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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/the1logos on 2024-01-02 05:14:23+00:00.

Figured I'd post this one on the actual AITA sub too, so...

This is sort of an update for my last post on another sub where I (21M) asked for some advice I guess regarding my ex (20F). A lot of people were quite validating, but I think the response was overall too dramatic, but that's the internet I guess. The one comment calling me the asshole really stuck out to me though so I reached out to apologize and she invited me to her new years party to, in her words, "Start a more casual friendship." I had nothing to do last night and I figured I'd go since her place was a small walk away.

When I got there it was packed with people which already isn't my scene, but there were only a couple of hours until midnight and I could steal some chips and people watch for a while. I was there for about an hour before I saw my ex. She pulled me away to her room and she thanked me for coming, told me to enjoy myself and gave me a drink.

Now I don't really drink often, but I can handle my alcohol pretty damn well and always have. (the legal age where I'm from is 18 don't come for us.) I figured it was in my hand already and I didn't want it to go to waste. Now when I tell you that this drink was STRONG. I mean it. I could barely taste the mixer, it was horrible in the way only straight vodka is. I ended up drinking it pretty fast so i didn't have to taste it all night, but that whatever. I'm rambling at this point, but it was a really bad drink and it got to me fast.

Around 11 random people start coming up to me asking if I'm her Ex and if i still like her and what it was like to date her. Everyone and their cousin was interested in her and I's relationship suddenly and eventually someone let it slip that she was planning on kissing me at midnight.Now it was probably just a rumor or someones drunk idea of a prank but I decided I was done for the night and would rather just watch Animal Crossing fireworks so I texted her that I had fun but was leaving.

Today I woke up to a million texts from her saying I shouldn't have left, that I should have spent the night if I was drinking, that it was rude to leave without a proper goodbye, that no one can leave New Years parties before midnight, and that I need to go apologize to her and her sister.

AITA for leaving early? I know it was probably dumb to walk home while not fully sober, but it was just a few blocks and I'm fine, right?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/almostheavenNOT on 2024-01-02 05:03:02+00:00.

My daughter transfered to a new school this year. It's a private school, and part of their traditions is a beginning of the year overnight class trip every August. She was too late for this year, but next years' is a 2 night trip to Philadelphia.

One problem: no more than 6 people can share a hotel room, and there are now 37 girls that would need one. We found out that there's a group of 4 'day-only' kids (3 girls, 1 boy) that actually do stay overnight, at the same hotel even, they just don't do it through the school.

The four aren't super well liked and there have been bullying issues, especially against the boy, but they're friends with each other, so the parents banded together and decided to just fund and chaperone them themselves to avoid any issues. They do two rooms: one for the kids, and one for whichever parent goes.

They've reached out and offered to let my daughter share with them. She wants to do it. I'm not comfortable. Coed sleepovers are not acceptable. It's completely inappropriate.

We've been back and forth with this for weeks. The verdict is clear. There's no open room she can get into through the school, they're not getting her a single room, we can't afford to do anything similar to the other independent group, and we just can't accept a coed sleepover. Going is not an option.

She's devastated and begging me to reconsider. She says it's my fault that she even had to transfer schools sophmore year and that we've had to move so much that this is the first time we're going to be somewhere for multiple years. I think we need to pass, but now my husband is starting to waffle and say that maybe we should consider making an exception because everything has been hard on her and this is a major school tradition (and opportunity for her to make friends).

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/AITAMod on 2024-01-02 04:47:25+00:00.

Keep things civil. Rules still apply.

New year, who dis?

Oh! Dis Rule 1, our old friend. We’ve reviewed Rule 1 before but we had some requests to dive a little deeper, specifically with regard to armchair diagnoses. So let’s do this.

As you know, Rule 1 is “Be Civil.” Armchair diagnoses, i.e. telling someone they have a mental disorder of some sort, are not civil. There’s a couple of reasons for that. One is that usually it’s clearly intended as an insult. That’s uncivil at face value, but also it’s really fucking messed up to use a condition that millions of people suffer from as an insult. Another reason is that you don’t have the doctorate needed to diagnose anyone with anything. No, put your hand down, we don’t believe you. And finally, even if you did have that degree, there’s no possible way for you to accurately diagnose anyone based on a few thousand characters in a reddit post. Which is, incidentally, why it would be unethical for qualified people to do so, which you’d know if you actually did have the credentials.

So how does this play out in the comments? Claiming that “(person X) is a narcissist/autistic/etc.” is a classic example of violating this part of the rule. No matter how much experience you may have with someone in your real life that is actually (fill in the blank condition), you can NOT diagnose someone as such based on a Reddit post. You may relate your experiences to another user, but that’s about it. In short, OP isn't here for a medical diagnosis and AITA isn't here to provide it.

Another common violation we see that’s related to all of this is usage of the R-slur. Yes, calling someone a “retard”, or any variation thereof, is absolutely uncivil. That includes versions such as “fucktard, libtard” or any other cross-breed word that one may dream up. There’s more info here on why this is a slur, and we’re not accepting arguments on this point. Using it will result in you being banned from this subreddit permanently and reported to reddit for hate.

So why are we discussing this? We’re asking you to judge actions, not the whole person. Making a diagnosis is inherently judging the whole person. It doesn’t treat them with respect, give them an alternate perspective, or do anything to help them grow. We’re not here for you to get your jollies by insulting people, and we never will be.

As always, do not directly link to posts/comments or post uncensored screenshots here. Any comments with links will be removed.

We're currently accepting new mod applications

We always need US overnight time mods. Currently, we could also benefit from mods who can be active during peak "bored at work" hours, i.e. US morning to mid-afternoon.

• You need to be able to mostly mod from a PC. Mobile mod tools are improving and trickling in, but are not quite there yet.
• You need to be at least 18.
• You have to be an active AITA participant with multiple comments in the past few months.

We'd also like to highlight the regional spinoffs we have linked on the sidebar! If you have any suggestions or additions to this, please let us know in the comments.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/cptflowerhomo on 2023-12-31 02:30:34+00:00.

I (30M) live in a shared house with 5 other people, not by choice but because there's a housing crisis in Ireland and there's no option to move to a studio or different apartment on my own.

I've lived at this place for almost 3 years. We've had some new people move in, no one really knows each other. We all got along until a pair of sisters moved in.

I don't know what exactly happened but two of the older men are teaming up against these ladies.They're very quiet, the only thing they do is that they cook a lot, fresh, which I find normal. They work in elderly care so they do have to wash their uniforms frequently, but not like, daily.

So there is a history of the guys (30+ and 50+) telling the women what to do and what not to do, complaints about them cooking and washing etc. All of a sudden we have a cleaning rota that only the two guys and the women know of, and I've never seen the men clean. I live in a room next to the kitchen and the main front door, so I'd hear it if anyone would.

Now, I've been ill for quite a while and was behind on laundry (I wash every two weeks and bedding once a month because of allergies and skin issues). I've been washing for the past 3 days, all at night to save some money (electricity is less expensive at night here). I came home from visiting a friend in hospital this evening and found a letter complaining about doing the laundry every day, and how this person only does his laundry once a month and that we need to save money.

As I have ADHD and I'm autistic, I tend to take stuff like that very personal so I was upset. I went up to his room to talk about the letter but he didn't answer the door.

I managed to see him in the kitchen at 1 am, and confronted him with the fact that it was me doing laundry the past days and I said "why didn't you go talk to any of us" - to which he answered "I don't need to talk to people when I don't want to, we need a WhatsApp group". I told him that he's an adult and need to use his words when something is bothering him, and that he will have to talk to us when something bothers him. He said I was defending the two ladies and their "wastefulness", and how they cause the bills to go up. He also said he hated it when someone knocked on his door because he doesn't want to talk to anyone in the house.

One of my other housemates came down because we were getting loud in our discussion and said he'd solve it.

I will contact my landlord if this is not solved with all of us next week.

I, personally, think I'm right. I have a hard time talking to people I don't know, but I try. I've lived in shared housing for the past 7 years,used to house meetings, that has always worked very well. When it's through text only it always got worse.

So, reddit, AITA? and if you have some tips on how to proceed, always welcome.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/imIvyBlack on 2023-12-31 03:22:06+00:00.

My bf, his brother, and his friends have been planning a skiing trip to Colorado for a few months. My bf added me to the group chat about a month ago, I guess as an invitation or to let me know they were all wanting to go. The chat is entirely in another language and translating 1 or 2 comments takes me 30 minutes (because they write in English characters, so I have to translate into the Asian characters by hand before I can google translate). It looked like most people wanted to go in February, enough time for me to earn 2 days PTO, but then this afternoon I found out everyone wanted a spontaneous trip tomorrow and we’d all go back home next week. I don’t have the PTO. Bf keeps saying to just take unpaid time off and that’s what the higher ups do to take their long vacations anyways. This is my first real job and it took me 1.5 years to land it after uni, so I’m hesitant to do anything that might get me fired. I asked some basic questions. Where are we staying? How and when are we going and how and when do we get back? What are we going to eat? All met with “It’s okay. We’ll figure it out.” Spontaneity is fine, though not preferred. Money isn’t the biggest issue. Based on my calculations, if I went for the only day I can go, it would’ve costed around $500. The problem for me is the timing and the language barrier. Everyone can speak English, but they prefer speaking in their Native language, leaving me feeling like a third wheel. When they speak english, it’s just to me. I’ve discussed this language barrier with bf as this isn’t my first time feeling left out and his only solution is if I just learn his language to be able to talk with everyone. For these reasons, I said I didn’t want to go but didn’t stop bf from going. Bf didn’t want to go without me and now everyone has canceled the trip because of me and kicked me from the group chat. At the end, bf asked me why I couldn’t just get along with his friends and asked why him being there with me wasn’t enough. Was I too dramatic? Should I have just gone?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Fit_Professional6065 on 2023-12-31 03:21:05+00:00.

AITA to yell at my older brother in front of my cousins?

I’m a 17M, I know this was wrong of me to yell at my 22M brother in front of my cousins, but it felt great to take off some burden. So, for context, I have an older brother that isn’t the best brother you could hope for but I still loved him and looked at him like an idol when I was young, but gradually, he has been increasingly more annoying and lazier every years, to the point that he has never gotten a job in his entire life since he felt like it was a waste of time and that playing video games and that earning around 1000$ per year off selling in-game items was better, in the other hand, I took a job the moment I had the legal age and always feed him (bring him food) every single week because he’s lazy to go out and always asks me to bring him something home. Today, he ordered some food and was to shy to even pay the employee and asked me to do it when I was busy and then kept making snarky and annoying comments on me at the dining area in front of my cousins, even though he ran to the toilet. These events pissed me off which then led to me yelling at him while he kept defending himself by repeating Ok and? Idgaf b*** *, so am I the asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/United_Date_5761 on 2023-12-31 02:53:28+00:00.

Sorry in advance for the long post.

Some background: My (29M) girlfriend (25F) comes from a very traditional culture. Dating is generally frowned upon and her family does not know we are in a long term relationship. Because of this, it is common for her to be unable to attend events/travel with my family/friends or invite me to events with her family/friends.

For NYE, my girlfriend was going to be celebrating with her community. They celebrate every year, however; due to a death in the family, they were not celebrating this year. We just found out they wouldn't be celebrating about ~1.5 weeks ago. Upon learning this, I told my girlfriend I wanted to celebrate with her because we never get to celebrate, and she responded with "We'll see, I'm not sure".

I brought it up 2 more times, and she gave the same response. This is normal for us, due to her traditional background. She has to come up with excuses any time she is away from home, so she often doesn't confirm plans with me until 1-2 days before some get together or event. Sometimes, she never updates me, so I wait around to get an answer from her and never receive one until I bring it up.

For this situation, my friend informed me earlier this week that he would be doing a get together for NYE. This isn't a "party" by any means. Its maybe ~10/12 of us and some significant others. But majority are guys and we've all known each other for years. Its common for us to do cookouts, movie nights, etc together. I told my friend that I would attend his get together, but my girlfriend is unsure if she will be able to attend.

My girlfriend is now saying that AITA because I RSVP'd for myself without her, and told them she would "let me know" when she can (even though she sometimes never even gives me any answer). In her mind, because I did that, it "makes no difference whether she's there or not because I already confirmed" and I "act like I'm single because I go to these events by myself". My girlfriend said this as she was on the way to the club to go out with her girlfriends, but says I "act like I'm single". I feel like I am not TA because my friend wanted to confirm as many people as possible so they could plan the get together accordingly, and I planned to go to the get together even if my GF couldn't attend, because we originally weren't going to celebrate together in the first place, keeping in mind that this isn't some "house party", its a group of ~8 guys that all know each other, and 2 of their girlfriends. She has now broken up with me for the n'th time because of this. So Reddit... AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ReasonableNerve8046 on 2023-12-31 03:17:48+00:00.

I'm a college student (19M) and stay away from home. I came home for a 1-month vacation. Yesterday, when I was leaving for college, she asked me why was I upset and I told that I don't like when she asks me to take picture of her or anyone.

Context: 3 weeks ago, my family went to holiday in a hill station with my mom's sister's family. During the whole trip, my mom asked me to take her pictures at various locations and all. I was kinda annoyed by this. I also don't like being in pictures. Also this trip took 2 weeks of my 1 month vacation. That's not a problem but during this time, me and my mom had very less time to talk or just be together. Me and my mom are very close and I share everything with her. I felt neglected during the trip coz she was just to busy. When we came back, she invited some guests to our house who stayed till yesterday. That kept her busy. Yesterday when we took the metro to the railway station, she again asked me to take pictures with the guests and that for me annoyed again. "Only time she remembers me is for the photographs!", I thought. But I said nothing. That why I enter the railway station upset.

When I told, my mom became silent and then began to cry. I was shocked by this. I didn't think she would take it so seriously. I made me fill with guilt and shame. I tried to console her but my train arrived and had to leave. She did say bye to me, and fake smiled with teary eyes, but I know I made her sad. Afterall that was her first trip so far away in like 4 years. She didn't travel because I was preparing for my college. Her friends travel here and there and put WhatsApp statuses of those, while she was at home or at work.

Also is this the right sub? Coz apart from judgement I'm also looking for what to do next to make her ok.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/PerspectiveFalse1630 on 2023-12-31 02:40:46+00:00.

me(F17) and my boyfriend(M19) have been together for more than a year. We live about 16-17 mins from each other. He works four days a week(he works 5 min from his house)and commutes 20 minutes to college four days a week. I am in high school and only work on Saturdays because I’m very busy with extracurriculars and sports. He has a couple thousand in savings and over $800 in his checking. I dont make nearly as much since I’m working one day a week. I only have about $300 in my checking and maybe only $200 in my savings. (the job i work at I started in July!)So yes I definitely don’t have as much as him. I am getting my license in a couple of months and am currently saving for a car. My boyfriend knew I didn’t have my license when we started dating. For a couple of months it was fine, but ever since summer he has really been complaining about driving. He asked for my mom to bring me to his house sometimes instead of him driving. Occasionally my mom will take me to his house to try to help but she isn’t too fond. She’s kind of old fashioned and says he should feel embarrassed to make her drive me when he clearly works and his parents sometimes help him out with money. If she says no sometimes because she’s busy, he kinda throws a fit. As of recently he’s been asking for gas money. It started with if we go on a date that’s like twenty minutes from either of our houses he would ask for money. Not usually a specific amount. At first I was like is this normal?? ( i would pay it!) I do try to pay for food and I’ve bought him clothes and our movie tickets and gifts. As of recent it’s been “I wanna go to the mall and go shopping with you, but I don’t wanna have to pick you up so can either your mom bring you or can u give me money?” It kind of affects his mood all day if he drives anywhere more than just my house without money or help. He did this on our one year anniversary date and I kind of just said like “the one day you want to ask me for gas money is today on this date?” and it was just a whole thing. We have never been anywhere farther than like an hour together.During the school year we only see each other like three days a week, two being him picking me up from my school that is 5 min from his house. But I have people telling me I shouldn’t be giving him money for “small” trips like this. It honestly makes me feel like not good sometimes because it feels like I have to pay to see him. I mean I totally get it sometimes but after the one year date thing it started to rub me the wrong way. It just feels like if he wanted to actually see me he wouldn’t ask for money or even for my mom to drive me. / throw a fit all day if he gets neither. He really wants my mom driving and him driving to be 50/50 but i do have siblings and she’s not always available! i also just remembered his car takes about 1 gallon of gas per 18 miles. what do u guys think????? (i might’ve missed little details but if u have questions please ask!) (lowkey the title is wrong but the bots were sooo picky about wording)

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/gee_es on 2023-12-31 02:31:53+00:00.

My (35m) partners (30f) friend (30f) has travelled from overseas to stay with us for X-mas/NY. this happens regularly and it is very nice when the friend is over.

we agreed to have no plans for NYs, maybe a fire pit in the back yard and stay at home.

on NYs eve, partner and friend start talking about now wanting to go to the city

i said i dont want to, but if they both go to the city then i would join and can make NYs dinner too when we get back

we wake up at maybe 8am NYs day and they both now want to go to a third venue alltogether until maybe 5 - 7pm NYs day. This venue will not be enjoyable for me whatsoever for reasons similar to taking a lactose intolerant sufferer to a ice cream parlour - it's just not going to be a good time!

i slowly came to the realisation that i'd now be alone for the first half of NYs day.

i asked my partner if she could come to the market with me to pickup the stuff we'd need for dinner that i was still going to prepare before i dropped her and her friend off to 3rd venue, but she didn't want to. so i went alone now starting to get hot under the collar.

when i was packing the food into the car, it dawned on me that my new years plan involve getting groceries to prepare our dinner, being designated driver for partner and her friend until they finished their thing and getting dinner ready.

on the way to dropping partner and friend to the 3rd venue they chose, i made my thoughts clear, admittedly in heated way and we had an arguement in the car on the way to the place.

am i the asscrack?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/StraightFaceEmoji on 2023-12-31 02:26:41+00:00.

I'm a student looking for a part time job. Today, I walked into a dollar store that I applied to online a few days ago. All the employees were busy at the cash register, so I was looking for somebody in any of the aisles that could lead me to the manager.

I found an old Mexican lady who worked at the store in one of the aisles, so I walked up to her.

Here's how our conversation went:

Me: "Excuse me, Miss. Are you the manager?"

ML: "No, I'm not the manager. What do you want?" (she wasn't rude when she said this)

Me: "I applied for a vacant position at this store online, so I wanted to follow up on that"

ML: "What? You applied? Online?"

Me: "Yes"

ML: "Come on Tuesday. The manager is not here now."

Me: "On Tuesday? Okay, thank you."

(after a few seconds)

Me: "Could I know the manager's name?" (I didn't say please but I wanted to)

ML: "Too many questions, no? Don't talk like that. If manager looks at you and hear you talk, she will be like 'This guy? NO. XXX' You should be calm and polite. Say 'Hello, how are you? My name is ___' Introduce yourself. You come in here like this and start asking questions. Nobody like that."

Me: "Sorry, see ya"

Now, I'm not the type of guy to write up a Reddit post for something so petty. As you can see, this is my first post ever. But I have been repeatedly told by various people in my life to be more polite, or that I sound rude. My aunt and my Mom in particular. I am not rude towards them, but situations like the one I described above happen all the time. My brother says that I am too straightforward most of the time and my tone is very direct. And that's true, I don't like small talk or fake appearances. I believe that this comes off as rude behavior to many people. Are people that fragile or am I the asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/1fromquote on 2023-12-31 02:24:36+00:00.

(Note: While our living situation was similar to a dorm, it was not a school dormitory.)

A few months ago, I (21F) had been living in a dorm, and my roommate Cal (19F) and I were on good terms. Due to the nature of the dorm, it was not uncommon for residents to be randomly moved around, so we were both quite glad to be put together in the same room. We were good friends, and things initially seemed to be going well for us.

Shortly into our joint residence, she confessed her romantic feelings for me. I had been in a committed (though non-monogamous) relationship, and I wasn't interested in any other partners at the time, especially younger partners and roommates, so I turned her down.

She seemed to understand, but it was difficult to provide space so those feelings could fade.

About a month later, my partner broke things off with me, and I was not doing well. Around the same time, Cal's mental health started to decline dramatically, and I tried to put off my own heartbreak to support her. Without going into too much detail, she had every reason to be in the state she was.

The problem was that I was starting to notice my own mental health waning, and it was becoming difficult to support her in the ways she needed. She began to grow incredibly attached to me, as well as a plush that is deeply special to me, to the point of borrowing the plush without asking.

I was never able to isolate and recuperate because she was always in our room.

Eventually, I decided to request to be moved rooms, as I needed the space.

Cal had always been adamant that I could talk to her about anything bothering me, but due to the weight of the situation, I did not know how to broach the topic; if it went poorly, we would be stuck in the same room until I got moved.

When I opted to tell her, and explain where I was coming from, she got upset at me and accused me of not performing any emotional labour, not being open and setting boundaries, and a variety of other things before I even had the chance to explain why I waited and why I needed space.

I don't want to sound egotistical, but I had been supporting her as best I possibly could while she was struggling, so that particular comment upset me, and I told her to "go away before I say something I regret." I could feel myself hitting my limit, and I didn't want to make things worse than they already were.

I want to be clear: I am not upset that Cal was struggling mentally. Her situation was tough, and I would likely respond in the same way if I was in her shoes. However, I needed space because it was beginning to wear on me, and I felt as though I was becoming a major support pillar where I couldn't be one.

We haven't spoken since, but the situation still wears on me.

Am I the asshole for leaving my roommate while she was struggling, in favour of my own mental health?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/hisashibaka on 2023-12-31 02:22:58+00:00.

Hello, I (30, F) had a rough day, I got a different car that my mother (64) picked up from the lot today while I was at work. She wanted to show me how to turn on and off the wipers, which to me is simple, and also wanted my dad (70) to supervise me signing the title of my previous car over. I had told her I know how to do these things and do not need help, however she was calling and texting me multiple times within a 30 minute span. I admit I was frustrated at this point, but I did tell her I love her, she is a good mom, but that I do not like how she will say "mama loves you" instead of "I love you". My mom says "I love you" is only for people you're in a relationship with, despite me saying "I love you" to her instead of "[my name] loves you". My dad also does this, and it is very uncomfortable for me to hear "Daddy loves you" and "what are those three words?" from my 70 year old father, especially when my partner is around. My mom is very upset because I said it feels impersonal and like she needs to mentally separate herself from me to say she loves me, and I said it makes me feel uncomfortable and that I am not 5 years old. She is very upset with this and wants to kick me out. I did not yell or say anything rude, and I did remind her multiple times I'm not trying to upset her but that this has been bothering me, that she is a good mom, and that I love her.Is it normal for parents to be talking in third person to their 30 year old daughter? Is there a way I can bring this up again at a later point? I know the comment about not being 5 was being an asshole, but is it wrong for me to bring this up at all? Should I just tolerate it if it is what they like to do? It's strange to me especially because my younger brother gets the "I love you" from both parents, whereas my older brother and I, who both have mental illness, get the "mama" and "daddy" loves you.AITA?

EDIT 12/31: I can't respond to comments. I do have high functioning autism and was isolated as a child. Growing up my older brother was forced to study over friends, I was forced to stay home and not leave the house unless my younger brother or one of my parents supervised me. My two brothers played together growing up but since I am a girl I was not allowed to play trucks with them and spent a lot of time alone, so my social skills are not the best. This has come up in different ways throughout the years for different things, if I do not need help with basic things and say I can do it, when I ask my mom for help for something I'm unsure about I get told "well you didnt want my help earlier so good luck".

I am not living at home, but I do rent a house from my mom. I've been working on finding a different place but I have been having difficulty keeping a job, I've been in the hospital three times in the past year for trying to end my life, and this is something I've been struggling with since I was young (first OD attempt at age 12 after years of contemplation).

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Intelligent_Flan_178 on 2023-12-31 02:08:29+00:00.

Hi, So I (28m) have a roommate (26f) and we met via an add place, she was looking for a roommate for her 4 1/2 and I was looking for a place to live with a roommate, cause I don't make enough to live on my own. She already had everything at the apartment (furniture, appliances, dishes, etc...) So everything is hers.

We agreed I'd take out the trash, she'd take out the recycling bin. We do the cats litter boxes 50/50 and we each take care of our own dishes. Now we've been having some issue. She struggles with taking out the recycles(like sometimes there's tons of cartons laying around or the bin will stay full for weeks), doing the litter boxes unless I tell her, she does her dishes every week or so and most of the time, when I want to cook something, I have to clean the dishes for it first. I'm not the best cleaning wise either, but I take out the trash every week, I take care of the litter boxes 90% of the time and I clean the bathroom every 2 months or so. I sweep the floor, not often enough, but I'm the only one doing it. And she'll do the bathroom and other things like 3-4 times a year max. And she's a slob, like you can often tell what she cooked cause parts of the packages is just laying around or pieces of it.

Money wise, we've also struggled. Everything she buys she I pay my half and to be fair, she does buy most of the things needed in the apartment, but whenever I buy things, she always had a reason as to why she shouldn't pay half of it. She buys cleaning product? I gotta pay half, I buy cleaning products? she'll say "I didn't ask you to buy this and I'll prob not use it, so I'm not paying" or she'll say "everything in the apartment is mine and you use it, so if you want me to pay this, you gotta pay me for everything that's mine" (oven fridge) even tho she had all that before we even met, so I'm not the reason she bought it.

Everytime I try to bring up the things that annoys me (like the litter boxes or recycling) she goes on a rant about everything I do or don't do, like how when I do the bathroom, it's not always up to her standard (it's true tho) or she'll find justification for not doing something, like I'm the one that filled the recycling bin by ordering shit so she doesn't want to do it right now or she was sick or something. Whenever I criticize anything she'll bury it under tons of complaints of her own (that she doesn't voice otherwise, just when I bring up something) downplay her wrongs or make my wrongs seems bigger (like me saying she doesn't clean her cat's litter box, so she spends 10 messages to talk about how I didn't empty the bathrooms trash can or didn't clean the heater of the bathroom from the dust) like mine is worse or something. When we're not in an argument, she'll admit to letter herself go, but if I bring it up, she gets super angry, swears, it feels like she's gaslighting me, she'll deflect and bury my complaints until the discussion ain't about that anymore. And it's also very belittling.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Commercial_Aside_447 on 2023-12-31 01:28:35+00:00.

So my boyfriend is a smoker and i don't shame him but I do get more annoyed when we're in the car and he smokes. I don't want it in my face so i roll the window down to compromise. In the winter when it's 30 some degrees I feel like he's being a little selfish. Tonight he started laughing at me when I put my hood on and kept saying it's not cold and I'm acting like an ahole. Iit's 34⁰ out and we're driving around windows down and i put my hood up. What??

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Far-Surprise-7695 on 2023-12-31 01:13:24+00:00.

Posting this on a throw away account!!

For some context, I (34F) and my husband (37M) have a son (6M). Quite recently, my MIL came over to our home and told me and my husband that she thinks my son is showing signs of ADHD, I was appalled at this accusation and immediately asked her to leave. For Christmas, we hosted a party at our home, inviting all sides of the family, including MIL. At the party, my MIL brought the topic up again, which I immediately shut down because I don’t believe my son could have ADHD. Later, I caught my MIL showing my son pictures that she thought would put people with ADHD in a trance. I saw this disrespectful behavior and kicked her out of my house, leading to most of the other relatives on my husband’s side to also leave with her. After the Christmas party my MIL called me the A-Hole because I wouldn’t listen to her about my son’s wellbeing, AITAH????

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/AITAaccount4achump on 2023-12-31 01:06:33+00:00.

Me and my family were playing Scrabble and I was not having a good time. My little brother took the pen we were using to keep count of the score and started scribbling on the page. I took the pen from him so he wouldn't scribble over everything. My mom instantly got angry with me, and said I was being mean to my brother. She said that from his perspective I was "his big scary angry sister who's really mean sometimes". Is it really that big of a deal that I took the pen from him? He didn't even react. I know this sounds stupid but at the time I was really upset and I might have come off as scary to him. My parents were still mad at me the whole game. AITA? Or does this need more info?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/BunnyDoe on 2023-12-31 00:56:44+00:00.

My boyfriend (27M) and I (27F) received a 2-player video game for Christmas that I’ve been saying that I’d like us to play together for a while now. I specifically asked for it as a gift from my Mother, and I chose this one because it’s a similar kind to one my boyfriend and I have enjoyed playing together in the past. It was a fun small gift, but one that meant a lot to me as a couple’s activity. I’ve been saying I wanted us to play this together for months, and we were both really pleased that we received it as a gift.

We’ve been staying with his family since Christmas Eve, without our games console, so haven’t been able to play it yet. We’re going home for New Year’s, and my plan was that our NYE activity would be to play this game as we have no plans to go out, especially as we’ve had no quality time alone over the festive period.

Tonight, he went to hang out with a friend who still lives in his hometown. I stayed in with his parents. When he got home, I asked if he had fun and what he got up to, and he told me that his friend had just got the game, so they played that.

I’m really angry, and told him that he’s just robbed me of the joy of getting to play this together for the first time now that he’s played it with his friend. To me, it feels like he opened OUR present with his friend, and because he’s already played it, it’ll no longer be a special couple’s experience. It’s also not like this is the only thing he could have done with his friend, the friend has loads of games and would have understood if BF has said “actually, I want to save that to play with my GF because we received this for Christmas as a joint gift”. He thinks that because he’s only played the first few levels and it’s just a small game, I’m overreacting, even when I told him it’s much more than that to me - he spends a lot of time playing games with his friends which I’m glad that he enjoys, but it often gets in the way of us spending quality time together. This game that I wanted to play as a couple, when I don’t play many games, was my way of finding something for us to do together that we’d both enjoy. I feel like he totally didn’t consider me.

So, AITA for telling me him shouldn’t have played this game without me?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/BunnyDoe on 2023-12-31 00:56:44+00:00.

My boyfriend (27M) and I (27F) received a 2-player video game for Christmas that I’ve been saying that I’d like us to play together for a while now. I specifically asked for it as a gift from my Mother, and I chose this one because it’s a similar kind to one my boyfriend and I have enjoyed playing together in the past. It was a fun small gift, but one that meant a lot to me as a couple’s activity. I’ve been saying I wanted us to play this together for months, and we were both really pleased that we received it as a gift.

We’ve been staying with his family since Christmas Eve, without our games console, so haven’t been able to play it yet. We’re going home for New Year’s, and my plan was that our NYE activity would be to play this game as we have no plans to go out, especially as we’ve had no quality time alone over the festive period.

Tonight, he went to hang out with a friend who still lives in his hometown. I stayed in with his parents. When he got home, I asked if he had fun and what he got up to, and he told me that his friend had just got the game, so they played that.

I’m really angry, and told him that he’s just robbed me of the joy of getting to play this together for the first time now that he’s played it with his friend. To me, it feels like he opened OUR present with his friend, and because he’s already played it, it’ll no longer be a special couple’s experience. It’s also not like this is the only thing he could have done with his friend, the friend has loads of games and would have understood if BF has said “actually, I want to save that to play with my GF because we received this for Christmas as a joint gift”. He thinks that because he’s only played the first few levels and it’s just a small game, I’m overreacting, even when I told him it’s much more than that to me - he spends a lot of time playing games with his friends which I’m glad that he enjoys, but it often gets in the way of us spending quality time together. This game that I wanted to play as a couple, when I don’t play many games, was my way of finding something for us to do together that we’d both enjoy. I feel like he totally didn’t consider me.

So, AITA for telling me him shouldn’t have played this game without me?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/SameBase9575 on 2023-12-31 00:44:33+00:00.

I (23M) love to sing. I’m not American Idol good but I’m a considered a ringer at karaoke night by my friends.

I was a groomsman for my best friend “Travis” (23M) wedding to “Taylor” (23F). Taylor has been the exact opposite of a bridezilla. The only non negotiable thing she had was that she did not want a track playing when she walked down the aisle, and wanted a live band. A reasonable request. They had Enchanted by Taylor Swift as their walk down song, as it was the song he proposed to her during one of our karaoke nights.

Well day of the wedding comes, and the lead singer of the band ends up passing out during rehearsal. She had to leave to go to the hospital. As Travis couldn’t see her, I had to go inform Taylor through a bridesmaid. Bridesmaid comes back and states that while Taylor was Empathetic and she understood, she was still adamant about no tracks. She asked if I was willing to sing in place, but I told her that my voice wouldn’t fit the song she wanted. Bridesmaids asked me to do whatever I needed to do and try to make something work

I spoke with the band, and I asked if they were able to learn “True” by Ryan Cabrera, a relatively simple song with an hours notice, and a song I know my voice can handle. They were willing to and after a quick readjustment rehearsal with those actually walking down the aisle, minus Taylor, wedding happened. I perform the song, and although somewhat confused, Taylor seemed very happy. I then take place in my position as a groomsman.

At the photos portion, Taylor came up to me and jumped me with a hug, thanking me for stepping in. She asked why I changed the song but after a brief explanation of how my voice wouldn’t have worked, she understood, and said she was happy I chose that song.

Travis, on the other hand, was not very talkative to me. After the reception and following days, he ghosted me. After finally having enough I went over to his place to talk this out. This is where all went loose.

He was very upset with me for changing the song, knowing it was Taylor’s favorite song and I couldn’t have sucked it up for literally 5 minutes. I defended by stating the following: 1. I was following Taylor’s ONE request for no track music. 2. My voice would have made any of the video footage taken ruined because the song didn’t fit my voice. 3. I chose another song that I KNOW he and Taylor loved and that I could actually sing. He basically removed all that by stating that I should have done what was requested in the first place. As soon as I mentioned how Taylor didn’t mind, he kicked me out.

Several people are divided. Our friend group, aka the groomsmen, are taking Travis’ side and stating how I’m the jerk. The bridemaids, Taylor’s friends, are defending me for choosing a song that I could sing and was still wedding appropriate. Taylor has remained silent about this, as she is Travis’ wife, but know I did what I could.

I genuinely don’t know what to make of everything. AITA??

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/SameBase9575 on 2023-12-31 00:44:33+00:00.

I (23M) love to sing. I’m not American Idol good but I’m a considered a ringer at karaoke night by my friends.

I was a groomsman for my best friend “Travis” (23M) wedding to “Taylor” (23F). Taylor has been the exact opposite of a bridezilla. The only non negotiable thing she had was that she did not want a track playing when she walked down the aisle, and wanted a live band. A reasonable request. They had Enchanted by Taylor Swift as their walk down song, as it was the song he proposed to her during one of our karaoke nights.

Well day of the wedding comes, and the lead singer of the band ends up passing out during rehearsal. She had to leave to go to the hospital. As Travis couldn’t see her, I had to go inform Taylor through a bridesmaid. Bridesmaid comes back and states that while Taylor was Empathetic and she understood, she was still adamant about no tracks. She asked if I was willing to sing in place, but I told her that my voice wouldn’t fit the song she wanted. Bridesmaids asked me to do whatever I needed to do and try to make something work

I spoke with the band, and I asked if they were able to learn “True” by Ryan Cabrera, a relatively simple song with an hours notice, and a song I know my voice can handle. They were willing to and after a quick readjustment rehearsal with those actually walking down the aisle, minus Taylor, wedding happened. I perform the song, and although somewhat confused, Taylor seemed very happy. I then take place in my position as a groomsman.

At the photos portion, Taylor came up to me and jumped me with a hug, thanking me for stepping in. She asked why I changed the song but after a brief explanation of how my voice wouldn’t have worked, she understood, and said she was happy I chose that song.

Travis, on the other hand, was not very talkative to me. After the reception and following days, he ghosted me. After finally having enough I went over to his place to talk this out. This is where all went loose.

He was very upset with me for changing the song, knowing it was Taylor’s favorite song and I couldn’t have sucked it up for literally 5 minutes. I defended by stating the following: 1. I was following Taylor’s ONE request for no track music. 2. My voice would have made any of the video footage taken ruined because the song didn’t fit my voice. 3. I chose another song that I KNOW he and Taylor loved and that I could actually sing. He basically removed all that by stating that I should have done what was requested in the first place. As soon as I mentioned how Taylor didn’t mind, he kicked me out.

Several people are divided. Our friend group, aka the groomsmen, are taking Travis’ side and stating how I’m the jerk. The bridemaids, Taylor’s friends, are defending me for choosing a song that I could sing and was still wedding appropriate. Taylor has remained silent about this, as she is Travis’ wife, but know I did what I could.

I genuinely don’t know what to make of everything. AITA??

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Notthat_dumb-blonde1 on 2023-12-31 00:16:39+00:00.

I, (23f) am refusing to meet my bfs (23m) family. My bf and I took a 14 hour trip so he could visit with some of his family and I could see where he grew up. My boyfriend’s 3 sisters absolutely hate me. They hate me because he used to be married and he left his wife to be with me. He got married at 19.

I didn’t want to be with him at first. I told him that he needs to be with his wife and I am not ok with ending a marriage. He ended things with her anyway and it took me awhile to actually accept and be with him. He had been with his wife since middle school, they are from a small, small town and their families were extremely close. He got with her because she was/is best friends with one of his sisters and he’s the only girl he’s ever dated. He’s said he didn’t know what love was until he met me, him and his wife never even had sex either. None of that matters but putting it here for more context.

We have been together for almost a year now and the sisters still won’t accept the fact. His mom is on the “whatever makes you happy” side but his sisters will not accept me at all. Having my partners family accept me is a really big deal. I don’t know what to do. He asked them if it’s alright if I come down for the holidays and his older sister sent him a huge paragraph about it, the one who’s best friends with the ex didn’t say anything, and the younger said it was ok along with his mom. I don’t know what to do.

Yes I do know that it’s a terrible thing that he was married but I really did not want him to end things with her. I’ve talked to her before and told her everything I told him about not wanting to be with him and how terrible I felt and how I’m not a woman who goes around sleeping with married men, that’s not me at all. I used to get 5+ hate messages a day from random accounts calling me a home wrecker, whore, slut, and many more things and just about how terrible I am. I’m not the person they think I am.

His oldest sister is also friends with one of my friends sisters and told her she does not want me coming, I’m not wanted here, it’s disrespectful and she doesn’t care to meet me. So now I am refusing to go to lunch with all of them until his older sister apologizes or something. My bf is telling me to put it aside but I physically can not go feeling this way. I hate being in awkward situations and who likes being around people when they don’t feel welcome? I told him I would meet his mom and little sister but not the other two. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Notthat_dumb-blonde1 on 2023-12-31 00:16:39+00:00.

I, (23f) am refusing to meet my bfs (23m) family. My bf and I took a 14 hour trip so he could visit with some of his family and I could see where he grew up. My boyfriend’s 3 sisters absolutely hate me. They hate me because he used to be married and he left his wife to be with me. He got married at 19.

I didn’t want to be with him at first. I told him that he needs to be with his wife and I am not ok with ending a marriage. He ended things with her anyway and it took me awhile to actually accept and be with him. He had been with his wife since middle school, they are from a small, small town and their families were extremely close. He got with her because she was/is best friends with one of his sisters and he’s the only girl he’s ever dated. He’s said he didn’t know what love was until he met me, him and his wife never even had sex either. None of that matters but putting it here for more context.

We have been together for almost a year now and the sisters still won’t accept the fact. His mom is on the “whatever makes you happy” side but his sisters will not accept me at all. Having my partners family accept me is a really big deal. I don’t know what to do. He asked them if it’s alright if I come down for the holidays and his older sister sent him a huge paragraph about it, the one who’s best friends with the ex didn’t say anything, and the younger said it was ok along with his mom. I don’t know what to do.

Yes I do know that it’s a terrible thing that he was married but I really did not want him to end things with her. I’ve talked to her before and told her everything I told him about not wanting to be with him and how terrible I felt and how I’m not a woman who goes around sleeping with married men, that’s not me at all. I used to get 5+ hate messages a day from random accounts calling me a home wrecker, whore, slut, and many more things and just about how terrible I am. I’m not the person they think I am.

His oldest sister is also friends with one of my friends sisters and told her she does not want me coming, I’m not wanted here, it’s disrespectful and she doesn’t care to meet me. So now I am refusing to go to lunch with all of them until his older sister apologizes or something. My bf is telling me to put it aside but I physically can not go feeling this way. I hate being in awkward situations and who likes being around people when they don’t feel welcome? I told him I would meet his mom and little sister but not the other two. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/blackdragontiara on 2023-12-31 00:12:32+00:00.

I 31 female and husband 33 male have 5 children aged 11, 10, 8 and twins 7, all in school. I work 12+hours a day 4 days a week. My husband is a stay at home dad, has not had a job since my twins were 1. Recently I have been coming home frustrated because my husband just starts playing video games and continues all night, I tell him since he is home he need to be making meals for the kids that include vegetables not just pizza nuggets ect, he still only does it once in a while. I have also been coming home to constant dirty dishes, and laundry, the laundry is mostly washed but stuffed in Laundry baskets constantly ( there are currently 4 full baskets) and it stays that way unless I do it or tell him he needs to and he usually doesn’t finish it all. The bathrooms are never cleaned properly there is green stuff that starts to stick in the toilet bowl so I will have to clean it thoroughly. Today we got in a fight because he yet again stayed up playing games all night after I got home from work, I went to bed around 10 because I get tired after being on my feet all day for 12+ hours. I woke up around 9:30 am, my husband was still sleeping. All my kids were already awake I fed them some breakfast but there wasn’t much in the fridge. I waited for my husband to wake up to ask him if he can go grocery shopping, by 12:30ish I asked him if he could go, he didn’t get up. He didn’t wake up until nearly 4 that afternoon. I was furious I am always coming home to no toilet paper, food, ect and have to go get it myself, while he has more than enough time all day while I’m at work and the kids are in school. I yelled at him and told him he should already have food in the house and that he doesn’t do anything all day. I was just so frustrated that it’s a constant thing and I would understand if the kids were home all day with him, but they are not they are at school till 3:30 every day, and he still acts like he does everything and has no time in his day to get to the things I mention. So aitah for telling him he does nothing? Update My husband does clean the house just seems to struggle with the specific things I mentioned above and cook , but needs to include veggies more often in my opinion. He also takes my children to all their sports ect. He cooks for me on my days off usually as well but does have days when does the gaming all night sleeping all day. I just work a lot and am exhausted some days and want to know if I’m taking it out on him.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/blackdragontiara on 2023-12-31 00:12:32+00:00.

I 31 female and husband 33 male have 5 children aged 11, 10, 8 and twins 7, all in school. I work 12+hours a day 4 days a week. My husband is a stay at home dad, has not had a job since my twins were 1. Recently I have been coming home frustrated because my husband just starts playing video games and continues all night, I tell him since he is home he need to be making meals for the kids that include vegetables not just pizza nuggets ect, he still only does it once in a while. I have also been coming home to constant dirty dishes, and laundry, the laundry is mostly washed but stuffed in Laundry baskets constantly ( there are currently 4 full baskets) and it stays that way unless I do it or tell him he needs to and he usually doesn’t finish it all. The bathrooms are never cleaned properly there is green stuff that starts to stick in the toilet bowl so I will have to clean it thoroughly. Today we got in a fight because he yet again stayed up playing games all night after I got home from work, I went to bed around 10 because I get tired after being on my feet all day for 12+ hours. I woke up around 9:30 am, my husband was still sleeping. All my kids were already awake I fed them some breakfast but there wasn’t much in the fridge. I waited for my husband to wake up to ask him if he can go grocery shopping, by 12:30ish I asked him if he could go, he didn’t get up. He didn’t wake up until nearly 4 that afternoon. I was furious I am always coming home to no toilet paper, food, ect and have to go get it myself, while he has more than enough time all day while I’m at work and the kids are in school. I yelled at him and told him he should already have food in the house and that he doesn’t do anything all day. I was just so frustrated that it’s a constant thing and I would understand if the kids were home all day with him, but they are not they are at school till 3:30 every day, and he still acts like he does everything and has no time in his day to get to the things I mention. So aitah for telling him he does nothing? Update My husband does clean the house just seems to struggle with the specific things I mentioned above and cook , but needs to include veggies more often in my opinion. He also takes my children to all their sports ect. He cooks for me on my days off usually as well but does have days when does the gaming all night sleeping all day. I just work a lot and am exhausted some days and want to know if I’m taking it out on him.