Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/chickennuggetx0x0 on 2024-01-02 07:30:47+00:00.

My best friend of 10 years is getting married, and I am bridesmaid. I have been with my fiancé for 7 years and he is only invited to the evening - I’d get it more if:

• she didn’t like him (she definitely does like him)
• it was a small wedding (there’s 80 to the day)
• we weren’t together for a long time (but we have been for 7 years and are planning our own wedding her partner is invited to all day).

When she told me I was very upset but didn’t let her know as it’s her wedding and she is stressed enough. I know how hard it can be to please people and writing a list is tough, but I honestly thought it’s a no brainer that my fiancé would be coming, especially as I’m a bridesmaid?

She has mentioned it and said she cannot afford to invite him, which is fair and everyone has their own way of getting married, but I do think it’s a little odd still. As a bridesmaid I’m also paying for my own dress, shoes and makeup, and it’s a mid week wedding and hen do so I need to take 4 days A/L - I love her so I am doing all of this for her, but again I think it’s abit strange - maybe I’m old fashioned idk

My fiancé isn’t going to come to the evening as he feels snubbed, but I don’t know how to tell my friend this as I don’t want to upset her or make her feel awkward.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/throwaway822201 on 2024-01-02 07:11:07+00:00.

I (39F) and my husband (40M) have 4 kids together, L who is 21, T who is 17, B who is 14, and R who is 9. This story focuses on T.

T has never been much of a good kid, but we still loved and supported them any way we could, loving them unconditionally. They suffer from ADHD, like my husband. The difference is that T uses it as an excuse for everything. Didn't do a chore? They're "forgetful". They fall behind in school? They can't sit still or focus.

A bit over a week ago, my kids got out for Christmas break and T has done nothing but lay in bed for most of the week on their phone. If they aren't laying down, they lounging around the living room or going out to the store or to school to catch up on work (they have that opportunity at their school). They only get up out of bed at around 11 am after I tell them to. Their only chore is to wash dishes, but they hardly do that.

Today, I was fed up with not having room in the kitchen and I yelled at T to get up. Once they came out of their room, I scolded them about the dishes and how they never do them, calling them lazy and ungrateful. They did end up doing them, but they had an attitude the whole time.

After they washed a load of dishes, they went back to their room to clean up a bit. My husband said I was a bit of an asshole for calling T lazy, as they do have stuff going on at school as well, drumline (?) being one of them, but I disagree. I was simply calling it as I saw it, and what I saw was laziness.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Significant-Bass-835 on 2024-01-02 07:28:42+00:00.

I have two childhood friends who I would like at my wedding. We have decided to have a very small wedding with 30 people plus kids, the problem is with my friends husband who has a drinking problem and I am worried about him getting super drunk and causing a scene, my other friend has a long term partner as well who we don't want to invite due to the same reasons.

Would I be an asshole if I just invite the two girls to come together and leave their partners off the invitation? We've all known each other since primary and are in our mid 20's

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Exciting-Tomato-551 on 2024-01-02 07:10:57+00:00.

My (F26)husband (M27)has what is now called a“toxic boy mom”and I never understood why that woman was practically in love with her own son,I’ll call Rio.I started dating him when I was 15 and he was 16.From the start she hated me.Whenever I was at the door and she answered,the door slammed in my face.She would refuse to let me sit on her furniture when I was over.I would sit on the floor.

Then as it was becoming clear I was here to stay,she only got worse.Whispering insults in my ear about how I’m too ugly to be with her precious son,how I’m too fat,how I should,I kid you not,go back to my country when she overheard me telling my husband how me and my family immigrated here when I was two years old,etc.

After Rio proposed I went over to her house to show her the engagement ring because he insisted and she pretended to be so happy for me,asking to hold my hand to see the ring better then she slowly slid it off my finger to put it on her own.I was confused while she was doing it,then shocked as a smug grin grew on her face.Me and Rio talked and decided she would not be coming to our wedding.I did not want one of the happiest days of my life with the person I love most being ruined by whatever antics that psycho was up to.We told her we moved it to a later date,she saw one of her relatives post on Facebook abt it and blew up at us.

A couple months after the wedding we found out I was pregnant and were beyond happy,keeping it a secret from her.We still visited her,sparsely,because Rio missed his only parent and I didn’t blame him.Keeping it a secret from her became a problem when I started showing,no amount of baggy clothes would hide it.When I was four months we found out I was having a girl.Later she saw I was very pregnant and scowled,bitterly asking Rio if we knew the gender.He told her it was a girl and she smiled and said she was happy for us. Then,she invited just me to go over to her house for some tea she’d found that would help the baby grow more healthily.That should’ve been a huge red flag.But she was so nice to me!She had put ground up sleeping pills into my tea and I had no idea because I assumed it was the pregnancy that was tiring me out.She said if I needed to take a nap it’d be ok with her,she had a guest room.I slept,only to be awoken to a jolting pain in my side.I yelled at her to stop while she kept raving about how no son of hers would have a daughter.She just kept doing it until I fished my phone out of my pocket and called my husband,he heard everything that was going on and we didn’t live that far away from her so he got here in 5 minutes.Throwing her off me and carrying me to his car and to the nearest hospital.

Rio disowned her. Not wanting to email or text her,we mailed her a letter about how her son will not visit her ever again.now,I’m afraid I overreacted too much because he was her only family and the only man in her house,her father passing away and her husband dying two years after Rio’s birth.So,aita?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/throwaway822201 on 2024-01-02 07:11:07+00:00.

I (39F) and my husband (40M) have 4 kids together, L who is 21, T who is 17, B who is 14, and R who is 9. This story focuses on T.

T has never been much of a good kid, but we still loved and supported them any way we could, loving them unconditionally. They suffer from ADHD, like my husband. The difference is that T uses it as an excuse for everything. Didn't do a chore? They're "forgetful". They fall behind in school? They can't sit still or focus.

A bit over a week ago, my kids got out for Christmas break and T has done nothing but lay in bed for most of the week on their phone. If they aren't laying down, they lounging around the living room or going out to the store or to school to catch up on work (they have that opportunity at their school). They only get up out of bed at around 11 am after I tell them to. Their only chore is to wash dishes, but they hardly do that.

Today, I was fed up with not having room in the kitchen and I yelled at T to get up. Once they came out of their room, I scolded them about the dishes and how they never do them, calling them lazy and ungrateful. They did end up doing them, but they had an attitude the whole time.

After they washed a load of dishes, they went back to their room to clean up a bit. My husband said I was a bit of an asshole for calling T lazy, as they do have stuff going on at school as well, drumline (?) being one of them, but I disagree. I was simply calling it as I saw it, and what I saw was laziness.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/BellaMizer on 2024-01-02 07:10:48+00:00.

I’m 31F who is on the spectrum and has a drug addicted sister 35F who’s been addicted to drugs most of her life since she was a teen. Growing up my relationship with my family isn’t that good since my dad is also a drug user who’s been using most of my life and introduced my older sister to the lifestyle. Also my mom and I don’t really have a relationship since she doesn’t understand my Autism and is also narcissistic. I mostly grew up with my mom but she wasn’t really there for me emotionally and was abusive growing up.

I personally never been addicted to anything and actually graduated from school with a masters. Despite doing so well neither of my parents supported me as I mostly rely on my grandparents for financial support as they are more well off. HOWEVER, my dad was able to be there for my older sister as he was able to get her a house under his name and help with her car despite her being on drugs and wrecking the place. As for my mom she was able to financially support my younger sister 18F who she had with my stepdad, as she gave her old car and helped with paying her dorm.

Growing up my mother never helped me with anything nor ever spend one on one time with me as it’s always has to be somebody with us. I always felt like a total burden to her. But when it comes to my older sister she and her would always criticize me at the same time as if it’s a bonding activity for them. But if I dare do that to my sister my mother would shut me down. At one point she flat out told me that whatever I was going through it’s nothing compared to my older sister despite me having C-PTSD from the constant bullying from my older sister and not being accepted by others due to my disability.

As for my Dad he gave me money as a way to bribe me but whenever I ask him for financial help he either tells me to ask my grandparents or my mom, even though he gets a trust fund from my grandparents and was able to retire at 65. But then my dad got pissed with me for it. Even if my dad was sober at the time he doesn’t want to actually help me.

Recently I just started with my career even though it’s only part time for now and my sister just had her third baby, but we found out that the baby was born addicted to drugs and cps took the kid away. For the first time she wanted to stay sober on her own decision. My Mom and Dad are still enabling her till this day and would do anything to coddle her such as allowing her to drink and find a way for her other children to stay with her and let her keep the house despite the current state.

Personally I felt cheated since I’ve done what I was suppose to be doing in life and despite me being on the spectrum I’ve done what I can such as going to school and getting an adult job. By seeing how my older sister had it good was a big slap in the face for me.

AITA for not wanting to do anything with my family even though both of my dad and sister are sober for now?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Exciting-Tomato-551 on 2024-01-02 07:10:57+00:00.

My (F26)husband (M27)has what is now called a“toxic boy mom”and I never understood why that woman was practically in love with her own son,I’ll call Rio.I started dating him when I was 15 and he was 16.From the start she hated me.Whenever I was at the door and she answered,the door slammed in my face.She would refuse to let me sit on her furniture when I was over.I would sit on the floor.

Then as it was becoming clear I was here to stay,she only got worse.Whispering insults in my ear about how I’m too ugly to be with her precious son,how I’m too fat,how I should,I kid you not,go back to my country when she overheard me telling my husband how me and my family immigrated here when I was two years old,etc.

After Rio proposed I went over to her house to show her the engagement ring because he insisted and she pretended to be so happy for me,asking to hold my hand to see the ring better then she slowly slid it off my finger to put it on her own.I was confused while she was doing it,then shocked as a smug grin grew on her face.Me and Rio talked and decided she would not be coming to our wedding.I did not want one of the happiest days of my life with the person I love most being ruined by whatever antics that psycho was up to.We told her we moved it to a later date,she saw one of her relatives post on Facebook abt it and blew up at us.

A couple months after the wedding we found out I was pregnant and were beyond happy,keeping it a secret from her.We still visited her,sparsely,because Rio missed his only parent and I didn’t blame him.Keeping it a secret from her became a problem when I started showing,no amount of baggy clothes would hide it.When I was four months we found out I was having a girl.Later she saw I was very pregnant and scowled,bitterly asking Rio if we knew the gender.He told her it was a girl and she smiled and said she was happy for us. Then,she invited just me to go over to her house for some tea she’d found that would help the baby grow more healthily.That should’ve been a huge red flag.But she was so nice to me!She had put ground up sleeping pills into my tea and I had no idea because I assumed it was the pregnancy that was tiring me out.She said if I needed to take a nap it’d be ok with her,she had a guest room.I slept,only to be awoken to a jolting pain in my side.I yelled at her to stop while she kept raving about how no son of hers would have a daughter.She just kept doing it until I fished my phone out of my pocket and called my husband,he heard everything that was going on and we didn’t live that far away from her so he got here in 5 minutes.Throwing her off me and carrying me to his car and to the nearest hospital.

Rio disowned her. Not wanting to email or text her,we mailed her a letter about how her son will not visit her ever again.now,I’m afraid I overreacted too much because he was her only family and the only man in her house,her father passing away and her husband dying two years after Rio’s birth.So,aita?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Aromatic_Cockroach89 on 2024-01-02 07:05:52+00:00.

I(16f) got into a fight with a girl who used to be my friend, A(16f), A had always been a pretty bad friend to me, was always trying to bring me down to make her feel better about herself, and would use her mental illness as an excuse for the way she treated everyone. Was constantly taking shit about anyone and everyone including girls I was friends with. Well this year i ended up getting tired of how A was treating me and was still cordial with her but decided not to be super close.

Before I decided to do this there was a moment last spring when A was talking about another girl who she was super good friends( I’ll call her S) with and said “S is so stupid she won’t ever get into any college”. In the moment I probably didn’t do enough and just told her that that wasn’t a nice thing to say, A replied with “it’s true though, S takes the easiest classes and gets bad grades so she’d be lucky to get in anywhere” . Then one day during this fall S came up to be and told me that she had heard that A had been saying bad things about her and asked me to tell her what she said. I debated on it and in the moment decided that I would tell her. And I did.

About a week later A and S were at a party together and got into a huge fight over what I told S, A then texted me that night and told me it was none of my business and that I was an awful friend and that I was a terrible person. We texted a little back and forth and I thought I had at least semi solved it but the next day, A texted me again(and I know she was at a sleepover with a bunch of girls I considered close friends) telling me that I was a huge bitch and A said “ you think your so perfect your an terrible person and say things about your friends so you have no right to criticize me”. I didn’t respond as I knew this wasn’t true because I would never say something like that about one of my close friends but it only kept getting worse, she kept texting me paragraphs about how I’d betrayed her and etc. I never replied to any of her texts and we haven’t talked since. It’s kinda awkward at school and I’m not sure if I did the right thing…should I reach out to her? Also I know this is probably petty high school drama that doesn’t matter but I don’t wanna be a bad person so if I’m wrong I wanna apologize

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/LonelyLife- on 2024-01-02 06:58:24+00:00.

I (35m) have been married to my wife, Mika (36f) for the past 5 years now. Ever since we’ve been dating each other in college, I’ve had this habit of softly putting my hand under her shirt and feeling up her body whenever we’re close, like when we’re hugging, or when we’re sitting side-by-side. I don’t do it too often, and I do it as an act of endearment and affection. Way back when we were in our 20s, when I first got comfortable getting this intimate with Mika, she would react as if I jump-scared her, and she would scream and panic a little bit. Thankfully, she’s gotten used to my affection.

This past New Years Eve, I sat on the couch beside Mika and watched random videos with her while talking about New Year resolutions. And I did my usual habit of sneaking my hand under her shirt, and I felt up her back. The conversation was relaxed until she told me that “I think one other resolution you should put down is keeping your fucking hands to yourself”. I said “fine fine” and I got my hand off of her, and I just thought she was joking around. But it turns out that she’s been dead serious about this. In fact, Mika has told me that her resolution is to stop putting herself in uncomfortable situations for other peoples’ comfort. And with that, we entered 2024 in a rather tense mood.

AITA here? Why did she just bring it up now, all of a sudden?

EDIT - I saw a few comments along the lines of "find a new wife". And my response to that is...nah. My wife's sudden mood swing did piss me off a little bit, though. It was not a great way to start 2024.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/BellaMizer on 2024-01-02 07:10:48+00:00.

I’m 31F who is on the spectrum and has a drug addicted sister 35F who’s been addicted to drugs most of her life since she was a teen. Growing up my relationship with my family isn’t that good since my dad is also a drug user who’s been using most of my life and introduced my older sister to the lifestyle. Also my mom and I don’t really have a relationship since she doesn’t understand my Autism and is also narcissistic. I mostly grew up with my mom but she wasn’t really there for me emotionally and was abusive growing up.

I personally never been addicted to anything and actually graduated from school with a masters. Despite doing so well neither of my parents supported me as I mostly rely on my grandparents for financial support as they are more well off. HOWEVER, my dad was able to be there for my older sister as he was able to get her a house under his name and help with her car despite her being on drugs and wrecking the place. As for my mom she was able to financially support my younger sister 18F who she had with my stepdad, as she gave her old car and helped with paying her dorm.

Growing up my mother never helped me with anything nor ever spend one on one time with me as it’s always has to be somebody with us. I always felt like a total burden to her. But when it comes to my older sister she and her would always criticize me at the same time as if it’s a bonding activity for them. But if I dare do that to my sister my mother would shut me down. At one point she flat out told me that whatever I was going through it’s nothing compared to my older sister despite me having C-PTSD from the constant bullying from my older sister and not being accepted by others due to my disability.

As for my Dad he gave me money as a way to bribe me but whenever I ask him for financial help he either tells me to ask my grandparents or my mom, even though he gets a trust fund from my grandparents and was able to retire at 65. But then my dad got pissed with me for it. Even if my dad was sober at the time he doesn’t want to actually help me.

Recently I just started with my career even though it’s only part time for now and my sister just had her third baby, but we found out that the baby was born addicted to drugs and cps took the kid away. For the first time she wanted to stay sober on her own decision. My Mom and Dad are still enabling her till this day and would do anything to coddle her such as allowing her to drink and find a way for her other children to stay with her and let her keep the house despite the current state.

Personally I felt cheated since I’ve done what I was suppose to be doing in life and despite me being on the spectrum I’ve done what I can such as going to school and getting an adult job. By seeing how my older sister had it good was a big slap in the face for me.

AITA for not wanting to do anything with my family even though both of my dad and sister are sober for now?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Aromatic_Cockroach89 on 2024-01-02 07:05:52+00:00.

I(16f) got into a fight with a girl who used to be my friend, A(16f), A had always been a pretty bad friend to me, was always trying to bring me down to make her feel better about herself, and would use her mental illness as an excuse for the way she treated everyone. Was constantly taking shit about anyone and everyone including girls I was friends with. Well this year i ended up getting tired of how A was treating me and was still cordial with her but decided not to be super close.

Before I decided to do this there was a moment last spring when A was talking about another girl who she was super good friends( I’ll call her S) with and said “S is so stupid she won’t ever get into any college”. In the moment I probably didn’t do enough and just told her that that wasn’t a nice thing to say, A replied with “it’s true though, S takes the easiest classes and gets bad grades so she’d be lucky to get in anywhere” . Then one day during this fall S came up to be and told me that she had heard that A had been saying bad things about her and asked me to tell her what she said. I debated on it and in the moment decided that I would tell her. And I did.

About a week later A and S were at a party together and got into a huge fight over what I told S, A then texted me that night and told me it was none of my business and that I was an awful friend and that I was a terrible person. We texted a little back and forth and I thought I had at least semi solved it but the next day, A texted me again(and I know she was at a sleepover with a bunch of girls I considered close friends) telling me that I was a huge bitch and A said “ you think your so perfect your an terrible person and say things about your friends so you have no right to criticize me”. I didn’t respond as I knew this wasn’t true because I would never say something like that about one of my close friends but it only kept getting worse, she kept texting me paragraphs about how I’d betrayed her and etc. I never replied to any of her texts and we haven’t talked since. It’s kinda awkward at school and I’m not sure if I did the right thing…should I reach out to her? Also I know this is probably petty high school drama that doesn’t matter but I don’t wanna be a bad person so if I’m wrong I wanna apologize

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/LonelyLife- on 2024-01-02 06:58:24+00:00.

I (35m) have been married to my wife, Mika (36f) for the past 5 years now. Ever since we’ve been dating each other in college, I’ve had this habit of softly putting my hand under her shirt and feeling up her body whenever we’re close, like when we’re hugging, or when we’re sitting side-by-side. I don’t do it too often, and I do it as an act of endearment and affection. Way back when we were in our 20s, when I first got comfortable getting this intimate with Mika, she would react as if I jump-scared her, and she would scream and panic a little bit. Thankfully, she’s gotten used to my affection.

This past New Years Eve, I sat on the couch beside Mika and watched random videos with her while talking about New Year resolutions. And I did my usual habit of sneaking my hand under her shirt, and I felt up her back. The conversation was relaxed until she told me that “I think one other resolution you should put down is keeping your fucking hands to yourself”. I said “fine fine” and I got my hand off of her, and I just thought she was joking around. But it turns out that she’s been dead serious about this. In fact, Mika has told me that her resolution is to stop putting herself in uncomfortable situations for other peoples’ comfort. And with that, we entered 2024 in a rather tense mood.

AITA here? Why did she just bring it up now, all of a sudden?

EDIT - I saw a few comments along the lines of "find a new wife". And my response to that is...nah. My wife's sudden mood swing did piss me off a little bit, though. It was not a great way to start 2024.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/lilbeannnnnnnnnn on 2024-01-02 06:52:51+00:00.

so we picked up a husky to take him off the streets. he hadn't been claimed by his potential owner in over 2 weeks and he had no collar, tag or chip.

we live in a shitty town that's overrun with strays. all the shelters are full and there's lost/abandoned/stray dogs and cats EVERYWHERE. and the dogs that do have homes aren't treated very well. they're always just left outside all day.

anyway he's full husky, my husband has owned a husky before but didn't fully express full husky qualities (like being super talkative). we made sure he got along with our lab before taking him home and they were super playful so we agreed to take him in. (the husky is Koda, our lab is Max). well, he's got zero training, which is fine since my husband loves and is good at dog training. he peed all over the house, and we scolded him but wasn't really mad. he started showing signs of being territorial. he'd growl if max got ANYWHERE close to his food, if max tried to play with koda with a toy he'd nip at him and would be selfish. when we went to bed, we put our lab in his kennel because he's trained we didn't want something to happen while we slept. but max wanted to play, he kept whining and koda didn't like hearing that and kept getting close to max and barking at him. we eventually got them to settle and got through the night. i went to pick up my daughter from my moms (she's 6 weeks old) and koda won't stop licking her. (it's better than biting but still) im constantly trying to keep them apart. then he started being all alpha to our lab and bullying him. well i went to my moms for nye that night and my husband had work so he put max in his kennel and left koda out because he's the most calm that way. we can't let him howl since we live in an apartment. they're chill but im afraid of a noise complaint.

i came home to our carpet DESTROYED in our room. it's torn to shreds. paint and wood chewed in our door and it's frame, and poop literally everywhere. im talking in every room, on the walls, smeared all over the tile, etc. and all our cords shredded. i switched the dogs and put the husky in the kennel and had to listen to him whimpering all night. we take him out often cause i know he's a high energy dog. we have a huge field next to us and we let them run and play multiple times a day. i love him and he's adorable but i just don't have the energy to handle a new baby and our dogs fighting all the time. i barley get enough sleep as is and now i have to train a dog (cause my husband works and i stay at home) i knew it wasn't gonna be easy training but he's just an asshole. i feel bad for wanting him gone but he seemed happy where he got him from. he would hang out at a firework stand and he got food, water and attention. so idk what to do. i don't want to get rid of him but im afraid for my daughter, our lab, and getting kicked out of our apartment for him destroying everything.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/jmagoric on 2024-01-02 06:43:47+00:00.

I am a 14 year old boy at secondaryr school in the UK. There are some people in my class that have bullied me my whole time at school from year 7 to year 10, and it started to get on top of me. Therefore, it was getting out of hand, so I told my head of year, because before they started bullying me, I was good friends with them. I told my head of year not to tell them off yet, because I want them to try and become back friends with me. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Ok-Release9392 on 2024-01-02 06:38:30+00:00.

I (26F) have a brother (24M) Who has for the lack of a better word alot of mental issues. I won't get into any detail, but he struggles with being around strangers and by that a mean if he has to talk to the delivery man he will have a panic attack, the only people he's okay being around is family members he knew ever since he was a kid including me and his fiance (26M) but even with that if there's more than 3 of us he'll have a panic attack. This is something my entire family is concerned about and yes, he's getting therapy and help for this, he knows this is a problem and he's dealing with it like a champ. Onto the actual story. I got married a few months ago, my family comes from the cacusaus mountains and even though we now live in the us and my husband's family is off different origin my family arranged a huge wedding. It basically went as is during the actual wedding ceremony they'd only be close friends and family members but during the feast/party after the vows All the guests would arrive. We knew my brother wouldn't be able to handle the party part so he'd only he attending the more secluded Wedding ceremony. My brother was ecstatic for my wedding and thought he'd be able to attend the ceremony since he had been doing great in therapy. But a few hours before the wedding my brothers fiance called me saying my brother was extremely nervous and probably if he even set foot in that wedding ceremony he'd have a panic attack, he basically asked me something along the lines off "is it okay if he's high during the wedding?" (My brother has a medical card for marijuana for stuff like this). Though I was upset I knew it wasn't my brothers fault so I said aslong as he didn't smell like weed it would be fine. During the wedding ceremony he thankfully didn't smell like weed but was very calm and was even able to attend the party. he didn't necessarily seem high either, He didn't really talk to anyone to no one noticed. But this was also his first time meeting my husband and he was ashamed that he literally had to be high to meet his brother in law, so I didn't tell my husband about it, I knew my brother would be ashamed and embarrassing and it wasn't my place to say anything, but my mom did know. A few days ago while we were talking she (my mother) cracked a joke about it Infront of my husband. My husband was confused and my mom straight up told him about my brother being high at my wedding.

After my mom left my husband was pissed with me, he didn't mind that my brother was high at all, if that's what he needed to do he didn't mind, he's angry at me because I didn't tell him and that I even though he'd judge my brother in the first place. This is in no way marriage ending before some people's overeact in the comments, he's just been pissed at me. So reddit, AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/lilbeannnnnnnnnn on 2024-01-02 06:52:51+00:00.

so we picked up a husky to take him off the streets. he hadn't been claimed by his potential owner in over 2 weeks and he had no collar, tag or chip.

we live in a shitty town that's overrun with strays. all the shelters are full and there's lost/abandoned/stray dogs and cats EVERYWHERE. and the dogs that do have homes aren't treated very well. they're always just left outside all day.

anyway he's full husky, my husband has owned a husky before but didn't fully express full husky qualities (like being super talkative). we made sure he got along with our lab before taking him home and they were super playful so we agreed to take him in. (the husky is Koda, our lab is Max). well, he's got zero training, which is fine since my husband loves and is good at dog training. he peed all over the house, and we scolded him but wasn't really mad. he started showing signs of being territorial. he'd growl if max got ANYWHERE close to his food, if max tried to play with koda with a toy he'd nip at him and would be selfish. when we went to bed, we put our lab in his kennel because he's trained we didn't want something to happen while we slept. but max wanted to play, he kept whining and koda didn't like hearing that and kept getting close to max and barking at him. we eventually got them to settle and got through the night. i went to pick up my daughter from my moms (she's 6 weeks old) and koda won't stop licking her. (it's better than biting but still) im constantly trying to keep them apart. then he started being all alpha to our lab and bullying him. well i went to my moms for nye that night and my husband had work so he put max in his kennel and left koda out because he's the most calm that way. we can't let him howl since we live in an apartment. they're chill but im afraid of a noise complaint.

i came home to our carpet DESTROYED in our room. it's torn to shreds. paint and wood chewed in our door and it's frame, and poop literally everywhere. im talking in every room, on the walls, smeared all over the tile, etc. and all our cords shredded. i switched the dogs and put the husky in the kennel and had to listen to him whimpering all night. we take him out often cause i know he's a high energy dog. we have a huge field next to us and we let them run and play multiple times a day. i love him and he's adorable but i just don't have the energy to handle a new baby and our dogs fighting all the time. i barley get enough sleep as is and now i have to train a dog (cause my husband works and i stay at home) i knew it wasn't gonna be easy training but he's just an asshole. i feel bad for wanting him gone but he seemed happy where he got him from. he would hang out at a firework stand and he got food, water and attention. so idk what to do. i don't want to get rid of him but im afraid for my daughter, our lab, and getting kicked out of our apartment for him destroying everything.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Storage_Prudent on 2024-01-02 06:37:36+00:00.

Hello, You can call me Mikey (19M) and this is a story about me and my girlfriend, you can call her Angelina (21F). She is a trans woman and I am a bi man (this helps with context later on).

So to start off; me and my girlfriend have been through rough patches. We’ve cheated on one another very early on in our relationship. To put into detail: I flirted with someone online regrettably, and she went on a dating app and hooked up and had a sexual encounter with another man in order to get revenge on me for my e-flirting.

Now, most would break up after this sort of thing, but I didn’t want to give up on us and neither did she. We worked on ourselves and after some time apart we decided that we should be together again. We decided to rebuild a happy relationship built on trust and not betrayal like what we had previously.

Flash-forward to the present. We live together still, we work, and I tend to enjoy video games in my free time. I play with friends. Online friends that I have met (typically from games like Overwatch and Dead by Daylight). Usually my free time intercepts her work schedule and when she gets off of work I’m usually on the game with my friends. My friends tend to be members of the LGBTQ (same as I and my girlfriend). My girlfriend works from home. So she tends to get off of work and then come straight to the room. When she gets back into the room I feel bad if I continue playing the game. After a long day of work I’m sure she just wants to kick back and cuddle for the remainder of the night. But I’m mistaken. She starts yelling at me, accusing me of leaving because I was flirting with my friends and since my friend was a gay man I was obviously trying to be sneaky. I didn’t even leave automatically, I finished the remainder of the match I was currently in. Honestly, I wasn’t doing anything wrong, or flirting with anyone. I’m scared she has the wrong idea and just doesn’t trust me because of it. She said I got too defensive and that’s the only reason why she was upset. I’m confused, am I in the wrong? Am I the asshole?!

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/jmagoric on 2024-01-02 06:43:47+00:00.

I am a 14 year old boy at secondaryr school in the UK. There are some people in my class that have bullied me my whole time at school from year 7 to year 10, and it started to get on top of me. Therefore, it was getting out of hand, so I told my head of year, because before they started bullying me, I was good friends with them. I told my head of year not to tell them off yet, because I want them to try and become back friends with me. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Ok-Release9392 on 2024-01-02 06:38:30+00:00.

I (26F) have a brother (24M) Who has for the lack of a better word alot of mental issues. I won't get into any detail, but he struggles with being around strangers and by that a mean if he has to talk to the delivery man he will have a panic attack, the only people he's okay being around is family members he knew ever since he was a kid including me and his fiance (26M) but even with that if there's more than 3 of us he'll have a panic attack. This is something my entire family is concerned about and yes, he's getting therapy and help for this, he knows this is a problem and he's dealing with it like a champ. Onto the actual story. I got married a few months ago, my family comes from the cacusaus mountains and even though we now live in the us and my husband's family is off different origin my family arranged a huge wedding. It basically went as is during the actual wedding ceremony they'd only be close friends and family members but during the feast/party after the vows All the guests would arrive. We knew my brother wouldn't be able to handle the party part so he'd only he attending the more secluded Wedding ceremony. My brother was ecstatic for my wedding and thought he'd be able to attend the ceremony since he had been doing great in therapy. But a few hours before the wedding my brothers fiance called me saying my brother was extremely nervous and probably if he even set foot in that wedding ceremony he'd have a panic attack, he basically asked me something along the lines off "is it okay if he's high during the wedding?" (My brother has a medical card for marijuana for stuff like this). Though I was upset I knew it wasn't my brothers fault so I said aslong as he didn't smell like weed it would be fine. During the wedding ceremony he thankfully didn't smell like weed but was very calm and was even able to attend the party. he didn't necessarily seem high either, He didn't really talk to anyone to no one noticed. But this was also his first time meeting my husband and he was ashamed that he literally had to be high to meet his brother in law, so I didn't tell my husband about it, I knew my brother would be ashamed and embarrassing and it wasn't my place to say anything, but my mom did know. A few days ago while we were talking she (my mother) cracked a joke about it Infront of my husband. My husband was confused and my mom straight up told him about my brother being high at my wedding.

After my mom left my husband was pissed with me, he didn't mind that my brother was high at all, if that's what he needed to do he didn't mind, he's angry at me because I didn't tell him and that I even though he'd judge my brother in the first place. This is in no way marriage ending before some people's overeact in the comments, he's just been pissed at me. So reddit, AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Storage_Prudent on 2024-01-02 06:37:36+00:00.

Hello, You can call me Mikey (19M) and this is a story about me and my girlfriend, you can call her Angelina (21F). She is a trans woman and I am a bi man (this helps with context later on).

So to start off; me and my girlfriend have been through rough patches. We’ve cheated on one another very early on in our relationship. To put into detail: I flirted with someone online regrettably, and she went on a dating app and hooked up and had a sexual encounter with another man in order to get revenge on me for my e-flirting.

Now, most would break up after this sort of thing, but I didn’t want to give up on us and neither did she. We worked on ourselves and after some time apart we decided that we should be together again. We decided to rebuild a happy relationship built on trust and not betrayal like what we had previously.

Flash-forward to the present. We live together still, we work, and I tend to enjoy video games in my free time. I play with friends. Online friends that I have met (typically from games like Overwatch and Dead by Daylight). Usually my free time intercepts her work schedule and when she gets off of work I’m usually on the game with my friends. My friends tend to be members of the LGBTQ (same as I and my girlfriend). My girlfriend works from home. So she tends to get off of work and then come straight to the room. When she gets back into the room I feel bad if I continue playing the game. After a long day of work I’m sure she just wants to kick back and cuddle for the remainder of the night. But I’m mistaken. She starts yelling at me, accusing me of leaving because I was flirting with my friends and since my friend was a gay man I was obviously trying to be sneaky. I didn’t even leave automatically, I finished the remainder of the match I was currently in. Honestly, I wasn’t doing anything wrong, or flirting with anyone. I’m scared she has the wrong idea and just doesn’t trust me because of it. She said I got too defensive and that’s the only reason why she was upset. I’m confused, am I in the wrong? Am I the asshole?!

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Fair_Victory_3591 on 2024-01-02 06:28:03+00:00.

I was at a New Year’s dinner with my boyfriend (he wanted to kiss as the clock hit midnight) and a lot of his family was there. Including his young cousins (8, 11, and 13). I was sitting across from their father during the dinner and one of his kids asked me what I did for work. I said it probably wasn’t very good to talk about right then.

For context, I’m in college studying to become a forensic pathologist and I intern at my local coroners office. So, I work with dead people. It’s a tough job and I know for many it’s an uncomfortable topic but I focus on the good im doing, which makes it a lot easier. My boyfriend told me I probably shouldn’t talk about it at the dinner, and I said I wouldn’t so long as it wasn’t brought up. Cause I don’t want to lie.

Their father insisted, so I pulled him aside to tell him that I worked at a coroners office, and I didn’t think his kids would want to hear about it. He said her kids were mature enough to handle it, and seemed offended that I thought otherwise. I took his word for it, so I tried to give a child friendly description of it. Saying that was sorta like a detective who figures out how people died.

This might be where in the asshole. After dinner, the oldest kid talked to me one on one and started asking me questions about it. I tried to keep it as PG as I could, but at one point he asked me if I got to cut open bodies like on TV. I said that it was a bit outside my pay grade, but I helped. He thought it was awesome, and ran off.

I guess he told his siblings about it because today I got a very strongly worded message from their mother about how I “told her young children about how I played with dead bodies” and now their youngest is terrified. Apparently she’s mad at my boyfriend too for dating someone with such a dark job.

I was just answering a kids questions. He was mature enough to ask about it, and he clearly already knew it happened, so I don’t really see the harm in telling him the truth. And I don’t see how it’s my fault his siblings found out. My boyfriend’s upset too because he thinks I should’ve just not talked about it. Am I in the wrong here?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Rude_Yoghurt3012 on 2024-01-02 05:40:00+00:00.

My (M20) girlfriend (F21) and I were going out today and I saw a little bird that I thought was cute. I took out my phone and recorded it, telling my girlfriend how cute I think it is. She recorded me telling her that and recording the bird. She then posted the video on TikTok and wrote “new ick unlocked”. I saw it and got mad at her because I don’t like being made fun of like that, and she told me to relax because it is just a TikTok trend. I told her to take it down but she didn’t for a while. I got mad at her and she finally took it down but called me a party pooper and is ignoring me rn. Aita?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ThrowRA5248 on 2024-01-02 05:18:53+00:00.

So (27m) I've been dating my gf (26f) for a year. Things have been going well. I have a friend Rhea(26f), been friends since college.

Rhea is a vegetarian. She has never tried it growing up and doesn't want to. and she's not "a bitch about it",as my girl says. She has no problem with someone eating it beside her or smn. She just doesn't eat it.

Onto the topic, I love cooking and I occasionally invite our friends over for dinne. Whenever I host dinner, Rhea always checks in with me if I'm gonna be cooking something vegetarian or should she just bring something. I always do as I like it too. I'll admit, sometimes when it's not on the menu, I still do because I don't want someone to feel left out and as a host it's my responsibility.

This thanksgiving, a friend hosted dinner and Rhea brought a dish that everyone liked and the host said she didn't have to as she cooked for her as well. My girlfriend said that she never brought a dish over at my place. Rhea told her that I already do my best to accommodate. Well this pissed my girlfriend off and she left the table. I went after her, she started screaming about how I never told her (not true, I have mentioned this,multiple times) Basically made everyone uncomfortable and Rhea left after saying she was sorry if her eating habits were causing trouble.

When we went back to the table, the mood was sour and when we were leaving my friends got me alone and told me how it's my girl's fault for ruining the dinner. I agree, whatever the issue was, could've been discussed in private. I did try to talk about it with her again, but she said she's good and doesn't wanna talk about it anymore.

I'm hosting a dinner again as a friend of ours is coming back from abroad. My gf said there would be no vegetarian food this time as "she doesn't wanna see me prioritizing some other girl over her again." I again tried to talk about this and she says she can't believe I'm cooking a whole new dish for some girl and how it's disrespectful to her. I told her she's a friend and everyone wants her here. This turned into screaming again that ended with her saying she knows I'm cheating on her with Rhea and calling her names. I've tried to comfort her on this, have tried to talk if something else has happened that makes her feel this way but I got nothing more than "you're not cooking for her, end of topic".

I don't understand. I've done nothing to show that I have any interest in my friend. There's no history between us if anyone's wondering. I host these dinners usually once a month and that's the only time she's over. We don't really hang out with just the two of us and she's never done anything that'll make my girlfriend uncomfortable or I'd have shut it down myself.

That thanksgiving dinner was the first time this was brought up. I need an actual answer from her other than "I don't want you to".So AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Upset-Sorbet-6262 on 2024-01-02 05:18:24+00:00.

My daughter (16f), is very smart and doesn’t treat that lightly, she push herself as far as she can go. She’s in all the AP classes her school offer, she take 3 electives (social studies, economics and computer science) and one self study elective (law, my husband is a lawyer so he helps her), she take 2 second languages outside of the mandatory English one (English is a second language in my country. She takes Italian and Russian).

Obviously I’m very proud of her for doing all of this and I talk about it ALOT.

This has never been a problem until recently at a family dinner I was telling my mom about my daughter recent 100% in AP math when my sister snapped at me to shut up about my daughter already and that she’s not that special.

I was shocked because my sister was always one of my daughter’s biggest supporter. I don’t remember her saying one bad thing about my daughter before this.

My mom tried to calm my sister down but her face was red which was a big tell about how mad she was, she scolded me for bragging about my daughter accomplishments when I know how her daughter was just kicked out (her words) from AP math for a few too many bad grades.

I didn’t know about it, she never told me but she obviously told my mom since she was on her side.

I apologised because I wanted to keep the peace but I guess it was obvious that I was still confused because she just kept scolding me.

After a minute of sitting there my husband just excused us and we left.

I’ve been getting texts from relatives berating me for insulting my niece like that.

I’m so confused but no one listen when I try to say that I don’t know.

I’m starting to really feel bad and I think I should apologise again and talk to my sister but I need to know, AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/my-hero-macadamia on 2024-01-02 05:14:45+00:00.

Bride is getting married in May and asked me to be her bridesmaid over the summer. I was ecstatic and of course said yes.

Background:

I dated one of the groomsmen, who also happens to be officiating the wedding, seriously for 5 years. We split amicably back in feb due to me traveling for work, us struggling with long distance, and simply growing apart. He and I had never ever fought (like really fought) through the entire relationship and breakup. We see each other quite often because we share the same friends and a dog that we both love and agreed to copawrent. When we see each other, we simply catch up like friends and it’s never been an issue.

Until November. We got into an argument. A lot of pent up feelings came up (him expressing hurt about me leaving, me being frustrated that he never conveyed those feelings to me or asked me to stay) that turned into anger toward one another. A couple days later we made up and hugged it out. And this all happened in private btw but ofc we talked to our friends about it so they knew.

So bride has understandably been having a lot of anxiety about us at the wedding and worried something between us will come up. She has, however, not talked to me at all about it. I tried talking to her while the fight was going on but was pretty much met with silence. My other girlfriends were very supportive and gave me advice, despite their SOs also being friends with my ex. It was a tricky situation because we are all friends, but i wasn’t asking anyone to take sides, just really needed a friend in that moment and didn’t get that from her.

So instead of talking to me and just asking where X and I stand, she’s nixed me from the bridal party and disinvited me from the wedding altogether. And ended it with “I love you, you’re one of my closest friends, I just have to think about me and my wedding right now”

I’m trying to be understanding that she has wedding brain, she has anxiety, and she has every right to be stressed about me and ex together but I can’t help feeling so hurt that she doesn’t trust me as a friend to be 100% there for her on her wedding day.

Is it really terrible of me not to go to her shower? Like I just really don’t want to spend money on a gift after this lmao. Especially when I feel like I’ve already put a lot into this friendship that I’m not getting back out. (I just watched their obnoxious 1 year old German shepherd—who’s given me scars btw—for 2 weeks while they were abroad for no payment because I am a good friend like that so someone stop me from sending a venmo request right now)

TLDR; Was originally a bridesmaid. Dated groomsman for 5 years and we split in feb. Never fought until November when some pent up feelings came up but we made up and hugged it out. Bride is worried about drama at her wedding and doesn’t want me at the wedding altogether but still wants to be friends and expects me at her shower.

UPDATE: wow, didn’t expect so many responses but appreciate the majority for confirming I’m NTA 😂. Friendship likely over and going to talk to the ex tomorrow (it’s 2am where I live now) just to see where he stands on it