Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Own-Tie6044 on 2024-01-04 05:15:20+00:00.

My 21F boyfriend 42M and I met at work, My closest friends all 23-26 who I also met at work were throwing a small new years party/going away party for someone in the group. A week before the party, my friend told me that some people wouldn’t come if he was there, and would rather have everyone together than have him there, but that they still really wanted me there, even if I just stopped by, but understood if I wanted to sit this one out. I told my partner this and he got really upset, thinking that they hate him and don't want him around. (he has a reputation and my friends had a hard time coming around and some are still not super supportive) My feelings were hurt because I definitely wanted to spend the time with both him and my friends, but I was out of town and wanted to talk more to my friends about it when I got back.

When we got back we talked and they told me they don’t dislike him, but this was Js last party in town and they want their close friends, and people planned to wear more revealing outfits that they were not comfortable wearing in front of him. I understood this, and was looking forward to clearing the air and talking with my partner more, but still wasn’t sure if I wanted to go for the whole thing, but wanted to go see some friends from out of town. I got back & started explaining to my partner, & he said really mean things about my friends, calling them “bigots” and “ageist” and saying they were “two-faced”. I did not like that and told him to not talk about my friends that way. He refused to back down after I mentioned people would be wearing revealing clothes, saying it was a “sexualized thing” and I shouldn't go anyways. (We were polyamorous, but recently decided to be monogamous for a while, and I have kissed someone at this party) I feel like he doesn’t trust me, and has recently been showing signs of possession, but has never acted like this before. We argued about this for the entire week before the party, he refused to see when he was overreacting, & didn’t want to respond to J (host) who reached out to him after we talked it over.

NYE comes & I’m not feeling great, & we still haven’t come to an agreement. I decided to go for a little bit to see my friend from out of town and then go home, we continued to argue and I feel like this is going nowhere. I have explained that the way he reacted hurt my feelings and that I felt guilty for going, and he hasn’t apologized or acknowledged that I feel like he doesn’t trust me, and feel like I didn't do enough to defend him to my friends.. I continue to assure him that I love him and that no one is attacking who he is as a person, just that the wasn't invited to this, but I feel like I can't do enough. my feelings are hurt too, & it’s hard to continue to show up for him when I’m exhausted, emotionally, & physically. I need to feel like he is taking a step toward me, instead of fighting me. We are taking a week apart (he has his kids) to give each other some space to think

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Spiritual_Seesaw9909 on 2024-01-04 03:10:19+00:00.

I (17m) am really sensitive to bad smells. If something smells slightly bad to others, I can barely stand it. I won't throw up or anything, I just hate it. We were having some family over and I was helping my mom cook, and I was going to make fried shrimp. My mom gets her seafood and it smells NASTY in there. Everyone admits it but I'm super sensitive and can't stand it. So my mom went and one cousin (16f) that was visiting wanted to check it out since she lives in a very white state and area and thus hasn't been to a fully asian grocery store. As they were leaving and I was helping my mom meal prep since I wasn't going she asked why.

I said, oh it smells nasty in there. She said that I couldn't accept other cultures smells. I said nah I've been in asian grocery stores before that don't smell, and lots of places sell fish this place is just extreme. She said maybe there foos is just made that way. I said nah, go to any other asian store it does not smell like that.

When they came back she said it wasn't bad at all it just smells like food. I said idk dawg I just can't do it so I don't go, basically any other store I'm fine with just not this one. She told me I was just racist and needed to learn to accept other cultures. I told her to please calm down and she got mad and just said whatever went to the rooom she was staying in, now I feel like an asshole since she's also been kinda quiet and distant.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Tryingmybest_36 on 2024-01-04 02:28:32+00:00.

ETA My husband works for a subcontractor of fedex and could have stopped to take a break without there being any issues with his job. Him finishing his route at 4:30pm instead of 3:30pm would not have caused any issues. I was NOT asking him to jeopardize his job in any way. It would be helpful to me if we could take that out of the equation since it is irrelevant to our situation.

Also ETA I wasn’t asking him to come home and put the collar on for me. I was asking him to come home and be an extra set of hands to get it back on together. Which we did later when he got him and luckily the cat hadn’t managed to rip open her stitches.

My husband words for FEDEX and he delivers about 15 minutes from our house. I am a teacher and off work this week so I am at home. We just got our cat spayed and she has to wear this ecollar so she won’t lick the surgical site. It was my first day home with her after surgery and she got the ecollar off. Not only that, but she was under the bed out of reach licking herself. I spent the better part of an hour catching her and trying to get it back on and tightened with the little string, but she would flail and flop around like a fish and I was afraid she was going to hurt herself. She is still on strong pain meds so I don’t know how much she could feel. We don’t have extra money and the thought of having to go back to the vet for another procedure if she ripped open her stitches or worse licked it open and who knows what was very concerning to me. So I was panicking. I was following her around clapping every time she tried to lick it and trying everything I could think of to hold her and get it back on.

Anyways, in a moment of sheer frustration and worry, I call my husband and basically ask him to “break route” and he calls it and drive his truck over to our house and come help me. At this point he is about 2 hours from finishing his day. But the thought of dealing with this cat trying to lick herself and potentially opening her stitches for 2 more hours had me super upset. He could have been to our house and back to his route in less than an hour. And he finishes by 3:30 every day anyways, so it’s not like it would have put him finishing in the dark or something.

He refused and I told him it frustrates me that he will never inconvenience himself to help me and I hung up.

He came home livid at ME, telling me how incredibly selfish I was for even asking him for the favor. And now we aren’t talking and I’m over here feeling like the asshole. Am I?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Winter-Ad3386 on 2024-01-04 03:48:09+00:00.

I recently found out my husband cheated on me 12 years ago. Infidelity is a dealbreaker to me.

Over the past few months, I’ve been working on disentangling myself from him.

My husband works at an image conscious job.

I filed for divorce and had someone serve the papers to him in person with the reason for divorce being his adultery.

My husband was dumbfounded. Some people think I’ve gone too far. I don’t think I did.

We have separate finances and live in a no fault state. My lawyer has assured me that there is no legal fallback to what I have done. AITA?

Edit: It won’t destroy his career but it was humiliating for him

How I found out: His sister cheated on her fiance. He encouraged her to hide it if she loved him. He had done the same twelve years ago.

I vaguely recall that time. He had been acting strangely for a short period but I attributed it to being stressed, not guilt from cheating. I did a lot to relieve the stress from him, not knowing that he was cheating on me.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/SouthernScenery on 2024-01-04 01:21:53+00:00.

12 years ago, we lost dad to cancer. It’s a loss that mom and I took a long time to come to terms with, but we did eventually accept that we will see him someday once more, and we found peace in this.

My mother is now 71 years old, and she is in love with her longtime friend and colleague, “John”, who is 72m (John is not his real name). He’s a very kind soul, and he is very fatherly to me too, while at the same time respecting our boundaries and not trying to “replace” dad. There’s just one problem with him: way back in the 80s, John was arrested and convicted for marijuana charges. He’s not very specific about what exactly the charges were, but he did tell us that he was sentenced to 5 years in prison before being released early, after just 2 years. He was pardoned for his crimes, and he had worked for the NIH for 20 years as a biophysicist and retired from that government agency.

I respect John, but I don’t want mom to get together with him because our faith is very strict about substances and following the law of the land. I know that marijuana is mild and not much worse than alcohol, and that John is no devil. But…..it pains me to write this, but I don’t want mom to go to hell. I am currently butting heads with her, and it has soured the holiday mood somewhat. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/dij123 on 2024-01-04 03:21:05+00:00.

So bit of context. Me and my three friends have booked a boys trip down the beach because a few of our other friends will down there. Well one of our friends invited his girlfriend (let’s call her J) without telling any of us till 3 days before the trip. She hangs with us a lot and we’re all sweet with her coming however the issue is we booked a house with 3 beds, a king and two singles. Me and J are quite close, J is texting me at the moment saying her and her partner will take the king and they’ll bring a blow mattress for the person who doesn’t get a single. This is where my question comes in, I told her that we would all put our names in a hat and whoever gets picked first gets first pick off beds and so on and till last person takes the blow up . She has gotten very angry at me saying because she’s a women and in couple she deserves the king bed with her partner. I understand this point, but she wasn’t originally invited to this trip and no one wants to sleep on a blow up mattress. So am I the asshole for telling her she can’t claim the king bed?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/embioz1 on 2024-01-03 23:36:20+00:00.

So my girlfriend (25f) and I (26m) are staying at her family's vacation house with her family. Yesterday she was fooling around with her sister (14f) and her cousins (11f and 13m) hiding each others phones and laptops which took some time before they finished playing around. I was kinda annoyed since it was already late in the evening and they were also partly fooling around in our bedroom, but I can't really say anything since it's their family's house. Anyway I told my girlfriend afterwards that I thought it was a bit childish to fool around with them when in my opinion she shouldn't have started the whole thing by taking and hiding her sisters laptop. I usually love to play with her sister and cousins, especially since we always play boardgames in the afternoon and have lots of fun. But in this situation she should have acted like an adult and don't encourage this kind of behavior, especially when it was already bedtime for the kids. She doesn't really get my problem with it since she's used to fooling around like that and being childish with her family's kids. I may not be used to that very much since I don't really have kids in my family but that doesn't mean I don't get along with them or that I don't like children, on the contrary, but in this scenario I think she acted too childish. I don't know, I just distinguish playing with kids where it's clear that you are the adult or fooling around with them as if you were their age and their equal. She's always been that way, and is often looked down upon by other adults in her family for doing that. On one side I totally support her for always staying the way she is but on the other hand I sometimes wished she were a bit more serious.

I don't know if I explained the situation accurately enough but I told her that most adults would also be annoyed if they were in my position but she doesn't think that way. The whole situation was no big deal and we didn't fight about it or anything, we just wanted to know what the majority would say to who is in the right and who is in the wrong. So I'm asking you, AITA for thinking that way or are my thoughts understandable in a way?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Levin-Boi on 2024-01-04 03:11:20+00:00.

Me (17m) am leaving for college in the summertime, I got into a huge private university in a big city due to scholarships for academics and tennis. Anyways my family doesn’t have much money my dad passed and my mom is single providing for me(kinda) and 14f sister. When I was 15 I got a high paying job and saved my money, which I used to buy myself everything I ever wanted. This included a gym membership, a 20k car I bought and is in MY NAME, a 2k dollar gaming computer, PS5, and some other things.

Recently talks in my family arose about how nice life will be for my Mom 39f and sister when I leave for college since they will get a new car(my car) and the gaming devices my sister wants. I informed them that I will be taking all those things with me to college and they are not theirs to divide amongst themselves.

My mom was furious because she was expecting a new car, for reference she drives a 2008 focus with 250k miles on it and I bought a 2019 jeep that has 45k miles on it. I informed my mom that if she stopped spending so much money on alcohol which she claims she needs from work stress and spoiling my sister with materialistic expensive crap, she could buy a new one and that it wasn’t my job to provide her with over 30k worth of things I bought.

She responds if we are playing that game you need to give me back all the things I bought you, because besides basic necessities like housing, clothes, and food, she owes me nothing. I told her sure and gave her back my iPhone, then drove to Verizon and purchased a brand new one. When I came home with it she called me “unbearable” I told me once I leave for college, I’m not welcome back, to which my sister agreed. AITA

Edit: for some questions being asked she believes she is entitled to those things because she is a single mother and worked hard to provide me with what I needed. I also received many phone calls from family trying to guilt me into giving her the car because she needs it more than I do. I offered her a discounted price of 15k when I bought it for 20 and pay for the insurance, if she gave me the money I would give her the title. She scowled and I said she owes me nothing and will not be speaking to me until I give her my keys and title. I told her that will not be happening and now have taken back my original discount and want full price.

Another edit for some that have doubts: For context I was always the outcast of the family, my family believes in the church, and I was an accident(my mom doesn’t even know the father) the “dad” I referred to was my sisters dad. He adopted me when I was 3. He was great and kept my mom in check, then he passed. AND FOR CONTEXT ON THE JOB- My uncle kinda took me under his wing, he felt bad for the way my family treated me sometimes. He is the manager of a restaurant on the water that caters towards yacht owners, sports teams, business men ect. He gave me a job there and allowed me to work similar hours to him(a lot) in reference to my “high paying job” that means about 20-25k a year depending on business, which in my oppinion is high paying for a highschool student

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Null-Encryption on 2024-01-03 23:05:01+00:00.

Hey everyone,

I closed on a home in September. It was a relatively smooth process and we had an amicable relationship ship with the seller. They’d answer occasional questions, and in one instance sent their hvac guy to look at a potential issue we had. It ended up being minor user error, and we tipped the guy for his time.

Yesterday, the seller (who stripped it down to the studs and remodeled practically all of it before selling it to us) reached out to me. Where I live, when you install a heat pump, you are potentially eligible for a rebate (that I’ll mention can be quite significant - sometimes 10k+).

Apparently, the sellers HVAC guy forgot to file for the rebate and now, nearly 4 months later, they are asking for/permission to use my name and my account number with the power company (who does the rebate) to file the rebate and then asked me to sign over the resulting check to them. Obviously, being the homeowner the check would come to me should the rebate go through.

It felt wrong to sign over a check potentially that large for my heat pump that I’ve owned for almost 4 months now, yaknow? Since we had been friendly and had an easy sale/etc, I sent a text that suggested we split the rebate 50/50 and long story short, they were quite mad. Paraphrasing: “Taken aback, disappointed, etc cuz they had been generous with their help and time. They’ll talk about it to see if they wanna move forward or just walk away. Then said I may believe they made a lot of money on this project but said city codes, town requirements, and the fact that they never cut corners makes it extremely expensive, the rebate is a good portion of the profit we would make”

In this message, they informed me that I guess since I do not have the invoice purchasing the heat pump or other manufacturer info, I cannot file the rebate. Oops, didn’t know that.

But still, I own it now, it’s mine. I’m sorry you forgot to file for your rebate, and if your profit margin was as razor thin as you suggest, I feel like you would have been more on top of it than 4 months after you sold it to me. I guess I see it as, considering the fact I don’t have to help them at all, it was a nice compromise to split the rebate.

Anyway, sorry for the novel. I can see both sides I guess, and not sure if I was out of line because I really was not expecting the explosive response I got. So, Reddit, AITA for asking to split the rebate?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Past_Mechanic_3844 on 2024-01-04 03:01:51+00:00.

I “donated” a $5,000 bulletproof blanket meant to shield doors, walls, windows, etc for homes cars or classrooms. I’m paranoid and have a child in US public school so I bought one for her classroom (kindergarten). The teacher thought it was weird and I did have to fight the principal on it but ultimately I think they just appeased me by agreeing for it to be stored in the class supply closet. I think the pushback was because they couldn’t just buy one for every class in the school and I agree it probably is over the top.

The problem is that I met some of the future 1st grade teachers at a school event and mentioned to one of them that whoever got my child in their class also got a 5x5 bulletproof blanket along with her. It got some laughs and good natured eye rolls but later, our principal came up to me and said, “so I guess that blanket wasn’t a classroom donation after all, huh?”

I got the impression he was annoyed with me and the whole situation. I did reply back that no technically it wasn’t, I would be donating it every year to whatever class my daughter was in. The vice principal (also standing near me) made a somewhat snarky comment that whoever my child’s future classmates are would be so lucky because they’d be the safest in the school.

I can tell they are annoyed with me and I feel like one of “those” overbearing parents who makes life hell for schools but that’s not my intention. Yes, I am going over the top on this one aspect of giving me peace of mind that there is some type of extra protection for my child while at school. I understand it’s an unlikely event and that if a shooting did happen, the blanket might not even be accessible to her. It just makes me feel better.

But now I’m wondering, is it shitty of me to remove it from the class and basically have the blanket follow my daughter through elementary school? Is the right thing to do just remove it from school completely if I can’t buy one for every class she’s in?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/throwawayforaita7163 on 2024-01-03 22:55:07+00:00.

Okay the title sounds really weird but the situation is that my mom, sister and I are going on vacation and we got a junior suite. I joked about being happy that I’m getting my own room and own peace to which she said that it’s obvious because it would be really weird. I understand that but she continued by saying that if we ever had to share a hotel room I would have to sleep on the floor which made me pretty upset and say what I said.

She thought it was really out of line and that what she said was just the truth. However, I feel like she was talking abour me like I’m some predator when I’m her son.

edit: I much prefer my own bed but it was just the principle that bothered me

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/OfferNo941 on 2024-01-04 02:14:38+00:00.

Hi! This is a throwaway account because my fiance knows my reddit. I'm also on mobile so yea all that obligatory stuff.

For a little intro my Fiance(M27 white) and I (F24 Black) have been engaged for a year and together for 5, and yes before you ask the races will become important. I have one child that is not his biologically (F7) but that is still her daddy and she calls him as such. He loves her like his own and it's honestly been such a blessing and so endearing to watch. We also have a daughter together (F3). And a bundle of joy on the way!

So over the Christmas stretch while everyone was home, me and my fiance, Ryan decided to have a get together at our home. All together it was his 2 siblings, my 3 siblings, his nephew both of my parents and his mother so 9 guest plus our family of 4. Our families love eachother and get along wonderfully except for hie mother. This story pretty much just involves his mom who I will call MIL.

The family gets together on the 26th and is having a pretty good time. My brother pulled me to the side and told me that MIL had made a couple of racist comments towards him ans my parents and also started questioning why "our people" would get so offended by the n-word. I told him I'd handle it later but I did not want to spoil the party. About an hour later things have picked back up and my MIL is playing with my oldest and I hear her say "oh don't you wish that you had hair like (3y/o) and not some heavy braids" and before I could get there saying "you look like your mommy but would be prettier if you had skin like daddy and (3 y/o)" now, my oldest looks like me with pretty dark skin. While my youngest looks exactly like her father...and honestly dosent even look mixed.

When I heard these comments I saw RED I took my kids and nephew up to the playroom came back down and told MIL to get "the hell out of my house and never come back" when my fiance heard the commotion and I told him what happened he was LIVID we kicked my mother in law out without much fight back from her. I apologized to both families and they said it wasnr my fault and understood and we continued to have a great time.

For the past week my MIL has been blasting me on evert social media platform saying im a bitch and everything under the sun. Mt FH has been completely on my side and we sent her a message together about her not being able to see the children anymore and she's blasted and calling me a horrible mother and threatening me. FH father and one brother are angry with me but otherwise people are mostly on my side om starring to think I went a little overboard with everything. And feel bad about my kids not seeing her anymore espically with a new baby on rhe way. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/emmseebee04 on 2024-01-03 20:37:54+00:00.

Context- my sister is 2 years younger than me (I'm 37f) and is getting married. She and I haven't spoken very often for the past 4 years and certainly don't have deep conversations. Due to my family continually gossiping or being judgemental I told them 15 years ago after my first boyfriend any I broke up that they wouldn't be told if I was dating someone until it was serious. To be fair, while I tried online dating for years and have my share of bad first date stories, it's never gone beyond that until this year.

I have been dating someone for over six months. Knowing that my sister was talking about getting engaged and was planning a very short (3 month) engagement, I decided to tell my family that I was in a serious relationship. I also wanted them to meet my bf over Christmas. I didn't want to just show up with a date to family events without letting the hosts (one of my older sisters and her family) know.

I called my older sister in the morning and she was completely okay with meeting my bf. I was excited to share about him. :) that afternoon, my younger sister texted me that she could have gotten a free size 4 wedding dress from Facebook marketplace (in the city I live in) and I asked if she wanted me to pick it up for her. She said no, it wasn't really her style but it would have been fun to try on. Plus, she was waiting for the dress she'd ordered online to arrive. She then sent me a Screenshot of a size 12 wedding dress for $80 with the caption "Here's one for you. Lol. I've tried clicking Facebook to show me less but I haven't been successful yet."

I assumed that she'd found out from our one sister I dating so I sent back a pic of myself and my bf. While she had been immediately responding she now took 4 minutes to respond with, "Who's that?" I told her "my boyfriend". She said, "He looks happy".

I got on the phone with her and asked if she knew I was dating. She said no, she was surprised to hear it. When I said she was rude to send a wedding dress to someone she thought was single and had been for 15 years she told me that I was the one with the problem and she had sent it to me because it was obviously too big for her and something I could actually afford.

I told her congratulations on her upcoming marriage and that obviously we still have difficulty communicating with each other. We both have talked to our sisters and mom about this situation and while I know it's silly, it bothers me that I was told I was the one being rude when I called her rude for sending it. Aita?

Edit- after reading the comments I think it's clear that it's not a simple issue. Some people understand why I was hurt and felt like she was rude. Some people see her side that she was trying to connect and agree that I was rude. I do try to take a step back in situations where I feel emotional. I truly appreciate every single one of you that responded. Life is complicated and emotions even more so. I don't need to know if IATA anymore because the reality is both of us have things to work on. I know I need to not take things personally and at the end of day- this is a ridiculous thing to be upset over when there are so many more truly life altering things to worry about. I'm going to just keep being happy that she's happy and move forward.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Competitive-Push9304 on 2024-01-04 01:52:32+00:00.

My son Matt and my nephew Alex are both 10 and best friends. The day before Xmas eve, my son was going to have a sleepover at our house with seven of his friends because they all wouldn't see each other for a couple of weeks.

Alex came a few hours early and he and Matt spend a long time on the trampoline. When they came inside, they were both sweaty and stinky. I told them to go shower before their friends came over. My son shrugged and went upstairs to shower.

I looked at Alex and asked if he was waiting for an invite. He said I don't have any clothes. I said you can use your pajamas. Make sure you put deodorant on. You can use Matt's if you don't have any. He stared at me. I said go take a shower. He said no.

I said hell no. You don't say no to me. I'm 10 years older than your dad. I made him take showers and I will make you too. I eventually did. The rest of the night was uneventful. They did their secret santa, pizza, video games, etc.

The day after Xmas, my brother calls me and asked me what was this thing about making Alex take a shower. I said he came in sweaty and gross and I told him and Matt to go shower before their friends came over. Matt did, no problem. Getting your kid to take a shower was like getting a cat to take one. He accused me of bullying Alex. I told him to grow up and stop treating Alex like a 4yo.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Lucky_Investigator28 on 2024-01-03 20:35:13+00:00.

So one day I ( 31/F)was watching my Boyfriend's (38/M) daughter(9/F). My boyfriend would get his daughter every other weekend and he had to work on Saturdays so I had to watch her while he would work. He usually got off work in the afternoon like around 5 so one Saturday afternoon, he never came home and I was calling him and he wouldn't answer. Little background story, he was kind of an alcoholic and we would constantly fight whenever he would get drunk. He would tell me that we would stop drinking but he never stuck to his word. So since he didn't answer my phone calls while I was wondering where he was at, I already knew he was out with friends messing around drinking and what not. I was furious that he didn't acknowledge me because I was watching his daughter. And for his job, he was a medical transportor so he would drive patients to their appointments in their company van. So since I was mad, I took it upon myself to call his supervisor and say "hey if I were you, I wouldn't let him take the company van home because he likes to drink and drive" and she says "oh he's not even supposed to take the van home thank you for letting me know" and he told me he was fired the next day. Overall, if I'm babysitting for someone, I feel like they should let me know of they wanna go somewhere else when Im watching their child. Am I the asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/kdnduksbfu on 2024-01-04 01:37:39+00:00.

So I understand people move on after someone dies I know this but my mom passed February 2022 and we had her funeral the end of march the same year. My father already had plans to go to his new girlfriend’s house for Easter that same year. (I wasn’t there because my fiance and I moved to Texas) He moved that same woman in May 2022. She’s only been gone 3 months and he already moved a new woman in and not just some random woman he met at the store, he’s known her for years and had been friends with her for years. He didn’t tell me they even started dating I found out through facebook. It hurt because I felt like my mom was replaced so easily and he didn’t take my feelings into consideration at all. I know it’s his life and his relationship but it was my mom he replaced. I’ve distanced myself and don’t even know if I want him at my wedding at this point because he’s been fighting me the whole way with making his girlfriend comfortable around my mom’s family and basically wants to cater the day to her. Mind you they were married for 25 years.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/bisexualwhore on 2024-01-03 20:12:05+00:00.

I work at Target doing fulfillment (picking and packing orders for pickup and to be shipped out). There’s a new girl who was seasonal and she is obese, like not just a little chunky, she was very big. She was unable to meet goals that are set for us and she was messing up the metrics for us, because she could not go fast enough and would get winded if she tried. Grocery orders are usually the easiest because they have 10-20 items all in the same area, so it’s almost impossible to miss the goals for them, but she would consistently miss them. I had made a comment to my coworker about how frustrating it is that we all get talked to about it even though it’s her and how if you aren’t physically capable of doing a job like this, you shouldn’t do it. My coworker got upset with me saying that I was being inconsiderate and rude for saying that. But I feel like I wasn’t, two years ago I was considered obese, I wouldve never applied to a job where a major part of it is walking and being fast, because I wouldn’t be able to do it. I have nothing against people who are overweight, it’s more of a thing of just knowing what you are and aren’t capable of doing. I wouldn’t try to walk into a paving company and try to get a job, because I can’t do that job. It’s knowing your limits and what you can and can’t do. If you’re missing important goals and not performing like you should be then you shouldn’t continue to work. I just want to know if i’m the AH for being honest about how I felt.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/xmasstraws on 2024-01-03 23:40:22+00:00.

This year, I celebrated Christmas with my fiancé’s family for the first time. Before we went to my fiancé’s parent’s house, my fiancé warned me that his parents usually come short in the amount of food they cook for Christmas dinner and that there’s often not enough for everyone.

What I didn’t expect though was to be expected to participate in the family’s weird tradition. Apparently they have a longstanding tradition where instead of drawing straws, they’ll throw all their underwear in a bin and then go act take turns wearing a blindfold and drawing a pair of underwear from the pile, and drawing the smallest pair of underwear correlates to drawing the smallest straw.

I had never heard of this tradition, so I felt blindsided when right before Christmas dinner, my fiancés mom yelled out that it was time to « pull the straws » to decide the order of who got to plate up their food first in case there wasn’t enough for everyone.

At first I thought the family was joking when they announced this, so I laughed, which made my fiancé get real defensive. I volunteered to get my food last, so I wouldn’t have to participate, but my fiancé just got more annoyed and asked me to just try to be a bit more agreeable.

The whole thing was just kind of weirding me out, so I called an Uber and went home. Now things are real tense between me and my fiancé since he now says I made a bad impression by acting like I was too good for their family tradition. Aita?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/KellyTay-ClareRising on 2024-01-03 19:29:42+00:00.

I (F26) recently went home for the holidays, solo, and flew in and out of JFK airport. My long term boyfriend (M32) and I live together in Southern Connecticut, about an hour drive from the airport during off-peak hours.

My flight out of JFK was at 6 am Saturday morning, and I wanted to get there a few hours early, so ideally leaving our house around 3 am. I had made it known from the beginning that I would appreciate if my bf would drive me to the airport. This was just a natural expectation I had, as I’ve always had family members drop me off or pick me up at airports my whole life. It was just what you do. My bf however considered this to be a huge ask. On his side of the family, there is a very high level of caution when it comes to driving, and that a drive to JFK is something you just don’t do, it’s expected that you just take public transportation or call a car service. My bf himself also has a decent amount of anxiety when it comes to driving. My point was that, we would be driving at a very quiet hour, it would give us some extra time together before I leave, and also it’s just not that bad of a drive! He said ok, and that he would drive me, then on the evening of said he didn’t think he could handle it and called me an Uber.

During my week away, my bf had considered that maybe he was overreacting about the drive (I had told him how empty the highway was during my Uber trip), and said that he would pick my up at JFK when I came home. As the day closer, I could tell he was getting more hesitant about the drive again, and I was getting anxious that he would back out again. He kept hinting at not wanting to do it and said he had begun to feel back pain after a night at the casino with friends. Fast forward to the evening of my flight back East and I get the call that my bf will no longer be picking me up at JFK.

I was with my family in this moment and was visibly upset and disappointed. As I said, everyone in my family just drives each other to the airport so they were genuinely confused as to why I hadn’t been driven to the airport to begin with and I won’t be getting picked up a the airport on my way back. My sister was so upset that I was upset and decided to talk to my boyfriend herself and convinced him to pick me up.

So my bf did end up picking me up at JFK after my flight back. He was however very stressed and continued to express that he and all of his family and friends thought it was absolutely crazy that I expected him to drive the hour from southern CT to JFK to pick me up.

Am I the asshole for expecting rides to and from JFK from my bf?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Substantial_Sea_2391 on 2024-01-03 19:19:29+00:00.

I (29M) have recently questioned my partner’s (33F) attraction to me. I’m 5’10”. Not very tall. I have a decent muscular build but relatively thin. I wear mostly medium clothing but occasionally can fit a large. She’s asked me when we went dancing to wear some shoes that gives me a couple inches in height so that she can wear heels and still be taller. She’s 5’8”. I didn’t mind and complied. Now she buys me clothes occasionally and they are all large. I don’t like how they fit but I wear them to make her happy. A couple days ago she made a comment about large being the average size clothes for men. I asked if she had a problem with my size and she said no but I pressed the comment. I told her it doesn’t make since for her to make the comment and by me large clothes if she doesn’t mind my size. We didn’t fight about it but am I being an asshole by reading too much into it?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/throwawayforaita7163 on 2024-01-03 22:55:07+00:00.

Okay the title sounds really weird but the situation is that my mom, sister and I are going on vacation and we got a junior suite. I joked about being happy that I’m getting my own room and own peace to which she said that it’s obvious because it would be really weird. I understand that but she continued by saying that if we ever had to share a hotel room I would have to sleep on the floor which made me pretty upset and say what I said.

She thought it was really out of line and that what she said was just the truth. However, I feel like she was talking abour me like I’m some predator when I’m her son.

edit: I much prefer my own bed but it was just the principle that bothered me

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Traditional-Cod594 on 2024-01-03 19:18:45+00:00.

I live in an old building and I have an autistic child who is severe and is also adhd. He often has meltdowns when I get my children from their father. He has been alienating me from the children for quite some time. My neighbor downstairs would message me complaining about her apartment shaking and the noise. Now by time she messages me I'm already actively working to subdue the meltdown but they can take time. She claims she understands, that she first stated an energetic niece and then about a month later states she has 5 autistic nephews but then goes on to say how she has a right to peace and quiet which she's not wrong there, we all do. She comes from the city and we live on a busy street so there is hustle and bustle 24/7. I get my children every other weekend as of right now. I had to block her because she was doing this even over the holiday and I was already stressed out with how the children's Father was treating me and trying to take Christmas from me for the second year in a row. She resorted to beating on her ceiling and admitted it via text, was balring music and singing her heart out which I didn't mind at all and never complained about it because I saw that as a positive thing with her getting into a happy groove and I liked the music she was playing. Her dogs bark now and again and I can hear it but again didn't complain because dogs, like children will be just what they are. I am a disabled Veteran and I have some mental health disorders that have been affected by her actions.

AITA for blocking her to keep the peace, even though she will probably contact the police at some point and later look foolish for this when it is found that it involves and autistic child.

AITA for blocking her knowing my triggers and avoiding conflict?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Passion0xpe on 2024-01-03 18:58:31+00:00.

My(21M) gf(20F) came over to my place and we were just doing some college assignments playing Music in the Background. She was playing Taylor Swift all along and i asked her to not play Taylor Swift. Then she went on and on about how i don't like Taylor Swift, never listen to her songs, don't care about her (she is a huge swiftie) and how i am a Kanye West fan(I don't like him either). So AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/passphole on 2024-01-03 18:31:34+00:00.

I live in 3rd world country in what is considered illegal accommodation. My landlord who built the houses here charges me a monthly rent but keeps coming up with reasons to demand extra money like needing it to pay the city so they don't destroy everything even though he is well connected to city bureaucrats.

My daughter left the country about one decade ago and went to England and recently came visiting. She now works in London and make sixty thousand pounds a year and I know she has about 8 thousand pound saved.

I asked her for some money to help as my landlord recently asked more money and I have to pay for a training course for my son and my sons wedding. With the landlord's new request I will have little left.

She said she cannot help despite having so much and claims she needs money for a new rent deposit when she moves and says she has loans. Yet I know she travels a lot and posts pictures but she claims it is for work.

I tried to plead with landlord to no avail but he said if I give him my daughter's England passport and make sure it is not reported lost before 2 weeks he would not ask the money and give me 5 months off rent.

This agreement would help me a lot so I agreed and secretly gave it to him. I didn't tell my daughter until 1 week when my landlord said is ok and said to say it is lost and not stolen.

My daughter got very upset with me and is barely speaking to me but she has declared it lost and will get another one and just had to move her flight a little bit.

I know it is technically not right and landlord is into many wrong businesses but I don't feel like I was not justifies as she would not help me and I found a way where there is no negative consequences to her besides returning a few days late.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Most_Engineering703 on 2024-01-03 18:04:01+00:00.

I (31m) have issues with restricting food, especially sweets. I have a really bad sweet tooth. I eat when I am bored and especially to avoid feeling feelings. I have struggled with being overweight all my life.

I share a house with my older brother and younger sister, we got a place together. My sister on the other hand is the opposite of me. She has been very thin all her life, to the point where our mother feared if she had an eating disorder and tried getting her help with doctors. My sister is 29. But she has also been blessed with a crazy fast metabolism and whatever she eats doesn't put anything onto her body.

So for Christmas my sister told everyone in the family that she would like food, any type of food for her presents. We have a big family so she got all kinds of things from everyone. My sister is religious so she did the 40 day fast for Christmas. She was even concerning my parents by barely eating again.

So after Christmas, her fasting ended. She has been eating all her food painfully slow. All the food she got is such a huge temptation for me. Like from our mother, she gifted her mini cannolis. She has been letting them sit there in the freezer for a week now. So I asked her if I could have one and she agreed to it. I couldn't stop at one, I ate almost the entire container, leaving her with only one cannoli.

Actually my sister's biggest pet peeve is when someone eats her food. I know this but at the same time it's almost impossible for me to resist eating. When she eventually found out I left her with one cannoli, she told me to please not eat all her food, especially the desserts. I said ok but I know deep down it'll happen again.

Well I ate all of her kimchi which she got three containers of. Along with all kinds of other food she got. She blew up on me and has resorted to hiding her food. I just want to know, am I really the asshole? She's letting it sit there eventually someone will eat it.