Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/RealDegree530 on 2024-01-05 15:32:29+00:00.

I’m in high school (10th grade), and was in my AP psych class the other day, and my teacher asked for examples of “nature” on him (Like his blue eyes, height, etc.). The girl that was answering spent like a three minutes, so I turned to her and whispered “He’s White”, to maybe give her an idea, like to say his eyes or his height or something. Where I live, caucasian folk are the minority, so his features stand out sorta. She ended up saying his face. But I afterwards felt really bad about saying that, and I think he might’ve heard. I don’t want him to think I’m racist or something, and I feel like what I said was rude. I’m not sure if he even did hear. Maybe he’s old enough to not hear it. It’s really weighing on my conscious, because what if it’s super sensitive with all the things going on in the mainland. Now I’m wondering if I actually am racist and it’s all internalized or whatever, because who even says that? Maybe I’m too sensitive and this doesn’t matter anyways. Should I go apologize, and how do I explain it? Do you think he even cares that a tenth grader said that?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Defiant-Tie2509 on 2024-01-05 15:32:08+00:00.

My friend let’s call her Olivia doesn’t use tampons. Olivia will only use pads which is very limiting to what you can do. We had plans to go to a water park this weekend. I got a text today saying she can’t go anymore.

She just got her period and she won’t be able to swim due to it. I got annoyed since we have been planning this for a few weeks. I told her seriously can’t you uses a tampon.

This started a fight where she thinks I am a huge jerk. I came for an outside opinion, and I know Reddit so I will make it clear that I am a women, I know how periods work. I will also say she is not crippled in pain when she has it and can’t swim due to her chose of period product.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/thaddea-lien88 on 2024-01-05 15:32:07+00:00.

Over the past 2 years, my best friend (29F) has been seeing this main situationship (30M) and this other guy (45M) after getting out of a long-term relationship of 6 years.

30M has told her that he's not ready to explore a new relationship with anyone, including her, yet still wants to continue this FWB arrangements but also nonplussed if it ends. My best friend has the feels for this man and frequently vents to me about his disinterest. Yet, she is currently helping him set up his business, helps him with his life issues, has a weekly "date night" with him, and introduced him to her parents for some reason. She said that she will keep doing these things for him "to show that she cares and that she has value" and is convinced that he will eventually choose her as a long-term partner.

She's been seeing 45M over the past 3 months who initially lied about his age, has expressed that he wants something more romantically and constantly lovebombs. Both men (30M, 45M) have recently divorced, with DV allegations made from both former spouses but my friend is not concerned as she feels that both of them "don't seem to be the type".

Initially, I've been supportive and being there for her to vent and talk about it. But as time has gone on, I'm getting pretty tired of her complaining and seeing her trying to justify these situations. I've been honest with her about setting boundaries (or moreso kicking them to the curb) with these men, how I'm concerned about her safety, and how she may regret spending so much time and effort with them, with very little return. Lately, when she comes to me for advice or to vent, I either keep my response pretty short and remind her that it's not really her problem to solve their issues, especially since she's not in a relationship with either of them, that I'm not interested in hearing more about them, or divert conversation topics.

She retorts that she's an adult that makes her own decisions, that Tinder/Hinge/meeting people organically doesn't have great dating prospects, and that she's tired of trying to find a man "with a clean slate so this will have to do". She thinks that I'm being an asshole for giving my honest opinion about these guys, being disinterested and unsupportive. I've declined hanging out with her recently as I'm socially exhausted and I need a break right now.

Am I being being really judgy here for pointing out these red flags? AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/throwawayheisrich on 2024-01-05 15:29:46+00:00.

I am female, 22 and my boyfriend is nonbinary 25. New years is actually our anniversary and the last new years would've been our 3 years. We weren't spending new years together bc they had to move back home for school, so they celebrated with their family this year. I started drinking pretty early in the day and by the time 12 o clock came around I was passed out drunk watching my eyelids. But we did already talk earlier throughout the day and spoke about our anniversary and new years and how we would be celebrating next week together. When I woke up in the morning I had a bunch of 'Happy New Years!' Text on my phone but none from my bf' I responded to all of them and apologized for the delayed response and explained I was sleeping. No one seemed to mind. Then I called my bf. No answer. I assumed he was still asleep. I waited a few hours and still didn't hear from my bf. I called and messaged again and finally my bf responded after several hours saying "not your bf. You didn't call or text me happy new years" I explained that I drank too much and passed out and I'm sorry but he didn't care. He just wished me a good luck in my new years and said bye. We literally have each other's names tattooed??? Then he posted on his spam account "I miss and love you so much but I have to respect and love myself more and set my boundaries" and all his little friends were cheering him on. I don't understand, I feel like I made an honest mistake and apologized a million times. I wish I could go back to that day and not drink so much or so early in the day. I love my bf. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Unable_Forever5 on 2024-01-05 15:28:28+00:00.

My mom married her husband when I (28f) was 16. I met him that same year and only lived in the same house as him for a little over a year before I moved out to go to college. I never saw him as a father figure, never saw him as a stepdad (meaning not a parent). I get along with him fine and he's a nice guy but that's about it. My brother (30m) never lived with him.

My brother got married in 2019 and my mom walked him down the aisle opposite his wife and her parents. Mom's husband was waiting for mom in their seats. He did not include her husband in the wedding as a parent because he wasn't one to my brother. This is something that upset mom's husband and I only learned this a few months ago when I got engaged.

How I learned this is my mom and her husband mentioned that he was hoping I would ask him or both of them to walk me down the aisle. I chose to ask my (paternal) granny. I chose not to ask mom because she and I had a less close relationship than she and my brother did growing up. My granny is the person who gave me the support I needed. My mom's husband told me it had really hurt to be publicly declared not a parent or parent figure when he has always thought of us as his kids in some way.

I asked him if a special dance with mom or walking down the aisle with mom would make him feel better and he said no. He said he didn't want to be just something to mom but to be publicly acknowledged as a father figure. I told him he's not a father figure to me and I'm sorry that he wants to be but it's not how I see him. I asked him if there was something else he would like to do and he said he wanted to walk me down the aisle or perform a father/daughter dance. I told him neither of those were an option. But if he wanted to do something else we could discuss it.

He and mom both mentioned it over the last few months and now my wedding is closing in on us and my mom told me I should have given him an actual role as a parent of the bride. She said it's breaking his heart to know he only gets to be her husband and not a fatherly figure. She asked me if they paid for the wedding, if I would change my mind and I said no. She asked how much they would have to contribute to the wedding for him to get the role as father of the bride and I told her no amount. He then asked me why I didn't want him to fill the role when he's the only father figure I ever knew (my dad died when I was 2). When I spoke to him he told me I was just being cruel and to have both of us reject him as a father figure stung.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/kidandahalf on 2024-01-05 15:27:24+00:00.

I (16m) have a fake leg. I was going to tell jokes at a talent show, and the manager pulled me to his office and said he doesn't want me to go perform, because there are young kids in the audience. I offered to remove some jokes, and he said it was because of my appearance.

Me: So people with prosthetics are too vulgar for children?

Him: Yes.

Me: Wow.

Him: If you expected sugarcoating from me, you don't know me.

Me: I'll tell people.

Him: Go ahead.

So I did. I went to everyone and said exactly what he said and how he thought I was too vulgar for children. Naturally, people talked to him to clarify, and he doubled down. A lot of people ended up leaving, and the guy called the police on me. He explained what I did, and the cop looked ready to leave, but the guy wasn't letting up, so it seemed to me like the cop attempted to please him by giving me a talking-to about how escalation "can give you schadenfreude, but it's a slippery slope that it's best to be smart about, because you never know when either party might blow a fuse out of nowhere."

He gave me the okay to leave, and I left, but I feel like maybe I misread the cop's body language, and maybe I got off really close to actually getting in trouble. AITA? Or at least *an* AH

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Striking-Sir7168 on 2024-01-05 15:22:37+00:00.

Me and my friends got together for a late Xmas gathering and we did secret Santa with a budget of $250. Well it was a not so secret secret Santa, where we knew who each person got but it was so we would only buy one person gifts so no one would go ott.

I spent the $250 and bought my secret Santa a dior silk scarf (DIOR OBLIQUE MITZAH SCARF to be precise) which I know she had been eyeing up for a while.

I was excited to receive my gift since $250 is quite a lot so should be enough to get a good gift. Everyone else got some sort of branded item whether it be skincare, makeup, accessories etc. However when I opened my gift it was all handmade items.

It was two resin coasters(which weren’t made very well I could see the bubbles), some bracelets made out of yarn (those friendship bracelets you have when you’re younger- we’re all in our 40s!!), a crocheted turtle and a painting she did(it’s watercolour I think?).

I jokingly asked her how this costs $250 and she dead seriously responded that the kits cost money and crocheted animals are sold for quite a lot of sites like etsy, and a bespoke commissioned painting is priceless??

Now I understand that it’s the thought that counts, and if she couldn’t afford the $250 I would have understood. But it’s not that she couldn’t afford it, she just decided to give me these items because she wanted to ‘try making them’. It’s like oh you didn’t want this junk so gifted it to me?

AITA for not appreciating these gifts? Apparently I’ve really upset her by not being happy about what I received, but honestly if she had even added a $50 Starbucks card I would have been happier.

Everyone else said I was over reacting and that it’s a decent gift, but that’s because they all got good branded items? I would happily trade my gifts for the dior scarf back, but obviously she said no🙄

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/bananajamamaa on 2024-01-05 15:22:12+00:00.

I (f,23) hate my photo being take and generally avoid whenever someone’s taking a photo. My family get upset because they want photos of me but I hate seeing photos of myself. This was particularly bad a few years ago when I was overweight my mom would take photos of me on days out and I didn’t even realise. And there was one or two takes I let her take my photo but I asked her to not do anything with them. Now she’s making collages to put up in our house and she’s printed those photos off without asking me and putting them in a picture which is hanging up in our house. These are photos I just don’t want anywhere from a time I was particularly insecure and seeing just brings up negative feelings. I got annoyed with my mom for hanging them up without asking me first and her and my dad are saying im being dramatic and have no reason to be annoyed. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/PermitPast250 on 2024-01-05 15:17:46+00:00.

I have been renting a room in my landlord’s home for about a year now. We normally get along very well. She has a dog that I adore. The dog sleeps in my bed and I take her outside with me whenever I smoke. I also give her treats during the day, as she is only fed once a day at night. I also cannot remember the last time my landlord filled the dog’s water dispenser, because I always find it empty and fill it myself. The dog is not mine, but I help out a lot in caring for her. I have even bought dog food before when my landlord was short on cash.

My landlord has a small shed(?) on her property that she rents out on Airbnb. The dog has a door that gives her free access to the backyard, but that door remains locked whenever there are guests in the Airbnb, which is most of the time. That means that the dog gets very little outside time, unless I take her out with me. I typically take her outside every morning around 6:30 a.m. My landlord does not mind this, but asks that I pick up the dog’s poop if I take her out because she does not want her guests to see the poop. I am not required to take the dog outside, but, if I do, I need to pick up after her. This is perfectly reasonable and I or course do so. Due to the arrangement, I pick up poop every day and my landlord doesn’t have to take the dog out most of the time.

Now, onto the issue: About a month ago, I received an angry text from my landlord while I was at work saying that I did not pick up after the dog. I texted her back and said that I was sorry, I must have missed it. I also explained that I was at work and could we please talk about this when I get home. She sent back a lengthy text message refusing to do so and basically saying I was obviously available because I was answering her. She also said she did not have to wait until after work. Later that evening, we had a heated discussion and I was very upset. Long story short, we have since patched things up with what I thought was the understanding that she would address personal matters outside of work hours.

Well, this morning I checked for dog poop and saw nothing. I checked the whole backyard. A little after 9a.m., I was sitting in my office working and I received a text from my landlord. It was a picture of a pile of dog shit. To say that I feel disrespected and disappointed is an understatement. I know that the solution is to simply never take the dog outside with me, but I feel sad doing this because they do not ever take the dog on walks and she will end up going outside to poop 2x a day for 2 minutes with no exercise. I also feel like I pick up the dog’s shit multiple times a day and getting a text the one time in a month that I missed it is super frustrating, especially considering that my landlord and her daughter also sometimes forget/miss it and I just pick it up without comment.

So, Reddit, AITA for accidentally not picking up my landlord’s dog’s poop this morning?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Tea_cakes_69 on 2024-01-05 15:16:10+00:00.

I (29F) and my brother (25) went home to our parents house for new year.

Growing up I always felt that my brother is my parent's child. Although they were "vocal" that they love us both and there were no favorites. I beg to disagree but I understand and don't really give an f growing up.

On holidays, my brother would get a new gaming console while I only get a book, or we would get the same phones but he would get an extra money so he could date his gf. When I graduated college, they gave me a car, and I am so happy until a few days later when they also gave my brother a car because they say "to be fair" to both of us. When he graduated college he was given an international trip as a gift. Then, I didn't bat an eye but I am keeping score.

It does not stop there, when he moved out, they gave him a place as a gift because he "would have a family and they will live there", and I had to rent an apartment on my own because they say "when I marry, my husband will provide me a house."

Fast forward to this new year, my brother arrived earlier than me with his girlfriend that my parents has just met. I believe they have already bonded while I wasn't there because when I arrived, they seem to be close already.

During the dinner, when my parents were giving gifts to both of us, as this is our new year's tradition. My brother was given his gift first, he opened it and it was a brand new latest model phone. When he opened the box, his girlfriend said "wow that's the color I liked". I think this was heard by my parents, because instead of giving me my gift, they gave her the gift and said to me "she'll appreciate it more than you and you are more than capable to buy yourself one". I thought the gf will not accept it because it was mine and had my name on it but she instead opened it and looked really happy. This made me really upset that I walked out in the middle of dinner and I went home.

My family was bombarding me with messages saying how rude I am and that I do not respect them and that I should apologize to them all. Aita?

Edit: I forgot to add that I also received several messages from our extended family about apologizing to my parents and brother for being rude. They emphasis our culture of "close family ties", and that these are just "gifts". Apparently, it should be okay because my parents brought me up well, they paid for my school, and I never had any "difficulties" growing up. And that my parents are not "perfect".

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/UnlikelyAd9934 on 2024-01-05 15:13:23+00:00.

My (23f) and my best friend (24f) have known each other since we were 8. We have opposite personalities but love each other, she’s outgoing, loves to party and has had such a difficult life but that doesn’t stop her from having a beautiful heart, she’s the kind of friend that’s always there for you. I on the other side love to be home and have a low battery when it comes to being social, this usually isn’t a problem in our friendship because we understand each other but in this situation it might be.

My family and my boyfriends family came to visit us for the holidays it was a great time but also challenging for me, we were on activities every day and after that my boyfriends parents always wanted to have some drinks in our house.

My friend who currently lives in the states also came to visit her family and even if we were really excited to see each other it was complicated, first we arranged an activity with all the families and they canceled last minute, I understand that, it is complicated to organize so many people. Then she wanted to meet but always after 10 pm and for things like going to a bar or an expensive restaurant, usually by 10 pm I was already sleeping exhausted after being with the family.

Her family left on New years so I invited her to my house to spend the holiday with us, I felt she was trying to have my whole attention and I kind of understand because I hadn’t seen her in so long but I felt divided because I was the host and had to be with everyone, every time I tried to hug my boyfriend she would sit on my lap or be between us. Then she stated that she would sleep in my house that night, at 3am I could barely keep my eyes open, my family had left and she invited her step brother to our house, at 4am she was trying to sit in my lap again and kicked my drink, it fell all over the floor, after she helped clean it I told her it was time to sleep, she left with her step brother.

My family left two days ago, yesterday she called and asked if I was finally going to pay attention to her, I felt so frustrated she couldn’t understand how difficult it was for me this days, while on the trip my grandma who is at the beginning of dementia fell and broke her collarbone, this made us realized how the illness is progressing and it was emotionally and physically hard, so if I wasn’t as attentive it was because we were taking care of my grandma. I told my friend I was busy and that’s why I couldn’t see her but I would call her back in a minute because I was driving. After thinking it I called her and said that I could pick her up at her house and go to mine to have some drinks or something, she said that she wanted me to go to a hockey game with her, I told her I wasn’t feeling like it and she said that she had to go. I know she will want to see me today because she leaves tomorrow but if I’m being completely honest with myself I don’t want to, I want to stay home, watch some movies and enjoy the last weekend I have before my vacations are over. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ForkMyTightAss on 2024-01-05 15:13:21+00:00.

So, we play dnd every other saturday, and my friend is lactose intolerant. He, in a cruel twist of fate, LOVES CHEESE but he practically shits his pants if he eats it. He will sit at our dnd table and eat an ENTIRE BLOCK OF CHEESE. and the farts are so fucking horrific i cannot even put it into words. For some ungodly reason this doesn't bother either of my other friends who play, and whenever i ask him to either reframe from eating cheese or taking meds to help with it he refuses. No this isnt a shit post, this is a real life issue. Am i the asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/sativagirl003 on 2024-01-05 15:11:31+00:00.

My girlfriend (20, like me) is staying at the hospital at the moment and she‘ll stay there for about a week.

Her parents are staying at our place while she’s in the hospital (they live abroad) and her mom (59) while stay with us for a little longer.

I get along well with her parents. They went shopping for groceries, did our laundry and emptied the green bin since they’re here. I thanked them and told them that it wasn’t necessary but they were insistent on helping me since they can stay at our place and I understand that it gives them a good feeling to help. Now to the part that could make me an AH: My girlfriend’s mom had put laundry in our bedroom yesterday and she saw that the room was pretty messy. I didn’t expect someone to go into the room while I’m gone so I didn’t clean it up.

Today, she asked me if she could help me make the room {quotes:} „perfectly clean and organized“ so „my girlfriend feels good when she’s back home“. It kinda felt like she was putting me on the spot (her husband was with us when she asked) and that she made it sound like I would be a bad partner if I declined her offer. So I said yes but I don’t really want her help on that.

I had planned to clean our room up well before my girlfriend‘s back but I would like to do it my way and not the way my girlfriend’s mom likes it ( I’m pretty sure she already has some ideas in her head on how our bedroom should look like). Also, it kinda felt like she was judging me even though I’m sure that it wasn’t her intention.

So WIBTA if I declined my girlfriend’s mom’s offer to help making our bedroom „perfectly organized“?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/IheartDoggies1202 on 2024-01-05 15:10:30+00:00.

I (22f) am married to (24m). We have two kids together 2 and 7 months. To make a long story short, back in May my husband brother brought over his dirt bike and my husband dad was saying to put my 2 year old in the bike and go drive around on the property. Well my idiot dumb husband agreed and let him go on a dirt bike ride with his brother. For some context we live on a plot with tons of rocks and hills, so one single rock could’ve thrown my son and BIL right off the bike. He was wearing no helmet which I was LIVID about. Also at the time he was literally 16 months old. So no wear near kid enough to be on one. But what made me the most livid is the fact that every single person hid it from me. I’m the fucking mother. I get all say of what my son can and can not do. I don’t give a shit what my husband said cuz he’s and idiot and never thinks about safety for one second. Yes it’s been months but I’m still l very pissed of about it because they went around me to get what they wanted. They all knew I would say no but they chose to deliberately hide it from me. Keep in mind I was 9 months pregnant and taking a nap. Even months later, they still bring it up and bring up how I “over reacted” and I’m so fucking done rn. For Christmas he got his own drivable toy car, but when he got it my FIL all “will the mommy over react again” I should’ve said something right there but I didnt due to all our family from both sides being there, and I didn’t want to make a scene. Theres also been other mini things of complete disregard for me the mother, but they’re not as big as this one. I tried to tell my husband I was tired of being treated as if my opinions and my reactions to my own children are more important then his parents and how they chose to raise him but he exploded on me and was mad at me for insisting boundaries. So AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/samcam222 on 2024-01-05 15:07:00+00:00.

Our daughter (13 months old) caught Hand Foot and Mouth from her daycare and has been feeling sick as of yesterday. My partner has refused to help with any of the care because he “does not want to get sick”. I’ve told him he needs to help; he is a parent and I need a partner but he says it is not his responsibility to help just because Im okay risking being sick by comforting her. I was up all night with her last night. I worked all day yesterday & had off today, while he has been off for three days and still didn’t have the baby near him. He, who slept through the entire night is currently napping (has been for 3 hours now) and is livid when I wake him up for help while I’ve been playing phone tag with pediatricians office. And for reference; he is not immunocomp and rarely gets sick even when exposed. I the asshole for expecting to get any help today and being upset about this?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/No_Tart_9119 on 2024-01-05 15:02:57+00:00.

So basically I was really close with this guy, and I've known him since primary school, and last year me and him got close and we would talk all day when we got the chance, we liked each other and we obviously both new it, and he was the one guy, outside my family, that i could trust, but last year around November he said he just wanted to be friends bc of my trust issues that I developed cause of my ex and family reasons and that shattered me, I stayed up for weeks crying, and I was moving on, but Christmas night I decided to call one of my closest girl friends, and we were being stupid, and I tried guessing who she likes, big surprise, she likes him, and I got really annoyed abt it, so she decided to leave me alone until the next morning, and she asked me why I was annoyed, so I told her, another surprise she screenshotted the message, and sent it to him, they both basically called me the bad guy and kinda made me feel bad and eventually getting me to apologise, that afternoon of that talk with him and her, i hyperventilating, i took a shower and nearly passed out. And then last week, me and her got into an argument abt her liking him, but the thing is, if she were my best friend, she would've backed off of him, but she hasn't, they both ignore me to talk to each other, and whenever I get annoyed, she makes me seem like the bad guy

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/purplebutterfly1998 on 2024-01-05 15:00:20+00:00.

I’m so exhausted from this situation already. My boyfriend and I have a one bedroom apartment. His mom texted him this morning saying it was an emergency and she needed a place to stay. She is homeless and has a 7 year old son, and has been staying at her sisters place in Public housing with her son, we will call him Bobby. Bobby is a wonderful kid, he’s sweet, but he is extremely energetic. Bobby is currently at his other aunts. We recently shelled out almost $500 dollars for him for Christmas, which I didn’t mind doing because I wanted him to have a good Christmas, and my boyfriend also spent $150 on his mom for Christmas for essentials. We financially dug ourselves into a hole because of this, we are poor and both only make a few dollars above minimum wage in a state with a very high cost of living.

At 6am, she got off work and said she needed a place to stay for “a few days” because she had taken a Xanax for chronic pain and needed to “clear out her system” (just so happened to fall on the rare 3 days off I get in a row) because she thought she saw CPS at the apartment complex she was staying at yesterday. I just got over being sick, lost a promotion at work because of it, and am just extremely burnt out and tired, and was really looking forward to these days off, and now I have to be holed up in my bedroom the entire time unless I want to socialize. This isn’t the first time she’s randomly called or showed up needing a place to stay.

I literally don’t know what to do. I can’t handle this. I feel like I’m always being pushed to the side and my plans are being derailed anytime she has some issue and needs our help. I don’t mind helping but I’ve helped enough. My boyfriend sees my side of the story but refuses to do anything other than say “I’m sorry” to me. I’m just exhausted. I just wanted to relax and now it’s ripped away from me once again. I’m scared of getting in trouble from some level of guilt by association. This entire situation is her fault, she’s the one who took the drugs. I don’t understand why I’m the one who has to foot the bill.

I wish I could just tell her to GTFO and go stay somewhere else. This isn’t my problem, her son is safe, she can find someone else to stay with for awhile.

Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Tough_Surprise_2961 on 2024-01-05 14:59:54+00:00.

Throwaway account because my friend knows my other one. I (42f) have a friend I met through work named Kristen. She was recently fired from the office we both worked in because of personality clashes and generally not fulfilling her job duties. I personally liked her and thought she was nice, although I silently agreed that she seemed a bit lazy on the job. When she was fired a few months ago, she was extremely depressed for a few weeks. I went for walks with her after work to let her talk and vent about how she was feeling, and eventually she started talking about wanting to open her own business (similar to the one we worked at). I encouraged her to do it and offered to help her (I do marketing and photography for a living so I offered these services for her for free for a bit if needed).

She started studying and putting effort into building her business, and would frequently cancel our walks at the last minute. It was slightly annoying but I didn't mind that much because I knew she was focused on something bigger. I've been in her shoes and understand how much it takes to build a business.

A few weeks ago, she scheduled a photoshoot with me that was related to the business, including headshots of her, lifestyle photos, and some product photography for her business so she could start building a website and social media. I moved my appointments so that I could dedicate an entire sunday since this was a lot of work. I tried calling and texting her saturday to confirm what time she wanted to start, and she didn't answer. On sunday morning around 9 I texted her again asking if we were still on. Three hours later she texted that she was sorry but needed to cancel because she wanted to hang out with her mom and aunt for the day. I was really upset about it because I'd moved paying appointments to accommodate her. In total, her last minute cancelling cost me over $2K, which especially hurt my finances since weekends are when I do most of my work due to my office job.

She and I had an appointment set up this weekend for me to be a model for her in a class related to her business, and honestly I had no desire to go, sacrifice another sunday, and help her out. I was extremely annoyed and she never apologized for the cancelling on me at the last minute. I have family visiting town and while I could technically see them another day, they asked if I could spend the day with them that I'm supposed to meet with her. I would much rather spend time with them since I hardly ever see them (they live 1,200 miles away) and there's a small part of me that also wants to give her a taste of her own medicine with the constant cancellations. She's furious and told me I'm extremely unprofessional, and I'm starting to see why people clashed with her at my office. Should I be stubborn and cancel even though it's not necessary, or give in and help her out and be the bigger person? If cancelling makes me a jerk then I'm ready to accept my AH card.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Patient-Remote4689 on 2024-01-05 14:59:20+00:00.

Three years ago I was rendered disabled by a medication (antibiotic) I took. I was in and out of a wheelchair with all kinds of muscle and nerve damage for six months. During that time I was unable to do much of anything and recovery was extremely traumatic, stressful and expensive. To this day several years later I still suffer from trauma and permanent damage but for the most part I’m able to live a fairly normal life.

My wife of 4 years is from China and we live in the US. Recently her younger cousin (10 years younger than us) stayed with us for 16 days over her winter break because she’s studying in the US.

A few days into her cousin’s stay I ask my wife if she can tell her cousin about my condition and ask if she’s taking any medications. During a dinner they had together that night she said she asked if she was taking any medications and her cousin said no. I asked if she explained the context of the situation and my wife said no. I accepted this for a few days until it started bugging me again. Frankly, considering the severity of my risk, I felt that without the necessary context there might be a misunderstanding.

So, a few days later I ask my wife to ask her again and this time to please provide the context. While her and her cousin were out she mentions it again in passing but again, without any context. She asked her cousin, “Are you taking any medications” and her cousin replied with “No” again. My wife reports back to me and I reminded her she should have provided the context.

A day later I’m in the shared bathroom and I see her cousin's toiletry bag. Admittedly I peak inside it. Low and behold are eye drops, eye creams and some other tubes I see all with Chinese writing. I take a quick snapshot and run a translation and one of them is not the specific antibiotic I’m avoiding but easily could have been.

I tell my wife about what I saw and ask her to have another conversation with her cousin but this time explain the whole context and ask if she could kindly check the rest of her bags to ensure she’s not using the one I need to avoid. My wife had a follow up conversation, this time with the context, and her cousin agreed to check and report back to my wife. 3 days pass and her cousin never updates us. I told my wife I felt it was disrespectful that we're hosting her as a guest and after having explained the severity of the situation her cousin still didn’t even get back to her.

My wife explodes about how I’ve been torturing her with these requests and her cousin already replied that she’s not taking anything despite me pointing out that I literally saw tubes of similar medications in her bag. I’m was just really afraid that there was a cultural misunderstanding in that her cousin wasn’t considering them medications when in fact they really are and then apparently didn’t even care to check/update us about having them.

AITA for trying to protect my wellbeing in my own home?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Lulbabyty on 2024-01-05 14:59:03+00:00.

I 24F have been talking to D 26M for 2 months we’re not serious and haven’t talked about getting serious it’s just been about sex and I’m fine with that. Back in November I took all the leftovers from thanksgiving to my apartment and was otp with D almost the whole day until I got home he wasn’t spending it with his family so I told him he can come over and make a plate. He came and ate he spent the night. So from then he’s come over and stay the night off we got intimate every time but it stated getting boring since he only wanted to do it from the side and I wanted to do more positions. I went to my grandmas to take care of her and one night her heart wouldn’t stop racing so my brother call the ambulance and at the moment I was having a panic attack because it reminded me what I went through with my dad. I got back home a few days later since the hospital wasn’t releasing her until the next week. We talked otp and I told him about her and the panic attack he asked why didn’t I call and I told him I didn’t think we were the close but I will since he cares. One day I cooked some oxtails and posted it on my insta and he reached out asking for a plate I told him it was fine and made him a plate and put it to the side. He ate then asked for head and I told him no so we went back and forth about it he rolled over and went to sleep. The topic came up again he said we can if I shd and I did it before and why can I do it again. I told him I’m not doing that if he’s not going to emp so everytime we get intimate we’d always argue about it we do it from the side and call it ( he didn’t last long but I wasn’t mad about it I got used to it). One day I texted him asking can he come because I was going through it about my dad and just needed some company he asked if I cook I told him no and I was thrown off about it because I’m depressed and the first thing you say is did I cook. So we didn’t talk for a minute until one day it bothered me and I asked him why say you’ll be there for me and only care about if I cooked he went on saying I don’t miss his voice I miss the next ninjas voice I eat everyday and I’m not make sure he eats when he come over and it bothers him I’m not giving him any head and go back and forth about it I let him know I only asked for his company not to hear his voice I don’t eat everyday he’s never offed me food and idc because me eating is not his priority and vise Vera and I’m not going to to all that for someone who’s being one sided about the situation and is not my man. Aita??

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/BourbonBombshell on 2024-01-05 14:57:39+00:00.

AITA? Two nights ago, I had dinner with my BFF who also has a casual relationship with my daughter. When asked what I "got" for Christmas, I told her that it was very little but that that was the standard anymore. I even joked about re-tagging all the gifts I'd gotten for everyone to me and then opening presents in front of them.

And because as they made jokes about me opening presents on Christmas, I said that they could wrap something that I'd bought for myself and put it under the tree if they were concerned. I say I was a little sad because they didn't wrap the present. We talked about it for a minute and then jumped to another topic.

Context: Gifts are not necessarily my thing. They cause anxiety on both the gift-giver and the receiver. I prefer thoughtful acts of appreciation. I didn't tell her that I was proud of my daughter for Venmo'ing me for the dinner I bought while we were out, for repaying the groceries that she dropped in my bag, and for spending a day running with me. Or that my son had said "I'm broke, but I can give you my time, let me know what you want me to do."

Cut to last night, my son brought in the gift I'd bought myself, wrapped and presented it to me (10 days post Christmas)... as a gift. Apparently my daughter wrapped it told him to give it to me.

It seemed a little coincidental and so I checked the text logs for my daughter and I'll be damned if my friend didn't text my daughter right about the same time we had been having that conversation.

I messaged them both. To my daughter "Hey did my friend message you the other night?" To my friend "Hey, did you message my daughter about what we discussed?" My friend replied quickly about my daughter spoiling a surprise, and my daughter lied to me saying "No, I don't think so."

I quickly uncovered that my friend had contacted my daughter about some sort of surprise gift that they were teaming up on. (inadvertently). I don't know if they actually discussed what I said, but the context was enough for my daughter to feel some sort of shame about this. The conversation apparently got my daughter thinking about the unwrapped gift and did that as well.

I messaged my daughter this morning with an apology since her last message was "it's a surprise and you're going to ruin it," and to my friend I let her know that I appreciated the thought but a gift was unnecessary.

Right now, I'm really upset with my friend. I'm sure that the intention was good as she's kind hearted, but it feels very intrusive for her to reach out to my daughter about this particular thing. My kids love me, and I know this, and I may complain to her about them from time to time, but I'm a worn-out parent and needed a safe place to just vent.

She's not a parent, so I'm sure she didn't understand how this would be perceived on my end, but I can't even currently appreciate the thought of what she was doing because it came as a result of a private conversation. AITA for being so frustrated right now?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/grayscaleteeth on 2024-01-05 14:56:07+00:00.

Hi there, hope you’re doing well. I work for a reptile sanctuary, a recent hire. I will keep this relatively short. We had a woman try to adopt a ball python from us. We interview all potential adopters in person before allowing them to adopt any animals. We conducted a thorough interview in person, and everything checked out - she seemed very nice and indicated she had experience with animals in the past. For all intents and purposes she seemed to be an ideal caretaker for a snake.

Due to a scheduling conflict, she requested that we bring the python (named Goldblum) out to her, along with his enclosure that came with him for free. We agreed so I made the thirty minute drive.

When I got to her house, I was shocked to see it was in serious disrepair. The conditions were unbelievable, and I grew up in a hoarding house, so I am somewhat desensitized to these conditions. It did not seem to be an appropriate environment for a child, let alone a reptile with special requirements. It was packed floor to ceiling with garbage, rodent feces (from what I could tell) and there was a cat there that appeared to be malnourished (should I call somebody about this?). There was also trash spilling into the lawn and it was even visible from outside of the windows.

The issue is, the area that she wanted to place Goldblum was, while not completely clear of trash, less dirty than the rest of the house and there was somewhat of a dedicated space for his enclosure.

I let her know that we would need to hold Goldblum until she was able to provide a cleaner space for him. She started crying and told me that it wasn’t that easy. She eventually let us know she could not do it and we refunded her in full.

I confirmed with my supervisor that I did the right thing, but I am having trouble getting her crying out of my mind. I know hoarding is a serious medical condition. she had technically cleaned out a space to house the reptile to the best of her ability. I feel really sad for her, but I also care for Goldblum and want him to be safe.

I am conflicted and really sad. Did I do the right thing here?

Thanks for reading.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Key_Barracuda_5919 on 2024-01-05 11:57:26+00:00.

I am 25 f. My dog, dove had puppies. She's a golden lab. I promised my nephew Dion 10 he could have one of the puppies when they are ready. He was so excited. So last week, when Dion and my sister came over he asked if he could see the puppies, which I said yes. He went into to see them. Me and my sister were catching up. Then we heard Dove barking which alerted me to go check on Dion and Dove. Dion was standing the corner with his hands behind his back. We could hear the puppy muffled cries and I pulled him forward and found he had put the puppy in a plastic bag. I told him off and asked him what was he doing? He started crying and said he wanted the puppy now and that he was taking this one home! I told him no, you already know that there to young and that they need there mother milk. Dion had a tantrum. My sister had to take him home. Dove was understandably agitated and was now wary on who comes near her pups.

I had decided over a couple of day's that I didn't trust Dion to have one of them. So when my sister came to vist, I told her that I didn't want to give Dion one of the pups after what he did. She got upset with me and said it was a mistake and he learned his lesson. I said he didn't even apologize! She said what for? The puppy was fine. I got angry then and said what if Dove hadn't alerted us? The puppy could have died! She said I was going to brake his heart if I go back on my promise. I said, I'm sorry but that's my final decision. She left angry. I've since been getting people on my back about braking my promise and that I'm a liar. I even got a video message of Dion crying and calling me name's. I'm starting to feel bad. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Shoddy-Solution-7990 on 2024-01-05 11:29:31+00:00.

I had my daughter when I was just 16, after she was born I couldn't see her for the first two years. My then girlfriends parents were really religious and they didn't want me to have anything to do with their granddaughter. When I was finally allowed to see her my ex had already found someone else. After I finished high school I went to study abroad for a few years and I only saw my daughter 2-3 times a year.

I moved back to my home country three years ago and since then my ex has agreed to let our daughter spend one weekend a month with me. For the past few years I've been giving my daughter money for Christmas but this year she told me she didn't want money. So I asked my ex for suggestions regarding the present and she told me to just get her clothes that she wants. So two weeks before Christmas I messaged my daughter and asked her what clothes she wanted and she sent me a link to a wishlist and told me to just pick something from it. There weren't that many clothes there so I just ordered everything that was on her list.

This year my ex invited me to spend Christmas at their house since her husband was going away to visit his family so I did. When it came time to open presents my daughter was very happy that I ordered everything she wanted. She tried on a few things but the rest she said she was going to try on later. I went home that evening but at 10pm I got an angry call from my ex saying that I was stupid and irresponsible for buying our daughter lingerie. I explained to her that it was on the list our daughter sent me. We argued for a bit about this and then she hung up on me. Afterwards I messaged my daughter and I told her that I didn't know I wasn't allowed to order this for her but she told me that mom was just overreacting and that she loved the clothes I ordered for her.

It's been a while since Christmas but my ex is still angry at me but since then my daughter has been messaging me almost every day and she said she can't wait to spend the upcoming weekend at mine. So AITA here? I honestly don't know what to think.

In case that's important, our daughter is 15, me and my ex are both 31 and we're from Europe.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/TellmeTom2 on 2024-01-05 10:56:58+00:00.

We have a 9 month old puppy, quite a big dog full of life and very friendly.

Our neighbours have 2 kids around 7 and 10 years old. They must kick a football over our fence twice a week. They come round knock on the door and we'll go get it for them, slightly annoying but no real issue. The dog has never eaten one of the balls.

The other day next doors kids come knocking saying they kicked a ball over. Both me and my wife were busy at the time so we told them to come back a bit later to come and get it (dog was in the garden when the "ball" went over). About 10 minutes pass and they knock again. We're still in the middle of something so ask them to come back in about an hour.

Cue the next knock. I have some time so go round the back and start looking round the garden for their ball. Kid's the other side of the fence trying to tell me where it went over. I'm adamant there's no ball and tell him. That's when he tells me it might not have been a ball, it was in fact a remote control plane that he accidentally flew over the fence, which I then realise is in pieces in the bush.

Now my dog ate the plane and it's in hundreds of pieces round the garden.

I felt pretty bad but told him that he should have told me it was an expensive toy that went over and I would have been more inclined to stop what I'm doing to go get it.

AITA for not offering to replace the toy my dog ate? I looked it up and it was fairly expensive.