Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Altyrmadiken on 2023-12-30 02:27:13+00:00.

Long story short we ordered takeout from a local Asian restaurant. They do hibachi, mostly Japanese, but they have some Chinese dishes in their menu too.

So I called and asked if I could do their Lo Mein, and they said yes. I saw they had an extra chicken option, and an extra sauce option. I asked for both but the man I spoke to argued, complaintively, that there was “lots” of chicken and more sauce would make it soupy. I suggested that I prefer my Lo Mein saucy, to the point that I should be able to spin a fork or chopsticks and not pull up more than the noodles I’d touched - maybe not authentic idk, but it’s what I grew up on.

He sort of seemed upset at the idea that the base dish wouldn’t be correct, so I relented. House style is fine, then.

I also ordered crab rangoons, and my partner asked me to see if they did Kung Pao. I asked if they did Kung Pao, and he got kind of… weird? He laughed, maybe awkwardly, and said “this isn’t a Japanese dish, I don’t even know what it is, no.” Ok, strike that one we’ll stick with what we ordered.

Anyway I go to pick it up and suddenly he starts complaining to me, saying that it’s rude to ask if they carry Chinese food, and that it’s not polite to ask for modifications. I said it was on the menu, and I didn’t think it was a big deal, and that they had other Chinese options so I was just curious. He doubled down and said they didn’t carry Chinese food and that I was either mistaken or trying to cause trouble.

I was done. I just opened my package of Lo Mein, pointed out that it’s a Chinese dish, that it had very little chicken (small stringy pieces, maybe 3 visible at the top, and a fork turn showed no treasure trove hidden) and that it all moved together and wasn’t very saucy.

I just said thanks, but no, and left (to myself, I admit I didn’t say it out loud I just turned and left). He followed me out and told me I had to pay, and I said that I wasn’t taking it with me and he should have listened to what I wanted the first time, and maybe not gone off about me asking about a dish.

I didn’t pay, but I didn’t take the food. My husband who was there when I called doesn’t think I’m in the wrong, but our friend who showed up thinks I should have paid and just never gone back, even if I didn’t like the way the food looked. To me, I think, if I’d have sent back the food sitting down there, I don’t see a reason to pay for it if I’m not sitting there.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ThrowRA_crochet88 on 2023-12-30 02:00:24+00:00.

I (18f) am autistic and just recently diagnosed in March. Since then I have been making it clear to my family that change really throws me off and for holidays if things aren't going to go as they usually do, I need to be told well in advance. It can be very upsetting for me going into a situation I haven't been in before and I need some time to mentally prepare myself.

In my family, on New Years Eve we all go over to my grandma's house, eat KFC and play cards until the ball drop at midnight (a simple tradition, but it's important to me). I was expecting this to remain this way this year as no one mentioned anything changing, and as of writing this post, New Years Eve is in 2 days.

Well, last night I receive a text from my sister asking if I wanted pizza from one place or another. I respond I don't mind, and that was all, I figured she meant tonight (day im writing this) since we are having pizza for dinner.

Today my mom texts me asking if I'm having pizza for dinner. I respond with yea, I told my sister I was yesterday. My mom tells me that it's for new years Eve. I'm super confused at this point, so I just say, no, new years Eve is KFC. Always has been. So I walk out of my room to talk to my mom in person, whos on the phone with my sister.

My sister begins shouting at me over the phone and saying that everyone decided on pizza for dinner on Christmas after I left early and so when she texted me asking about pizza I should have known she meant New Years Eve. I was like, what? No, you never mentioned a day, and if you know we're having pizza the next day you should have specified.

Now my mom and sister are very upset with me and I'm currently holding myself back from panicking. I know it seems like a nonissue, but I've made it clear to my family how important holiday tradition is to me and that if things are changing I'd like to be told so I can prepare. I've always had a hard time adapting to change and, I am working on it in therapy, but I'm not quite there yet.

I just wish my family was more sensitive and didn't just assume I know everything. My sister won't come home because she doesn't want to deal with a "whiny bratty bitch" like me. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Dinosaurs_go_meow on 2023-12-30 16:30:49+00:00.

My boyfriend (19M) and I (19F) were out with two of my own friends for an anime convention earlier on. Me, my friend and her boyfriend were all dressed in cosplay for the event as we enjoyed to cosplay during our free time together. After the event, my friend had suggested to take a simple photoshoot as it had been awhile since we’ve cosplayed together as a group. I agreed to it and my boyfriend was also okay with the idea so we headed out to a proper venue for a photoshoot.

During the photoshoot , my friend’s boyfriend was trying out different ways to take our pictures. One of which was trying out the “Panorama” feature on his phone. I agreed to be the one he tries this method on and when we took a look at the results, we all bursted into a fit of laughter. It was genuinely a silly and innocent joke and I was in on laughing at how ridiculous I looked. The panorama had warped my image into looking like a default Roblox character.

My boyfriend then asked if he could have the picture for himself on his phone. Initially, I thought it would be something he kept to himself as some sort of silly inside joke, so I agreed for it to be sent. I would have never agreed to it if what happened next didn’t occur at all.

When it was my friend’s boyfriend turn to take pictures, I was standing next to my boyfriend when I saw my picture in a private chat with one of his own friends. At that time, I didn’t think to tell him what he did because I felt that it was funny, but after much thought, I did not like that he had shared images of me without my knowledge.

After the day had ended, I decided to approach him with the situation and told him that I did not like how he was willing to act on sending pictures of me to his friends without my consent to which he responded with “I just thought it was funny”. I explained to him that I felt that it was not fair of him to be doing that as he himself had expressed how he would prefer if I consulted him on the pictures I post or send to others. I then asked him if he liked that I was passed around since he likes to do anything he pleases with my photos. He was taken aback and asked where the relation was and I explained to him again why I felt like he was breaching my trust for him.

He apologised and said he wouldn’t do it again, but mentioned that I also did something like this a few days ago when I texted my friend that he was crying over a bad haircut he had. I had told him my intentions sending that message was not to ridicule him but to ask for advice instead as I was unsure on how to console him at that situation. He still believes what I did was as bad as what he did today and I can’t help but get hurt about it. AITAH?

Edit: hey guys, I’ve realised what my mistakes were with regards to the situation and I’ve brought it up to my boyfriend with how I reacted. He mentions that none of it was with ill intentions and that he just wanted to share fond memories with his close friends about his own girlfriend. He understands about how he didn’t respect the boundaries set prior to the situation and he apologised for his actions. I’ve also told him how my behaviour was impulsive and I did not mean to warrant distaste for my perspectives of the situation. I apologised for my mistakes and I shared that I would love to communicate things better with him in the future.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/AlterEgo1227 on 2023-12-30 21:49:48+00:00.

In June, our child’s best friend’s mother experienced domestic violence from her mom and stepdad with whom they were living. My husband offered them a place to stay (and he had my full support). We are very private people who do not invite many who we haven’t known for years inside our home, much less have them live with us.

They have been with us for 6 months now, and it is wearing thin. They pay roughly $320 a month in “rent”. This gives them the room they share with my youngest (the girls are in bunk beds and mom’s on a mattress) and utilities. We provide 90-95% of the household items (toilet paper, cleaning products, household necessities from dry cooking goods to hand soap). We cook 3 nights a week and she cooks 2.

We left on a trip (not too far) and she invited her ex who is her daughter’s father over. Now, her father has been in name only for maybe 5 out of her 7 years and has only reappeared when mom was going after child support.

There has been other drama involved with paranoid accusations thrown at my husband and my son, but those are tangental.

We realized (due to our front door camera) and commented on not liking to have people we don’t know over when we’re not home.

My issue was that she didn’t even tell us; my husband’s issue is that we weren’t there. Either way, it resulted in her telling us this makes her feel less like this is her home, and she shouldn’t have to ask or even tell us when she’s inviting people over when we’re not there.

Are we the assholes for expecting her to minimally tell us (preferring she only have people over that we know when we aren’t home) or that she has them over when we are home?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/throwawayl1l1l1 on 2023-12-30 21:48:33+00:00.

My SIL (33f) was visiting us from out of town and staying with us (35m / 35f) for a week between Christmas and New Year. We were supposed to go out last night but I got into a silly fight with my wife so I stormed off and went home by myself. I won't get into the details of this argument, because I accept the bulk of the culpability for it and it's not the point of this AITA question. It is probably worth noting for context that there has been simmering tension between me and my wife lately, to the point she brought up if it would make sense for us to take time apart.

When I arrived home, I concluded it would be best for me to leave the apartment for the rest of SIL's stay, which had another 48 hours remaining as her flight could not be changed. We're in a 1BR NYC apartment (with SIL staying in our living room) so it's impossible not to be in each other's face all the time. I believed SIL would feel uncomfortable due to the tension and my continued presence would effectively force her out of our place, which I considered would be unfair to her. Besides, SIL is currently a grad student living off a student loan with a ridiculously high interest rate and she would be paying exorbitant hotel rates in NYC during New Year's Eve weekend, whereas I have enough credit card points to make the out-of-pocket expenses a minimal consideration.

Therefore, I texted my wife as follows:

"I'm leaving the house at 9pm and plan to return on Jan 1. Let's talk in person then. Your sister is welcome to stay until then."

At 8:45pm, I had finished packing my overnight bag when, to my surprise, my wife and SIL arrived at the apartment. SIL accused me of being extremely rude, taking particular umbrage with the last sentence of my text.

"Well, I said that out of consideration for you. I admit I am at fault for this fight with your sister, so I was merely offering to minimize the inconvenience to you, our guest, by my leaving instead," I responded.

SIL declared, "I'm an adult and you do not tell me whether to stay or leave!" With that, SIL grabbed her things and ventured off into the December night, a single woman with no plans in a city she is unfamiliar with, which is exactly what I feared and had tried to prevent.

My wife is now mad at me for giving SIL no option but to leave by saying she is welcome to stay. I'm baffled because it was intended to be anything but that.

AITA for this sentence? I could have handled the situation better overall but the sisters are convinced that my saying SIL is welcome to stay is the chief offense of all.

A second, related AITA question: After SIL exited, I wondered out aloud to my wife, "Well, should I at least offer to book your sister a hotel room?" But since SIL had left to make the point that she is an independent woman, I did not pursue this option further and now my wife is also angry about this.

AITA for not reaching out to SIL and offering to book her a hotel room?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/radhika1710 on 2023-12-30 17:20:53+00:00.

I am Indian housewife and I did something unimaginable today. My husband got a call from his colleague that they want to come to meet us, so we happily invited them for dinner. They said, they will come around 9 pm and we said okay.

I made moong dal ka halva, adraki gobhi matar, dal makhani, roti salad papad as usual. Got a call at 9 pm that still they will late and will depart from where they are at 10:30 pm, so my husband got a bit sad and said its okay. But at 9:30 again we got a call that they will depart at 10:00 and reach our home by 11:00 p.m.

I lost it at this point, we already had our dinner, I started cleaning up as I was already tired. So I told my husband to tell them indirectly we are done for the day. And he reluctantly said called them and told he cannot attend them as he has urgent work call to attend.

I am here making this post, thinking is this the way I should have made my husband call them?

I am feeling guilty but really it was end of my patience and I am trying to justify my actions to myself because there is no one else to talk to.

edit:- so I think I didn't write a proper background. yes my husband wanted guests to come because today we did all chores together. In cooking I am way more efficient so I don't need help. Also he wanted guests to come late because he wanted them to realise how good was food.

Frankly when I wrote this post and also some replies i didn't know how this will get interpreted. I married my husband because even reluctantly he takes my side when I am right and corrects me when I am wrong as sometimes even as an adult I need help in decisions.

thank you all who replied. I feel better but I don't want to feel good by blaming my husband as it was totally on guests part.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/HiFromSpace51 on 2023-12-30 17:18:04+00:00.

So my daughter is 9 and has been generally good with food. She usually eats everything.

A few weeks ago my wife was traveling for work and I had a family emergency back in my home country so suddenly we needed someone to look after our daughter Chloe for about a week, and my wife's brother Owen (30M) volunteered and saved the day.

Owen is a foodie and to be fair makes delicious food but he's also quite picky and maybe a bit judgemental of food that isn't done properly or isn't fancy enough. This isn't usually an issue though.

Looks like during this time Chloe and Owen had the time of their lives because my daughter was quite happy in the end, and well, we learned about the surprises later on. Apparently Owen fed her some really fancy food and kind of changed her perspective about a lot of the food we typically eat.

I learned this the hard way, when Chloe asked for a grilled cheese and then didn't eat what I made her (typical American style which she always liked), wanted it the way her uncle Owen made it. I called Owen for the recipe but goodness me, I had to buy like 10 new ingredients, several types of cheese, a kind of bread that I don't have or can't make, make fresh Bechamel sauce or whatever it's called, etc... like I don't have time to do any of these and they are expensive. I did give this a try and my daughter did say it was nice but not as good as he uncle Owen's.

This keeps on happening now. Pretty much everything me or my wife make, or when we order Pizza, she says this is not good and wants it the way Owen does it. We then call Owen for the recipe and everything is complex, expensive, needs equipment we don't have and time consuming.

Owen hosted Christmas dinner and Chloe asked to go there early to help her uncle and well, the day after that said that is how we should make food!

In my kind of frustration I called Owen and told him he kind of made our lives a lot more difficult. We never had trouble with food before and now it's the number one issue. He suggested that maybe we can expand our horizons and it's good for Chloe too to experience a wider range of food choices instead of complaining to her person who gives good food to Chloe.

My wife agrees that it's a lot more difficult now but says it was kind of an asshole thing to complain to Owen when he was doing us a favor and he hasn't done anything except give Chloe good and healthy food. From my perspective it was just not necessary for a 9 year old to turn into Gordon Ramsay and make our lives a lot more complicated.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Emergency-Mall-8692 on 2023-12-30 15:54:21+00:00.

Hi I (white mid 30’s F) have a 7 year old son. I don’t speak Spanish. I don’t remember exactly how but a while ago he learned to say hi in Spanish. He also learned to say “Aloha” and found it fascinating that it sounds so similar to “Hola.” He is very proud of his new bilingual greeting skills. When our in public, shopping or at restaurants, he frequently greets people in Spanish instead of English to show off.

Last week, we were out shopping. I was distracted searching the shelf for a particular item when another mom and boy about the same age, walked into the aisle. I didn’t realize it at the time but the other family was speaking Spanish. My son however definitely noticed and said, “Hola” to the other boy. The boy looked at my son with disgust and said, “That’s not funny.” Then quickly walked away.

I understand how the other boy could have perceived this as mocking but I honestly don’t believe that was my sons intention. I don’t want to be rude or offensive or teach my son to be unintentionally. I have been feeling guilty about it ever since. I’m a bit nerospicy and have difficulty with social situations like this. So AITAH?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Rare_Funny_4448 on 2023-12-30 21:28:55+00:00.

For a small recap I have a hatred for my grandmother she trash-talked my motherto, gave me uncountable trauma, made me insecure, etc. Same with my aunt she is spoil irespinble child who can't even take care of her child. My grandma, aunt, and grandpa are abroad in Poland (we are from Georgia) so I lost my train ticket I told my grandmother and she told me that how I go In the USA if I couldn't even hold the train ticket (I had been working so hard to go in America only three weeks) I told her that it is a very hash thing to say and it hurt me nothing disrespectful just that I also said it is same to tell me that I won't success for what work hard. I'm a very sensitive person and sometimes I get things at heart. We were in a public place my grandma started crying telling me that I was a monster and when I went home I was gonna tell my parents and I would have family drama etc my aunt said I was a disgrace and it was her fault that she brought me here so long story short they made me a monster. When they finally calm down I messaged my friend for comfort they saw me I was texting and they whispered look she is already grossing about us I wasn't I wanted comfort so I was texting my friend sadly he didn't answered me. Then I was left alone with my grandpa who was quit and didnt say anything I just couldn't hold my tears and started crying then my grandpa told me it was embersing and I needed to stop that wasn't embersing when they screamed at me??? when we come home I didn't told my parents word bc I felt obligeided and didn't want family drama. I'm at therapy now I'm not telling them bc I'm scared they will make fun of me. Am I the asshole for telling my parent what happened???

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Brka_pomorac on 2023-12-30 21:22:10+00:00.

So little bit of background first. I'm 21m and I'm an only child. I went to high school in another city for 4y and now I'm in 3rd year of Uni in another country I haven't lived with them for the last 7 years. And I come home for a few days for holidays.

So I forgot to wish Christmas to some people who helped us much when I went to Uni, and that triggered a fight where they started yelling at me about how they helped us how I'm an egoist, and how selfish I'm. I started yelling back and told them I was sorry and I knew I f***** up but I didn't know why reacted like that and why they were taking it out on me and yelling ( I in a moment used a swear word which has no equivalent in English). Then they told me to f*** off to my room since then we barely spoke to each other till this afternoon.

They sat me down and started to talk about how I disappointed them and how they didn't raise me like that, how I had grown into a selfish only self-loving brat. How they accepted my wish that we don't need to call each other every day even though they miss me. How I didn't reach out to relatives to go and visit them. How they can't have a conversation with me without me having some reaction when they ask me something (I don't like to talk about others' lives, choices... And I don't like to talk over and over on same themes) ( I was ignored as a child, mom was mostly on her phone, and when I would ask something she wouldn't pay attention to me or just told me to give her some peace). They told me I'm calling them only when I have problems or when I'm feeling like it ( even tho I told them many times to call me if they feel the need to). My dad told me he does not see our family relations will being good if I go on like that. Even told me that I would not be a good father and that he sees I won't give a f*** for my kids.

I don't know it anymore all my friends think I'm kind and selfless, I try to help people. I found a job to make it easier for my parents so they don't need to send me money all of the time. I started working at a local bar where aim surrounded by people some bad people like regulars that are alcoholics, junkies, or just bad people, and I want some time to be just alone and away from people.

I love my parents more than anything but I don't know I think I feel like I have grown distant from them because of stuff that happened before. I was punished and yelled at for every grade lower than 4 ( B ). Found them both texts with other people ( I never told a word), lived one year only with mom when my dad went to work in another country ( he wanted to leave us). Then he was cheating on her ( later I learned he went to his mistress even on my 18th birthday). He drank and lost his license for one year when police caught him one time. They have been separated for almost one year and I need to balance between them while in the most difficult year in Uni.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/JadeAnonymous on 2023-12-30 21:21:28+00:00.

AITA For using a disabled toilet

I (16F) was at the shopping centre with my bf and I had really bad cramps even though I wasn't on my period, I assumed I was pregnant but my bf said maybe I need the toilet, regardless of me being stubborn we went.

When I got there there was a line I assumed was for the female toilet so I got out my key and went to the disabled one, untill a lady stopped me and said someone was in there and the cue was for the disabled toilets because the women's was flooded. I was quite annoyed that's what the shopping centre decided to do in that situation because it makes an inconvenience for people who actually need the disabled toilets.

I looked at her and said how it wasn't my fault I didn't know as they were standing Infront of the women's toilets, she gave a look at me and just turned around proceeding to talk to her friend and give me dirty looks every now and then, I asked if I could go next and she said no there's a line, I was stunned as that toilet isn't one for everyone and is prioritized for people with disabilities, I just took a step back and waited in the cue silently regardless of my cramps and waited.

I have a few disabilities preventing me doing things alone and also going the the toilet before wetting myself or getting pains in my bladder and bowels. I was so confused why the lady gave me a snarky look after, she herself had a walking stick but it wasn't necessary for the rude look, I didn't know they was in line for that toilet, I have a sunflower lanyard because my disability isn't visible, I also have a hard time reading situations right due to other learning disabilities.

I looked at my bf and he was confused too, no one would let us Infront or anything after seeing what happened we had to go to the back of the cue, I find it unfair since I am some what entitled to use that toilet first, I don't like that word but it's all I can think of. When it was my time to go my pain kicked in again and it made it hard for me to even move so I was really annoyed at this point since a lady even cut Infront and no one stopped her, having though stopping me.

Summing up to say I took my time and made the most of it after being put in pain and ignored of my disability, but AITA for going Infront of the cue and using my key for MY disability.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/unplannedtrip on 2023-12-30 21:20:29+00:00.

My (19f) family is going to Italy in the spring. Due to conflicting schedules, I will be leaving 5 days before them and coming home 4 days after they arrive. My sister (15) was supposed to fly out with me and was going to go home with our parents but they take forever to do anything.

I was looking for flights and told my parents I needed an exact date that they plan on leaving so I could book the flights. They said they’ll get back to me. I asked again and they still didn’t know. I told my mom that I was booking my flight and they can do theirs later. They figured out the dates after but the website I booked my flight on won’t let me get the flight for my sister because she’s not an adult so somebody’s gonna have to call and figure that out.

Then I started talking about hotels. I found some that were a decent price so I showed my mom and she said it’s a lot of money so we have to show my dad and have him approve. The problem with that is that he likes to wait until the last minute to get a hotel. He once booked a hotel when we were in the car driving to that vacation.

After waiting a few days I booked my own hotel and told my parents that I got my own place and they can figure their own shit out. Now they’re saying I’m being impatient, controlling, and trying to ruin the trip.

AITA for telling them to figure their own shit out and taking care of myself?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Willing_Teacher1815 on 2023-12-30 21:05:38+00:00.

Last night, I (M36) had dinner with some friends, Jon (M39), Rob (M37), and Elliot (M37). Rob was complaining to us about his relationship troubles with his recently wed wife, Kayla (F35).

Rob and Kayla have a complicated past, but I'll do my best to summarize. They met and started dating about a bit more than a decade ago. After about two years of dating, Kayla dumped Rob, as she thought they weren't a good match. Rob was devastated so he didn't really pursue any relationships after that point aside from a few short flings.

Rob and Kayla met again earlier this year after Kayla divorced her husband. After chatting with Rob for a few months, they got married, and she along with her two kids (M7 and F5) moved in with Rob. Trust me, this all seemed rushed to me and my other friends, but Rob wasn't having any of it, as according to him, Kayla the kids are his pride and joy and he loves them more than anything.

Now, after being married for a few months, Rob seems a little disillusioned with the relationship. He says he loves Kayla and the kids with all his heart, but working full-time, being a husband, and father exhausts him. This reached a boiling point. He told us about how the day before yesterday, he and Kayla had an argument. She thought he didn't do enough around the house. He argued that he was exhausted from work, playing with the kids and helping them with their homework, etc. They argued but long story short, it ended with him getting sentenced to the couch.

Rob was fuming, but my other friends and I told him that the only way to get off the couch was by apologizing and admitting fault. My other friends agreed with me since we've all been there. He said that he wanted to wait and see if Kayla would attempt to communicate first, but I told him that was futile. When he insisted he'd wait, I laughed and told him it was useless. Rob seemed offended and said I was an asshole for "making light of his situation." Despite all this, Rob was somewhat happy since he was "relieved" that Kayla felt comfortable enough with dishing out the sentence. But nonetheless, he was pissed with it.

The night ended shortly afterward. When I got home, my wife wasn't impressed that I laughed at him being sent to the couch. She said it was different for Rob compared to myself and my other friends since he and Kayla's relationship is more "complex". She said that it was rude, but I honestly don't see it considering how Rob got himself into this mess and can easily get himself out of it.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Content_Blueberry128 on 2023-12-30 20:59:14+00:00.

My husband (48m) and I (47f) have been together for 24 years and have 3 kids (15,18,21) together. His parents have always been difficult and his mother is a drama queen and gossip. A few years ago my husband had to have an emergency surgery and while I ran home to take care of the kids, his mother showed up and acted the fool and got banned from the hospital. I was blamed even though I wasn’t there. She of course told everyone she knew about her horrible DIL and I decided I’d had enough and quit talking to her. She then sent horrible texts to the kids telling them they are “evil like your mother” and how awful we all are. We (the kids and I) cut off all contact but my husband still sees her for his and her birthday and Christmas. He wants me to “let her apologize” but I’m much happier having no contact and our kids get angry with him whenever he mentions her. AITA here? Do I owe her the opportunity to apologize? AITA for being upset that my husband isn’t mad at her about her treatment of the kids and I?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/jme_87 on 2023-12-30 20:48:58+00:00.

A little backstory for context; about 18 months ago me, my partner and our 2 kids (4 & 2) moved into her Dads house with the view to saving a deposit for a house. Her Dad works from home Mon - Fri, after he finishes work he tends to stay upstairs in his own room until the kids have been put to bed around 7ish, he'll then come downstairs and put whatever he wants to watch on the TV until 10:00 - 10:30ish, this happens almost every night.

My partner and I have argued about it more than once as I feel it's quite rude and inconsiderate of both my partner and I for him to do this. He doesn't ask either of us if we'd be interested in what he's thinking of watching, doesn't ask if there's anything we'd like to watch or he'll occasionally ask if we've seen something he thought was good, when we say no he then puts it on, usually without asking if we actually want to watch it.

My partner says I'm being unreasonable and I could just do something else like read a book, draw, paint etc because it's his house, but honestly sometimes I just want to watch TV (maybe a new movie or Netflix series is out)

Additionally, he has a TV in his own room which has all the channels available just like the TV in the living room, it's also about the same size

Edit to add: we tried putting a TV in our own room, the WiFi signal isn't strong enough to load or play apps such as Netflix, and there's nowhere for a hardwire connection to be put in.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Some_Head8123 on 2023-12-30 20:48:46+00:00.

Am I the asshole because my grandmother(63F)and I(17F)have been living together for a year now. And without my knowledge decides to move her ex boyfriend in whom when i was younger would argue all the time with her and bicker at the smallest things. I often enjoy coming home to no one being there because it’s peaceful and school is overwhelming in itself. But now there’s a man i’m not 100% comfortable with there. I just think that it’s very upsetting that this wasn’t talked about first..

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Cultural-Lemon-3600 on 2023-12-30 20:35:01+00:00.

Hello, I work so my can wife stay at home. I don’t make a crazy amount of money of money but we still manage to make it work so she can stay at home with our 2 year old and not pay for daycare. Something ive noticed since we’ve been together and since we’ve had a kid that things around our house quite often fall into disarray. I work a lot of hours and my schedule is pretty inconsistent. But when I come home I can see a lot of the stuff that was meant to be picked up and cleaned is not and is usually a lot worse at times. I ask countless times when I’m away to be productive and get some of the stuff cleaned up around the house. I never expect her to do it all but to take small chunks so it doesn’t get overwhelming. It’s just when it comes to my days off. That she says that we need to clean the house. I have no problem taking some time out of my day to clean. However It’s an all day affair. Instead of spending time with my wife and kid doing something enjoyable with dad home for the day. It’s non stop till it’s either too late to usually do anything else. It frustrates me to no end that the time I have with my family is often spent cleaning. We’ve gotten multiple arguments about it and I always seem to be the bad guy for wanting more done with upkeep while I’m away at work. I don’t make her make me food I cook for myself for work. That’s the few things I ask is to take care of the kid and the house but am I the asshole here asking for that?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/PuzzleheadedFig921 on 2023-12-30 20:34:40+00:00.

I (31F) have been married to my husband (33M) for two years. MIL is (70F) and has recently been diagnosed with dementia.

Initially husband wanted us to become MIl carers which I quickly vetoed. After a lot of persuasion, I was able to convince my husband to put MIL into a nursing home.

My husband is MIL's only child so we are entirely responsible for what happens to her. Upon MIL's death, we were supposed to inherit £80,000 and a house that we would get around £150,000 from selling. However, Husband wants to spend it on nursing home fees.

The nursing home my husband wants to send MIL to would cost us £84,000 a year.

I had so many dreams of how my husband and I would spend our inheritance. I had planned of being able to go on an around-the-world trip with my husband. I had so many dreams and I feel heartbroken thinking of how our money is going to be wasted.

I am also getting stressed thinking of how much longer MIL could potentially live and what are we going to do when our inheritance has all been spent. I hate the thought of us having to spend all our money on MIL.

I explained to my husband that I didn't want to have to spend our inheritance on nursing home fees. My husband refused to listen to me or compromise. I explained that being a momma's boy isn't an attractive quality and that he needed to seriously rethink his life choices. My husband has been cold to me ever since.

AITA for not wanting to have to spend all of my and my husband's inheritance on MIL

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Few-Anything4422 on 2023-12-30 20:30:25+00:00.

I (42m) have four children: (18m, 16m, 5f, 3m), this is about my 16 year old son. My two eldest have a different mother than my youngest two. I divorced my ex wife 8 years ago mainly due to her addiction issues. I couldn’t deal with all the relapses and the strain on our relationship. She sadly passed away July of this year, which was obviously very difficult for my two eldest sons. My 18 year old left for college shortly after which I think really helped him deal with the grief.

My youngest however is still in high school, and he was very close to his mother. He also decided to live with her after the divorce and visit me and the rest of his siblings on weekends. However once his mother passed he came to live with us again, which caused for a lot of tension and my wife didn’t feel safe having my son around her and her children because he had started smoking a lot of weed after his mother passed away.

He knew exactly where she kept her stash of weed and pills so it wasn’t long before he started abusing them just as she did, he was 15 at the time. I understand how traumatic his mother’s death was, especially since he was the one who found her. And my wife and I have tried many times to get him off the drugs but to no luck.

Two months ago was the final straw when he came home at 5am, covered in blood and vomit, high out of his mind. He woke the whole house up with his stumbling and knocking over furniture, including my youngest who started crying. We sent him off to a program the following week.

I hate to say it but the house has been so peaceful while he was away. He is sober now and has finished his program, and has had some grief counselling. He says he’s excited to come back home and to go back to school, but honestly my wife and I just don’t want him to disrupt the peace again. I’ve been talking to his aunt (his mother’s sister) and she is willing to take him in. I haven’t told him about our concerns yet since i’m not sure yet, and I don’t want to unnecessarily upset him. I have very mixed feelings about this, ranging from feeling like it’s justified in order to protect our peace and especially my children’s peace, to feeling like an asshole.

Would I be the asshole if I didn’t let him live with us again?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/DistinctAd7978 on 2023-12-30 20:29:59+00:00.

I went shopping with my step mom today(Lets call her Nina). Little things like ramen and vegetables. As we were in the store I felt dizzy and my vision went slightly black. I asked Nina if I can get out to get some fresh air and come back then. She said ok. As i came back, once again i felt dizzy and my sight got blury. I asked her again if i can go out. She said ok but kinda angry. As i went back, I almost fell. She saw that and said:" Don't be so dramatic. Get up, you got to help me here." I tried to explain her, that I can't, because im dizzy. She said that i should wait outside. As we went back home, she said that she's angry that I just left her and came back like I wanted. She also told me that I wanted that Ramen, not her(?)*. I said that i was dizzy. But now, even my dad said that I could help Nina a little more. Now i wonder, am i the asshole for not helping my step mom?

*I don't know grammar, i only have goole assistant lol

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/gamergabby8 on 2023-12-30 20:28:23+00:00.

I (19f) have a dog named Collie (a 10 year old beagle terrier mix. And yes, she is named after the breed of dog). Collie has a tendency to have to mark her territory and stop frequently just to do this. It is very annoying due to the frequency of the territory marking and I often just tug her along when she does this, not to mention I do not like picking up after her, but I do it anyways.

Today, I took Collie for a walk as I needed to get of the house for a bit, so I decided to take her for a walk.

I was about halfway down the street from my house while on my way home when I hear a guy say "You just let your dog piss on my mailbox?" I turned around and said, "I'm sorry?" as I wanted to make sure I heard this guy right. He repeated himself, "You just let your dog piss on my mailbox?" I just froze there and instinctively replied, "Happy New Year!" as I could not tell if he was serious or being sarcastic. We stared at each other for a moment before he walked into his house, presumably annoyed about the situation.

Since I have high functioning ADHD, I took this to heart, and it bothered me for the remainder of my walk. I was fairly embarrassed, and I feel I think I go apologize, but at the same time I feel like I should just let it go as no real harm was done, AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Creepyleaf on 2023-12-30 20:15:12+00:00.

Found out I had a half sibling when I was 38. My dad was having an affair with her mom while my parents were still married (they separated when I was about 7). Also relevant, my dad died about a year before half sib contacted me.

My dad knew about her. No one else did. My mom had suspicions but of course my dad gaslit the shit out of her. When she contacted me, I let my mom know. I felt like this needed to be out in the open, and it also proved she was right.

We (half-sib & I) chat over text pretty irregularly. My brothers aren't in contact with the half-sib. Just me. She was in my city recently and we met up for the first time, which I didn't tell my mom about. My mom recently asked if I have heard from the half sibling and I said 'Yeah, I actually met up with her.' I told her we don't have much of a relationship, just some pleasantries every once in a while. My mom asked if I 'found out' who her mom is. I did not. I don't even want to go there. If I put myself in her shoes I think I would be pretty protective of my mom. I'm letting her (half sibling) steer that ship, and not prying. Which I said to my mom. Now my mom has asked if I can find out 'to give me some closure'. I don't want to. I feel like this is my dad's stupid mess and I'm sick of his poor choices putting me in uncomfortable situations! My mom never asks my brothers if they talk with our half sibling, and certainly doesn't ask them to get information for her.

AITA an asshole for gatekeeping information that could maybe bring my mom closure, after 40 years? She claims to be over it, but clearly isn't.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/lostinmissouri3 on 2023-12-30 20:04:26+00:00.

My husband and I live in Missouri. We drove 8hrs to visit my family for Christmas, we had planned to stay there until the 28th but had to leave on the 26th because hubby was asked to come in to work to fill in for someone on the 27th.

When I told my mom, she was visibly upset and accused me of not prioritizing family time. Now my sisters are texting me about how I upset mom and he could have just said no.

Now she's giving me the cold shoulder, and I'm starting to feel guilty. AITA for leaving early or was it just an unavoidable circumstance?

EDIT: Hubby could have said no, but he’s been working hard for a promotion and saying no would hurt his chances a lot. Plus his employer is fickle and there’s a chance it could endanger his employment in the long run.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Realistic-Tax-7753 on 2023-12-30 20:00:06+00:00.

I live Im a place for 3 years where I see on average 2-3 Cars a day parking using 2 park spaces, i always tried not being a jerk about it and whenever i didn't had space for me i just parked 200Meters away. 2weeks ago i bought a new car (i got a 2 months old kid that i need space to out in the back without damaging others Cars) and to avoid poeple slaming their Doors against my car i started to use more space and leave my wheel over the ( barely visible) line to prevent people to park to closely, so now i kinda use almost 2 spaces, I got a note and overheard a group talking about the "poorly" parked car (mine)... So am I an asshole for doing the same thing everyone did for the last 3 years ? Should i keep doing ir and wait 'till someone calls the cops and show the photos I took Over the years ? ps. During today I witnessed 5 other Cars parked 'like a boss' and no left notes ir cared about it on the same parking spot. (Bad English appologies for murdering grammar)

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/R3dscar3 on 2023-12-30 19:52:44+00:00.

So, first some back story my dad passed away over 2yrs ago now in 2021. My mom then decided after a good long wait to then try to start dating again. So she then made a dating profile on a site for people around her age in her 60s. She went on a few dates with different people then decided to be exclusive with this guy. We will call him Jerry. Jerry has had multiple businesses. All of them are successful. So he's been very involved in the corporate world for a long time ever since he was in his 20s. He is a very knowledgeable, respectful and all around good guy. He has a good heart. But he and my mom argue a lot about politics because well she is Republican he is Democratic and it is constant. So the breaking up has been thrown around quite a bit by my mom. So this in turn has made my mom feel some type of way about the relationship. so my mom started conversing with strangers on the Internet. She then ended up getting scammed multiple times. This has been going on for about half a year now or more, that I know of. She has lost over 60,000 dollars to these scammers, but keeps talking to them in secret because they give her a certain type of attention that Jerry doesn't. Also Jerry does not know about any of this happening. The scammers make my mom feel wanted. I have seen the messages to these people without my mom knowing. Fast forward now to a week before Christmas I then find out that my brother unfortunately has passed away while out of town for work. His heart gave out. So we then had to figure out how to get his truck, his trailer he had for work and his other belongings back here to our city. It's a 4 1/2hr drive to where his stuff is. So Jerry volunteered to help go get it with my family which was very generous and kind of him. We said thank you many times, and even offered to give him something in return for the favor. But he declined to take anything for helping us. Then the following weekend was the service for my brother Jerry came and gave his condolences to me along with my family. Then came Christmas the next weekend. Me, my mom Jerry, my sister and all her kids were at my moms exchanging gifts. My mom and Jerry exchanged gifts already amongst themselves. So me and my sister went together on a gift for my mom and Jerry. It was 2 tickets to a country concert. That my mom really wants to go to, but Jerry doesn't like country music. He said he will not go at all so my mom needs to find someone else to go with. After everyone else's gifts were exchanged we were then told by my mom that Jerry is upset about not getting a gift from any of us for Christmas and he feels like he doesn't belong in our family because of it. He didn't get anyone but my mom gifts and she in turn got him gifts. Also i found out yesterday that he is still bringing up not getting a Christmas gift from any of us to my Mom and it caused an argument. So AITA for not caring or getting him a gift for Christmas?