Am I the Asshole?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/rachiedog01 on 2024-01-04 13:01:42+00:00.

My friend Rachael (yes we have the same name) and I have been friends for years. I was with my partner MB (m25) since high school, recently we were having issues and instead of being a supportive friend, she rushes to his side to be a shoulder to cry on for him. I have no idea what they’ve been getting up to but he was at her house for 6 hours the other day, we are not officially broken up. I called her out on this and her excuse was, “he needed someone to talk to, I would never do that to you” later I found out she stayed the next night at his house. Again I called her out and she makes up excused and so I snapped and called her the fakest b**** to ever live. Now she’s trying to turn all our friends against me making up all these false things saying I cheated and all that. I don’t know what to do right now.

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/SlowmadicKayleigh on 2024-01-04 12:00:49+00:00.

TLDR: I invited someone to my NYE party, realised it wasn't her vibe and dropped it. She didn't realise but she still had a good NYE. Then she wrote me a long, crazy message (below).

I had a small party on 22nd December and I invited a woman I recently met at a sports club. She is German, new in town and doesn’t have many friends and I am moving to Germany in spring, so we have hung out a bit. I told her about my NYE party and invited her to come. She said it sounded fun and that she would be there. We didn't discuss timings etc. That night she left at about 1am, she had eaten a couple of mushrooms (legal here) and had a couple of beers. The party continued until 5am and got wild. I realised she would not like the vibe of my big NYE, so I just dropped it.

We met up on 28th December and neither of us mentioned NYE. I thought that was the end of it and she had already made other plans. She wrote me 3 general chatty messages (not asking for specific details about the party) on 29th and 31st December and I didn't reply.

My party was great. We ate at my house, started the party here and went into town for the fireworks as planned. We saw her there, I hugged her and everything was fine. Yesterday she went to the sports club. I wasn’t there. She heard about my party from our mutual friends. In the evening she wrote me this message:

"I heard a bit about your NYE today and I'm hurt by how you treated me. I think you owe me an apology.

When you invited me to join you and I said yes, I (obviously) thought I had plans for NYE. I only realised that I was no longer welcome at about 5pm. You should have told me you had changed your mind in time for me to make other plans. My German friends had already left for City A and it was too late for me to go to City B (the place she lived until August). I couldn't even join my housemates because they went somewhere that needed tickets and there were no more tickets left. I ended up spending the night with complete strangers. They were lovely and I had fun, but I'm hurt that strangers were nicer to me than you because (until then) I thought we were friends.

It would not have taken you much time to tell me I should make other plans. I think it was mean and cowardly to just ignore me until I figured it out. I hope that when you're in Germany, a long way from home and struggling to communicate and make new friends, that they are kinder to you than you were to me."

I haven't replied. I think the message is way too much. She should have realised plans had changed when I didn't tell her the details, confirm with her if she was coming or even mention it to her on 28th. That was plenty of time for her to get tickets or go to another city. I don't think it was my fault she left it to the last minute and missed out. She had a good night anyway and was happy when we saw her. AITA?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/guavacakes2 on 2024-01-04 11:08:11+00:00.

Burner. For a bit of context, Daniel (20M) and I (20F) met in our freshmen year of college and became extremely close friends after two years. We have one mutual best friend, Willow (21F), who Daniel went to high school with and I became friends with week 1 of college.

A few months ago, we started casually hooking up after a lot of building sexual tension. It was a textbook casual sex scenario, with an added layer of emotional intimacy because of our friendship. When we first started hooking up, he had one condition that he was adamant about: that we don't tell anyone, especially Willow, because according to him, she has always been in his business when it comes to girls and he just "didn't want to hear it" from her. I agreed, also wanting to keep things lowkey.

Daniel ended things after they grew a little too toxic, and we agreed to stay friends. I had mixed feelings, but was was relieved to finally be able to tell Willow. I Ubered to her place right away and told her, deliberately leaving out anything that made Daniel look too bad. After I left, I got an incredibly angry series of texts from Daniel, accusing me of betraying his trust and that he could not believe that I ran to Willow so quickly. Apparently Willow had called to tease him after I left. I texted Daniel a very long, heartfelt apology explaining how I truly believed that the plan was always to eventually tell Willow after we ended things (although I admit I was hasty with it). He never responded.

After two months of not speaking to me, he shows up at my door. After some arguing, he finally admitted that he wanted an apology from me. That he had waited 2 months for me to call him and say I'm sorry and that I never did. I reminded him that I had texted him a very long apology. He said that he read it but wanted a verbal one. I did not think this was a valid reason for unilaterally ending our friendship, especially because how was I supposed to know what he wanted? I accused him of using me for sex and and never caring about our friendship. He accused me of not being genuinely sorry and cold for constantly invalidating his feelings. After more arguing, he left.

After speaking to some of my guy friends at home, they told me that I was the asshole. They said that I am not the person who gets to decide what a valid apology looks like when I was the one who committed the wrong. My girls at school (my 3 roommates and Willow) don't think I was in the wrong and that he's overreacting to a miscommunication (and that he's trying to pull off a power play by having me verbally apologize).

I can definitely see my guy friends' points but my girls were actually there through it all and maybe have more accurate thoughts on it. Daniel and I are not on speaking terms so should I apologize? Am I the asshole?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/BoilingFern on 2024-01-05 05:19:28+00:00.

I (36f) live with my sister and daughter. Things are rough financially, but I've opened a book store, which is getting more popular. My daughter (10) hangs out with me there after school, and gets most of her allowance from helping out. She has extreme scarring on about a fourth of her face, and wears a mask everywhere after experience with bullying.

A woman and her son came in one day, and I got to helping the woman find a specific book. My daughter ran up to me crying, holding her broken mask. The boy asked her to take it off, and got mad when she didn't.

I scolded the boy, and the woman said I wasn't his mom. I said I was doing what she should be doing, and she said "She's scarred, boo hoo. You're making her soft."

I banned her on the spot. She said I was a grown up brat and left. Later, my sister got onto me, saying we can't afford to be picky right now. AITA?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ThrowRAgingbutterfly on 2024-01-05 03:10:52+00:00.

My (25F) bridesmaid (25F), Nola said she does not like the hairstyle I have picked for the bridesmaids and is going to be wearing the same hairstyle as me. When I told her no she got very upset.

My bridesmaids are wearing a messy bun, and I'll be having my hair down in Hollywood waves.

For context, we've known each other nearly 5 years, but haven't kept in touch much in the last 2. The only reason she's a bridesmaid is because she called me up on a promise I made her 3 years ago saying that I'd make her my bridesmaid when I got married.

I'm really bad at saying no, so I said yes. I got her the bridesmaids outfit and accessories (I am paying for everything - they are paying for their own hair & makeup).

Nola has already said she doesn't like the bridesmaids outfit and asked me to change it. I was unable to as my other bridesmaids loved theirs and the dresses were non refundable.

I also asked my bridesmaids to wear any colour of the rainbow to my bridal shower, and I told them I'm wearing white.

Nola said, "I'm wearing pink" Me: Uh, sorry but pink isn't a rainbow colour. Did you want to pick something else? Nola: Fine, then I'll wear white Me: That isn't a rainbow colour either and I'm wearing white, how about you wear green? Nola: I'll think about it.

I've already asked her to cater to my above requests (not changing the bridesmaid dress & wearing a rainbow colour for the bridal shower)

AITA for also asking her not to wear her hair like mine & wear it like the rest of the bridesmaids?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Beginning-Buy-2487 on 2024-01-05 00:33:10+00:00.

I've had this Netflix account since before meeting my husband. It's tied to my email and of course my password. I login today to see that he added his fire station to our account without asking me for communal use. He is new to this station, so there are plenty of other men there that could have done this before if they wanted to. I've asked him several times before to not give my accounts to anyone. Our money is shared so technically we both pay for this account (we both work), but because of the information tied to it, I consider it mine. I started to text him about it and he promptly ignored me when he realized my "tone". I would like to kick the station off since it's likely they all have their own accounts anyways. He thinks I'm overreacting. AITA?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/orderfooddimsum on 2024-01-05 02:10:54+00:00.

I (28M) live in Canada, my roommate (29F) and I usually get along well.

I am originally from China and have family and savings in accounts there.

The other day my roommate commented that I must spend a lot on takeout as I order takeout like 4 to 5 times a week.

I then explained to her that I don't really spend much as I only order from a small number of Chinese restaurants who have an agreement with me and don't use standard delivery apps. I pay them in yuan and arrange the delivery over wechat so there is no tip and tax and they give me discounted prices.

A week later she didn't have many groceries left and she asked me to add something for her and she will pay me back. I refused because she isn't part of the agreement and I don't want to betray the restaurant owners and also she wouldn't be able to pay me back in yuan.

She seems upset and isn't being as cordial.aita

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/laniaexpress on 2024-01-05 00:51:20+00:00.

Backstory:

My brother was killed in a car crash and he had two cats. The cats are going to be sent to a shelter in a couple of weeks because no one is able to take them in. Thankfully the landlord understood the situation and was willing to let the cats stay until the animal humane society (which is in 2 weeks).

The problem is, when me and my parents were cleaning/moving my brother's stuff, his friend who I'll call Stacey, asked me if it was okay for her to take the cat food and liter so that she could feed her cat. I told her no for obvious reasons. It ended up with her trying to guilt trip me by saying that she's gonna have to feed her cat less than usual, her grandparents are living paycheck to paycheck and pretty much tried to make it my fault if her cats starve.

I also want to say that, I never met this women until this day. What I do know from what she told me is that she's 25 years old, has no job, and lives, and depends on her grandparents to take care of her.

I got pissed off because in my mind, I'm not gonna let her put her burden onto me when I have a funeral to prepare. So I told her "That's not my problem, why don't you just get a job if you need to feed your cats?". She then starts yelling at me saying I'm an awful person, animal abuser, animal hater, and etc. So far I've been ignoring her calls/texts.

AITA?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/throwRA_mismrder on 2024-01-05 00:07:30+00:00.

I (m34) got married to my husband, Mar (m35), last October, with the marriage came three kids from his previous relationship. I adore them, I have a good relationship with the younger two, the eldest (Damon) is still rather awkward around me. I'd say that I am their main carer, as Mar is paid enough at work to allow me to stay at home and focus on my art, and their mother, Christine, is always busy with shifts at her two jobs. It's gotten to the point that the youngest, Alma (F2), calls me 'daddy.'

I have very solid beliefs, such as the belief that meat is unethical. I don't want anyone to bring meat into my house, when I got into a relationship with Mar, he became vegetarian. As a result, when the kids are here, the meals I cook for them contain no meat. Damon had no problem with it up until now, he complains at every given opportunity about the lack of meat. I've explained to him that eating meat is non-negotiable, he can eat it at his mother's. His father backed me up. I've tried to compromise by buying him 'beyond meat', but he still insists on actual meat.

Another thing is that my husband is very affectionate to me and the kids, although Damon being 15 is embarrassed by that. The younger two always climb onto our laps for hugs, and Alma always wants to be carried around on my hip.

I don't speak to Christine much, we're not on very good terms as she has been homophobic to me in the past and critical of my former job, so I was surprised when she wanted to speak to me when I dropped her kids off at her home. She demanded that I don't 'push' vegetarianism on her kids, to allow them to eat meat in our home, to which I told her that I don't dictate what food she cooks in her house, so she shouldn't do so to me. She also stated she was uncomfortable with Alma calling me 'daddy' and the affection I show to her kids.

Asides from being vegetarian, I tried to respect her wishes and discourage Alma from calling me 'daddy' and I stopped letting her and river climb onto my lap or hug me. That didn't work out very well and I was left to deal with 2 confused and upset little kids to comfort, therefore I decided to go against their mother's wishes and let them carry on doing what they're used to. I feel conflicted because their mother's wishes have been disrespected, but at the same time, I'm just doing what's best for the kids, not what's best for her.

edit ; idk why everyone assumes Damon is outright banned from meat, he does eat meat when he goes out with his father or his friends. shit, I even pay for it when he goes out to eat. the smell of meat nauseates me for a variety of reasons

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Assholezconnoisseur on 2024-01-05 00:01:51+00:00.

My wife and I had our first child last year and it's been quite an intense few months. My wife has been on an extended 'maternity leave' but on top of that we've also hired a nanny/maid to assist us with the baby as well as keep the house in order. She stays in our guest house. To celebrate our anniversary I planned for us to take a trip by ourselves just to reconnect and give her some proper time away from the our son. She was excited about leaving but was slightly concerned about leaving our son behind (her mother was going to come down and babysit with the nanny). Trying to ease things I asked the nanny if she'd be willing to come along with us on our trip and take care of the baby - stressing that this was supposed to be our couple vacation so most of the childcare will be hers and more than usual. She jumped at the idea and so I also arrange her ticket and accomodation (to be clear she was also paid extra for the 'overtime').

The trip was a week long and our arrangement was going quite well at first. My wife was relaxed, we reconnected and our son was close by for whenever we missed him. We would take our son and give her a break either in the mornings or afternoons. On our last day she asked if we could take the night shift as she'd met someone who'd asked her on a date. Besides that going against our arrangement (the point was to give us a break from the sleepless nights), I'd already paid and planned an intimate date on the beach with my wife for our last night. It became a bit of an issue with her trying to guilt my wife and saying we were being unfair but by the end of it, we didn't give in and she looked after the kid. Upon returning my wife heard her on the phone saying that she was thinking of quiting over all of this and that we were blocking her future so here we are.

Wife thinks we made a mistake, I don't disagree that it might've been assholish but ultimately it was our arrangement and she was paid extra for it. Are we the assholes?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/aitastepmomstop on 2024-01-04 23:04:54+00:00.

My dad has two kids with our mom, me 30(F) and my older brother Marco, 34(M). Marco is biologically the son of my dad's paternal half-sister. She ended up dying in an accident, and my mom and dad adopted him, since his biological father wasn't in the picture. My brother was a baby when his biological mom died, so our dad and mom are the only parents he ever knew, and they always treated him like a son. Even after our parents divorced, mom always valued Marco like one of her own. Marco is considered the eldest, and I'm fine with that. He's always been my big brother, regardless of our biology.

Dad married 'Jess' a few years after he divorced our mom. Jess was nice to us at first. We weren't overly close, but we could be cool with each other. But when Jess and Dad had kids of their own, she began to get jealous that he still gave so much attention to us. She felt this way particularly to Marco, considering he's the adopted kid.

At some point, she and dad divorced. Why they did isn't exactly important, but the point is she's not our 'stepmom' anymore. It was a messy situation, let's just say that.

Dad's gone now. We're still in contact with Jess, but only because of our half-siblings, Emma 19(F) and Alex 18(M). Alex mostly, since he's a sensible kid, but Emma... For now, let's just say our relationship isn't too great.

My Grandmother (Dad's mom) wanted to see all of her grandkids recently, so we all went to visit her yesterday.

While talking with her, Marco made a passing comment about how he used to love hanging here when me and him were kids, and how he'd always wished to stay there all the time. My grandma then laughed, and said, something like how that may happen, as she might be planning to leave this house to him once she passes away.

Jess, who was also there, took offense. She asked why Marco would get the house and not any of her kids. Grandma said that Marco is the eldest of her grandkids, so if she were to leave the house to someone, it'd be him. Jess got upset, and said that's a stupid precedent in which to leave a house to someone. Grandma said it was her choice. Emma got involved, and said that's not fair, that Marco's not even her 'real grandson', or even related to him by blood at all. They tried to argue, saying that as Dad's 'blood children', they have more right to the house. I got pissed at that and said. "Look, Marco is Dad's eldest. He always will be, so just get over it and move on, okay?" That caused Emma to start crying, and Jess left with her and Alex.

I later got a text from Jess, telling me that she hopes that I'm proud of myself, because I made Emma feel inferior to Marco, and that I'm basically saying that Emma's blood connection to Dad means nothing.

I didn't want to hurt Emma's feelings. We don't get along, but all I wanted to do was defend my brother, and it came off more as me saying that my Dad didn't love Emma.

AITA?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Disneybabe79 on 2024-01-05 02:03:50+00:00.

I (23 female) and my fiance (21 male) have been engaged for a little under 3 months. Very early in our engagement we agreed to not allow children at our wedding that are under 16. Our wedding is in October of 2024 there will be ample adult beverages as well as 2 fire places with no gates or covers. Basically no safety precautions for small children. We decided collectively no one under 16 because they are old enough to drive and leave if they please and are mature enough to respect the environment. Now we told everyone in our lives that have children that we are having a child free event. Almost everyone has been absolutely ok with it. I have neices and nephews the oldest of whom is 11 my matron of honor has a 3 year old. Everyone has been ok with it. We also gave them a year's notice. Now my fiancé's father is the only one who seems to have an issue with this because he has 2 children (8 and 12). He has informed us that because they are not welcome that entire side of the family is not going to attend. We have been getting very manipulative phone calls this entire time and they have accused me of being controlling. As well as plan meet ups with my fiance to talk about this where I am not welcome (he has not gone). I will add his dad has never been a major part of my fiancé's life. He didn't make an effort when he was a kid my fiance was the one keeping in contact and going to see him he never came to see my fiance. Now. AITAH for not bending the rules for these kids just because they are brothers. Is it worth not having his entire side of the family because of 2 children?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/SailCivil2571 on 2024-01-04 20:02:21+00:00.

My husband (32M) and I (31F) live in a modest 3 bed 2 bath house. We don’t have kids so it’s just the 2 of us and our dog. We’ve had the house for years now and have designated personal spots in the house. The biggest bedroom is our room, the medium sized bedroom is a guest room and my husband uses the dresser in it for his clothes. And the smallest of the bedrooms is my husband’s room- a man cave, one may call it.

We also have a “sunroom” which for the most part has been dedicated as mine. It’s a bit of a larger space and is our means to the backyard. We use it a lot for entertaining but I took control of the decor and the vibe of the room. About a third of the room I have made into a little yoga/pilates studio. I have plants everywhere and all of my equipment is coordinated to the decor- a great little zen spot if I do say so myself. And the other 2/3s of the room has a sofa and a table and the door to the back yard.

My husband’s family has a traveling Peloton bike. It’s been with his parents, then to us, then with his brother and now it’s traveling back to us. I personally don’t like it but my husband thinks it’s a good workout. Anyway, he says he’s going to put it in the sunroom. I told him no and said he could put it in the guest room, his room or the garage. He says that the sunroom has the most space for it and it’s the nicest room in the house so it will be nice for him to work out in there.

Now for those of you who have seen a Peloton bike in person, they aren’t the sleekest. It’s big and clunky and black and 1. Does not fit the bright, light natural sanctuary I made the room to be and 2. The space he wants to put it in is awkwardly right in the middle of the room blocking the path to the back door. And since we’ve had it before I know what it looks like and the inconvenient space it takes up (which is part of the reason we gave it away the first time).

It’s not like I said he couldn’t put it in the house at all, I gave him other option. So AITA for not letting my husband put a peloton in our sunroom?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/CheddarShibe on 2024-01-05 02:00:36+00:00.

I (30,F) have been with my partner, Derek (31,M), for the last 4 years. Our personal relationship and my relationship with his mom are great except for one point of contention: his brother, Alvin (28).

When my partner and I first met, he gave me a firm warning not to trust his brother.. At the time, Derek lived with Alvin in their mother's house. Mother lived overseas and visited maybe 1x a year. Alvin was rarely home, usually spending his time partying, working weird hours, or just locked in his room gaming. I wouldn't see him often, but when I did, I tried to be polite and cook extra portions to leave in the fridge (since he would steal Derek's food). Knowing his behavioural issues, I wanted to stay ahead of the curve and out of his way. My family even had me invite him to Christmas and Thanksgiving- Derek accepted these peace offerings but warned my family to be careful.

After about 2 years of being together, I had forcefully brushed off many incidents involving his brother, making me question the entire relationship. The time Alvin's neglected German Shepard ate something bad, but he refused to take her to the vet because he was high (Derek paid the vet bill and now she lives with us), the time he threw a shot glass at a mutual friend's face, the time he took care of his friend's pug claimed it was mine and that I had abandoned it with him... but when made me snap was when he let my 2-year-old shiba inu out the front door and didn't care. The dog ran into the streets and down the road. Derek chased after him and eventually got him. Alvin said it was my fault that the dog wasn't trained (he was IN training); Derek became defensive, and they started a yelling match. I stepped in, and Alvin became dangerous. I decided it was the last straw, and staying at their house was no longer safe, so I banned myself.

Since then, Alvin has only been juvenile and rude, calling me names over the phone and telling his mom how bad I am. I decided when I left that house, I would ignore him and cut him out. I get along great with their mom, but she insists that even though 'Alvin is sick' I should make amends. My own family thinks I'm pettily banning him from my family's Christmas/ holiday dinners. Even Derek claims that Alvin is trying to change (but every time he says that, things only get worse between them). His mom can't stand being together with Alvin and it's one of her many reasons for not coming to visit. Derek now lives with me and is low-contact with Alvin.

I have spoken to a lawyer about this, and he advises me to steer clear and stay away. I have told my family that the lawyer recommends this, and they still call me petty. AITA?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Neat-Illustrator4374 on 2024-01-05 01:59:24+00:00.

SIL and I were best friends, & her & her wife moved in w/us when they needed a place. They lived in the basement, Paid small rent.

SIL refused to clean up their dogs messes. My hub had me handle all the money, & asked me to charge them a pet fee every time their dog pooped on the floor. We got a new puppy. Then they got one, making it their 3rd dog. Kept finding poop and pee all over the house. They accused our cats & dog of it, but I knew it wasn't. I even gated up my dog upstairs to prove. Then they got a new bed, built it, & left all the trash all over. We went to see if it had been picked up, when we noticed a ton of old dog poop.

I tell SIL it needs cleaned up. This was like a Thursday. She says, oh wife will do it on Sunday. I'm like, no. Now & informed her they'd be owing us a pet fee. She starts arguing with me, it turns into me saying they have to go. She says well we're paying rent week by week now so we can move. I inform her no, thats not how this works. She gets crazy, says shes not paying at all. I make her an official termination letter to dot my i's and cross my t's.

Her wife comes for me verbally, arguing & texting. SIL comes for me, & drags me up and down with personal insults, including, "why don't you call the cops, you're good at that," in reference to when I called the cops when my husband hit me a few years ago.

It's all in texts. Her refusal to clean, her refusal to pay the fee, her refusal to pay rent & her dragging me through the mud. I dealt with everything by myself.

Fast forward. Christmas. She gives her mom, my MIL a personalized calendar with "all of the families birthdays" in it. she didn't put me in it, but she also didnt put in my eldest daughter, her brother's stepdaughter. Shes been a part of this family for 13 years. Shes 15 now, and me and my husband got together when she was 2. We have 3 other daughters, and theyre all in there.

My eldest started crying at Christmas and I grabbed everyone and left. Later husband says he talked to SiL and she just forgot or the other story, there's two calendars and MIL got the wrong one. All bullshit in my opinion. SIL is a known liar, manipulator.

So I'm furious. I cut off SIL in June when the moving thing came out, and told my husband I wanted him to do the same after the way she treated me and the house so poorly.

A few days ago, he talking about going on a small trip to Michigan with SIL, her wife, and my MIL to pick up some supplies. I blow up, furious hed want to do anything with her. He goes anyways.

Comes home, and I'm still mad. He asks how he can make it right, I say not talk to her. He says I'm being ridiculous, and unreasonable that he wouldn't talk to her again. And he said its not like they have a real close relationship, just talk about green and go on quick trips to restock.

I informed him that this will be the hill I die on. She was horrific to me, and he never came to my defense.

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/udon-blue on 2024-01-05 01:58:41+00:00.

To start off, my sister wanted her hair braided so I lent her my hairties. At the end of the day I nicely asked her to give them back, in front of our family and she replied with a no. Then I asked her; why, they're mine?. She then said; I wanna sleep with them, so I get wavy hair. We went back and forth a few times until she said that I ruined the mood in the room and she went downstairs irritated. Everyone was silent. Later we brushed our teeth, then I asked her nicely again if I could get them back. She started to get more irritated and said; no, I wanna sleep with them, give me a reason why you should have it back. I was slightly taken aback and calmy answered; because they're mine. My sister got even more irritated. Our dad tried to make a compromise between us and that I would get one of the hairties back, while she had the other in her hair. She wouldn't have it that way and instead I got both back and she angryly went to her room.

I simply lent her my hairties and expected to get them back at the end of the day, and even asked nicely if she could give me them back. Am I the AITA?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/IndependentGuard3010 on 2024-01-04 19:44:57+00:00.

My mom (70F) is currently hospitalized because of a stroke. I was going to stay with her for the night.

During the night there was a problem with her IV, and there was a woman who was next to another patient and wearing scrubs. I had glasses on and couldn't read the name tag. I just said 'are you my mom's nurse? Can you take a look at the IV?'

She gave me a very nasty look and said she had already told me multiple times that she was not a nurse, that she was a neurosurgeon taking care of a potential emergency, that not all women are nurses, and told me to just push the button if I have any problems regarding the nurse.

She had a very arrogant condescending tone but I feel like an AH for acting a but sexist and assuming she is a nurse. Am I TA?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/somerandomkid5634 on 2024-01-05 01:58:31+00:00.

About two months ago, I (17m) sent an email to my counselors asking them if they could add some classes to my schedule for 2nd semester. Student store (which is like a store run by students, it's open both before school and during lunch, i asked for the lunch period which is like 4th period), choir, and TV broadcasting.

A few days later, my counselors responded and told me that they will try and make accommodations to make that work. It took a few months for me to get a response on what my schedule would come out as.

Fast forward to today and my counselor told me that they finally got an update on what my schedule would turn out as. I was on my Chromebook during my 6th period and decided to look at Powerschool to see what my schedule. It had none of the classes I asked for on it, and it completely switched around my schedule to where it was different from what it was before:

1st/2nd: American Literature/U.S. History 3rd: Power Walking 4th: Innovation Space 5th: Math 6th: Theatre Production

When I first looked at it, I thought it must've had to be the wrong year (i took innovation space and that specific math class first semester last year). So I looked at the schedule in matrix view and I was proven wrong. I fucking saw red. That was the actual schedule for 2nd semester. I was so fucking angry and I texted my mom to tell her about this, and she told me to calm down and talk my counselors about it. I told her that at that point, I was ready to blow up at them. I obviously didn't do that because I would've gotten in trouble for it, but I really wanted to.

I texted some of my friends, and they told me that the reason I didn't get those classes was because they're different periods of the day then what I was hoping for. (context these was what I wanted my schedule to be:

1st/2nd: American Literature/US History)(it's a two hour block) 3rd: Math 4th: Student store 5th/6th: Choir and TV Broadcasting (idrc what order they're in tbh))

I can understand that reasoning, but why did they think a good replacement for it would be two classes that I already took last year? Thats the part that confuses me.

I’ve calmed down since then but I'm still very upset. AITA?

EDIT: I'm in 11th grade if anyone's curious

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Alive_Strain_3839 on 2024-01-05 01:56:20+00:00.

I (F16) asked to get a certain hairtyle done in a salon for my birthday gift from my mom . For context I wanted a full closure sew in with hair styling. In total the cost for the install and styling came to £80 which meant my mom had to buy a cheaper quality hair which cost to £100.

When I got my hair done the salon didn't cut it correctly and that in addition with the bad quality hair left me with thin short hair and micro bangs instead of the long layered hair cut that I asked for. I tried to tell the hairstylist my issues with it but she insisted she did what I asked and it was the hair being bad quality and the style not suiting my face shape that was the issue.

A main reason that I wanted to get this style is that I have been made fun of in the past for having bad hairstyles and wanted to get my hair done in a salon so that people would stop making fun of my hair. This has backfired majorly but I was able to buy a lace front that I could use for school.

The issue here is that when I got the hair done my mom made it clear that i needed to keep it in for atleast 2 months. However my mom lives abroad and won't be coming to visit for a while so I could get away with taking out the sew in and using the lace front but I feel really bad that I would essentially have wasted all of that money. So my issue here is either I take out the hair and feel morally guilty or keep it in and be made fun of at school.

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/New-Profession-6849 on 2024-01-05 01:56:18+00:00.

I (25F) work in a medium sized high-rise tower with around 12 floors. This morning I was walking into the building as normal, got into the elevator, and pressed the button for my floor. Just as the door was about to shut, a man stops the door and joins me in the elevator. He got in my face and sarcastically said something to the effect of, “thanks for holding the door for me, it must have taken a lot out of you“.

I had no idea this guy was behind me or approaching the elevators at all. I was startled when he hopped in because I genuinely thought I was alone. Although it’s the nice thing to do, even if I had seen him behind me, it’s not like I have an obligation to hold the elevator door for him whatsoever.

Anyway, I gave him a confused and irritated look after his comments and kept quiet. When his floor arrived, he got off the elevator and said, “well whatever’s causing you to be this way, I hope your day gets better.” When all I’ve done at this point is fail to hold the door for someone I didn’t even see coming and give them a puzzled look about it when confronted. I replied, “I hope yours does too” which angered him and he went off on some tirade about holding the door again. I told him “I didn’t even see you”, which he scoffed at and then said “whatever” as he walked out of the elevator. As he walked away I told him to fuck off, loud enough to where he probably heard me.

Reddit, was I the asshole in this situation? I get I shouldn’t have resorted to vitriol and I feel bad about it, but who confronts a stranger like that first thing in the morning? Am I tripping or was that interaction completely unwarranted?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Taeis on 2024-01-05 01:56:01+00:00.

My s.o. and I went grocery shopping earlier this week. I planned meals and bought specific ingredients needed for those meals. My s.o. had the day off today and decided to cook dinner. He used ingredients intended for other recipes and while I’m appreciative of him cooking, I also wish he had just asked me before doing it because I had specific things planned.

I wasn’t going to say anything, but he could tell something was up and asked me so I explained that I appreciated him cooking, but wished he had talked to me before going ahead and doing it. He got upset and told me he should just be able to cook us dinner without me being annoyed. He also stated that ANY level of annoyance negates the appreciation that I had for him cooking and essentially called me an asshole for being annoyed about the ingredients.

I was just trying to explain that I understand it’s slightly unreasonable to be annoyed that he cooked dinner on its face, but that I had a specific reason for being annoyed and overall I appreciate the effort, I just wish he had communicated. He doesn’t believe he should have to communicate that he’s going to cook dinner. But I wouldn’t cook without mentioning it to him and confirming what I am making.

So am I the asshole?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Cool_Sand_294 on 2024-01-05 01:53:05+00:00.

EDIT: I think the reason it bothers me is bc it’s a shared space and I feel like it’s a bit gross and rude. If it was a private bathroom, I think that would be different.

Throwaway account. I (30) live in a 2 br 1 ba home with another guy (29), let’s call him Joe. Joe and I have known each other for a few years and recently decided to live together for lots of practical reasons. So far he has been a considerate and reasonable housemate, and I try to be the same.

I own the house. Let’s say my mortgage is $1000/month. Joe pays me $500 for rent every month. I do not charge Joe any extra $ for utilities (water, energy, trash, internet).

Joe has a girl who he frequently hangs out with, but has made it clear that he has no interest in actually dating her, or being in any form of serious partnership with her. She seems nice enough. I noticed recently that she will sometimes be in his room in the mornings when I wake up (I can hear a female voice), but she wasn’t there when we went to sleep. Idk why she comes over at like 6am and then leaves a few hours later but whatever that’s not my business.

This morning I woke up late and heard the shower turn on, and then heard multiple footsteps and heard the shower curtain open/close a few times. The shower continues. I hear someone open the bathroom door and walk back to Joe’s bedroom, and someone else is still in the shower.

Look. Idk what they’re doing in there… but it just sorta weirded me out.

1, we only have 1 bathroom in the entire house. So, whatever they’re doing in there, it’s happening in my shower, too. Yuck.

2, hence the 1 bathroom, they’re taking a long time in there. It feels a bit unfair to monopolize the only bathroom, especially in the mornings when I am trying to get ready for work.

3, I pay utilities. I don’t really feel like paying more in water because she wants to shower here, too. Go shower at your own house. Especially when you came over in the morning. You didn’t sleep over.

I was toying with the idea of bringing it up to Joe and essentially asking him not to take showers with her since I think it’s kinda gross and rude. But, I recognize that it’s his life. He should be allowed to do romantic things with her. He pays rent, he should get the privileges of this being his home, too. Idk. I’m torn. WIBTA? Maybe I can ask them not to shower together on weekdays at least, so I’m not stuck waiting to brush my teeth before I need to leave for work?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Senior-Fact3971 on 2024-01-05 01:51:37+00:00.

I Grayson (m 16) and my friend Max (m17) this winter break he stayed at my house all week during this week I thought he was acting weird like more awkward and closed off, but I didn't think much off it. The night of new years he was writing in his notes app like crazy (he only does this to vent) I didn't say anything but tried to make him happy by watching his favorite movies and listening to his favorite music, that same night he was crying to the song burn from Hamilton which is abnormal because we listen to that song all the time it being one of my favorites from the sound track. I asked him what was wrong but he brushed it off, after that we started watching a movie and he was pouting in the corning where my bed meets the wall so i asked again what was wrong. He said "I want to tell you something but my brain says it logical and NY heart tells me no" Max is very emotional and makes things that aren't a big deal to me a great deal to him. I told him "I'm willing to listen whenever and you should listen to your brain" he told me he didn't want to say it and pulled out his phone to show me a note he asked, "should I show you the first one or the one from last night?" I said,"Probably last night?" He scrolled a bit then showed me the last not he wrote it basically said "I have feelings for Grayson and its weird because he's my brother I don't want them" after I read it I kinda just looked at him then said "buddy it's ok i don't care this doesn't mean anything to me" after a moment of talking he said he was gonna go to bed i asked if he just wanted to go home for the night and he said "no! I do not want to go home." I told him that's fine but it's 7:30 so he probably shouldn't sleep yet and he said I was right and played on his phone while he played on his phone I texted my friend and asked if I should tell Max to leave because "his emotionalness is weirding me out" my friend said "if you want him to leave then tell him too" so I told hi to leave and he got mad and went home after I dropped him off I talked to my friend cylus (F17) about it and she said he was immature but I should apologize for making him leave so

AITA?

Edit: I messaged him about something, and he hasn't responded When I said, "I know you see my messages, please reply," he said, "I don't want to talk to anyone right now."

Max has done things like this before but never to me and all my friends say they knew he likes me for a long time but I didn't notice

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ThrowRArecalibrate on 2024-01-05 01:49:18+00:00.

I'm a single mom to my 2 kids( 13M, 16F). My biggest regret is that I wasn't physically there for my kids while they were growing up. What my mindset was, if I work mega hours, I'll climb up the corporate ladder that much faster, and then we'll be set. This resulted in was my kids eating a lot of fast food, junk food, takeout, delivery, everything like that.

Their doctor gave me warnings about their weight, but, I was deaf to it.

A few nights ago, I was watching TV with my kids and I noticed how much of a real chore it was for him to just get off the couch. He had to do a lot of this scooting, and then using a side table to hoist himself up. It was a huge, huge red flag.

A few minutes later, I noticed my daughter having this bowl of popcorn and she has a good portion of her belly popping out of her shirt. She kept having to tug on this shirt so it'd cover her full stomach. This made me think about all these recents times where she's made comments in passing about her shirt feeling snug or her pants are too tight.

I went to bed that night shell-shocked I now have a son who is very out of shape, and a daughter getting too big for her clothes, clothes she bought fairly recently.

Last night I went to dinner with a friend and I think she could clearly tell something was wrong. She asked me to open up to her. I just bluntly said that my kids are fat and that it has me worried about their health. I told her about my experience watching TV and she agreed that my son is quite out of shape and that my daughter is clearly becoming too big too quickly. That being said, she said that my labeling them as fat was callous.

AITA?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Pola_Bear_ on 2024-01-05 01:48:23+00:00.

This person and I used to be friends, then one day it just changed, I don't recall anything I did that might have done to make her upset, hell, we hardly even talked, then one day she decided to make it her mission to make sure I know she thinks very very poorly.

After almost a month of the treatment I told her I was fed up of it. She didn't have much of a reaction at the time, however not to long after a get a DM from another one of my friends.

Said friend tells me how the person that now hates me has been ranting to them about how much I suck. I don't really care to be honest but the highlight of what she said was this.

"basically told me that he doesnt care to hear the full extent of everything I dislike about him, which is like a major dick move"

I just need a peace of mind for this because I'm starting to actually believe that I might be in the wrong here.