Am I the Asshole?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ggycool on 2024-01-04 16:05:18+00:00.

This happened a morning after my Parents split up I went with my mum and I always loved my mum more but one day she had a weird request to take my dad 3 miles away from home and leave him there so I did that my father wasn't happy with me but my mum was.

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/No-Instance8805 on 2024-01-04 15:59:37+00:00.

I was recently meeting up with a small group of friends for dinner and drinks. I was the designated driver so I had to make a stop to each of their locations and pick them all up. One of my friends was dressed super revealing in a mini skirt. This same one in particular has been dealing with constant harassment and unwanted attention. It sorta blows the mood when we have to be on her defense when she is around, it especially makes me uncomfortable because I’m expected to always step in since I’m typically the only guy around in this friend group. I asked her if she felt like toning the outfit down a bit because we’re in the middle of winter and I didn’t want her getting sick (I didn’t tell her it was because I didn’t want to deal with the inevitable harassment that would happen, because I didn’t want her to feel blamed for it) I also didn’t think her outfit fit the occasion. She agreed but I could tell she didn’t like what I said because she was sorta avoiding me the entire night.

AITA for asking her to change her clothes?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Throwaway-202401 on 2024-01-04 15:55:03+00:00.

Throwaway for privacy. Please don’t reproduce this content anywhere else.

So my (25f) husband (33m) works in the entertainment industry, which means he’s around parties every weekend, coming home in the afternoon on weekends etc…

We’ve had many issues in our relationship related to this lifestyle, when we started dating I told him we weren’t compatible cause I just couldn’t live like this and he told me he was looking for a career change, he was tired of the lifestyle too and it would take just a couple of months as he was already getting paperwork to be able to work in another field.

Fast forward time kept passing by, the paperwork is still not ready, we’re almost two years in, have a 4mo old baby and I’m just sick and tired of this life.

I’m a sahm, he’s a really caring husband, we really get each other and live a good life together besides his job.

There’s an upcoming music festival at a south American country right now, and he started giving me hints weeks ago that he “may” need to go, I was very clear that I didn’t approved of this cause in the past year he did the same trip and it was a sh*tshow, he told me he would only go if the money made sense as January was going to be a slow month, and went above and beyond to make me understand he wouldn’t be partying all day etc. When I asked him how much he would make there, I told him that wasn’t a significant amount and that I have savings we could use in case this month we were slacking, he completely refuses to let me use my money so the conversation just didn’t end in any agreement.

For two weeks said trip was never mentioned, I figure he may not be going as it wasn’t worth it. We found that we were pregnant with our second and yesterday I started bleeding heavily and realized I was having a miscarriage, when I told him he goes like “oh are you bleeding? Is it bad? Hmmm I don’t know what to do, this people that were going to pay me for this trip never confirmed with me and just told me they’re already there and need me there by tomorrow” I’m like wtf so you are just telling me you’re leaving tomorrow morning to a music festival in a different country while I’m miscarrying.

Tbh neither of us had enough time to be emotionally invested in this pregnancy but I still feel so upset with the whole situation, he’s heading there right now calling me all the time “to make sure I’m fine” but I just don’t even want to pick up the phone, I really don’t want to talk with him, I know the silent treatment is seen as a form of manipulation, but I just want to be left alone.

AITA?

Edit: some words, English is not my native language sorry in advance.

Edit 2: I haven’t stopped communicating, he’s heading there right now, called to check on me and I asked him to please mind his business while he’s at his trip and leave me alone as I’m not going to give him validation for what he’s doing, but he insists he’s going to be calling me all day “so I don’t have to worry” and I just really don’t want to talk with him so I’m considering to stop answering the calls.

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/_voodooqueen on 2024-01-04 15:52:41+00:00.

I (30F) am helping a family friend (23F) who recently graduated from college. She majored in music. I was under the impression that she was going to get a job in that field, but within the last year she has talked about being a teacher. I am an English teacher, so she came to me about advice on teaching. I was under the impression that she was going to be a music teacher, like we discussed, but when she failed her Praxis, I looked over it to help her. I thought she was going to be an elementary teacher, which in some states requires you to pass a general knowledge Praxis (ABCs, 123s, etc) so I thought when she said "I need help with the English stuff" she was talking about her grammar and stuff.

Tell me why she is taking the Praxis to teach SECONDARY ENGLISH. She has taken NONE of the required coursework for an English major. She doesn't know any of the classic works, and struggles with grammar concepts and written responses.

I don't want to be mean, but why would you want to teach a subject you never studied? She's failing the Praxis bc she never studied any of this stuff. I am feeling a little frustrated bc I studied for years to be an English teacher, studied a lot of the classics as well as wrote papers advocating for the use of newer texts in the classroom. I worked hard for my degree, so I feel hurt that she thinks that she can get the same certification with none of the work. Because I feel this way, I am afraid I am not being fair in thinking she has to do more coursework instead of getting me to help her pass the test. I don't want my own feelings to prevent me from giving her help, but I also don't think she can bypass years of coursework with a study guide from me.

So. AITA?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Hazel_Topaz on 2024-01-04 15:51:14+00:00.

A couple of years ago I discovered a long distant cousin at a summer job, and tried to jokingly ask how we were related. But my tone can be deadpanned so it sounded more like an integration than I intended, and I felt awkward afterward.

Later on she suggested that we should go out to the club at some point, but I wasn't sure since I've never gone. I was always taught that answers boil down to yes, no, or idk. So I want with idk, especially since it wasn't time specific/sensitive. However said cousin would swing back to ask again to the point that other coworkers (who mean well) were also asking & encouraging me to give it a try (honestly I was a little curious).

Being asked any time there was a lull in working was getting to me and felt cornered from everyone around, so I just said no and it a tone louder than I intended. Since then she hadn't invited me for something like that again. But I still cringe about it even though I don't work there anymore.

AITA for my response or tone? How would you smooth this over?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/faithfulpoo on 2024-01-04 13:23:39+00:00.

My (25f) surgery is an ACL reconstruction surgery that I have been waiting for, for a year. My life has been on complete hold, I can't work, I can't do sports, go upstairs etc. Recently my mum asked to borrow 500 out of my surgery pot that she promised she would return to me yesterday. I had reminded her two days ago and she said that would be fine. I asked her for it today and she said she'd have it back to me by the end of the week (my surgery is on Monday 8th Jan), which honestly I don't trust. She's never been good with money and I love her but I don't believe her when she says she will give money back. When she asked me, "do you really think I'd not give it back?" I said, "I honestly don't know!" Which resulted in her storming out of the house. Moreover, my uncle (her brother) had told me he had sent her 300 towards my surgery a while ago and I never received it or even heard about it. So at this point, she's actively withholding the surgery money from me. She also hasn't put any of her own money into this pot, she claims that because some of her friends donated to the crowdfund, she actually has put something towards it..

However, both my sister and my mum are acting like I'm an asshole for wanting the money for my surgery. I don't understand this at all. I'm pretty sure my mum is the asshole here and I don't know how to approach this. I just want my surgery.

TLDR: my mum took 500 from my surgery money that I raised using savings and crowdfunding and stormed off when I asked her for it back, 4 days before surgery date.

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Expert-Assistance-77 on 2024-01-04 07:08:31+00:00.

AITA for not forgiving an in law for 5 years after he totally disrespected me at a family gathering? I was with my then boyfriend ( now husband) for a short time when i fell pregnant. Late in my pregnancy, a drunken in law suggested that my husband get a paternity test. I left the gathering in tears. The night my daughter was born, my husband rang me in tears saying everyone was shooting texts around asking whether she looked like my husband or was even his. After this died down he assured me his family member would apologize but that never happened. Fast forward 5 years, my husband has got over it but without an apology i havent been able to. We were to attend a family function and i was told that particular in law wouldnt be there. However, last minute they were able to attend and i would have been okay to tolerate that but then my husband offered for us to drive this person to the venue. I just couldnt. He says im the a*****e and i need to get over it. If i had an apology 5 years ago i could have. So i stayed home and they went together . I dont even think an apology now would make up for it. AITA?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/throwawayfrant on 2024-01-03 22:00:00+00:00.

I am a 20M, and to add context about 3 years ago my mom had a premonition about North Carolina, we lived in San Diego. My mom uprooted me a few months before graduation and because I was a minor still, she went to the school and dropped me out. Ever since then I've been getting shit on for being a drop despite me never wanting that.

In November I was told I needed to Graduate high school and I would get a very large cash prize from my grandma, so I busted my ass and got my GED that same month. as a guitarist that motivated me heavily and despite my grandma not giving me the money I was promised I just assumed it was going to this guitar that that promised me for getting all my work done.

Well I'm opening gifts and there's a bunch of Ernie Ball merchandise like strings, picks, a strap and there's a big gift in the form of a card from my grandma, it was so important that I wasn't allowed to open the card until my grandma was able to FaceTime. When I finally do open it, its not a cheque, or a receipt. Its a checklist..

It had all the things I need to do now going forward. To add insult to injury at the back of the message, it says that I still wont be getting the guitar. That was soul crushing. They held my dreams over my head, then never followed through and it makes me feel used, or like they made that promise because they didn't believe I could do it.

When I confronted my mom she said I don't deserve anything because graduating high school shouldn't be rewarded, as its the bare minimum.

I never expected the guitar, in fact I never even asked for it because I knew the price. they brought it up and offered it to me. I'm not sure why so many people were downvoting me because this seems like very obvious shitty behavior. Also before anybody hits me with the "go get a job" Im not allowed to. I live somewhere very rural so there's no walking distance places to work and my mom wont let me drive because getting a job is the last thing in the list. but I'm applying for work from home jobs multiple times a day, I am actively job hunting.

TL:DR Mom and Grandma used my dreams to get me to do some things I needed to do, promising I'd get it aferwards, they did not give me the guitar, I got a checklist for present which once completed will still not result in the guitar and to rub salt in the wound, for Christmas I got a bunch of guitar gear and a wall hanger that now sits empty. So I found a guitar I really like personally for only $400 and made a Gofundme and detailed vaguely out of desperation, then I posted it to Facebook. I didn't expect anything but to my suprise I made nearly $300 in a few days, but then my mom came and threatened me so I had to delete it and refund everyone.

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Mountain_Room4523 on 2024-01-03 17:02:59+00:00.

Okay so many details here but I’ll keep it vague. Characters: me- 26 year old female. Chad- my fiance- 25 years old. Paul - Chads father- 55 years old.

Paul texted Chad soon after we got engaged and told him that he would like a plus one to our wedding. Paul told Chad his plus one is 30 years old and that she really wants a signed baseball from Chad (Chad is a minor league pitcher lmao). Paul made Chad text this plus one to invite her based only on the above info “for brownie points” ? Lol. Chad and I were kinda side eyeing this bc why is a 30 year old fan girling over her “boyfriend’s” son and requesting a signed ball and a text from him ?

Then I got on Facebook and looked up his plus one. Chad and I found out that Paul lied. the plus one is actually MARRIED and has 2 kids under the age of 4. She is ALSO 25 years old (3 months older than Chad and 1 year YOUNGER than me).

We didn’t want to pry Paul for info or make him explain his relationship. So we told Paul that we didn’t appreciate being manipulated and that we were no longer comfortable with this plus one coming bc we don’t know her and our wedding wasn’t the place to bring her into our intimate moment. I.e. photos, front row in the ceremony etc etc.

Paul has now drug this topic on for 6 months of our engagement- he is not respecting our boundaries. He informed us his plus one is happily married and that the three of them are in the relationship (?). He’s sold Chads things and forged Chad signature on an MLB check. And now Paul is not coming to our wedding bc his plus one isn’t invited. So my fiance will not have a father at his wedding. AITA? Or are we the assholes —?!

Adding : Chad and I are very much on the same page here. Chad has done all of the communication with Paul. I have been super careful not to overstep Chad. I even told Chad - this situation is out of hand let’s just let him bring her and Chad said absolutely not. Chad is embarrassed by his dad’s actions. We are from the south, polygamy is not normal in the Bible Belt. Chad knows everyone will be weirded out if she comes. Again she’s 3 months older than Chad.

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ProfessionalLab9799 on 2024-01-04 15:50:57+00:00.

I (23 F) moved to my hometown after 4 years. All of my childhood and college friends were still very close to me we would hang out every week and discuss our lives after I moved back. After 3 months of moving back, it was time for my birthday. I usually don’t like surprises because I don’t like burdening people to plan a party for me. So I made a group added everyone in it and started discussing it. I wasn’t interested in my birthday I was just interested in meeting all of my friends. Half of my oldest friends didn’t bother to reply or left me on seen and the other half kept on asking me to move the date to accommodate them. After a week I got tired of their behavior and sent a message to the group saying I was tired of accommodating everyone and left it. Later on two of my friends(one was my college friend the other one was an acquaintance) saw how mad I was and started planning the birthday in the group. My childhood friends didn’t bother to participate or reply to them. On the day of my birthday, they told me no one was coming so I called my best friend and asked her why wasn’t she coming and her reply was “I don’t really know them and ill bring a cake for you tomorrow (which they never did)” I got pissed and told my friends just to meet up and not to celebrate my birthday since only 3 people out of 25 decided to show up or make effort for me. When I got there all of them started shaming me about how asshole my close friends are and I got embarrassed. Then they showed me the group chat and instead of planning my birthday they were just sad reacting to my message on the group. They also left the two people who tried to plan something on seen multiple times Now my childhood friends are asking me to see them constantly. AITA for dragging this issue and trying to make them feel sorry?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/illusionmists on 2024-01-04 15:45:07+00:00.

I (23F) am currently on a trip with my boyfriend (22M) and our close mutual friend K (20M). We’ve all known each other and have been friends for about 7 years now. For reference, we live in the US and the drinking age is 21.

I’ve avoided alcohol my whole life due to some major trauma surrounding an alcoholic parent who later died from their addiction. I was teetotal for awhile, as was my boyfriend, but very recently we decided to start consuming small amounts of alcohol in specific situations. We want to have a healthier relationship with alcohol where we enjoy it in moderation, not treat it as something totally off limits.

Last night, we all went out for dinner in the city we’re staying in, at a gimmicky restaurant known for its margaritas. My BF and I decided we would get a margarita to split, and it was our first time ever ordering alcohol in a restaurant. The only other drinks he and I had ever had were a single glass of wine at a family dinner a few times. We had another friend with us who also ordered a drink for himself. Since K is underage, he couldn’t order one. First he tried to convince us to order one for him, then he tried to come up with ways to trick the waitress into thinking he was of age. This all made me extremely uncomfortable, I don’t know the procedures around this stuff but I assumed getting caught would be ugly for all of us. I told him no, and he seemed frustrated but let it go.

When the drink came out, K asked for a sip. I once again told him no, I wasn’t comfortable with that. He then got really pissed off, called me a “dick” and said we were taunting him by ordering the drink around him. He also mentioned how on New Years I wouldn’t buy any alcohol for our small get-together at my apartment, which he wanted me to buy for him. He said I was a hypocrite for not wanting alcohol then, but wanting it now….but I just can’t handle people getting drunk. That’s still something I’m very scared of. I figured my partner and I wouldn’t be getting drunk off of half a margarita, but people could be getting drunk off of whatever amount of alcohol he wanted me to buy for New Year’s Eve.

He refused to speak to us for most of the dinner after that. It was super awkward and tense. He refused to eat any of the large and expensive appetizer (that he suggested we order) and then also refused to pay his portion of it since he never ate it. I’ve been annoyed by the situation since and I’m not really sure how to proceed with stuff with him. He’s visiting from out of state and goes home tomorrow, but things feel weird now. And I don’t know if I’m in the wrong or not for what I did. I’m not really familiar with etiquette around alcohol, was I TA for ordering it when he couldn’t?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ExternalNext2975 on 2024-01-04 15:30:45+00:00.

My sister is getting married in 2 months. She asked me to be her bridesmaid.

A month after her telling me she wanted me to be a bridesmaid she takes me shopping to start looking at bridesmaid outfits. She put me in some awful options but at the end of the day it's her wedding if she wanted me in a bin bag I'd just smile through the pain. When I was trying on one of the worst options (a neon yellow dress with pale blue feathers) she casually dropped the "obviously you need to lose the extra weight so the dresses start to look nice on you. I was thinking you have time to lose a couple of stone before the wedding". I was taken aback. The idea that she had said something like that to me was ridiculous because we've discussed at length how our Mum's attitude towards food and weight has fucked us both up a bit. (For context I am 5 foot 4 and 12 stone so yes overweight but not to the point of it being something often brought up to me)

I laughed her off saying "oh I don't know" and it wasn't discussed again. A couple of months later my Mum casually remarks on my eating habits saying "oh didn't (sister's name) talk to you about you needing to eat healthier before the wedding)". This started a whole 'debate' over how I thought it was ridiculous.

Skipping ahead my sister texted me saying "I thought you agreed. Me and (fiancé) have discussed this and for you to be such an integral part of our wedding you need to fit the aesthetic properly". I have taken this to mean 'lose weight or your out'.

WIBTA if I refused to see my sister before her wedding so that people could stop discussing my weight. I think if I just don't see her she won't know if I have or haven't lost weight and then hopefully we can pretend nothing has happened?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/CanIbeOnStage on 2024-01-04 15:28:49+00:00.

I (21f) am volunteering at a local non profit community theater. Just before Christmas they asked if I could direct one of their upcoming kids shows. I accepted excited for the experience, I have wanted to direct a show for as long as I could remember. They informed me that they already had the show picked out I just needed to decide on audition and performance dates so they could purchase the rights to the show and get the scripts.

Well the scripts came in and I have a few concerns after reading through them. A some of the language is inappropriate for the age group I am working with (8-16) with sexual ineudos amd insults. Parts of the script are outdated and could be deemed unsensitive. One of the songs stereotypes people of color with a gibberish tribal song and is a key moment in the show. While another one stereotypes the french.While thier are adjustments I could make to the text to fix the language and make it more age appropriate. I feel uncomfortable working with a show that has this language, for this age group, in the first place.

I brought up my concerns to a friend who said I should talk to the head of the theater department about getting a diffrent show due to my concerns with the current one. The head of the theater department said with auditions a week away and the rights already paid for we could not get a diffrent show and to just make this one work. That I made a commitment and I need to see it to the end.

I told her I did not feel comfortable directing a show with this content, especially with kids and she would need to find a another director. The friend I talked to said I did nothing wrong, that I gave her the chance and that I should it have to participate in something I find unreasonable. My roommate says I'm the asshole because the rights for the show were already bought, and show rights can be super expensive. She also said that the inappropriate stuff in the script is fixable/ avoidable and I should have just worked around it.

I could be the asshole because I already made the commitment to the show and I'm backing out right before auditions and the rights to the show have already been paid for.

AITA?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Mysterious_Macaron75 on 2024-01-04 14:13:19+00:00.

This has been an ongoing issue, I have a friends group that likes eat nicer food. Personally for me I am fine getting something cheap on the menu. The issue is they always want to split the check. I have had the conversation so many times that I want to pay for what I ordered. It results in an argument where I have to bend or everyone is mad at me.

I also make a lot more then my friends so it always result in them basically calling me cheap. They don’t get I want to pay for my meal and that is it.

Anyways we went out to eat yesterday and they all ordered things that were around 30 dollars, I got the house salad and my total was around 12. They told the server to split the bill and I didn’t want to fight about it again.

I asked the server to add on to the bill an entree and dessert for me to take home. This resulted in my bill going up into the 30s.

So they asks me what I was doing, I told them I am getting more food, they got upset they I increased the price they needed to pay. This resulted in another argument and they think I am a jerk.

Edit: Reddit I’ve done everything you have suggested, I have had the server take mine out and I pay for it, I have spoken to them. If I do anything that isn’t splitting the bill with them they get pissed

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Affectionate-Bad5771 on 2024-01-04 13:47:44+00:00.

I (19f) look just like my late maternal grandmother. She died when my mom was only a child. But she died leaving her husband and oldest daughter deeply traumatized by her behavior and her death. Her younger daughter, my aunt, was too young to remember her or anything about the life she gave her family. My grandmother did a lot of things that left it's mark on the family and my mom especially. To add to everything else my mom is the one who found her mother at just 8 years old. So she has always carried that around with her.

I only found out I looked just like her mother when I was 6 and my aunt told me I was just like her mommy and she was showing me all these photos she had and the childhood ones really showed the resemblance. My made a big point to tell me every single similarity we had.

My mom never ever made me feel like I wasn't loved or like there was something wrong with me. The only reason I knew something was up was someone she wasn't able to hide the sadness in her eyes when she looked at me. I also did some snooping when I was little and heard her tell my dad about the struggle she had some days to see her mom's face in me.

My aunt decided to use me to hurt mom. When I was 12 she brought me to get my hair dyed behind mom's back and pushed me to go blonde when I wanted pink hair. Turned out my mom knew their mother as a blonde. I realized that when I saw mom's eyes after seeing me with blonde hair. That was the point where I realized what my aunt was doing.

There was other stuff before then. Like she'd buy me clothes that were similar to what their mother would have worn (my aunt had a bunch of photos of her mother so she knew the stuff she liked to wear). She gave me a nickname as a little girl and got me so into it I tried to use it with everyone. It was a nickname my grandmother was given by... some people in her life. My mom really hated that name too. I heard her tell dad later that night.

My mom adored my aunt and thought they were super close so when I did realize what my aunt was doing I made sure to tell her I was on to her and wouldn't be trusting her anymore. She did attempt to do some more fucked up stuff but eventually I told my dad and he told my aunt to leave me the fuck alone.

We didn't see her for years during Covid or after but then grandpa's birthday happened just before New Years and she approached me and tried to manipulate me into doing the same stuff (change my hair and how I dress, etc). I told her I knew what she was doing and she laughed at the idea of it being to hurt mom. So I lost my temper and made sure everyone heard what she had done when I was a kid and that she was trying to do it again. My dad and some other people there forced my aunt to leave but not before she told me I was such a bitch for spoiling the party and publicly humiliating her.

AITA?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Ok_Inevitable_1170 on 2024-01-04 11:55:54+00:00.

So,

I was about 17 at the time, an babysitting my younger sister who not long turned 2,

I took her to a soft play area to have a little play and get lunch, but as she was playing a little boy who id of said was about 8/9 years old started pushing her over to take the things she’s playing with, as you can imagine she’s still not 100% sturdy on her own feet as a 8/9 y/o would be.

So I go over to the little boy and ask politely to not do that. He then does it again, I ask around for the child’s guardian but couldn’t find ANYONE who this child belongs to, so again I ask politely for him to not do that, this happens multiple times which I still cannot find the guardian, he ended up pushing her over so hard she got a bump on her head, at this point I’m livid, I go over to get her whilst he’s laughing at her so I give him a little shove (he fell in the soft play area) an said see it’s not nice when someone bigger than you pushes you over…

Skip about 10 minutes later the mother comes over screaming in my face telling me I assaulted her child and that I shouldn’t be allowed near children with the way I treat them. She then proceeded to call me all the names under the sun,

I’d tried explaining what had happened and that I came looking for her or someone multiple times but never found anyone. Even showed her the bump in the head to which she replied “yeah right he did that, you probably did”

I just want to know am I the asshole?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Background_Boat_4498 on 2024-01-04 10:23:40+00:00.

When I was 10 years old, I (17F) lost all my hair and have been bald ever since. It bothered me a lot at first so I would always wear wigs to hide my baldness. Since about a year I've kind of come to accept it, and now I even think I can look pretty cute even without wearing a wig, so I started wearings wigs less and less, and since about three months ago I stopped wearing them completely.

Now my older sister (24F) is getting married in a few weeks, and she asked me if I would wear a wig to her wedding. I said I wouldn't, and she asked me again to do it for her, because it's just a small effort on my part. I refused again because I finally got comfortable with my appearance, and I don't want to hide it anymore. She told me I'm being unreasonable because it's such a small thing to do for her wedding day and walked off. Now my parents are also trying to convince me to just do this one little thing for my sister on her special day to make her happy, but it feels like everyone is just trying to hide that I'm bald.

I'd understand her point if I had never gone anywhere without a wig before and this would be the first time everyone saw me without a wig, but everyone has already seen me without a wig. Everyone already knows I'm bald, so there wouldn't be any attention stealing.

AITA for refusing to honour my sister's request about wearing a wig?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/anonymousdog123123 on 2024-01-04 09:28:01+00:00.

I have (F26) have been with my partner for just over 5 years,

Before we were together I went NC with my family (a whole other story) as part of this I had to leave my Dog behind, my parents claimed it was ther dog as they paid for him and the food etc and would not allow me to take it, this caused me massive separation anxiety that therapy has helped with, but I decided I would never have a pet again.

When me and my partner met we both agreed that we wanted to be child and pet free.

I have recently had a call from my family saying that my parents are unwell and aren't able to look after my dog, no other family will take him, so I obviously agreed to take him.

My partner is pissed, he hates dogs, I told him that I'm not giving up my fur baby and he either needs to accept him or move out.

He is now staying at a friend's and is refusing to pay his share of the rent.

I think this is justified, a couple of years ago he came home with a goldfish out of nowhere, it caused a big argument at the time but we got through it, I told him this is no different and he needs to accept it.

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ThrowRa27374 on 2024-01-04 05:20:12+00:00.

Me and my partner have been living together for 2 years, and for some reason he can't get up in the mornings. He will set multiple alarms (about 7 or 8) and will turn them all off and sleep right through.

He expects me to nudge him awake and I hate doing this because then he will say "I'm up" while lying in bed slowly falling back asleep until I nag him to physically get up. This happens for almost 10 minutes and by then I'm fully awake and exhausted, all the while he's grumpy and giving me shit for nagging him awake.

I warned him I wasn't going to wake him up anymore. This morning I heard the alarms, let them ring through and just covered my head with a pillow. He slept in by half an hour and was furious that I let him sleep in for work despite hearing the alarms. WITA?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Nezukochaaaann on 2024-01-04 04:38:37+00:00.

Context, hi my name is Lily 14yo female, my sister 33yo females, my friend 15yo female and my niece 8yo female. (Also I am one of those persons that forgets everything in one second)

One night my sister called me and asked me if I could babysit my niece next week because she had to do something and my niece didn't wanted to go with her because it was boring.

As a good sister I accept but I was a bit tired so I say goodbye to my sister, brush my teeths and sleep

(My sister asked me to babysit her on Thursday and the call was on Sunday)

The next day was a normal day and I totally forgot about my sister and my niece. I go to my grandma's house to help her ect just a normal day

Then the next day my friend calls me and ask me "Hey girl wanna hang out at my house on Thursday?" I totally forgot about my sister so I say "yes" thinking I had nothing to do that day

On Thursday my friend come over to my house spend the day and at night we will sleep at her house

During the day my sister drops my niece and I remember I have to babysit her, it's not a problem because my friend and my niece know each other so we just watch movies. (My grandma is with us in the house because I live with her)

Then comes the night and I take my phone to call my sister to ask her if she could pick up her kid because I had to go. I say very calmly with a soft voice "Hey sissy I'm sorry I totally forgot I had to babysit her but I have to go right now and I really can't stay can you pick her up? Or I can leave her with grandma they're gonna draw and watch movies waiting for you to come"

My sister starts yelling at me insulting me and calling me names like "You freaking b! I told you to babysit her for a f-ing reason! You're so stupid! You can't do anything in life you're useless!!!"

I start to cry because I'm very sensitive and my grandma takes the phone saying that there's no need to panic and that she can keep my niece while I'm gone because it will be the last time I see my friend before she goes in vacation in another country.

My sister doesn't listen and yells again so I take my friend and go in her mom's car that was waiting for us in front of my house.

We had fun me and my friend that night and the next day my mom is a bit mad but it's okay.

So yeah AITA?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Nezukochaaaann on 2024-01-04 04:38:37+00:00.

Context, hi my name is Lily 14yo female, my sister 33yo females, my friend 15yo female and my niece 8yo female. (Also I am one of those persons that forgets everything in one second)

One night my sister called me and asked me if I could babysit my niece next week because she had to do something and my niece didn't wanted to go with her because it was boring.

As a good sister I accept but I was a bit tired so I say goodbye to my sister, brush my teeths and sleep

(My sister asked me to babysit her on Thursday and the call was on Sunday)

The next day was a normal day and I totally forgot about my sister and my niece. I go to my grandma's house to help her ect just a normal day

Then the next day my friend calls me and ask me "Hey girl wanna hang out at my house on Thursday?" I totally forgot about my sister so I say "yes" thinking I had nothing to do that day

On Thursday my friend come over to my house spend the day and at night we will sleep at her house

During the day my sister drops my niece and I remember I have to babysit her, it's not a problem because my friend and my niece know each other so we just watch movies. (My grandma is with us in the house because I live with her)

Then comes the night and I take my phone to call my sister to ask her if she could pick up her kid because I had to go. I say very calmly with a soft voice "Hey sissy I'm sorry I totally forgot I had to babysit her but I have to go right now and I really can't stay can you pick her up? Or I can leave her with grandma they're gonna draw and watch movies waiting for you to come"

My sister starts yelling at me insulting me and calling me names like "You freaking b! I told you to babysit her for a f-ing reason! You're so stupid! You can't do anything in life you're useless!!!"

I start to cry because I'm very sensitive and my grandma takes the phone saying that there's no need to panic and that she can keep my niece while I'm gone because it will be the last time I see my friend before she goes in vacation in another country.

My sister doesn't listen and yells again so I take my friend and go in her mom's car that was waiting for us in front of my house.

We had fun me and my friend that night and the next day my mom is a bit mad but it's okay.

So yeah AITA?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/sweatshopworkor on 2024-01-03 18:24:26+00:00.

I'm set to tie the knot in a few months, and I decided on the morning suit as the dress code for the close male members of the wedding party. My soon-to-be wife's family wasn't exactly thrilled with the choice. After some back-and-forth, I caved and said they could wear whatever they wanted to keep the peace.

Now, fast forward to today, and they're urging me to ask my side to ditch the morning suits too. Why? Because apparently, their side might feel inferior in regular suits if my groomsmen and family members wear morning dress. It feels like a bit much, considering I already compromised once to avoid drama.

They have plenty of money so it's not about the cost of the dress. I mean to understand that they think it's elitist since they come from humble beginnings and made their fortune. My soon to be wife is on my side because she likewise wouln't dream of my parents interfering in her dress choice.

I'm standing firm on wanting the morning suits for my side, but it's causing some serious tension. Am I the asshole here? Should I stick to my original plan or try to find a middle ground? Feeling a bit lost, and the wedding is creeping closer.

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/sweatshopworkor on 2024-01-03 18:24:26+00:00.

I'm set to tie the knot in a few months, and I decided on the morning suit as the dress code for the close male members of the wedding party. My soon-to-be wife's family wasn't exactly thrilled with the choice. After some back-and-forth, I caved and said they could wear whatever they wanted to keep the peace.

Now, fast forward to today, and they're urging me to ask my side to ditch the morning suits too. Why? Because apparently, their side might feel inferior in regular suits if my groomsmen and family members wear morning dress. It feels like a bit much, considering I already compromised once to avoid drama.

They have plenty of money so it's not about the cost of the dress. I mean to understand that they think it's elitist since they come from humble beginnings and made their fortune. My soon to be wife is on my side because she likewise wouln't dream of my parents interfering in her dress choice.

I'm standing firm on wanting the morning suits for my side, but it's causing some serious tension. Am I the asshole here? Should I stick to my original plan or try to find a middle ground? Feeling a bit lost, and the wedding is creeping closer.

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Swimming_Wish9442 on 2024-01-03 18:01:36+00:00.

I absolutely adored my MIL up until I got pregnant, when she started acting weird. My husband is her youngest child (30) and the only one out of her children who didn't have any children so originally I thought she was just projecting her excitement over him finally having a baby in weird ways but that's definitely not it. She does not act like this at all with any of her other kids and she 100% never acted like this toward my husband UNTIL she found out I was pregnant (we announced it after we found out the gender).

Anyways, she has always been a super modest, very conservative woman. She showed zero skin because it wasn't "lady like". She never ever made any hint of inappropriate comments. She never would have dreamed about discussing her bedroom life. It simply was not who she was, or so I thought. But after I got pregnant she started showing up to my house randomly 2-3 times a week and asking my husband to leave with her to go run errands and other miscellaneous stuff that she could 100% do herself, with the excuse of "I figured you'd like to go with me and get out of the house". That's not weird but then it amped up to her started to show up with her bust completely revealed and asking my husband if he liked her shirt or if he liked her pants that look like they were painted on. Doing little spins for him. Then started the comments about her BF being a drunk and not being able to "get it up" and complaining that she wasn't having her needs met and how she needed a real man. Started coming over with gifts of money and expensive watches, etc for my husband. Literally showed up to our baby shower with stuff for my husband, not the baby. Started bringing him food (just him, not me) saying "I figured you missed Mama's cooking" (he hates her cooking and it always hit the trash can when she left). I had our daughter 3 months ago and shes held her twice, despite coming here once a week to steal my husband away. But the tipping point was her coming here yesterday unannounced at 7am and told my husband "we need to take your pubes and glue them to your head. We know you got plenty." (He's balding). He just kind of looked at her and said "what the fuck? That's weird." He was wearing grey sweats with no underwear and shit was clearly visible. He immediately went and changed. His whole demeanor changed after that comment and he looked super uncomfortable but she laughed it off. She did however keep touching him (rubbing his arms and back). After she left I told him I really don't want her here anymore. She makes me uncomfortable and quite frankly, she's starting to gross me the fuck out. I asked how he felt about it and how she's been acting and he said "I don't get it, this is not the mom I know. She's acting like I'm her fucking husband but I can't just tell her she can't come here. She was a single mom. I'm her baby, blah blah blah". He said I'm wrong in asking that she not be allowed here anymore, despite agreeing that she's being over the top weird. I don't want her near my kid. AITA?

ETA: as many have mentioned, I did consider this could be medically related to something. I honestly was leaning toward Dementia or Alzheimer's because I frequently see certain signs of this in my line of work (medical technician at a dementia unit). Dementia and Alzheimer's don't run in the family so originally I was fought on testing but she did agree to have a brain scan done a week ago because she was having migraines. My husband went with her to the appointment and the brain scan came back normal. From what my husband said, he did in fact ask the doctor if her scan showed any signs of possible deterioration that could be linked to Alzheimer's or Dementia and they said they had not seen any signs of that. She still acts completely normal at family functions when everyone else is around. Super reserved, not making inappropriate comments. When she's at my house and around my husband it's a completely different story. She acts like a nun in a cucumber patch.

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Swimming_Wish9442 on 2024-01-03 18:01:36+00:00.

I absolutely adored my MIL up until I got pregnant, when she started acting weird. My husband is her youngest child (30) and the only one out of her children who didn't have any children so originally I thought she was just projecting her excitement over him finally having a baby in weird ways but that's definitely not it. She does not act like this at all with any of her other kids and she 100% never acted like this toward my husband UNTIL she found out I was pregnant (we announced it after we found out the gender).

Anyways, she has always been a super modest, very conservative woman. She showed zero skin because it wasn't "lady like". She never ever made any hint of inappropriate comments. She never would have dreamed about discussing her bedroom life. It simply was not who she was, or so I thought. But after I got pregnant she started showing up to my house randomly 2-3 times a week and asking my husband to leave with her to go run errands and other miscellaneous stuff that she could 100% do herself, with the excuse of "I figured you'd like to go with me and get out of the house". That's not weird but then it amped up to her started to show up with her bust completely revealed and asking my husband if he liked her shirt or if he liked her pants that look like they were painted on. Doing little spins for him. Then started the comments about her BF being a drunk and not being able to "get it up" and complaining that she wasn't having her needs met and how she needed a real man. Started coming over with gifts of money and expensive watches, etc for my husband. Literally showed up to our baby shower with stuff for my husband, not the baby. Started bringing him food (just him, not me) saying "I figured you missed Mama's cooking" (he hates her cooking and it always hit the trash can when she left). I had our daughter 3 months ago and shes held her twice, despite coming here once a week to steal my husband away. But the tipping point was her coming here yesterday unannounced at 7am and told my husband "we need to take your pubes and glue them to your head. We know you got plenty." (He's balding). He just kind of looked at her and said "what the fuck? That's weird." He was wearing grey sweats with no underwear and shit was clearly visible. He immediately went and changed. His whole demeanor changed after that comment and he looked super uncomfortable but she laughed it off. She did however keep touching him (rubbing his arms and back). After she left I told him I really don't want her here anymore. She makes me uncomfortable and quite frankly, she's starting to gross me the fuck out. I asked how he felt about it and how she's been acting and he said "I don't get it, this is not the mom I know. She's acting like I'm her fucking husband but I can't just tell her she can't come here. She was a single mom. I'm her baby, blah blah blah". He said I'm wrong in asking that she not be allowed here anymore, despite agreeing that she's being over the top weird. I don't want her near my kid. AITA?

ETA: as many have mentioned, I did consider this could be medically related to something. I honestly was leaning toward Dementia or Alzheimer's because I frequently see certain signs of this in my line of work (medical technician at a dementia unit). Dementia and Alzheimer's don't run in the family so originally I was fought on testing but she did agree to have a brain scan done a week ago because she was having migraines. My husband went with her to the appointment and the brain scan came back normal. From what my husband said, he did in fact ask the doctor if her scan showed any signs of possible deterioration that could be linked to Alzheimer's or Dementia and they said they had not seen any signs of that. She still acts completely normal at family functions when everyone else is around. Super reserved, not making inappropriate comments. When she's at my house and around my husband it's a completely different story. She acts like a nun in a cucumber patch.