I asked. He said he didn’t care. He said no one would put up with someone like me and that I’ve been miserable for the last two months (this coincides with me going back to work). So I said, gee I wonder why. And he responds “well I’m glad you agree you’re miserable and don’t deny it.”

I then start cleaning the house, baby on my hip, and he’s sitting on the couch on his phone while my daughter plays pokemon.

Was I supposed to just let him leave my baby crying in the car and my other kid hungry while he went to get alcohol because he decided he wanted a drink tonight? Was I really such an asshole and shitty wife for saying no and causing this whole blow up. I feel so resentful.

TLDR: my husband wanted to go to the liquor store and I said no because I didn’t want to sit in the car with my screaming baby and hungry child. This caused a blow up with him saying I should’ve never come and that I’m miserable and no one would put up with me.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Useful-Count2418 on 2024-01-06 22:20:34+00:00.

I was born with a cleft lip and had extensive surgeries to correct it. Now it's significantly less visible and the result was told to be impressive. On the unrelated note, I also have a wax issue with my ears so I have to see an ENT specialist doctor from time to time to get the wax removed.

It happened to me before to have doctors (which are supposed to just remove my wax) to marvel at my cleft lip and the whole work done around it. For me it's weird because 1) I don't consider it THAT ground-breaking and 2) they're doctors, shouldn't they be more USED to that? However, I usually don't say much about it.

Anyway cue doctor Jane who was supposed to remove my wax for the day. I scheduled an appointment SPECIFICALLY for that. She does it and then proceeds to ask me to open my mouth (although I told her the issue is with my EARS). I comply, foolishly imagining it's gonna be relevant to my problem but she begins talking about my cleft lip and how great the result is and wants to examine my nose point at which I stop her. I tell her there's nothing wrong with my nose and ask her if she suspects there might be an infection spreading to my ears or something. She says something like "No, I just wanted to have a look and see more about your cleft lip...". I stop her again (literally pushing her hands away) and keep asking if she's done with my ears. She says yes and KEEPS TRYING to see the work for my cleft lip.

I told her to quit it, that I'm not sort of a museum piece that she gets to look at from all the sides and that for my cleft lip problems I see other doctors. Meanwhile I got up from the chair and started to get my stuff to leave. She said that there's no need to react like that and all she did was try to help me. I explained all the help I needed from her was with my ears and if I need more, I'll let her know. By then I was already dressed with the hand on the door handle.

She kept telling me this is no way of behaving and I'm disrespectful to her. I (almost) snapped but told her as calmly as I could that for me this is not an "interesting case", but a lifelong condition and I'm not fond of people pointing fingers at it. I explained to her I find it unprofessional and rude. I then just left to avoid further conflict. Was I wrong?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Automatic-Boss-1086 on 2024-01-07 07:31:51+00:00.

Currently in a FWB situation with one of my (24M) roommates (24F). A few months ago, she came home drunk and confessed that she's always had a crush on me. The girl I really want (25F) was moving away and I was heartbroken so we (my roommate and I) slept together. We've now been having casual sex almost every night for 6 months.

Here's my dilemma: the girl I really want has now invited me to visit her in her new city and dropped a hint that she's recently single. She knows about my current situation, and has asked if I'm still sleeping with the roommate. I think she might be jealous.

I told her that I was ending my FWB situation soon and don't want a relationship with her, but I'm really still sleeping with my roommate while I feel out relationship potential with the girl I really want. I don't want to stop sleeping with my roommate if the girl I want only sees me as a friend.

I figure as long as I don't promise anything to my roommate or tell her about the other girl, I'm NTA.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Flat_Discipline5983 on 2024-01-07 07:24:58+00:00.

So my parents now hate my bf and so now they are willing to take me to fort lauderdale to go on these cool excursions. I have been driving my parents crazy for the past couple of weeks after my friend dropped the bombshell on me on his cancelations of an trip. My parents now hate him extremely now and they are now wishing that they hadn't bought the plane tickets to his wedding as they claim and think that it is a waste of money. I got them successfully to be on my side and hate on my friend. I told them that I wanted something cool for my birthday so that I can bring it along to the wedding so I can use it. It's something that I think is necessary to carry as I think it will make me feel better once I use and take it. I'm struggling to find the funds to pay for this excursion so I'm thinking about selling some weed outside in Atlanta to get some money for my trip. Atlanta has a big ghetto community and I think it would be a perfect place to sell. I'm just happy that I got my parents and my sister to hate on my friend and how I got them into taking me to the sunshine state. AITA for getting them on my side and hate on my friend ??

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/IntelligentCricket32 on 2024-01-07 07:17:02+00:00.

Long story short my mom and I have a very very rocky history and I have forgiven her for it, but as of recent I became a new mom to my beautiful daughter. My mom before I went into labor was discussing celebrating my dead brothers birthday without me with my sister(it was the day I gave birth), it’s a very important moment for me to be there as I’ve never missed his birthday and I was very close to him, given my sister and I not getting along I didn’t want her at the hospital (she’d verbally abuse me, insult me, tell me to eat shit and die, verbally abuse me if I was 10 minutes late or couldn’t come to her becking call in the middle of a date or if I was busy, always told my secrets thatd mentally protect me, things I confided in her were confided in the family when unnecessary, constantly tried to humiliate me etc) so I didn’t want her there meaning I couldn’t celebrate with them. They made up my mind for me before I even woke up to read the texts. I expressed I was upset and how I wanted to be there, things got heated because anything I said was downplayed or overshadowed by my sister, I told my mom to not come to her birth, I was already a risk for preeclampsia and my BP was already high from the stress they put me through during pregnancy with all of the fighting, my mom not respecting my boundaries and constantly trying to replace my hubby (babies dad) with herself saying she’s the grandma… planting things in my head saying to go behind his back to get an apartment and don’t tell him because he will leave me etc, there was a lot of fighting. The day before birth in which I told her not to come, she proceeded to lash out stating “Fuck you” 10000000x telling me to have a nice life, that she will never forgive me, that she is my babies grandma and it wasn’t right for me to not let her see my baby. She never checked on me after birth until my dad told her I was upset about it, where she gave the blandest apology. When I’d reinstate my boundary respectfully, it’d retract the apology and anything she said in it. It went as far as her messaging my man’s mom behind my back to try and gain her sympathy and flip the narrative. Immediately after our fight she went to my sisters house. She keeps trying to message me and buying my daughter, me, and hubby Christmas gifts (I don’t accept them as we’re not on good terms), tells me she’s sorry, that she was just angry, but that’s always the excuse. Nobody in my family genuinely understands why I can’t just let go of it and forgive her and let her in my life and family. They’ve been put through the same thing, but keep trying to convince me I should let her back. None of my friends want me to talk to her as they’ve read the screenshots and lived with me through my childhood with her and my dad. AITA

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/aitagiveupcouch on 2024-01-07 07:15:15+00:00.

I (30f) started college last year. During my second semester, I met Phoebe (19). We were taking 2 classes together and we clicked immediately. We have a lot of the same interests and she’s just such a kind and smart girl.

Phoebe was diagnosed with cancer over the summer. She spent a few months in the hospital and now goes for outpatient chemo every couple weeks.

On Thursday Phoebe called me and said her grandpa was supposed to drive her to chemo but he never showed up and asked if I could take her.

After her chemo she fell asleep in the car. I decided to bring her to my apartment to let her rest because she is one of 6 kids at home and her house is loud, not a good place for recovering from chemo.

When we got to my apartment I woke her up, brought her to the couch, and brought her some blankets. She was very appreciative of me letting her stay at my apartment.

The thing is, my mom is staying with us and she was supposed to be sleeping on the couch. It totally slipped my mind when I brought Phoebe home.

My mom got back and asked why Phoebe was here when she saw her sleeping on the couch. I explained the situation and she said it was rude of me to give up the couch without asking her.

I called my husband, explained the situation, and he picked up an air mattress and extra blankets for my mom but she’s still mad that I gave away the couch for the night (I took Phoebe home Friday afternoon). My husband says he gets why I did it but he gets why she is upset.

AITA for giving my friend the couch when my mom was staying with us?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Standard-Regular7073 on 2024-01-07 07:15:08+00:00.

I have been a part of a friend trio since high school. In early June last year, Friend A asked to go to a concert in November. I responded saying that I wanted to go and Friend B never responded. Friend A and I bought tickets to this concert a few days later.

When we saw each other again, about a week later, the concert got brought up. Friend B said that they wanted to go but friend A and I explained that since they never responded, we already bought tickets. We carried on with the day and nothing seemed unusual.

Fast forward to October and B’s lack of effort was apparent. I got the impression that they would not hang out with A and I unless the plans were catered to them. Further, it seemed that they expected Friend A and I to cancel the plans completely if they could not make it. (For context, we have hung out as duos interchangeably and it was never a problem.) My birthday came around and we all planned to go to dinner. When A arrived at B’s house, B was unreachable. Eventually, B came out and said they were asleep. I found this to be inconsiderate since they decided to sleep 15 minutes before the scheduled plans. Still, we all went to dinner and everything was normal. This was the last time I saw friend B.

The next weekend, we planned to go to a Halloween party. Everyone agreed and there was consistent communication in the group chat leading up to the event. When I texted I was on my way, Friend B canceled, saying they didn’t want to go anymore. B asked for pictures of us at the party, to which Friend A and I obliged.

On the day of the concert, A and I discussed how distant Friend B had become. The lack of communication and constant canceling frustrated us. With good intention, we sent a selfie at the concert in the group chat with the caption “we miss you B wish you were here with us!” We received no response.

As the weeks went on, we reached out both individually and in the group chat, attempting to make plans and asking if B was doing okay. Again, we received no communication across all forms of social media. Randomly, Friend B texted me briefly but ignored all past/future attempts of communication. To me, this shows their ghosting was selective and deliberate.

A couple days ago, friend A and I heard from a mutual that B said they were not talking to A and I for personal reasons but didn’t elaborate. This was the last update on the situation.

All in all I can see how B would be upset and feel left out. Still, ghosting seems immature at best and straight-up mean at worst. I am considering blocking them. I am trying to handle this as best as possible but losing a best friend is heartbreaking and I fail to see how keeping them a part of my life after months of ghosting would be beneficial. Would I be the asshole if I blocked my best friend?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/imnotheretrustme12 on 2024-01-07 07:12:13+00:00.

Hi, I’m a 30y/o male, I am married to my beautiful wife 32(y/o) of 4 years come August. She is an amazing mother to 3 amazing daughters from her previous marriage that I love and cherish, and I am dad to them.

As mentioned in the title, my wife is 7 months pregnant with our 4th, but my first child. We have had some unfortunate luck getting pregnant in the past, and had a very big scare in the first trimester with our current. I was devistated, especially losing two prior. However we have survived the ups and downs and we have a very healthy baby ready to come be with us in 2 months.

Here is where our story begins today. My wife and I love playing pool. we have constantly been on the hunt, when a table came up for $200 We snatched it up quick! The seller and I loaded it up and we were on our way home with our new treasure.

It’s freezing out now where we are and the humidity is awful. Its no secret a pool table is not light. just the table would have been a dollar per pound if that’s all we got with it. My wife was concerned that the table would get damaged outside, which was a very fair point.

The tables final destination was down a steep “L” shaped set of 20 stairs and a railing that is sub-par at best. My plan was to back our truck up to our porch and slide it onto the deck and inside until I could get someone to assist me in making the that trip. Which I was happy to let her help me with since it is a flat level transfer. We had plans with another couple we are friends with but it fell through, so the move would have to wait.

My wife, however felt as though this needed to be done today, even though there was no need, and I could get someone to help me the next day as it was getting later on in the day. She offered to help me carry this heavy table down to the basement. I told her that I felt very uneasy with the idea because I fear for her safety and the babies going down those stairs. She kept emphasizing that she would be fine, and that I was making excuses for it not to be done. This went back and forth for sometime.

When it came to the point where there was no way to get her to wait for someone else, out of frustration I told her that this was a stupid idea out of impatience but if she was so headstrong about it, I would but if she or the baby got hurt I could never forgive her for putting them in danger over something so unnecessary. She took it as I only cared about the baby and started to break down telling me she would just “sign the baby over after she was born” and thought I would just leave her. I clearly stated to her that I love them both, and her condition at 7months could make it hard for her as it does her normal day to day activities. I love my wife beyond all measure, and couldn’t stand the idea of either of them being crushed or killed by a pool table when there were other options beyond her impatience. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/-TearsOfA on 2024-01-07 06:57:24+00:00.

I am 19m, in my second year of college, and I have know Maaya (36f) for 15 years now. Basically, I am head-over-heels in love with her. She is so nice to everyone, and she looks so cute in her glasses (to the point where I pester her to sometimes put them on when she already has her contacts on, which bugs her and she gets so adorable when she gets into her moods). With all that said, in November last year, I had a very romantic with her, and I asked her out for a date sometime, just the two of us. She got so weird, and she essentially scoffed at me and told me “no fucking way”, like she actually dropped the f-bomb.

So on New Year’s Eve, Maaya, my parents and I drove over to San Diego to watch the fireworks. Maaya was super excited, and she stuck close with me and took a few selfies of us together during the celebration. Eventually, however, she noticed that I was feeling bitter about how suddenly close and buddy-buddy she was to me, after she rejected me so coldly last year, and that led to an argument between us where I said some awful things to her. Specifically, despite her really sweet, innocent persona that she puts on around everyone, I know that she has a VERY active sex life (which was partly why I asked her out last year), and I explicitly mocked her body count and tried guessing if it was 20, or 30, or 50, or 100, or whatever. She got so pissed off and had to run off away from me.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Fun_Principle_2326 on 2024-01-07 06:50:38+00:00.

Okay so, yes my bf is 6 years younger than me. When we started he was 19 and I had just turned 27

correction: he was 20

We’ve been dating for 7 months and at the beginning (the first 3-4months) he’d be all over me nonstop.

Just kisses and s*x all the time, we would do a million poses, we’d do it with music, we would record ourselves but after a while it’s like it has stopped.

Now I have to always be on top. I have to always s*ck him first (he loves lovessss my mouth) but still, I wish he would kiss me more, I wish he would get on top, man handle me a bit more. And I know a lot will say, well, he is young but truth is.. he is more than capable of doing it. He did it nonstop the first months…

idk what to do.. I have tried going to bed looking sexy and we end up having sx but it’s just the same. He asks me for hed, and then requests for me to ride.. 😞 I want more connection. I want kisses, I want different position not the same all the time.

Now, I have thought that maybe he just isn’t into me anymore but he does not cheat, he really isn’t interested in other females, he respects me always!! But he just likes what he likes.. to lay there and have me do the work.

Don’t get me wrong, I love it. I enjoy our s*x and so does he but deep down I feel like I’m not doing enough. I feel like maybe he doesn’t really like it or idk aughhh im so insecure about this.

I want to please him and leave him satisfied and he tells me I do - leave him satisfied but how can some he*d and cowgrl leave him satisfied???

I asked him once, what would be something he’d like to experience in bed and he said… a threes*me and it just broke my heart because I’d never be able to please him like that. I’d do it with like a random guy and maybe one of my girl friend but not w. My bf… I’m too jealous for that.

Please help me.. how do I get him to be the same adventurous, fun, s*xually active and dominating man he once was?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Background_Tea_7072 on 2024-01-07 06:50:03+00:00.

I (23F) have been with my boyfriend (25M) for almost a year now. He’s really great and I do really love him and I’m really invested in this relationship. It’s important to me.

My boyfriends parents wanted to take a family trip to Mexico for his step moms birthday. It sounded like a lot of fun and was an amazing plan. They had the trip planned to happen in January to coincide with her birthday. The problem was that about 6 weeks ago when it was time to book the tickets and resort and everything, I didn’t have the money to pay my share to go (about $1,000) my boyfriend payed for his share and was pressing for me to go too but I just didn’t have the money. I apologized and said maybe next time and that was that.

Fast forward to January 4th, 2 days before the family is set to leave for this trip and my boyfriend calls and says he will pay for my tickets and everything last minute if I just go with them. He said it would all be taken care of and I wouldn’t have to worry about anything. Only thing is, I couldn’t get the the time off work with only 2 days notice. He proposed I could always just “get a new job” but I actually like the job I have now and I just started not long ago so I’m still on my probation period and everything. He seemed pretty disappointed and said he was presenting me with a great opportunity to go without needing to worry about paying but the decision is mine. He also mentioned he thought it would be nice for us to get to spend our anniversary together (our 1 year anniversary is going to fall on the 12th while he’s in Mexico.) I ultimately decided I can’t go but I kind of feel like I might be the asshole. At the same time my job is important to me and I can’t just drop everything and go to Mexico with only two days notice. Am I insanely self absorbed? Should I apologize?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/OtmShanks55 on 2024-01-07 06:48:28+00:00.

I told my family we needed to watch this movie Saltburn as it was the autobiographical story about the origin and rise of Salt Bae. We watched it as a family. We made it to the bathtub scene before they caught on, and now they are accusing me of traumatizing my sister. AITA

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Throwawayby126 on 2024-01-07 06:42:01+00:00.

I'll keep it short, but happy to provide more info if necessary. A couple months ago my (27M) best friend (25M) and his partner (25F) unfortunately lost their baby boy, who was born still at 35 weeks. Soon after, I found out that my girlfriend of one year is pregnant, and we just found out we're having a boy. We haven't told anyone about the news yet, and definitely haven't mentioned it to my friend yet as he is still grieving.

When we found out he was a boy we began discussing names, and I mentioned that I really wanted to honour my friend's son by giving our son his middle name. My girlfriend loves the name, but she told me it was very insensitive to use it and it seemed like I was just rubbing it in that his son wasn't here anymore. She said it came accross as self indulgent and I wasn't really taking into account what my friend and his partner would want.

I disagree, and think it is a way of keeping his son's memory alive, but I really don't want to do something that would cause him even more hurt. I obviously can't ask him or his partner their thoughts, so I was hoping you all could give me some input. WIBTA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/PandaLongjumping489 on 2024-01-07 06:33:47+00:00.

I (F, 20) celebrated the holidays in person with my family (Mom, Dad, and two teen younger siblings) a couple days after Christmas since I had to work Christmas Day. My siblings (who live with my parents) opened their gifts on Christmas Day. I moved out soon after Highschool ended, and my mom decided to use that as her reasoning for giving me noticeably less than my two younger siblings last holidays. So I was already nervous about this Christmas, she asked for a list last year and I gave her sone broad and some Specific stuff I wanted (ex. Anything Pokémon related, a certain kind of pajama, etc) and she didn’t honor any of those gifts and got me stuff not very related while I watched my siblings tear through gifts like expensive makeup, a PS5, apple headphones, etc. it hurt honestly seeing the drastic thoughtfulness of the gifts. Flash forward to this year, hoping things might be a bit better since I did address it with my mom, I opened my gifts and the big specific gift I asked for was a pack of some nice art markers. It was around $80 but I wanted that as my big gift. I opened up the markers she was hyping up and I see a dinky little $20 marker set 1/5 the size of the one I wanted. I probably sound very ungrateful, but after hearing that one of my siblings got good seat concert tickets to a huge rap artist and my other sibling a trip to Disney world, I got kind of upset. I want to note too that this isn’t a money thing, there was just no thought out into most of my gifts even though I provided a list of what I would like. I’m not trying to be ungrateful but I’m kind of happy I wasn’t there on Christmas Day because I feel like than I’d have to see my siblings open these thought out and expensive gifts while I have to plaster a smile on my face. Favoritism sucks. Anytime I bring it up I’m labeled as ungrateful. Am I the jerk?

EDIT my siblings are 15 and 17

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ImpossibleQuest9797 on 2024-01-07 06:22:44+00:00.

Whenever we have a strong disagreement she pulls the get out of my house card or similar. I tell her that it’s not really hers and it’s her family’s that she shouldn’t say something like that. I think she says that to have some sense of something and to somehow seem to have power over me or something. AITA for telling her that it’s not really her house?

Edit:

I’m seeing a lot in the comments I’m the asshole and I get why but I would like to just clarify that she’s using this technically valid thing to give her the upper hand on the argument. For example I would say the car is red and she says it’s yellow and because I don’t agree the car is yellow she will say something like get out of my house. Or when she’s being disrespectful to me and I firmly (not yelling) tell her that she’s being disrespectful and that she apologizes she tells me the get out of my house card. Hope that makes sense.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/BarracudaMan77 on 2024-01-07 02:57:04+00:00.

(Throw away account just in case.) The title may seem like a given but it’s not apparently. About 9 months ago my current wife (40F) and I (43M) hired a nanny. I have 7 kids, 4 from my previous marriage and 3 from my current. Anytime we go on vacation I plan it around when I my other kids are going to be in our custody so we can all go. Our nanny comes with us as well, as was discussed when she was hired. The problem actually starts when my youngest from my previous marriage (7F) returned to her moms and (apparently) all she talked about was the nanny. My ex-wife accused me of “abandoning” our kids onto our nanny even though I don’t, they just like hanging out with her (yes she is paid extra for the other kids). Every time my kids go back to their moms, she calls and texts me, infuriated. It all came to a head when I discussed going on a cruise with the kids, my wife, and the nanny over the summer because I have custody of them the entire summer. My ex-wife called me, calling me selfish, mean-spirited, a horrible father, etc. She said I should’ve invited her instead of our nanny, because she’s their real mother and the kids already like the nanny more than her, what will happen in 3 months? And I "never did things like these when we were married" even though I made significantly less money back then. Even my parents and some of my family are agreeing that taking our nanny and not the kids mom is “ridiculous”. So, AITA? Should I have at least offered her to go?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/andolka81 on 2024-01-07 00:44:38+00:00.

I told my in-laws I am not attending my sister in law's wedding because she has decided to copy my wedding. My husband and I live in MI, USA. 5 years ago we chose to have a destination wedding in the Outer Banks, NC. We invited our closest friends and family for a full week of fun to include the ceremony. We spent a year selecting the venue nationally, flying down, meeting with vendors and selected the perfect beachfront to have the reception and ceremony. Yesterday a text message was sent from my sister in law (who also lives in MI) in a group chat to the entire family announcing that she was now having her own destination wedding, in the same state, on the same beach, at the same house using the same vendors, taking the same photos in the same poses as my husband and I. This was not discussed with my husband and I ahead of time.

My husband and I told his family that by copying our wedding, they are overriding our memories made there and that it really bothers us. We even found another house for her to book but she refuses to change her venue. My heart is broken and today we told them we will not be attending. My father in law called me this afternoon and said that his daughter has the right to choose where she wants to get married and that copying another person's wedding was a compliment and no big deal. I need to know AITA?