Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/pineapple_bandit on 2024-01-02 15:26:13+00:00.

My husband and I arrived at an independent boutique hotel in a vacation town at around 8pm on Christmas eve. We are in our 40s/50s and my husband has some ankle and foot problems that crop up periodically that cause him to use a cane for weeks or months at a time. This was one of those times, and when we arrived at the hotel he was using a cane.

When we checked in to the hotel the person informed us that the hotel is spread over 2 buildings on a single city block, and that our room is in the other building. He pointed to a large man and said that man would show us to our room. You have to go outside the main building and walk roughly 1 city block outside to reach the other building.

The man who was to show us to our room said "follow me" and walked outside without offering to take either of our (small) roller bags or (small) backpacks. Ok, I guessed he isn't a bellman, he is just showing us how to get to the room since it's a little confusing to have to walk outside the building.

The man is walking very fast, while I'm walking slowly with my husband who is using his cane (while also dragging his roller bag). The man gets almost to the corner when he realizes that we are half a block behind him. So he stops and waits for us. We catch up and the man continued. He rounds the corner and wades through a crowd standing in front of a restaurant next to the hotel lobby door, up 4 steps and through the lobby door. My husband and I drag our bags through this crowd, up the steps, and into the lobby to the elevator. It is at that moment that the man says "oh let me take your bags". He rolls our bags into the elevator and then into our rooms (which is right in front of elevator on 2nd floor). He turns on the lights and shows us the windows blinds etc. Then stands there looking at us, clearly expecting a tip.

I was raised by barely working class folks who subsided on tips, so I ALWAYS tip generously, especially on holidays. But here I was stumped and angry. Typically I would tip a bellman $3-5 for each bag they assisted with, but this guy didn't assist us with anything. I looked over at my husband sittiing on the bed rubbing his ankle. Then I thanked the guy for his help, wished him a merry Christmas and sent him on his way without a tip.

My husband agreed that it was weird the way he ran ahead of us and didn't help with our bags, but thought we should have given him a small tip anyway, especially since its a holiday. AITA?

Tl/dr: AITA for not tipping a bellman who did not assist my disabled husband with his luggage?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ThrwayMILDiaper on 2024-01-02 15:10:06+00:00.

Me (29F) and my husband (31M) have a son (3M) and a baby girl on the way.

As a baby, my son developed a severe allergy to diapers. He'd get awful rashes that took way too long to get better, and nothing we did helped much. Due to that, my husband and I decided to start potty training a bit early (right before he was 18 months old). We talked to his pediatrician and relied on cloth diapers as much as we could. After a few months of that, he'd almost grown out of his allergy, but we kept going.

Today, he's fully potty trained. He has some (very) rare accidents, but only when he tries to delay his bathroom trips for too long. When that happens, we wash him up and replace his underwear.

My husband's mother was firmly against our decision to potty train our son early. She insisted that it would lead to IBS, and that he should wear diapers until he was at least three. She tried to convince us to change our minds for months, but we held our ground.

In early December, I had a doctor's appointment while my husband was at work, so I left our son with my MIL for a couple hours. Some time later, she called me and said my son had a (bathroom) accident. He hadn't had one in months. I instructed her on how to proceed, as well as where to find the spare clothes I'd packed for him.

I picked him up about an hour later. On our way home, he complained about being "itchy". I didn't know why until I got him ready for bathtime later that night. He was wearing a diaper.

He didn't get any rashes, but the diaper was a couple sizes too small and he hadn't worn one in a long time, so I think that's where the itchiness came from. When I asked him about it, he confirmed my MIL had said he was "still a baby" and put him in the diaper.

When my husband and I confronted her about it, she defended herself by saying his accident was clear proof we'd made a mistake by potty training him early, and he should go back to wearing diapers for the time being. At no point did she apologize.

We decided she was forbidden from babysitting, as well as spending time with our son unsupervised. She didn't think we were serious until we went to her place on Saturday. We had to go to the hospital, and rather than leaving our son with her, we took him with us.

Now that she knows we're serious, she's calling us dramatic and ungrateful, as well as claiming we're alienating her from her grandchildren out of stubbornness. She maintains she was right about early potty training being a bad idea, and was only trying to help us.

I don't think we're in the wrong, but this does feel a bit dramatic. My BIL, who was skeptical of our decision back in the day, thinks we're right to be angry, but it's still an overreaction to revoke her rights to babysit our son.

AITA?

EDIT: I feel the need to point out the diaper was clean when I removed it. Also, my son will be four years old in February.

EDIT 2: MIL is not our only babysitting option. My mom and stepdad, my sister, my BIL and my best friend also babysit.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ThrowRA1909999 on 2024-01-02 17:23:10+00:00.

When my niece Ana was 9, her mom found out about my older brother cheating on her.

It had been going on for more than 2 or 3 years and my ex SIL was devastated. She moved out and filed for divorce. She was in a poor financial state so she couldn't take Ana with her and Ana didn't want to stay with her dad (ex SIL told her about the affair and all the details). So I took Ana in.

During the divorce proceedings ex SIL died in a car accident. She was drunk driving.

My brother moved his affair partner (my current SIL) into his house 1 month after his ex wife's death. They married and started their own family. My brother tried to reach out to Ana but my niece wasn't having it. She's fought and argued all the way and after several months of yelling and crying, my brother asked me to take Ana in as his new wife was expecting a baby and Ana was being aggressive to both of them.

I gladly took my niece in and since then, she's lived with me. Though, my brother was financially responsible for her studies, everyday needs, college etc. I was a fun uncle that she just felt comfortable with and relied on for company. She stopped being close to a lot of our family members as they slowly started accepting the new wife and her kids. Ana never got close to the new kids and often threw fits if I spent too much time with them.

It wasn't healthy and I tried to get her into therapy and though it helped her move on, she never quite repaired her relationship with her dad.

Recently, Ana got engaged to her HS sweetheart. She told me but the rest of the family had to find out from social media.

This Christmas, when Ana came (after I requested her to join us) everyone congratulated her and asked details. Ana didn't really answer them much and didn't say anything about inviting them. She rejected my brother's offer to pay for the wedding.

Then, when everyone was opening the gifts, Ana told me that her gift to me was she wanted me to walk her down the aisle.

My immediate reaction was to say yes and hug her. But obviously it was shocking to everyone else and really hurtful to my brother. He asked her how she could do this to him and Ana simply said I don't want a cheater to walk me down the aisle. More arguements ensued but Ana didn't budge and left the next morning before everyone woke up.

After the adults discussed and comforted my brother, he told me he doesn't want me to walk her down the aisle. I said I won't do that and it's not my fault Ana hasn't forgiven you yet. He said I was being an ass and putting more fuel to the fire.

My sisters also said maybe if I said no, Ana might reconsider. But I don't want to do that. I've always been there for Ana and she's always relied on me. So, WIBTA if I went ahead and walked my niece down the aisle?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Maleficent_Piano_840 on 2024-01-02 16:36:32+00:00.

I [27F] have been with my fiancé [29M] for 4, almost 5 years now. He is a South Asian Muslim, but was born here in America, while I am White and Christian. He is not very religious, but I am fairly devout in my own faith. His family is also fairly religious and his mother and sister both wear hijab. We live on the west coast, but both of our families are on the east coast, but my family lives in the south and his family lives in the north so they are far away from each other. This is all relevant.

The two of us flew out to visit my family for Christmas and New Year's. We flew in on the 22nd and the plan was to stay until the 2nd, when we'd be flying back home. His dad has been fairly sick for a while, and just a day after we arrived at my parent's house, he passed away. This was unexpected, since he'd been doing better recently. Obviously my fiancé was devastated and instantly booked us both flights so that we could attend his funeral together. We would've flown out on the 24th, so the flights were fairly expensive, booked last minute as well. Of course, I was sad to miss Christmas with my family and my parents were very disappointed, but I was happy to go to support him.

However, a few hours before we were going to fly out, he informs me that I'll have to wear a hijab to enter the mosque for the service, and would not be allowed to go to the graveyard either. I did not feel comfortable doing this, so I told him I would rather not go. I figured if I couldn't attend the service, I might as well just stay with my parents so we could still do Christmas together, and he could come back to join us. This was a very hard decision for me to make, but my parents helped me a lot in making it.

My fiancé seemed okay with the decision and left without me, although before he left he asked if I couldn't just come and not attend the service. He attended the service, but he hasn't come back, and told me on the 29th he'd be doing New Years there and hasn't messaged me since. His sister, who I've always been close with, texted me and told me how disappointed she was in me and that what I did was wrong. I don't think I did anything wrong since I couldn't attend the service anyway. She also said I should've at least paid him back for the flight that he got for me, but it was almost $1000, and I simply can't afford that. My fiancé makes almost 5 times as much as I do, and his family is also very wealthy, so I know the money is not an issue. My parents agree with me and said that it was important to spend Christmas with them, especially since it's the first after being engaged. They also think it was wrong of him to completely abandon me and our plans for New Years. My sister said I should've gone anyway to support him. AITA?

Edit: I would just like to mention that my parents (and me as well) wanted him for New Years to show him their support since we are his family now too. Not to party or anything. And plus, his sister posted a picture of him, her, their other sister, and his childhood best friend all laughing together and captioned it "making sure your brother brings in the new year with the three women who love him most" (probably because she knew it would make me upset) so it's not like he couldn't have spent New Year's with us.

Edit 2: I wasn't being selfish at all. I understood that his needs took priority, but I just don't think there was any point to going if I couldn't attend the service, especially since he was supposed to come right back and I could give him all the support he needed. If I had known he was going to stay longer, I would've flown out to see him. I'm respecting his needs by allowing him to have as much as space as he needs and allowing him to spend time with his best friend, despite the fact that he knows I don't like her. It's not like I'm unwilling to make sacrifices for him.

Edit 3: My objections to wearing the hijab wasn't just strictly religious. I understand that it wouldn't make me any less Christian, but it just felt wrong and it made me feel uncomfortable to participate in something I don't believe in. Yes, his best friend did attend the service and yes she did wear a hijab as well even though she is White and Catholic. However, I understand that she was also very close with his dad since she knew him most of his life. I recognize now that I still should've traveled to be with him and his family, and that spending Christmas with my family wasn't as important. However, this was my first Christmas engaged, the first one without my grandfather, and my family was all really looking forward to celebrating this new chapter. My parents had also expressed concerns that we wouldn't be able to celebrate Christmas together since my fiancé doesn't celebrate it and they were afraid it wouldn't be as important for us, so it was sort of a sensitive issue for everyone. I was trying my best to keep the peace.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/New-Battle-5375 on 2024-01-02 16:35:34+00:00.

In March I'm taking my family on vacation to Nicaragua. This is a trip I've been planning for a couple years and is somewhat of a splurge for me.

I have 6 children (31M, 30M, 19F, 16M, 9F, 7M). My oldest son is paying for himself and his 2 sons (7M, 5M), and I'm paying the costs for everyone else including my 30 y/o's fiancé and my 16 y/o sons’ best friend.

My girlfriend is also coming with us and I'm paying for her and her 5 y/o daughter.

My 19 y/o daughter asked me if her boyfriend (of 15 months) could come with us on vacation. My answer was yes but that he would have to pay the extra costs (flights, excursions, etc). We're renting a house and my daughter would be getting her own room anyway so he could stay in there for no extra cost.

According to her, the only reason her boyfriend isn't coming is because he can't "afford" it. This essentially translates to his parents have refused to pay for it. I know his parents are wealthy and in fact are currently on vacation. My daughter is not with them and from what I know was not invited.

My daughter has been begging me to just pay for him so he can come. My answer has remained no, and we have argued quite a lot about it.

One of her biggest objections is that I am paying for multiple other non-family members and that her older brother (30M) is old enough to be paying for himself. She has not agreed with my defences.

When it comes to my 30 y/o and his fiancé, they would have chosen not to come if I was not covering the bigger expenses for them. They are paying for a wedding in May and don't have money for a trip like this right now. I love them both and wanted them to come which is why I'm happy to pay for them.

My 16 y/o has been best friends with the kid that's coming with us since 1st grade. He's been raised by a single mom, dad's not in the picture and money's always been tight for them. He's never been on a proper vacation, and he spends so much time at my house he is practically family.

My daughter's biggest issue is my paying for my girlfriend and her daughter, which she then escalated to be about any of the money I've spent of my gf. I told her it was none of her business how I spend money on my partner or how we split expenses. I earn 3x as much as my gf why would I expect her to split costs evenly.

My daughter is upset with me right now and I feel bad but don't really think I'm being an asshole. My gf thinks I was being an asshole during an argument with my daughter because I pointed out the people I'm paying for are the people I want to be there, obviously making her think I just don't want her bf there, even though I have a neutral stance on it. My gf thinks I should cut my losses and just pay for the bf. I think she's just saying this because she feels bad my daughter turned it into an issue about her. Am I being the asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/BeautifulExplorer363 on 2024-01-02 15:46:15+00:00.

So this has been a long thing coming. My soon to be husband has a sister let’s call her Mia. Now Mia and I do not click very well. I am polite but I wouldn’t say we are friends. I felt I was forced by his family to make her a bridesmaid or she will be sad.

I am going to be blunt, Mia is fat and very insecure about it. This has led bridesmaid dresses shopping to be a nightmare. Never could find something she wants and all the other bridesmaid and me liking it. So I gave everyone two options to vote on. Option one was getting a dress that can be styled multiple ways, or picking from a collection so everyone matches but they will need to pay for it. Option two was I will buy everyone’s dress but what I chose the dress and my decision is final.

My five bridesmaids voted and options two won. So I picked out a blue strapless dress with a mini slit. I really like it and I knew Mia would have an issue with it. I sent a picture to all the bridesmaid and confirming the right size before I ordered it.

This is where it blew up. Mia was pissed I picked a revealing dress. This resulted in an argument where she thinks I am a huge jerk and I told her she can step down if she has issues with the dress.

She tried to get the family on her side but everyone knows I gave them options and had watched me struggle to find something everyone wants.

Edit: she voted for the option where I pay for the dress. I truly didn’t ask her since her and MIL announced she was one of my bridesmaid at a family gathering. The only way to keep peace with the whole family was basically giving her what she wanted.

I also have gone to 4 different shops to find a dress for everyone.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/pineapple_bandit on 2024-01-02 15:26:13+00:00.

My husband and I arrived at an independent boutique hotel in a vacation town at around 8pm on Christmas eve. We are in our 40s/50s and my husband has some ankle and foot problems that crop up periodically that cause him to use a cane for weeks or months at a time. This was one of those times, and when we arrived at the hotel he was using a cane.

When we checked in to the hotel the person informed us that the hotel is spread over 2 buildings on a single city block, and that our room is in the other building. He pointed to a large man and said that man would show us to our room. You have to go outside the main building and walk roughly 1 city block outside to reach the other building.

The man who was to show us to our room said "follow me" and walked outside without offering to take either of our (small) roller bags or (small) backpacks. Ok, I guessed he isn't a bellman, he is just showing us how to get to the room since it's a little confusing to have to walk outside the building.

The man is walking very fast, while I'm walking slowly with my husband who is using his cane (while also dragging his roller bag). The man gets almost to the corner when he realizes that we are half a block behind him. So he stops and waits for us. We catch up and the man continued. He rounds the corner and wades through a crowd standing in front of a restaurant next to the hotel lobby door, up 4 steps and through the lobby door. My husband and I drag our bags through this crowd, up the steps, and into the lobby to the elevator. It is at that moment that the man says "oh let me take your bags". He rolls our bags into the elevator and then into our rooms (which is right in front of elevator on 2nd floor). He turns on the lights and shows us the windows blinds etc. Then stands there looking at us, clearly expecting a tip.

I was raised by barely working class folks who subsided on tips, so I ALWAYS tip generously, especially on holidays. But here I was stumped and angry. Typically I would tip a bellman $3-5 for each bag they assisted with, but this guy didn't assist us with anything. I looked over at my husband sittiing on the bed rubbing his ankle. Then I thanked the guy for his help, wished him a merry Christmas and sent him on his way without a tip.

My husband agreed that it was weird the way he ran ahead of us and didn't help with our bags, but thought we should have given him a small tip anyway, especially since its a holiday. AITA?

Tl/dr: AITA for not tipping a bellman who did not assist my disabled husband with his luggage?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ThrwayMILDiaper on 2024-01-02 15:10:06+00:00.

Me (29F) and my husband (31M) have a son (3M) and a baby girl on the way.

As a baby, my son developed a severe allergy to diapers. He'd get awful rashes that took way too long to get better, and nothing we did helped much. Due to that, my husband and I decided to start potty training a bit early (right before he was 18 months old). We talked to his pediatrician and relied on cloth diapers as much as we could. After a few months of that, he'd almost grown out of his allergy, but we kept going.

Today, he's fully potty trained. He has some (very) rare accidents, but only when he tries to delay his bathroom trips for too long. When that happens, we wash him up and replace his underwear.

My husband's mother was firmly against our decision to potty train our son early. She insisted that it would lead to IBS, and that he should wear diapers until he was at least three. She tried to convince us to change our minds for months, but we held our ground.

In early December, I had a doctor's appointment while my husband was at work, so I left our son with my MIL for a couple hours. Some time later, she called me and said my son had a (bathroom) accident. He hadn't had one in months. I instructed her on how to proceed, as well as where to find the spare clothes I'd packed for him.

I picked him up about an hour later. On our way home, he complained about being "itchy". I didn't know why until I got him ready for bathtime later that night. He was wearing a diaper.

He didn't get any rashes, but the diaper was a couple sizes too small and he hadn't worn one in a long time, so I think that's where the itchiness came from. When I asked him about it, he confirmed my MIL had said he was "still a baby" and put him in the diaper.

When my husband and I confronted her about it, she defended herself by saying his accident was clear proof we'd made a mistake by potty training him early, and he should go back to wearing diapers for the time being. At no point did she apologize.

We decided she was forbidden from babysitting, as well as spending time with our son unsupervised. She didn't think we were serious until we went to her place on Saturday. We had to go to the hospital, and rather than leaving our son with her, we took him with us.

Now that she knows we're serious, she's calling us dramatic and ungrateful, as well as claiming we're alienating her from her grandchildren out of stubbornness. She maintains she was right about early potty training being a bad idea, and was only trying to help us.

I don't think we're in the wrong, but this does feel a bit dramatic. My BIL, who was skeptical of our decision back in the day, thinks we're right to be angry, but it's still an overreaction to revoke her rights to babysit our son.

AITA?

EDIT: I feel the need to point out the diaper was clean when I removed it. Also, my son will be four years old in February.

EDIT 2: MIL is not our only babysitting option. My mom and stepdad, my sister, my BIL and my best friend also babysit.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Fresh_Ad_7431 on 2024-01-02 15:07:39+00:00.

I (31f) have a half sister, “Ellen” (34f). Same dad, different moms, no I’m not the result of an affair.

Ellen and I are not close, and never have been, we only saw each other at family get togethers. Ellen has a husband “Tom” (34). Tom is a nice guy, and when she introduced him to the family, he and my husband hit it off, and my husband ended up hiring Tom to work for him.

Tom and Ellen’s got married and had a baby, and during this time they started having problems. I didn’t hear this from Ellen, but from my dad, and from my husband, who was told by Tom. Tom then started staying really late at work and then progressed to coming over to our house often for drinks with my husband, and by extension, me. He became a regular visitor to our house, and began unloading his problems.

This went on for about 8 months until one evening Tom was quite tipsy and admitted he’d developed “a crush” on me. Understandably, this meant he didn’t come back to our house (he has profusely apologised for this and we’re fine now, but obviously I just prefer some distance).

I guess that whole thing was a wake up call for him because he and Ellen started going to counselling. During the counselling, he told her about what had happened, because Ellen called me and screamed at me for the whole situation. She said she and Tom would never be in the same room with me again after “what I’d done”. She made excuses for not coming to family gatherings I was at for a while before my dad confronted her and she said she and I had fallen out and weren’t speaking. I went along with this because I didn’t want to tell my dad the truth either. It has been over a year of this.

But this all came to a head over my dad inviting both of us and our families to NYE and getting mad that Ellen wouldn’t come if I was going. He started ranting at me that we needed to grow up and make peace and if we didn’t want to talk to each other fine but not being able to be in the same room was nuts. I got sick of being berated and said I agree but it wasn’t me who started it. My dad then demanded to know what the fight was about and wouldn’t let up. Eventually I just told him.

He’s furious. He called Ellen and yelled at her, he called my husband and yelled at him. He is seething that no one told him and that he has been acting like things are fine with Tom this whole time. Ellen is furious with me for telling Dad, saying I did this on purpose and have ruined things with Tom after she’d worked so hard to fix them.

I feel bad for the results, but I also feel like carrying the burden of this rift that I didn’t cause was unfair on me in the first place. I kept quiet when I didn’t have to, but once I was getting heat over it it just became too much. AITA for spilling?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Fresh_Ad_7431 on 2024-01-02 15:07:39+00:00.

I (31f) have a half sister, “Ellen” (34f). Same dad, different moms, no I’m not the result of an affair.

Ellen and I are not close, and never have been, we only saw each other at family get togethers. Ellen has a husband “Tom” (34). Tom is a nice guy, and when she introduced him to the family, he and my husband hit it off, and my husband ended up hiring Tom to work for him.

Tom and Ellen’s got married and had a baby, and during this time they started having problems. I didn’t hear this from Ellen, but from my dad, and from my husband, who was told by Tom. Tom then started staying really late at work and then progressed to coming over to our house often for drinks with my husband, and by extension, me. He became a regular visitor to our house, and began unloading his problems.

This went on for about 8 months until one evening Tom was quite tipsy and admitted he’d developed “a crush” on me. Understandably, this meant he didn’t come back to our house (he has profusely apologised for this and we’re fine now, but obviously I just prefer some distance).

I guess that whole thing was a wake up call for him because he and Ellen started going to counselling. During the counselling, he told her about what had happened, because Ellen called me and screamed at me for the whole situation. She said she and Tom would never be in the same room with me again after “what I’d done”. She made excuses for not coming to family gatherings I was at for a while before my dad confronted her and she said she and I had fallen out and weren’t speaking. I went along with this because I didn’t want to tell my dad the truth either. It has been over a year of this.

But this all came to a head over my dad inviting both of us and our families to NYE and getting mad that Ellen wouldn’t come if I was going. He started ranting at me that we needed to grow up and make peace and if we didn’t want to talk to each other fine but not being able to be in the same room was nuts. I got sick of being berated and said I agree but it wasn’t me who started it. My dad then demanded to know what the fight was about and wouldn’t let up. Eventually I just told him.

He’s furious. He called Ellen and yelled at her, he called my husband and yelled at him. He is seething that no one told him and that he has been acting like things are fine with Tom this whole time. Ellen is furious with me for telling Dad, saying I did this on purpose and have ruined things with Tom after she’d worked so hard to fix them.

I feel bad for the results, but I also feel like carrying the burden of this rift that I didn’t cause was unfair on me in the first place. I kept quiet when I didn’t have to, but once I was getting heat over it it just became too much. AITA for spilling?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Special-Ear-1380 on 2024-01-02 14:37:09+00:00.

I work and make all of the money. Rent is $3.6k a month, she pays $600 and I pay the rest.

Before we moved in I told her:

Because of the stress of my job I don’t really keep things organized, and have a maid that comes by and straightens things up.

So honestly don’t expect me to do any of the chores… besides putting clothes in the wash, and putting dishes, in the dishwasher, and taking out the trash.

She agreed, and said she doesn’t mind doing all the household chores.

She stays at home and is looking a job right now, I wanted to help her out by inviting her in. She brought her cat, (that I’m allergic too). And I’ve accommodated my life to her.

I pay for all the groceries, utility, everything except the rent (which she pays 10-20%) of.

My name is on the property as well.

Am I the asshole for being mad at her for sending me a passive aggressive text message this morning, complaining that I left the bathroom table unorganized?

My point to her was: I gave you the expectations before you moved, that I cover all the finances, and you can do the house chores.

It it really that big of a deal that I left the bathroom table unorganized while working, when I’m simply doing what I said I’d do?

UPDATE:

TO ADD CONTEXT, THE “UNORGNIZATION” on the counter WAS 3 SERUM BOTTLES OPEN.

I AM NOT A SLOB.

I do trash, laundry and dishes.

I’d have the maid come by and do everything else.

Girlfriend moved in with me, and offered to do everything for me. Because of everything else I do financially.

We agreed.

She got mad because I left 3 serum bottles open on the table.

I got mad because she got mad over 3 serum bottles, despite everything I do and me upholding my end of the agreement.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Fantastic-Study463 on 2024-01-02 12:29:43+00:00.

So my dad, my stepmom and me (16M) have been in family therapy for around 3 months now. It started out because my stepmom started to have some concerns about our family she wanted addressed. Our last session before Christmas a few things were brought up and asked and I decided to be honest. I admitted that my dad had lied to my stepmom about me asking him if she would adopt me and be my mom. This happened when I was 7. The second thing is admitting I never wanted to be adopted and I wish I hadn't been adopted back then and if the choice were given to me today I would say no.

I was asked some questions by the therapist, stuff we had discussed a little prior in a solo session, and I was truthful. That while I have love for my stepmom I do not love her the way a kid loves their mom or dad or how I love my mom. I also admitted that it would feel weird to me to live with her if dad were gone and I have other family members (paternal grandparents and maternal grandpa) who would be my choice. I admitted that I kept quiet because my dad basically told me what was happening and he made it clear he would not tolerate me hurting or disrespecting my stepmom by telling her I didn't want her. I also said it frustrated me sometimes to know the adoption isn't reversable because that's something I would do.

My stepmom was furious at my dad. She admitted she had been told by my dad that I went to him privately about wanting to be adopted and how much I loved her. She was also led to believe I didn't remember my mom at all and really felt nothing for her... I was 5 when my mom died so my memories are not great but I have some. She also talked about how dad told her that I was worried about being replaced when they had kids and she went out of her way to be extra attentive and loving because she hated that I felt that way. But I confirmed I had never felt that way. I admitted I felt kinda bad before she had kids because the kid she loves as her own and claims as her own didn't think of her as his mom and would never return that love back in the way she deserved. I admitted it was a relief when she had kids of her own.

My dad is furious at me because things have been tense and there were a lot of very high emotions all through Christmas. He told me I had destroyed the woman who adopted me and gave me all her love and care and I had destroyed his second marriage. He also said I destroyed it all for some fuzzy memories of my mom and it's not what she would have wanted. I asked him if he really knew that. Then he went off about my grandpa and said he had no right to tell me that my mom had been terrified of being replaced and that she probably wouldn't have wanted me to be adopted or call another woman mom. I told him it was the first time I heard about that (truth, grandpa never said shit to me about it). My dad told me so I just decided to shit all over my stepmom and his marriage for nothing.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Fantastic-Study463 on 2024-01-02 12:29:43+00:00.

So my dad, my stepmom and me (16M) have been in family therapy for around 3 months now. It started out because my stepmom started to have some concerns about our family she wanted addressed. Our last session before Christmas a few things were brought up and asked and I decided to be honest. I admitted that my dad had lied to my stepmom about me asking him if she would adopt me and be my mom. This happened when I was 7. The second thing is admitting I never wanted to be adopted and I wish I hadn't been adopted back then and if the choice were given to me today I would say no.

I was asked some questions by the therapist, stuff we had discussed a little prior in a solo session, and I was truthful. That while I have love for my stepmom I do not love her the way a kid loves their mom or dad or how I love my mom. I also admitted that it would feel weird to me to live with her if dad were gone and I have other family members (paternal grandparents and maternal grandpa) who would be my choice. I admitted that I kept quiet because my dad basically told me what was happening and he made it clear he would not tolerate me hurting or disrespecting my stepmom by telling her I didn't want her. I also said it frustrated me sometimes to know the adoption isn't reversable because that's something I would do.

My stepmom was furious at my dad. She admitted she had been told by my dad that I went to him privately about wanting to be adopted and how much I loved her. She was also led to believe I didn't remember my mom at all and really felt nothing for her... I was 5 when my mom died so my memories are not great but I have some. She also talked about how dad told her that I was worried about being replaced when they had kids and she went out of her way to be extra attentive and loving because she hated that I felt that way. But I confirmed I had never felt that way. I admitted I felt kinda bad before she had kids because the kid she loves as her own and claims as her own didn't think of her as his mom and would never return that love back in the way she deserved. I admitted it was a relief when she had kids of her own.

My dad is furious at me because things have been tense and there were a lot of very high emotions all through Christmas. He told me I had destroyed the woman who adopted me and gave me all her love and care and I had destroyed his second marriage. He also said I destroyed it all for some fuzzy memories of my mom and it's not what she would have wanted. I asked him if he really knew that. Then he went off about my grandpa and said he had no right to tell me that my mom had been terrified of being replaced and that she probably wouldn't have wanted me to be adopted or call another woman mom. I told him it was the first time I heard about that (truth, grandpa never said shit to me about it). My dad told me so I just decided to shit all over my stepmom and his marriage for nothing.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Icy_System_1038 on 2024-01-02 11:45:04+00:00.

I (23f) am planning to move in with my bf of 1 year, Ben (27m). I currently live in an apartment owned by my dad. It’s a nice apartment, 3 bedrooms, in an area convenient for work, transport, and socialising.

When Ben and I started discussing living together, I said I didn’t want to move. I love rent free, in a very desirable area, with far more space than the two of us would be able to afford if we rented ourselves. Ben agreed, and was happy to move into my place since he lives much further out from the city centre where transport isn’t as good.

When we told my dad we’d like Ben to move in, my dad said that was fine, he’d be happy for Ben to pay the same rent he pays now when he moves in (this is, monetarily, an incredible deal, as Ben’s current rent is about 1/5th of what my apartment would be worth on the rental market). Ben was really surprised and said we’d talk more about it.

Basically, Ben thinks if he moves in with me he shouldn’t have to pay rent because I’m not. I said it’s not the same because it’s my dad, he wouldn’t take money from me. I pointed out to Ben he would be moving to a better area, bigger place, not having to pay bills, essentially for free, but he still said he’s not okay with being the only one of us paying rent, and wants to find another place.

I think this is an extremely petty reason to want to find a new place. If my place was inconvenient for him work-wise, or the price was extortionate, or he wanted to buy a place, literally any logical reason I would compromise. But this just seems like he’s playing a game of tit for tat. His rent would be the same, I don’t see why it matters to him whether I’m paying rent or not, and I don’t want to move.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Icy_System_1038 on 2024-01-02 11:45:04+00:00.

I (23f) am planning to move in with my bf of 1 year, Ben (27m). I currently live in an apartment owned by my dad. It’s a nice apartment, 3 bedrooms, in an area convenient for work, transport, and socialising.

When Ben and I started discussing living together, I said I didn’t want to move. I love rent free, in a very desirable area, with far more space than the two of us would be able to afford if we rented ourselves. Ben agreed, and was happy to move into my place since he lives much further out from the city centre where transport isn’t as good.

When we told my dad we’d like Ben to move in, my dad said that was fine, he’d be happy for Ben to pay the same rent he pays now when he moves in (this is, monetarily, an incredible deal, as Ben’s current rent is about 1/5th of what my apartment would be worth on the rental market). Ben was really surprised and said we’d talk more about it.

Basically, Ben thinks if he moves in with me he shouldn’t have to pay rent because I’m not. I said it’s not the same because it’s my dad, he wouldn’t take money from me. I pointed out to Ben he would be moving to a better area, bigger place, not having to pay bills, essentially for free, but he still said he’s not okay with being the only one of us paying rent, and wants to find another place.

I think this is an extremely petty reason to want to find a new place. If my place was inconvenient for him work-wise, or the price was extortionate, or he wanted to buy a place, literally any logical reason I would compromise. But this just seems like he’s playing a game of tit for tat. His rent would be the same, I don’t see why it matters to him whether I’m paying rent or not, and I don’t want to move.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/AstroNotScooby on 2024-01-02 18:41:36+00:00.

This past Sunday I had a New Year's Eve party that I invited all my friends to. Generally when we get together we play a bunch of board games. My friends are more into games that I am, or at least my interests are more narrow. I'm cool with social games, guessing games, and small games, but I find resource management games where you swap tokens for other tokens until you get enough victory points to be super tedious.

My friend John had been telling me about a new game he had been playing that he was in love with, where you have to collect birds, and he decided to bring it. He didn't ask me if he should bring it, or tell me he was planning on bringing it, and if he had I’d said it would probably be best to save for another time since I really wanted to keep away from strategy games, and more on light games and party games given the occasion and size of the group. When he had first told me about the game I'd mentioned that I didn't think it would be something I'd take to, but that's about it.

As it got later in the evening, John decided it was time to play his bird collecting game that he brought. I had told him multiple times at this point that I didn't think I'd be able to wrap my head around it, but he was insisting. I figured I might as well give it a try.

I gave it a shot and while it might be a great game for people who like that sort of thing, I just found it super tedious and pointless. I was completely checked out by the time we got to the end, but it's not something I was super bothered by. Then I found out that we hadn't reached the end of the game; we had reached the end of the first round, and there were three more rounds after that (and this was at about 10 PM). At that point I just gave up; I excused myself to go to the bathroom and just went to bed instead.

I came back a couple times to check on everyone as the night went on but they were all caught up in their game, so there wasn’t really much I could do. I was also a little annoyed that this meant that we wouldn't get a chance to play the new game that I had bought specifically for the occasion.

I feel kind of like I should have just spoken up and expressed how I was feeling at the time, especially at the end of the first round, to give my friends a chance to respond or for things to go a different way. My worry was that if everyone else was invested and having fun I didn't want to be the one coming in and messing that up, making everything all about me. But I also feel like by running off and sulking instead, I'm still making things about me, just in a way that I’m keeping to myself.

In a way it seems foolish or petty making a big deal over a board game. It's not that I’m mad that my friends wanted to play a game that I didn't like, but more that I went to great lengths to try to accommodate them, but they didn't seem to care to show me the same consideration in my own house. Either way it's been two days and my heart still hurts.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ITravelDaWorld on 2024-01-02 18:41:03+00:00.

Been with my girlfriend for 3+ years. In the first 3 months, I snooped through her phone because something extremely suspicious was happening with her ex-husband. I came clean and since then, girlfriend hasn't trusted me to hold her phone, etc. I then refrained from any snooping.

So today she logs in on my computer on her work portal to show me something and she stays logged in. Girlfriend has a history of being very disorganized and not meeting expectations from jobs in the past. As she's showing me, I noticed she still has her old husband's last name on her work page. This triggered the memories from 3 months in, which she was doing very suspicious things that ended up being nothing. So, when she left I snooped through her work E-mails and I found an E-mail from two days ago.

They have been repeatedly messaging her to complete a certain work compliance thing but because she is disorganized and stuff, she never completed it and in the E-mail, it says if this is not done by the new year (technically 1/3), you're terminated. She hasn't read this E-mail, nor has she read over 5,000 E-mails on her work E-mail.

What do I do? If I tell then I out myself for snooping.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Recent-Ad1778 on 2024-01-02 18:40:54+00:00.

I (22F) have had my dog for nearly two years now. I see no reason to give him up, especially since I can afford to take care of him and am not lacking in time to attend to him either.

Recently, I made the decision to move out of the state I currently live in. My mom offered me to live with her until I can get on my feet. She was even on board with me bringing my dog with me. However, in the past two days she’s suddenly changed her mind, telling me I need to get rid of him in order to move in with her.

I tried to get a reason, but it’s simply because she doesn’t want a dog in the house — even when I wouldn’t live with them permanently. I would be there for at the most two-three months. I’ve lived on my own and my dog is fully trained and never has had any aggression issues.

The house isn’t rented, it’s fully owned, and I don’t know if I’m the asshole for wanting to keep my dog, especially in a VERY temporary situation, where I’m not even asking her to take care of him. She’s also never had any problems before with other people bringing their pets into the house, but immediately dismisses mine.

I’ve been out of my mind with anxiety and worry, because I’m not willing to give him up, and my mom keeps telling me I need to make a sacrifice (I’ve already given up other things in order to move there, and I’m only asking to bring him).

So, am I the asshole for not wanting to get rid of my dog?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/AstroNotScooby on 2024-01-02 18:41:36+00:00.

This past Sunday I had a New Year's Eve party that I invited all my friends to. Generally when we get together we play a bunch of board games. My friends are more into games that I am, or at least my interests are more narrow. I'm cool with social games, guessing games, and small games, but I find resource management games where you swap tokens for other tokens until you get enough victory points to be super tedious.

My friend John had been telling me about a new game he had been playing that he was in love with, where you have to collect birds, and he decided to bring it. He didn't ask me if he should bring it, or tell me he was planning on bringing it, and if he had I’d said it would probably be best to save for another time since I really wanted to keep away from strategy games, and more on light games and party games given the occasion and size of the group. When he had first told me about the game I'd mentioned that I didn't think it would be something I'd take to, but that's about it.

As it got later in the evening, John decided it was time to play his bird collecting game that he brought. I had told him multiple times at this point that I didn't think I'd be able to wrap my head around it, but he was insisting. I figured I might as well give it a try.

I gave it a shot and while it might be a great game for people who like that sort of thing, I just found it super tedious and pointless. I was completely checked out by the time we got to the end, but it's not something I was super bothered by. Then I found out that we hadn't reached the end of the game; we had reached the end of the first round, and there were three more rounds after that (and this was at about 10 PM). At that point I just gave up; I excused myself to go to the bathroom and just went to bed instead.

I came back a couple times to check on everyone as the night went on but they were all caught up in their game, so there wasn’t really much I could do. I was also a little annoyed that this meant that we wouldn't get a chance to play the new game that I had bought specifically for the occasion.

I feel kind of like I should have just spoken up and expressed how I was feeling at the time, especially at the end of the first round, to give my friends a chance to respond or for things to go a different way. My worry was that if everyone else was invested and having fun I didn't want to be the one coming in and messing that up, making everything all about me. But I also feel like by running off and sulking instead, I'm still making things about me, just in a way that I’m keeping to myself.

In a way it seems foolish or petty making a big deal over a board game. It's not that I’m mad that my friends wanted to play a game that I didn't like, but more that I went to great lengths to try to accommodate them, but they didn't seem to care to show me the same consideration in my own house. Either way it's been two days and my heart still hurts.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ITravelDaWorld on 2024-01-02 18:41:03+00:00.

Been with my girlfriend for 3+ years. In the first 3 months, I snooped through her phone because something extremely suspicious was happening with her ex-husband. I came clean and since then, girlfriend hasn't trusted me to hold her phone, etc. I then refrained from any snooping.

So today she logs in on my computer on her work portal to show me something and she stays logged in. Girlfriend has a history of being very disorganized and not meeting expectations from jobs in the past. As she's showing me, I noticed she still has her old husband's last name on her work page. This triggered the memories from 3 months in, which she was doing very suspicious things that ended up being nothing. So, when she left I snooped through her work E-mails and I found an E-mail from two days ago.

They have been repeatedly messaging her to complete a certain work compliance thing but because she is disorganized and stuff, she never completed it and in the E-mail, it says if this is not done by the new year (technically 1/3), you're terminated. She hasn't read this E-mail, nor has she read over 5,000 E-mails on her work E-mail.

What do I do? If I tell then I out myself for snooping.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Recent-Ad1778 on 2024-01-02 18:40:54+00:00.

I (22F) have had my dog for nearly two years now. I see no reason to give him up, especially since I can afford to take care of him and am not lacking in time to attend to him either.

Recently, I made the decision to move out of the state I currently live in. My mom offered me to live with her until I can get on my feet. She was even on board with me bringing my dog with me. However, in the past two days she’s suddenly changed her mind, telling me I need to get rid of him in order to move in with her.

I tried to get a reason, but it’s simply because she doesn’t want a dog in the house — even when I wouldn’t live with them permanently. I would be there for at the most two-three months. I’ve lived on my own and my dog is fully trained and never has had any aggression issues.

The house isn’t rented, it’s fully owned, and I don’t know if I’m the asshole for wanting to keep my dog, especially in a VERY temporary situation, where I’m not even asking her to take care of him. She’s also never had any problems before with other people bringing their pets into the house, but immediately dismisses mine.

I’ve been out of my mind with anxiety and worry, because I’m not willing to give him up, and my mom keeps telling me I need to make a sacrifice (I’ve already given up other things in order to move there, and I’m only asking to bring him).

So, am I the asshole for not wanting to get rid of my dog?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Historical_Shift494 on 2024-01-02 18:36:37+00:00.

My parents had me (15M) as their only kid for years and I never really thought they wanted me. But then almost 5 years ago they had my sister Cassie (4F). They were as hands off with her as they were with me but after the first year of her life they stopped paying for a babysitter and started relying more on me to hold her and do stuff for her and I did it naturally because I didn't want her to grow up feeling as unwanted as I did.

Almost a year ago she called me dad for the first time and it was a big surprise but only happened once so I thought correcting her was enough. But it started happening more and in front of our parents and they said nothing and when I mentioned it to them they had zero reaction and basically ignored the topic.

Since September/October all she has called me is dad and I tried to talk to her but I guess I don't know how to talk to a 4 year old in a way that she'll get because she just keeps doing it and it's frustrating but also worrying me. I don't want to be responsible for her forever. I don't want to be the only parent she has and I don't want to be forced to take her with me when I turn 18 and get the fuck away from my parents. But as it is I'm the only person she has an attachment to so it might be too late. I just really don't want to give up college so I can support her.

I sat my parents down and told them they need to do better or find someone else to take care of her. They told me I was blowing things out of proportion and I don't even remember my old babysitters so clearly she'll figure shit out eventually and won't think of me as her dad always. They said they keep a roof over our heads so the least I can do is make sure she's taken care of for them so they don't have to. I said they are making things toxic as fuck between us and they told me they did not care.

So I told them I won't help out with her now and they will have to figure shit out like they did with me because I refuse to sign up for a lifetime of being her dad by continuing the way things are.

They told me it would be cruel to drop her like that and told me I am part of this family and I will carry out the role they assigned for me. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Big-Silver5960 on 2024-01-02 18:33:21+00:00.

My (25M) girlfriend (23f) and I have been together for 3 years, living together for 1.5 years. We have our squabbles but apparently this one has really pushed my girlfriend over the edge.

Last spring, her parents let us know they and their friends were planning a group trip to Aruba and that we would be invited to join them. It’s an all inclusive resort and my girlfriend is super excited because she’s never been to a resort this nice before. I’m indifferent because I grew up in a warm climate, so I don’t understand why people from colder areas have an obsession with booker tropical vacations. What’s wrong with going to Europe?

Anyways, we were told the trip would be in April, so we told them we were in. Before we paid the deposit to lock in our spots, her parents called her to let her know one person in the group couldn’t do April. Apparently, thats an end of the year time for their job and it’s all hands on deck, so they couldn’t get the time off. My GF let me know about the change before confirming with her parents we were still in. We paid our deposit and got locked in.

At the time, I told her it was fine. Here’s where I might be the AH. We were talking about the trip the other night, this is literally all she wants to talk about. I finally brought up to her that I was annoyed about the date change as March is towards the end of ski season, and I like to get in as many runs as I possibly can. Also, it’s spring break time so the resorts are going to be flooded with annoying college kids.

I told her it didn’t make sense to me to change the dates because one person couldn’t go. She explained to me that it wouldn’t have been fair for them to miss the trip because they couldn’t take that time off of work. She then told me I was being selfish because I go skiing almost every weekend and sometimes even during the week, I can afford to miss a few days of skiing.

I personally just don’t think she understands where I’m coming from. She doesn’t ski, so she doesn’t understand my passion for it. I’ve also traveled a lot with my family, so I don’t see the big deal of this trip. So AITAH?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Buggagirl95 on 2024-01-02 18:31:55+00:00.

So my (28F) birthday was this past weekend. My parents gifted me 2 sets of diamond earrings and a diamond necklace. However I told them to take it back.

A little backstory my parents have been divorced since I was 9/10. Their marriage doesn’t hold very many happy memories for me. As my dad cheated on my mom and then she chose to give him a second chance and he did it again. They also were relationships with other women not just one night stands. After the divorce my dad moved about an hour away with his new girlfriend and I only went there every other weekend. My dad and I have had some hard times over the years but overall he has been a pretty good dad. My mom is basically my go to for everything and one of my best friends.

This past weekend they both wanted to take me out to eat. So to set the scene it is my husband our son and I, my mom, my dad and my dad’s girlfriend (that he has been with for like 18 years). My parents gift me 2 sets of diamond earrings and necklace made out of my mom’s engagement/wedding ring. I was shocked stuck in my tracks almost not even sure what to say. Now they are beautiful and I don’t want to be ungrateful but what it symbolizes aren’t happy memories for me.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Suchcicki152 on 2024-01-02 18:30:35+00:00.

My roommate and I got into an argument about a drill and what it does. It was a stupid argument, but I needed to know what exactly the drill did so I can decide if I want to keep or sell it. We did not agree on what it does, so I decided to call my dad who has 30 years of construction and carpentry experience. My roommate lost it because I “don’t trust him” enough to believe that he knows what he’s talking about. For context, we each have about 2 years construction experience. He says that I should just trust him, but I want to make an informed decision and I don’t believe that I should blindly believe him simply because he said so. He expects that I should just shut up and believe him or else I don’t trust him. I know this is a stupid argument, but he will not let it go. AITA?