Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Level-Barracuda-1528 on 2024-01-02 18:14:48+00:00.

When I (28F) was 19, I got pregnant from a one night stand. The father, “Aiden” wanted to be around and was supportive from the start. We never got together but we became very close friends. Unfortunately, when I was 8 months pregnant, Aiden died in a car accident. It devastated me, as well as his family. To this day, it haunts me that he was never able to meet our son, “Brady”.

Aiden’s family has been heavily involved in Brady’s life since the beginning. Birthday parties, celebrations, etc. They always made me feel welcome. I started dating again when Brady was 2 and his parents, “Michelle and Dan” actually encouraged me too. They said I deserved to be happy. They even watched Brady occasionally so I could go on dates. Brady has always been told about his dad.

When Brady was 4, I met “Justin” (now 31). It took 6 months for him to meet Brady and from the start, they bonded quickly. A couple of months later and Justin met Aiden’s family. They loved him. I was always clear with Justin that their family would always be in our lives, especially for Brady’s benefit. He agreed it was the best.

I married Justin 2 years later. Brady began calling him “papa” on his own. He still talked about Aiden and called him “daddy”. I kept all pictures of Aiden up. Brady proudly said he had 2 dads. Michelle and Dan seemed fine. A year later, Justin brought up adopting Brady and I agreed.

That’s when Dan and Michelle began to show their displeasure. I explained that we’d never stop Brady from seeing them, we’d always talk about Aiden, show pictures, etc. We also planned on hyphenating their last name with Justin’s. Dan and Michelle argued with me. I tried to keep things calm for Brady’s sake. But then Michelle and Dan tried to stop the adoption. It didn’t work and the adoption went through. But because of their contesting, it took longer and only went through last year. It also added extra court fees.

Dan and Michelle have since accepted things, though I still won’t leave them alone with Brady in case they try to trash Justin again. Justin is fine with them coming around for Brady and is cordial, but definitely keeps a wall up. He’s not overly friendly like he once was. He’ll smile, hype them up for Brady but that’s it. He says he’s upset with what they put all of us through, especially the emotional toll it put on me.

Dan and Michelle came by Christmas Eve to see Brady. Justin was once again polite but didn’t say much. A few days later, Michelle told me she’s hurt Justin’s stopped making an effort. I told her she can’t expect him to be the same after all they did and said in court. She said they apologized and he accepted it. I said yes but actions have consequences and they need to accept it.

Dan told me that I was insensitive to not take Michelle’s side after all they’ve done. Their daughter (Brady’s aunt) tells me Justin and I are in the right. I don’t know what to think and feel stretched between everyone. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/jjjjqueeen on 2024-01-02 18:13:45+00:00.

Me (25 F) and my boyfriend (27 M) were out a bar with friends. I noticed my boyfriend getting progressively more drunk but he was genuinely having a good time the whole night. Our one friend was encouraging him to drink and was handing him drinks all night at the bar. The one friend that was feeding him drinks came up to me and told me he was taking my boyfriend home with his girlfriend because he seems to be too drunk. I agreed to let them go home as I still wanted to enjoy being out with friends. He ended up getting sick and throwing up once he got home. When they left, he seemed okay. Drunk but not an alarming drunk. Had I known he was sick I would’ve gone back with him. My boyfriend is upset with me for not going back with him. I did at multiple points throughout the night ask him if he was okay and he insisted he was fine. He actually got angry with me that I kept asking and eventually shoved me and walked away from me, ignoring me the rest of the night. He never told me he was leaving, I only knew because his friend came up to me after he already ordered the Uber home. The girlfriend that also went with (one of my good friends) seems mad at me that she had to go with to drop him off at home and I should’ve gone instead of them. So AITA for staying behind and letting my friends take him home?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/interstellarbeing081 on 2024-01-02 18:00:07+00:00.

Let me just start by saying, I'm a full grown adult. I want nothing more than my mom to be happy even if that means dating whoever she wants as long as she's treated correctly. My mom has gone through a great deal throughout her entire life and sacrificed so much for me as a kid, so she deserves a fucking happily ever after. Anyways, my mom has been with this guy for little over a decade and literally does everything for him. Helps him apply for jobs, cook, clean, etc. I feel that he takes advantage of her and always has. When I was a kid and they started dating, he moved in with us after a few years that they were dating and has lived with us since. They do nothing but argue with each other over stupid things and whenever my mom would try to kick him out, he'd always bring up that he did so much for me as a kid and that he didn't need to because I'm not really his kid and whatever bullshit excuse. Obviously I care for the guy because he did take care of me but it always seemed forced to me, like he was just doing it to make it seem like he cared about me to my mom. He used to make mean comments about how I would dress and whenever I was confident in something or wanted to do sports, he'd make fun of me which really hurt me so I stopped getting involved in clubs and after school activities. I could care less about how he treated me in the past but it's just the fact that he stresses my mom out that makes me upset and worried for her health. She already has a lot of health problems as it is and I just worry about her a lot.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Blackbeauty10 on 2024-01-02 17:58:59+00:00.

Let me explain me and husband has been together for 10 years married 7 years. Before we got together we both had kids from previous relationships. Which I have met and was a great step mother too. But recently have found out that husband been keeping a secret about another child that he have before my time yes but kept a secret. I’m pissed and want nothing to do with it at all AITA for saying no don’t wanna meet him and thinking about a divorce and you can deal with him if you want.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Personal-Put9091 on 2024-01-02 12:41:10+00:00.

I 18 f am currently 35 weeks pregnant. Me and my boyfriend 19 m decided we are not ready and have decided to adopt baby out. Please don't come at me for getting pregnant so young, we already know we screwed up, been getting an earful about since we told our parent's.

When I was 18 week's, we made the decision to adopt him out. It was soon known to our family and his that we were going to adopt baby out. My cousin 30 and her husband 35 approached me and asked if they could have baby as I know that my cousin is infertile and they have been trying for year's to have a baby. They're financially stable and I know they will make wonderful parents. I told them, that I will speak to my boyfriend. He meet and liked them. We gave them our okay. They were greatful and cried and thanked us.

Now on to what happened that brung me here to write this post. My aunt 45 and her girlfriend 35 came to my place. She asked if she could speak to me about baby. I honestly thought I was going to get another lecture, but she completely surprised me by saying she only just heard about baby being adopted out and she would like to take baby. I was taken aback. But I said I'm sorry but me and bf have already decided baby got a family to go too. She asked who and I told her. She told me that she has also wanted to have a baby and I said nothing stopping you and her gf from having one. She said she's can't afford IVF treatment and her girlfriend can't get pregnant. I still said no. My aunt said just think about it.

I told my boyfriend and he said no, we already told your cousin and husband, that there going to be the parents. I rang my aunt and said my boyfriend and I are sticking to my cousin and husband. My aunt said she understands. But then the next day, my sister showed me a post on FB and it was my aunt saying that her hopes to be a mother was dashed, because my neice is homophobic about having two women raising a baby.

I went to comment from my page only to find she had blocked me. I tried to ring her up and she had already blocked my number. So my sister asked why she was lying and that's her being lesbian had nothing to do with her not getting baby. Next thing you know she's getting bombarded by my aunt friends and calling her (They thought she was me) calling her homophobic and other horrible name's. Even family got involved. Then I was flooded with texts and phone calls from family. I'm stressing out over this. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Eastern_Possession32 on 2024-01-02 12:14:45+00:00.

I've been spending the holidays with my boyfriend and his family at his parents place and this morning I woke up to the amazing news that my period had started (what fun start to the new year!)so I asked my boyfriend to go get me pads in town. His mother calls me down for breakfast and now I'm sitting at the dining table with his parents. His dad asks where my boyfriend is and I tell him he's gone to the stores to get me pads. Both their faces dropped and they exchanged looks with each other before breaking into laughter about how progressive kids of today are and that some private woman things should remain between women. His dad then said he's never even touched a pack of pads in all his years despite growing up with girls and being married for 40 years and never will because it doesn't concern men. Slightly pissed off, on top my already bad mood, I decide to respond (was quiet until now) and said that it was funny how he said that with so much pride because then clearly he's not a real man if he can't just buy some fucking pads. After trying to stare me down he blew up shouting about how dare I say he wasn't a real man and ranted for 30 minutes about how much of a real man he was (and yet you can't even buy it some pads?) before storming off.

Things are now awkward and I'm contemplating apologizing and leaving to make things better. I'm aware my judgment is impaired and it's possible I took things too far so AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Status-Blood-8544 on 2024-01-02 12:02:47+00:00.

The year of 2023 was for various reasons, quite financially successful for me(m32). So after spending Christmas together witb family I invited extended family, ie my siblings and their spouses/children and my wife’s sister Amy and her spouse/children on a 5star safari + resort vacation in Africa.

After the safari we arrived at the resort on the 31st and celebrate New Year.

Today was so to speak our first day of relaxation and the beach. Now, as a child i hated the beach, and my old man would grab me and throw me in the water to “get over my fear”, and i hated every second of it.

My 4yo daughter Lizzie takes after me. She’s scared of the waves and hates algae. We take the rational approach and let a 4year old enjoy the beach in her own way without forcing her into the water.

Well, today the entire morning my SIL Amy was trying to convince Lizzie to enter the water.

Honestly it was all civil and I didn’t pay it much mind. But at some point, i left to get everyone cocktails from the bar, and meanwhile Amy was left alone with some of the kids including Lizzie.

When i returned I saw Amy “dragging” my crying Lizzie to the ocean. Needless to say I immediately grabbed Lizzie back.

But i was furious. When i asked why she’d think it was a good idea to make a child cry over swiimming in the ocean i was given the classic “it’s good for her health” bs.

So i told my SIL plain and simple; she oversteps one more time or breaks my rules during this vacation and when we check put she’ll have to foot her own bill.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/CaptainUnderstood on 2024-01-02 11:19:56+00:00.

So we’ve been together 3 months, I see her between 2 and three nights a week either her at mine or me at her place, both live with parents.

Without fail we have sex every time we see each other unless certain timing issues do not permit.

Last night she came to mine after I had stayed at hers the night prior, and had sex twice. We watched TV with my family and my sister (26) and 2yo niece was over as well, but around 22:30 I could my partner was getting tired so suggested we go to bed.

We go up to my room and I said I was gonna have an hour on the PlayStation to finally try out my headphones I got for Christmas and she seemed okay with this but then didn’t get into bed which I took as my cue to turn off the PlayStation sharpish and allow her to sleep, my sister and niece also came up in this time period and went to sleep in the room adjacent.

Once I got into bed my partner starts giving me all the signs that she wants us to have sex, which I turned down as my bed is loud and my sister in the room over would definitely hear us, which isn’t really fair. at which point my partner turned her back on me and gave all the signs that she is mad, I.E pushing my hand away when I try and cuddle.

Fast forward this morning, we drive to a cafe to meet her mum and dad for breakfast and she’s still giving me silent treatment.

TL;DR - Am I the asshole because I didn’t want sex with my partner in case it woke my sister/niece up.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/pistachiogamer on 2024-01-02 10:41:47+00:00.

Hi and happy new year!

I’ve been visiting my boyfriend’s family for the past three weeks for the winter holidays. It’s my first time meeting them. They are European and I’m American. The first week or so went fine. I noticed my boyfriend’s niece (4) and nephew (2) were a bit of a handful, but I could understand most of it. The issue started to happen from the second week, particularly from the 4-year old. At first she was super nice to me and I played with her often. But like a switch she started saying she hated me. Again I get that it’s a child and moods happen. And at this time her parents would lightly correct her.

My issue really started when the 4 year old decided to kick me repeatedly at the zoo. I mean myself just looking at something and her coming up behind me to kick me, with all of her strength. Her parents did nothing and this upset me and my boyfriend greatly. My boyfriend mentioned that his sister commented that I’m “from the city and just not used to real children’s behavior”…I was disturbed but tried to be understanding and think about the times the 4-year old was kind. But the behavior continued and it started to build up.

The breaking point was when we were all playing a board game and the 4-year old randomly threw the board at my face and called me “a fucking asshole.” I was physically hurt and shocked that her mother said absolutely nothing. It was unusual and so disturbing of a no-reaction for something so severe in my opinion. Her mother continued playing the game and told me I needed to hurry up since my turn was next. My boyfriend and his parents were also shocked and upset. The sister, is about two months pregnant with a third child. I decided to excuse myself, to not escalate the situation. I was concerned about upsetting her and causing physical stress. As I left out my boyfriend started talking with his sister and she yells “(4-years old’s name) doesn’t need to apologize, she’s 4 and can say whatever she wants, your girlfriend think she’s smart but she is unintelligent to be upset at anything my daughter does.”

It’s a blur but I went back in screaming. What resulted was my boyfriend having a break down from being angry at his sister but also caught in the middle. His sister crying saying “you’ll never come back here again because you’ll always choose her.” My boyfriend’s parents embarrassed and angry at their daughter. The brother-in-law saying he agrees with my feelings but has to stand by his wife. The 4-year old recognizing the situation was upsetting and coming to me to apologize on her own. And me just mentally exhausted.. I had called her parenting absolutely horrible, which is what I feel strongly. She proceeded to call me an idiot and continued to see it as me upset at her child and not at her. I felt that what I said, given the circumstances, was justified. But everything coupled with my boyfriend’s sadness and anger with his family has me feeling really down and confused about the situation.

Was I wrong here?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/silent_turner on 2024-01-02 13:50:52+00:00.

My bf and I are in long distance relationship and have not been on really good terms with each other. We often talked about taking a break to figure out future with each other. Meanwhile I met a guy with whom I connected instantly and unintentionally got close. We even ended up making out once. The guy is aware of my relationship status however my bf doesn't know about this guy. Should I count this as cheating on my behalf??

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/idhsbwhsisjs on 2024-01-02 13:49:14+00:00.

so im in my second year in high school and im the only person in my class who is from a village. idk if that actually makes a difference but yeah.

i go to school in a town where everyone is either 50 or under 20 and everyone around that town thinks people are weird there.

im in a language class which was hard to get into so i was sure i will be surrounded by smart people (or at least book smart) if i get accepted so i was really excited to meet those people.😊

so the first month ive been going there i realized everybody acts like theyre 12. i felt like im their mother or something. when we were taking about how our summer went they were shocked about me going out to parties or going to houseparties. (not the main focus, im not trying to act mature)

i stopped talking to them about stuff like that because i felt like i was being asked too much but they were just really interested because they never had experiences like that. which is NOT the problem here.

the problem is every monday they ask me if i was at a party, not even making fun of me, they actually think i go all the time, they asked me if i have been kissed on the lips before as if were not about to turn 17 soon, they ask me to talk to boys from other classes if they come into our classroom and i feel like there will never be a good class environment for me because i feel like im the only one acting my age.

reminder: please be kind, im not trying to “act mature” i just feel like an AH because i cant really find my place in my class. personality wise, i dont think anyone has a problem with me, its just that i cant be friends with people who actually act like theyre 12. i just cant get into a closer friendship with them. is there something wrong with me or are they just different?

(not every single person acts like this, but for example, almost all the girls, and id be really happy to make more girl friends, but the facts that they act 12 always throws me off and i dont want to fake a friendship)

would YOU be able to make friends like that?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/No_Raccoon_8726 on 2024-01-02 13:43:09+00:00.

I went out for nye with a 2 friends. One is a childhood friend and one is a newer one (they’ve seen each other once before but aren’t friends themselves). We went to a restaurant that was in a hotel. Me and newer friend were gonna sleep in this hotel childhood friend was going to leave to another party after we had dinner. By the time we got the bill newer friend didn’t feel great (probably too much to drink) and went upstairs to our room to lay down. Childhood friend got pretty drunk and we also went up to the room. At this point I want childhood friend to leave because it’s not just my room and it’s not super big and I feel bad that newer friend also paid for this room and needs to rest and we’re up there making noise. Again our agreement was that we will have dinner and she’s going to continue to another event. We were in a big city it’s very difficult to find taxis during this time (2 years ago I just couldn’t find a taxi in nye for 2 hours). I found her a taxi and it was going to come in 5 mins. She’s taking her stuff from the room and going to pee and in my opinion takes her time and misses the taxi. During this time the driver is calling me and I’m pressuring her to go to the the car and she’s yelling at me to not pressure her. We got into a fight over it. Im continuing looking for another taxi and found one that was just 1 min away and she forced me to cancel because her friend is going to come get her. At this point Im pissed. She talked yelled at me in front of people, and in front of newer friend which was embarrassing and I suspect she acted aggressive because she was drunk which I’ve seen happen before but never towards me. I just want to stress that she never looked for a taxi herself. Me and another friend from the party she was going to were looking for a taxi for her and she was just not going. I was even going to pay for this taxi so it wasn’t about money. I asked her when is the friend picking her up because I felt bad my other friend wanted to sleep and we were bothering her in her room and my childhood friend got offended and left to the lobby to wait for her friend. I was sure by the morning she will apologize for her behavior and blame it on the alcohol but not exactly. She apologized for yelling at me in front of people but she said I basically kicked her out and didn’t care if she had any way to get home. In my opinion it’s not true I tried getting and paying for her ride I would have waited with her in the lobby but I felt at that point I’m not going to follow her so she can keep yelling at me in front of everyone. I still feel bad. This is a friendship of years and she never did this to me before so I really want to know if I did something wrong here

Edit: childhood friend did drink but she wasn’t it bad condition. She also had the option of sleeping over at a family members house which the taxi could have taken her to and I will gladly pay for but she wanted to go to the other party and it wasn’t a situation where I believed anyone could take advantage of her or anything like that. She was alert but maybe a quick to anger Time between the first taxi and when she left was approximately 2 hours

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Dramatic-Owl17 on 2024-01-02 13:27:08+00:00.

Since I (F21) was a child, I have had problems with headaches, which have worsened greatly in the last year due to stress. Sometimes I feel like my temples are squeezed in a vice and slowly squeezed, I think very slowly and move around, staggering like a drunk. Painkillers rarely help me, but the pain can bring me to tears and sometimes lasts literally for DAYS. I don't want to dwell on this topic for a long time, so I'll just say that I'm undergoing examinations.

So, the main conflict began on New Year's Eve. In my country, Christmas is not particularly celebrated, December 31 is the main holiday. This year I celebrated it for the first time without my family: my girlfriend and I went on a trip. My mom (F40) and I were separated by a time zone, and her year 2024 came a little earlier than mine.

Mom was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, which has always made her a little overprotective. A few hours before the new year came, I went to sleep for a while. At this very time, mom had already moved on to 2024 and wrote me a message congratulating me.

I didn't reply to this message for about 20 minutes. Mom was worried that something had happened to me, wrote me a million more messages, and finally called. The phone screamed in my ear. If I am woken up ahead of time, it will absolutely provoke a migraine attack, and my whole family knows about it. I woke up and convinced mom that everything was fine. I spent the rest of the holiday with a hellish migraine.

The next day, late at night, when I went to bed, mom texted me and said that she had checked the weather forecast in the city where we are, and she was worried that it was too cold here. Again, I didn't see this message because I was already asleep. Again, mom wrote about twenty messages to me and a few more to my girlfriend, and then she started attacking our phones with calls, because she decided that we froze to death.

Finally, today she started calling me at seven-thirty in the morning because I hadn't answered her cat's picture for about an hour. I woke up already feeling like some dwarf had planted explosives in my head. Even now I can literally feel my head throbbing and I'm sick of migraines. I wrote my mom a polite, but passive-aggressive message, where I reminded her that I had asked her a million times not to call me at night or early in the morning because it physically hurts me, that I am an adult and can live for several hours without her control, and that, finally, now I will just turn off my phone at night and reply to her messages when it is convenient for me, and not at any time of the day, as it was before.

She texted me (I quote): "I'm sorry, I won't write to you anymore" and stopped responding to my messages. My brother says that she is offended by me, and now it seems to me that I should have been more tolerant of her. She has never behaved so anxiously before, and I think this is due to her tendency to overprotect and the fact that I finally started the separation process.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Ok-Option-7313 on 2024-01-02 13:25:27+00:00.

(For context I live with my nan and grandad and have since I was 18 months old and I’m 17M right now)

I’ve been really ill since the 27th December When I went to see my gf to help her with something extremely important. And when I was on the train back (We live 50m away from each other) I felt really ill

I was meant to stay with her 29th/30th but wasn’t going to because of how ill I felt but then my gf convinced me to come and said she would look after me, she did literally everything she could to help. I got home 30th and just stayed in my bed and tried to go to sleep because me and my gf got barely any sleep because of my coughing and stuff in the night. I wasn’t going to see my gf for a whole month because of my mocks because I wanted to make my nan and grandad happy by focusing completely on them. When I got the train home I had to beg them to pick me up from the station and they complained because they wanted to get bread so would rather make their ill grandson take a bus and walk for 30mins?.

Now. This is where the title actually becomes relevant. I also spent the 31st almost completely in bed until my gfs mum messages me telling me they’re having a New Year’s party and that my gf misses me and it would be a nice surprise because she didn’t think she’d see me for a month. I felt really ill and said as much to her mum and she said my gf will look after me and so i asked my nan and she was like no no no no if you go then I’m not cancelling your driving lesson (even though I’m ill) and that she’s never paying for them again because I’m apparently well enough to go on the train. I said whilst coughing there’s driving lessons every week you can postpone it there’s only 1 new year a year and they told me to pay for my taxi and train so I did and surprised my gf we had a great time it was very nice.

I took all my medicine with me to her house and they didn’t ask how I am the whole time I was there, I come back on 1st on the train and had a really bad stomach ache aswell and felt like I was going to poo myself and my nan wasn’t there to pick me up from the station and there was no buses running. So I called her and said wait ‘i need to do my hair’ (she weren’t going anywhere else) But then I got a message 15 mins later, station saying shes woke up my grandad to come and get me.

I go home and go to sleep wake up at 12:30 and my lesson is at 2 I ask my nan if she’s cancelled it she says no and I say it’s ridiculous and she said she told me that would happen and I asked why didn’t they cancel it and they said because you were well enough to get the train? Even though I was 10x worse when I woke up on the 30th and they refused to pick me up and then complained about picking me up from the station? Am I missing something here? AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/throwRA_wedplusone on 2024-01-02 13:20:57+00:00.

I (M26) have been part of a friend group with Don (M26) and Steve (M25) since we were all in middle school. We basically grew up together. Steve just got married to Karen (F26). They met in college (we all went to the same college). Don used to make fun of Steve a lot for being short, he never crossed a line or anything but he would just poke fun at him. Don’s very much a jokester, spent a lot of time teasing Steve for only being with one girl for all of college. Steve basically abandoned us after Don made a pass at Karen. He was drunk but Steve wouldn’t forgive him.

After that we all just started avoiding Steve, but he stayed in contact with some of the guys from our group. We got invites to their wedding a while back. Basically our entire friend group got invited except Don, which was so petty but we had a good laugh about it. Me and a couple guys got +1s. Don said it would be so funny if I brought him to the wedding to really stick it to Steve. I honestly thought it would be funny and agreed. I told my GF that I didn’t get a +1 and just brought Don instead.

When we got to the wedding Steve saw us from across the room and his face DROPPED and I knew we got one over on him. But then like 10 minutes later someone we didn’t know came to us with a security guard and basically kicked us out in front of everybody. Don said we should stay in the parking lot as a “fuck you” but we ended up leaving. Since the wedding (about a week) people have spammed me with texts asking what’s going on and a couple mutual friends have called me a prick.

My GF asked what happened and why people have been spamming me. When I told her she was silent and asked why I didn’t bring her and I tried explaining how it was like a prank on Steve but she didn’t react and she’s been cold ever since. Now I’m feeling like I might be the asshole. Am I?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/58inchlesbianlol on 2024-01-02 13:16:55+00:00.

I (37f) am an adopted mother of 4 and a little bit ago I found out our youngest daughter had stomach cancer and two days ago I found out she beat the cancer. This was best news I've gotten in a long time and I couldn't believe it so I decided to tell my parents about. Well that didn't go to well.

I went to my parents yesterday and told them that I was celebrating my daughter beating cancer ( and of course wishing them a happy new year ) on the 5th and my mother flipped and shouted at me about how dare I celebrate my daughter beating cancer on the same day of her dad's birthday. The thing is that I had no idea that my ojiisan birthday was January 5th since he never told me when he was born other than winter of 1940 in Kyoto Japan. She was yelling at me, really mad even though she really never had a great relationship with her dad and I didn't know why this was so upsetting to her other than it being her dad's birthday.

I tried to compromise by saying that I can celebrate his birthday and my daughter beating cancer but she told me to leave so I did. I understand that I'm having a party the same day my grandpa was born but I don't understand why she would be so upset over it, she never had a great relationship with her father so I didn't expect her to react like that and I also didn't know her father was born on the 5th. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/cnagworl on 2024-01-02 13:15:10+00:00.

I (23F) work fulltime as a CNA and my mom watches my baby while I’m at work. Since I’m a single mother, the rest of the time I am her only caretaker.

I’ve come home during my lunch break and caught her doing things multiple times that seem like she’s doing them intentionally for some reason. The other day, I came home and she was feeding her out of a dirty bottle that had been sitting next to the sink despite me having filled clean bottles with formula and put them in the fridge that morning for her. When I realized, I said “don’t feed her with that it’s dirty, I have a clean one here” because I thought she hadn’t realized or something and she ignored me and kept feeding her anyways. She knew the bottles next to the sink were dirty and there was clean ones in the fridge, as I always put the bottles there and usually there’s no issues.

Yesterday, I came home and she was using table and highchair wipes to change her because she lost the open pack of wipes. She said “I should make things more accessible and easier to find if I want her using the right product”. There was at least 7 packs of wipes in her room, between a box of diapers and wipes that I just bought directly next to the changing table, and wipes in the drawer of the table. She went through more effort finding the table wipes than she would have for the actual wipes, so I’m questioning if this is also intentional or not. I had hidden the table wipes because this has happened twice before and despite me explaining, this package is table wipes, do not use them on the baby, this is where the wipes are, it keeps happening.

Last night, I was in the kitchen while the baby sat with my mom so I could make her a bottle and all of the sudden, I hear her say “don’t pull my hair or I’ll pull yours”. I look over, and she’s pulling on my baby’s hair. I immediately walked over, took the baby, and said “do not put your hands on my child”. I do not agree with physical harm against children for “learning”, nevermind the fact that she is a baby and does not understand the concept of “punishment” yet. When I woke up this morning, she immediately starts going off about how I’m abusive for telling her not to touch my kid and my kids going to come out to be a spoiled, terrible person etc etc. I told her I am allowed to set boundaries with my child, and her response is that “everything’s a boundary with me”.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Organic_Fail_8283 on 2024-01-02 13:08:45+00:00.

So I (16F) have a stepsister Ava (20F) and she has a daughter Emmie (7 monthsF). I live with my dad. Ava is a stepsister from my mom's side. I don't really have a relationship with my mom anymore but contact has to remain until I turn 18 as per the judge's orders, and those were reviewed recently so that is not something I can change.

I have never met Ava's daughter. I haven't seen Ava in a couple of years. We're not close, we're not sister's, we're also not family to each other. We have never treated each other like family and she was glad when she didn't have to see me anymore when she was visiting her dad. My grandma told me she made a lot of those comments after I moved in with my dad.

Since Ava is a single mom she's working and not in college now and apparently some afternoons she has no one to take care of Emmi so my mom decided I should be the one to do it since I finish school the hours she needs someone. Both my mom and Ava told me I needed to do it and I told them I wouldn't and when that didn't work and they pressed the issue, I told dad, who told mom to back off. When he got nowhere I told them to fuck off and leave me alone because I had no obligation to help them.

Mom hated the way I spoke to them. But both said I was petty for saying no and they told me I could have gained a niece from the experience if I had been willing but I just showed I hate a baby who has done nothing to nobody.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Internal-Extension45 on 2024-01-02 13:07:31+00:00.

I have a friend that I have known around 6 months longer than I have known my girlfriend. This friend is female and we used to be in the same friendship group and go on nights out quite a lot together but we haven't really seen each other much for over a year.

My girlfriend has met the friend a few times. I saw my friend in town a few days ago and she mentioned that she was moving away to the opposite end of the country (We live in the UK). She said it would be good to meet up for a drink before she goes to catch up and say goodbye. She invited my girlfriend to come along and I agreed to meet up.

When we got home my girlfriend said she would not be going for drinks and doesn't think I should be either. I asked why and my girlfriend said it would be weird me meeting another woman for drinks just the 2 of us. I mentioned that it is only the 2 of us because my girlfriend refuses to go and that just because she doesn't want to do something, it shouldn't mean I cannot do it.

She just repeated that I should not be meeting a woman for drinks but I just mentioned that she was a friend that I might not see again or at least not for a long time so I want to say goodbye. My girlfriend accused me of not respecting her and not listening her but I just said that I'm allowed to see my friends and if she doesn't want me drinking on my own with this friend then she can come along but is choosing not to.

AITA for agreeing to meet a friend for drinks?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/giannacantone on 2024-01-02 13:04:30+00:00.

For some context, My (F17) mom (F39) has been dating this man (M47) for about a year. He has two kids (M15 and F13) and one niece (F14) who he sort of adopted. His kids moms are not in the picture, and as a result he tends to parent out of guilt, being unable to set boundaries and spoiling them (he owns a successful company) and as a result the kids can get bratty very quickly, especially F13, who we'll call Mia.

Right now, we are on a family vacation with my siblings (M9 and F7, who we'll call Kim) and everyone else. Vacations heighten the level of brattiness in Mia, so she had been subtly annoying me all day. I am big on the principle of things, and try to instill things into my siblings, but they gravitate towards Mia who imo is a bad influence as I've seen a big change in behavior ever since she's started coming around. We went out to hibachi for dinner, and me, Mia and F14 all had meals that did not come with sides, so the waitress took our plates to make room and gave us our meals. The chef then gave the sides on the remaining plates, and Mia was annoyed she didn't have a plate so she couldn't get the side. Whatever, didn't think much of it. Then, I hear my mom go, "Is that Kim's plate?" I turn over and Mia had taken Kim's plate, and I say, "Did you ask her?". Mia replies, "I didn't think she'd like it." EXCUSE ME? The rest of the interaction went as such: "But did you ask her?" "She probably wasn't going to want it" "But did you ask her?" "Kim, do you want this?" "No" "But. Did. You. Ask. Her?" Fuming, I look over to her father, who was silent and eating. I drop the issue, but internally I was upset - I'm not going to let my sister get taken advantage of, and that was just downright rude and entitled. A minute later, her dad goes over and says something to Mia, and my mom tells me while she wasn't mad at me I was out of line. I told her I stand by what I said, that maybe my tone was harsh but what she did was rude. She told me I didn't need to get in her face (we were seated far away from each other) and that "She's 13, you're 17, you need to be the bigger person", to which I said "and Kim is 7, she shouldn't be disrespected like that." So, I'm curious - AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/No_Care_2022 on 2024-01-02 11:21:27+00:00.

I (35F) and my husband (44M) have been together 8 years now. We’re not going through a good patch, and are pretty much on the verge of separation. A lot of things have happened, but this is the most recent.

Recently, he’s taken to tickling me, he pokes my armpits, and I genuinely HATE it! He did it on Christmas Day in front of my parents. I said “darling, please don’t do that, I really don’t like it” and he kept continuing to do it. My mum thought it was really odd, childish behaviour. He said “he liked doing it because he enjoyed my reactions”. I had to tell him”no” and “stop it” 3x before he did. This appears to have become an ongoing theme.

The other day, I actually snapped and told him to respect my boundaries - I’d already told him to stop and he was grinning like an idiot. When I mentioned boundaries, he put his hands up and said “OK, I just won’t touch you anymore then” and walked off.

He still keeps trying touch me, lightly running fingers on my legs, neck and back which makes me shudder and feels really unpleasant. the other day he walked up to me and just placed his hand between my legs and kept trying to lightly bite my ear??? I’m guessing he was trying to be affectionate? It was all a bit strange really.

So the question is AITA?

TL;DR: husband keeps tickling me and I snapped and told him to respect my boundaries.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Financial_Second_480 on 2024-01-02 11:09:22+00:00.

My step daughter (24) told me a month ago she was pregnant with her first baby. I’ve been in her life since she was 3 and she’s like my own child. She wasn’t ready to announce to everyone yet but told me and her boyfriend. She announced over Christmas and it became obvious that I already knew. My husband wasn’t offended as I’ve handled a lot of the girl stuff. My step daughter’s mother was extremely offended and said I was disgusting for not telling her parents and It was above my pay grade.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/throwawayaccount4990 on 2024-01-02 10:20:59+00:00.

Some background, my family likes to play pranks with Christmas and birthday gifts it’s nothing new. I (f21) as well as my 5 siblings (from 29 to 37 years old) have all been pranked on our birthdays and on Christmas and usually it’s one or two gifts. This Christmas though, I was the only person to get all joke gifts. For example, I unwrapped a MacBook from my brother, but when I opened it, it was just some chocolate (which I don’t eat so I gave it away) and the MacBook was actually given to my sister inside a bag she wanted. Another “gift” was what I thought was a book I put on my Christmas list was actually just the book cover put on a dictionary. When I asked my mom about the book she told me she gave it to my Sil

This went on with each present my siblings or parents had given me. AirPods was just a charger block? Adapter? gift cards were used and had $0 balance, a card with Monopoly money, and so on totaling to about 12 joke gifts. I realized I went out of my way to get everyone something they wanted or they’d like didn’t get anything. At this point i was bummed so I went to the living room to watch tv with my boyfriend. At dinner they were all talking about how much they loved their gifts and when my dad asked why I hadn’t said anything about mine, I said there wasn’t much to say. Everyone but my boyfriend laughed and my mom said it was no big deal as everyone else also got some joke gifts. I told her every gift I got was a joke gifts and that the ones they got was also followed by the real one. My dad told me I needed to relax as I’m making a big deal about it and I’d have next Christmas to get the stuff on my list.

Not wanting to go back and forth i told my boyfriend I wanted to leave and we can spend the rest of Christmas break with his family then go home. My family got mad and told me not to go and to just stay because it wasn’t serious. I left and put my phone on do not disturb during the drive and by the time we got to bf’s parent’s house, I had several missed calls and texts from them calling me names like ungrateful, sensitive, and childish. They said I ruined Christmas and made my parents upset cause I left. The next day, I exchanged and opened gifts with my boyfriend and his family and one of the gifts I had gotten was the book I wanted (the book my mom pretended to gift me). I posted it on my instagram story and not even 0 minutes after posting it, my sister sent a screenshot of my story to the family group chat and they basically got mad at me for leaving and telling me I ruined Christmas over some presents. They told me I owe everyone, especially my parents, an apology because my mom spent new years sad because of my actions. Now I just want an outside party to tell me if I’m TA here? Am I in the wrong for being upset about the gifts and for leaving? After reading their messages and sitting on this for a few days I’m now feeling like maybe I was upset over nothing and need to apologize to them.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/please_i_dont_know on 2024-01-02 09:34:03+00:00.

I (19F) reported my coworker (52F) to our company’s HR for sexual harassment. We work in assisted living, and during our dinner service we were all congregated in the kitchen waiting for our cook to serve out the food. I’m a generally happy person at work, so I was listening to music and dancing. My coworker asked me why I was dancing. I had responded with “It makes me and everyone else happy!” She then told me to turn around in what I believed to be her pretending to be kicking my butt. I told her no because it made me incredibly uncomfortable. She kept demanding that I turn around. After repeated attempts to get her to stop, I just gave in because I wanted to remove myself from the hostile environment I was put in. In reality she caressed my behind with her foot for WAY too long. I then walked out of the kitchen and left the serving to the two Dining Room Assistants. Coworkers who were there or knew of the situation are split in whether or not I should have reported my coworker. The DRA’s (17m) that were in the kitchen with me are on my side and have already given their statements to HR, but my older colleagues believe that it wasn’t worth reporting her. I’ll put a copy of the email, minus names in the comments. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/bobblebob100 on 2024-01-02 06:34:09+00:00.

Parents planned to cook a new years day lunch and told me on NYE that we will be having it at 2pm (later than normal as a family member is working until then but thats fine). I said great, im going to my friends NYE and stopping at their house, and will walk to my parents house the next day in time for 2pm. Got up abit later than planned but still i knew walking over rather than get a taxi i would still make it before 2pm

Then got a message from my Dad at 1.30pm saying where are you as lunch is ready. Told him im walking over, be there in 10-15 mins as i was told to be here for 2pm.

He just replies saying "well the time has changed" and on the phone acting like im in the wrong for not being there and missing lunch. When i arrived he said why didnt you get here earlier - say 12.30. I replied because i was busy walking here at 12.30 and the meal still wasnt for another 1.5hrs so why would i.

If you change the time fine, but dont blame me when you dont inform me of the new time and im late. They acted all day like i was to blame which i dont understand how i am

Edit: to clarify, other family remember on NY and previously when meals were planned were told to arrive 15-30 mins before the meal