Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/imtheworstperson123 on 2024-01-05 01:47:28+00:00.

I'm a female and I'm in the earlier part of my teens. I definitely hung around the wrong crowd in middle school and was introduced to vaping before I knew what 2 x 2 was. I first starting vaping as a status symbol. It made me look older. I then started vaping because it 'helped my anxiety'. I picked at my skin and it was something for my hands to do. Then I started vaping because I 'just liked the flavor'. Now I'm vaping because of the nicotine.

I had a friend over the other day and I really couldn't stop vaping. I ended up finishing a new bar in a couple hours (Bad). My friend had made on and off comments like "You look stupid" or "The room is so smokey" (She had been hitting it too). When I said that I finished it, she gave me a big long talk about how she knew people that have died from smoking, and she doesn't want to see me die too. I responded with "I'm not dying anytime soon."

This week she apparently had talked to all my friends and said she was planning on cutting me off as a friend because of my vaping. She also tried to convince my friends that they should stop hanging out with me as well.

I know people who have died from smoking. I know a lot of people. I've seen my voice go deeper and raspier. I feel like a loser, but I can't stop it. I have no reason to stop vaping.

Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/MyExistentialCrisisx on 2024-01-05 01:46:58+00:00.

My roommate I think is mad at me cuz I was barking at her dog and then eventually I yelled at it to shut up. Am I being an asshole to her puppy?

It’s a huskie puppy and it’s so freaking loud. However she doesn’t keep him in her room when she’s gone. I’m also not allowed to touch the dog when she’s gone not like I want to either it bites. But today I got home, if you look at my previous AITA post it’s my doctor sterile clean roommate that everyone thinks has ocd. So if you read that yea here’s an update. She got a puppy.

When I got home from my job tonight, she wasn’t home. Or so I thought. She had the dog locked away in the LIVING ROOM LIKE IT HAS BEEN FOR THE LAST WEEK. It barks so loud and I was just trying to eat my dinner in the living room cuz it’s something I didn’t want to take to my room cuz it was a messy food.

Well at one point it bark such a loud high pitched bark in its series of machine gun barks and it busted my eardrum. And I got angry because I couldn’t hear all of a sudden and my ear felt fuzzy and all I heard was a ringing noise in my ear. So I barked like twice at it and then cry yelled “will you please shut the FK UP!” And then I angry screamed and grabbed my food and took it to my room anyway and I still couldn’t hear. She said she’d start putting the dog in her room and that was three days ago. I can hear the dog barking from the PARKING LOT. LIKE LOUD AND CLEAR. From the PARKING LOT YOU HAVE TO WALK TO!!!

I went out to get water and I said hi to my roommate and she just looks so mad at me. Maybe I’m still just angry but AITAH? If so I’ll go apologize but I’m tired of not being able to nap, sleep, or even be in the living room. She still wants me to start cleaning but I am NOT going to clean if that dog is gonna keep popping my eardrums. I’m going deaf to start the stupid dishwasher she’s ran twice already.

Edit: also before anyone gives me suggestions, I know. I’m looking at other apartments right now I’m so tired of everything being her way or the highway. But until then I am just miserable and I know I have shorter patience and all I want to do is isolate. And when I can’t like today I just so frustrated. It’s like i can’t relax in my own appt.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/The_Cubing_Guy on 2024-01-05 01:45:42+00:00.

AITA for asking my friend for more money than what he’s giving me from what he’s selling (2 airsoft guns)? he’s selling an AEG and a cheap spring pistol for £165 in total He says he’s giving me somewhere from £15-£30. The problem is that the AEG he’s selling is mine that i lent to him for a couple of days as he wanted to plink in his backyard. He then told me he was unable to drop it off at my house again, and again. After a couple of weeks he then says that he’s planning on selling my AEG (The springer i gifted him a year prior so im fine with that) I have since gotten a new AEG so i don’t need the old one back as it would consume more than desired space in my flat.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/the_dark_noodle on 2024-01-05 01:45:28+00:00.

Hi!

We own a pitbull mix who is super sweet with people, but scared of other dogs (she had a wound on her back when we adopted her, so we think she was attacked) Because of this, she can get pretty freaked out and reactive if she isn't introduced to other dogs in the right way, which we are working on. For my birthday, we decided to stay in a town a couple hours away. I found an airbnb listing that had a porch with a private backyard and allowed dogs. I messaged the owner asking if it was okay to bring my pitbull with us and she approved. We arrived at nighttime and when I let my dog out of the car, the woman stepped back and gave my dog a disgusted look saying "you didn't tell me she'd be that pitbullish"

She showed us to our room and told us to let our dog into the private backyard. Keep in mind, it's nighttime in the countryside ... and the lights for the backyard aren't working so it's DARK. Suddenly we see two huge dark masses pressing up against the chain link fence (I thought they were two small bears at first). My dog goes insane barking and growling at something I can barely see. I quickly grab her and the airbnb host is furious. Apparently, the 'private' backyard shares a chainlink fence with her two large rottweilers that live outside. It takes me forever to calm my dog down once we get back inside. She sits inside our room, blocking the door for about an hour, telling us about the "history of pitbull aggression" and why I shouldn't travel with my 'aggressive' dog. I told her we've stayed in several hotels and airbnbs without issue in the past and she rolled her eyes.

When we get home, I see that she has reviewed me on airbnb and said my dog's "explosive aggression" left her and her dogs "shaken and terrified". She also sent me a personal message calling my dog a bitch.

AITA for bringing my reactive dog to her Airbnb?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/basil421 on 2024-01-05 01:44:00+00:00.

My ex and I broke up a few months ago, the last 5 months of our relationship were honestly really shitty. They did not treat me well, and they are very aware of how much they hurt me. I dont hate them, but I dont exactly like them either. We are in no contact and I would like it to stay that way.

We happen to share a mutual friend, which is completely fine.

A month ago my ex sent a picture to our friend to send to me. It was an inside joke between my ex and I. I told my friend it was extremely weird(of my ex) and not to be the messenger because it makes me uncomfortable.

Anyways, my friend just came to me and said that my ex wanted me to send them photos of art they had made me because they want it for an art portfolio for some kind of job application. I do not want to be involved or dig up old memories. And I feel like in a way I would be breaking no contact.

A few things:

1. I know my ex has MORE than enough art without me being involved that they could submit in their portfolio
2. I know they are in contact with a previous ex, who I am sure has old art that she could send them
3. They could literally just make more art
4. The amount of art theyve made for me is extremely small and not very significant. I doubt it will make a difference in their portfolio. Its literally just tiny little drawings.
5. I am tired of them using our friend to weirdly connect with me.

Basically, I dont want to dig through old boxes and open up letters and art and take pictures for them. I feel like I am valid, but I am curious to know if maybe I am just being an ass or difficult… tyia<3

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Kate1114 on 2024-01-05 01:43:25+00:00.

I just started with a great company, that is paying me a fair wage and good benefits.

My last company paid about the same and I had much more flexibility to work a looser schedule. I was able to go home when work was slow, staying on call in case of incident or injury (safety manager) Unfortunately the entire division was laid off, so here I am at this new job.

When bringing me on, the offer switched from salary to hourly, back to salary. This is a large construction project, with a tight deadline. I had a feeling overtime would be imminent, but was assured it wasn’t a possibility for a while.

Here I am 3 weeks into the project, we’re already into 4 10’s and a 8, and the possibility of split shifts is now being thrown around.

When asked if I would stay, I said yes, if I were switched to hourly. But I made it clear the salary expectation for myself was on a 40hr schedule when I was hired.

The expectation for a safety professional is to be on site in case of injury, but I feel like I was deceived. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/69ThatGuyy on 2024-01-05 01:40:58+00:00.

I think this post belongs here. My girlfriend of over 2 years now has consistently had this... trait. She's very open about jealousy issues, specifically surrounding me and other girls. She claims this is from "past relations", but I doubt it since both of those took place all the way back in early high-school, anyways. She's always had an issue with me and other girls, things as simple as a girl looking at me in public or me having them on my snapchat/tik tok feed. I've had to delete Tik Tok specifically because she was worried about the 1 in 10 times a girl would pop up on my fyp. I've had to block girls on snapchat who I've been friends with since elementary, even though we haven't spoken since then (which only cements my curiosity of her concern of them). Now all these behaviors and more are fair to an extent, I love her and im aware these are just traits of care and worry of losing me, which are fine. But she's never had to do the same, she has guys on her snapchat, even if they are guys from highschool... which she hasn't spoken to since. That doesn't really bug me though, it's how she interacts with MY friends...

I have 2 friends and we rarely get to hangout due to busy lives, so we have a GC that we often chat in, and my girlfriend infiltrated this group a while back. And she is constantly starting fights and arguments, small and large with them. And then she proceeds to wine to me because I don't stand up to her when she literally started the fight. And if she isn't doing that she's chatting with them, sending stupid memes and talking about common interests. This hasnt been a concern to me because ik both of them very well, and I'm aware this has been said but I am beyond confident nothing slimey will happen between them. To me it's purely the principle, I don't care for what she expects of me, I'm doing better without tik tok and the girls I've blocked meant nothing to me before or after I blocked them. It's just wierd how she interacts with my friend as if she's entitled to being included.

BTW I never interact with her friends, one of them and I have common interests in games, TV, and hobbies, I'm fact she was my friend when we were much younger and due to a 2 year age difference we just drifted apart. Point is I never interact with them because surely if I did I'd be reprimanded by either my girlfriend or themselves,

Am I the a-hole for thinking these interactions because my girlfriend and my friends are wierd?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/mlg_Kaiser on 2024-01-05 01:40:14+00:00.

For context: We are from the Midwest and are planning a road trip to California which is about a 24 hour drive. One person, person B is annoying by means of his ego and hanging out with him can be frustrating because of this. However, he is not a bad guy a being despite being annoying, at the end of the day we are his only friends (despite him claiming otherwise.) We do not have any merit to remove him from our group because he hasn't done anything problematic and it would be mean despite his reputation

Another person, person M, is a lot closer to us. We've hung out with him more, and gone on a road trip with him in the past. He is a nice guy, though he is very difficult to convince to take one for the team. This often results in his needs getting special treatment. He always gets a better bed, rides shotgun, etc. (Granted, we don't do anything to stop this). Normally this is fine, as his demands are usually fairly mild. But this time he's proving to be a problem.

person B said that he wanted to come with us on this trip - we have no real reason to turn him down other than that he is annoying, however this reason is flimsy.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Repulsive_Baker8292 on 2024-01-05 01:38:16+00:00.

I live in a luxury apartment building with a concierge. There are package lockers for Amazon and other deliveries as well as an oversized/overflow package room. Sometimes these get overfilled and packages get left with the concierge.

There are multiple concierges who rotate shifts. All but one are super chill and friendly. I order packages and tend to pick them up within 1-4 days, which depends on whether I am out of town or not at home. Usually, these go to the lockers but sometimes to the concierge. Occasionally the concierge will call me to pick up packages immediately if there is an overflow, which I do.

There is one concierge who gets very upset when packages are left with her for more than a few hours. She will approach me when I leave the building and ask me to take my packages, even if they have arrived within the last few hours and I clearly have my hands full or am rushing to catch a flight. She is overtly rude and aggressive if I say I will pick them up later. This is to the point I feel uncomfortable walking through the lobby when she is there.

AITA for expecting that I can pick up packages on my own time, assuming this is within a reasonable period (like a few days)? When I moved into the building I toured the package locker system and package room and was told that is how packages are handled.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/confusedbutnotpreg on 2024-01-05 01:35:06+00:00.

I feel silly posting this but it’s bothering me and I know everyone I might ask about this is a little bit of a yesman.

Tonight my friends scheduled a group facetime for 8PM. I (M19) said “maybe” in response to the proposal because I knew I might not be in a great mood then. My friend then proceeded to share in the groupchat she intends to get “closure lunch” with her ex that was not good to her.

I concluded that I probably would not want to sit and listen to her talk about bad decision making (I openly stated my disdain for her choice) and began to think that my maybe was about to be a “no.”

Around 7:10PM, they decided they would be facetiming early, and my choice was solidified by them saying “(name) get on call” rather than just asking where I was. I could be in a sensitive mood, but it felt very rude to assume I would be willing to drop everything to attend almost an hour early. I said “I dont want to 🫡”

Was my response appropriate and am I the asshole? Is there an asshole? Thanks.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/sweet_tooth_idiot on 2024-01-05 01:33:49+00:00.

I grew up being the fat (bmi 29) sister, but I was very close to my sister, 11 older than me, even though I was constantly compared to her - and had my self esteem destroyed because I was fat and "hideous" in her eyes. We would spend a BUNCH of time together. Beside all the odds, I really liked to be by her side.

Around 2016, everyone knew how I loved my waist length hair, including my sister that was sitting in a sofa in front of me saying that short hair was way prettier and that long haired girls were ugly. Two weeks after that, she proposed to take care of my hair and I happily accepted. She then proceeded to say that she would only cut the ends, when she actually was planning on cutting my hair by half. As she did, she showed the hair in her hands and, as a mature 25yo at the time, begin to laugh in my face saying there was nothing I could do about it. Not even 3 days later, she was praising her colleague's hair, that was knee length, and that she would love to grew hers, as her hair were shoulder length. And she did! Never saw her cutting hers since.

In 2021, she fought with my mom about a stretch mark I got, saying "she is already fat and hideous, she will never get a boyfriend if she keep it in her, is disgusting" all in front of me, as she proceeded to tell my mom other concerning stuff I should do 'cause of it. In 2022 I decided I was going to get skinnier, since that statement of hers made me really sad.

I'm now maintaining bmi 19 for 2 years but she doesn't seen quite happy with it, as she gained some pounds over this 2 years I've lost mine - I can guess 23lbs. There was once a occurrence that she told my cousin that she wanted to lose the weight, even though, after I lost weight, she kept saying that I should accept "real bodies" and embrace being fat again. She is still not fat, but I feel like she isn't satisfied with not being the skinnier sister anymore.

She demanded me to eat the sushi she didn't want and tried to toss her hot roll portions into my plate once. All of sudden she begin to buy me 2 high cal snacks every three days. I used to accept it, but after I refuse once, she felt offended and angry. It is an odd behavior I'm not used to, since she had never bought snacks to me before I lost weight and, in fact, hid the snacks she bought in her room so I wouldn't eat it - as I would.

Now she keeps saying to the WHOLE FAMILY that I'm starving myself, as she is blaming my mom for my "starvation"; calling her unresponsible and telling her I'm going to die and it is going to be her fault. She is making my mom really sad. As well, she is trying to convince relatives to convince my mom that she should get me fat, and my mom constantly receive calls about it, as I am receiving "worried statements" of my family every now and then when I visit.

She constantly asks for me to spend some time with her, as she said I've decided to abandon her, but I'm scared of her making our gaming nights, as an example, be about my looks.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Routine-Insect7209 on 2024-01-05 01:33:26+00:00.

My wife was bitten by our dog today. It was the 4th or 5th fight he has been in. He has been super aggressive with food and any dominant behavior towards him. We both and our dogs have been injured by him multiple times now, and I don't want this dog around anymore. We also have a 3 year old child who just touches the dog and he will growl at our son. My wife wants to put a muzzle on him when he is around any other thing besides me and her. I am trying to be understanding to my wife but I want to get rid of this dog for the safety of our family.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/1dkwhat-to-put-here on 2024-01-05 01:31:58+00:00.

I just transferred to a new school. Mind you, I was at the previous school basically my whole life, so this was a big change for me. Obviously, I have no friends at this new school, and I'm socially awkward, so it's hard for me to open up to new people. I've been feeling really lonely, so I try to hang out with my old friends any time I can, but my mom won't even let me text them. My mom took away all my electronics because she thinks it's the reason for every problem in my life, but that's not even the reason I'm mad. Her taking away every way to contact my friends made me feel so in the dark, and every time my friends ask her if I'm available to hang out, my mom never tells me about any of this and either leaves them on read or just says I'm not available without even telling me about it. I was left thinking that my friends weren't even reaching out to me. I only found out a couple days ago when I snook my phone back to check in on them. I also rarely go out with anyone. I can never hang out, I feel like my teen years are being stolen from me. Every time I go online, I see my whole friend group hanging out without me and im not even told about it. It's happening to the point where I don't even ask to hang out with friends anymore because I already know she's going to say no. I already told her how I felt, and she just does not care. My friend ships with people are only limited to school because i can never hang out outside of school and im never there for their special moments, like their birthdays or anything. I feel like if this goes on for any longer, I will lose my friendships with all my best friends because its not like i can see them in school anymore

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Relative-Guarantee94 on 2024-01-04 21:39:34+00:00.

There’s this girl, May (F16), in my (M16) biology class. She sits right in front of me, so we interact daily. If exhaustion were a person, it would be her. Let me explain: throughout the year, I have always been very polite to May, as I am with everyone else. I like giving people positive affirmations and consider myself to be a high-energy person.

But then there’s May. She just sucks the energy right out of me. She is difficult, to say the least, and seems to dislike me for whatever reason. We are often placed in the same small group to work on in-class assignments. In these conversations, she regularly disregards whatever I say or rolls her eyes whenever I make a point. The most irritating thing she does is interrupt me while looking me straight in the eye. I can confidently say I’ve ignored all of this and have remained polite to May.

Actual things that I’ve said to her include “That’s a really smart idea, May,” and then her literal response was “It’s called being competent; do you know what that means?” Another time, I said something like “Hi, May! You look really nice today,” and she said, “Thanks, you almost look average today.” On top of this, like 40% of the jokes she tells end with me being the butt of them. These instances are on a good day; on a bad day, she’s snappy as hell, and I avoid conversation.

So yesterday, after biology, one of May’s friends, Susan (F16), came up to me and asked if I wanted to go with her and May and chill at a nearby café. Despite Susan being good friends with May, I like Susan; she’s cool. However, for obvious reasons, I declined. Susan accepted this, and I saw her walk up to May, but I didn’t stick around since the bell rang.

When I was at my locker, May and Susan walked up to me. May then told me that she wanted me to go with her and Susan to a café. I wasn’t in the mood to deal with her, so I kind of just laughed and said something along the lines of, “LOL, why would I wanna do that?” I’m deadass not lying when I say this girl started pouting and almost begging me to come along. I then said something like “I don’t think being with you for longer than 80 min would be good for my health.” I said it sarcastically, but it worked since she then stopped bugging me.

That evening, I was texting Susan, and she happened to mention that May was pretty upset that I didn’t go with them. I just responded with the 🤷‍♂️ emoji, and Susan then sent the 😬 one. She then suggested that I apologize to May since she was very disappointed. She even suggested that I make up some excuse for why I didn’t come along, but I declined all this.

Later, on my friend’s group chat, one of them mentioned how word of May being upset about me not wanting to go had reached him. This one friend also said I should apologize since she was apparently really upset (according to his gf), but I refused and said that I’d just act like nothing happened.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/No_pomegranate0110 on 2024-01-04 21:35:18+00:00.

I 35f, have been with my husband 39 for 7 years. I have raised his 13yo daughter during that time, I got into this relationship knowing that I would and have loved doing so. He has sole custody of her. Her mom walked out when she was 3 and has very limited visitation with her (2 hours every three weeks or sometimes more time between. Her mom cancels visits, we never cancel her visitation). Truthfully, the only reason she isn’t adopted by me is because her mom is still alive and would never allow it.

My parents, brother and my family all live in different states and we infrequently see each other. Eg, my dad and I haven’t seen my brother in years, my mom visits myself and bro at least once a year. I have seen my dad this year since baby was born but hadn’t seen him in a few years. My parents are together but have separate travel/vacation priorities.

My mum has a really good relationship with our teen. My husband and I also have a newborn baby. My dad has spent a while with my newborn, and hasn’t ever tried to form a relationship with our teen.

I have one sibling. A brother with two sons (2 & newborn) , my mother visits them every few months. My dad has met one of the sons once and never met the other.

My parents recently told my brother and I about their will. They specifically stated that in the case of my brother or I dying, our inheritance goes down our bloodlines. Meaning that, despite me considering my SD as my child, she wouldn’t be guaranteed any of my inheritance. Of course, if I was alive and I inherited first, her and my bio daughter would inherit half each.

I understand inheritance isn’t owed, however I want to ensure both of my children are taken care of.

AITA for being upset that my step daughter isn’t guaranteed any inheritance if I die before my parents do?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Character_Award_1961 on 2024-01-04 21:30:43+00:00.

I feel like a POS, no question there. But anyways, my step daughter is 12. Her name is Hannah and she is a beautiful, brilliant girl. The only issue I have is that she respects zero boundaries. I have half a mind to say she acts slightly entitled (ie: if you tell her no, it's met with a "actually you're going to say yes because I'm a princess" and she laughs when she says it so I think she's joking but she's actually serious. When she realizes you won't budge, she stomps off to her room and rolls her eyes at you and gives you the silent treatment). Other than this, she's a gem.

Well, a little over two weeks ago a lot of my state flooded (Maine, if you're interested). The first floor of our home was filled with water, as we were right beside the river. Everything upstairs was untouched but everything downstairs (living room, nursery, my bedroom, kitchen) was destroyed. By the time we were able to go see our home, the amount of black mold already growing was ridiculous. My step daughters room was upstairs so she didn't lose anything. My husband and I had to start from scratch on all of our clothing and our 3 month old daughters clothing. And given that we were just blowing so much money on a hotel, we were more broke than we ever had been. We reached out to local churches and thankfully we were given a small bag of clothes and diaper help for our daughter but my husband and I have been hand washing the 2 sets of clothes we have for ourselves. Insurance hasn't kicked in yet but we did finally get a voucher provided by the state for our hotel stay and food so we are slowly starting to get better financially.

Well, ever since we got that small bag of clothes from the church (4 outfits and 2 onesies) my step daughter has been taking those clothes and putting them on her dolls/stuffed animals despite us telling her to stop. And then today (after literally 8-10 discussions) I found that she had actually cut up one of the onesies to fit her teddy bear better. I lost it. I told her she was selfish and inconsiderate. That she didn't take the time to listen to her father and I or our reasoning and that she's knowingly destroying her sisters needed items for her own gain. She immediately started crying and slammed the door. I DID apologize. Absolutely. She's a fucking kid and I just lost my shit out of anger. But I told my husband because I felt like a POS and he said he will never forgive me. He told me to go stay with my mom for awhile (out of state) while he figures stuff out for him and his daughter because I'm "unsafe" to be around. AITA?

ETA: the events in my post are 100% what happened. There's no other hidden happenings. I think this was 100% a stress induced outburst on his part because he lost everything in the flood (his brothers urn, his mom's paintings, his guitars, gaming consoles, $8k+ in electronics, etc) but I didn't have much to lose outside of clothing and my drawings. He had just yelled at her 3 days prior for taking the babies diapers and using them on her dolls, so he's by no means perfect and should have understood my frustrations but he says he's allowed to lash out, I'm not. He said it makes him not trust me around his kid. But no, nothing else happened. He wouldn't have even known if I hadn't told him because my step daughter had forgotten all about it by the time he had gotten home and her and I were watching TV together. Again, I did apologize to her before I even told her dad what happened.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Impossible_Move_2944 on 2024-01-04 21:20:52+00:00.

i (f18) have decently affluent parents. my brother who is five years younger than me, has always been the favorite child. it’s because of this i’ve learned that jealousy doesn’t get you anywhere. anyways, my brothers birthday is a couple weeks before mine. for his birthday this year my parents showered him with expensive gifts, things he didn’t even ask for. i noticed that he got some gifts that i had asked for, and was a little confused.

in total my parents had ended up spending over three thousand dollars on birthday gifts for him. it was because of this i thought that they might have gotten me some nice gifts as well.

i was really excited for my birthday because not only was it my big 18 but i would get to see my friends who i hadn’t seen in months.

the morning of my birthday, my best friend ended up backing out of hanging out because she wanted to visit her boyfriend. i was very understanding because she doesn’t get to see him often, but they had just spent a full two weeks together so i was a little upset but pushed through my feelings because i figured it didn’t matter in the long run.

after we hung out, my family brought out dinner and then eventually gifts.

i noticed that there was only two presents on the table and thought maybe they just hadn’t brought theirs out as both gifts were from my younger brother.

i am very grateful for my little brother and love him very much, but he got me a pillow and pimple patches which was a little underwhelming considering i had bought him concert tickets for his birthday , and he told me he was going to splurge for mine.

my other sibling didn’t get me anything. my parents came out with a box and i figured they had gotten me what i had asked for but instead they just gave me a t shirt and said that if i wanted they had an extra ticket to one of their favorite bands and i could come.

i am not a spoiled or selfish person but in that moment i felt like a huge asshole for being upset. i stayed around for a few more minutes but then retreated to my room. they didn’t notice for a half hour.

my mom came into my room where i was noticeably upset and asked me why i was so upset and i just let it all out.

i told her that these actions made me feel like she didn’t care about me as much as she cared about my other siblings and i missed when i was younger and she used to go all out for my birthdays and then this year not a balloon, not a streamer, not a smile. just a t shirt and a half assed invite. she blamed my dad and said she felt bad, but then made no effort to change what had happened. she never replaced the gift, she never got me anything else.

i am frustrated with my parents and i feel bad because i really love them and don’t want to make them feel bad but i don’t know if im right in this situation? am i the asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/77AZM on 2024-01-04 21:18:51+00:00.

Me, my husband and my mother rent a house that my grandmother owns. We all pay rent here equally. My brother stays at our house too while in college. We agreed to let my aunt use our house as a meeting point for my niece’s father’s family to see her once in a while. Our house is in the middle of everyone and my mom plays a mediator roll for their visits. Everytime they have used our house, one of us 3 renters were home. Side note: my aunt and niece live with my grandmother. Over the Holidays my mom went out of town with my grandmother. So it was just me and my husband home. My aunt called me and said that she “might” have my nieces family come over on Wednesday. There was no time or details told to me. Either way, I told her that no one would be home on Wednesday because of work and a party we had to go to at night. I asked her to call my mom to see when she would be back from her trip. Since she would most likely be home Wednesday sometime. My aunt said “ok”. And that was the end of the conversation.

On Wednesday, my husband and I went to work. We locked up the house like a normal day. Then I get a txt from my aunt asking why the garage door was locked. I advised her that no one was home. She said “you knew I was coming here so why would you lock the door”. I was so confused by this because I had told her that no one was going to be home. She then blew up at me saying that she had made plans with me to use the house and said I need to take it up with my landlord since she was told she can use the house as a meeting place. She called my mom and told her that I locked her out on purpose. Then went and got a house key from my brother. My husband txted our house group chat asking us why she was at our house with other people while no one was home. My mom said she didn’t know what was going on since she was out of town. My mom said that aunt txted her that she was going to be there on Wednesday, but my mom told her she needed to talk to me and my husband about it first.

My aunt sent me some nasty messages telling me that my perception of reality is off. And I am going against the agreement she had with my mom. I advised her that she is able to use our house if one of us is home. She now has my grandmother mad at me tellin her that I am being mean to her. I showed my mom and my husband the messages that were exchanged. They both agreed that I handled the situation with respect. My aunt was the one being rude to me. My grandmother thinks my aunt can come and go as she wants with strangers at our house since she is family and my grandmother owns the house. My mom, husband and I think this was very rude of my aunt and we do not want strangers in our home when we are not there even though my aunt will be there. We are renters there so it should be up to us. So AITA for not letting her use our house while we’re not there and expecting an apology before she does use it again?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Terrible-Reasons on 2024-01-04 21:09:05+00:00.

I (37F) have shared a close bond with my younger cousin (24NB), and we've had numerous long conversations about life, goals, politics...you name it really. However, over the past year, I've had to address their habit of treating me like a daily journal, venting without considering my busy schedule. Despite my efforts to set boundaries, they continued to overstep and even bombarded me with messages during a family vacation. Ive been pretty busy with work, plus some side hussles, taking care of my mom with COPD when my dad cant be there, trying to help my aunt out while shes going through treatmenr for cancer and when I do have spare time I usually want to spend it with my husband or be a blanket burrito. Most of my free time outside of these things is at gatherings where I could visit with multiple friends or family at once in one spot.

I had some friends my age over for a get together and photos of this were posted on facebook. My cousin saw the photos and this initiated a paragraph long text about feeling excluded and how they dont think im "as busy as I say I am". I didnt really know how to respond, since it was just a blanket statement about their feelings and an assumption anout my life, so I just said ok. They kept pressing the issue about it and how I wasnt making enough time for them, so I finally just told them flat that they were not a priortiy and I had other things going on.

This hurt their feelings, and they gave me the silent treatment for a month. Then got even more mad at me that I wasnt upset they werent talking to me. They kept telling me over and over how hurt they were by me, and I basically was like the truth hurts. I dont know what else to say. If it comes down to my husband, my mom, my job & my mental health...no they are not a priority. I dont think this is something I need to apologize for. So now they dont want to talk to me at all, stating they dont want a relationship with someone who doesnt care about their feelings. AITA here ?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Due-Carpenter-2697 on 2024-01-04 20:32:51+00:00.

My (19f) grandparents are celebrating 50 years of marriage this year and have invited the whole family to go with them on a cruise for a family reunion. That means all six of their children and their extended family (roughly 125 people) are going on a week-long vacation in March.

I adore my grandparents but have a complicated relationship with my parents. In short, they're incredibly emotionally immature and care entirely too much about how they appear to others and not enough about how we as a family are functioning. Because of this, one of my older sister's, Brittany (20f), has fallen into addiction. Though I've tried my best to help her, without the support of my parents there's very little I can actually do.

They told me it was my responsibility to take care of her, so when she lost everything after her DUI my senior year in high school, I completely rearranged my life to cater to her. I stayed home my first year of college and took her to and from all of her appointments, took her to work and school, etc. I sacrificed my life so that it looked like our family was functioning even though we weren't.

Unfortunately with addiction, there's always the chance of relapse and my sister relapsed hard. She OD and I found her and had to rush her to the hospital. Still, my parents refused reasonable help. So, I stopped doing everything and decided to go to the school of my dreams and live my own life. After a week of having to actually parent, I got the "apology" call and the request to support her again. I denied them, and have 100% been independent since.

Which brings us back to the cruise.

Last week my parents called to inform me that I'm expected to go on this cruise and pay for everything myself- which is fine. I'm adult. However, I was not expecting to pay for Brittany. My parents said without reliable transportation, she's been unable to maintain a steady income and it's my fault for moving away, so it's reasonable for me to pay for her and have her pay me back. I told them no and asked why they couldn't. Turns out, in addition to paying for my younger sister Callie (16f), they've also decided to pay for my nieces (2f, 3f, 5f) and two step sisters (28f, 24f). I double downed- I'm paying for my own school and don't want to dip into my savings when I know I won't get paid back. But now I'm getting non-stop hate messages from the rest of the family. I don't think I'm being unreasonable, but with my grandparents are calling me begging me to go on the cruise and to just go ahead and pay for my sister, I'm waivering. AITA if I still refuse?

TL/DR: My sister can't afford the family cruise due to a DUI, my parents told me I have to pay for her to go or risk embarrassing them in front of the rest of the family. I don't want to spend my savings, but they say if I don't do this I won't be allowed to go either. They're calling me an AH for putting my foot down.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Certain_Copy7095 on 2024-01-04 20:27:22+00:00.

My girlfriend (f29) and I (m29) were going to host thanksgiving dinner last year, we had everything planned and we invited our closest family members (her parents, my parents, my siblings and my sisters family). Unfortunately we had some health issues concerning my girlfriend's pregnancy, even though she was 31 weeks pregnant just a few days before thanksgiving, she had to have an emergency C-section. I won't go into too much detail with that since it's irrelevant, but the thing is that we cancelled dinner, my gf and our baby had to be in the hospital for a bit.

My girlfriend and I decided to just stay home during Christmas and new year's eve dinner too, as she was still recovering from the surgery and we honestly didn't feel like doing much. However, since she's feeling better now she thought that it would be a good idea to have a family dinner now, to make up for all of our missed holidays this year.

Long story short, we planned a dinner for yesterday. My girlfriend and I are vegan, usually she doesn't mind too much being around cooked meat, but we prefer to not have it in our home. My sister (f35) is married and has two kids (both boys under 10).

My girlfriend and I cooked for everyone, and when our families came, my sister's husband asked where the real food was after we told them what we've cooked (all vegan dishes). My gf is a little oversensitive still, so I took my family aside and kindly asked them to not make any harsh comments like that. They said they'll be careful and my sister's husband apologised.

However, as I was finishing cooking some of our food, someone rang the bell. My sister said "oh, it must be the delivery for the kids" and yeah, it was. She had ordered fried chicken for her kids since they surely won't like what my gf and I cooked. That caused a big argument between me and my sister, since she didn't tell me that she was ordering chicken (which I wouldn't have allowed). The discussion escalated and I ended up asking my sister and her family to leave, after that my parents also got upset with me and they left as well. We ended up having dinner just with my in-laws and my brother.

I feel like I did something wrong because now my parents or sister don't want to talk to me unless I apologize for "being an extremist", but I was only trying to keep my girlfriend comfortable and happy in her own house? I need different povs here, please

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Brilliant-Sock-3434 on 2024-01-04 20:13:45+00:00.

My husband works 10hr shifts at a shipyard. Leaves at 8am and is home by 6:30pm. His job is 3 minutes down the street. I work 8hr shifts at home, while also homeschooling our 3 school aged kids (7yo twins, 5yo), nursing our 2 month old and doing all the cooking. We do NOT homeschool as a normal. Schools have been shut down for 5 or 6 weeks after finding lead in the drinking water. But given this, I'm doing far more than my husband is. Not that it's a competition but let's be real.

Well, this past week has been extremely rough on me mentally. There was a child death in my family and another family member is hospitalized in ICU. I'm struggling to power through it while still working, homeschooling, nursing the baby and cooking by myself. My husband is the opposite though. He isn't even remotely affected by what's going on in my family right now (he didn't know the child and he's not close to my hospitalized family member). He checks in on me through text during the day but when he gets home, he doesn't mention it. Doesn't ask how I am. He grabs his plate of dinner and takes the baby to go hang out with him while I clean up (I know it could be argued that he should be helping clean but me and my children are clean freaks and enjoy cleaning so it's no issue).

But the night before last he asked if I could send the kids to bed early (7pm) because he "just wanted to relax". I said no. The kids had been great all day and they weren't even bothering him so no. They won't be punished for zero reason. Then last night at like 6:50ish he goes "so we are sending the kids to bed at 7, right?" I said no, why would we? And he snapped. He said "I just want to fucking relax without having anyone talk to me after busting my ass all day. I'm tired of working and getting zero down time." And storms out of the room. This absolutely pissed me off because I work full time and do everything in this house so I should be the one begging for a break. The kids are in bed by 8, meaning he has literally 2.5 hours to deal with them daily. But anyways, he comes back in and says "sorry, can we please just send them to bed?" I said no and walked away. He's pissed at me and says I'm not letting him catch a break "once a week".

ETA: we have an agreement that neither of us make a decision regarding the kids without first speaking to each other. This was put in place after he repeatedly made new rules without informing me and would discipline the kids for not following the rules when I was the one allowing it because nothing was ever communicated to me. He also overstepped tremendously back some years ago. So we now have this agreement. And no, he doesn't want them to go to bed early to have time with me. He wants to sit at his computer with headphones in and not be interrupted.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Prestigious-Rock-113 on 2024-01-04 21:06:56+00:00.

So me and my bestfriend (call her A) from 1st grade were planning on hanging out at her house this upcoming week. She has a daughter and lives on her own while I have no kids and am living with my parents until I finish college.

I got my very first tattoo with her (matching tattoos) about 2 years ago in a tattoo parlor and since then I got 3 more with a different tattoo artist. We decided to get tattooed instead of staying at her house and invited one of our close friends (call her B) to come with us since she always wanted to get a tattoo and already knows what kind of tattoo she wants + the placement.

After we confirmed the day and were about to share options on parlors we can go to, A decided she can’t go because she has a strict budget this month and would rather not spend another 100$ on a small tattoo. (Our first tattoo was 3 numbers 2 inches big that we were charged 100$ for). Since we were all getting small tattoos, my tattoo artist who did my other 3 tattoos is a close friend who gives discounts since he lost his tattoo booth and does tattoos from his garage. Since it isn’t a professional setting, he only tattoos friends/family and gives them a discount. He still keeps up cleanliness, does neat work, and is very talented, he’s essentially just restarting from the bottom and embarrassed since he has to find a new place for his work.

I told A I know someone who will give us a discount if money is the issue and she replied “no”. I responded why not? She said she doesn’t do cheap beginner artists. I told her he’s not beginner, he did all my other tattoos (which she said she loved before) he’s just offering discounts because he does it from his home now. She responded “ I actually like my limbs. I don’t do cheap artist” then tried to get us to do something else instead. I responded “ok” . I honestly don’t understand the issue of him doing it from home since she goes to peoples homes for her nails, lashes, etc when they aren’t properly licensed. he is not a beginner and has a IG page dedicated to his work which shows his talent.

B ended up messaging me personally saying she likes my tattoos and wants to go to my artist on the day the 3 of us planned on going since it’s her only upcoming free day. I said we can if shes comfortable because I don’t want her to be uncomfortable since it’s from his house.

Now A is upset we plan on going without her. I responded she threw unnecessary shade and she can’t be mad about going without her. Do you agree she threw shade? WIBTA if we plan on going without her?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/anonnnnnnnnn321 on 2024-01-04 21:05:18+00:00.

My boyfriend (31 M) and I (25 F) have a crazy dog. We needed to clip his nails today because they were too long. I saw a video online with using peanut butter, so suggested I pick him up and have him lick the peanut butter while my bf clips the nails. My bf was hesitant but agreed to try it (we usually keep him on the ground). We tried it, and my bf clipped his one nail too short so it was bleeding :( after that though my bf got suuuper mad at me and went on about how I shouldn’t have tried to change it and it was my fault that he was hurt.

We’ve had issues in the past, and I experienced some substance abuse problems last year. So, when I apologized he said that it didn’t sound sincere and it was an “alcoholic apology” when I was just trying not to cry so it could’ve come across as dismissive. I then explained that but he didn’t seem to care and it turned into a huge fight. Am I the jerk here?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Reasonable-Count-251 on 2024-01-04 19:24:48+00:00.

I was at a bookstore last night after work. When I got to the register, it was empty. A moment later, an employee came back around with another customer. The other customer got in line behind me, while still chatting with the employee. I could tell the employee was a little uncomfortable as she called me forward. The other customer stood literally right behind me as the employee kept doing the brush off of “yeah” “oh really?” “Wow”.

The other customer was talking about how she had recently been diagnosed with cancer, going into details about the treatments she’d need, etc. Finally, she was quiet when it was clear the employee was focused on my transaction and trying to ask me the whole “do you have a rewards card, do you want one, etc.” spiel. That’s when the other customer turned to me and started giving the same story. I said I was sorry to hear about her diagnosis and went back to speaking to the employee. The customer still kept talking, right in my ear, saying “yeah, I’m so pissed, why’d this have to happen to me?”

Finally, I told her “you need to back up and give me some space. Stop interrupting our conversation.” She started saying “I have cancer, I need to vent”. I said “again, sorry to hear that but we are not your therapists, back up”. She backed up and went silent. Employee looked relieved.

I told my wife what happened and she told me I was rude. The woman was clearly going through something. I said as a former retail worker, I despised people who unloaded their days on me and she was clearly making the employee uncomfortable while also standing right next to me. Wife said I was still wrong.

AITA?