Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Servicedesk2020 on 2024-01-05 10:45:28+00:00.

I (F30) and my husband (M30) has been in a relationship for 10 years now, and married for 3 years.

Before we got married we agreed that all our shared expenses will be split in half since we almost earn the same, and in case one of us got a higher salary increase, expenses will be proportional to our current salary. For example, if he had a 5% increase, then his share of the expenses will be higher than mine. Moreover, we also put equal amount on our savings account monthly - each of us deposit 10% of our salary in a savings account under my name as we did not opened a joint account.

1 year in our marriage I caught him cheating. I saw a text on his phone from a familiar name that contextually is romantic and it hits me that he is cheating on me. I confronted him about this, at first he was denying it but eventually admitted it and apologizes. I love my husband very much so I decided to forgive him and go on with our lives, but as a consequence of his action I told him that I wont be sharing on our expenses and that it should be his burden from now on so he would be more responsible and I thought that the less money he has for himself, less likely that he'll cheat again. Besides, divorce is not an option here in our country.

We go on with our lives like normal in this new arrangement, and just 2 months ago I found him cheating again. I confronted him again. He said he wont do it again. But 2 weeks ago the girl came to our house and told us she is pregnant with my husband's child. He was shocked. I was dumbfounded. And I finally left.

I have been getting phone calls and messages from my husband but I was not responding at all. When I finally calm down, I answered his call and he was pleading for me to come back but I no longer want to, I made it clear. After a few days, he is messaging me to get his half of our savings from my account so he could afford the girl's pregnancy expenses. I still said no. He said I was cold hearted B*tch and that the baby has nothing to do with all that happened and that I should spare the baby.

Apparently, he has no personal savings since a lot of the bills were shouldered by himself and that he would like start from scratch with a baby and a girl who has no job.

So AITA for considering our savings restitution for what he did to me?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Several-Teach-7205 on 2024-01-05 09:54:26+00:00.

I’ll give a bit of backstory. I’m 19m and I live with just me and my dad. Because I’m not currently working, there’s a bit of a rule in the house that I must be awake by 9am (which I agree with). In this past week, my dad has suffered with an ankle injury that’s meant he basically can’t walk properly and it’s only gotten better in the last day or two. In that time, I have gone out to get the shopping for him, picked up his prescription for him and overall just been available for him 24/7 in case he needs it, this includes making teas, breakfast and doing things like tidying up (all things that I think I should just do anyway because he’s not capable of walking so I’m not claiming to be some hero for that).

Cut to yesterday. My nan passed away and I stayed up late on the Xbox talking to my brother, and some friends so I could take my mind off of the death for a bit. I was up till probably 2am which is normal for me and didn’t end up getting to sleep until about 2:30am (again, normal sleep schedule for me and I can still get up at 9).

I woke up this morning to cold water being poured over my head. I got up in a shock and was breathing heavily and panting. I was so confused what was going on and just shouted “what are you doing” to which my dad replied “get the fuck up”. He left the room and went downstairs. My phone was dead so I just went back to putting my head on the pillow and trying to sleep again (I didn’t care about getting up anymore.) I must’ve had my eyes closed for about 10 minutes when i then turned my head and checked the time on my laptop - 9:05. I was expecting to see 13:45 or something stupid like that but it was literally the time I should be waking up. I got up and went downstairs and asked him why he did it to which he replied. “I could hear your alarm clock and it was annoying me” For context I have an alarm clock on my phone that rings out like a phone because I do struggle to get up. I went back upstairs then came down again and said I was disgusted that he did that to me and felt completely violated. He said he “Couldn’t give a fuck” so I left it at that.

Am I wrong and did I deserve to have that happen to me?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ImShitPostingRelax on 2024-01-05 07:00:24+00:00.

Pretty self explanatory. My and my wife were hanging out and she asked if I had “kissed her cute little lips yet or not” and I said “no”. She then asked why I didn’t and I said that I’m not in the habit of kissing kids on the lips so it’s not my jam. She then pressed further and I said I’m not Tom Brady and I don’t kiss my kids on the lips why does it matter so much and now she’s mad at me. Idk

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Dapper_Charity_2760 on 2024-01-05 06:58:37+00:00.

For context, we come from a cultural background where women are responsible for running the house and men typically work. It is also seen as very important that women take pride in their home. The difference between my upbringing is that he was brought up overseas, and that his mom and sisters are all stay at home wives/or don’t work, and I have been studying and working my whole life. I wasn’t at home to learn everything like they did. Despite this, I put in a lot of effort to try to learn recipes, how to keep the house clean and tidy despite working full time. I put a lot of pride in my home.

A few times, he’s made comments which I guess are not meant in a malicious way but I find hurtful. Like he will say my cooking is nice but will compare it to his sister’s cooking (his sister is 10 years older than me and doesn’t work, she stayed home and learnt everything). Or he will say “you need to get the recipe from my sister, she makes it so well. It’s absolutely amazing”. I will then spend time trying to perfect the recipe she gave me and he will say “it is nice” but then give me criticisms. How can I be expected to make something exactly the same way she does?

We had an argument today because he made a joke about my cooking after I spent so much time shopping for specific ingredients for a dish he requested. The joke was in reference to a meme he found where someone couldn’t cook the exact same meal I attempted and it ruined a wedding or something. He said: “hey it’s you”. I told him this upset me as I put so much effort into preparing the meal to make him happy. We argued and he pretty much said “of course you’ll never be able to cook like my sisters but you can learn from them”. This feels condescending to me. He also said he will fault my food so I will learn. I told him I will no longer be cooking for him, especially none of the specific recipes he requests from his sisters. He said I’m taking it too far and am overreacting. I ended up crying (not willingly) and he just told me “please don’t tell me you’re going to cry over this, you’re so sensitive”.

I’m just trying my best.

Tldr: fiancés family are all domestic queens who stay at home. I’m busy with work. Seems to be a recurring theme.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/aitasharingroom on 2024-01-05 05:53:43+00:00.

So, my dad has been married to my stepmom for 10 years. My stepsister and I are both 16f. Even tho my dad has been married to her mom for 10 years, my stepsister and I don't really know each other.

Her dad works for some big international company and she lived in Asia from when she was 3 until she was 9, then in Europe until she was 13, then lived in South America until September. Now they're in the US until the summer then they're going back to Asia.

They're staying a few minutes away from my dad and stepmom and she's been spending weekends with us. Now that she's actually here on weekends, my dad and stepmom put another bed in my room and said I have to share until they move again.

She goes to this 75k a year international school by my school and drives a brand new Tesla. I go to public school and take the bus. I told her she should drive me to school because her school is next to mine and the bus sucks. She said no. I told her to be a good sister and help me out and she said she's not my sister.

Since she won't help me out and says she's not my sister, I won't be sharing a room with her. I left her stuff outside the room and took the spare keys so they couldn't let her in and I told her I'll share my room when she shares her car. Now her dad won't let her come here and says her mom has to go to their house to see her. They also might go back to Asia early because apparently the whole point of them staying here for a year was for her to get to know her mom (she visits for a couple weeks a year but it's different) and that's not going to happen if she doesn't have a room at the house.

They're saying they get why I did it but I need to deal with her until she goes back to Asia. AITA for telling her I'll share my room when she shares her car?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/EquipmentDependent17 on 2024-01-05 05:04:06+00:00.

I'm 17f. My parent's and I went to a dinner at my aunt house. I didn't want to go because my 35 year old cousin Jared likes to makes fun of my appearance. I'm tall and skinny. But dad convinced me to go. Jared was already at the dinner table and introducing his gf Melody to everyone. He surprisingly didn't make fun off me like he usually does when we first see each other. Now I was told by Jared sister, that Jared shaved all his hair off 2 years ago, because he was getting bald patches and was embarrassed about them.

So anyway during dinner, Jared finally turned his attention to me at the time everyone was quite and asked me loudly hey op do you think you will ever put on some weight, you're starting to look anorexic. I just snapped and said I don't know? Do you think you will ever grow hair where your bald patch spots are? He got angry and started cussing at me and I asked him if he had a spare brush for me, so I can brush my hair?! He was told to leave. So him and Melody left. Melody apparently broke up with him that night. Now I'm getting the blame. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/mzll923 on 2024-01-05 05:17:37+00:00.

I (16F) went to the mall yesterday to get a variety of things, including makeup. In the makeup store, I saw these two boys Liam, who was 10 and Huxton who was 11.

Liam was looking for skincare products like Drunk Elephant and retinol/anti-aging creams. I first saw him while in the skincare section and he was messing up the samplers/testers and was making a mess, I told him that he should clean up after he was done and he told me to “fuck off”, I also saw him being rude to an employee who was trying to get him to find a product besides an anti-aging cream.

After that, I went along and was looking through other parts of the store, when I saw a group of like six of seven middle school boys near the cologne, I asked them what they were doing and they said they were looking for cologne because girls like that. It was sweet to see and one of the boys said something about how it’s 2024 and how a lot of the boys at their school care more about hygiene and skincare now and how only the “weird nerdy boys” call it “gay” these days. One of the boys who was with them was Huxton, he was wearing some vintage basketball jersey.

As I was in line, I ran into Huxton and Liam, they told me their mom was coming with the money for their purchases. Liam was talking to a girl who looked about my age, he asked if she had anti-wrinkle cream and when she said no, he told her “I’d suggest you get it”, I told this kid that wasn’t very nice, Huxton said “Liam, stop”, and tried to apologize for his brother’s behavior, their mom came and paid for the items.

Later, I saw them in the food court and I wanted to compliment Huxton for his manners, I went up to him and told him I thought he has good manners and he thanked me. Their mom asked what I was doing and I told her and she said that her kids had great manners.

I felt like I had to clarify it was only Huxton who had good manners, she then started to get mad and said “Huxton is 11, Liam is 10, stop expecting them to act the same”, she also accused me of homophobia because Huxton is masculine and Liam is “just a normal gay boy”. She also said “wait until you have kids” and that I was too young to criticize Liam’s behavior.

I’ve been asking my friends if I was in the wrong and my friends don’t agree on an answer. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/AdritheRebel on 2024-01-05 02:36:50+00:00.

K has always been treating me like I'm her kid up at work for a long time, I'm 23 and I told K "I'm not your kid don't talk down to me or treat me as such back off." K starts crying and my coworkers are asking me questions why I said what I said, my response was I was fed up with her, AITAH?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/BestReward9 on 2024-01-05 06:56:01+00:00.

Me and my best friend are both Swifties and when Taylor Swift released her international tour dates, my friend got presale codes for Paris and snagged four tickets. She texted me immediately asking if I would go with her and of course I said yes. She told me she was also bringing her two younger sisters. I really like her sisters and I was ecstatic that I would get to see one of my favourite artists in Paris with my best friend. We talked and decided we would make a trip out of it and go somewhere else after.

Fast forward seven months. I have been saving, planning, and anticipating this experience for months. I took the time off work and worked over the holidays to bank extra time off. I've been talking with my friend, and we decided that we should look at buying our flight tickets. A few days later, my friend tells me that when she was telling her mom we were going to book tickets, her mom told her that she booked the whole family tickets to Paris for five days surrounding the concert as a surprise. My friend was very upset because although her mom's gesture was generous, my friend hadn't invited her mom on the trip and hadn't wanted to go those days. I told her I understood how she felt, but I was sure if she talked to her mom, they could make a compromise and maybe change her flight dates.

The next afternoon, I hadn't heard from my friend, so I texted her for an update. That's when I received a text saying that her mom had told her that SHE wanted to go to the concert as a special memory before my friend's youngest sister graduated high school. When I received the text, I was hurt and upset. When my friend called me, I told her that I had been planning this for months and I would be really hurt and disappointed if I didn't get to go. In my head, I assumed she would tell her mom it was my ticket, and it just wasn't possible to give it away.

I need to specify that I haven't paid for the ticket. I was going to transfer my friend before the concert, I just hadn't yet. Despite this, I felt that because she invited me months ago, and bought the ticket for me, It was mine. She told me she would talk to her mom and try and sort it out. I offered to pay for the ticket so she could tell her mom that she sold me the ticket. Suffice it to say that after subsequent talks with her parents, my friend told me that her parents were set on going. Essentially, I was out. She told me that her parents didn't know I was going and since they felt bad, they would help subsidize resale tickets for us somewhere else. However, I am mad my friend didn’t stick up for me and plans to give her mom the ticket.

AITA if I told my friend that I need to take a step back from our friendship because of this? I know they offered to pay for other tickets and it wasn't her fault, but I still don't want to go with her anymore.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Clear-Coat9787 on 2024-01-05 05:07:36+00:00.

I27f have been with my fiancé for 6 years. We’ve been living full time together for 2 and a half years. He was in the military and stationed out of state for 3 years which occurred in the beginning of our relationship, I got pregnant with our first child during one of his leaves, and I unfortunately I had complications and had to have an emergency c section, completely unplanned, where my fiancé couldn’t make since he was out of state. I had my mother with me almost the entire time which put me completely at ease, my mom and I have always been super close.

I am currently 12 weeks pregnant with our second child, my fiancé now discharged from the military, working in our area. I’m extremely nervous to have my fiancé in the room, I have insecurities about myself, and I always thought I’d want to share that experience with my fiance but now I’m extremely anxious. My fiancé has ptsd from the military, and I don’t want to trigger anything along with me possibly sh*tting on myself. I felt completely comfortable with my mother and this is a new experience for me.

When I told my fiancé this he became upset, said that was selfish of me, this was his child as well, that he wanted to share this experience with me, that he deserved to be in there. We got into a tiny argument, and he told me I truly wasn’t being fair.

Now I’m upset, and conflicted. WIBTA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Realistic-Storm-6028 on 2024-01-05 04:01:01+00:00.

I have an older and younger brother. My older brother Mike has an 8yo son named Nicky and I have a 10yo named Jared and 7yo named Dylan. Recently I found out that my younger brother Loren has been babysitting Nicky for free because that's "what bros do for bros." When I asked Loren when do we get out free babysitting, he said my wife and I would have to pay him.

WTF?

I told him that Mike isn't paying him so why should I? I told him that he just can't do one thing for one bro and not the other. That's some bs right there. He needs to do it the same way. I'm hurt beyond words that my own bro won't watch my kids but he'll watch Mike's kid for free. And school starts next week too. My kids would love to have their Uncle Loren watch all the cousins together.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/beta-test on 2024-01-05 02:16:45+00:00.

I just got off work about 15 minutes ago, and pulled into a parking spot to take a rest break when I noticed a homeless women walking towards the car as I pulled in. I had a feeling she was going to ask me for something and she ended up walking to my drivers side window and tried to get my attention for about a minute while I was on my phone. I ignored her the whole time and she eventually went towards the windshield to get my direct attention, so I honked for a few seconds and she started crying as she walked away and finally got the memo. I felt pretty bad after but I really didn’t feel like talking to anyone at the moment.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/black_lace_teddy on 2024-01-05 00:43:47+00:00.

Original Title: AITA got fired from work today over WebEx. Manager starts in with “this isn’t a good meeting, today is your last day” my reaction. “Guess I don’t have to listen to you anymore” and then clicked off the meeting

So, am I?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/AccurateEconomics628 on 2024-01-04 23:36:21+00:00.

As a stay-at-home mom (33F) to our 6-month-old baby and energetic 5-year-old, my days are a non-stop whirlwind of diapers, playdates, and household chores. Meanwhile, my husband (33M), a software engineer, has been working from home for the past three years. But here's the thing: his work habits are a bit... unusual, and I'm starting to feel overwhelmed.

During the day, I often see him pacing around the house, deeply engrossed in his thoughts, sometimes even muttering to himself. When he's not pacing, he's in his office, shooting hoops with this mini basketball net. But it's not the relaxed, fun break you'd imagine. He looks tense, almost as if he's forcing himself to take these breaks, not really enjoying them.

Yesterday, after a particularly tough day (the baby was extra clingy and the 5-year-old had a meltdown over a lost toy), I reached my limit. I asked my husband if he could pitch in more during his workday. "Maybe hold the baby while I make lunch, or play with our eldest so I can catch a break," I suggested, pointing out that his breaks could be opportunities to lend a hand.

His response threw me off. He explained that his job isn't like a typical 9-5 gig. Those moments of pacing and playing basketball are him working through software problems in his head. He insisted that even though he's physically present, he's still on the clock, mentally working out bugs or feature designs.I get that his job is demanding and mentally taxing, but I can't shake off the feeling of frustration. Here I am, juggling two kids and a home, while he's right there, seemingly available yet mentally elsewhere.

We ended up having a bit of an argument where I expressed how exhausting my days are, and he reiterated his need for mental focus during work hours. He does help out in the evenings and weekends, but weekdays are pretty much all on me.So, AITA for expecting him to contribute more during his work hours, despite understanding the mental demands of his job? I'm trying to be empathetic, but with a baby that needs constant care and a 5-year-old who's a bundle of energy, I feel like I'm barely keeping my head above water.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Shambodien123 on 2024-01-04 22:00:56+00:00.

My girlfriend and I went to a concert with a couple of her buddies last month. We hung out with them for the night, I didn’t really bond with them but the next morning I still decided to followed one of the girls on instagram. She didn’t accept my request for a few days and I told my girlfriend this and she flipped. She called me ‘two face’ because she thought I didn’t like her and also said I shouldn’t have done it behind her back. I never explicitly said I didn’t like her I just commented after the concert that she was quite reserved.

My girlfriend has told me to never miention this girl again. Is this a stupid move by me?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/laughinggfcrash on 2024-01-04 19:50:52+00:00.

I (29M) recently emigrated to a new country with my girlfriend (28F). She is more like my wife but we aren't officially married but have had a religious wedding.

She is uneducated woman and does not work and we don't have any kids so she depends on my finances.

In my home country it is rare for woman to drive even though it is technically allowed now. Since coming here she has been begging me to allow her to take driver lessons.

I initially refuse but she kept bringing it up for the 2 years we have been here.

She recently start her lessons and yesterday she crash the car in car park during lesson.

I went to see her and made sure everyone was OK and everyone was fine but then I started laughing because it was really funny what happened. She press gas instead of break the car went slanting between two parked cars.

Later she got upset at me for laughing even though it was because it was funny. How can someone press wrong pedal?

Even though she herself realize she can't drive and has decided to stop.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Sia_Sia_Sia on 2024-01-04 19:25:15+00:00.

My wife has been helping out with some of the administrative shit after my dad has been placed in a retirement home. We've decided to donate his car since it's a total pile of shit. When you donate a car, you get the option of doing it in the memory of someone ... so my wife donated it in my late mother's name. My mom died 20 years ago from cancer.

I've been laughing at my wife all week... just the thought of giving someone this rusty ass pile of shit and then receiving a letter "in memory of ... this has been making me laugh so randomly.

My wife is pissed at me for being thoughtless and roasting her. AITA??

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Misty569 on 2024-01-04 18:45:55+00:00.

English isn’t my native language but I’ll make my best to explain myself in a most comprehensible way.

I’m 24yo old teacher working in a state school. This year I’ve got some 10 grades to teach and had no problems going through with it. Until now. I have a male student in 10 grade, he call himself charming and attractive and think no one can say “no” to him.

Since the first lesson he would stare at me in a very uncomfortable way. Was it a hate-stare? Or just-stare? I didn’t think of it much once lessons ended. But after some time he started complimenting me and saying some flirty phrases. Other students told me that he doesn’t show up at any lessons, but mine. One of his classmates came to me after the lesson and said that this guy is known by hitting on grown women and the way he talk to me and about me is different from the way he talk about other teachers.

I immediately told my head teacher about his behaviour, but her response was “he’s just 15yo kid, don’t be mad at him”. Well, I didn’t expect much from our administration. So I decided to just ignore him. What surprises me most - this kid used all kinds of manipulations to get my attention. I was tolerating this crap for six months. He was trying to get me emotional and also get some affection from me, but failed.

He acted like some “alpha” males do when I was around and thought I would fall for it. Wish he was doing his homework instead of wasting time like this.

One day he decided to go hard on it. He came to me and told me he has some of my voice messages from WhatsApp and refused to tell me where he got them from. I assumed he hacked my phone and this was the last straw. I sent him to the major headteachers and blew up on him in front of them. I was so sick of him and tired that I couldn’t help it. It turned out he didn’t hack my phone and just lied in order to get some emotional reaction from me.

His smirk was gone and he started to realize his behaviour got him in trouble. The headteachers finally listened to me and decided to set him for disciplinary punishment. The student said that I overreacted and had no right to blew up on him and tried to blame me in front of administration. They didn’t buy it, because they know they failed to protect teachers from teenagers stepping over the line. Am I the asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Miserable_Work6469 on 2024-01-04 17:19:20+00:00.

I (24,F) have a friend (25,F) who seems to take strong influence in the things I do or wear. Last year I got a tattoo that I had planned for a while to finish my sleeve. When I sent my group chat a photo she said she loved it! A few weeks later, she had a very similar tattoo in the same style. This has happened for my last 3 tattoos, so i just stopped sharing them. Then, I switched my style to a more hyper feminine cottagey vibe. On my birthday, she showed up in a dress I had shared that I wanted to purchase. Most recently, I’ve had bangs for most of my adult life. My friends joke that if I grew them out they wouldn’t even recognize me. This friend, without warning, snapchatted me that she now has bangs and has colored her hair a similar color to mine as well. I have tried to let this go multiple times, even as to distance myself from this friend until recently as we are all a tight friend group. My other friends know how I feel and will even point it out before I do.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/HelpRemarkable333 on 2024-01-04 17:00:15+00:00.

I’m a college student, I work a part time job and intern as a personal trainer. I cook quite a bit because It’s my lifestyle. Last week, I decided to make a new recipe which had me tenderize chicken, took me a minute to tenderize all of them and a couple minutes later I get a knock on my door, it’s my neighbor saying to stop banging on the wall. My girlfriend responds with “We’re just cooking, we can hear you guys in the kitchen too.” and he just responded with “Oh.” and left. Fast forward pretty much a week later and I’m making the same recipe, I just knew they were going to complain again. A minute after I tenderized the chicken they decided to bang on the wall to send a message. I was already done tenderizing the chicken and that was the last of noise, it lasted 1 minute.

Now the issue that’s bothering me the most is this woman (she’s like 19) is pregnant. Her boyfriend has been smoking cigarettes and weed inside, and me and my gf have literally seen him open the window to blow it out when we arrived home one night. The scent lingers in the hallways badly, and sometimes even leaks into our apartment. How can they be mad about a 1 minute inconvenience when they are smoking indoors, even during 60 degree weather??

Not sure what to do here, we cook between 6pm-7pm, we told them once that we were cooking and the noise only lasted a minute. Thought they would maybe be understanding that we’re not constantly making loud noises it’s only a once in awhile thing, but right as I tenderize meat I’m a terrible person. I tried to tenderize further away from their wall yesterday but clearly it didn’t work, I don’t know why I should accommodate for these people when they don’t consider us.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Pleasant_Associate22 on 2024-01-04 16:50:00+00:00.

I’m away from home a lot of the time due to work commitments, which is tough because I don’t have as much time as I would like to spend with my family, and although I try to talk with them as much as possible when I’m away, communication is limited. Recently I found out that my wife has been hiring a sitter occasionally for our son [7] when I’m away, so that she can go out to dinner with friends. It came as a surprise to me because we usually plan these things together when I’m at home.

I appreciate the efforts she puts into taking care of our son while I’m gone, but I work long hours during my trips, and learning about the sitter arrangement left me feeling pretty annoyed with her. I asked her why she had never told me before and she said that it just never came up because we only talk in short spurts, and she didn’t think it would be an issue because we usually get a sitter for a night when I come home.

I told her that it isn’t right and she’s wasting money selfishly, because she gets breaks during the day and after our son goes to bed, and it’s wrong to leave him when I have to work 24/7 on business trips. I told her I didn’t want her to do it again but she got upset because she didn’t think it was fair.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ittostoenails on 2024-01-04 16:47:31+00:00.

Our cat Mittens died 5 years ago, suddenly. She started getting sick around 2pm on a Sunday and we planned to take her to the vet first thing in the morning but she died at 10pm. My parents and I were devastated. We all cried on and off for weeks. My mom took it hardest of all. After all this time, we still have pictures of Mittens hanging around the house. My mom will talk about Mittens to our other 2 cats, 1 of which was Mittens' littermate.

Mittens weighed 18 pounds at her heaviest. Her littermate, sister about her size weighs 9 pounds. The vet had told us to get interactive feeders and diet kibble for Mittens, and we did, but my mother would pour the kibble out of the feeders so she was still just eating and eating, and she always got her daily wet food in addition. I personally believe what ultimately got her was a bowel obstruction, as she always had problems with hairballs and vomiting up kibble, often multiple times a day.

Last week, my mom was talking about Mittens while my dad and I were in the room, she was technically talking to our other cat. My dad made some comment about Mittens, that she was cute or something. Then my mom says "we killed the cat, we starved her". She's been saying that for years and for some reason this was the time I couldn't take it anymore. So I said firmly "I'd appreciate if you would stop saying that. I didn't kill Mittens. She died because her time was up". My mom immediately goes "I wasn't talking to you". I said if anything she died because we didn't track down an emergency vet the same day and bankrupt ourselves on emergency surgery, and even if we did she could've died in surgery or after surgery. I said I was did the best I could so I don't want to hear again that I killed Mittens because I didn't.

My mom thinks I yelled at her. My dad thinks I shouldn't have said anything. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/throwaway-btrfan on 2024-01-04 16:20:22+00:00.

I (24F at the time, 25F now) went to Jingle Ball in Fort Worth, TX in late November. I have been a huge fan of the band Big Time Rush since they formed in 2009 and flew out solely to participate in their pre-show fan event. Little private concert, free food and drinks, pics with the band (I literally stood right next to Logan aaaa), so it was a very cool experience.

After the band leaves to start getting ready for the actual show, we were allowed to hang out in the private room, mingle, snack, etc. Some girls had taken the stools that the band had been sitting on when they performed and were taking pictures in front of the backdrop while sitting on the stools.

I notice this and jokingly go "you think we are worthy to sit where they sat?", laughing to myself a bit. To me, an obvious joke, and no of course I don't care if people want to take pics in the stools. I'd also like to point out I said "we", including myself in there too.

Well the mother of one of the girls in the picture must have overheard me, and she comes up to me and goes "that was rude". I start to reply with "It was a joke, I don't actually care" but she cuts me off before I'm able to finish with "No, it wasn't. No, it wasn't."

I continue trying to tell her it was a joke, but she continues to cut me off and starts to say "you're a pretty girl but you're UGLY when you say things like that." Realizing I'm never going to get a word in to explain myself, I simply say "Okay, whatever, dude." and walk away.

Now, I don't know if this'll change anyone's perspective, but for context, I'm autistic (Asperger's specifically) so this is far from the first time I've ever had to put my foot in my mouth or made a joke that didn't land.

This was over a month ago now and I'm most likely never going to see that woman again since I live in a different part of the country, but I still think about it. My friends have been telling me I'm NTA and the mom overreacted, but I want unbiased opinions.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Dry_Sky_856 on 2024-01-04 15:21:49+00:00.

For context, I female was married to my ex-husband for two years. we decided we were not good together and had a divorce. My good friend asked for permission to date my husband and I allowed it. I am now married to a mutual friend of ours as well which we cleared with my x husband as well. We’re probably all assholes in this situation however, we all have a mutual respect about each other. We support each other’s relationships and all care about each other’s happiness. However, his girlfriend is also my friend posted a TikTok of them together with onesies with captions 2023 and then she posted a video of them together with onesies in 2021 well, we were married together in 2021. She did make the caption. “I think this was cute in my head.” I f. Which tells me she kind of knew how it would be perceived by me or others, who knew we were married together. To clarify, I don’t think she intentionally did it but I think she knew deep down what she was doing so I asked her to remove the video explaining that makes me question her character, and if she had intentions with my ex-husband from the beginning. Again, we are both happily in relationships, so I just wanted her to remove the video because I found it as a sign of direspect, I like all of their videos but this one gave me an ick… am I the asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/messypawprints on 2024-01-04 15:08:32+00:00.

Edit: Judgement rendered, universally agreed IATA. Thank you all for your insight. I'm going to have a hard time changing moving forward, but I suspect it is because IATA and that is par for the course.

Closing thoughts: many of you provided insightful views which I hadn't considered, but a ton of you guys are also AHs, lol. Sounds like some commenters are dealing with some skeletons. All in good fun, ty!!

My wife and I were visiting her birth town (Midwest-USA, population 35k) when she was gifted a bracelet for xmas. She told her mom that she would be exchanging it for a different bracelet that matches her watch color, and her mom was totally fine with that.

On our way out of town, we stopped by the jeweler for the exchange but were told that they didnt have the desired metal available. My wife requested a refund for her mother's credit card, but were told that the store policy requires a receipt for the transaction.

The manager greeted my wife by name, knowing her from past Church involvement, and also personally knew her mother (old friends?). She said that she was able to see the receipt in their system, having looked it up by credit card, but the store policy said that "they needed a receipt”. I asked if a picture of the receipt would be OK (have her mom text a photo), and she agreed that it would be fine. I began to question the policy. My wife, recognizing what I was up to, looked at me and said, "Dont". I politely discarded her recommendation and asked the manager if I could walk through the logic so that I could better understand their policy.

The manager obliged, so I stated the following:

1. Manager personally knows my wife and her mother

2. Manager agrees that the item was purchased in that store

3. Our desire was for an exchange only, but we requested a refund only because of their inventory.

4. The refund requested was for her mother's card which we had in our possession

5. A photo of the receipt was "needed", but I verified that there was no additional information on the receipt that was required to process a return in their system

So what gives?

The manager stated that everything I said was correct, but it was their store policy and she stood by stating "it is a good policy". She added that they've had two incidents where meth heads returned gifts for cash without their parents knowledge.

It seemed ridiculous that addicts would get jewelry and "return" it, but whatever, what do I know about the midwest? I said "Ok", but was quick to point out that my wife was not on meth, and left it hanging there. After only a minute or two, the manager said they could make an exception this one time. I left the store as not to add any tension as the return was processed.

My wife was NOT pleased. She said that it's a small town and she was worried that it would make her parents uncomfortable when they found out what I did. I merely pointed out the absurdity of a policy that seemed only designed to waste customers' time, and that the purpose of a manager was to evaluate information and make decisions, NOT hide behind a policy.

Being from the NorthEast and completely OK with self-advocation, it left me wondering if I was a total asshole for advocating for my wife. I know she didn't ask for the help, and even asked me NOT to engage in the conversation, but I just couldn't resist.. because fuck them. AITA?