Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/urprissinessbeingme on 2023-12-31 03:42:18+00:00.

My parents got married young and had me in their teens I (15f) grew up as someone they blame their problems on and honestly they act like i'm the cause of their divorce. My choice in the divorce was to live with my mom and do weekly visits to dad or vice versa but they pulled me aside and said I could also decide if I wanted to stay with my grandparents because they requested custody. Their is nothing i would want more then to live with them as they act more like my parents then my real ones. When my mom heard this, she got really upset at me and started calling me a bitch and an asshole and complaining that no one loves her. She called my grandparents and started at them too. My dad is a drunkie and one of the only times he's sober, he tells me "you're a bitch like your mom and your going to hoe around and get pregnant by the time your 16. "

I of course got really upset and called the child service person and my grandparents to see if they could get custody. Well they are and my parents are really upset over the whole thing especially cause they believe they haven't been abusive to me. I'm at my grandparents house officially now and they keep calling me to scream and curse and I feel really bad. My grandma tells me that their insecure and bad people but I think I am an asshole for doing this to them

So long story short I moved out and my parents keep calling me telling me to come back home because they think I'm a bitch for leaving them. I'm starting to think i was too harsh and some of my friends told me that I was being dramatic about it. Am I the asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/rhymeswithcandi on 2023-12-31 02:22:01+00:00.

My wedding is coming up within the next year and one of my bridesmaids has informed me that she's planning on being pregnant before the wedding. She reached out and asked if I'd care about her being pregnant at my wedding, to which I was hesitant to respond. It caught me completely off guard as she isn't married and had barely been with her boyfriend for 6 months at this time. She then goes on to explain to me that her boyfriend is planning to get her pregnant and starts to describe this grand scheme where they'll fall pregnant, get engaged, marry, and then have a baby (in that order) all in under a year. My initial concern was the timelines and rush on it all as we've spoken several times about her plans and this completely contradicts all of them.

Beyond that, we started to discuss the actual timeline of the pregnancy, which if it goes to plan would have her well into her 3rd trimester during my wedding. So close that I don't think she should even attend the wedding at that time (between 38-40 weeks). The initial shock of the conversation lead me to ultimately answer "Let's just see what happens," because I would hate to damage our friendship over things that haven't happened yet. It's now been a few weeks and she's brought it up again saying how her being pregnant will change what she wears and how she acts during the bachelorette trip and talking about having her wedding 4 months after mine.

I love my friend dearly and I truly would never ask anyone to put a pause on their life for the sake of my wedding, but I'm starting to feel like I should ask her to step down. With all the things she says she has planned, I don't see this all playing out well and the mere thought is stressing me out. It's all making me regret asking her to be in the wedding because I don't feel like she'd be able to support me the way I'd need her to. Am I the asshole if I ask her to step down?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Important_Mammoth984 on 2023-12-30 16:23:29+00:00.

I (F23) hosted a small get together with a couple of friends whom I barely got to see this year. My friends and I also had a little falling out mid 2023 and this was our first get together after the said fall out.

My aunt (and her family), who lives next door, dropped by and saw my friends. A few moments later, my cousin (F30), who has autism, came and invited herself to my get together. I’m not exactly sure what her level in the autism spectrum is but she behaves as a kid, like a 6 year old and not 30 years old. She cannot not function as an adult (e.g she cannot have a job, did not went to proper schooling, etc.) My aunt raised her as a spoiled brat, who gives her everything and does not correct her behavior. My cousin would throw tantrums in public places and would scream whenever things don’t go her way. You can’t also scold her since she’ll just be a menace and would make a scene.

A little background: when I was a teen (around 14-15), my aunt would often force me to babysit her. Whenever I would go to some place (like malls, churches, etc.) my aunt would tell me to bring my cousin with me. At some point, it got tiring as a kid myself, I really don’t want to take care of someone who’s older than me yet behaves like a child. Honestly, her kid is not my problem.

So when my cousin showed up at my little get together (which may be due to my aunt’s doing), I was annoyed and gave her a couple snacks and sent her home. My aunt was annoyed at me, saying that I should be “more understanding” and that my cousin needs social interaction too.

Again, I fail to see how that is my problem. But am I the asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/anon_12347967 on 2023-12-31 04:54:57+00:00.

We all get given a certain day to use the washing machien in the house. But over the holiday season this has been compltely veto'd as my mum said she would like to use it, which is fair. However, my sister is going back to work on Tuesday so after my mum finished with it today, my sister started to use it. My sister started to wash all her clothes, not only things she needed for Tuesday. Whereas I have somewhere to be on Tuesday as well and only wanted to wash the clothes I need for Tuesday. I asked her if I could go ahead of her as I only need to use the washing machine once, she said no. I then went to my mum and explained the situation. My mum offered for my clothes to be washed on Sunday but I was worried whether it would dry by then as the clothes are quite thick. So my mum said fine, take it, but only once. I said thanks. On the way to the washing machine, my sister put a huge hissy fit complaining about how she has to stay up longer during the night (we are only allowed to use the washing machine 7pm-6am due to economic reasons) and this all started at around 12am. So she pulled a hissy fit, telling my mum of how stupid and awful I am. I heard this and felt bad so I thought of a way to perhaps help her out. I gave her some time to cool down (around 3-5mins...I never timed it) and came back to her, I said to her 'When are you going to sleep' and she started saying 'be quiet, i dont wanna hear from you, go away' and she refused to talk to me, so I had to go to my mum. I got really annoyed at her because why is she getting angry still? I appreciate shes annoyed at me and I would have no trouble with her giving me an angry tone if shes talking to me, but why not talk it out? I would understand if she told me to go away if I was antagonising her, but I was genuinely trying to help her out. AITA for expecting her to control herself and her emotions. Idk, because when I'm in these situations, yes i'll be pissed, but if you wanna talk it out, lets go. and tbf its not a big deal to be pissed enough to not want to talk to you

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Particular-Taste354 on 2023-12-31 01:36:08+00:00.

My (16M) sister (17F) is a very light sleeper. She’s in bed by like 11:30 and makes sure to tell me and my sister to be quiet like soo many times even though her room is far away from where we are. It just doesn’t make sense.

Anyways, I like to stay up till 3-4am usually and I wake up at whatever time I want. Our schedules are very different cause she’s up by like 8am or something with my parents. We all currently have vacation and are staying at home.

Yesterday I was heading to bed earlier (like 3am) when my sister came to my room and started attacking me saying I have waked her up every single day for a week. I told her it’s not like I’m talking to anyone (I was literally in the kitchen making food and brushed my teeth after) but she said she can still hear it anyways. I told her that she was not letting me sleep now which is hypocritical if anything.

She then started crying saying how she can’t rest at all because she can’t get herself to sleep afterwards. I told her well that’s not my problem. Because what am I supposed to change my sleep schedule for her? She then told my parents and my dad told me if I bother her again I will not be happy. And mom told me I should be glad it’s not her I woke up. It’s been blown way out of proportion so AITA? I feel like they’re being biased cause they wake up early too.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/gypsy42194 on 2023-12-30 23:37:50+00:00.

Me (29 F) I'm a host at a Mexican restraunt my job is to seat people , get drinks, and ect... and help out the waiters if need be and I'm not a cashier their job is to answer ANSWER THE PHONE , take Togo orders and the homework that comes with it ( been there done that) but am I the asshole for telling two people I work with that it's not MY JOB to answer the phone when it's THE CASHIERS JOB IM NOT THE CASHIER

And the cashiers get paied more than the hosts do and these two people expect me to do their job AND ANSWER THE PHONE I don't expect them to help me bus tables n shit I can do that myself that's their choice to help me out it's also my choice to not do their job n tell them " its not my job " when it's not and then want to try to tell me n tub in my face cause these people are petty as he'll n tell me " it's not my job to take back bus tubs" when Noone said it was YOUR JOB but yet I turn around n you do it anyway SO DONT BE PETTY TO ME AND ACT LIKE I DONT BRING BACK BUS TUBS

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Unhappy-Caregiver-14 on 2023-12-31 04:30:20+00:00.

This happened last week, but it has been bothering me since I made a scene and said many rude things to the lady and her family.

While doing some last-minute Christmas shopping, I was with my daughter and husband while in line the family in front of us were talking and for a brief moment the mother who had dementia hugged my daughter and wished her memory Christmas. She also gave her some candy.

The son of the lady instantly apologized and stated she had dementia. My husband said no worries and thanked the lady with dementia. I on the other hand screamed and shouted some horrible things. I was scared for many reasons, I blamed myself for the most part.

My husband told me he was extremely disappointed in how I handled myself, and said my behavior was inexcusable. No harm was done. I did get defensive because my argument was that something bad could have happened. My husband said but nothing bad did happen, and all I did was reinforce stupid stereotypes around black mothers.

I have spoken with my family everyone seems to think I overreacted, and now I feel like I have gone crazy in how I reacted in this situation.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Aaupixx on 2023-12-31 04:04:05+00:00.

I (female, 17) work two part time jobs along with selling my paintings on the side. I make pretty okay money for my age. My friend (female, also 17) texted me the other day asking me if I could give her $100,000 for college since we are both about to graduate. I was shocked to say the least. She's in and out of jobs a lot and doesn't have much money so I do help her with that sometimes. But i just wasn't expecting that. I have the money. But the thing is, if I give it to her, then I wouldn't have money for myself. I plan on going to college as well. Thats what I've been saving for over 7 years for. I wanted to help her still, so I offered to just pay for a portion and she could take the rest. Along with prices for books and stuff. But she told me off. She called me a two faced backstabbing b*tch and blocked me. I went to another friend of mine and told her the situation. She told me I should've just helped her. I really don't know what to do anymore. I was confident I was in the right up until now. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Forsaken_Narwhal_178 on 2023-12-31 03:59:01+00:00.

AITA for refusing to pay for the plates my step-sister lent me? This past October my husband and I got married. I have two step sisters who I have never particular got along with. In 2021, one of my step sisters got married, and my mom bought all the candles and other supplies for their centerpieces. All of these supplies ended up in a shed at the house we were renting from my mom. They sat there for a year before my husband and I announced our wedding date. She visited Christmas before our wedding and said we could use any of the supplies in the shed. We were very thankful and said we would love to use the LED candles and offered to sell them afterward and Venmo her the money or ship them back. We found it odd that she was "claiming" these candles as my mom paid for them, and they were used in my brother's wedding before hers. She said no need and we could keep the candles. We even took her in the shed and asked if there was anything she would like to take home with her and she said no. (She lives out of state) Well fast forward to my wedding and my mother loaded up a ton of items from the shed and brought them to our wedding. I guess there were more items besides the LED candles and my mom grabbed those which included two serving plates. These plates were given to our cater by someone who accidentally took them home. We asked them to mail them back to her and he said he would back in November and we were under the impression he did. Well fast forward to today and I get a call from my mom screaming beacuse the step sister never got them. The caterer had a baby the week of our wedding, and these are 2 basic white serving plates. My mom and step sister are insisting that I pay $70 to replace these 2 serving plates. I don't think I should have to replace them. For one I never knew they existed till after the wedding and never asked to used them , secondly they were sitting in the shed for over a year, and she had an opportunity to take them home and she didn't. I don't blame the caterer as, honestly, he did so much for the wedding, and these plates look like they are from Walmart, not like $70 plates. To add to it my husband was laid off these year while her and her husband are extremely wealthy and always try and make me feel poor. I would never pay $70 for TWO plates for myself. They did help set up the wedding which I am grateful for, but also was not expected of them at all, and not asked of them. However that does mean she had to know those plates were at the wedding so why didn't she take them if there were so important? The caterer had his own supplies. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Competitive-Dot-8811 on 2023-12-31 02:38:37+00:00.

This might be a long post, there is quite some backstory.

My parents separated when i was 14 years old. My father Bob (69) has a wife/girlfriend named Julie (66), they are not married and have been together for about 15 years in a long distance relationship. My dad used to visit Julie on the weekends while he was still working and live there for most of the week after he stopped working. They bought an apartment together close to me(35) about 4 months ago.

They invited the family to a Christmas dinner on the 26th, a tradition in my family that my father invites us on this day. Her kids were not there. I have two full siblings and one half sibling on my mother's side and all were invited along with our kids and significant others.

Julie is sensitive to strong smells according to my dad so he warns the whole family to not wear any strong cologne or deodorant when we come. I think this is a little bit weird but fine i usually don't wear any cologne anyway and i skipped my deodorant.

I dragged my daughter (4) on a slow sled over to their apartment about 15 minutes away from mine. When i get there i sit down in a sofa that was from her old apartment originally. They brought one sofa each from their old places. Her sofa has a sheet on it, presumably so no perfume smells stick to it. Anyway she asks me to move to my dad's old sofa because according to her there is a strong smell coming from my Christmas sweater which was washed with a detergent with a smell (like 95% of all people use).

I was surprised there was any smell coming off of me because i had been careful not using any cologne or deodorant but i moved to the other sofa. Then she starts reading a book for my daughter in her old sofa and i asked her if my daughter could stay there with her because her clothes had been washed with the same detergent. She said yes because she can't smell as much from her.

I got pretty angry at that point and tried to tell her i thought it was rude inviting people over with ridiculous terms. Then she complained i was not being considerate of her perfume allergy which i honestly don't think she has, have never seen her have any allergic symptoms. I have allergies and it's pretty obvious when i have symptoms. I thought she was behaving like a victim while having absurd terms for everyone visiting and i lost it. I told her and my father who was agreeing with her that i would not partake in this crazy situation and left with my daughter and my sister who was the only other person there agreed with me and left with us.

I have been feeling pretty pissed off for a couple of days about this whole situation. My whole family aside from my dad thinks Julie is crazy. I'm upset with my dad for buying in to her crazy beliefs and worried that he has lost his common sense.

AITA?

AWTA? Are we the assholes? Me and the rest of my family except for my father.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/fernandothefootdr on 2023-12-31 02:30:58+00:00.

Two weeks before Christmas, my boomer neighbor cussed me out for parking on the street (public parking) in a particular spot because she had wanted to park there. I had moved in recently, and she shouted that she has been living in her home for 25 plus years and called me inconsiderate, a racial slur plus every name in the book. I work from home often, and she had also told me that she was going to tell our landlord that I was unemployed (We live in townhomes).

I apologize profusely and she continues to swear at me. I go inside and just leave it at that and plan to ignore her. But it doesn't stop there. I dropped a bottle of conditioner in the shower that night. She made a noise complaint. She then made a noise complaint about my cat meowing while I was at the office and then I get a text from my landlord asking for my employment verification again. Then she makes a complaint to my landlord about my partner "looking like a criminal" and then another complaint about how she doesn't like me parking on the street (she often has company over that park in my assigned spot but I was too chicken to say anything-- I never parked in 'her' spot again btw). I never once made a complaint about her.

The final straw was actually on Christmas Eve. I parked in MY assigned spot (not on the street but in the parking lot) and relaxing cooking dinner at home when I hear very loud pounding on my door. I get startled and get up and answer and it's my neighbor who started to cuss me out again and yelling at me to move my car because she has company coming over and she wants them to park in my spot because "they have a hard time walking and are elderly" I ask if they can park on the street and she yells no and tells me to hurry up and says she will tell management I am growing weed in my home (I'm not) if I don't move. I just move all the way to the end of the street but I am PISSED. So I go back home, make a poop in the toilet, take a selfie with me and the poop and then take a picture of my cat's litter box which also has a poop in it. I then upload the photos to a word doc with the caption, "Merry Christmas Neighbor!" and I tape it to her front door.

I then get a visit from the police that my neighbor is pressing charges on me for harassment and my landlord is pissed. I thought this was harmless, but after telling my partner and mom, they are saying that this was awful of me to do and that I should always respect my elders, even if they're not nice to me.

Was I the asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/PhysicalDuty3682 on 2023-12-31 04:56:49+00:00.

AITA here?

My SO and I started a business and am doing decent, not well off, but we have turned a profit a lot quicker than I thought we would.

I am literally doing 100% of the work. I have worked myself into exhaustion and sickness getting this off the ground. He is working a regular job to keep paying the bills.

Anyways his mother and him have been no contact for a while and they just started talking again. She offered him a hefty loan to help "his business" I'm talking over $20,000. As long as I was "just an employee". She has ALWAYS hated me, but I won't get into that.

While yes, he has gotten me a few orders from his coworkers, I am still creating and doing 100% of the job while also doing the social media part. He doesn't even know how to work the machine or the programs to run it. While it was his money that got everything in the beginning, I have earned that back twice over on my own.

When I heard him say that I was just an employee so I said, "As just an employee, I QUIT." I seriously stopped in the middle of a project (not an order but a prototype for a possible product) and went to our room. Heck I still have paint on my hands while typing this.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Maximum-Section1974 on 2023-12-31 01:29:38+00:00.

My boyfriend has 2 kids. He split with the mom in 2020, we started dating in Jan. 2022. He doesn’t have the greatest coparenting relationship with his children’s mom. Her & I have been pleasant with one another aside from her initial standoff-ishness (because I was a new person around their kids.) before my boyfriend and I started dating (we would hang out as friends) he told me a lot of details about their split, one of them being that she told him she had hopes that they’d split and eventually get back together. He on the other hand says that they weren’t good for each other and that he felt like he settled bcs she got pregnant & the relationship taught him what he wanted/didn’t want. There have been times where she has overstepped boundaries and made comment or inquires about our lifestyle or things outside the kids. (We ride motorcycles, my age, if him and I wanted to have a kid, he has dogs and she complained about him not telling her one of them had surgery, ect.) I’ve told my boyfriend that I’m sketched out by her intentions sometimes and feel like she might still hold out hope for them getting back together. I trust that my boyfriend doesn’t want to be with her and I know he loves me.

Today we went to drop the kids off at her place and when I got out I saw that she got a haircut and complimented her. My boyfriend got out of the truck about 2 minutes later & said to her “oh you got your hair did, it looks nice.” After we got in the truck I told home that I feel like the comment was a bit inappropriate. He said that he was extending an olive branch and complimented her bcs I complimented her. I told him it isn’t the same, she isn’t my ex that I had relations with. I feel like it’s opening a door to more of these interactions on both sides.

I feel like I should also add that my mom just caught her husband having an affair with his ex wife. & it started w small talk/compliments, so maybe I’m paranoid?

He is standing firm on complimenting her physical appearance isn’t wrong & that he was just being nice.

I agree to an extent, I just feel like this isn’t an appropriate way to extend and olive branch. & honestly just wanted my feelings validated vs disregarded. Am I wrong to want him to prioritize the way the interaction made me feel over the desire to extend and olive branch in this manner?

I’m all for them learning to coparenting better, I think they’re both great parents individually& I’ve shared this sentiment with them both (separately).

So I want to ask for your unbiased opinion, what is your take on the situation? Inappropriate, or am I being the asshole?

Edit to add: When we spoke about this I asked him if we were at a bar and saw a guy I slept with, and I complimented something about him, would it bother him. To which he responded, it depends on the delivery. Which I feel is a bit loaded, what proper delivery is sort subjective.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/BabyNameThrowaway931 on 2023-12-31 04:29:33+00:00.

I (26F) am currently 7 months pregnant and a few weeks ago we found out that we were having a little girl. My husband (28M) and I had already decided on what to name our baby depending on the gender, and upon finding out that she was going to be a girl, we announced that we would name her Adelaide. I first heard of this name when I was a kid and thought it was beautiful, and decided that if I ever had a daughter, I would name her Adelaide.

After hearing this, one of my friends (27F), who I have been close with since we were at University, began acting distant towards us. Throughout my pregnancy I have tried to be sensitive to her feelings, as I knew it was a sore point for her. Two years ago, she tragically lost her baby girl to a stillbirth. I can’t even begin to imagine how heartbreaking this must have been for her and I made sure I supported her through this devastating loss. Despite her trauma, she has never been anything less than kind and empathetic towards me, up until that day. A couple of weeks later, she confronted us, suggesting we change the name of our baby, to which we rebuffed. She kept on trying to convince us, suggesting different names, or saying that Adelaide was too old-fashioned or that it wouldn’t suite our child. We kept on denying to change her name, until eventually my friend started crying and revealed that Adelaide was the name she’d chosen for her stillborn baby.

When she was pregnant, she refused to tell anyone her baby’s name, as she wanted it to be a surprise for when she was born. After the stillbirth, she decided she would keep the name to herself because it was personal to her, to which we understood. Until recently, no one knew what her baby was going to be called. She claims that, by keeping our name, we are disrespecting the memory of her baby. She said that if I chose the same name then my daughter would be a living reminder of what could have been. I completely understand her grief, but I believe I should have the right to name my own child without being burdened by someone else’s trauma. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Chance-Excitement-36 on 2023-12-31 01:26:08+00:00.

My sister (18F) works at a popular chocolate store and came home crying because she said a customer was being really racist to her today. She wouldn’t tell me what she said but she was really upset about it and I told her to quit. She then said that her assistant manager sided with the customer because she “didn’t hear the conversation and the women said she had an attitude problem.” She didn’t stand up for my sister at all, which made me very angry. I told her first of all to quit her job and that either I, mom, or my dad would go up there and talk to the manager and assistant manager about allowing an older woman harass a high schooler. She said that she didn’t want us to go up there or tell my parents about what happened, so I was wondering if I would be the asshole if I went up there anyway and confronted the lady on her unacceptable treatment of my sister? I was planning to wait until after she quit so she wouldn’t have to deal with their potential spitefulness.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/HelpNeedAdvic3 on 2023-12-31 01:10:19+00:00.

My boyfriend (26M) and I (22F) began dating about 5 weeks ago. I'll admit we have moved pretty quickly. We take turns sleeping over at the others house almost every day, we have had conversations about what it would be like if we were to get married or have a kid together. Basically, things have been going really really well between us! The only thing that has been an issue is his tendency to overshare. I like that he's super open but sometimes he gives too much details. For example, he has told me how his exs prefer to be fucked. I've told him I don't like hearing in depth stories about his ex and if anything it makes me feel iffy about him. He has definitely worked on this since we had that talk until today. We stopped by my moms house as we passed by her street today. She was baby sitting my 5m ond niece and my boyfriend met her for the first time. I genuinely feel like my niece is the cutest baby alive and he knows I ADORE HER. I talk about her all the time, buy her cute things when I go to the store etc. As we got in the car to leave I asked "so what did you think of my baby." He laughed. I expected a response like "She's cute but our babies would be cuter" or something else cheesy. I asked "what's so funny?" He responded "oh its nothing. It doesn't involve us at all?" I looked at him in confusion for about 5 seconds when he says "that's the ugliest baby I ever seen." That was about 30 minutes ago. I gave him the silent treatment the whole ride home and told him I am going to sleep at home tonight instead of at his place. He tried cheering me up by kissing me, telling me jokes, etc. He apologized several times but I don't know how to move forward. Am I wrong for being upset? What would you do in my situation? For clarity, yes I am upset that he called her ugly because the baby is FAR from ugly. The actual issue is that he actually said it despite knowing how rude comments like that are.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Capable_Highlight_62 on 2023-12-31 00:50:52+00:00.

Our family has never gone on a New Year's trip before. But this year might be the last time everyone is all together since the kids are all adults now. I am 55M, wife 55F, son 22M, daughter 19F, daughter 18F.

We weren't sure what we wanted to do. Kids weren't enthusiastic about going anywhere, but wife really wanted to do something all together. Yesterday we still didn't have any concrete plans, so I decided we would go to a large city in a nearby country to celebrate since they have a popular event happening every New Year. My wife also likes this idea. We will drive there tomorrow, celebrate New Year there, likely stay another night, and then come back home Jan 2.

The problem is my son cannot come since his passport is within 6 months of expiry. Also he has a dog and it's too late to find a sitter for his dog. So he is upset we chose somewhere he can't go. But he didn't like any of the nearby suggestions my wife made before anyway. He said he just preferred we all stayed home to celebrate like always, just eating together and playing some games.

So AITA for choosing this destination he cannot go to, even though he didn't want to go anywhere anyway? He can stay home as he likes and I will take my wife and daughters on the trip since they don't have passport issues or a dog. I think he is just mad because yesterday I got some items at work that I gave to my daughters and wife. He is already working and making money, so he doesn't need a gift. Gifts for daughters were only worth around $200 and for wife it is half that. He is making everything about going his way.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Statictricity505 on 2023-12-31 00:48:26+00:00.

I (18F) and my boyfriend (18M) have been together for almost 5 years, we met in middleschool and have been inseparable ever since. Obviously because we’ve been together so long we know eachother inside out, but for our entire relationship, I’ve noticed he’s only ever given me Silver jewellery.

If you asked him right now “Does your gf prefer gold or silver?” He would say gold, because he knows I like gold. But for some reasons he’s only ever bought me silver, I’ve asked him about this before and he told me that “He likes silver which is why he buys it” But I just don’t understand why he buys the colour HE likes when I don’t. It’s never really bothered me before but recently for Christmas he surprised me with this Gorgeous ring I’d been wanting forever, but it wasn’t in the right colour, so I asked him “it’s silver, why not gold?” He told me it was white gold and he liked it better than the one I showed him (the yellow gold one).

Again it’s a beautiful ring nonetheless but I just can’t help but feel a bit conflicted, the only reason i’m writing this is because this morning I was venting to him about an argument I had with my dad and he just completely ignored everything I said and asked if I was excited to get the ring (He always buys Christmas presents On boxing day because it’s cheaper and the ring was coming overseas) and I didn’t reply, I was angry he’d just ignored my whole paragraph I sent and then him reminding me of the ring and how he’d changed the colour to suit his style annoyed me even more.

Either way I’m still gonna love the ring cuz I’ve been wanting it for a while, but I just feel a bit unheard and ignored when it comes to stuff like that, Imagine someone getting your dream thing but in the wrong colour ON PURPOSE, and no, money isn’t a problem and the white gold and yellow gold ring are priced the same. He asked what I wanted for Christmas, I sent him the exact photo, but he got the colour he wanted. I really don’t wanna seem ungrateful but Im thinking of secretly getting it changed for the yellow gold one, Am I the asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/bamfrighthere on 2023-12-31 00:45:15+00:00.

We are having my wife's family over for new year's eve this year and one of the tradition that they've always done is go outside at midnight to make noise for 10-15mins (shouting, vuvuzelas, change in a can etc...). In their traditions this is meant to fight off evil and bring good luck.

This whole concept makes me uneasy as I am always conscious of being neighborly and not disturbing others. My point is that I know it's NYE but there are small children sleeping and adults who do work the next day. My wife says that I am projecting my discomforting with attracting attention to myself and that I should just let them have their fun/tradition.

WIBTA if I refused to let them make noise outside and ask that they do it inside instead?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/thisisathrowawaydud on 2023-12-30 17:54:24+00:00.

AITA for shaming my father for wearing my mother's wig?

So my mother and I were very close. However when I was 8 she was diagnosed with melanoma skin cancer. She went on chemo and was given a few wigs in case her hair fell out. Ultimately she lost her battle with cancer about a year later. Flash forward to today (13 years later) and my father posts a silly selfie on Facebook wearing my dead mother's chemo wig with his tongue sticking out. The post had nothing to do with her, he was just fishing for likes and comments. Like it was just a joke and it's been 13 years but at the same time my mother was close to me, and we all just pretended she didn't exist after she died. I didn't even realize she had cancer until much later and now he's just posting pictures in her wig like it's nothing? Just using part of her suffering for FB likes? I don't know how I should feel about it. I called him out on the post saying "nice wig, where'd you get it?". AITA for calling him out on it? Most people don't even know the history behind it and my comment when over their heads. He's super mad though, he's always been hyper aware of the perceptions of others. I kinda feel like a dick who needs to let go.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/blahblahlucas on 2023-12-30 14:02:35+00:00.

My husband (25) and I (24) are staying at my moms place for the holidays. We're both autistic and have other disabilities so we struggle with a lot of tasks. I'm on disability for that reason and I have a caregiver and I'm in the process of getting a caregiving team to help with daily stuff like cleaning the apartment, shopping, doctor appointments etc. And my mom knows that. She still doesn't accept that I'm disabled but that's besides the point. My mom always cleans on Saturday and she went to work early in the morning. I woke up at around 8am and my husband at 10am and we just laid in bed and then ate in the kitchen and i did all the dishes bc my mom always screams at me if I dont do everyone dishes too so I didn't want to be screamed at. I didn't know it was Saturday bc I still thought it was Friday and when my mom came back around 2pm she came to me and asked if I vacuumed. I was confused and said "did you ask me?" Bc I wasn't sure if she asked me before and I forgot! But she started screaming at me saying that she worked her ass off at her gas station job for 6 hours and went shopping and I couldn't get my ass off to do one little thing without her having to ask and she left to go play at the casino afterwards. Now I feel like shit and want to cry bc I genuinely forgot and didn't know and she always wants me to do stuff that I didn't know she wanted me to do and when I do do it I don't do it good enough. I also have a 13 year old sister who doesn't do anything and my mom doesn't do the same to her. My sister isn't even awake yet. My mom always spoils her and doesn't treat her like she treats me and I'm always the one doing something wrong and when I explain why I can't do stuff she just says it's excuses and others can do it too. But now I feel like I should've known or done it and nor forget so am I the asshole?

Edit to add : I added the part about my sister bc when I was her age she had the same expectations of me that she has today but she doesn't do the same to my sister. I had to do housework like cleaning the toilet, vacuuming, dishes and taking out the trash when I was even younger than my sister but my mom doesn't do the same with my sister at all and I find it unfair even when I ask my sister for help when I need it

2 edit: I want sure if it was relevant to mention my other disabilities but someone said I'm burying the lede so I'm also schizophrenic and have POTS. That's why I have a caregiver and get a caregiving team bc I struggle with big and basic tasks and so does my husband (he has autism and severe OCD and major depressive disorder)

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ThrowRa99001 on 2023-12-31 02:18:34+00:00.

Throwaway account for at least some privacy. I'll start this off by saying that I don't think I overreacted but I lost my whole friendgroup over this, so I might be missing something. I had a friendgroup of 5+ girls all similar ages to mine. It's important to mention that I do make significantly more money compared to them, as I have a high position working in software development, and the friend in the title (who I'll call Anna to avoid confusion) works in a field that's hard to progress in and not high-paying as is. With that being said, I set a goal for myself to find something I can purchase as a "keep going" gift for my birthdays, that also doubles as investment, and decided diamond jewellery is the least voletile asset.

The actual situation occured a couple of weeks back, my mother unexpectedly had a chronic condition flare up again and I had to leave the city for 2 days. I couldn't take my 2 cats with me as it was on such short notice, so I asked Anna to come by once or twice a day to feed them and clean up the litterboxes if needed. I gave her more than enough gas money and a key, and she agreed. My mom was thankfully fine and the night before my trip back a mutual friend of ours, who isn't apart of the aforementioned friend group, texted me a picture from Annas private story where she's wearing a Graff necklace i bought earlier this year. I knew it was mine, considering the necklace isn't available to purchase right now and it was highly expensive even for me. I kept calling Anna but she wouldn't return any of my calls, so in a fit of panic I contacted the police department in our city to report a stolen item and told them I just needed the item back, gave them our information and her location, and a description of what the necklace looks like. Sure enough, about an hour after the phone call I had a million messages and missed calls from our friends asking me what I had done and why Anna is in custody.

I came to the police station at around 6 am after a 4 hour drive and gathering the paperwork of the purchase to prove the necklace is mine. Told them I won't press charges and thanked them. Anna was released from custody and looked like she just about wanted to bury herself in the ground. I told her what she did was beyond out of line and that if she wanted to borrow it, even for a night, I deserve the courtesy to be asked. Since then I've been exiled from our group, with our ex friends calling me a stuck up bitch who's piece of jewellery is worth more than friendship. I feel as if I was semi-justified for doing what I did because besides her going behind my back, if something HAD happened to the necklace Anna would have no way to repay me, but I feel like I owe her an apology for how it played out.

A quick edit: People have suggested that I add this info, but I do have a case where I keep most of my jewellery that is accessed by a key i keep in my desk. This is one of the only times I didn't take the key with me as I was in a rush.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Equivalent-Tale1613 on 2023-12-31 01:57:18+00:00.

My fianceé is very sensitive to anything about hygiene or body image so no matter how tactfully mention bad breath or body odor, she'll break down crying about how I must think she's disgusting. Despite this, she only brishes her teeth or showers maybe once every two weeks.

Over the past few years I've asked at random times if she's planning to shower or brush her teeth (without mentioning she should). Sometimes she says she'll do it later, often she says it's boring and she doesn't want to.

I love her to death, but this hygiene thing might be the death of me.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ThrowRa99001 on 2023-12-31 02:18:34+00:00.

Throwaway account for at least some privacy. I'll start this off by saying that I don't think I overreacted but I lost my whole friendgroup over this, so I might be missing something. I had a friendgroup of 5+ girls all similar ages to mine. It's important to mention that I do make significantly more money compared to them, as I have a high position working in software development, and the friend in the title (who I'll call Anna to avoid confusion) works in a field that's hard to progress in and not high-paying as is. With that being said, I set a goal for myself to find something I can purchase as a "keep going" gift for my birthdays, that also doubles as investment, and decided diamond jewellery is the least voletile asset.

The actual situation occured a couple of weeks back, my mother unexpectedly had a chronic condition flare up again and I had to leave the city for 2 days. I couldn't take my 2 cats with me as it was on such short notice, so I asked Anna to come by once or twice a day to feed them and clean up the litterboxes if needed. I gave her more than enough gas money and a key, and she agreed. My mom was thankfully fine and the night before my trip back a mutual friend of ours, who isn't apart of the aforementioned friend group, texted me a picture from Annas private story where she's wearing a Graff necklace i bought earlier this year. I knew it was mine, considering the necklace isn't available to purchase right now and it was highly expensive even for me. I kept calling Anna but she wouldn't return any of my calls, so in a fit of panic I contacted the police department in our city to report a stolen item and told them I just needed the item back, gave them our information and her location, and a description of what the necklace looks like. Sure enough, about an hour after the phone call I had a million messages and missed calls from our friends asking me what I had done and why Anna is in custody.

I came to the police station at around 6 am after a 4 hour drive and gathering the paperwork of the purchase to prove the necklace is mine. Told them I won't press charges and thanked them. Anna was released from custody and looked like she just about wanted to bury herself in the ground. I told her what she did was beyond out of line and that if she wanted to borrow it, even for a night, I deserve the courtesy to be asked. Since then I've been exiled from our group, with our ex friends calling me a stuck up bitch who's piece of jewellery is worth more than friendship. I feel as if I was semi-justified for doing what I did because besides her going behind my back, if something HAD happened to the necklace Anna would have no way to repay me, but I feel like I owe her an apology for how it played out.

A quick edit: People have suggested that I add this info, but I do have a case where I keep most of my jewellery that is accessed by a key i keep in my desk. This is one of the only times I didn't take the key with me as I was in a rush.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/woman40 on 2023-12-31 01:40:46+00:00.

So my (16f) step daughter has had her friend over for 4 days. I wasn’t even consulted about the length of her stay in the first place. I asked my husband on the third day, when is she going home? He said tomorrow maybe I don’t know. So the 4th day comes around and I asked him again. He says I don’t know I will have to ask my daughter. I just simply state to him that I would like her to go now it’s been 4 days. I feel like it’s been a long enough stay and that she should go. He said that it’s up to his daughter when she leaves. I said no it is up to us the parents. So he leaves to the garage and i go about my day. He comes back in less than 5 minutes to argue with me about it. I just say I’ve had enough of the visit and that 4 days is enough. We argue for like 5 minutes and he leaves for at least 2-2.5 hours. So I out for a walk in the conservation area near our home and he comes to find me to tell me that the girl over heard our conversation and left in a taxi when his daughter got home from work. Both of my step daughters have been going back and forth to work for at least 3 of the days that the friend has been here. So now my husband won’t have anything to do with me.