Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/No_Hedgehog6398 on 2024-01-06 20:54:53+00:00.

My friend invited me to his birthday, I’m not particularly close to him but he’s a nice guy. His friends however, I have a hard time getting along with. I’m not particularly shy but they tend to exclude me or barely talk to me. Some are nice though.

I told him I’d be going a month ago but the last week I’ve had a pit in my stomach thinking about this party. It’s tonight and I have been dreading it. Even thinking about committing to an hour. Plus I’ve been so burnt out with work, this is my only day off this week.

However- should I just go and suck it up? I’m thinking that I should tell him I’m not feeling great and burnt out but I’d love to meet with him another day and do something.

So WIBTA if I cancel going to a birthday party sort of last minute?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/picassosdoglump on 2024-01-06 20:53:47+00:00.

i (30 F) live in an apartment with my partner (28 M). all the units in my building are the same (1 bdrm thin walls) so we’re typically very respectful about noise. we never host parties or play loud music, stomp around or anything like that. i’ve always accepted a bit of noise is normal in an apartment like this so i’ve never complained about my neighbours.

a few months ago my partner and i got into an argument. it was dumb, over nothing and we resolved it quickly. it couldn’t have lasted longer than 15 min before we went back to enjoying our day. (it was a saturday, middle of the day). an hour later the cops showed up. i have never in my life had the cops called on me for anything, let alone “potential violence” so this really scared me. mind you, they were immediately confused and apologetic. they left after a few min of talking to us and did not file a report.

i’ll be the first to admit i can get a bit loud when triggered. i’m in therapy for it and have medical trauma that really messed me up. i shriek at the drop of a pin and will raise my voice for a minute before immediately falling into shame and shutting up. i have empathy for my neighbours, but at the same time, im human and working on it. i don’t yell aggressively or cuss, it’s usually just “omg!” or some sort of exclamation. that’s it. truly.

the couple above me is quite loud. the man gets very angry watching sports and i’ve been woken up to door slamming, yelling, i’ve heard smashing between bellowing and hammering at bizarre times. (they also had a washer hooked up to their sink and the dirty water drained into my apartment for months before my building threatened to fine them. it was awful). i have no way to prove it was them calling the cops, but i saw them watching from the stairwell when the cops left.

now whenever we have a small argument these neighbours retaliate by stomping on the ceiling non stop. there has been no “yelling” just slightly raised voices, and as always things are resolved quickly.

i can’t stop thinking about how many times i’ve ignored their shit. i’m also very, very anxious. i feel paranoid that my housing will be compromised. i imagine they complain to building management as well and i deeply believe this is petty and irrational. clearly they exaggerated what they heard to get the cops to actually show up.

it’s getting to the point where i don’t know what to do with my frustration. i’ve considered reaching out to apologize or leaving a note but truthfully i don’t want to interact with them. they seem rude, ive seen them leave notes on another residents mailbox calling them “air polluters that should be evicted” (lol). AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Hot_Buy8813 on 2024-01-06 20:51:41+00:00.

We have 2 kids (15 & 18), divorced for 7 years. We share 50/50 custody so they split their time between my house and his house. I've always been respectful to our co-parenting relationship and have told him about the plans I make with the kids when they are with me. I've asked he do the same, and specifically that he talk to me BEFORE taking them anywhere. Lately he's been telling me what he's doing with them instead of asking me first. We got into an argument because he thinks its an unreasonable request, even though I've told him I would be happy to do the same - he says he doesn't want that and he trusts me. But I don't trust him, so I want him to ask before doing anything with them. Last week he took them to the store and told me after they had left instead of asking me beforehand, and I unloaded on him that this was not our agreement. I don't understand why it's so hard to just be nice and communicate with me ahead of time, but he's become extremely resistant.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ZookeepergameLeft184 on 2024-01-06 20:49:14+00:00.

I’ll give background to who I am, I’m 16(m) with 2 parents 1(38F) 1(40M), 3 younger sisters 1 (14), 1 (2), and 1 due in march.

I’m in high school (Jr year) doing well, passing my classes with mostly A’s, making honor roll every year, and a “good” kid in high school. I wouldn’t consider myself a lazy person either, as I workout 3-5 times a week, wrestle during the winter, and clean the house 2-5 times a week, I don’t normally socialize often outside of school as I don’t feel motivated to do so, so then I just stay inside and either play my game, read, study a language, or pray.

3 years ago. my mom and dad both worked, my mom use to work around 50-80 hours a week to “catch up” on bills, often times she would come home tired and would sleep during the day, while my dad worked around 40-50 ish hours and would be tired too. Often times my mom would complain about no one doing anything around the house and calls me and my sister lazy, I usually don’t say anything to those complaints, but sometimes i get irritated and say i actually clean around the house and that you only sleep so of course you wouldn't pay attention.

Moving forward a year or so when my mom announced she was pregnant, I was kinda of irritated because she would always complain about bills and how she needed to catch up on them, I proceeded to say how are you going to say you need to catch up on bills but then have another child, I cant remember what she had told me, but a month or two later the reason she wanted to have another kid was because “I love being a mother” in my head at the time I kinda seen it as selfish as she didn’t want to be “alone”.

Somewhere in June or July (2023) my mom was pregnant but then had a miscarriage 5 weeks later, 2 weeks later she gets pregnant again with a girl.

I wanted to work over the summer and be a little bit more independent as I’m only a few years from being a legal adult so I ask my mom can I work, she says yes but she needs to get money for an ID. The next thing you know she never gives me my ID to work.

My mom complains that I go out a lot and give my attention to my girlfriend instead of my baby sister or the “things” around the house saying I half a** things around here. Many times I don’t have a problem with playing/watching my sister but at times my mom makes it seem like I’m obligated to watch my sister anytime she’s tired from work or sees she’s “struggling”. And that she once again says she pays for everything and all I do is ask for items just because I clean the house “like I’m supposed to do”. Which I feel as isn’t true as I hardly ask for wants, one comment she said was I can walk to school mind you it’s the winter and when I wanted to walk to school. She said it was not safe to do so. And she won’t be paying my phone bill anymore as it’s her money and have my girlfriend pay for it instead. I made the comment when I wanted to work you said no because I’m not “ready” then started yelling at me telling me to go to my room while slamming the doors.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/throwaway02847258 on 2024-01-06 20:47:57+00:00.

Our ten year anniversary is coming up this summer, and my husband and I have talked about doing a short trip to commemorate it. We just had twins last summer so we wouldn’t be able to go for too long - I agreed I could leave them for two nights max while my MIL watched the babies at our house. No concrete plans in place, but definitely something we want to celebrate.

At the same time, my parents, brother, and SIL are trying to plan a beach vacation for the summer, as my SIL’s family just purchased a beach house. They’re looking to reserve dates so they can coordinate with other guests. My brother texted earlier this week and asked our preference between three sets of dates, one of which was over our anniversary, one which began just after our anniversary, and one that began a week later. I responded that we’d prefer the later week since the others would conflict with the anniversary trip we had in mind.

My brother announces today that we will be going the middle option week since it works best for them. My husband is convinced that my brother is just being a brat (which isn’t entirely untrue in my opinion) and that we shouldn’t even try to go to the beach later in the reserved week after we return from our trip. It would be a lot of back to back travel, especially as we’d be traveling with two one-year-olds just after getting back from our own trip. But I don’t live near my family and have really wanted to ensure that our kids are close to my parents, my brother and SIL, and their baby who is just a few months older than ours. I never grew up with any cousins and it’s important to me that they grow up as close as possible considering we live several hours away.

The issue isn’t whether or not we will go on an anniversary trip; it’s whether we can agree to go to part of the beach trip afterwards. My husband is saying now that he doesn’t want to go at all.

Additionally, my brother shared (after a lot of questioning) that the week they selected works better for a big career change my SIL is preparing for.

I’m conflicted between my husband and my family - or rather, this is a situation where I feel that I can accommodate both. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Few-Confection477 on 2024-01-06 18:37:42+00:00.

My husband and I welcomed our son into the world in November. We chose the name Reid for him after some searching. Neither of us got our first choices but we love the name and it fits our son beautifully, we believe. I knew my son's name was a bit of a standout among my family. They like to reuse the same names that are popular and always seem to float pretty high in naming charts. For boys the top three in our family are James, Benjamin and William. But Reid isn't a weird or unheard of name.

My family were all very quiet when we announced the name and almost immediately they started dropping comments about "people making weird naming choices for their children" which never directly mentioned my husband and me but we both felt it was aimed at us. Then they commented a few times how there's nothing wrong with good, solid, classic names that everyone knows and loves and reuses. But then they started to say Reid was an "odd choice" or that they had no idea where we found such a name, even though it's in the top 400 choices. My parents accused me of trying to be trendy and not thinking about my son's future.

I decided to confront my family without my husband present because I felt like it wasn't fair to drag him into it more. I asked them what their problem was and why they were being so mean about the name. They told me they HATED Reid and they felt it was a very unattractive name and we did not think it through at all. They told me we should have reconsidered and given him a real name, not something trendy that came up in the last 20-30 years. They said we had so many beautiful names to choose from and we made a horrible decision. Then they said they had tried to gently show us the light but we ignored their efforts.

I told them if their comments about my son's name were supposed to make me regret the choice then they failed, because all it did was make me regret them, because they were being rude and hurtful. My family did not take my comment well and told me I was being rude and I was behaving like a child who can't accept the truth.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Humble-Tomatillo1985 on 2024-01-06 20:44:10+00:00.

Hi, this is a throwaway I want to start by saying that that I've been dating my boyfriend for 6 months. He's very honest and never tells a lie. We were watching a show, the show is superstore if you've ever seen it we were talking about dina. I think dina is really beautiful, hot even. Especially in the Halloween episodes. I made a comment about how beautiful she was. My boyfriend kept saying that she's ugly and then he mentioned that there's a scale for women. About how there's beauty and personality and you get a score. Then I asked "ok babe be honest and don't lie, what's my rating, what's my score" Without a beat he said 8.5 in beautiful and then make it a 9 for personality I don't know why but I feel hurt. I'm kind of mad actually because I didn't expect it. I feel like he's settling. I can't get it out of my head. I know it's stupid but I don't know What do we think reddit ? All comments are appreciated

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ThrowRAchny on 2024-01-06 20:42:00+00:00.

My(23F) roommates Lauren & Camille(23F, 23F) will not stop arguing and essentially picking on each other. Right now they're both struggling with their weight and these dumb fights go like this:

They get in this multi-week trend of a bunch of junk food or fast food together. One will make a comment about the others clothes being snug or being out of shape or her body in general. The other will reply with some kind of " Youre fat too" response. Nobody apologizes and they go back to the junk food trend.

We all went and did our own thing for the holidays but when we all got back earlier this week, Lauren started things off by telling Camille she didn't look great in her swimsuit. Camille'd gone to FL with her family and had posted a bunch of pictures. Camille told Lauren she'd seen her X-mas photos and told her she looked fat in her skirt.

I decided I was just done with this crap and I'm on day 3 of not speaking to either of them. Now they're equally mad at me and saying that a true friend wouldn't shut people out.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Overall-Candy-4513 on 2024-01-06 18:02:10+00:00.

My now husband Lucas (26) and I (F,25) were getting married.

We decided to tie the knot as we were having a little girl together and are madly in love. So leading up to the wedding day Lucas told me that his best man (Jacob) wanted to propose to his girlfriend as it would be a great time and it is a nice venue to do it at.

I said that I didn’t want him to propose at our wedding as it is our special moment, not theirs and that they can do it sometime else. Lucas told me that his friend was mad that I didn’t agree. I just wanted the wedding to be about us because it was our special day. After that disagreement I thought nothing of it.

Fast forward to my wedding day. We had finished the church service and now we’re at the reception were all having fun eating. I’m eating my food and then Jacob stops the music at the DJ booth to make an announcement. I just knew from that moment he was going to propose. I look to see where Lucas was and he was holding red and white roses walking out to stand in front of Chloe(Jacob’s girlfriend)spelling out. “Will you marry me?”I was shocked that they went behind my back when I said no. I got up out of seat and walked out. It’s been 2 days since the wedding and my husband cursed me out for not letting them have a special moment. I responded with “I wanted the day to be about us because it’s our wedding not theirs and I am happy for them but the worst thing was even though I said no you went behind my back about it.”Since that argument he moved to the guest bedroom and now most of my friends are cursing me out on all my socials. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Key_Track7516 on 2024-01-06 17:46:45+00:00.

Yesterday my girlfriend came over to my house and was supposed to sleep over.

A little after she got here she told me she was cold and asked for a hoodie.

Now, all of my clothes are in my sister room since almost all of our clothes look the exact same (most e of my sister’s clothes are oversized and from the male section since that’s her style) and our mom kept getting confused about what clothes are who’s. So we just got a big closet for my sister’s room (hers is bigger which is why it’s at her room) and took my closet out of my room so I could have more space.

I went to my sister room and saw that the door was closed (we’re not allowed to close the door unless we’re changing or needing quiet to study) so I knocked but before she could answer me my girlfriend just barged in. Luckily my sister was just studying but both of us were in shock.

My girlfriend didn’t even notice my sister and I discomfort and just opened the closet and started looking for a hoodie that she will like.

My sister sarcastically told her “sure, you can go through my closet after barging in”

My girlfriend snapped at her with a curse or two and a “it’s not just your closet”

I have no idea where all of this came from, my girlfriend is usually very gentle and this is the first time I heard her curse, but I was not going to sit there while she insults my sister.

I took her by the hand and dragged her out of my sister’s room, I got her bag and took her out of my house and waited with her in silence until her friend that live close to me came to pick her up.

We haven’t talked since, I tried to text and call her to say sorry for overreacting and try to talk to her about why she treated my sister like that but she hasn’t answered me.

I feel really bad about how I reacted but I’m also mad about how she treated my sister, AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Horror-Respect6507 on 2024-01-06 16:32:42+00:00.

Stepsister's dad married my mom when we were 7 (me) and 6 (her). I never knew my parents together. From what I was made aware of they had a very brief relationship and I was the result. I have a sister from my dad who is 3 years older than me. No siblings on mom's side. My parents shared custody of me during my childhood but I always preferred dad's house. I was always closer to dad than to mom, and I always loved being around my sister.

My stepsister used to adore me and think we were sister's and BFFs forever. She had no siblings so to her I was that sibling. We were about 14 and 15 when she found out I didn't feel the same way about her. She read my homework one night and I had to write a personal piece from a topic of choices (the choices were basically different family members/relationship types and I went with siblings). She was really upset after learning I didn't consider her one of my siblings and never did. She stopped being so into me after that which wasn't a big deal to me. She grew more resentful of me when we were in our very early 20s because I moved into an apartment with my sister which she learned about from my mom. The few times I saw her after that she was always very snarky when asking if I liked having a sister that much and how nice it must be to be loved back.

My stepsister is now getting married and she didn't send me an invite. It upset my mom and her husband a lot and they asked why and she told them I'm not her sister, I don't give a crap about her and she doesn't want me there. My mom told me I should ask her to invite me and beg if I have to. She told me otherwise it will look so awful and like we're not a family.

I refused. Mom said I should be upset to miss out on her big day and I clearly told her I did not care. Mom said I should and I should be willing to do this for her if nothing else.

AITA?

ETA: The homework I wrote was not about my stepsister. It was about my sister. But I said I had one sibling, my sister, which is how my stepsister realized how I felt or how I didn't see her. And my stepsister took it out of my backpack. It was not left lying around where she could find it easily.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/lonelysoul2023 on 2024-01-06 15:35:11+00:00.

We had some family in town and my step daughter(19), step son(25), husband, mom, Sil, niece(11), and nephew(8) were all there for dinner. I made a huge pan of lasagna the first piece I cut was huge and my husband is going through chemo so I knew he wouldn’t eat the huge piece. I gave it to my step son. Turned around cut another piece and gave it to my husband and cut another piece for myself and sat down to eat. While we were eating my step daughter was sitting in the corner of the couch and did not get up. Suddenly she starts crying so my husband asks her what’s wrong. She goes on to say that she is lactose intolerant and can’t eat the lasagna and was also upset I didn’t serve her a plate(I didnt serve everyone, the first plate was an oops and then served my husband). My husband tells all the other options in the kitchen she can eat or go make. She stays upset. So I got up from my plate and make her a whole other dinner that was lactose free. She Never moved from the couch, I made it, put it on a plate and took it to the couch. My sil made some desert that is chocolate chip cookie crust, cream cheese and chocolate pudding filling (with milk), and whipped cream and topping. Everyone is getting some and my step daughter eats a piece of that…. So fast forward a day later my husband goes to thank me again for doing that but instead of your welcome I try to talk to him and tell him how it made me feel that she couldn’t eat lasagna and I got up from eating to make her a special dinner because in that moment she was lactose intolerant but still ate the dairy filled dessert. He blew up and got mad at me and thinks it’s ridiculous that I feel any kind of way about it. AITA for being upset about this?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Region_Leading on 2024-01-06 15:32:58+00:00.

Okay, so I will admit that I didn't think anything about this until the party as I did not think it was a big deal but maybe I'm wrong.

My daughter is 3 and was invited to a birthday party for one of her friends from daycare. She's been invited to other kids birthday parties but this was the first time that I didn't really know the mom. So we went and she was having a blast but when it came time to eat and have some cake my daughter had brought her own little snack and some brownies to have. This wasn't because she is picky (I mean she is, but it wasn't my reasoning) it's because she has Celiac Disease.

Anyway, the mom got very angry with me and asked what was wrong with her food. I said nothing but pointed out that my daughter had celiac disease and while there were a few things she could eat, the majority wasn't safe for her, especially the cake. She didn't let it go and kept telling everyone I thought I was better than her. Most of the moms who knew me and my friend who's daughter also had celiac (and I also prepared snacks and brownies for) were trying to explain it to her but she was still offended.

So AITA for bringing my daughter her own snacks and desert?

Update: I just wanted to add something because I am seeing it a lot. While I should have told her when I got to the party (I accept that), I didn't have a way to contact her ahead of time. There was no number or email address on the invite to contact her and she drops off and picks up her daughter at a different time than me, I have literally never met her before this or had anyway to try and reach out since the other moms that I do know didn't have contact info either.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Throw_aita_away88 on 2024-01-06 14:30:53+00:00.

I apologise for any errors, kinda writing this post in a desperate state so I'm sorry.

6 months ago my (24F) best friend Tess (26F) asked me to be her Made of honour for her wedding. We have been friends for years now and I love her a lot, she has always been there for me and we've been through a lot together.

The one thing Tess was the most excited for was her bachelorette, she has been talking about it even before she got engaged (which is why I feel so guilty). I also helped her plan our vegas trip and we were supposed to leave this week.

But a few days ago, Jason got laid off of work. Even though he saw it coming, it hit him hard. He's just stressed and really upset. He didn't even tell me at first because he didn't want me to be worried but when he finally told me I just knew I couldn't go anymore.

I was really conflicted, and I knew what this meant to Tess and that I'm the MOH, but I just couldn't even consider going to vegas while Jason is this upset. He's a strong guy but I felt like he shouldn't go through this alone.

I worked up the courage to call Tess and it just went so much worse than I planned. Tess thought I was joking first, and then she just became really angry which is understandable, but I wish she understood my situation too. Tess at first told me to do whatever and cut the call, she didn't respond when I tried contacting her again.

After that she sent me a lot of messages saying that I'm stealing her special day, and started questioning why I accepted to be made of honour if I didn't want to do the duties that came along with it. She said I'm untrustworthy and jealous, that I'm ruining her special moment for a guy I've only known for a year.

I'll admit, I usually don't accept Tess's offers to go clubbing and she blames that on Jason being controlling, but in reality but I've explained that, I just turned into a homebody because I never really enjoyed that stuff in the first place. I still go out with her a lot, I make sure I'm there for her. But for her bachelorette I was willing to do that and more. I really did want to go and make it special.

She told me that her whole plan will fall through, because I was the one with the plan. I told her I'll explain it all to one of our other friends.But she said I don't have to because I'm no longer her friend, that hurt a lot to hear.

One one hand, I don't regret my decision, Jason needs me and Tess should understand how difficult this is for us. But also, this is a once in a lifetime trip, and she has been dreaming about it since forever. I'm also the one who planned a lot of the stuff. Our mutuals also reached out to let me know that Tess was very angry, and that what I did was not cool.Now I'm doubting myself, and I need to know if I have to apologise.

I obviously can't ask anyone I know, Jason thinks I'm right, and I'm sure Derek and the bridesmaids think Tess is right. So that is why this post. Thank you, if you are trying to help me.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/CombLegitimate6077 on 2024-01-06 04:51:30+00:00.

Me (23F) and my partner Grace (28F) have recently purchased a home. When we moved in four months ago, we were visited by the neighbor across the street, Rob (50s/M). He was visibly uncomfortable and awkward while speaking to us, but was polite overall.

I didn’t think much of it until the next time he came over to our house. He approached Grace while she was figuring out a new electric lawnmower, and asked her if she “had ever mowed a lawn before,” and if she “knows how photosynthesis works.” He also asked if Grace remembered his name despite us meeting only once briefly. Grace responded “yes, I’ve mowed lots of lawns before, this is just a new lawnmower and I’m figuring it out. Remind me of your name?” Rob just said “now I’m pissed” and stormed off.

I thought the interaction was weird, since Grace is extremely polite. I assumed the conversation went misunderstood and moved on.

A few months go by without hearing from Rob, and I notice a truck starts parking in our driveway to drop Rob off from work. Rob and Coworker sit and talk for up to 20 minutes sometimes. I’m uncomfortable with this, since nobody asked to use our drive, but I let it go after Grace assured me it wasn’t a big deal.

Tonight, when Grace was bringing home dinner after dark, he approached Grace while she was exiting her vehicle and yelled “I don’t mean to scare you!”

Which, obviously, scared her. He launched into a story about how he finally has a truck from work, but his driveway has walls and an incline; it’s too narrow for him to exit the truck. He asked Grace if he could park his truck in our driveway after work.

We only have one car, but have 2 gravel driveways that can fit 3-5 vehicles between them. There’s no street parking on our road, but there are a couple of lots nearby/within walking distance. We often have guests over for game nights and such, and usually fill the driveway up during those days.

Grace asked him how long he would need the driveway, and he said “indefinitely, it won’t fit anywhere else.” She let him park for the night and told him we would talk it over and get back to him.

I’m worried about liability issues and that I don’t know or trust Rob. I think he’s weird and impolite, and I’m worried he will take advantage of us. Grace says telling him yes is the neighborly thing to do, and that I am being overly suspicious and critical of Rob. WIBTA if I said no to Rob?

EDIT: formatting.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/skvvl1l on 2024-01-06 14:55:52+00:00.

I (F20) am married to my now husband (M20). We have 2 children together both female twins, My step sister (F26) has been in their life since they were born and has been huge help until she got a boyfriend who got her pregnant, she recently gave birth to her son and her boyfriend and her broke up soon after co-parenting their newborn son. She has still been living with us and it has been no problem,

Soon i realised money from the nightstand in my bedroom has been disappearing I never left huge amounts of money in there just incase, My sister has been buying her son very expensive things. She doesnt have a job so I have been a little suspicious on how she has brought all of these items. Yes i want the best for her and her son I have asked her numerous times to get a job and i can watch her son as i am a stay at home mom. One day more than just money disappeared, My ipad, My mothers necklace and around £200 and a watch went missing,

That week my sister came home with new baby clothes, toys, pampers ect. She was even wearing new clothes and accessories. I questioned her about my items and she denied and said she never took them, i was still a little suspicious but decided to let it go as i could easily replace those items. I decided to set up cameras around my house incase she had been taking my things, I was showering and my husband was at work and my step sister was watching the kids. I leave the bathroom to see my room left in a mess, my dresser had been gone through and my nightstand was left open and everything in it was missing. I immediately went to my step sister and asked her about my missing items and she continued denying i told her i was going to check the cameras and she face went pale, I pulled out my phone and reviewed the footage to see my sister entering my room and leaving minutes later with alot of my missing items.

She screamed in my face and said it was her only sorce of income and she shouldnt have to steal these things instead they should be given to her as she has been a huge help and needs the money for her son. I told her to give me back all my things or i will get the cops involved. She said no as she needed the money, So i told her to get her son and leave my house. She went to our fathers house with my step mother they have been blowing up my phone calling me a selfish asshole for not helping her with money as she cannot afford to buy things for her son and my husband makes plenty so i should help her. So am i the asshole in this situation?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Relevant-Concert-465 on 2024-01-06 14:11:04+00:00.

I have 3 kids. This is about my oldest daughter (F14). After her dad passed away his family have been spoiling her too much by buying her whatever she wants. Especially her uncle.

For christmas we decided to buy tablets for all the kids. My daughter decided that "it's not fair" that her younger siblings got the same model of tablet as her because according to her "since she didn't have a tablet at their age they shouldn't have tablets now too or at least hers should be better" I told her that she is not special and shouldn't expect special treatment, she gets the same gift as her siblings. She screamed at me and called me a bitch so I took all of her christmas gifts away.

Of course she went crying to her uncle and guess what? He bought her the highest model of Ipad.

I took it away and told her uncle that he is no longer allowed to send her any gifts. He called me an asshole and said I don't get to decide that and she is their late brother's only child and they will treat her how they see fit

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ResidentLie9901 on 2024-01-05 20:57:28+00:00.

Idk how to word the title. 30f. I just had my 3rd and last baby 2 months ago. My husband and older kids (12 + 10) help but like.. it's not really helpful, if that makes sense. Like if I ask someone to watch the baby so I can shower they do but they bring the baby in to the bathroom and keep the curtain open the entire time so the baby can see me (at least 2 out of 3 times). Or if I ask someone else to make dinner, they will but they ask repetitive questions on what to do or how to do it (both my older kids do know how to cook because they took an interest in it early on in life). Any time I ask any of them to hold/keep an eye on the baby for a minute, they absolutely do but they just follow me everywhere with the baby. Saying things like "what's mama doing?", "she will be done in a minute baby and then she will take you back". And I feel psychotic because they ARE doing exactly what I asked but they just follow me with the baby the entire time OR ask me to walk them through what I asked them to do even though they can do it themselves. Kids and husband. And I have voiced this several times but I don't know if I was being too calm or less stern than I should have been because they just continue doing it. So I just stopped asking and my husband asked why I'm not asking for help anymore and I said "because you guys really aren't helping me". He said I'm wrong for saying that.

ETA: I've been unclear. I don't ask my other kids to parent the baby. They don't change/burp/feed the baby. They are asked at most once a day to watch the baby for 10 minutes at most; when I am cooking or going to the bathroom or cleaning. I ask them to cook small meals (for themselves) maybe once a week. Something like Mac n cheese or pizza. My husband is the biggest culprit. My kids ASK to watch the baby but I never go more than 10 minutes if they do because 1. it's not their responsibility and 2. they are still kids and a lot could go wrong. I wouldn't ever force my kids to watch their siblings. They literally ask if they can and if I say "can someone come keep an eye on the baby for a second" they BOTH come running and fighting over who's going to. Do NOT project you parentification BS on people. That's not what this is. I don't understand how holding a baby or talking to her while she's in her swing is me "forcing my kids to be parents". The kids also do not watch the baby while I shower, unless their dad asks them to for whatever reason. Too much could go wrong. The showering thing is 100% my husband.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Same-Mind835 on 2024-01-05 16:25:48+00:00.

I very well could be wrong here, idk. 31f and I am an alcoholic. I've been drinking heavily since I was 13, when my brother died. In December of 2021 I decided I wanted to take control of my life and I quit drinking. My husband was super supportive at that time and despite me never asking him to, he stopped drinking as well. He's not an alcoholic but he did have drinking problems (not knowing limits when he did drink or making stupid decisions that even I wouldn't have made). So, we both stopped drinking together and again, I never asked him to do this.

Well, we moved back to his home town 2 months ago and he started drinking again, socially. I have no issue with this. I simply didn't want it in the house and he agreed to that. He could even sit out in our garage and drink and I wouldn't care. I just physically do not want it in the house. I don't want to see it because it is still hard for me. But there have been 2-3 separate occasions where he will walk inside with an open beer and just set it down on the counter and forget about it and go open another beer in the garage, leaving his basically full beer on the counter. And I fucked up one night and I drank one. It was 2 weeks ago. It was at that point that I fully realized I would never be able to drink, even in moderation, because that one beer started what I could only describe as a "frenzy". I wanted more and was immediately pissed off that I didn't have more. So I talked to my husband about it and he apologized and said he would be more mindful and not bring it near the house and all went back to normal. But last night he shows up with his buddy and he had a beer with him. Set it next to the TV when he went to the bathroom (I was watching TV). He then went outside, leaving it inside. So, I dumped it. As I'm dumping it, he came inside and asked me why I was dumping his last beer and that he "only left it for 2 fucking seconds". I told him from now on, anything brought in this house will be dumped and if he can't respect my one request, he can leave (I own the house). I'm not spiraling because of him. Respect it or go. He says I'm being overdramatic.

ETA: commenters are right. Me being an alcoholic is NOT his problem and I made it very clear in my post that I understood that. I don't care that he drinks. But he was in full agreement that he wouldn't bring it in to the house because I communicated that it was hard for me and continued to do so. Why couldn't he have left it in the garage where he drinks anyways?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Dramatic_Decision420 on 2024-01-06 12:48:07+00:00.

So I (21F) am a TA at a school for 13-16 (GCSE) and 17-18 (A-Level), the school I work at is close to where I live and so I have a few family members who’s children go there.

My cousin Ru has a son J (15M), Jay likes to skip lessons and argue with teachers in lessons or when confronted when skipping.

At work today as I was walking to my next lesson of the day I noticed jay arguing with 2 teachers, he sees me and calls me over at this point the two teachers also see me and wave me over.

I ask what’s going on and jay says that he’s being accused of trying to provoking his teacher into an argument, I ask him what he said and he responded ‘I only asked her if her husband’s still dating her friend’. I knew immediately what teacher he was talking about, she was currently in the middle of a bitter divorce although I have no idea how the students knew about it.

I told him that asking her that was needlessly cruel and that yes that does count as trying to provoke his teacher. He pulled a face, the two teachers with him thanked him and told him to come with them to the office, I headed to my lesson and didn’t think about it for the rest of the day.

Got home and maybe 20 minutes later Ru is at my door shouting about how I caused her son to be suspended because I wouldn’t help him out and explain to the teachers that he didn’t mean what he said as hurtful and now he’s going to be a week behind at school because of me.

I’ve got relatives now going off on me about ‘family loyalty’ and ‘being there for each other’, I didn’t think I did the wrong thing but the constant badgering from them is starting to get to me.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Liviwfw on 2024-01-06 12:20:42+00:00.

My nephew(13) was bullied over his weight two years ago.

Five days ago he asked me to get him a new Poirot novel as his birthday present. I did not think of his past experience when I bought the book. It did not occur to me then. I just got what I considered one of the best Poirot books which he hasn’t read yet.

He was a little startled when he saw the book yesterday. Looked taken aback and momentarily upset. But then he smiled and thanked me for the gift.

My sister later told me the reason for his reaction, which is that the book reminded him of how he was made fun of by his classmates. She said it was stupid of me since I knew of how he was bullied. Was I an asshole for not thinking about the way others used to bully him?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/aitathrow99999 on 2024-01-06 10:25:51+00:00.

I’ll try to be quick although it’s a long story.

I (26F) live in a very small town with my dad (55M) who’s disabled. He can get around on his own, it’s just more convenient for us since I’m able to run most of the errands.

Anyway dad has two cars, one has manual shift and the other is auto. Due to his mobility issues dad can’t drive the manual, so it’s usually me who’s driving it. Also my workplace is 2 hours away from where I live, it’s not a massive deal for me.

I also have a coworker (40F) who relies on me for the rides even though it’s a 20 minute drive from her home to the workplace. So I pick her up and drop her off. She doesn’t have a car and public transportation is crappy in our area, and I also don’t charge her for rides since I pass her street on my way either way. She just checks the location app and goes out whenever she sees I’m approaching her place. Or sometimes I park in her driveway.

Recently the manual car wasn’t starting so I had to take the auto car. It’s a really large SUV and I’m not very comfortable with driving it. I’ve been driving the manual car since high school and it’s a super tiny coupe so I’m used to smaller cars. It was literally my 1st time ever driving another car. Also the manual car is an import and it’s RHD, so my perception is slightly off when I drive a normal car.

So she asked me to go in her driveway and since I was driving the larger car I messed up and accidentally hit the lawn with 2 of the wheels bc I’m used to sitting on another side and bc the auto car is wider than the manual one. Her driveway is super narrow and as I said I’m not familiar with driving huge cars so it was a mess up on my end.

Anyway she saw the tire tracks on her lawn and was really pissed. She yelled at me saying that if I can’t go in the driveway without hitting the lawn I should get my license revoked. I explained that I couldn’t take my car bc it broke. She said that in this case I had to ask my dad to drive me to work. I got pissed bc it was an unreasonable demand, 1st of all my dad is disabled, 2nd he wouldn’t be super thrilled about spending 4 hours behind the wheel just to take me to the work and back.

So next day I texted her I won’t be giving her rides anymore. I still drive the auto car bc in the manual car a part broke and it needs to be delivered from overseas so it takes time. I won’t deny that maybe it was an overreaction on my part. But I feel hurt by her comment and also I don’t want to go in her driveway again, hit the lawn and get yelled at again. I’m not losing anything if I refuse to give her rides. And I feel like she should’ve been more grateful. Anyway she was angry and called me a bitch. Our other coworker said I’m an asshole because the 40F really needs the rides. Now I think whether I was really an asshole. The 40F has a wild temper so she probably didn’t mean what she said. But it was still hurtful anyway.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/crownpoly on 2024-01-06 12:53:49+00:00.

So we have a yearly dinner at this very fancy restaurant for my aunt and uncles birthdays (twins)

The table is a 10 top, 4 on each side and 2 on the end. I am admittedly running 5 mins late, but when I get there I finally find my family.

There’s only one problem, there’s no seats available. I look over and see my cousins kid- who’s like 4, who I assume wasn’t supposed to be there. My family greeted me and is asking me to pull up a chair. But there is none, this place is literally packed. Plus there’s not a lot of room already at the table.

So here I am, I’m already an introvert, standing there looking dumb in the middle of this big fancy restaurant.

I told my aunt I’d try to go find a chair and literally just left.

Throughout the dinner, I just texted them happy birthday and said that I didn’t know what to do and left. I think they were pretty upset with me.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Traditional_Egg_5010 on 2024-01-06 12:33:35+00:00.

My brother (13m) and I (16m) lost our dad 10 years ago. Mom got married to Jared 6 years ago and after like a year my mom asked us if we would be okay with Jared adopting us and "maybe changing your last names to his or adding his as a hyphenated last name". I said no and my brother followed. My mom decided we should discuss it some more in family therapy and we went for a few months, then we had no therapy when stuff closed down, and then we returned when in office therapy was back on the table. Throughout the stay in place order my mom would ask us about our feelings and if we were more open to the idea.

Recently my mom decided to try the divide and conquer way since the therapist mentioned that my brother said no because I was. She tried talking to my brother and he was adamant he would say no as long as I'm saying no.

Mom then sat me down and asked me why I was saying no. She told me she had a few very practical reasons to want the adoption to happen, including protection for us if she were to die so we could stay with her husband. I asked her if that was because she knew I would want my extended family to fight for custody and to live with them but because she doesn't like them she wouldn't want that and knew my decision would carry some more weight unless I was adopted first. She denied it initially but then said yes. Then asked me why I was against the adoption. I told her I didn't want another legal dad and did not want the protection being adopted would offer.

She then told me about my brother saying no because I'm saying no and she wanted me to agree so he would change his mind. I told her that won't happen and nothing she says will change my mind. She asked me to at least encourage him to be adopted and I told her I would not.

I did speak to my brother anyway and he said he doesn't want to do it if I'm not and it would feel weird to him to be adopted by Jared when I'm not. He doesn't remember our dad so the attachment isn't a reason for him like it is for me. I told him I wouldn't be mad at him if he said yeah. He said he knew that but still.

Mom and Jared sat me down and asked me again to say yes so he could adopt my brother and once again I said no. Mom started to cry and she got really angry with me. Jared said I was at the age where I could be mature and compromise on this. He told me I might not love him but surely I don't hate him so much that I would rather end up in foster care than in his care if mom died. He also said I am putting my brother at risk.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Own_Break4123 on 2024-01-06 10:39:23+00:00.

I (15m) have a sister Leah (8f). 7 years ago my mom died and 6 years ago my dad met and married Angela. Leah calls Angela mom and loves her and thinks of her as just her mom, not her stepmom or anything. I never thought of Angela as a mom or a parent or anything. I always kind of wished for the marriage to break down but part of me never expected it to as well. I always knew dad still loved mom but over the years it did become obvious that dad didn't really love Angela and was with her because he thought he should move on. Dad and Angela have my two half brother's together who are 4 and 18 months old and a few months ago they started divorce proceedings and Angela moved out.

This all came about because of several slip ups where dad called Angela "Nat" which was my mom's name. Happened first when they were early in the marriage but got worse in the last year and a half until Angela realized dad didn't really love her. I heard a lot of the breakdown of their marriage because they fought a lot. She was really hurt and dad did eventually admit he didn't actually love her, he just tried to make himself love her and give us another mom.

After they separated it was agreed Leah would go between Angela's and my dad's with our half brothers because Angela was mom to her. Angela and Leah both wanted me to go too but I never wanted to. Angela was never important enough for me to want to continue a relationship with her in that way. I'd have to see her sometimes and that's okay but I don't love or miss her and I don't want to be in her house where she's the only adult/parent around.

Leah misses me a bunch when she's gone and asked me why I didn't want to go to "mom's house" and I explained Angela isn't my mom even if she's hers. Leah said don't we both have two moms. I said she does but I only have one. It really upset her and she tried to convince me I could have two moms as well.

My dad tried to talk me into it saying it would make the divorce easier on Leah and then he brought me to some therapy sessions where the therapist agreed it was not in my best interest to go. Angela was really upset and tried to plead her case. She told me she loved me and considered me her first and oldest child.

Dad has been pissy at me lately because Christmas was rough for Leah who spent it with Angela. She missed me and apparently they were all sad Christmas Day. I talked to Leah on the phone. But I spent Christmas with my grandparents aka mom's parents. Dad told me I should be going to Angela's house and it would be easier to make the whole transition of divorce work if I did.

AITA?