Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Ok-Seaworthiness6498 on 2024-01-04 21:01:35+00:00.

My girlfriend (23F) and I (25M) have been dating for nearly a year, even when we met, I knew she was out of my league, and I guess that sort of made me insecure and made me want to do more for her.

Even when we first started dating and she expressed that she wanted something, I would always get it for her, and when I did this she would always tell me that it makes her uncomfortable that I keep buying her things and that she doesn't want it.

I took this as her just being polite as I know a lot of girls that do this, they say they don't want something but secretly they do want it.

Anyway, fast forward to about a week ago, I would still buy her gifts and she would still tell me how she doesn't want me to get her stuff and how it really does make her feel weird, but she's my girlfriend and I love her, and of course I want to buy her stuff.

So last week, she was at my house and I told her I need to do a bit of shopping, I told her that I would be around 1-2 hours and that there's no point in her coming with me, so she should just relax and chill at mine, she said okay and then kissed me goodbye.

As soon as I went out, I knew what I was going to do, I went to a very expensive jewelry store and I bought her a gold bracelet. I knew she didn't like it when I bought her stuff but that was normally small stuff, and now that it was more expensive, I didn't think that she would mind.

I got home and I called her to come downstairs, she came down and gave me a big kiss as always and then I told her to close her eyes, she was hesitant at first but then did it, I slowly handed her the jewelry box and told her to open her eyes. She was familiar with the brand and as soon as she saw the letters on the box she immediately got mad.

She shouted at me saying how I know that she hates when I buy her stuff and how she feels uncomfortable, and asked why I would go and buy her something so expensive. She broke down in tears and told me that she needed some space for a bit and told me she would text me in a few days, she left my house and went to hers.

She texted me 2 days ago saying that she's sorry about getting mad but she really doesn't want me to buy her stuff, even though she has said this, I know I wont stop as it's something I do to show her that I care.

So, AITA For buying my girlfriend gifts even though she doesn't want them, or is she just overreacting?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/s4febook on 2024-01-04 19:05:06+00:00.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a few years and planning to get engaged sometime this Summer and married next year. He has is the youngest of 3 siblings (1 sister, 2 brothers) and I am the youngest in my family and have 1 older sister.

Recently his sister brought up the topic that if her and her husband were to pass away, they would want my boyfriend to take guardianship of their child (and me, as we are getting married next year). They have a 2.5 year old and are expecting another (due date May). My boyfriend was open to the idea and brought it up to me to get my opinion. I said i wouldn’t want that, and if he were to agree to it, this would jeopardize our relationship.

I don’t want to look after and be responsible for his sisters children. We live in a HCOL area, and we want children of our own, so if worst case scenario something did happen to his sister and BIL, I don’t want to be responsible for 2 children and don’t think we could even afford it.

I’m also not particularly close with his sister/BIL and confused why they would want my bf to have guardianship in this case, as their older brother is more equipped (married and has child of his own). Sisters husband also has 2 siblings which are married and have children of their own. Boyfriend is a middle school teacher (maybe that’s why?) and is close with his sister but has no children or experience looking after children. He spends a lot of his free time playing PS5 and coaching highschool lacrosse.

Boyfriend eventually agreed with me and told his sister that he wouldn’t want guardianship, and maybe we can revisit this topic a few years down the line. Sister got mad and is blaming me for changing his mind and is now talking trash about me to the rest of the family and saying I’m not considering her children’s future (why should I - theyre not my children!)

AITA for not wanting guardianship of her children if they were to pass away and convincing my boyfriend to not agree to it?

Edit: To add, boyfriend and I didn’t say no never. We said no right now and are open to this topic in the future. We can barely support ourselves right now and if worst case something were to happen tomorrow or even a year from now, we would not be able to support the children.

Edit 2: “Convinced” was a poor choice of words. I asked boyfriend what he plans for us to do if they pass away next week, and he said “that wouldn’t happen”. Then we started talking about what would we do if it did happen and he agreed that we are no where near equipped to raise children right now.

Edit 3: I’ve mentioned this in several comments - but they have no money. No assets. No life insurance. No savings - literally nothing. If we agreed to this and they were to pass away 4 weeks from now, we wouldn’t have enough money to even buy diapers or formula.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/EnvironmentalWing227 on 2024-01-04 20:58:10+00:00.

I 17f have a brother 16m who just had his first shift at first job at McDonald’s yesterday.

My dad was picking him up and also lifted me because I went to the cinema with friends close by so I was in the car waiting for him to get out.

Where we where parked we could actually hear my brother on the speaker taking orders. When my brother got in the car I told him he sounded kinda rude, like he was rushing the orders and he should slow down because he was hard to hear and was probably annoying some customers.

My dad IMMEDIATELY snapped at me saying that’s not what he needs to hear and seemed VERY shocked I said that. I said it’s better me than a manager and I was just trying to help. My brother remained pretty quite while this was happening weirdly.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Lleexii on 2024-01-04 20:56:08+00:00.

I (26F) have been dating my boyfriend Mike (25M) (obviously fake name) for about a year and a half. We are in a very serious and committed relationship, so serious that we are talking marriage and kids and we are currently looking to move in together. I was never one to date or go out with men in general so needless to say Mike is the first guy I’ve felt so serious about to introduce him to my family.

Now, my cousin (31M) and his soon to be wife (34F) are getting married later this year, my cousin invited me couple of weeks ago and I accepted even though I don’t like his fiancé that well but because he’s family and in my culture weddings are a big deal so I kind of didn’t have a choice. I, in my mind, was thinking that the invitation was for me AND for my boyfriend since the whole family have known about him for a while and they have met him on multiple occasions.

Today, I decided to ask my cousin about the plans of the wedding day to be up to date with everything and mentioned my boyfriend, that’s when he told me that the invitation was for me and me only, that they decided to invite family and close friends only and that it’s too late now because they’ve already planned the exact amount of food with the caterer, I said that I assumed that the invitation was for the both of us and that it doesn’t make sense to invite me and not my partner, the wedding is in MONTHS and they could still arrange with the catering company for one more plate. He said that they already paid and it wasn’t possible to add more people, that’s when I told him that I will not be attending the wedding because in my opinion it’s insulting to not include my partner who has been sharing my life for over a year.

He didn’t reply but I received a call from my other cousin telling I’m TA for THREATENING to not come to the wedding, I told her I didn’t threaten not to come I am genuinely not coming, she said it’s ridiculous to expect my boyfriend to be invited and that I should just suck it up and be there for my family.

So reddit, AITA for refusing to go to the wedding because my boyfriend is not invited or should I just stfu and go alone ?

PS: I have to mention that my parents and siblings live in a totally different country, so I am living alone here that’s why, for me, it’s important to have my boyfriend with me during these occasions since I can’t have any other close member of my family, he kind of became my only close family here.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Sea-Beat9466 on 2024-01-04 18:29:41+00:00.

I (18f) am away at college and my sister (16f) is still at home with our parents. Moving out of my parents house was totally the biggest relief of my life. They always favored my sister over me and they also wanted me to dedicate a lot of time to her. She always wanted me too and is very needy when it comes to my time. My parents spoiled her that way.

Some examples of this;

• She got better Christmas gifts than me. While I would maybe get some books and clothes instead of gaming stuff or art supplies on my list. She got a new TV or a new phone, new laptop, Calico Critters and trampolines when she was younger and all kinds of scooters and stuff.
• She would get gifts to open on my birthday and would often get to blow out my candles and my parties had to be catered to her but hers were not catered to me and I never got a gift at her birthday parties
• She got to choose where we'd get takeout once a week and I had no input
• She got her room freshly decorated once a year and however she wanted but I only had mine done twice when I could remember and I had no input
• She got to have a TV and her laptop in her room but I could not
• She never had to include me when seeing her friends but my parents would insist I had to include her with mine
• They have a college fund for her but they never had one for me
• She could ask for money whenever and always got it. I was always told I should earn money when I asked. Even when I was a little kid.
• They know her favorite foods and they don't know mine. They used to call her favorite mine and would dismiss me when I corrected them.

I did try talking to my parents before and I had my grandparents help me a few times as well. All it did was make my parents kick my grandparents out and refuse to let me see them. They scolded me every time I spoke up and told me I should love my sister.

My sister was always so demanding of my time and attention and when I would tell her I didn't have the time, or I had plans, she'd say she should come first, or she was more important than anything else. She also used to say she should be my first priority.

For Christmas I decided to stay at college and join some of my friends who weren't going home. I told my sister I wasn't coming home and she got so upset. She told me she'd miss me and I should come home to see her but I made it clear I wasn't. Ever since Christmas she has been on my case about not coming home. She called me on New Years and told me I should have come home so she could see me because she deserved that. I got so frustrated with her and told her the world doesn't revolve around her despite our parents making her feel like it does. She cried down the phone to me and said it was so mean and I talk like I don't miss her. I didn't tell her this, but I don't, it has been GREAT not seeing her every day.

She and my parents both blew up my phone after that saying I was awful to talk to my sister that way. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/justrollwiththepunch on 2024-01-04 20:51:39+00:00.

Ordered groceries this morning. Told husband I ordered groceries. He asked what time I was picking up, I said 1:30. He said did you get dog food and dish soap? I said no, I’ll go in to get those. We both go about our day. I get home from picking up the groceries and he proceeds to say “can you let me know next time you order groceries so I can add stuff I want?” I’m livid because he knew I was going, knew I was also going in and then chooses at the very end to tell me to remember to ask him what he wants next time. I came unwound because what? Now he isn’t speaking to me and just left the house after we got into a huge fight over it. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Agitated-Ad-2603 on 2024-01-04 18:08:53+00:00.

My sister 26 has been on and off out of the hospital. I am going to call my sister Anna. Anna got cancer when she was 15 and was able to beat it. Ever since she has been having growths and anytime one appears we are worried about the cancer coming back.

My issue is that she always makes these announcements that she needs to go to the doctors again at the worst times. At the beginning I thought it was just bad timing but it has happened so many time when I hit a milestone. My graduations, my birthdays, my engagement party. Anytime she makes an announcement she needs to go back to the hospital my whole family with flock to her.

I have had my birthday dinner turn into my relatives flocking to her for the whole night.

I had a dinner party to announce my wedding date for my relatives. It was going so great and it was a fun time until Anna told mom she needs to go back to the hospital. Soon everyone forgot about the reason for the dinner party and it was quiet. My aunt even stepped in to do a pray for Anna. Another event was taken over. I went low contact with her after that.

She was invited to the wedding and it is in two weeks. I learned today she is in a on and off in a wheelchair from my mom/Anna. She will need to take it just in case for the wedding. I asked if the rest of the family was informed and she told me no. I told both of them they need to inform them. They told me they don’t want to worry them and won’t do that.

I had enough and told them you need to tell before my wedding. Again a no. I then informed them Anna is not invited.

This started a huge argument about how I’m a dick and my point is that I am sick of her stealing the spotlight. That what will happen if she rolls in with a wheelchair.

Edit: I’m going to do a mass blast to all my relatives, saying she is in a wheelchair and unsure if she will be able to make it to my wedding, keep my sister in their thoughts and prayers.

I’m gettin ahead of this.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Slow-Show-3884 on 2024-01-04 20:34:36+00:00.

AITA for not cooking for my husband everytime I cook for myself? I have been married for 10 years. I do 95% of the cooking and also the majority of organizing the take out meals. My husband loves to eat but doesn't like to cook. He also has trouble deciding what he wants to eat which means the burden falls to me to pick the place. I am good at cooking and mostly like it but sometimes I get tired and just don't want to. For the most part we like a lot of the same foods. But there are a few foods I love that he doesn't eat. So I can only have those foods if we go out and the restaurant has those options, I go out by myself, I cook for myself when he is not home or I cook extra dishes so we both can have what we want at home. So I mostly just cook only the items he wants that I will also eat. Sometimes this irritates me because sometimes I just crave something I know he doesn't want. But my husband expects that if I go into the kitchen to cook something no matter how small, I should offer to also cook for him. But since he very rarely cooks this means everytime he's home I cook for both of us or not all. I have seen him literally sit on the couch eating snacks all day without cooking what I consider a real meal. But if I go in that kitchen he expects me to ask if he wants something. This puts me in a position that feels awkward. Sometimes I am going in there to cook something small the way I want without changing it to accommodate him. I just want x dish the way I like it. If I've got to include him, it gets more involved and takes longer. I do this most of the time do I have to do this all the time? My husband thinks so. He thinks it's rude for me to prepare something without first asking him if I want something. The other week he was home on vacation but I had to work remote. I got up a little late one day and had to hurry to be online on time. I'm rushing to shower and get ready. I run into the kitchen to get coffee and make eggs with leftover rice. He had gotten coffee earlier but not something to eat and sits down to relax. I get my food and head to the home office. Later I notice he's upset and when I ask why and he asks what I ate for breakfast. I quickly get it that he's mad that I didn't make him breakfast. I was rushing around and was concerned with getting online on time. And I don't even recall if he's ever eaten eggs and rice when I've offered so I figured he would get his own breakfast at some point. AITA????

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Due-Carpenter-2697 on 2024-01-04 20:32:51+00:00.

My (19f) grandparents are celebrating 50 years of marriage this year and have invited the whole family to go with them on a cruise for a family reunion. That means all six of their children and their extended family (roughly 125 people) are going on a week-long vacation in March.

I adore my grandparents but have a complicated relationship with my parents. In short, they're incredibly emotionally immature and care entirely too much about how they appear to others and not enough about how we as a family are functioning. Because of this, one of my older sister's, Brittany (20f), has fallen into addiction. Though I've tried my best to help her, without the support of my parents there's very little I can actually do.

They told me it was my responsibility to take care of her, so when she lost everything after her DUI my senior year in high school, I completely rearranged my life to cater to her. I stayed home my first year of college and took her to and from all of her appointments, took her to work and school, etc. I sacrificed my life so that it looked like our family was functioning even though we weren't.

Unfortunately with addiction, there's always the chance of relapse and my sister relapsed hard. She OD and I found her and had to rush her to the hospital. Still, my parents refused reasonable help. So, I stopped doing everything and decided to go to the school of my dreams and live my own life. After a week of having to actually parent, I got the "apology" call and the request to support her again. I denied them, and have 100% been independent since.

Which brings us back to the cruise.

Last week my parents called to inform me that I'm expected to go on this cruise and pay for everything myself- which is fine. I'm adult. However, I was not expecting to pay for Brittany. My parents said without reliable transportation, she's been unable to maintain a steady income and it's my fault for moving away, so it's reasonable for me to pay for her and have her pay me back. I told them no and asked why they couldn't. Turns out, in addition to paying for my younger sister Callie (16f), they've also decided to pay for my nieces (2f, 3f, 5f) and two step sisters (28f, 24f). I double downed- I'm paying for my own school and don't want to dip into my savings when I know I won't get paid back. But now I'm getting non-stop hate messages from the rest of the family. I don't think I'm being unreasonable, but with my grandparents are calling me begging me to go on the cruise and to just go ahead and pay for my sister, I'm waivering. AITA if I still refuse?

TL/DR: My sister can't afford the family cruise due to a DUI, my parents told me I have to pay for her to go or risk embarrassing them in front of the rest of the family. I don't want to spend my savings, but they say if I don't do this I won't be allowed to go either. They're calling me an AH for putting my foot down.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Business-Door-7484 on 2024-01-04 15:13:18+00:00.

So my (23F) boyfriend (25M) and I have always talked about doing a week long road trip up the northwest coast of our state. We decided that right after Christmas would be the perfect time, because the weather would be good and neither of us would have to worry about taking time off work. While we were planning the rest of the logistics, he mentioned to me that his best friend, James, had previously expressed interest in doing the same trip, and that it might be fun to have a few more people come. I agreed and so we reached out to a few of our friends who we thought would be interested. There ended up being 6 people that joined including a mix of his friends, my friends, and mutual friends. Everyone who went had met each other before and got along well, so we were all excited for the trip.

Now one of my friends, Kate, also would have enjoyed this sort of thing. However, she used to date James, and I thought that having both of them accompany us would make it a bit awkward and uncomfortable for everyone else, so I didn't invite her or tell her about it. I figured we could do a similar girls trip later down the track instead.

We returned a couple days ago and had a really good time. Everything went smoothly and everyone enjoyed themselves. I reached out to Kate today and asked to meet up with her for a coffee, where I planned on putting forward the idea of our girl's trip. She told me that she had no interest in spending any time with me, and I made it very clear that I would rather hang out with her ex than go out with her. She found out about the trip somehow (i'm not sure who through, none of us posted anything on sm) and said that now that I've chosen her ex over her she sees no need to continue her friendship with me.

We've known each other since the start of high school, and her and James did not have a messy breakup or anything, no infedility or abuse or anything like that, just massive clash of personalities. And as long as James and my boyfriend are still friends he will always be a part of my life. I'm not sure if I'm in the wrong here or not? AITA?

Edit: For everyone saying I should have given Kate the option to choose - James was invited because he had wanted to do this trip previously. It's my boyfriends trip as much as it was mine, and he has the right invite his best friend. James and Kate do not get along. James would not have wanted her on the trip.

Had it been Kate who had expressed interest in the trip previously, I would have invited her and my boyfriend would not have invited James.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/InsuranceLivid6789 on 2024-01-04 20:31:15+00:00.

I am 17 f and so Is my friend. We just got off holiday break which was 2 weeks. This girl and I are very close we would usually hang out a bunch and she would invite me to got to parties with her and stuff. Over the break we hung out once and there was like 2 parties she went to she didn’t invite me at all but she invited some other girl. Her and I are very close so I’m kinda annoyed on why she stopped inviting me to these things. Especially the New Year’s party. Also it made me pissed off like 2 weeks ago I suggested that we should go ice skating and she was like yeah. Like 3 nights ago I saw she posted on her story of her and 2 other girls going ice skating. That made me annoyed because I suggested that and I wanted to do it with her. So I was mad about this so I started to be dry and stuff like not reaching out because I think that if people don’t ask to hang out then they don’t want to do I tend not to ask others if they want to hang out. She started to hanging out w her other friends more. Today I was not in the best mood because I had to go back to school. She said she was gonna unpin me from snap and I was like ok because she wouldn’t do that. And she did she pinned her other friend that she was hanging out with and doing all this stuff over break. She has said some things to me before that pissed me off like made fun of my weight when she was drunk and I belive in the expression “drunk words are sober thoughts.” I think about that often because I hate the way I look and I have always been insecure about it. She also tends to throw me out under the bus to save herself which is annoying. I know I’m not the greatest person. I might be overacting but it’s just been annoying me. She also accused me of having a crush on the boy she was talking to which made me mad. Alright that’s all

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Lia-likes2draw on 2024-01-04 20:30:41+00:00.

I(17f) draw a lot and a few years ago my aunt got me a “how to draw manga, bishujo around the world” book that teaches how to draw manga characters from different cultural backgrounds and there’s a section of it that contains a bit of nudity(breasts and ass) but it’s entirely nonsexualized and only intended for artistic purposes.

Well mom had a friend over and she brought her 9yo son along and he saw my art supplies and asked if he could draw. I gave him some paper and pencils and left to use the bathroom. I came back to fin him looking through the book and grinning and I took the book away. He later told his mom that I had a book with naked girls in it and she flipped out at me for letting him see that and said I should have had it put up. I had it in the same drawer that my pencils were in and since it’s entirely meant for art moving it would have never crossed my mind.

Aita

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/CStoke25 on 2024-01-04 20:29:52+00:00.

I recently sold my car through an online auction to a dealership south of where I stay. Just this morning the bank let me know the vehicle had been paid in full (so the buyer could receive the title) I then receive a call to my cell from an unknown number while I’m at lunch. Planning to call back when I freed up from break and catching up, I walk back into the office to find they had also called my shared work phone number (which I did not disclose to them) I immediately went back outside and returned the call from my cell phone. We are talking and he says they found a bottle of stop leak in my trunk and are saying my radiator is messed up. For context, the vehicle I sold had less than 50k miles on it and had never had a mechanical problem. The stop leak was for my wife’s vehicle and I had left it in there when we moved 5 months ago and forgotten it. Now they are claiming that since it wasn’t disclosed to them that I am going to have to front the cost of repairs for the radiator and whatever else they find wrong on this car. I began to become irate but kept my cool for the most part looking through the bill of sale and contract I signed nothing states I must disclose any and all mechanical issues or be the person to fork up the cash for them to turn for a profit. He said he would call me back as he was the auction’s middle man and had to talk to the dealer about what I had told him. Any advice would be helpful and also AITAH?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Mediocre-Cupcake-670 on 2024-01-04 15:01:11+00:00.

Throwaway since my parents follow me on Reddit.

I am a 17 year old boy, and my 18th birthday was a few weeks ago (Dec 15). Throughout the entire week I tried indiscreetly asking if my parents made any plans for my birthday so I could call off work and tell my friends when I'd be busy but they never brought the topic up. I even asked them outright if they had anything planned and if they didn't I'd be going out with my friends. They answered no.

The night before my birthday my friends surprised me over text with tickets to a movie I wanted to see, outdoor rock climbing, and a paid dinner at this new restaurant I've been wanting to visit for a while now, everything was paid for by them and obviously I was ecstatic! I managed to get a coworker to cover my shift last minute and the next morning after i got ready to leave I was bombarded by relatives the moment I walked downstairs.

Now to be clear these were aunts, uncles, and friends of my parents who I never really talked to aside from pleasantries during family gatherings, I wasn't exactly close with any of them. They had food, cake, and presents in the kitchen, and my parents were at the center. I was super touched at all the work they must have gone through to get everyone here (and the food looked delicious) and I told them I would be back before sunset. Immediately my parents got annoyed and asked me where I was going, and I told them I had plans with friends. They asked if I was just saying that to get out of celebrating with family and I told them that since they never gave any indication that they had anything planned for my birthday my friends made plans themselves, plus everything was already paid for. I tried to reiterate that I would be back before it was too late but they started yelling at me, calling me selfish for ditching family for friends and that I was a jerk for disregarding all the work they put into my surprise party. I once again tried to tell them that I had no idea they were going to invite anyone over, and if they had told me beforehand I would have been able to plan accordingly, but they said that would have defeated the purpose of a surprise party.

I had to leave since my friends were waiting and if we were late our reservations to the restaurant would be rebooked, all the while my parents were yelling while my relatives watched. By the time I got home (6 pm) my relatives were gone and all the food was put away. I asked my parents about it and my mom told me I'd get the presents next year if I decided not to be selfish and put my actual flesh and blood before some 'silly friends'

Aita? This has been lingering with me the past few days. Things are still tense in house.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Certain_Copy7095 on 2024-01-04 20:27:22+00:00.

My girlfriend (f29) and I (m29) were going to host thanksgiving dinner last year, we had everything planned and we invited our closest family members (her parents, my parents, my siblings and my sisters family). Unfortunately we had some health issues concerning my girlfriend's pregnancy, even though she was 31 weeks pregnant just a few days before thanksgiving, she had to have an emergency C-section. I won't go into too much detail with that since it's irrelevant, but the thing is that we cancelled dinner, my gf and our baby had to be in the hospital for a bit.

My girlfriend and I decided to just stay home during Christmas and new year's eve dinner too, as she was still recovering from the surgery and we honestly didn't feel like doing much. However, since she's feeling better now she thought that it would be a good idea to have a family dinner now, to make up for all of our missed holidays this year.

Long story short, we planned a dinner for yesterday. My girlfriend and I are vegan, usually she doesn't mind too much being around cooked meat, but we prefer to not have it in our home. My sister (f35) is married and has two kids (both boys under 10).

My girlfriend and I cooked for everyone, and when our families came, my sister's husband asked where the real food was after we told them what we've cooked (all vegan dishes). My gf is a little oversensitive still, so I took my family aside and kindly asked them to not make any harsh comments like that. They said they'll be careful and my sister's husband apologised.

However, as I was finishing cooking some of our food, someone rang the bell. My sister said "oh, it must be the delivery for the kids" and yeah, it was. She had ordered fried chicken for her kids since they surely won't like what my gf and I cooked. That caused a big argument between me and my sister, since she didn't tell me that she was ordering chicken (which I wouldn't have allowed). The discussion escalated and I ended up asking my sister and her family to leave, after that my parents also got upset with me and they left as well. We ended up having dinner just with my in-laws and my brother.

I feel like I did something wrong because now my parents or sister don't want to talk to me unless I apologize for "being an extremist", but I was only trying to keep my girlfriend comfortable and happy in her own house? I need different povs here, please

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Mean-Examination-458 on 2024-01-04 11:41:01+00:00.

So me (21F) and my boyfriend (22M) have been dating for almost two years. In the first months of our relationship we used to fall asleep in Discord, and we kept doing that as it was very romantic. Eventually, we dealt with different work schedules so it wasn´t always possible.

Currently, I wake up at 5:30 in the morning to go to work. He is unemployed, but we are both working on our college thesis. He stays up gaming with his friends or watching series until 2:00-4:00 a.m, and then wakes up in the afternoon.

Recently, he has been gaming more and more, and most days we stop talking at around 10-11 at night. because he wants to go play with his friends. He has even interrupted our activities together, like watching a movie, because he wants to go play. Sometimes it feels like he is not prioritizing the few moments we have together, because I am busy with work and college.

I have told him that if he goes to play, he shouldn't call me at 2 or 3 am, because I have to wake up early, but he says he wants to sleep with me in Discord. I told him he chooses to do that once he leaves, so he shoud go sleep by himself at that point and not wake me up.

He says he needs me, he has depression and anxiety, and that I should be there for him.

I tell him to always call me if he is feeling really bad, but most times its just because he wants to sleep with company.

So, am I the asshole for telling him to stop calling me at night?

EDIT: So I feel like I should clarify things. I don't answer the calls, they don't happen every night and most times I don't even notice them until next morning. That doesn't make it better but at least they don't tend to interrupt my sleep.

Second, I talked to him about it. I let him know that I was not gonna tolerate him interrupting our activities to go play (something he can do any other time, but not me) and that I wasn't going to let him call me after I sleep. He apologized, said I was right and that he felt bad about the whole thing. Let's see how that goes.

And third, he has been a great boyfriend, respectful, not at all controlling or demanding. This issue has appeared in the last couple of months, as he had to quit work to work on his thesis, but now he says he can't concentrate in it and thus the excessive gaming started.

So thanks everyone for your comments, they have been very insightful and please keep sharing your thoughts!

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Reasonable-Count-251 on 2024-01-04 19:24:48+00:00.

I was at a bookstore last night after work. When I got to the register, it was empty. A moment later, an employee came back around with another customer. The other customer got in line behind me, while still chatting with the employee. I could tell the employee was a little uncomfortable as she called me forward. The other customer stood literally right behind me as the employee kept doing the brush off of “yeah” “oh really?” “Wow”.

The other customer was talking about how she had recently been diagnosed with cancer, going into details about the treatments she’d need, etc. Finally, she was quiet when it was clear the employee was focused on my transaction and trying to ask me the whole “do you have a rewards card, do you want one, etc.” spiel. That’s when the other customer turned to me and started giving the same story. I said I was sorry to hear about her diagnosis and went back to speaking to the employee. The customer still kept talking, right in my ear, saying “yeah, I’m so pissed, why’d this have to happen to me?”

Finally, I told her “you need to back up and give me some space. Stop interrupting our conversation.” She started saying “I have cancer, I need to vent”. I said “again, sorry to hear that but we are not your therapists, back up”. She backed up and went silent. Employee looked relieved.

I told my wife what happened and she told me I was rude. The woman was clearly going through something. I said as a former retail worker, I despised people who unloaded their days on me and she was clearly making the employee uncomfortable while also standing right next to me. Wife said I was still wrong.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/North_Bid5499 on 2024-01-04 16:45:43+00:00.

I regularly go for a run and this morning came across a guy letting his dog shit in someones yard that had the no pooping signs.  These were very clear in his yard and impossible to miss.  

So i asked him if he missed the signs?  The guy turns his back to me and ignores me.  I tell him its pretty fucking disrespectful what he is doing.  He turns to me and says mind your own business.  I tell him no, i'm not going to.  Its rude to ignore the signs, even if you pick it up.  

He calls me ridiculous and an asshole.  I tell him what he is doing is bullshit, he is a shitty owner and neighbor.  He tells me to move along asshole, but i already re-started my run.  Was i wrong here? 

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/MONKEYTIMEaa on 2024-01-04 16:41:41+00:00.

I had a $50 haircut yesterday. Im curly headed, so i expect most people don't know how to cut my hair, I'm not too picky. I have short hair, trying to grow it out, I tell the stylist Im trying to just trim/reshape into a mullet and continue to grow my hair out.

Half way through the haircut, after chunks have been hacked away, she tells me, "I dont really know how to cut short hair," and that she doesnt "know how to fade." That was apparent with the way she had been chopping away at my head, but I gave her the benefit of the doubt. But I look in the hand mirror, and all my growth is gone and theres chunks sticking out of my head, looking super messy.

Should I have said something even though it wasnt fixable? She's inexperienced, so would it even matter? I called today for a refund and the person on the phone blamed me for not saying anything. Am I being an a**hole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/PomegranateSelect616 on 2024-01-04 16:31:14+00:00.

So a little background I live with my father his wife and their three sons.I moved with them when I was 13 and everything was quite alright.I am 17 now and my half-siblings are 1,4,8 y/o.Those past days the oldest of my siblings has always talked about a girl in his class and apparently they are “boyfriend and girlfriend”.My step mom told me today about how she has told my father about this and he was supportive and didn’t interact in my brothers relationship.Well the thing is that when I was 11 I got my first boyfriend ever,when Josh(my dad) found out he was disappointed and angry with me bc I was “too young” to have a partner even if it wasn’t anything serious,back then he called my bio mom about that and they had an argument.He didn’t approve of me having a boyfriend and told my mom to not let me hang out with him.He threatened to shave my hair if I didn’t stop with my “bs” and didn’t really want to hear about me and my then boyfriend.He told my mom that I would grow to be a wh*ore for my early interest in boys.When I told my stepmom today about how he had treated the whole situation before she just said that it was his job to care for my relationships since I was a girl.I understood that but I didn’t understand how did he have the audacity to support his 8 y/o son and not me.20 minutes ago we happened to talk about their kids relationships and stuff and she said that her (my dads wife) and my father had agreed that their sons will be allowed to have their girlfriends over after they turned 15.In which I am 17 and they forbid me from having a guy over until I was 18.When I asked why can they have their partner over after 15 and I AM 17 and still can’t have someone over even just to hang out she rudely told me that I was a girl and it’s different bc they’re boys and they’re going to want their girlfriends over.I got pissed and told her that they’re treating my half-sibling better than they have ever treated me abt this stuff and she said that I was too spoiled and shouldn’t be minding what they allow and don’t allow their kids so AITA for wanting them to be treating us equally???

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/No-Session-1398 on 2024-01-04 16:28:47+00:00.

I(F18) go to college and I live in a dorm. All of my friends also live in this dorm except for Bonnie(18) who lives at home with her parents.

Bonnie told us that her parents only let her go to a college that is close to them because they wouldn't allow her to stay in a dorm which I think is ridiculous because she is an adult but whatever.

She told us that her parents think kids in dorms end up addicted or alcoholic or worse.

Anyway yesterday her parents "allowed" her to visit us in dorm. They would call her every hour to check on her and make sure we haven't done anything to her(like wtf?) So the last time they called her I had an idea to mess with them.

I started yelling things like "someone pass me that vodka" or "where is my cigarette" or "do we have any meth left?" My friends thought it was funny and they all joined me. Bonnie left the room in a hurry and when her call was done and she returned she was MAD. She asked me wtf is wrong with me and said I got her in trouble. She thinks I'm an asshole and says her parents won't let her visit us again

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/DramaticAd8975 on 2024-01-04 16:26:35+00:00.

I (f23) moved in with my roommate (f22) two years ago, we met through mutual friend’s. Roommate had a terrible upbringing she lived in group homes and foster care all her life. She turned out strong and smart which I’ll give her credit for.

Three months ago my roommate was laid off from the doctors office she worked for (her first job ever) due to it closing down (she was able to walk to work); this will make sense later on. She was able to pay rent and her half of bills the month she was fired but after that things got tough, she couldn’t pay rent anymore. I have a great job so I told her I would cover her and to just find something asap. Well a month later roommate still hadn’t found anything but she wasn’t trying, I would come home and she would be sleeping which I don’t care but how can you sleep instead of looking for a job? I let a week go by and finally I texted her letting her know that if she doesn’t find a job she has to leave. She instantly apologized and said “she’s been trying to look for something but with no work experience or car she wasn’t getting calls back”

Fast forward to 9 days ago, I confronted roommate again but this time told her she had one week to leave my property. I feel she wasn’t trying hard enough and was taking advantage of the situation.

Yesterday night I got a text with a screen shot of something my ex roommate pasted on FB, stated she was homeless and now had to look for a shelter. I know ex roommate doesn’t have any family or alot of friends but I felt she wasn’t my responsibility, I know plenty of people who have had it extremely hard and with motivation they turned out amazing! Upon telling a few friends they told me I was wrong for that. Roommate did have a deposit of 1500 she gave me when she moved in. I will be keeping that. People are telling me ITAH because she doesn’t have anywhere to go permanently and didn’t return $, unfortunately for me I could not support it anymore.

Edit 1: she didn’t pay rent for almost two months AND utilities, it’s why i kept her deposit.

Edit 2: she was not on lease, but she gave me the half of deposit

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Relative_Tower_2896 on 2024-01-04 16:15:42+00:00.

So, my parents have a set of maids, who work at our main house. Recently, my parents hired a new maid, lets call her Sarah, shes from Guatamela. Sarah's english isnt very good, and me and my sister always have to talk to her slowly, so that she understands. Its annoying but we got used to it, but that wasnt the main part. Sarah works very slowly, everytime we ring the bell, she takes at least 15 - 20 minutes to bring us food, or come to our service if we need something. We told our parents about this, but they told to brush it off. This irked me, and i started yelling at her, to not be so useless for once, im not sure if she understood it, but i saw her crying in one of the bathrooms, I feel bad, but shes purely incompetent. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/TimeGoesBack2001 on 2024-01-04 16:15:09+00:00.

My Dad regularly stays up and keeps me up until midnight and has to be up at 3:30AM for work and expects me to make sure he wakes up. He also expects me to wake up my 13 year old sister at 6:30 for school. If I don’t wake up at both those times or sleep throughout the day I’m selfish or a lazy POS. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Nayveee on 2024-01-04 16:09:05+00:00.

AITA for allowing a kid to manipulate me for food

I (35 m) work in a juvenile detention center on the graveyard shift, as a youth counselor. Mostly, my job is doing intakes for kids that are arrested and ensuring the current residents are safe during the night. I work with a partner (60 f) on doing everything we need to do and we have worked together for about 7 years.

Currently, we have a resident that is approximately 17 years old. They have never been in trouble before and are in detention for a pretty minor incident but the court systems have complete control over our admits. We have 0 say as a facility. This resident is somewhere near 4-5 months pregnant and is struggling with adapting to the stressful environment (refusing food, not following rules, isolating, constant arguments with staff, morning sickness, stress from dealing with pregnancy/courts/being a teenager, etc) For context, it is my personal belief that this child should not be in detention but again, I have no say over this aspect.

This kid can be a handful but is pretty minor compared to our typical resident. They pick and choose when they want to follow rules. One thing they will do is refuse to eat food all day, because detention food isn't the greatest. Then, they will try to manipulate staff to give them additional food. Because it was the holidays, our in house nurse was on vacation and typically it would be nursing staff to set up a food plan for a child that isn't eating properly. Obviously, this type of plan was not in place for this child. .

The other night, I was doing my rounds and this resident told me they were hungry and wanted a sandwich. I know from our documentation that they didn't eat a lot during the day. I made the call to give the kid a sandwhich.

My co-worker was adamant that the kid was manipulating the situation, wasn't following program rules, and had lost privileges for behaviors earlier in the day. She felt this type of behavior should not be rewarded by letting her have food outside meal times (one of our typical program rules).

There is no hard-fast rule on if I'm allowed to give the kids food. It's widely up to my best judgment when making safety calls. I often feed new intakes at all hours of the night because often kids come to us without having a proper meal and I don't want them to go to bed hungry.

My co-worker is a stickler for rules and "teaching kids a lesson". These kids have all been arrested for a crime and are facing charges. Her contention was that if we don't feed her, she won't refuse food the next day. I'm not new to this job and I knew the kid was manipulating to get food, but to be completely honest I didn't care. I saw this as a medical issue and a pregnant child under a lot of stress was hungry. So I fed then.

Am I the asshole?