Am I the Asshole?

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A catharsis for the frustrated moral philosopher in all of us, and a place to finally find out if you were wrong in an argument that's been...

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Imaginary_Squash_198 on 2024-01-05 16:53:38+00:00.


This is going to sound like we are a bunch of kids who ended up fighting but this is a very weird situation. I am absolutely clueless on how to proceed

So this girl who I had an AMAZING vibe with texted me yesterday and she invited me to come along with her to a stand up comedy show on 14th jan . I politely declined because I had exams after a day or so (this is not something we fought over )

Now this is the thing we fought over She told me her dream was to make sure it was that stand up comedian who would be her first ever show .

In an ABSOLUTELY JOKINGLY AND IN A LIGHTHEARTED MANNER I said "it was weird but okay lol"

It's because that guy is massively overrated and everyone in the reddit community knows that he's terrible . I also sent her a link (basically redditors reaction to how bad his comedy was )

Although I also told her immediately to have a nice and fun time .

Her next reply was the following "archiving you for a week or so hate people who can't vibe shit load and ruin my excitement ✨🫶"

She hasn't replied to my messages since then

I am going through 2 feelings/questions right now

  1. I'm feeling guilty that I ruined her excitement although I had 0 intentions to do that , and also when I sent her the link I was just sending it in a lighthearted manner

  2. Pissed , I am absolutely angry that she broke communication over such matter , I believe that the only way to descalate is communication and she has broken that. Also it feels like the one time I expressed my opinion she totally neglected it .

I really don't want to double text her , I know for a fact that she will then later always think that if she gets pissed and shows disinterest I will always be there to appease her

I liked her a lot, but she won't reply .I feel like an appropriate reply to her archiving my texts and basically not texting would be me blocking her .

Was I the a**hole? I really didn't mean to do that

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/AUFunmacy on 2024-01-06 06:06:23+00:00.


I’m a 19 year old male who is currently quite unwell. I have chronic migraines that occur almost every day at night time (usually wakes me up at 1-2am) and it has proven to be quite debilitating. I get hardly any sleep and I am living in constant anxiety about when my next migraine is going to be.

For the last 10 years I’ve gone back and forth from my mums to my dads and vice versa every single week. I absolutely hate it but I also never have wanted to make one of my parents feel like I would rather be with the other, so I’ve just kept on switching. If I am being completely honest, I much prefer living at my mums house because I have more privacy, less bossing around and a better room. My stepmum while incredibly bossy, gossipy, stingy, inconsiderate and annoying, has never done anything egregious to me so I can’t really justify telling my dad I want her to go (especially since it’s been 10 years). Given that I’m not doing well physically or mentally now, I’ve decided that I really don’t want to to stay at my dads and have been trying to minimise my time there as much as possible.

So for the past few months I’ve been staying at my mums house for like 9 out of the 14 days between. I’m meant to switch every Friday, and do when I’m going to my mums house but when switching to my dads I’ll make up excuses for why I can’t come that day and will come tomorrow. I know this is the wrong way to go about it but my dad gets really upset and asks questions like “Do you not want to come to my house anymore?” I just feel really bad. He always says to me that he’s so grateful that “you have kept coming to my house even after you were 18”, almost like he is trying to manipulate me into continuing to.

Am I the asshole for not just telling my dad outright that I don’t want to be there.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/aitathrowawayhai on 2024-01-06 06:02:47+00:00.


I (26F) have a friend “Liz” (25F) since we were in high school. Liz has beautiful curly hair (dyed) ginger, I don’t know much about curls but looking at references i think she might have 3b or 3c hair.

Last week she came to church with pin straight hair and her natural brown color. I was totally taken aback since she never straightened her hair, not even to formal events, and had been dying her hair for years. I asked what was the occasion, thinking she just straightened it with an iron, and she told me she got it straightened with keratin.

I asked her why did she destroy her hair, and she told me I knew she had been really depressed and she wanted something “she could control”. I know she has been depressed. Around two months ago she underwent a knee surgery and has been walking with a cane, and just before new year her dog had to be put down. I get getting haircuts after being sad but i thought that was ridiculous.

Her hair was the most identifiable part of her, the way she would style it was very fun and you could find her easily in a crowd. Today i tried to find her at church and told her that without her hair she was harder to find, this bothered me because now she just melts with the crowd and isn’t that special anymore. At lunch i told her i missed her old hair and felt like she had lost her fun personality with her hair.

She didn’t reply but i noticed she was upset, our friend that was with us at lunch told me that was mean, I didn’t think i was but maybe i should apologize, AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/michxhs on 2024-01-06 06:00:42+00:00.


So I (F19) have been struggling on knowing what I actually want to do with my life, Covid kinda messed my ages of finding out what really makes me passionate and I'm lost, but I tried for my parents anyway (I live in a VERY small town, it literally has 0 universities so I have to be 3 HOURS away to be able 2) and the only way was to live with my aunt, my uncle and their daughter (17) since they were the only family I have there. At first it went fine but after some time I started to notice them being weird with me and at the same time i was not rlly sure if I didn't like being there in the house or in the university or the career path or if I didn't like anything at all, I had no clue and had other issues to think about because the time I was there, I got made fun of in uni and got almost (TW: abuse) abused my a close friend of mine but anyway, Christmas vacations came up and I was READY to go to my hometown, they went to Las Vegas and left the house alone to me for 3 days, on the third day my parents had to go to the hospital (hospitals are better there than in my town) and they would stay with me in their house and take me back to my hometown, but I decided to take all my things with me to 1. Think a lot about going back or not 2. If I did go back organize my things and 3. Let my cousin's room clean for her to use. So we left and before I left I texted my aunt saying:

"hey! I took all of my things to organize my stuff, don't be scared if you see everything gone Haha!"

Which she responded with "hahah okay very well"

I am now supposed to be back in uni on Monday and TODAY (Friday) my mom texted her about me going again and my aunt took a lot of time to respond to which then she replied: "I had to ask my husband first but he thought that she wouldn't come back here because she took all of her stuff and now we will have a cousin of my husband live with us for two months" So now I have no place to live at, I don't have any family and it's difficult for me to find a place in 2 days so l guess I won't be able to study this year....! know I probably should've clarified but I was also struggling with the trauma I got the time I was there, my mom also thinks my aunt probably lied about the cousin thing because they don't want me there anymore, but I wasn't difficult to live with?? My aunt didn't even give me food and I don't even eat, l eat very little, and she made me clean more than her own daughter did, and I even cleaned when she didn't ask me to, I helped her sell things and helped her on errands, I had to walk 30 minutes or more because her lazy husband WITHOUT A JOB just didn't want to pick me up so I don't think i was a bad roommate: ( oh and my parents payed her for having me there so AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Pure-Philosopher-175 on 2024-01-06 05:52:03+00:00.


Hi everyone, I’m in two minds about my response here and would like your opinions. Today, my husband and I (41M and F) took our young son to a kids performance at a local theatre. I booked us three seats on the end of a row. I tend to get quite anxious in crowds, so I prefer to sit on the end where I am not blocked in by strangers. About five minutes before the show started, a family of five (two parents, two young boys around 4-6 and a baby in arms) arrived. Turns out, they had booked last minute and did not have seats together. They sat the two boys in the empty seats directly in front of me, and had booked a spare seat in our row (beside my husband). Their remaining seat was right at the back of the theatre. The mother approached me and asked the three of us to move one seat down, so the father could sit directly behind their two kids, and she would sit at the back with the youngest on her lap. I said “No, sorry, I prefer not to do that. I booked these seats for a reason and would like to stay here.” She was not happy with this. Finally, after a lot of muttering, the dad sat in his booked seat, and she stomped off to the back, snapping “I hope this comes back to you.” I just told her she was the rude one, and sat back down to enjoy the show. The father and boys ended up moving to some vacant seats further back anyway, and she gave me a filthy look when we crossed paths in the auditorium after the show. I don’t think I did anything wrong. Sure, it would have been nice, but that was the seat I booked for a reason. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Practical-Dealer-568 on 2024-01-06 05:43:03+00:00.


I (27f) volunteer at a rescue and was walking a horse in the arena. A mom with a little girl comes in and asks to say hi to the horse. I say no because I'm working with the horse but she can say hi after. Perfectly reasonable, right?

Nope, kid walks up to the horse and tries to say hi, and the horse gives a warning nip. She immediately starts crying and the mom is mad at me for it. I immediately reminded her that 1) she signed the liability waiver, 2) equine liability law exists for a reason, 3) that was a warning bite and not a real one so she better get out before her kid gets bitten for real (or worse), and 4) I told her not to approach so it's not my fault or problem she gets hurt.

Her mouth drops and tries to protest but I told her to get the fuck out of the arena before they get hurt and they lost the privilege to say hi.

The kid was steal screaming and crying while the mom stormed off and complained about me. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Immediate-Owl-8334 on 2024-01-06 05:31:50+00:00.


Hi, I don't normally use reddit so sorry if I make mistakes. I've been seeing tiktoks on aita and I decided to post this here to get a strangers perspective. (I don't know if I wrote it right or not?)

Me and my partner got assigned together in English to write a fake book together in class that had to be like 30 pages long. Me and my partner I'll call him "A" takes his grades really seriously. As soon as we got assigned together he rolled his eyes at me and asked me if "I was even gonna help out?" So right off the bat he was already being mean and rude to me. However, I tried to be as nice as possible to him. It took us about 10 days to finish our project. Which was 2 days before the deadline.

This is where I messed up. In Google docs we wrote two stories one was the rough draft of another story that we were gonna right but decided not too and the other was the one we completed. I deleted the one we completed by accident because they were both titled the same thing. I didn't realize until the day of. When I realized I didn't tell him because we had started to become friends and I didn't want to ruin our friendship. He had English during 4th hour, right after lunch. I decided to tell him then that I accidentally deleted the project. I realized I probably should've told him sooner but I was scared. He got scared and told me that the project was worth 300 points and that he doesn't want an F because it would mess up his GPA. I apologize to his profusely while crying begging him to forgive me and to not tell the teacher.

When we get to class the teacher ask us to email her the project and I had to tell her what happened. She said that she sympathized with us but grades were "Due in 2 days" and she needed to turn them in before Christmas break started. She allowed to give us extra credit in which we took but it only gave us a 98/300. A when to his desk and started to cry because his grade dropped from an A to the class to a low C. Mine dropped from a C to an F. A refused to talk to me the entire class period. I started to feel bad so I kinda cried myself.

I tried to apologize to him after class ended while we were in the halls but he told me to "Leave him the fuck alone" while he was crying. He then said I ruined his GPA and he doesn't want to talk to me again. I tried to comfort him saying that he can make it up next semester but he slammed the locker and rolled his eyes at me and walked away. This happened two days before Christmas break and I tried to contact him on instagram to check on him but he blocked me. I know I messed up. But I don't think I'm in the whole wrong for a mistake. I've been crying because I feel guilty and my mom said I should have been more careful and grounded me because I failed the first semester. I feel horrible and hurt. I feel like A should get over it because he didn't fail the class and a C is still good?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/feellikeshxt on 2024-01-05 16:12:57+00:00.


Husband made a comment saying, “Guess we’re never getting paper towels huh” and I got a little mad so I said, “I have a lot on my plate sorrry if I haven’t bought more”. He goes “what do you have on your plate, you have nothing” So I got angry, because I feel like he’s diminishing everything I do. The night before I washed all the towels bc they were getting dirty and I take out our two dogs most mornings and nights. I tend to clean the kitchen and wash dishes too most mornings. He does it sometimes but vast majority is me. I mentioned how I washed the towels and have similar tasks in my head. He goes, “well you WANTED to do that, it’s not necessity” It is? Bc I know he wasn’t going to anytime soon. I then just said hey I deserve an apology bc I felt under appreciated and valued. He then says “you’re acting all high and mighty, I tell you I appreciate you all the time” and then I said “but that comment was hurtful so you should apologize” and he ended it with “I’m not talking to you the rest of the day, that’s it” and locked himself in his office. I’m walking thru the interaction and maybe I took the initial comment too seriously, he does tell me he appreciates me almost everyday, but the comment whether it’s in jest or not still hurts. Am I being too sensitive here? Was I the asshole in taking it too seriously?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/WME0WM on 2024-01-06 05:27:56+00:00.


My siblings and I all moved out of the country for different reasons.

My sis got married and moved to her hubby's home country 8 years ago

My brother is studying overseas

As for me, I just got married and my hubby and I are beginning our digital nomad lifestyle together (it's been 3 months).

We're all visiting our fam over the holidays. My dad asked me over a call where we'll be staying and I told him we'll probably rent an Airbnb in the area

He got upset.

The thing is, my parents home have 3 rooms (including theirs).

My sis will be in one room, my brother in another... Where are we expected to stay? Even if my brother and sister crash in one room, I wouldn't feel comfortable.

My hubby and I are intimate and it wouldn't be comfortable. The sounds and the windows .... It's all just too awkward to even think about it.

And besides that, my hubby and I like drinking and partying, so I don't think it would be so respectful or mature to come home late at night to my parents while they might or not might be awake.

My dad always has this idea of a big happy family who does everything together 24/7 but I'm not aligned with that.

I think a part of it is that him and my mom both feel lonely, they don't know how to alleviate that loneliness from one another.

So.... AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/lalalaloo on 2024-01-05 14:00:39+00:00.


AITA for being mad that my friends didn’t tell me they got Taylor Swift tickets

A little back story- I am a huge Taylor fan. Her music has gotten me through some major life challenges over the past few years.

I found out last year that my friend group all coordinated to get tickets to her concert and didn’t tell me until after they had secured tickets. When I found out, I was bummed and told them I would have loved to have been included, but it wasn’t a big deal. The week of the concert I find out that they sold all of their tickets and made a huge profit. I was bummed and annoyed because I had really wanted to go to the show, but again it wasn’t a huge deal.

When Taylor announced additional tour dates over the summer and I realized she would be about 2 hours away, I was ecstatic. I got waitlisted to get tickets via the verified fan process and messaged this same friend (group) and they said they were also waitlisted. My response was literally, “I’m devastated!!” Their response was “maybe we’ll get lucky!”

Fast forward to MONTHS later it’s NYE and it nonchalantly gets brought up that this same friend group apparently got tickets AGAIN and no one told me. I was so flabbergasted and hurt that I started crying in front of everyone at the party.

So I’m immediately embarrassed that as a grown ass woman I started crying in front of a bunch of people over Taylor Swift tickets. I excuse myself, return to the party and spend the rest of the night trying to get it together, but it just kept getting brought up by everyone. I was trying to make light of it, but people were openly making jokes about it as part of the game we were playing etc. It got to be so uncomfortable that we wound up leaving before midnight.

So it’s days later and I’m still hurt by the fact that no one told me they got the tickets after knowing I was hurt about the exact same situation a year earlier. I understand not being invited because they could only get 4 tickets, but a heads up would have been nice.

Also, I’m just generally kinda pissed that they get another chance to go to this once in a lifetime concert when they sold their first chance to make some quick cash.

So please help me out here Reddit. AITA for being genuinely upset and leaving a party early over a Taylor Swift concert??

Edited out my age because a lot of people seem to be focused on that. Which is kinda confusing because grownups have feelings. It was an emotional physical response, it’s not like I had a temper tantrum. I was mortified that I started to cry and tried to get it together so as to not ruin the night. I was genuinely surprised. I know there are no guarantees and I didn’t expect you to be included in getting one of their tickets. I would have preferred they just told me when they got them instead of hearing about it in front of a bunch of people months later.

Edit 2: thank you all for your thoughts. There is definitely a lot for me to consider on both sides and I appreciate it. Just to clarify, I didn’t run out crying as some major meltdown. I teared up, was immediately embarrassed for tearing up and excused myself to the bathroom. I then spent about 2 hours trying to shake it off (pun intended) and have a good time. I eventually left because we were playing a game in which it kept getting brought up again as a joke that I had gotten upset.

Edit 3: Completely owning the fact that I am 40 and the problem is probably me lol. Thank you all. I’m definitely not going to end friendships over it, but can’t make any promises on the crying lol.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Toes_68 on 2024-01-06 05:21:39+00:00.


I 18F, am a freshman at college! When finding a roommate, I didn’t find anyone to click with because I was late to the game, so I decided to just let fate decide my roommate for the year. On the day of move in, I met my roommate, we’ll call her N. N was very outgoing, however I knew we were not compatible because she wanted the world to revolve around her. She was super nice at first, but then things took a turn for the worse. She often brought along her boyfriend, with whom I worked with. Her boyfriend took an interest in the things I was buying my boyfriend, B. B was very aware of the things I had gotten him, however soon little pieces began to disappear. It started with a shirt, then I would notice a cologne go missing, just small things. I have connections and got my boyfriend his dream present, along with a lot of his favorite teams gear. Due to the issues I was having with N, I ended up just staying with B for a while. All was well until I walked back in to my room, and noticed N moved out. I was initially excited, until I saw the safe (that I bought to keep her from stealing) missing, along with the Xbox Series X I had bought for B. I had contacted her, asking why she had stolen it, and her reasoning was “because I got everything I wanted.” To be honest, the stuff in the safe not only contained cash, but hundreds of dollars worth sports memorabilia, along with the Xbox, resulting in around $3,000 being stolen, and that wasn’t all. I got campus security involved, along with the police and I am pressing charges. She claims to have returned it, yet I have yet to receive anything. AITA for suing her and taking her to court over $3,000?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Agitated_Feature2523 on 2024-01-06 05:21:08+00:00.


I (13f) and my mom (27) recently walked out on my stepdad (47m). i never knew my dad. my step dad has been in my life since i could remember.

my stepdad is an extremely wealthy man and we lived in a very nice house. but me and my mother were miserable. he was awful. my mom is too nice and i always hated the way he treated her and i see the sacrifices she does for me. my stepdad treats my mom like a pretty object, not a person. we were always walking on eggshells around him

something really had happened that crossed the line, and my mom and she decided we should leave. she doesn’t have any contact with any of her family and wasn’t sure where to go. we just drove and drove and long story short we settled down at a lovely seaside town. my mom works at an air bnb and the owner is so lovely. we have a room there together.

i feel so happy here. my mom told me she’s spent all her life relying on men and never felt like she could ever do anything for herself, but now everything has changed and she wants to rely on herself.

she recently told me she’s been dating a man in our neighbourhood and would like me to meet him. i was furious and called her a useless mom and a hypocrite, and she started crying. i felt really bad but i really do feel like she’s being a hypocrite.I feel so conflicted and angry, everything is finally perfect and we are happy and now I’m scared she’s going to ruin everything

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/random_stufff5 on 2024-01-05 12:45:59+00:00.


My bsf and my close friend got into a fight. My bsf texted her but she wasn't online she had gone out with her mom and when she came back she found texts from my bsf asking her to send a video of her lip syncing to a song cos she wants to send it to someone. She got upset cos she didn't reply on time and stopped being friends. They r both Muslim so I encouraged them to forgive eachother and be friends. My close friend said she was gonna be Friends with her if she wanted to but my bsf didn't want anything to do with her. My bsf started leaving me on delivered even when I could clearly see she was online. When I confronted her abt it she ignored the text and acted like everything was normal. This week I posted a story and my close friend asked me to mention her. I mentioned her and a couple other close friends including my bsf. She later texted me saying I broke bsf code by not mentioning her in my story and mentioning my close friend.The crazy part too is that I sent her a ss of me mentioning her and she left me on seen.She got mad at me and started saying that we can't be bsfs if I'm gonna be friends with my close friend. I got offended cos they did used to be bsfs and she also became super close with her when we were still bsfs. She then continued to text my close friend wanting to be good and my close friend told her that they r but she doesn't wanna be in contact with her as they used to. My bsf still told me to not talk to my close friend even when they became friends again and now I'm finding out that she tells everyone I'm scared of her. I refused to choose between them because I found it unfair that my bsf is able to be friends with her even when I wasn't friends with her but when it's the other way round she's not having it. AITA??

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Puth987124 on 2024-01-06 05:14:42+00:00.


I 20F am on birth control and the company that I get it from gives me plan b with it since my insurance covers it. I use to get 8 plan b pills per year (now I only get 2) but I’ve mentioned this to my group of friends and whenever they need plan b they always come to me. Which I understand but it’s my stash and I’m in college and like to have fun (responsible fun but ya know shit happens) I like to keep the pills handy for when I need them cause things happen and I wanna be prepared. Well during this time of my life, slip ups would happen so I would take a plan b. This left me at only 2 or 3 pills left. My friend also 20F has been messing around with a guy in our friend group. They never use protection and have had some scares. The whole friend group knows about all that. We tell her that she needs to start using condoms and she says “yeah yeah I know” but continues not using one. One day me and a few of my friends are getting breakfast and she texts me asking for plan b. I read her text out loud to everyone cause at this point we told her so many times to use protection and still hasn’t. Everyone at the table says things like “don’t give it to her” “she needs to learn her lesson” “he needs to buy it for her” and I kinda agreed (I’m also just a very influenceable person and will listen to anyone’s opinion/advice) so I tell her that I’m all out and I don’t have any so she buys it herself. All is good no babies around here. Almost a year later someone that was sitting at the table during breakfast told her recently that I had plan b the whole time. So she texts me a paragraph saying how she’s going to look at me differently now and how upset she is at me for lying. I understand her being mad at me for the lying part, I get that but when it comes down to it they were MY PILLS and I should choose what I want to do with them. Am I the asshole in this situation?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/NeighborhoodForeign6 on 2024-01-05 11:16:38+00:00.


Hi everyone, Happy New Year!

My gf and I are wanting to book a week away this Spring, and we've been looking at cat sitters for our bundle of fur. Our cat is a lovely persian, and as such needs a little more care than the average mog - eye-wiping, combing, extra zooming and cuddles etc.

As soon as we began discussing cat care, I asked if we really needed a cat sitter to stay over night. We had recently paid for an overnight stay, which came to £40 for one day/night. Meaning that if we wanted someone to stay the entire week, we could be looking at as much as £280.

My soution was for a sitter to come for about an hour each day, perhaps half an hour in the morning and half an hour in the evening. I even have friends in Sheffield who would happily do this for free.

I've read up on the subject a fair bit, and every answer - lamen or professional - that I find is that yes, it's fine to leave persians overnight. We've also left our cat for 12 hours at a time before, without any problems.

My girlfriend won't budge on the subject however, and said that she knows she won't change her mind. That was the last thing that was said on the subject.

AITA for not wanting to pay the extra £200?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Killyou2morrow on 2024-01-06 05:04:26+00:00.


So I (24m) just got discharged from the military medically for large blood clots in both of my legs (still have my legs luckily lol). I got a 60% disability rating from it and am now getting a monthly allowance from the government for it. ~1400$ a month. It's been around 7 months since I've been out and we have a new home but we are now not very good on money. We have been paycheck to paycheck for awhile now and it's been stressing both of us out. So my husband (32m) has been asking me to get a job but with my legs, it hurts to stand for more than 30 minutes, not to mention lifting or walking for long periods. I'm in the process of trying to get a better percentage from the VA but that can take months to happen. I know that we have been hurting for more cash and everything but I am genuinely in pain even sitting here writing this. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Safe-Rub-7665 on 2024-01-05 08:07:04+00:00.


The narrative unfolds in first grade when Tory (27F) and I, classmates celebrating shared birthdays formed a bond. Our families were acquainted, marking joint birthday celebrations. Just that but never a close friend. Just forced by families if I tell you. Yet, a shift occurred when Tory's younger senior boyfriend entered the scene in 8th or 9th grade. Although I vaguely recall having a crush on him back then, our paths diverged when I attended a different high school.

In university, I reencountered him, feeling an immediate connection but viewing him platonically due to meeting other people in the interim. I only admitted to having a crush in the past cause I wanna come clean about how after that I couldn’t look at him beyond friends. Despite my attempt to rebuild a friendship with Tory, she sternly advised me to back off, suggesting I find a boyfriend and cease association with hers. Irritated by her passive aggressiveness, I hoped she'd understand my harmless intentions. One day, her boyfriend casually hit on me, prompting me to terminate the friendship. Despite his repeated pleas to keep it secret from his girlfriend, I obliged. I felt disgusted by this advancement. I even thought to telling her by Later, I discovered she had blocked me on social media.

Years passed, and out of nowhere, Tory's boyfriend reinitiated contact. We became coworkers but not close enough to “need” to talk to one another. He divulged details of her alleged infidelity with multiple men simultaneously. Initially sympathetic, I soon questioned his credibility, considering his own questionable behavior. Attempting to clarify matters, I reached out to Tory through a mutual friend, only to be accused of desperately pursuing her boyfriend. Despite my desire to inform Tory of the situation, I grapple with the dilemma, uncertain if she would believe my side of the story, given her negative perception of me. That was then. But now given that he is an authority above me I can’t risk all these and I don’t want to express.

We slowly build the same friend group and now he’s unavoidable. I also need him for my work. He started initiating to hit on me again and now I’ve pleaded him to not talk to me about it again and he’s stopped. Our company doesn’t fire people on the Basis of asking someone out unless there’s evidence of harrasment

TL;dr: the complex tale involves bonding with Tory in first grade, drifting apart in high school, and reconnecting with her boyfriend in university. Efforts to befriend Tory were met with rejection, and the subsequent revelation of her boyfriend's advances led to the end of our friendship. Now, facing his claims of her infidelity, I contemplate whether to NOT inform Tory, mindful of her unfavorable opinion of me. AITA for considering this course of action?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ConsiderationRare165 on 2024-01-06 05:02:54+00:00.


I (16F) have a younger sibling (14M). Recently, I got accepted into a pretty prestigious program that requires me to join Zoom calls that will last for hours. When my sibling asked if he could sit right next to me (off camera), I turned him down saying that I did not feel comfortable sitting next to him given that he can be sometimes obnoxious, and I need to be undisturbed the entire time. I kept saying no and after he kept on asking, our parents were saying that I am in the wrong and that I am the crazy one for not letting him. I just want an experience that I can call my own, I would not like him invading my personal space. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Old_Virus_1982 on 2024-01-05 07:58:35+00:00.


I(14f) have a friend, a close one, who is also 14. As most teenagers she vapes, drinks the usual. hate those kind of stuff and tend to stay away from them.

Now its gotten to the point where she is doing snus, edibles, smoking joints or wtv. She let's the whole world know by posting it on her story, one time she bought it into school and just stunk of it. She also has gotten worse due to some of her friends who just get high or wtv with her making her do it more frequently because she has people to do it with.

And I get it's 'just' weed but she's literally addicted at 14, which worries me. I don't know whether to let her hit rock bottom and let her go her own way or tell her mum.

Me and several other friends have tried helping her but it just doesn't seem to work. Maybe we cant do anymore than we already have? Her parents had caught a vape in her room, they obviously threw it out and believed the lie she told them (which was that a friend kept it there) I can't help but think are her parents to blame as well? Are they that gullible? Shouldn't they be asking what friend etcetc.

All my friends are encouraging me to tell her parents before it gets too far. I do too but i'm scared that she will hate me for life. But if im being honest i would rather have a friend who hates me than a dead one. S

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/selfproclaimedsmarts on 2024-01-06 04:27:46+00:00.


I recently found a gift my boyfriend gave his ex in his closet. There was a sweet note on the back and my anxiously attached self freaked out. He told me he didn't even know it was there. He also told me he went through his "mementos" and got rid of stuff from his exes because he knew it would make me uncomfortable. He thinks it's weird and "crazy" I get upset because he says he shouldn't have to erase his life for a new relationship.

I know I have attachment issues and I am working on them. AITA for telling him he should dispose of his exes things? Why do people insist on holding onto their past? Honest questions here because this isn't something normalized for me.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Crazy_Mochi_38 on 2024-01-06 04:22:47+00:00.


My mom keeps shaming me for being fat. And I’m tired of it. So would I (24F, around 180-ish pounds) be TA for telling her (almost 50F, 200+ pounds) that she has no room to comment on my weight? (I am big-chested so idk if that contributes to any of it) Context: I am afraid I might be TA because I am autistic and she might get mad that I’m taking charge of my own body. Also she has been struggling with obesity for a long time and she MIGHT be policing me because of that? IDK. Help!

TWfatshaming

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/RangerRickEnjoyer on 2024-01-06 04:20:38+00:00.


I (31m) got into an argument with my girlfriend (27), it was dumb, but she was drunk, and said "I never nagged you like this about your drug use when we met." That's a very sensitive topic for me, and she instantly regretted it and put her hands over her mouth, apologizing.

I raised my voice and said "HEY!" before calming down. She apologized again before leaving to give me some space. My friend was there (26m), and he said "Looks like you just lost a friend", and left.

Later, we had this convo by text

Him: I have a very strict rule that if a friend of mine every gets aggressive with a woman, that is the last time I will be seen with him.

Me: Cool, have a nice life.

Him: Not likewise, piece of shit.

Me: Knew you'd say that, that's why I put your engagement ring in the garbage disposal.

Me: Made you look

Then I blocked him.

He's sent a lot of hate my way on social media, and a lot of comments are on there calling me an abuser. It's getting to me, aita?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ThisisAlerion on 2024-01-06 04:19:45+00:00.


For extra info, I [25F] and my husband [34M] we have been married almost 6 months, together 5 years.

Recently when I was tidying up I moved my husbands phone and whatever way I held it I somehow brought up Siri suggested apps and the first app on it was Grindr. Obviously I was shocked to see this on his phone , he’s never given any kind of sign that he would have this either and I never would have expected something like that from him. I did then confront him about what I had saw and he denied it and was saying I was accusing him of basically being gay and that’s not him he’s straight and wouldn’t do that to me etc.

The next day I did snoop just to see and went in his App Store on his iPhone and could see it had been downloaded at some point (it had the cloud and the arrow) again I questioned him up about this and when he gave me back his phone to show him it had changed from the cloud and arrow to “Get”. So I showed him his purchase history and there it was downloaded 3 months prior. He apologised and said he knew how this looks but again, he’s not into men and wouldn’t do that to me and doesn’t know why it’s there.

I feel that I’m being made out to be an asshole for questioning him from the start and for having a hard time believing him because I just don’t see how you can get the app without downloading it in the first place for it to be on siri suggested apps and the first app that popped up on it.

Am I the asshole for how I’m handling this because I really don’t know what to do next.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Stunning-Sense-4378 on 2024-01-06 04:19:31+00:00.


So about 3 or so years ago I(23f) became friends with a girl(24f) that we will call Kate. Me and Kate looked a ton alike and shared the same interests, so we instantly clicked. She had a bubbly personality that I loved and we were always together. This perfect friendship was short lived, though, and the bubbly Kate that I thought I knew was soon transformed into a judgemental, selfish person. She was demeaning and overcritical and it destroyed my self confidence. If you’ve been in a toxic relationship or environment before, you know that the controlling person constantly uses the amount of time you’ve known each other as a reason for you not to leave. Kate did this. When I would talk to her about certain things she was saying that hurt me she would say that it is my problem and start to talk about herself and her boyfriend at the time. She also would bring up positive memories from years ago that would make me forget the terrible image she gave me for myself and the horrible way she treated me. So let’s get to the struggle. Kate has lived with her parents her whole life in a religious household. She still lives with them. Recently, Kate’s father cheated on her mother with a coworker. Her parents were splitting and her father was becoming vulgar and aggressive towards she and her mom. This rocked Kate’s world because she had grown up with a stable family relationship and it was all getting flushed down the drain. Kate has a different boyfriend now, that she leans on constantly during this rough time period. Before I had known about the family situation, I had started to drift from Kate and we weren’t very close, which led her to become extremely close with her SO. Once I found out about the situation, I tried to give Kate grace for the way she had treated me in the past because she could’ve been living in rough conditions during our friendship. Kate recently texted me and asked if we could meet up and work out our friendship. I agreed and we set up a time. I haven’t gone yet, but I still don’t know how much I should be there for her considering the awful things she put me through. AITA for not wanting to be friends anymore despite her situation?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/sunflowersenses on 2024-01-06 04:17:58+00:00.


My (F21) fiancé, Sam (M22), and I are getting married next fall. We are going through the invite list and there has been a lot of tension about one specific person being invited.

Sam and this person (David) have been friends since elementary school. Because of this, Sam and David's families have grown close. My future in-laws love David's family. The families have traveled together to visit at our university multiple times. My future MIL believes that Sam and David are still best friends, even though they've grown apart because David’s personality is abrasive.

Six months ago, David was involved in a fraternity hazing scandal at our university, where he was arrested and charged with extortion, harassment, and assault. The news story described the details and it really appalled me. I immediately told Sam that I would not tolerate this type of behavior and that I needed to know Sam wouldn't tolerate it either. Sam agreed and said he would cut David off. However, my future MIL has gotten all of her information about David from David's parents. She is biased and believes David wasn't involved like the victim is accusing. Because my future in-laws are hearing the information from David's family, they think he's innocent and are trying to push Sam and David to hang out whenever the families visit us at university. I absolutely refuse to be around it. There are times I won't see my future in-laws when they visit because they insist on having dinner with David included. Sam doesn't want to cause issues so he only participated in activities with David when his family is involved. I do not like this, but I don't want to cause a rift in his family.

Here's where I might be TA. As we are wedding planning, I told Sam that I am more than happy to invite David's family because he is close to them, but David could NOT be invited. Sam agreed, but I could tell it was putting him in a difficult spot so I broke the news to Sam's parents. I told Sam's mom that I was extremely uncomfortable with David's actions and even if he is found not guilty, I know how David behaves when the families aren't around and I 100% believe David did the things he is accused of. Sam's mom told me that David wasn't physically involved in the hazing and that I didn't understand the full story. She also said that Sam and David have been friends forever and it wouldn't be right to exclude him from the wedding. I told her that I would not allow someone with these horrific allegations to be allowed at my wedding and that is final.

Sam's mom has been very cold to me since the conversation. Sam is receiving lots of flack from his family, his buddies, and the family of David. Sam hates the conflict and would rather just invite David and ignore him at our wedding. I won't budge. Sam is feeling really stressed and is now upset with me for not being "willing to compromise."

So AITA for not wanting to invite David to the wedding?

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