Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/DragonInBoots on 2023-12-30 23:17:37+00:00.

A little premise: me (29F) and my sister (26) still live with our parents in a two-storey house that used to be a duplex. On the upper floor there are the bedrooms and a bathroom, on the lower one there are the kitchen, the dining and living room, another bathroom and our parents' wardrobe.

Now, I don't like celebrating New Year, largely because I'm an autistic introvert and Christmas celebrations leave me drained. Every member of my family knows this, my friends know this, even my coworkers know this, so everyone knows better than to try and invite me for anything. So I just spend New Year quietly on my own and keeping an eye on my family's dog - he's scared of fireworks and needs someone to reassure him.

That is still the plan this year, but yesterday my sister started complaining about it to me: since our parents decided to go to our uncle's lakehouse for the celebrations, our own house is free, so she invited her boyfriend over. And she wants me to leave too.

As I said, our house has two floors, so I offered to simply mind my own business on one while she and her boyfriend take the other. I'm even willing to sleep on the couch in the living room for the sake of leaving them alone. But she still complains that I'm leaving her with no privacy and that she can't stay alone with her boyfriend at his house because he too still lives with his family.

I think I've been pretty reasonable and I think she hasn't given me one single good reason why she needs the whole house for herself and her boyfriend. Our parents too got dragged in this discussion and they're both on my side, but I do find myself wondering if my sister doesn't have some reasons: after all, I would still be in the house and I guess she may feel guilty about basically ignoring me for the evening? Or her boyfriend - a really sweet guy - could possibly try to involve me in the celebrations and she fears that would ruin their evening.

Anyway, the point is: will I be the asshole if I don't vacate our house for my sister and her boyfriend on New Year?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/DragonInBoots on 2023-12-30 23:17:37+00:00.

A little premise: me (29F) and my sister (26) still live with our parents in a two-storey house that used to be a duplex. On the upper floor there are the bedrooms and a bathroom, on the lower one there are the kitchen, the dining and living room, another bathroom and our parents' wardrobe.

Now, I don't like celebrating New Year, largely because I'm an autistic introvert and Christmas celebrations leave me drained. Every member of my family knows this, my friends know this, even my coworkers know this, so everyone knows better than to try and invite me for anything. So I just spend New Year quietly on my own and keeping an eye on my family's dog - he's scared of fireworks and needs someone to reassure him.

That is still the plan this year, but yesterday my sister started complaining about it to me: since our parents decided to go to our uncle's lakehouse for the celebrations, our own house is free, so she invited her boyfriend over. And she wants me to leave too.

As I said, our house has two floors, so I offered to simply mind my own business on one while she and her boyfriend take the other. I'm even willing to sleep on the couch in the living room for the sake of leaving them alone. But she still complains that I'm leaving her with no privacy and that she can't stay alone with her boyfriend at his house because he too still lives with his family.

I think I've been pretty reasonable and I think she hasn't given me one single good reason why she needs the whole house for herself and her boyfriend. Our parents too got dragged in this discussion and they're both on my side, but I do find myself wondering if my sister doesn't have some reasons: after all, I would still be in the house and I guess she may feel guilty about basically ignoring me for the evening? Or her boyfriend - a really sweet guy - could possibly try to involve me in the celebrations and she fears that would ruin their evening.

Anyway, the point is: will I be the asshole if I don't vacate our house for my sister and her boyfriend on New Year?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/hastybet on 2023-12-31 02:50:09+00:00.

My brother, older by 11 years, did a lot for me when I was younger and still living with our parents. With him so much older than me, it often felt like he was a second dad to me. Not only did he give advice and guidance, but he also paid for things out of his own pocket; took me on road trips, paid for movies/restaurants, let me borrow his car, etc. Even when I was a young adult after high school, he let me stay in his apartment, rent free for a month, before I got my first job. Not only that, he bought me a suit for my first job interview. All this was really great and I'm very fortunate to have a brother that looked out for me. He has been looking out for me for as long as I can remember.

However, also for as long as I can remember, he has told me “You'll pay me back one day." The first time I remember him saying this I was 5 years old and he was 16 years old. Every time he would do something nice for me, he told me “You'll pay me back one day." Being told this since a very young age, I automatically believed it was true and agreed that I would pay him back. Even into my early 20's, I felt that I really owed him and that I needed to pay him back at some point. I did do nice things for him when I had the opportunity, but not nearly to the scale that he did for me. Being so much younger, I just couldn’t do as much for him as he did for me.

Fast-forward to today, I'm 32 years old and a dad. When I do nice things for my kid, I can't imagine saying "You'll pay me back one day." In fact, I think that anyone that would try to instill a feeling of monetary debt in a young child is a total asshole. A young child doesn't have the mental capacity to understand what this means or the ability to consent to debt.

I have a small business and my brother recently told me that, because he helped me so much while I was growing up, he should be given 20% of the revenue in perpetuity. I was shocked. I refused to pay him he was extremely upset.

I've sense decided that I don't owe him any money and that he may have been psychologically manipulating me since I was a young child.

Am I the asshole for refusing to give money to my brother?

Is my brother the asshole for expecting money from me?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Icy-Juicy-Slushy on 2023-12-31 02:27:55+00:00.

I (30f) am an aunt to 2 nieces (10) and 2 nephews (11 and 8) as well as one step niece (16f). Their parents are doing OK financially though not comfortable. I am much better off money wise.

I’m one of those people who don’t know what to give people during Christmas and don’t have enough energy to figure out or guess. For years I gave friends and family gift cards to places I know they frequent like favorite coffee shops or bookstores. For nieces and nephews, I gave cash. I always thought their parents let them buy things they wanted but my bio nieces and nephews recently complained to me how their parents took my cash gifts and put the amount in each kid’s saving account. They said they wanted to be able to buy stuff like their oldest sister. My step niece also received cash gift from me but her mom let her spend the money.

So for this year I gave each a box of chocolate at the Christmas gathering and told them I would also take them to the mall as part of my Christmas presents. I took all five out yesterday and gave them $50 each with the oldest getting $70 and told them to buy what they like. I asked the oldest to take the youngest to look around while I asked the middle three where in the mall they would like to go and took them. At the end of the day everyone got candies and toys and books and clothes. I fed everyone at the food court and dropped them off at my parents because their parents were meeting some friends.

Later that night my sister called to yell at me. She said it was completely inappropriate of me to let her kids spend money freely like that. She said she put the money in the bank for them to teach them to be frugal while I just encouraged them to spend outside of their means. She said once her kids reach their teens like her stepdaughter she would allow them to use the money, too, but right now they’re too young and I am spoiling them.

I think spending money on what you like is part of the Christmas experience. It’s just sad to have to be frugal even during the holidays. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/TopHelp7899 on 2023-12-30 22:56:41+00:00.

I (14F) haven't been to school since I was 7 and my mom has been homeschooling me. My mom always wanted to homeschool me because she schools are unsafe and that they teach bad stuff but my dad didn't let her. When my dad died my mom said it was a sign from god to homeschool me. My mom doesn't teach me science because she said it's a lie and she doesn't teach me maths or English much either because I will get better opportunities in life with god by my side than I would with education.

I asked my mom if I could go to school because I want to learn and I want to go outside and meet people (I'm not allowed to go outside much) my mom got really upset and accused me of not being grateful of everything she has done for me and everything she has taught me. I told her that that wasn't true and I am really grateful but I just wanna go to school. She started crying and then she grounded me for a month.

I feel really bad for suggesting it I just thought it'd be cool but my mom is just trying to keep me safe by not letting me go I guess. I don't want to make god angry either because my mom told me that if I go to school I'll go to hell and asking to go is a sin. I didn't mean to upset her and I didn't mean to sin either

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Aiju_F on 2023-12-30 18:27:41+00:00.

So my husband and I got engaged and our family was so excited. Fast track to two months before the wedding. Most of our family lived very far from us but all of them made a rsvp to our surprise. But my own mother had not. I called her to ask why and if its a financial issue I would of course pay for her to come because I want her there. But she just said she couldnt accept any charity. So i left it be. Fast track to the day before the wedding, I am at the venue making sure everything is fine and sorted but I get a call from my aunt telling me I should make space for one more person because she just found out my mother intended to surprise me at the wedding and show up anyway. I was so angry because the caterers were already paid for every seat and everything was already done. But I let it be because atleast everyone will be there. Come the day of the wedding my mother shows up to the wedding high on anxiety pills. And I mean high, even my grandmother recognized it. I was so angry that when she came to me asking when is it her time to make a speech I said I will not let her speech. Its been over two years after the wedding and my mother is still hurt about me not letting her to make the speech. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Few_Sort_4696 on 2023-12-30 15:56:07+00:00.

This is more of a. Lightheaded AITA., but my son (15) thinks I am for beating him at Pokemon in front of his friends

I have been playing Pokemon on and off since the beginning. We have Scarlett and Violet and I decided to finally play the DLC. I beat the main game awhile back.

I don't pick Pokemon because they are good I pick them because I like them, I like their design or they're cute or whatever.

I have

Boyfriend....(Entei) I traded a Regileki with my son at some point, because Entei wouldn't show up in the caves in sword and shield on my game and he's my favorite Pokemon ever.

Mouse Mafia (mousehold).. I love these mice

ToucanCanon (Toucanon)...... Who doesn't love a fruit loop bird? He recently replaced Fuzzy Lumpkins (the big moth dude from area zero)

Po-key (Abamasnow,) I had her sword and shield. This dude is always going down but I like the tree Iceman.

CastleFace (bastidon).... I love this big oaf he is so goofy looking.....He recently replaced Prince Harry (the big grass/dark snail guy)

Dratatin ....(Appletun) I took it from my son while playing sword and shield, because I had sword and couldn't get him this guy is my absolute favorite I loved him since the moment I saw him and I will not take him off my team.

My son tels me my team and moves suck and I need a more balanced team and I need to ev/IV train them. I just laugh.

Well the other day he had a bunch of friends over who he convinced me to battle. I beat 4/7 of them and took my son's team down but only because my mice decided to crit on their last hit (they were at 1 HP).

His friends were teasing him that his mom didn't suck as bad as he said I did. My son got annoyed, and told me my team still sucks and that I got lucky (yeah honestly I did). Now he's annoyed that I embarrassed him in front of his friends

So AITA for accepting my son's challenge and beating him and his friends at Pokemon battle?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/throwaway83251 on 2023-12-31 04:51:55+00:00.

For context, my partner and I are in our early twenties and have been together for a year. Still learning how to do it right. Also, they have been on internships with prestigious companies and had a lot of fun w/ their coworkers during those times. In their most recent internship I went to visit them because I missed them & because they really wanted me to meet their coworkers. It was a lot of fun for me too. The actual situation at hand now is that their coworkers planned a small 5 day trip which spans over new years. My partner did not invite me. They deliberately told me I could not come. I did not ask to come, but this did hurt my feelings. When I asked why, they only said that they wanted to go alone and that they felt they couldn’t socialize as well when I was around… and that they did not want to be awkward for being the only person bringing their significant other.

They did not give any indication of these feelings when I visited them during their actual internship, so I am especially confused why this is the case for a small trip that is less serious. The only reason I decided to be okay with the decision was because they insisted nobody else was bringing their significant other. They informed me that mostly guys are going on this trip, but that there will be a few women. Today I overheard on a phone call that one of their friends was expecting me and said it was unfortunate that I wouldn’t be going. Am I not respecting their independence?

Edit: I wanted to clarify that when I visited them during their internship I was the only significant other who visited, but nobody thought extra of it. Also, when I overheard on the phone call that at least one person was expecting me, it made me extra upset that the only reason I wasn’t there was b/c my partner said so.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/StarBudderfly on 2023-12-31 04:45:50+00:00.

Let me get this clear, I didn’t steal her KPop albums, I simply just borrowed them before she got them.

A few days ago I was just like usual at my house. I woke up a bit late like at 12 P.M. I got a notification on my phone about my RING camera. I checked it and a pacakged had been delivered. I hadn’t ordered anything in a while so I wasn’t sure what it was. I went downstairs and I got the package and it was a box with the word WEVERSE scattered all over it. When I checked the address it seemed to be right. I, of course, have no idea what a WEVERSE is so I opened it up. I found 3 KPop albums inside. It had a cover of what I guess to be a sun, flames and the word “HEAT”. I opened up the album because it looked cool. It has a bunch of little cardboard posters? I don’t know what to call them. It had a CD, a photo, and now that I searched it up I know they’re called photocards.

Fast-forward to yesterday. My friend came over, I hadn’t told her about my little surprise package. First thing she asked me was “Have you gotten any packages?” What a strange question. I answered no. I wanted to see where this would go. She got all nervous and she honestly looked like she was about to start crying. She told me that she had ordered some stuff and had it all sent to MY house. I blew up. What right did SHE have sending stuff to MY house. I was yelling at her about it. She of course said “So you got the mail?! Why didn’t you tell me?!” Was it MY responsibility to take care of HER package that she hadn’t been keeping track off. I wouldn’t have mind if she told me about it beforehand. I know that where she lives it’s very busy and there are many thieves around. But to just not tell me about this. For all I know there could’ve been a bomb in there.

She told me I was bein illogical and that I was the thief for taking her package. She then proceeded to SEARCH my WHOLE house just to find the KPop albums. Once she found them she yelled at me some more and then stormed out and left. I mean, I see why she’s mad. In her eyes I basically just stole something that belonged to her. I just don’t think she had to wait to tell me. After, she texted me saying that she was gonna contact a lawyer and sue me for “stealing” a package that was on my doorstep. She said that if I just dropped it then it wouldn’t be as bad. She also told me that if I just told her that I got her package. Problem is, it didn’t have her name on it. She’s stopped messaging me at all. I don’t think I’m overreacting, in fact I think she is. So am I the asshole here?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/BananyaSpook on 2023-12-31 04:41:43+00:00.

I (20ftm) came out to my family in November. To say they didn't take it well would be an understatement.

I ended up moving into my then fiance (21m) now husband's apartment since they stopped paying for my college, then one time I went to see my mum (48f) and she brought me back to my parents house and my dad (43m) held me against my will for days and tried to get me committed. All because I'm trans.

Now on to the actual issue. My grandparents (70m, 69f) are hosting Christmas on the 31st (the closest time my whole family could meet) and I don't feel like going. My whole family refers to me being trans as "the situation" and basically either ignore it or call me crying that I'm "killing her daughter" (thanks mum). I told my grandad I wouldn't be coming to Christmas and now have been bombarded by him saying I'm selfish and it's been days of this. I'm starting to believe him but at the same time seeing my family has become super stressful and I don't think I deserve to suffer like that just cuz I'm trans. Anyway what do you think.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Several_Beyond_883 on 2023-12-31 04:40:23+00:00.

 I (32) M and my gf (38)F have been dating for almost a year. She has 2 kids. 1 (12 yr) M + 1 (8yr) F. I work full time (welder) n make less money on occasion because she rents a salon and work is not as consistent. 

Just trying to paint the picture. I'm sitting here about to sleep on the couch because her son was gifted the newest X-box and she decided hid old one could could come to the living room. 

Since we have been together I've never played video games infront of her (occasionally mobile).

She worked a couple hours today and I decided to play for a hour or so. Quickly greeted her when she got home and soon turned it off to watch t.v and talk.

Tonight when she started snoring on my lap(11:00 ish) I asked if she minded if I played X-box. Her mood changed very quick n words where said.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/sparkle1502 on 2023-12-31 04:40:18+00:00.

So I 21F and my mum 54F don’t really have a great relationship.

I am currently in university and I live away from home. My mum calls me and asks if she could wear an outfit of mine to some work party I think. I was like which one? She was describing this dress that I have only wore once and it’s so pretty and one of my faves. I’ve been wanting to wear it again but an occasion hasn’t occurred. I say no you cannot wear it. She says please and that everyone will be wearing something really nice. I was firm on the no and told her if she wants to wear something nice then go buy something. She’s like but I don’t usually wear these outfits. I said that’s not my problem and DO NOT wear it.

About a week or two later, I come home for Christmas and at first I forgot about the whole thing. I open my cupboard and see my layout of clothes is a little different. Btw I have a thing about people touching and moving stuff around while I’m not there. Like it feels like spiders are crawling all over my body or something idk how to explain it. Anyways, then I saw some glitter from my dress on my bed. I went down to confront her and she completely denied it. I asked 3 times and she still lied so I gave up and went to bed.

Next day after she comes home from work I don’t try to make any conversation. She asks what’s wrong so I tell her “you wore my dress” and just stare at her. She gives in and says my dad said she can wear it. I repeated that I said no and that she lied right to my face. She didn’t exactly apologise, like she said sorry once in an insincere way. She keeps trying to talk to me normally and I ignore her. She then starts talking loudly to my dad in the other room “oh (dad’s name) what am I going to do? What can I possibly do to fix this? I didn’t commit some huge crime” Then she asks are you not going to talk to me and I said up don’t really feel like talking to you right now. Then she asks “oh so you’re never going to talk to me in your life ever again?” I sigh and leave the room. My parents keep talking like it’s no big deal and get over it, and that my dad said she can wear it. So AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/blueberry7682 on 2023-12-31 04:37:35+00:00.

So for Christmas I decided to buy my (21F) girlfriend (21F) the Kindle she’s been talking about for several months. This was a relatively big purchase for me, as my family normally hand-makes gifts and cards or focuses on smaller, more personal items for holidays and birthdays. My girlfriend’s family is the opposite, and appreciates more expensive gifts, and she has gotten me very nice things in the past. Because of this, I decided to spend a bit more than I normally would to buy her the Kindle she’s been mentioning.

It came a few days ago, and when I received it, curiosity and excitement got the better of me, and I took the package out of the Amazon box it came in. I broke the seal of the box the device came in and pulled the Kindle out, still in its plastic wrap. I looked at it to make sure it was what I ordered and almost unwrapped it, but eventually decided to stop messing with her gift and put everything back the best I could.

I ended up mentioning to my girlfriend that I had bought her a Kindle a few days before I was planning to give it to her (this is the nature of our relationship; normally I’d try to keep it a surprise), and she asked if I had opened the box. I told her yes, I had opened the Amazon box and the box it came in, but left the actual gift in its plastic wrap. She got angry with me and told me I might as well return it because I had essentially opened her gift for her. I asked her to confirm that she wanted me to return the expensive gift I got her because I had messed with the packaging, and she said yes; in her family everything was left exactly how it was before it was opened by the recipient. I told her I wouldn’t mind or notice if someone opened the packaging for me because the gift itself is what matters, and she told me I wasn’t listening to her side, and that I should return it or give it to my sister who is an avid reader. So, AITA for opening the package to look at the device before wrapping it?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/fcreveralways on 2023-12-31 04:28:32+00:00.

my (F23) mom (F44) and two sisters (F20 and F16) were hanging out and playing a board game. My mom offers me a a hit of her joint, and as i’m taking it, a piece of ash falls on my older sisters blanket and burns a small hole. Immediately, she freaks out because she just got the blanket for christmas. I immediately apologize and purchase her a new blanket online. She is still upset about it and I let her know again that I’m sorry and the new blanket will arrive at her place in two days.

She is still reasonably upset, so the mood changes and we no longer play the game. My mom stands up and tells my sister that her terrible attitude is ruining the night and she doesn’t understand why she would be upset over something so trivial. My mom has been through a lot of trauma in her lifetime and is actively recovering from PTSD, so she is easily triggered but working to learn coping strategies and has come a long way.

My sister then says that if she is ruining the night she will just leave and she leaves. My mom keeps going on about how she doesn’t understand how she could be so upset about something minor when there are terrible things happening to her and others. I calmly explain that I understand but my sister still has the right to be upset because she just got this gift and I damaged it. My mom repeats that much more terrible things have happened to her so my sister has no right to be upset and begins to cry, going to her room and refusing to talk to us. My younger sister said she understands both sides, but I think my mom is being immature. I understand she has had a hard life, but I don’t think it means my sister doesn’t have a right to be upset. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/WalkoffTriple on 2023-12-31 04:28:11+00:00.

In our household, we don't really exchange gifts. Occasionally week get things for each other if we are something that would make someone happy, but we don't exchange presents for birthdays or Christmas because it just causes stress and clutter. We're adults; if we want or need something we buy it.

So far so good, but now we're going to be having a baby.

Obviously, the child will get Christmas and birthday presents. That's a big deal for kids and we have no intention of giving him enough pocket money that he could just buy stuff for himself.

Several family members all every year what we got each other for Christmas and are always disappointed that the answer is nothing, but this year it caused an actual argument that is continuing via texts for a week now. They think that if the kid gets presents for birthday and Christmas but doesn't see his parents exchanging gifts he'll grow up spoilt and self-centred.

I think this is silly. He'll see other kids getting presents, he'll see his cousins getting them, he'll even see us getting two each year at the family secret Santas. But they're insistent.

We could afford presents, we're just agreed on hating the stress of finding them and the clutter that results from a house full of things your can't throw away because they were gifts.

Are we the assholes for not exchanging presents even as parents?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Electrical_Fun4354 on 2023-12-31 04:23:53+00:00.

To preface, I'm not the best at making friends. I have to try harder than others. With friends online you have to make even more of an effort to be someone's friend.

I used to be friends with the girl online, we met in a Discord server and became friends. Things were going great until suddenly she would just get mad out of nowhere at me. Things could be going good then I'd ask if she wanted to play something online. I didn't do it often, maybe once or twice a week. Most of the time she'd say no, rarely she said yes. But more and more often she would explode on me, saying how I thought I was entitled to her free time.

I would ask about her hobbies (some of which we shared), and her opinions on them. But she never asked about any of mine. I'd ask how her day was/how she was doing. She always said that she was fine. She never asked me those back. In fact she never initiated any conversation with me unless it was to show me anything she was working on. The answer was always fine. And then something would inevitably set her off. Another mutual friend of ours always said that it was my fault that she got mad at me.

It all culminated when I asked if she'd yet to do something that I'd asked her do something earlier in the day (which she said she would) and she exploded again. Saying things like how she just got on and stuff. (Now let me remind you that me and her were friends online so I had no way of knowing that.) It was at that moment that I had had enough of her attitude and decided to match her energy. She blocked me then after.

A few days later she unblocked me and asked me what it was that I wanted. I gave very simple but reasonable wants. I wanted her to initiate things every once in a while. Ask how my day was/how I was doing. See if I wanted to play something. Not often but every once in awhile. But apparently that was too much for her.

Then she tells me things. Things that would have been good to know earlier and not when she was wanting to sever the friendship. She told me that sometimes she didn't feel like talking to me, that sometimes she felt like it was a chore to do so, and that it felt like something she had to do.

She tells me that she was having problem with a variety of things. But she didn't tell me because she was still mad at me for something that had happened months ago. (Which would explain her randomly going off).

I knew none of that. Yet she expected me to glean information off of things that I had no idea about. She told me that she cared for me. That she had forgiven me for something I accidentally did. But if she was still mad at me for the other thing, I started to wonder if she had forgiven me at all. She recognized when she hurt our mutual friend, but not when she had hurt me.

Am I the asshole for wanting someone to put in more effort into a friendship

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Hermit527 on 2023-12-31 04:18:20+00:00.

I (28M) am planning on moving out of a house that me and some roommates agreed to lease.

To preface, I lived at this house for 4 years, and in the first 2 years I had one set of roommates. All of these roommates left and that left me with the house and I could invite some people to become roommates. So I gathered some new roommates to help me lease the house and reduce the cost of living. We were a nice bunch chilling at the house and there weren't that many issues.

2 years pass by and some "changes" have occurred around the house. A roommate started inviting her cousin over and started to become a "tenant." She would occasionally come by the house on random days, be it Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and even Sunday and start having karaoke nights or just drink the night away until like 3AM. I have work from Monday through Friday at 5AM. This "tenant" and the others would tend to get rowdy later in the day and cause a lot of noise to the point where I can't sleep at night. As a person who has to work early in the morning, I would ask nicely to keep the noise levels down to a minimum. They would refuse to listen and continue their activities at the same noise level, if not louder.

This has been a recurring event for about 6 months and the situation hasn't gotten any better. I would always ask these roommates to keep the noise levels down whenever they have these gatherings, but to no avail. I am outnumbered in this situation because every roommate is joining in on these activities and I'm the only one who wants to have peace and quiet.

So, being as there is no longer a compromise with these tenants, I have decided to move out of the premises. I gave my landlord a written notice and she has accepted it. What I did not know is that the landlord is no longer making the lease valid after I move out, so now everyone is getting evicted. This was something beyond my control and I did not know that she was essentially going to remove the house off the renting market and evict all of the tenants.

The roommates find out about this and they are absolutely furious. They are saying that I am the asshole for leaving the house and basically making them "homeless". I can hear them from my room flaming me for not asking what I asked for (even though I did) and not forewarning them that I am moving out, even though the lease terms explicitly state that a 30 days written notice is required.

So, AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/GoblinWeirdo on 2023-12-31 04:17:23+00:00.

Okay, first post, hoping to get some perspective on something because I’m equally torn between feeling guilty and feeling justified; this is essentially a repeated situation and I had previously accepted IATA but now it has popped up again, I don’t know that I am. (Sorry for being long-winded, I’m a chronic over-explainer!)

The initial incident occurred a few months ago, where I was travelling overseas with a group of friends (let’s say Friend Group 1/FG1) to a country where some other good friends happen to live; I was not there to see them on this trip, just a nice coincidence.

One of the friends from Friend Group 2/FG2 was holding a birthday party the same time I happened to be in their country, so I was obviously thrilled to be able to attend and catch up with everyone. A few days before the party, a couple of people from FG1 berated me and told me it was extremely rude of me to go to the birthday party without them, despite the fact FG1 and FG2 have never met, and are very different groups of people.

They said FG2 were also rude to not invite them while knowing we were all travelling together at the time. Again, they don’t know each other and this was a fairly intimate small party so I didn’t think it was going to be an issue for them not to go, especially since FG1 had each other to spend time with while I was at the party, it wasn’t as if it was one individual person being left all alone; we had all broken off into smaller groups to do various things on this trip before the party. Anyway, I felt like the AH and didn’t end up going to the party and didn’t end up seeing FG2 at all on that trip.

Fast forward to today and it’s the middle of the afternoon on NYE so you’d think plans would be in place for everyone by now, but I get a call from someone from FG1 who asked what I’m doing because they’ll be alone tonight with no plans. Here’s the kicker; a couple from FG2 have since moved back here and I am actually attending a NYE/welcome back party with them. Now I feel like I’m the AH for not inviting the person from FG1 to the FG2 party again but honestly the way I see it is it isn’t my party to begin with, and even though the FG2 people are lovely and gracious and would probably have no issue with them coming, as I said previously they’re all very different people and I also don’t think every single friend has to be friends with each other; I don’t see anything wrong with having different groups of friends with different “vibes” and interests, etc.

So, AITA for not inviting FG1 to the FG2 parties? I know it all seems petty, but I carry a lot of guilt and find it hard to discern when I’m being reasonable with boundaries or not. Happy to answer anything that needs clarifying.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Ok_Committee_6479 on 2023-12-31 04:16:17+00:00.

Burner account but here it goes. My (27F) boyfriend David (35M) is from a European country. I am from the US but we met studying at a university in the UK. He is an only child and his parents are divorced. I am going to be starting a professional degree in the US fall 2024 while he stays in the UK for his work and we do distance. Since it’s the holiday season right now, we started talking about how we will handle the holidays next year with my restrictive schedule. I only get 2 days off for thanksgiving and 2 weeks off around the holidays in the whole semester.

I basically told David that I would spend 1 week with my family for Christmas and then spend the second week with him somewhere on a trip of our choosing (David and I travel together a lot as it’s our favorite thing to do because thanks to Ryan air European flights are cheap).

David said to me that wherever we go, he’s going to have to bring his mom because she’s going to be lonely on NYE and they go on a trip together every year for NYE. He said she can’t spend time with her siblings and their family because they go to their in laws side of the family for NYE.

I basically told him that I think it’s absolutely unacceptable and that I would not be visiting if we are going somewhere with his mother. I said I understand she might be lonely on one night but I only get 2 weeks off and am choosing to spend that week with him instead of my family. His mom is retired and they could easily postpone their trip to a week in January. I understand it’s not exactly NYE but I don’t have that level of flexibility while they do. It’s not like he is skipping Christmas with his family to spend it with me and mine in the US so I also think it’s offensive to my family that I would ditch them for NYE to spend it with David AND his mom.

I don’t dislike his mother she’s fine but I don’t want to spend the only vacation days I have with time to fly transatlantic to be with his mother. The alone time would be important to me and to be frank, a holiday with BFs side of the family is not particularly restful.

AITA for not wanting to go on a 2024-2025 NYE trip with just my boyfriend and his mom?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/FatDepressoEspresso on 2023-12-31 04:15:48+00:00.

I (m18) come from a pretty progressive family of four. Since as far as I can remember, my family has always been very caring and just loveable in general. I always knew there were a lotta issues between my parents when it came to my dads family. They aren't the best people. Extremely selfish and they would never hesitate to prioritise to choose between themselves and their own son.

There's always been some bad blood between my mom and them. My dad is a great father, he's loves my brother (m 23) and me.

My mom, has always come to me to vent her feelings whenever she starts feeling tired out or had a fight with my dad. Literally only 18 years of my existence. My brother, not so much. While I once listened with a patient mind, I cannot do this anymore.

When my brother moved out of the country for his further education, he left me completely alone to deal with everything and I was only 14. I didn't want to call him because I never wanted to burden him with all of this mess so I always dealt with such issues myself.

These things started getting more frequent and took a toll on me. I used to be an extremely extroverted person who could speak to anyone and made friends easy and trusted easy. Now I feel like I don't even want to speak to people, let alone trust them.

Since the past 6 months, my dad changed his job again, this time into something much better but he's home much more frequently. My mom and dad had a crazy fight. They haven't spoken to each other since. My mom has been complaining to me about everything and I have tried my best to give her the best advice I can. She did go for therapy but she left it.

My college has exams and 5000 word essays every 2 weeks. I just go to college, then come back to a home that doesn't feel like it anymore

My brother came back recently and he's more indifferent than before, he simply does not care what happens anymore. My parents have been giving him a lot of attention and prioritise him much more. I'm not jealous, genuinely, but I do feel really left out.

I feel so uncomfortable at home. I don't want to talk to anyone and I feel like crying. I told my mom to just finish it if she wanted to, my brother and I would never blame her. She said it was complicated. She never speaks to my brother about all this, always only me but she's always thanking other people for helping her. I feel like she has taken me for granted now. If I advise her with something against her wishes, she doesn't like it.

Now, I just don't care anymore. It's all so monotonous to me. Earlier I used to be scared of my family falling apart, now I feel like if this truly even happens, I wouldn't mind. My dad will not listen to him. I'm the youngest there's no way he would listen to me seriously, trust me, I tried and my brother just doesn't want to speak to my dad about this. He's neutral.

With all this, AIMT for just not caring anymore? What should I do?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Idk-man-6331 on 2023-12-31 04:02:02+00:00.

(Sorry this is going to be long this is part one)

Everyone in this story is in high school. Please keep this in mind. So I (16 yo female) have had this friend, let’s call her Sandra (also 16yo female) who I met through a mutual friend. We were very close until she got her first boyfriend, Tom. I supported and even encouraged this relationship. He seemed nice, and I have nothing against him to this day. However, about 6 months or so ago I’ve noticed how distant Sandra has become. Over the summer I asked her to hang out with me and a few of our other mutual friends multiple times, but she always declined, and I mean literally always. She’d say she was tired, or didn’t feel like it, but never that she had other plans. But she would constantly hang out with her boyfriend and always seemed happy to do so. Understand, I’m not upset that she’s spending time with her boyfriend. I just feel hurt that she doesn’t ever want to hang out with her friends. We have always invited her every time we hung out together, and she usually declined. The only time I saw her over the summer was on my birthday. The first few times she did this, I wasn’t upset because I figured it wouldn’t be more than a couple times. However, this became a common reoccurrence, and it started to hurt me. It felt like she didn’t care about me or our friendship. She would only hang out with me when it was convenient for her, or when she invited her boyfriend Tom as well. For example, in freshman year before my friend group could drive, Sandra came over to my house after school multiple times every week. I loved her company, and my family always welcomed her. As soon as her boyfriend got his license, she only hangs out with him after school. It feels like she ditched me. Me and my other friend, who can drive, have often invited her to hang out or get food after school, but she always says that she’d rather stay with Tom. Sandra and Tom have a very healthy relationship from what I understand. They see each other everyday in school, after school, and outside of school. I just don’t understand why she doesn’t hang out with me, or anyone in our friend group anymore. We don’t have much longer in high school, and I just want to spend as much time as possible with my friends before we all graduate.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/gingerbreadgirl0 on 2023-12-31 03:52:10+00:00.

I don't know if it's a good idea to post this, but I am so frustrated.

Am I wrong for not wanting my stepdad to wash my underwear..? I've told my mom to tell him a couple times, and I told him nicely before, but he keeps coming into my room and grab my hampers when he does the laundry... And, they keep saying it's just clothes, he's helping me, he's a part of a family, and it's not a big deal...

But, I feel like it is a big deal, and I feel like it's a huge violation of my privacy. And I don't want him seeing my underwear.

Earlier today, he did it again when I was not in my room, and he made some comments about my underwear to me. And I cried because I was so embarrassed and frustrated and felt violated, and instead of defending me, my mom pulled me aside and told I'm overreacting and me reacting like this makes him feel like I'm pushing him out or something. And I am being inconsiderate, and I should get over myself...

Am I really the a-word in this situation? Am I overreacting...? Am I the bad one here?

Sorry for ranting.

Edit: to clarify, I do my laundry, and I told them that they don't have to do them because I will do. But, he grabs them when I'm away to help me out.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Brycebattlep on 2023-12-31 03:48:44+00:00.

I (23) live with my grandma (86) mostly to keep her company, and make sure she doesn't fall alone. Recently I had trouble with a few of my long term finances, so I'm currently trying to transfer large sums of money. I wanted to do it this year but do to scheduling conflicts Im not able to. However grandma thought in her infinite wisdoms the a letter could help and normally, I humor her and do as she says. Do to it being early in the morning for me I, was already frustrated. She has me go upstairs where she has my stock account, my old checkbook, and my most recent bank statement layed out all private information that I don't like anyone touching. I then told her I needed my new check book so I when downstairs to get it. When I came back up I found her going thought my bank statements and start grilling me on all my purchases. To which I exploded screaming at her that she has no right to look at my personal information. AITA? Edit: a few things I didn't make clear

1. I am not mooching off my grandma I help with Bill as needed 2the money problems refer to a great deal on money that a broker tried to steal from me 3 I realize I'm the asshole for yelling at her

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Significant-Way-7059 on 2023-12-31 03:35:48+00:00.

Am I the asshole? My 2 sons (20&15) drove (7 hours to another state) to see their grandma (their dad’s mom). My oldest son hasn’t spoken to his father in a couple years, and my youngest sees him about once a month. Their father is and always has been manipulative and has a different definition of reality than most people. Their father has had a tumultuous relationship with his mom and sisters, and family in general, for his whole life. I’m only adding this because I’m not sure if the background is a reason for the treatment my oldest got from his aunt and grandmother last night. I wasn’t there, but I’ve heard enough versions of the story to get a good idea what actually happened. My 2 sons, grandma, and 2 aunts all went out last night to a family friendly establishment, but loud and very active. My 20 year old suffers from extreme hearing loss, and we’ve been trying to decide on the best course of action to improve his hearing. Apparently an aunt and grandma kept trying to speak to my son, and he repeatedly had to tell them to speak up because they couldn’t seem to understand why he couldn’t hear them, they claim they were speaking loudly. Who cares how loud they were speaking, the fact is, he still can’t hear you. So apparently my son starts getting frustrated and embarrassed, so he sat next to his brother and talked to him instead. This prompted aunt to tell my son that they just paid a decent amount for them to do this together, he could at least be respectful. I’m confused at this point, so I get gma’s version; she thought my son was talking bad about them to his brother, and doesn’t believe that he wasn’t. My son handed aunt $$ and said, if ur going to use that against me I’d rather pay and this can be done. Aunt says to my son “ if ur going to be a jerk, nobody wants you here and you can just go home” it was late, my son didn’t want to drive last night with no sleep, so him and his brother left first thing this morning. This is when I hear my 2 sons version. I then call grandma to get her side, and she’s immediately on the defensive. I honestly thought that she was going to apologize for her daughter’s behavior and ease my mind that she wasn’t ok with her daughter being so hurtful and treating my son like he’s her brother ( kids dad) Grandma insists that my son smarted off to her and that’s why aunt said what she did. She proceeded to continuously try to justify her daughter saying something so hurtful and traumatizing. I don’t think it’s justifiable at all, and I’m upset that someone who should love and protect my kids, would treat them like this. Am I overreacting? Am I the jerk for thinking they are delusional and owe my son, both actually, some major apologies?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Upstairs-Vehicle4018 on 2023-12-31 03:47:47+00:00.

To make a long, horrifically complex story short: I hate my parents as people. I love them as my parents, but they are genuinely awful people. Sexist, racist, classist, you name it they're probably it. My step parents are passive about all of it. Which is probably why my parents married them in the first place.

I've always had a rule that my parents will have the minimal amount of information about my life. Anything that's told to them is from my brother or my heavily censored facebook, which I don't mind. I stopped initiating contact once I moved to a different city about 6 years ago and it's been so freeing.

A new rule got implemented when my brother brought his Japanese friend to our dad's house and he went on this weird condescending speech about WWII and how Japan is just playing up the effects of the bombs. This friend's grandfather had survived said bombing and she described her experience as "watching him melt in slow motion". The rule I implemented, which my brother seems to follow too, is that my parents aren't allowed to meet anyone that I'm friends with or am romantically involved with.

Well, Christmas came and we were at my dad's house (with my brother's Chinese wife and Nigerian friend, so you can guess what comments were made) and my stepmom was asking about when I'd bring friends around and when I'd start dating and introduce them. I casually said "There's no chance in hell I'd bring anyone near here" and they stopped asking me about my personal life.

I had gotten really used to explaining it to people, so that sentence has left my mouth many, many times. Possibly more times than my name, actually. The rest of Christmas was awkward and it was clear that my dad and stepmom were hurt, but no one else said anything. When we left, my brother instantly started laughing when we got into the car (he was my ride since I can't legally drive due to a disability). But I feel bad that I said it to their faces at Christmas of all days.

Now, to my horror, my mom has been contacting me asking if I thought the same about her and, after a lot of questioning, I finally just said "of course I do" and she stopped messaging and calling. Both my parents are mentally ill, so I know this has probably messed with them a lot and I definitely feel bad about that, but I told them the truth. They prodded and I answered.

AITA?