Am I the Asshole?

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A catharsis for the frustrated moral philosopher in all of us, and a place to finally find out if you were wrong in an argument that's been...

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/SYRLEY on 2024-01-06 04:13:15+00:00.


In November, my partner and I flew up to see my family for my pops funeral. I had to book the flights only a few days in advance so they were quite expensive.

My pop (my mums dad) was in hospital for a few days before he passed and during that time, my Dad was keeping me in the loop. He insisted that if he died, I had to come up to make his funeral and be there for my mum. He said I had to for her. I agreed that I should be there.

I asked about my partner coming, saying I can't really afford two last minute plane tickets. Dad said he assumed he was coming with me and also said he will pay for the flight. I said I'm fine paying for the airport parking which was $80. The flight ended up coming to about $600.

I initially paid out of my savings to book the flight (which took out a big chunk of my savings) because I thought I was getting paid back at some point.

Fast forward to today and now I'm being told he was only going to pay for MY ticket and I haven't actually seen any of it yet. Now I'm down almost $700.

I just feel like he said he would pay, but then forgot or realised he couldn't follow through with that, and now he's telling me he never actually said he would pay for both.... Because he NEVER said anything about paying half. Even after I told him the prices, told him I can't afford it etc.

TLDR; Had to go to pops funeral by plane. Dad told me he would pay. Didnt exactly specify that he would only be paying for one ticket, so I assumed he meant both tickets. And he assumed my partner was coming so it wasn't like he didn't know id be booking two tickets.

Now he's saying he only meant one ticket. I was under no impression that he would only pay $300 out of the $700 i spent for this.

AITA for wanting the full $600 back? (2 plane tickets minus airport parking i offered to cover myself). Coz he said he was "surprised" when I asked about the money for both tickets.

If I could easily get that money back, I wouldn't care so much. But its difficult for me to save money coz of living expenses.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/newaccount1234443 on 2024-01-06 04:13:02+00:00.


AITA? so i m20 and my gf 27 live together, we live upstairs in a shared house, we have our own bathroom and thats where the washer and dryer is, thats where the issue arises. She went to the bathroom and about 30 ish minutes later i hear the laundry stop and i go to check on it and realized shes still in there, we dont care if the other is around us when we use the bathroom, so i go in and shes reading a book and she looks up and says what are you doing? i inform her im moving the laundry along since she had been in the bathroom for awhile. she flipped out saying she just cant read apparently and threw her book and stormed off, i didnt make a big deal of it, i just told her i moved laundry along and i even went downstairs to use the bathroom even though i have a bum knee just so i wouldnt bother her, so reddit AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/fawnsart on 2024-01-06 04:07:17+00:00.


tonight, my family (theres 5 of us) and I decided to go to our favorite restaurant before school started back from the holidays. it was around 8pm when we decided to go. my mom was out earlier this day (4pm -7pm) with her brother and came back intoxicated. she does not have a good track record with drinking.

we drive to the restaurant (silent the whole way there), get to the restaurant, sit down and everything seems okay. the next thing we know, my mom starts crying?! because my younger sister (13) and step dad, had mean looks on their faces? we were so confused. we all started consoling her, telling her we are all just hungry and that we're happy to be here.

we finally get our drinks so we then get up to go and get our food. my mom was now happy and smiling. we all sit down and when my mom gets to the table she says shes going to the bathroom. we say okay and start eating.

5 or more minutes pass and she comes back with this ugly look on her face (identical to shrek's mean face might i add). we ask her why shes looking like that and she says a women accidentally walked in her stall while she was on the toilet. we all collectively agreed that it happens sometime and that it was most likely an accident. she starts crying more while saying things like "she was probably a di*e and wanted me".(???) she literally yelled that and the woman probably heard. we all just sat there stunned. everyone in the restaurant was laughing and staring. me and my sisters just got up to get a second plate before she embarrassed us more.

while we were getting our second plate, we could see AND HEAR across the restaurant my step dad yelling at our mom to calm down and to not ruin our night. the next thing you hear is a plate hit the floor. she pushed his plate onto the floor and she spilt her drink. we then see my step dad say something to her and then walk out the door. we were contemplating whether or not we should follow, because she is our mom but our step dad is the driver so he would probably leave us. we grabbed our phones and left the restaurant.

we knew she was the one paying tonight so it wasn't like she didn't have the money but i still feel bad she paid the price for 5 and only got at least 2 peoples worth.

AWTA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/WayHinungdan on 2024-01-06 04:07:09+00:00.


I, 26F, married a 26M. We have a 3 yr old together.

Recently we went on a 2 weeks vacay and it exhausted us all. When we got back the nanny of our kid got sick and has to be rushed to the hospital.

My husband has no job yet and we are planning to start a small business. He wanted to start things right away but I am still exhausted since I work night shift.

All I want is rest.

I told him to hold off planning and budgeting for the business and also our budget was still lacking about 13-15k ish which will credit the next week.

We were all foggy and tired and told him to wait but he instead lashed out. I asked him if I can go home to my parents to give us both relief but he would not let me.

Now, he makes it to a point to remind me that the money was my fault because I have poor finance skills when in reality, he was the one buying unnecessary stuff.

Yesterday, I had approx 2 hrs of good sleep and I asked him today if I can sleep since I feel ill. He murmured something under his breath, but I went straight to our bedroom and slept.

AmItheAsshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/peachwavee on 2024-01-06 04:07:02+00:00.


my mom is constantly putting pressure on me, specifically about school. I’m 23F uni graduate and I’m applying for a bachelor of education to be a teacher. It’s very competitive and hard to get into some of these programs and i’ve gotten rejected from quite a few, even with good marks/experience. She is completely set on me moving out of province to go live with my extended family and do my BEd there. The program is a year long and I still have the opportunity to apply. The problem is, I’m not sure I want to move provinces. I know it would only be for a year (length of program) and i’d be really busy with school, but the thought of living in a tiny town in a cramped house with my entire dysfunctional extended family makes me apprehensive. Today she told me I needed to start the application process (you have to email the school first) and I didn’t. I just didn’t want to and wasn’t into the whole idea. To be clear, I’m still going to apply. Anyway, tonight she asks me if I started I said yes but I obviously was lying. She then demanded to see the email which I never sent out because she knew I was lying. Cue a whole argument where’s she’s calling me selfish, I’m making the wrong decision and a bunch of other stuff. I apologized for lying but it was too late. I just explained that I didn’t want to leave and move there but I would still apply, I was just apprehensive. I genuinely am still going to apply, even though the idea is not appealing to me.

The whole thing went completely out of proportion and she was saying she refused to ‘fork out money for a two year program’ when I could just do a one year program and live with my family which is cheaper. We’re obviously not rich, which I’ve always taken into consideration. She’s just always pushed for me to do a grad program, it just has to be on her terms, which i understand. Now i feel completely terrible because she says I’m stressing her out and it’s my fault, she’s going to be stressed at work and that’s my fault too. She always says that she can’t retire until I’m done school, which just makes me feel extra bad. I just feel like everything is my fault. I’m not trying to whine or anything at all, if I’m being spoiled or unreasonable, please just tell me.

Anyway I feel very guilty, I’m not spoiled or expect anyone to just freely give me money for whatever I want. I just feel like I have bit of a a lack of choice in my situation. She basically said she would financially abandon me if I chose any other educational route. I’m not sure what will happen if I don’t get into this program. On top of that, I feel extremely guilty for even considering anything else or other options. I only lied because I knew she’d completely freak out if I didn’t, which I know is still wrong. I don’t really know what to do, with the cost of living it’s so hard for me to move out and be completely independent. She’s continuously making me feel like such a horrible person and i’m not trying to be at all. Am I being selfish ?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ChemistryLate1407 on 2024-01-06 03:55:34+00:00.


Please, for the love of God tell me if I'm wrong. I was raised by a fucked up family and sometimes I truly don't see that I'm saying something offensive. To sum it up, I have a large friend group. But for context, this involves my best friend "Jane" and my best friend "John", whom I happened to start dating 9 months ago. All of us are from the same friend group. Jane hooked me up with him. We are ALL super close. However, John started working at a different plant 2 months ago and has gotten really close to this guy "Nate". To a point where he is blowing off all of us (our entire friend group) to hang out with Nate at his place. Nate has a baby at home and doesn't like going out (understandable) so my BF John just hangs out there. But it's rather excessive, or getting there. Most weekends he is over there. Well, I was alone tonight and John was supposed to be home at 9 but texted me at like 9:10ish and said "hey, do you mind if I stay a bit longer?" I said "no problem but can you go grab Jane for me and bring her over since you're hanging out with Nate anyways?" He said "sure, no problem at all". And went to go get her. Now, the issue is that I had already known this was going to happen and had been texted Jane saying "you should just come over and hang out because John is with Nate, probably tongue p*nching his fart box". I thought it was funny. She thought it was funny. Hell, even John probably would have found it funny on a normal day. But Jane said something in the truck, trying to make a joke about it and Nate was in the vehicle too and apparently he went silent and awkward. So when John got back here to drop off Jane, he said I'm an AH for saying that because Nate felt it was homophobic and his brother is gay so he took offense. AITA? I truly didn't mean for it to come off like that. My sister is a lesbian and I have no issue with gay people.

ETA: thank you for the comments so far! I think I get it now. See me and Jane are bisexual so there's a lot we joke about that we think is funny that isn't to other and I think I get it now. jokes about a guy being gay is taken more seriously. Thank you for input. I'm the AH;

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/that1chick7520 on 2024-01-06 03:55:30+00:00.


Should I 20f be folding washing and putting away my husband 33m clothes we got into a disagreement tonight because I folded and washed his clothes 3 days ago and he still hasn't put them away, I put away the towels, my clothes, and anything that's not just his, I'll fold it n put it on his dresser or on the edge of the bed, he was saying that it's a chick job to put away the clothes, which wouldn't be a problem except he said it's a chick job, he has one kid m14 and I'm pregnant with our first baby in June, I feel that it's more than enough for me to be washing and folding all of the laundry and the least he can do is put it away AITA for telling him he can put his own laundry away, or is that my duties as a wife, what would you consider female only chores? TIA

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Buffyredpoodle on 2024-01-06 03:51:26+00:00.


My mom and sister supposed to come from Poland to stay with me (F44) for 3 weeks for Easter Holiday, but they decided to come earlier. I told them not to come on other dates because it doesn’t work for me. AITA for uninviting them? They were supposed to come 2 weeks before Easter, and leave almost one week after. This been in plans for 6 months but they called today, and they want to come early in March for 3 weeks instead, and leave before Easter. They changed their plans because my moms niece (F52) who lives in Norway called, and I invited herself and her family to stay at my moms for Easter. My mom felt obligated to accept her visit. Because my moms niece did a favor for my mom few months ago. They are hell bent on changing the dates, and don’t want to hear my arguments at all. My mom never visited me before, and I haven’t go there for 10 years. Mostly because I was broke or my work situation. I wasn’t able to secure more than a week off from my work. The travel time from the moment of leaving my home to getting to theirs is about 27-30 hours. (It’s 3 planes one way). So for me with my health issues is really hard to go there, and then fly back after 5 days. Additionally I haven’t visited because my mom told me I should loose a lot of weight before I visit them. Because all my moms friends, and family would gossip, and made fun of me. My mom is all about appearances, and she hinted that me being overweight would bring her embarrassment. (No Comments). Easter is big deal in my country, as well is for me. I was hoping grandma can show me, and my daughter how to cook some traditional Polish food, and that it’s going to be really great time to teach my child our traditions. My daughter is 11, and she never spent holidays with my family from Poland. Second reason I wanted specific dates is that my daughter will be out of school for a week for spring break for Ester. I also was approved for time off from work during Easter and their last week here. We could all travel together. Also my daughter wouldn’t miss school on the day we have to drive them for 8 hours to airport. Can’t leave her home alone (I’m a single mom). Third reason I don’t like the idea of them coming earlier is because my daughter is so busy with school, and she’s doing 2 sports, and on the school + sport days she wouldn’t see them much. Additionally we could only take them shopping or trips on weekends. Last time my sister came, she wanted to go shopping almost every day. She wanted to see big cites and parks. I’m sure she will be asking to do the same. It will be my job to show them around as they will not rent a car. If I try to move my PTO to earlier March I still won’t be able to take them on long trips because my daughter will have school. If I take just them shopping and other short trips my kid will be sad she can’t go.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Sad_Pomegranate_582 on 2024-01-06 03:44:48+00:00.


I (22F) live on the first floor of an apartment complex. My upstairs neighbor is consistently banging furniture and things on the floor and has a new born baby and a young dog with them as well.

I understand that being on the first floor means I’m going to hear noise, and while that’s inconvenient, it really doesn’t bother me, so that’s not the problem here, but I felt it was worth noting.

Earlier today, before I got home from work, my neighbor placed his dog on the upstairs patio and he has been there ever since (it’s now 11pm and I got home close to 5pm). For the last 6 hours (minimum!!) the poor dog has been upstairs wailing and crying to be let in, but I haven’t heard any other movement, which leads me to believe that my neighbor might not be home. The temperature is supposed to drop down to freezing tonight and I’m worried for the safety of the animal if it’s left out for too long. So would I be in the wrong if I called animal control or the police to perform a wellness check to ensure the safety of the animal? Or should I just hope that the owners get home soon and rescue this poor puppy?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Dapper-Ability-1742 on 2024-01-06 03:36:41+00:00.


so my friend A, 20f, is very bad at being alone, she’s been in so many bad relationships one after the other, and just can’t seem to be single and heal before she jumps into the dating scene again. recently, after a big breakup with her long term long distance boyfriend, and a few situationships, she went on tinder and found a guy (B), 21m.

he immediately got on her good side, using a bunch of therapy buzzwords to make her feel safe and open up to him about her anxiety and other issues. it seemed so quick it almost happened overnight. all of a sudden she’s gone on a date with him, and he’s been super romantic, the chemistry was there, and she was falling for him.

what immediately irked me was the fact that after their first date, he had gone back and bought a music box that they both looked at and liked, and proceeded to message her half an hour after she went home ‘i went back and got that music box to give to you when i ask you to be my gf’

it immediately felt weird because that’s normally something you keep as a surprise instead of divulging it immediately after the first date. she thought it was sweet. then he messaged her and asked if he could still use tinder to swipe on girls and ‘wingman his friends’ she said she didn’t feel comfortable with that, and he backtracked and said she misunderstood his message and he actually just wanted to send his friend’s number to one girl who he already matched with before he matched with A (he asked this 2 weeks after matching with A)

that made me suspicious, but what happened afterwards was more concerning. he gave her his free travel card, meaning she now relies on him for free transportation, she’s running the risk of getting fined a lot of money if she gets caught using his card, and he will know of her whereabouts every time she uses the card, since it’s connected to his personal app.

he said he loves her and asked her to make it official after about 3 weeks of knowing each other, all the while every time my other friend and i tried to make plans with her she said she was ‘too busy’ they’ve spent a lot of time together, she’s already met his family and his best friends, but has stopped hanging out with us and i’m worried she’s getting love bombed and set up for failure in yet another relationship

every time she asks me how i feel about him or tries to bring him up in conversation, i don’t know what to say and i end up brushing it off, until eventually i told her straight up i don’t think he’s good for her and i’m worried he’s going to break her heart. she was very upset by this and now doesn’t want to speak to me at all

am i overthinking it? is he actually a nice guy?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/AdSecret2228 on 2024-01-06 03:33:05+00:00.


Me (male 14) and my friend (female 13) have been friends for 4 years. I was in a bad relationship for the last year and a half and she knew about this relationship. Me and my boyfriend were constantly arguing and yelling at eachother because he didn’t want anyone to know he was gay and still lies to everyone making me look like the bad guy. I was able to get out of it though. She helped me through the whole thing and was there for me the whole time. After me and him (male 14) broke up, a month later, she tells me they’re dating now and that she hopes it does not affect our friendship. I have her blocked on all social media sites and have not talked to her to this day. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/throwaway-gf-000 on 2024-01-06 03:33:05+00:00.


My partner (34M) and I (32F) were in the drive-thru getting some food. After the young lady said we were all set after ordering, I smiled at her and nodded and then she starting walking off to the next costumers car. Mid nod and smile, my partner shouted ‘thank you!’ to the young lady as well and then scolded me for not saying ‘thank you.’ I said I still acknowledged her and it’s not like I was ignoring her and I felt like the smile and nod was another way of giving ‘thanks’ but it appears I may be mistaken. Most of time the time I will verbalize my thanks, and other times I will use my body language like I did this time, but either way I will acknowledge whomever just helped me. When we got home, partner didn’t even eat his food and just went to bed. When I tried talking to him, it turned into a fight. I truly don’t feel I was being impolite to the worker, I thought should would understand my body language as showing appreciation, but after this whole stupid fight, I guess maybe I was pretty wrong in this.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/bp_1904 on 2024-01-06 03:31:29+00:00.


For context, my older sister (29F) has PCOS, same as me (24F). I have been incredibly lucky has it hasn’t seemed to affect my fertility to an extreme extent. I had my daughter two years ago, and after swearing up and down I was one and done my husband and I have decided to try for a second later this year. Unfortunately, my sister has been trying for several years and has not been able to conceive, she has a whole bunch of secondary conditions that aren’t mine to tell but they would contribute to her infertility.

With my first pregnancy I waited until roughly 10 weeks to tell her I was pregnant. We live interstate so I told her over the phone and made sure she was okay and asked if it was alright for me to continue to talk about it with her. She agreed she could handle it and does really well with my daughter whenever she visits!

Well over New Years she was up to visit and I told her (admittedly a little abruptly) that my husband and I would be trying for another baby later in the year. Her reaction was to say “no, no, no, no, no! You’re too poor for another baby!” I’ll admit I was a bit baffled so I changed the conversation. After an hour or so she left and I realised just how angry I am about her reaction. For one thing she doesn’t know about my finances and my partner and I are now better off than we were with my first, also I wasn’t asking a question, I was telling her out of courtesy so she wasn’t blindsided with the news that I may have a second child before she has her first. Her reaction has really turned my off continuously coddling her due to her infertility and I feel like it would be easier to just not involve her in this pregnancy at all.

Also, due to my PCOS I’m not even sure if I’ll be able to successfully conceive again or carry to full term. I guess I was also letting her know so I could try and build a support network in case of the worse. Our mom also had significant fertility issues, 3 stillborn and 4 miscarriages over 10 years. Doctors weren’t what they are know though so she was never formally diagnosed with anything.

Our mom has asked me not to confront her about it as only recently has my sister and mom’s relationship really taken a turn for the better. Lots of history there with my sister self victimising and my mom being somewhat emotionally inept. For their sake I agreed not to start an argument with my sister and just let the comment go but I can’t shake the hurt from her reaction.

So, WIBTA if I don’t tell her about the second pregnancy at all?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ThrowRAPrsional4639 on 2024-01-06 03:30:28+00:00.


My wife is 33 years old and in a really bad job at the moment. She mentioned to me the other day that she wants to put up pictures of her feet on the internet, possibly OF to get some extra money on the side. I was and am not comfortable with that and said I wouldn't support that and don't want her to do that.

She said I'm an AH for controlling what she does with her body and I have no right to tell her what to do. I told her that while I agree I have no right to tell her what to do, I don't like the fact that other men will be essentially jerking themselves off to pictures of her feet and it's a form of cheating imo. She says I'm being dramatic and an AH who needs to be more open-minded.

Am I the AH?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/insurancemanoz on 2024-01-06 03:18:46+00:00.


Allow me to set the scene...

I'm one of the last on the plane, sat in business class (full fare, paid ticket, not an upgrade). There is a walled partition between Business and Economy.

I open the overhead bin and there is a little bit of room if I shift thing's about to fit my bags (I'm carrying well within my weight/size limits) when someone pipes up for me to please be careful with their bag.

The voice is coming from the 2nd row of Economy!!

With that, I pulled his bag out and placed it at his feet and promptly stowed my bags. Keep in mind there is a placard in the bis saying "Business Class use only".

FA's tried to find a place for the Economy bag but it ultimately had to be be gate checked.

FA's apologised to me for the 'inconvenience' and said they should have been more watchful The Passenger (understandably) and one of the ground personnel tried to have a shot at me for taking his bag out - said I shouldn't have touched his bag.

My argument was I paid for the space according to my ticket. My bags were where they were meant to be.. his weren't.

So, Reddit, AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ThrowAway902412 on 2024-01-06 01:47:15+00:00.


I (30F) live in a suburban neighborhood, and my next-door neighbor (40sM) has a dog that often wanders into my yard to do its business. I've tried talking to my neighbor about it, but it hasn't really improved the situation.

Recently, after yet another unwelcome visit from the dog, I decided to call Animal Control to report the issue. I was frustrated and tired of finding surprises in my yard, and I thought it might be the only way to get my neighbor's attention.

To my surprise, animal control actually issued a citation for this. He found out that I was the one who made the call, and he's absolutely furious that he's out $400. He claims I overreacted and should have given him more time to address the problem himself.

AITA?

ETA: To respond to some additional requests for info. The yard is fenced off. The dog has dug an opening and crawls under it. I've brought this to his attention twice over the last week.

ETA 2: In addition to the fine, animal control also told him that if this happens again they're taking the dog.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/chjeran on 2024-01-06 03:15:19+00:00.


Long story short. We were dining at a restaurant and discussing career progression and salary growth etc. My partner is a lawyer who has 1 year of Post-Qualified Experience (PQE) after admission to the law society etc.

He was saying he makes 120k a year now (please ignore country, currency, etc), and he thinks his senior in the rank of "Special Counsel" (for reference I think the position is similar to a VP in a bank) makes $400k a year. I said it sounds like a lot. I talked to my other friends who are in the workforce (non-legal background in other sectors) and they think lawyers don't make that much in our country. I also said maybe they don't make that much, $300k is a realistic assumption.

I then went on to say that being in the Special Counsel rank means they have been in the industry for around 10 years, or 10 years post qualification. Assuming they start from around $120k a year, and gets $10k bump every year or slightly more, then it will be circa $300k a year.

My partner started getting annoyed with the number and he insisted its 400k a year and said 10% raise per year is realistic. I expressed again that sounds a lot.

We then debated for a while and he took various colleagues' salary (in different ranks, not Special Counsel) as an example to extrapolate the salary progression etc.

He got increasing annoyed throughout and he started shouting at me, saying

  1. i am deflating lawyers value, I don't appreciate them etc

  2. I should never say that they won't make that much, because that implies i don't believe they deserve that much

  3. I should not tell him what my other friends think Lawyers make because they are not working in the industry and have no clue

To be honest i didn't even thought about lawyers' value and whatnot when discussing this, i think that was a very far stretch. He also said hinted that this hurts his ego because i am making more money but don't have to put in hard work like he does etc. I also had no intention to undermine their value/social status etc I was just trying to be realistic when estimating salaries. Though later that night I did a quick math check to confirm 10% per annum raise would land a salary of $300k+ after 10 years, which 10% raise p.a. is not uncommon in the industry/country i guess.

He got so p*ssed off an we didn't talk for a night. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Cruel_Dad on 2024-01-06 03:11:02+00:00.


Our 15 yr. son Jose, an aspiring streamer, been asking for a gaming PC since before Thanksgiving. We missed out on the deal V had found so (in guilt) I decided to let him build one from scratch, although it costed well above our budget. I even solicited a favor from a family friend who spent 5 hrs. building it. Jose now wanted hard-wired internet and I knew that meant no time controls.

But I softened seeing his enthusiasm and provided him the cable on a condition that it wouldn't affect his grades AND neither of the Parents would have to wake him up multiple times every day for school. Grades haven't worsened (yet!) but his waking habit didn't improve. On New Years Eve, Jose and I shook hands on this promise again but in vain. Every morning is just like last year with screams to get him up. In frustration, I decided to take back the internet cable so I may put timing controls via wi-fi.

Now Mommy and Jose think I'm a cruel Dad for teasing him with a luxury and then taking it back. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/throwaway_cft on 2024-01-06 01:27:51+00:00.


I (42F) am getting married this year. I've known my fiancé for 3 years, and he proposed to me this New Year's Eve.I have a 14-year-old daughter and a 12-year-old son. He has a 13-year-old daughter.

Our kids have known each other since the beginning of our relationship, but my daughter just can't stand his daughter. On the other hand, my son likes him and has never had any issues with his daughter.

I can't understand the reason, but everything his daughter does is criticized by my daughter. I've talked to my daughter about it, and all she can say is that the other girl is annoying, childish, and she has even called her names. I really can't grasp the problem.

I find my future stepdaughter sweet and bright. I've never had any issues with her.

My daughter also doesn't like my fiancé. She says I could find a much better man. I've talked to my daughter, and she simply says she thinks he's dumb and arrogant.

After my fiancé proposed and I accepted, I told my kids, and my daughter didn't like it. I expected this reaction.

When she met my fiancé, she was extremely rude. I reacted and sent her to her room, where I told her to stay quiet and that her opinion doesn't matter to me. I'm getting married, and she has to accept it, just like she has to accept sharing a room with her new sister.

She had a crying fit and hasn't spoken to me for days. I told my sister and my mother, and they say I'm wrong. I can't see how I'm wrong. I'm an adult, a mother, and I decide whom I marry, not a teenager who knows nothing about life.

AITA?

Edit: I told her she had to accept it, and her opinion didn't matter because for the past 3 years, I've been trying to understand her reasons for being against my relationship, and she has never stated those reasons. So now, I'm getting married.

And for those who said I didn't make an effort to build a relationship between my stepdaughter and my daughter: My son travels alone many weekends with my fiancé, while my stepdaughter comes to stay with us at home. Even so, my daughter barely interacts and says it's disgusting for the two of them to travel together for hunting.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/EarConfident3092 on 2024-01-06 03:10:38+00:00.


My husband and I are new parents, and it has been challenging adjusting to this new life phase- especially when it comes to division of labor and what feels fair to both of us. My husband works full time, and I take care of the new baby. The baby care I do includes their bedtime routine and all of the night wakings/feeds, as well as all of their care during the day. If I go out to do something with friends (which is rare, we’re all new moms) my husband will gladly take any of these tasks over without complaint, but when we’re both home- baby care logistics is pretty much falls on me. While baby care is monotonous and sometimes “easy” it’s a job that never ends. I often feel unseen.

Today is the third day that I have been taking care of the baby with a sickness that was confirmed via a test. Our entire family was exposed to this from someone we were all staying in a house with for a long time, so at this point, me isolating from the baby isn’t going to do anything, they’ve been heavily exposed (yes, I talked to the pediatrician). Up until today, my husband had not yet been sick.

Last night the baby was up crying a lot in the middle of the night (and to be honest, I was crying too). I feel extremely sick and am very exhausted. This morning I come downstairs around 10 (I do morning feeds and first wake window in the nursery in the AM) and my husband is sleeping on the couch. He wakes up to go upstairs, and doesn’t come back down until 2 PM. At that time, I’m frustrated so I give him the cold shoulder, which he immediately picks up on and starts doing the same back. He makes himself lunch, and doesn’t ask me if I’m hungry or want anything (despite the fact that I had an abandoned pot of water on the stove that I had to turn off because the baby woke up). All I’d had time to eat was an ensure shake this morning so I could take medicine. He eats lunch, and goes back upstairs to sleep.

When he went back upstairs right after lunch, I sent him a passive aggressive text saying something along the lines of “thanks for asking if I was hungry for lunch when I’ve been taking care of the baby 24/7 while sick and you’ve been sleeping all day, I feel really loved and appreciated.” When my husband woke up again five hours later (when baby had just gone down for the first part of the night) he texted me back saying “doesn’t it occur to you that I have the same thing you have?” And said “don’t pull this passive aggressive shit on me.”

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/OrderlyThought7 on 2024-01-06 03:07:27+00:00.


I come from an Asian household. I personally can’t stand loud chewing or smacking, or just bad eating manners in general like talking with your mouth full (so food falls out or you can see the chewed up mess).

Obviously there’s going to be a little noise when you eat, but my mom almost proudly eats loud.

I politely told her it is considered rude to eat with your mouth open, and to smack loudly. My mom said it’s how she grew up and she can’t change it, and that it makes the food taste better.

I say okay, because at the end of the day, she can do what she wants with her food. I can’t control her. However, those smacking sounds still bother me, so I decide to leave the table and sit elsewhere in the house.

My mom comes in and starts arguing with me about how I need to love her and accept her as she is, regardless of whether she eats loud or not.

(here’s where I might be the asshole) I tell her that it’s not about loving or accepting, I simply found her eating sounds irritating, so I moved. I would do that with my father or my siblings too. I would move seats at a movie theater if the person behind me was eating very loudly. I just don’t like eating sounds.

She says that she can’t change how she was raised, and all she wanted was to enjoy her food but I made it a big deal for no reason. I’m too attached to American rules and manners, when food is just food and people should be able to eat how they want.

I told her that I understand what she’s saying, but I really just can’t stand loud chewing. Even if it wasn’t considered rude to eat with your mouth open or smack, or even if I grew up in my home country, I would still find it annoying, and I would still sit somewhere else because I just don’t like those mushy sounds. I’m not telling her or anyone else to stop eating, I just told her it’s considered rude, but I accepted that if she doesn’t want to change the way she eats, that’s her choice. I made my own choice to relocate myself because, for the nth time, I do not like loud eating sounds.

She tells me that there are bigger issues in the world, and that I’m acting like the world revolves around me, even though I changed MY location because of it, I didn’t ask HER to go eat somewhere else or to stop eating. I just pointed out that it’s considered rude. What do you guys think? Should I be apologizing? AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/NewDay0110 on 2024-01-05 23:49:43+00:00.


In September my ex-wife Regina started a new job that prevents her from dropping off our nine year old daughter Cassie at school in the morning during her parenting weeks. I agreed to allow Cassie to be dropped off at my house on her way to work. I also get her on the bus when it comes by at 8:30am.

The problem is that Regina has been dropping her off at 6am in the mornings which interrupts my sleep. They knock on the front door upon arrival and I come to open it. I then go back to sleep on the couch in the living room while Cassie also sleeps on the other couch. We both sleep until my usual wake up time at 8am. However, the sleep disruption is enough to make me tired during my workday.

I've requested that Cassie come in using the key that I gave her. That would at the very least not force me to get out of bed and walk to unlock the door, which fully wakes me up and makes it difficult to fall back asleep. I will still know when Cassie comes in the door because I sleep right next to it and can hear her enter. My ex-wife refuses to make that concession and insists that they knock on the door, waking me up, and expect me to open the front door to let her in.

Regina says that it takes Cassie too long to use the key and it's so cold outside. She also complained that I take too long to get to the door, leaving them out in the cold for longer than they want to be. She said that I should be "watching her" anyway (meaning she expects me to stay fully awake after 6am) and that this is easier on me than going to Regina's apartment to pick up Cassie and go back to my house.

I think Regina's viewpoint is ridiculous. I am providing free child care during her parenting weeks. If I didn't open my home for Cassie to stay in the morning, she would have to go to a paid day care center. I think Cassie is old enough that she should know how to use a key and regulate herself enough to be independent while I'm asleep. With the both of us sleeping in the living room, it's really no different from any night time during my parenting weeks so I don't think it's necessary that I be fully awake at 6am.

AITA?

[Edited to fix paragraph spacing]

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Karamel87 on 2024-01-05 23:36:02+00:00.


Burner account. I met bf "bill" more than a decade ago in uni. We broke up mostly due to his family and had LC for almost ten years. When the pandemic hit we reconnected and last year moved in together in a city close to his hometown (like 3h away). We both work from home, this city is LCL and we have a 3 bedroom house, so we can have a office for each.

His family is awful. When we were in uni he shared a flat with his friends but eventually had to leave because of his mom She had a key and went there EVERY day with food and clean clothes. Whenever i visited i locked the door because she barged in announced. One day we were being intimate and she pounded on the door until we opened. I argued with her, asked her to call first, she laugh and said she was modern (along with other things i don't remember but were nasty) and called me a tr@mp (first time i heard that name btw). I was fed up with her insults at this point and some other ugly things that happened before so i said sone bad things as well. His dad and sister (SIL) were also calling constantly and dropping by and SIL even stole money and crashed bill's car.

We got together again because bill explicitly told me he was almost NC with them. They begged for us to spend xmas with them saying they are old etc. In the end we agreed to spend c.eve with them. They live about 3 hours away so i drove there and bill back, i refuse to stay overnight. All was well at first then MIL said SIL is coming back from abroad with her 2kids and new bf and she should stay with us. It was a really bad fight namely because the house we live in, we say our house but i own it. He gave all his savings to his parents the year before we got back together to solve a problem his parents had(won't go into that) and i make a lot more than him. So he pays half the mortgage and utilities but the name on the deed and loan is mine. I suggested she rented a flat but mil said she needed to save (so i guess they assumed they could live here for free).I said no way his toxic sister, 2kids and a guy i don't know would move in. His mom flipped, said we have the space and live in the city so its better for sil, they are old and need "peace and quiet"(!?). My bf was quiet the entier time and i was furious. We left, argued a lot but bill said he agreed. 2 days ago he tells me his sis will arrive on the 19th and we should consider letting her stay for a month or 2. Needless to say we argue till morking. I had to go to the office yesterday and when i arrived he had a sofa bed in his office. I mean wtf? He said its his house too and i said i was clear from the start, i wanted NC with inlaws and so did he.

This is were i may be the ah. I was so mad i printed a standard eviction note giving him 30 days to leave. I was signing it, he came into my office... He left to a friends house, hasn't call and i cried myself to exaustion. I love him, he is so kind, funny and sweet. But i can't live with them. Was i an ah to give him the eviction note?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Moist-Comedian5033 on 2024-01-05 22:11:51+00:00.


I have 2 friends who eat a lot! I mean at least 1.5 times my portion. So after a few time I started to feel ripped off.

So the next time I told them a BS reason that I am not hungry because 'i already ate something' or 'i just don't feel like eating beef or pork, but can have vegetarian' (knowing they wont order it)

But then once they had ordered their meal, I would head to the cashier to buy my own food because ' 'I feel a bit hungry now' (obviously I was hungry all along).

However they still added the bill on me, and expected me to add my bill on them (so it gets split 3 ways). I said no and refused and simply stated I bought my own food.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/booty_breath on 2024-01-05 23:24:34+00:00.


I’ve (32F) been with my husband (40M) for over ten years now, we have two daughters together ages 9 and 11. Although I know we are both not perfect I feel as though he will never take accountability for his actions. It’s been a problem in his family, his mom aunts and uncles are all the very same. Quick to fight and never admitting when they’re wrong, just try to hit below the belt if they feel like they are losing type people. So I know it’s not entirely his fault, it’s how he’s grown up and defended himself.

Plenty of times in an argument he has told me this house (that we received as a gift from his family) isn’t mine and he can take me out whenever he wants. He’s told me all the money he makes is HIS own and I don’t do anything to earn money, he’s even said that I’ve stolen from him when I’ve been a stay at home mom for the last 9 years. That’s a decision we made together but he really pushed for. He’s said the car is HIS and I can’t use it at all when it was also a gift from his family for us to transport our daughters around and he could get to work. He’s basically pulled this power trip on me before after an argument just to be petty multiple times. The last big argument was a couple nights ago (that’s a whole different story) but we haven’t made up just been cordial. He made me lunch today and I’ve been making him tea or whatever he needs without him asking basically just going along as normal just not talking very much. Today I had been talking to some clients over text messages, we sell land and houses that he has bought and flipped so they are all under his name. I was asking some basic questions and if he had the GPS of the location and he said “let me see the phone I’ll just talk to them myself” and I “said no because I wouldn’t want him to take away my commission and say I didn’t do anything to earn it” he got mad of course. He said it was a stupid thing to say and to not ask him for any more help and do it myself then. I feel like that’s just what his job is and he should be willing to answer those questions from anybody. But am I the ahole from being petty and bringing up another fight when things were fine by my comment?

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