Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ThrowRANanette75 on 2023-12-30 09:14:25+00:00.

I'm Emma [Female, 49 years old] this post is about my daughter Viky, 27, and her boyfriend Mike, 35 years old.

They have been dating together for 8 years, they work but each one lives at their parents' house due to their financial situation.

Mike lost money investing in a food business [He had just opened it when the pandemic started] and my daughter Viky has school debts because she is studying law at university [She has just entered, it is a fairly expensive school, but she is doing well]

They already technically behave like husband and wife, sometimes they sleep at each other's houses because they don't have time to see each other and 4 months ago, Viky suffered a spontaneous abortion at 5 weeks of pregnancy [Not even Viky knew she was pregnant] and at that time At that time she did not have insurance, because she had lost her job and the school does not offer health insurance, so they could not treat her at the hospital where I work [I am a nurse] and we had to drive to the other one in the city to be treated [She was in bed for a week] so as a result of that situation I asked Mike to add it to his health insurance, to which he told me that he would talk about it with my daughter and they both accepted, and now buy health insurance.

A few days ago, while we were talking about organizing the Christmas meal, I told my daughter that I hoped that next year she would be married to Mike, both in the church and in civil law. Viky got quite angry, but I told her that there is no perfect time and that both of them, since they work, could make a budget...he ignored me.

A few hours ago while we were walking she was looking at some rings in a jewelry store [She likes to admire silver jewelry since she was little and is starting a collection of rings] I asked her if she was looking at wedding rings to which she made a bad face at me and walked out of the jewelry.

I think that she should give herself respect in the relationship, that my son-in-law Mike is afraid of commitment and both of them should now look in them future.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/StrengthShot6415 on 2023-12-30 09:10:53+00:00.

Throwaway because he knows my real username. Long-time lurker, first-time poster but situations like this keep happening with my husband, and I’m trying to keep a reality check as to whether I’m reading these situations accurately as I’m starting to feel crazy.

We have two children - a 10M baby and daughter, 5F.

Last night before bed we agreed that I would cover night wakes for the baby which I do every night, and that Husband would get up with the kids in the morning and let me sleep in. I have my period and am tired at the start, crampy and really needed the extra sleep.

We have been staying with his family for Christmas and have been here eight days, and I have gotten up with the baby in the night and then with the kids every morning while he has slept in until 9-10am every morning. His family do not come help me with the kids during this time either so it’s very much just me and the kids (they do help later in the day a great deal) which is absolutely fine with me.

I haven’t complained once - simply asked if I could sleep in one morning when my period was at its worst.

This morning rolls around and Husband was trying anything to get out of letting me sleep in and hasn’t stopped snapping at everyone. Snapped at our daughter when she came in at 7am so not too early to wake by any means, snapped at her when our son then started rustling to get up even though again 7am is a great wake time for them.

Husband then started making passive aggressive comments towards me that he only slept three hours.

It very much felt like he was trying to get me to say oh you stay in bed and I’ll get up with the kids, but I’ve done that everyday and likely will do it for the rest of this trip as well and that’s often after getting up in the night with the baby.

During my sleeping in time, in the space of the not even three hours that I’ve slept in, he has barged in three times to ask me various questions and then snaps at me for answering saying I’m “interrupting” and to “stop questioning” him.

I’m about to get up now and I’m sure he will be “shocked” I’m not taking advantage of my day to sleep in but when someone has come in multiple times and I know he will have been snapping at our daughter this whole time, it becomes difficult to get back to sleep.

AITA??

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Creative-Stage-5649 on 2023-12-29 20:16:11+00:00.

I (17) came out as non-binary in February of this year. No one had any issues with it whatsoever, except for my dad (38). He never said anything to me about it because we barely spoke then due to other issues we had with each other. He's heavily Christian and I'm an atheist, so we really don't see eye to eye on most subjects. Befeore Christmas, I asked him if I could come over during my Christmas break. He said he would call me, but he never did. Earlier today, I ended up calling him myself and we talked for 2 minutes. He said that he isn't going to explain the whole pronouns thing to my siblings, which I'm fine with. My pronouns are they/them but honestly I don't care if I'm refered to with she/her pronouns because most people in my family didn't grow up like that so they aren't too educated.

What got me is that my dad said "Well, on your birth certificate, your name is [deadname], so that's what we're going to call you. We have wishes that you need to respect, and we'll respect yours. Once you get your name LEGALLY changed, then we'll maybe talk about calling you it." I was quiet for the rest of the call because I started crying. He said that once I figure out what I want to say, I should call him back. I don't understand how exactly he's going to "respect my wishes" since my only wish is for him to not be transphobic towards me. I really don't know if I want to go anymore because of this. I don't want to be called my deadname all weekend, but I also want to see my stepmom and siblings. I'm just so lost because I've tried so hard to rebuild my relationship with my dad just for it to crumble because of our differences. I asked my partner and friends about it, and they said they think I shouldn't go. My sister, who is most likely the only one who actually calls me by my prefered name, said that if I do end up going, she'll defend me. If I don't go, she understands because she doesn't have the best relationship with our dad either.

So, WIBTA if I called him and said I didn't want to go? Should I tell him that I'll only go if he at least TRIES to call me by my prefered name? Or should I just suck it up and go anyways?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Pluffy_Tires1351 on 2023-12-30 06:32:48+00:00.

My dad and stepmom are currently camping RN and I have the house to myself, I naturally had a couple friends over. We were out most of the day but then came back to my place and got drunk before crashing for the night. I will admit the house was sorta trashed, but I did make sure to clean it and it looked good as new. I also have a stepsister that was at her dad's when I had my friend's over but said shed come by for dinner the following night.

She came over around 10 or 11AM? I can't really remember but she said she would stay till our parents got back. She was in her room unpacking stuff when she noticed a few empty beer cans and wasn't the happiest about my friends entering her room. She confronted me about it and I apologized and told her I didnt know but she was really mad at me for not "stating her room was off limits" and "acting as if I dont care my friends went into her room". I tried to explain that I didnt even know they went in but she wasn't having it and went on this whole tirade about how I have to be more "responsible" when I have friends over and how im being "rude" by letting them in her room.

(This is where I might be TA) I got kinda annoyed and said something like "Well its not like any of your stuff was even in there you were at your DADS" She got kinda pissy at what I said and told me to keep my "creepy" friends out of her room. I then got a call from my dad like an hour or 2 later saying that I can't have my friends over anymore. I tried to explain that it was an accident and its not like they went through any of her nothing, but he wasn't having it and said they aren't allowed over anymore.

I was pretty pissed that day and obviously dinner ended up not happening. But im curious what others think. AITA?

ETA:I just want to add my friends didnt know it was her room, they haven't really been over to my dad's house too much.

ETA:I am 17 and my stepsister is 19

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Pluffy_Tires1351 on 2023-12-30 06:32:48+00:00.

My dad and stepmom are currently camping RN and I have the house to myself, I naturally had a couple friends over. We were out most of the day but then came back to my place and got drunk before crashing for the night. I will admit the house was sorta trashed, but I did make sure to clean it and it looked good as new. I also have a stepsister that was at her dad's when I had my friend's over but said shed come by for dinner the following night.

She came over around 10 or 11AM? I can't really remember but she said she would stay till our parents got back. She was in her room unpacking stuff when she noticed a few empty beer cans and wasn't the happiest about my friends entering her room. She confronted me about it and I apologized and told her I didnt know but she was really mad at me for not "stating her room was off limits" and "acting as if I dont care my friends went into her room". I tried to explain that I didnt even know they went in but she wasn't having it and went on this whole tirade about how I have to be more "responsible" when I have friends over and how im being "rude" by letting them in her room.

(This is where I might be TA) I got kinda annoyed and said something like "Well its not like any of your stuff was even in there you were at your DADS" She got kinda pissy at what I said and told me to keep my "creepy" friends out of her room. I then got a call from my dad like an hour or 2 later saying that I can't have my friends over anymore. I tried to explain that it was an accident and its not like they went through any of her nothing, but he wasn't having it and said they aren't allowed over anymore.

I was pretty pissed that day and obviously dinner ended up not happening. But im curious what others think. AITA?

ETA:I just want to add my friends didnt know it was her room, they haven't really been over to my dad's house too much.

ETA:I am 17 and my stepsister is 19

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/xNapez on 2023-12-30 06:29:37+00:00.

AITA for *WANTING my girlfriend to block all her “friends” sorry I didn’t notice I messed up the title

My gf (25f) and I (25m) have been getting into a lot of arguments over her "friends". Her friend group consists of her ex, people she's slept with, and people she's sent nudes to. Only a couple of friends are actually normal. It's a constant problem because I'll tell her how uncomfortable it makes me feel, it's literally a roster that she keeps around.

She's always saying she doesn't have any friends, but then when I suggest we go out and make some new friends together she doesn't want to. Her friends will know we are together and still try to fuck her. I pointed out that her ex was making moves, she defended him and didn't say anything about it telling me I'm just being jealous. But then he kisses her. I forgive her for "not seeing it coming" even tho I literally told her he was gonna try something. She's always said "you don't have to worry about him" ..she slept with him right after we broke up. Goes back to sending nudes to all her friends. And now we're back together and she wants to invite some friends to my New Years house party.

The girl she invited she literally kissed her recently. The girls bf...hits on her all the time and sends random dick picks and sex tapes cuz they're poly and want her to join. AITA for not wanting people around her that literally just want to sleep with her???? I feel like I'm losing my mind

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/xNapez on 2023-12-30 06:29:37+00:00.

AITA for *WANTING my girlfriend to block all her “friends” sorry I didn’t notice I messed up the title

My gf (25f) and I (25m) have been getting into a lot of arguments over her "friends". Her friend group consists of her ex, people she's slept with, and people she's sent nudes to. Only a couple of friends are actually normal. It's a constant problem because I'll tell her how uncomfortable it makes me feel, it's literally a roster that she keeps around.

She's always saying she doesn't have any friends, but then when I suggest we go out and make some new friends together she doesn't want to. Her friends will know we are together and still try to fuck her. I pointed out that her ex was making moves, she defended him and didn't say anything about it telling me I'm just being jealous. But then he kisses her. I forgive her for "not seeing it coming" even tho I literally told her he was gonna try something. She's always said "you don't have to worry about him" ..she slept with him right after we broke up. Goes back to sending nudes to all her friends. And now we're back together and she wants to invite some friends to my New Years house party.

The girl she invited she literally kissed her recently. The girls bf...hits on her all the time and sends random dick picks and sex tapes cuz they're poly and want her to join. AITA for not wanting people around her that literally just want to sleep with her???? I feel like I'm losing my mind

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Wooden-Falcon-5630 on 2023-12-30 06:09:36+00:00.

I (33F) have been with my boyfriend (32) for 3 years. When I first met him he did not smoke weed. After his second covid shot he told me he was going to smoke some to feel better because his reaction to the 2nd shot was pretty severe. I didn't think much of it until it started to be a regular thing and from meeting his friends they talked about what a big pot head he has always been. This surprised me because he never presented it to me that way before that first time. I am from the south where weed is illegal and highly criminalized.

He is from the north where it's basically everywhere and only recently legalized where we live. My main problem is that his parents are smoke every day, stay high all day weed smokers. They went with us on a cruise and they were hiding weed in their bags and at first didn't want to go because they didn't think they would be able to smoke. This rules their lives and to me looks like an addiction for them. They are extremely good to me and welcomed me with arms wide open. I call his mom, mom - like I love the shit out of them. They are not bad people, nor are any people who smoke weed, however after seeing this behavior from them repeatedly over the years and my boyfriends uptick in smoking it has me concerned. I expressed to him that I'm not comfortable having weed in my house or my car. I don't want to smell like smoke and I don't enjoy him doing it because he gets so stoned he has literally left me at a wedding where I didn't know anyone for 3 hours. He has failed to be able to function for reservations we had for dinner, etc.

Ultimately, I don't want him to become like his parents because the really bad i stances are few and far between, but the fact that they happen infuriates me. While he has initially agreed with me that it's not a great habit, he still sneaks around to smoke weed. I primarily catch him smoking late hours in the house because of the smell.

I come from a family riddled with addiction problems, which he is aware of. My dad has a pill problem, my grandmother and uncle have drinking problems and others. I have purposely distanced myself from overindulgence for fear of turning on an addictive gene I know runs in my family. Although him smoking doesn't directly affect me it is definitely a history button for me and my upbringing. Am I an asshole for asking him to stop smoking and being very disappointed when hes high? How would you approach this?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Wooden-Falcon-5630 on 2023-12-30 06:09:36+00:00.

I (33F) have been with my boyfriend (32) for 3 years. When I first met him he did not smoke weed. After his second covid shot he told me he was going to smoke some to feel better because his reaction to the 2nd shot was pretty severe. I didn't think much of it until it started to be a regular thing and from meeting his friends they talked about what a big pot head he has always been. This surprised me because he never presented it to me that way before that first time. I am from the south where weed is illegal and highly criminalized.

He is from the north where it's basically everywhere and only recently legalized where we live. My main problem is that his parents are smoke every day, stay high all day weed smokers. They went with us on a cruise and they were hiding weed in their bags and at first didn't want to go because they didn't think they would be able to smoke. This rules their lives and to me looks like an addiction for them. They are extremely good to me and welcomed me with arms wide open. I call his mom, mom - like I love the shit out of them. They are not bad people, nor are any people who smoke weed, however after seeing this behavior from them repeatedly over the years and my boyfriends uptick in smoking it has me concerned. I expressed to him that I'm not comfortable having weed in my house or my car. I don't want to smell like smoke and I don't enjoy him doing it because he gets so stoned he has literally left me at a wedding where I didn't know anyone for 3 hours. He has failed to be able to function for reservations we had for dinner, etc.

Ultimately, I don't want him to become like his parents because the really bad i stances are few and far between, but the fact that they happen infuriates me. While he has initially agreed with me that it's not a great habit, he still sneaks around to smoke weed. I primarily catch him smoking late hours in the house because of the smell.

I come from a family riddled with addiction problems, which he is aware of. My dad has a pill problem, my grandmother and uncle have drinking problems and others. I have purposely distanced myself from overindulgence for fear of turning on an addictive gene I know runs in my family. Although him smoking doesn't directly affect me it is definitely a history button for me and my upbringing. Am I an asshole for asking him to stop smoking and being very disappointed when hes high? How would you approach this?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Easy_Astronomer5948 on 2023-12-30 04:57:26+00:00.

I don't know if ages really matter but I'll include them anyway. I (F40's) got my husband (M40's) a pair of slippers for Christmas that say "#1 Husband" on them.

My stepson (M17) has been wearing them around the house, but he has his own pair of slippers so I don't understand why he has to wear his dad's ones. I told my husband that this bothers me and he needs to tell his son to stop. He said I'm being dramatic and it's just a pair of slippers, which yes they are but they're a gift I got for him and I want him to use them!! If he's just sharing them with everyone whats the point??

I said it is making me sad because it means he doesn't appreciate the gift!! (He asked me to get him slippers for Christmas)?

Hubby threw them in the garbage and now I'm even more sad that he'd just do that. I said he's the one being dramatic and he threw them away when there was nothing wrong with them! It's such a waste. He's mad and said he's not being dramatic he just fixed the problem. Am I wrong for saying he's being dramatic???

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Easy_Astronomer5948 on 2023-12-30 04:57:26+00:00.

I don't know if ages really matter but I'll include them anyway. I (F40's) got my husband (M40's) a pair of slippers for Christmas that say "#1 Husband" on them.

My stepson (M17) has been wearing them around the house, but he has his own pair of slippers so I don't understand why he has to wear his dad's ones. I told my husband that this bothers me and he needs to tell his son to stop. He said I'm being dramatic and it's just a pair of slippers, which yes they are but they're a gift I got for him and I want him to use them!! If he's just sharing them with everyone whats the point??

I said it is making me sad because it means he doesn't appreciate the gift!! (He asked me to get him slippers for Christmas)?

Hubby threw them in the garbage and now I'm even more sad that he'd just do that. I said he's the one being dramatic and he threw them away when there was nothing wrong with them! It's such a waste. He's mad and said he's not being dramatic he just fixed the problem. Am I wrong for saying he's being dramatic???

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Fickle_Home4481 on 2023-12-30 01:32:57+00:00.

Throwaway account. But I (25f) have always wanted to name my future baby boy or girl after my grandpa (the name would work really well for a girl by adding an -a to the end) as I was really close to him compared to my other 25 cousins. I practically grew up at their house. I would spend the entire summer at my grandparents during my childhood, be there most weekends as my mom worked night shift, go to church and sit next to my grandpa every weekend, etc. He passed November 2022 and I was absolutely devastated along with the rest of my family. My, technically half, sister (31f) is a nurse, and was able to help the out as his health was declining 2 weeks prior to his passing here and there as he was at home on hospice. I was able to be there the majority of his decline due to my ability to work remotely.

I know she has viewed him as a grandfather figure since she started living full time with us her last hear of high school, but the relationship wasn't nearly as close and she hardly ever made a point to go out and visit the way I have in my adult years.

My sister is now 5 months pregnant, and just told me and the rest of the siblings that she and my BIL (36M) want to use my grandpas name if it's a boy and another cute name if it's a girl. I won't know the gender of the baby until late January during their gender reveal. But I'm fairly sure it is a boy, and I withdrew from the conversation as to avoid making a scene as I was fairly upset.

Would it be wrong of me to chat with my sister and ask her if she has any other names she would consider for a boy?

Should i wait until the gender reveal?

I know it hard to lay claim to a name when you don't even have a baby, but it doesn't stop me from feeling hurt.

This also isn't me saying she isn't a part of my mom's side of the family, or that I don't view her as just my sister. We all love eachother as if we were all full blood related. I just am torn between being happy for her and upset since I've always intended to use that name.

I want honest feedback from strangers rather than close friends or family as they might be slightly skewed toward my side.

Edit: I guess I'm using this platform as a way for me to work through my thoughts. It's not that I necessarily care that she uses the name. It's more that I don't want her to make me feel I can't use the name in the future.

Whose to say I won't change my mind in the future and use it as a middle name bc my partner also wants to honor a family member, etc.

I really just want anonymous perspective and conversation with strangers as I would rather not feel the need to chat with my mom (her "step" mom) as my mom tends to be slightly protective of me. My sister has a right to the name as he was her grandfather as well, granted not as close, but even if she just likes the name she's more than welcome to honor him.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Fickle_Home4481 on 2023-12-30 01:32:57+00:00.

Throwaway account. But I (25f) have always wanted to name my future baby boy or girl after my grandpa (the name would work really well for a girl by adding an -a to the end) as I was really close to him compared to my other 25 cousins. I practically grew up at their house. I would spend the entire summer at my grandparents during my childhood, be there most weekends as my mom worked night shift, go to church and sit next to my grandpa every weekend, etc. He passed November 2022 and I was absolutely devastated along with the rest of my family. My, technically half, sister (31f) is a nurse, and was able to help the out as his health was declining 2 weeks prior to his passing here and there as he was at home on hospice. I was able to be there the majority of his decline due to my ability to work remotely.

I know she has viewed him as a grandfather figure since she started living full time with us her last hear of high school, but the relationship wasn't nearly as close and she hardly ever made a point to go out and visit the way I have in my adult years.

My sister is now 5 months pregnant, and just told me and the rest of the siblings that she and my BIL (36M) want to use my grandpas name if it's a boy and another cute name if it's a girl. I won't know the gender of the baby until late January during their gender reveal. But I'm fairly sure it is a boy, and I withdrew from the conversation as to avoid making a scene as I was fairly upset.

Would it be wrong of me to chat with my sister and ask her if she has any other names she would consider for a boy?

Should i wait until the gender reveal?

I know it hard to lay claim to a name when you don't even have a baby, but it doesn't stop me from feeling hurt.

This also isn't me saying she isn't a part of my mom's side of the family, or that I don't view her as just my sister. We all love eachother as if we were all full blood related. I just am torn between being happy for her and upset since I've always intended to use that name.

I want honest feedback from strangers rather than close friends or family as they might be slightly skewed toward my side.

Edit: I guess I'm using this platform as a way for me to work through my thoughts. It's not that I necessarily care that she uses the name. It's more that I don't want her to make me feel I can't use the name in the future.

Whose to say I won't change my mind in the future and use it as a middle name bc my partner also wants to honor a family member, etc.

I really just want anonymous perspective and conversation with strangers as I would rather not feel the need to chat with my mom (her "step" mom) as my mom tends to be slightly protective of me. My sister has a right to the name as he was her grandfather as well, granted not as close, but even if she just likes the name she's more than welcome to honor him.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/AllIsQuiet-2024 on 2023-12-29 22:01:53+00:00.

My (28f) maternal uncle (65m, turning 66 literally tomorrow) was a civilian scientist working for the USAF. And he is such an awesome guy. My own biological father abandoned me and my mother when I was very young (more than 25 years ago), and my uncle has stepped in and provided financial assistance to us ever since the early days of my mother being a single mom. This was convenient, because my uncle is single and childless. Not only has he helped us out financially, but he’s always been a mentor and a father figure to me. He IS my dad. My mother and I couldn’t have made it without him, and I am indebted to him.

With all that being said…my uncle has retired from the federal government in the summer this year, after 21 years of service. He has a full government pension and retirement benefits. He is the rhythm guitarist/occasional keyboardist for a semi-professional band that he formed with his old grad school classmates. They play music as hard as Iron-Maiden-esque metal, and as soft as jazz fusion, and they’ve been going strong for the past 30 years now! Earlier this month, when my uncle was visiting my mother and I for dinner, he mentioned to us that the main reason he retired was to devote more of his time to music. It wasn’t a secondary reason, but it was his #1 reason. He has no aspirations or expectations of making it big. But his band is regionally popular, so he enjoys playing plenty of shows and local fairs. Also, he can definitely financially afford to spend the rest of his days happily playing the guitar and relaxing.

Nevertheless, my first thought was “….seriously?” I told my uncle that, at nearly the age of 66, he's too old to be “having fun” for the rest of his 30+ yr life. He just laughed, and he let me know that if he can afford to retire and enjoy himself in the twilight years of his life……..then why not?

I just feel like the world is missing out on my uncle’s scientific expertise and talent. He’s still got so much to give. AITA for feeling like he’s squandering his intellect?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Concentration007 on 2023-12-29 19:52:38+00:00.

I and my wife have one child, a 28 yr old woman named Eri. We are a very close-knit family, and every holiday, we send out a video message to our extended family who all live in Australia. Both my parents and my wife’s mother are very conservative Christians, and they look forward to our messages every year. While they’re all very good people, they have some odd, very antiquated takes on fashion that really don’t mesh well with my daughter’s “live and let live” attitude. Also, we have been lying to our parents for years now and telling them that Eri remains a devout Christian, although she is now an atheist and she’s left the church way back when she was 19. I and my wife still pray that our daughter will come back to God soon.

So anyway, this year Eri came back home on the 20th, for Christmas celebrations (she left on the 22nd to visit her boyfriend in Boston) and to record our yearly video msg. For all our previous msgs, my daughter had dressed up in non-descript attire and she basically looked the way her grandparents wanted her to look. Nice and simple. But when she came home this year, I was somewhat disappointed to see that she had dyed her hair auburn/brownish (her natural hair color is black), and she had on a leather jacket that was opened up, pretty low-cut at the chest. Also, she had on some mascara. Her grandparents are so old-fashioned that although this kind of stuff is just normal for 2023, they wouldn’t have approved of it. The end result is that Eri sat out from our video, and although the night was supposed to be festive and celebratory, she just spent it pouting like a little girl. She refused to hug me and her mother and outright told us that she’s glad that she’s spending the holidays on the opposite coast of the country with her boyfriend. I got petty and I just told her that her mother and I are glad too.

Are my wife and I the assholes for not wanting to upset our parents? Take into account that my wife’s mother is 94 and my mom is 98 and dad turned 100 this November. Those were some different times back then, when they grew up.

EDIT: I don't know what it was like for my mother-in-law, but I feel like, at least for my parents, their conservatism can be understood if you knew what my great-grandparents were like. The stories mom and dad have of them.....my wife and I, as well as our siblings, have tried our best to break this tradition of overbearing-ness and uptight-ness, although we all voluntarily carry on the tradition of our faith in God (well, all of us, except for Eri).

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ThrowRAfriends88 on 2023-12-30 06:15:12+00:00.

Okay, so some back story I (21f) was flying with my 3 siblings Jacob(10m) Sarah(19f), and Lucy(6f). My dad decided to surprise our stepmom with first-class seats for just the two of them on our flight back from our grandma's house. So that left me and my step/half siblings alone in the regular seats. Our cousin attends the same college as me in my home state but lives in the same state as our grandma. She pretty last minute decided to fly out later (she wanted to stay home with our grandma for NYE) which left an empty seat on the flight.

So prior to the flight, my sister Lucy got sick. I think it is the flu but idk. Anyway, I loaded my carry-on with trash bags, Clorox wipes, and car trees in case she got sick on the plane. she was sitting next to me. and in the row directly next to us my step-sister Sarah, half-brother Jacob, and cousin (who didn't show up) were supposed/sat.

all was fine and dandy Lucy made it all the way to boarding before she started feeling sick again. I prepared for a flight of me apologizing and trying to clean.

We board and a lady is sitting in the aisle seat in our row. I kindly asked her if she could move to the window seat because Lucy wasn't feeling well and I wanted her to have easy bathroom access. She argued with me about getting there first before finally moving to the window seat.

once the flight was boarded and the doors shut they told us we had a small delay. I looked across the aisle and saw my siblings had an open seat (they didn't put a standby person in my cousin's seat which I assumed would happen). So I turned to the lady sitting next to me in the window and asked her if she wanted to move to that seat.

That way she could have her aisle seat back and she wouldn't have to sit with a sick child. The lady then began to yell at me about how rude I was. and how she wasn't moving from the seat she paid for.

eventually, the flight attendant came over and asked what was going on. I explained the situation and the attendant told me I couldn't ask anyone to move and left. The lady called me a bitch and entitled.

I later told my stepmom and my Dad about it and they agreed I was being rude, an ass, and annoying that poor woman. My mom (agreed with me) I was trying to be polite and offer the woman her original seat choice back. But my stepmom thinks I embarrassed her and my dad. They don't want to fly with me anymore because of this.

Was I being an ass in this situation? I was really genuinely trying to be nice. Now I feel shitty.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ilovemyselfithink on 2023-12-30 05:39:09+00:00.

She left her homeless friend (who was only supposed to stay 2 nights) here for an additional 5 days while she left on vacation. AFTER, both me & my other roomate said no & asked her to tell the girl to leave. She didn’t listen, ignored our requests & messages, tried to flip/manipulate the situation & was really rude & passive aggressive when we were nothing but direct & respectful.

More than anything, if both of my roomates had a problem with something I was doing, I would immediately cease doing that thing. As we all pay rent to SHARE the space. She seriously left a stranger in our apartment days before Christmas while she went on Holiday. She said “guys its christmas, have compassion.” Exactly, its Christmas, I want to feel comfortable in the home we share. The girl ended up staying an additional 4 nights, she made herself way too ate home, didn’t clean up after herself, used our stuff, ate our food. & the roomate had the audacity to cross everyones boundaries & treat us like actual crap while gaslighting us as if we were bad roomates or bad people for not letting her friend stay here while shes on holiday & we are uncomfortable as hell & voiced that many times.

I have screenshots. I am emotionally drained from the situation & hurt & angry & need validation I am not crazy.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Throwaway62481017 on 2023-12-30 05:37:28+00:00.

Every year my (33f) family all go on a big vacation. This year it was my year to plan and I did my job, booked Airbnbs and planned around everyone’s work schedule. It is scheduled for March. It’s a somewhat complex trip because of what people asked for (remote beach location) but I’ve given everyone the info they need to safely arrive at the house.

I was recently pregnant and unfortunately had a miscarriage. My sister also is pregnant and we would have had almost the same due date. She told me in what I think is a shitty way. She knew I had a miscarriage and FaceTimed me two weeks after to tell me she was pregnant mere hours before I had guests arriving to entertain. She’s always been a little socially immature so I didnt think it was malicious but still could have waited until I was out of the darkest days of grief. I have seen her since this happened but we basically spent the time so busy with other things that I consciously avoided talking about her pregnancy. I don’t want to go on the trip because I think I will just feel awful about the whole situation. I want to be happy for her but I’m obviously not, every time it comes up it just feels like salt in a wound. It just doesn’t feel doable to hide how I’m feeling in the pressure cooker situation of a family vacation all in one house.

My parents one time to see all their kids and our families in one place is this time. My mom has been exceptionally kind throughout all of this but I know she would still be disappointed. So, WIBTA if me and my family cancel on this trip?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/goodboi87 on 2023-12-30 04:46:17+00:00.

I got married about a year back and at that time me and my partner had a discussion on where we would like to live, she said she is okay staying with my parents (Indian household) since there was a spare room, meaning we would have our privacy and could share resources like groceries etc (after marriage expenses like utility bills and grocery are paid for by me). Everything was good and dandy until few months back her mother (her parents live at 5 mins walking distance) unexpectedly died of heartattack. It devasted everyone but it created a problem we didn't think about. My father in law had grown dependent on his wife to a large extent (he is in no way disabled) for upkeep of the house, prepping meals etc Now with my MIL gone my wife feels like she did not do enough for her mom when she was alive and wants to do everything she can for her dad which is justified but in the process she is forgetting she is a married woman and has her own private life to live. Initially we decided to stay 1 month in my parents house and 1 month at her dad's place so he has company (FILs 82 y/o mom has moved in with him)My partners parents stay in a 1 Bedroom apartment meaning there is no privacy for us meaning an already difficult activity of sex due to her low libido has now become near impossible and all our private conversations need to happen in with everyone listening I was okay with the plan until during my stay I realised how incapable he is to take care of his house. I do not like being there because is lack of discipline in my FIL he doesn't mind living in a untidy place and still expects his old mother or daughter to cook and run the house. He has a timid personality and is very indecisive about most things. On the contrary my dad was a strong man with leadership qualities. Living with my FIL pushes me to assume a leadership position but it doesn't go well with FILs mom who doesn't like things changed and as the senior most in the house vetos my decisions. After a while I put my foot down and said we are not going back and that FIL should be independent by now it's been 3 months since his wife died. I understand we need to be patient and let him get to speed but I barely see any active efforts on his side. My wife is angry at me for this. AITA for wanting to go back to my old life

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Dense_Clock8783 on 2023-12-30 02:19:01+00:00.

So today I(31M) was feeling a bit under the weather and my wife(27F) texted me asking if I wanted chicken soup. I told her that I wanted ramen with broth, one of the packet maruchan, which I normally don't have the broth with it. She said she was making chicken soup because she wanted some, so I said sure I'll take some. When i got home from work she was still mid-making it so I sat down with my daughter and just relaxed for a little bit. My wife then says its done and I go to get some and i guess she maybe added to much rice or not enough water but it essentially came out like a thick risotto. I thanked her and said, "Oh its risotto!" as in i was surprised since she said she was making soup. She said, "No its chicken soup." I then asked her where the broth was to make it soup, as the reason i was asking for soup was because i didnt want anything thick. She then starts getting upset because I was calling it risotto and not soup. My wife gets very hurt when I say anything about her food. She always thinks I'm critiquing it because her mother is not a good cook and thats where she gets her cooking skills from, atleast thats what she says. I just wanted soup because I was sick and it turned into this huge argument. AITA or is there a better way to have handled this?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Chihoosier23 on 2023-12-30 02:07:58+00:00.

18M. I am going driving to Florida from Illinois tomorrow morning with my girlfriends family. Earlier this week, I told her I would sleep at her place on Friday night to make sure I’m awake on Saturday morning when we leave (4am).

Keep in mind that we took a similar road trip in August and I woke up slightly late and she had to wait about 20 minutes for me at 4am. She wasn’t happy about this incident.

Basically it’s Friday, and she says she’s going to go to bed at 9pm. Knowing I’d like to go to bed later, I changed my mind and said I am actually going to sleep at my own place now and meet at hers in the morning to leave.

She is livid, saying she doesn’t trust me to wake up and to “Please decide these things before committing to people next time”. She’s extremely angry and not happy with the fact I changed my mind, and the major reason being she doesn’t trust me to wake up.

I have made it abundantly clear she has nothing to worry about and i will be awake and ready. This has done nothing to change her mind. Heading into this 16 hour road trip tomorrow, AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Safe97 on 2023-12-30 02:07:45+00:00.

My (44m) son who we'll call Garric (28ftm) had a Barbie dreamhouse as a kid. I had bought it for him special for when I had custody. It ended up not being one of his favorite toys but he still used it sometimes.

A few years after Garric had movied out I had sold a lot of things before my now wife and her daughter moved in. One of those was the dreamhouse. I didn't think anything of it at the time as Garric hadn't talked about it in years and it was something no one used that just took up space.

Garric and his wife are now going to be getting son from another country at adopt. Garric had given me a list of some of his old things that he wanted back to give to the child. I still had most of them but not all, including the Dreamhouse. He was only mad at me about the Dreamhouse.

He is really pissed I sold it and a couple of my friends agreed that I shouldn't have sold it.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/PunkFishKeeping on 2023-12-30 02:03:06+00:00.

I (15m) and my sibling (16nb) shared a room for most of our lives, I always hated it. At 13 I decided to just sleep in the living room, mainly because my sibling would moan in there sleep and it kept me up and made me very uncomfortable.

I don’t mind the couch but my dad(57m) minds because he can’t use his big tv, at one point I suggested maybe we could talk about moving to a 3 bedroom apartment, how we can budget, how I’ll be getting a couple jobs next year so I can work on moving out and I could pay a part of rent, etc. he got angry, said I could just share with my sibling and that it isn’t that big of a deal. I told him okay, I don’t want to argue with my dad, as much as I want my own room I know it means extra rent. I talked to my sibling about it. They said it was kinda assholey to tell my dad that, but if he doesn’t want to talk about solutions then he shouldn’t complain about it. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/notpayingfriend on 2023-12-30 01:44:19+00:00.

I have a friend who immigrated to the UK many years ago but still keeps in touch with me.

A few years ago we had made my son and his daughter get in touch and they agreed to marry. I had agreed to pay my friend a substantial amount of money if everything went smoothly and my son moved to the UK to be with her.

However shortly after they got married she fell ill and we weren't sure she would make it. My son stuck around for 6 years before deciding to divorce her. She is doing fine now 3 years later but she has turned into a completely different person now, isn't close with her dad anymore, parties in revealing clothing, doesn't do traditional festivals etc so my son didn't want to get back with her.

During this time my son got settled into his UK life and got a great job and now wants to marry another girl from home and bring her to the UK.

However I also recently sold my property and now my friend, the dad of his ex wife wants me to pay. I refused because things didn't work out and he got upset and claimed that my son used his daughter for uk citizenship even though he fully wanted to marry her and things only changed because of her health.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/EggDoughnut on 2023-12-30 01:24:54+00:00.

I’m (47F) a SAHM to my adorable/energetic toddler (5M). Like most kids his age, he is still learning about emotions and how to express them, and, recently, was having a particularly difficult day.

He was throwing tantrums left and right, and was visibly upset. Of course, I wanted to comfort him/help him understand his big feelings better. After yet another tantrum, I gently approached him and said, “Sweetie, it seems like you need a hug right now. Would you like one?”

To my surprise, he immediately calmed down, and reached out for a hug. We embraced for a few moments, and he seemed to find comfort in my arms. It was a heartwarming moment for both of us, and I truly believed it was the right thing to do.

However, when I shared this incident with my family, they were absolutely outraged. They accused me of taking away my toddler’s autonomy by telling him what he needed, and argued that I should have let him figure it out on his own without my intervention.

My intention was never to control/manipulate my toddler’s emotions, but rather to offer him comfort when he seemed overwhelmed. I believe that at such a young age, he may not always have the vocabulary or understanding to express his needs clearly, and I saw the opportunity to help him in a gentle way.

So, Reddit: I turn to you.

AITA for telling my toddler that he needed a hug? Did I overstep my boundaries as a parent, or was I simply trying to provide comfort and support to my child in a challenging moment?

TL;DR: After my toddler had a series of tantrums, I gently suggested he might need a hug, which calmed him down. Family accuses me of taking away his autonomy. AITA?