Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Emergency_End_1135 on 2023-12-29 23:31:09+00:00.

I (Male 15) have a cousin (Male 16) who we'll call Donny. Donny lives out of town; he only comes to my hometown twice a year, which are during our respective school breaks and other occasional holidays. Normally, when he visits, I always go see him because we don't interact as much and he's just a chill person, or he was. As we got older, Donny got increasingly annoying to deal with, so I would spend less time with him as he kept coming back. Don't get it twisted, though. It wasn't that I never went to see him; it was just less frequent, as in, I'd stay over his house for lesser amounts of time and communicate a tad bit less, not out of spite but just so that I could still have some inner peace, y'know? Especially considering we started arguing a lot more around this time too. A few years ago, I made two of my best friends that I still have now, whom we'll call Zoe and Angel. Zoe isn't as financially stable as Angel and I, so she can't really go to that many places, which is why we normally meet up at her house, except for the one time she came over to mine (but mind you, it was because Angel picked her up).

As I've entered my sophomore year of high school, I got to see and talk to Zoe and Angel A LOT less, but I still chatted with Donny every so often over text and calls, which was nice but didn't fulfill me in any way. Finally, Donny visited during our winter break, and he's only gonna be in town for 2 weeks, which I had occupied due to my school schedule and family stuff that he was still involved in. I was supposed to go and see him, but I was also supposed to go see Zoe and Angel the day before, but due to some mishaps and wrong timing, that got postponed to the same day as when I was supposed to see Donny. I told my mom that I'd rather not see Donny because of our constant arguing and because we weren't as close as we were when we were younger (as in, I don't really know much about him outside of his complaints and girlfriends), and because of us not being that close, I got closer to Zoe and Angel, who I connect with more. My mom said that was unfair to my cousin because he can't be here all the time, which I found weird to say because it's not my fault he can't visit 24/7; if anything, it's hers and his dad's, but that's not important. She then proceeded to guilt trip me (at least that's what it felt like) by saying that he was waiting for me, and I hurt his feelings because I didn't wanna go (he also lives really far, and I was only staying for half of that day and half of the next, so it felt pointless as well). I feel like I shouldn't feel bad for not wanting to go, though. I wasn't even eager to go visit Zoe. I was just telling my mom about it just because. There's so much I could tell her, but ever since we "argued," she's just been on my back, constantly saying the same things, and I'm starting to get overwhelmed and feel worse. Sorry I didn't explain a lot, but I will if anyone asks. Anyways though, AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Emergency_End_1135 on 2023-12-29 23:31:09+00:00.

I (Male 15) have a cousin (Male 16) who we'll call Donny. Donny lives out of town; he only comes to my hometown twice a year, which are during our respective school breaks and other occasional holidays. Normally, when he visits, I always go see him because we don't interact as much and he's just a chill person, or he was. As we got older, Donny got increasingly annoying to deal with, so I would spend less time with him as he kept coming back. Don't get it twisted, though. It wasn't that I never went to see him; it was just less frequent, as in, I'd stay over his house for lesser amounts of time and communicate a tad bit less, not out of spite but just so that I could still have some inner peace, y'know? Especially considering we started arguing a lot more around this time too. A few years ago, I made two of my best friends that I still have now, whom we'll call Zoe and Angel. Zoe isn't as financially stable as Angel and I, so she can't really go to that many places, which is why we normally meet up at her house, except for the one time she came over to mine (but mind you, it was because Angel picked her up).

As I've entered my sophomore year of high school, I got to see and talk to Zoe and Angel A LOT less, but I still chatted with Donny every so often over text and calls, which was nice but didn't fulfill me in any way. Finally, Donny visited during our winter break, and he's only gonna be in town for 2 weeks, which I had occupied due to my school schedule and family stuff that he was still involved in. I was supposed to go and see him, but I was also supposed to go see Zoe and Angel the day before, but due to some mishaps and wrong timing, that got postponed to the same day as when I was supposed to see Donny. I told my mom that I'd rather not see Donny because of our constant arguing and because we weren't as close as we were when we were younger (as in, I don't really know much about him outside of his complaints and girlfriends), and because of us not being that close, I got closer to Zoe and Angel, who I connect with more. My mom said that was unfair to my cousin because he can't be here all the time, which I found weird to say because it's not my fault he can't visit 24/7; if anything, it's hers and his dad's, but that's not important. She then proceeded to guilt trip me (at least that's what it felt like) by saying that he was waiting for me, and I hurt his feelings because I didn't wanna go (he also lives really far, and I was only staying for half of that day and half of the next, so it felt pointless as well). I feel like I shouldn't feel bad for not wanting to go, though. I wasn't even eager to go visit Zoe. I was just telling my mom about it just because. There's so much I could tell her, but ever since we "argued," she's just been on my back, constantly saying the same things, and I'm starting to get overwhelmed and feel worse. Sorry I didn't explain a lot, but I will if anyone asks. Anyways though, AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/treasuredtatertots on 2023-12-29 23:27:35+00:00.

(to prephase this: it is completely normal in our culture to live with your parents till the age of 25)

I (21 m) and my two brothers have been moving house between our divorced parents every week for about 10 years now. We didn't mind the arrangement at first but after we all went to colleges in different cities, my brother and I decided to stay more at dad's and mom's respectively.

Now, my dad got a new girlfriend a few years back and she's lovely, we're not calling her mom and she doesn't expect us to so it's comfortable. Her two kids were raised very different but I get along decently with one of them and my brother's seem to as well. Now recently, my dad and her decided to move in together so my dad sold his house and moved in with her. The entire process from the decision to him moving there took only 1.5 months.

Now the issue is, she also has two kids. So we'd be with 7 of us. And the house they are now living in is meant for 4 people. Also, her youngest (16m) is extremely homophobic and I'm openly gay, which makes for an incredible uncomfortable feeling altogether when I'm there.

That aside, the house is too small. And they're in the process of buying a larger one which is fine! But me and my youngest brother are sleeping on mattresses on the floor. I sleep in the living room and my youngest brother sleeps cramped in the small room my older brother is in.

If one of her kids is somewhere else my bed gets moved without asking me so I can sleep in one of their rooms on the floor (we're not allowed to touch their stuff so the floor it is) because they prefer having nobody in the livingroom.

I understand them wanting to move in together, they're very happy together and he gets along great with her kids, but it feels like an incredibly selfish decision without it being communicated at all with any of the kids and there simply not being space for this many people. It just seems like poor planning on their part and as if they could have waited for the new house.

On top of that our dad is incredibly emotionally distant so any time we try to bring it up he laughs it away or talks around it.

Now my dad already had a very hard time with me being more at my mom's house than his and we had a lot of talks about it. He loves us even if he has a hard time showing it and loves his new family a lot aswell. But...

Due to all of this the house doesn't feel like a home and all and feels hostile and unwelcoming. I feel like a bother being anywhere there and dont have any private space at all. Her kids barely in nteract with us even if I get along decently well with one of them and they seem less than thrilled to have us here.

I am considering staying at my mom's permanently until they move into the new house and then giving it another try but I know it'll hurt my dad's feelings badly.

WBITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/treasuredtatertots on 2023-12-29 23:27:35+00:00.

(to prephase this: it is completely normal in our culture to live with your parents till the age of 25)

I (21 m) and my two brothers have been moving house between our divorced parents every week for about 10 years now. We didn't mind the arrangement at first but after we all went to colleges in different cities, my brother and I decided to stay more at dad's and mom's respectively.

Now, my dad got a new girlfriend a few years back and she's lovely, we're not calling her mom and she doesn't expect us to so it's comfortable. Her two kids were raised very different but I get along decently with one of them and my brother's seem to as well. Now recently, my dad and her decided to move in together so my dad sold his house and moved in with her. The entire process from the decision to him moving there took only 1.5 months.

Now the issue is, she also has two kids. So we'd be with 7 of us. And the house they are now living in is meant for 4 people. Also, her youngest (16m) is extremely homophobic and I'm openly gay, which makes for an incredible uncomfortable feeling altogether when I'm there.

That aside, the house is too small. And they're in the process of buying a larger one which is fine! But me and my youngest brother are sleeping on mattresses on the floor. I sleep in the living room and my youngest brother sleeps cramped in the small room my older brother is in.

If one of her kids is somewhere else my bed gets moved without asking me so I can sleep in one of their rooms on the floor (we're not allowed to touch their stuff so the floor it is) because they prefer having nobody in the livingroom.

I understand them wanting to move in together, they're very happy together and he gets along great with her kids, but it feels like an incredibly selfish decision without it being communicated at all with any of the kids and there simply not being space for this many people. It just seems like poor planning on their part and as if they could have waited for the new house.

On top of that our dad is incredibly emotionally distant so any time we try to bring it up he laughs it away or talks around it.

Now my dad already had a very hard time with me being more at my mom's house than his and we had a lot of talks about it. He loves us even if he has a hard time showing it and loves his new family a lot aswell. But...

Due to all of this the house doesn't feel like a home and all and feels hostile and unwelcoming. I feel like a bother being anywhere there and dont have any private space at all. Her kids barely in nteract with us even if I get along decently well with one of them and they seem less than thrilled to have us here.

I am considering staying at my mom's permanently until they move into the new house and then giving it another try but I know it'll hurt my dad's feelings badly.

WBITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Next_Fox7711 on 2023-12-29 23:24:35+00:00.

I'm not used to posting on reddit so excuse anything that's not common sense on here...

I'm [17M] in a bad relationship with my [43F] mother, and have been for a very long time. So, I can understand if maybe why I'm so defiant to listen to her side could come from our bad blood.

I'd like to preface this by stating that my mother is borderline a stay at home "wife" (not married to my father) and only works to get a little money FOR HERSELF. We also eat out a lot, and I tend to be the only one who actually makes food.

My mother likes to pretend she is a good house wife, who cooks and cleans and watches the children. So regularly she buys ingredients and not meals. Things like frozen vegetables, sauce cans, frozen meats, etc. These things sit in the fridge for months, maybe even years. Yes, a lot of these things last a long time, but having them sit there and buying more of them seems wasteful to me. So, when I get the chance, I will use these ingredients for meals for myself (considering they are usually small enough portions, and I eat it all. The rest of my family buys restaurant food.)

It's constantly an argument everytime I do, and partly I've admitted I'm at fault in the past because maybe for certain things I didn't use them to their full benefit. But today she comes into my room looking for a fight. She sees the bowl I used yesterday that I had forgotten to take to the sink with the small left overs of rice (that I bought with my money) and veggies, and she asked me where I got the veggies. I say from a pack in the freezer, and she instantly gets heated. She begins asking me if I used it all, if I threw any away, and when all my answers are no she seems to get even more mad saying it's completely disrespectful that I use it and not tell her, because what if she had gone to make dinner and there not be any veggies? I reminder she never makes dinner, so it wouldn't be a problem.

She continued on screaming saying that I need to stop using ingredients because no matter what it's not negotiable and I have other things to eat that she bought me. I tell her she used my father's card for anything she bought me, and that she bought me ramen cups and chips, and I have stated many times before that I'm getting tired of eating unfufiling food, especially because I have nothing to top the foods with because, again, I'm not allowed to use the ingredients in the house.

I tell her what she does is wasteful, and that I won't ever understand or partake in her rules. She then brings up that I'm getting a new pc, and that I'm more wasteful, but I've asked for this computer for a long time and have worked for it. While maybe I don't deserve it, I don't plan to waste it. Really, I'm just looking for tips on what to say to her and what to do, and if maybe I should just give in.

Am I the asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Next_Fox7711 on 2023-12-29 23:24:35+00:00.

I'm not used to posting on reddit so excuse anything that's not common sense on here...

I'm [17M] in a bad relationship with my [43F] mother, and have been for a very long time. So, I can understand if maybe why I'm so defiant to listen to her side could come from our bad blood.

I'd like to preface this by stating that my mother is borderline a stay at home "wife" (not married to my father) and only works to get a little money FOR HERSELF. We also eat out a lot, and I tend to be the only one who actually makes food.

My mother likes to pretend she is a good house wife, who cooks and cleans and watches the children. So regularly she buys ingredients and not meals. Things like frozen vegetables, sauce cans, frozen meats, etc. These things sit in the fridge for months, maybe even years. Yes, a lot of these things last a long time, but having them sit there and buying more of them seems wasteful to me. So, when I get the chance, I will use these ingredients for meals for myself (considering they are usually small enough portions, and I eat it all. The rest of my family buys restaurant food.)

It's constantly an argument everytime I do, and partly I've admitted I'm at fault in the past because maybe for certain things I didn't use them to their full benefit. But today she comes into my room looking for a fight. She sees the bowl I used yesterday that I had forgotten to take to the sink with the small left overs of rice (that I bought with my money) and veggies, and she asked me where I got the veggies. I say from a pack in the freezer, and she instantly gets heated. She begins asking me if I used it all, if I threw any away, and when all my answers are no she seems to get even more mad saying it's completely disrespectful that I use it and not tell her, because what if she had gone to make dinner and there not be any veggies? I reminder she never makes dinner, so it wouldn't be a problem.

She continued on screaming saying that I need to stop using ingredients because no matter what it's not negotiable and I have other things to eat that she bought me. I tell her she used my father's card for anything she bought me, and that she bought me ramen cups and chips, and I have stated many times before that I'm getting tired of eating unfufiling food, especially because I have nothing to top the foods with because, again, I'm not allowed to use the ingredients in the house.

I tell her what she does is wasteful, and that I won't ever understand or partake in her rules. She then brings up that I'm getting a new pc, and that I'm more wasteful, but I've asked for this computer for a long time and have worked for it. While maybe I don't deserve it, I don't plan to waste it. Really, I'm just looking for tips on what to say to her and what to do, and if maybe I should just give in.

Am I the asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Street_Board9994 on 2023-12-29 23:16:54+00:00.

I, 31 male, have my birthday coming up in February. I've been wanting a generic fantasy theme party for myself, family, and friends all year. I'm a nerd for fantasy like LOTR, Harry Potter, Game of Thrones, Wheel of Time, etc. While the aesthetics will be medieval style, I'm having pretty standard food and drinks. The issues are coming from a cousin having a problem with the dress code. I'm putting on a colored dress code for the partygoers based of the Seven Ajahs of the Aes Sedai from Wheel of Time, Red Green Gray Brown Yellow Blue and White. Its a normal casual or semiformal attire, I'm not expecting anyone to wear wizard robes or queen ball gowns or the like. Nor am I expecting anyone to look like they just dipped their clothes in monochromatic paint either. Just wear regular clothes that clearly show which color Ajah they have chosen to dress for. I myself am choosing the Blue with a Old Navy Blue plaid button up, light blue tee, and blue jeans. Everyone has so far been on board with this with no pushback except 1 family member. My cousin, "Vanessa", is the one I've been arguing with about this dress code. We are not nor have ever been close. She's always been condescending to my side of the family over some family drama decades ago. But she has confirmed she is coming other family. Vanessa first reached out to clarify my dress code on the email invites. I explained the 7 colors and why and did tell her that she can dress in normal casual clothing as long as her chosen Color is obvious and predominant. She seemed not too pleased but didn't mention anything at the time. later she reached out again after she found out a friend of mine she likes will be attending and said to me she plans on wearing this new Pink and black dress she thinks will make her look appealing for this friend. I was kind of taken back that she needed to bring this up to me now with my party still a month and half away at this time. Sort of felt like she was trying to rub it in my face that she was going against how I wanted my party to be. anyway I told her that while I'm ok with her wanting to go for this friend (she is not his type btw, I don't think it will go anywhere), I would really want her to adhere to the Dress code I wanted. She pushed back that its a dumb rule and that i shouldn't be trying to make her and others "play along with my nerdy Dungeons and Dragon delusions". While this was making me angry but I had other things to do that day, I responded with fine she can wear whatever she wants but it does disrespect the look I wanted for my birthday. she then just hangs up on me. Sister says she saw Vanessa the next day making a not so subtle facebook post about how nerdy incels try to make normal people like her look and feel bad for wanting to dress normal. so AITA for wanting a dress code that is causing family drama?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Street_Board9994 on 2023-12-29 23:16:54+00:00.

I, 31 male, have my birthday coming up in February. I've been wanting a generic fantasy theme party for myself, family, and friends all year. I'm a nerd for fantasy like LOTR, Harry Potter, Game of Thrones, Wheel of Time, etc. While the aesthetics will be medieval style, I'm having pretty standard food and drinks. The issues are coming from a cousin having a problem with the dress code. I'm putting on a colored dress code for the partygoers based of the Seven Ajahs of the Aes Sedai from Wheel of Time, Red Green Gray Brown Yellow Blue and White. Its a normal casual or semiformal attire, I'm not expecting anyone to wear wizard robes or queen ball gowns or the like. Nor am I expecting anyone to look like they just dipped their clothes in monochromatic paint either. Just wear regular clothes that clearly show which color Ajah they have chosen to dress for. I myself am choosing the Blue with a Old Navy Blue plaid button up, light blue tee, and blue jeans. Everyone has so far been on board with this with no pushback except 1 family member. My cousin, "Vanessa", is the one I've been arguing with about this dress code. We are not nor have ever been close. She's always been condescending to my side of the family over some family drama decades ago. But she has confirmed she is coming other family. Vanessa first reached out to clarify my dress code on the email invites. I explained the 7 colors and why and did tell her that she can dress in normal casual clothing as long as her chosen Color is obvious and predominant. She seemed not too pleased but didn't mention anything at the time. later she reached out again after she found out a friend of mine she likes will be attending and said to me she plans on wearing this new Pink and black dress she thinks will make her look appealing for this friend. I was kind of taken back that she needed to bring this up to me now with my party still a month and half away at this time. Sort of felt like she was trying to rub it in my face that she was going against how I wanted my party to be. anyway I told her that while I'm ok with her wanting to go for this friend (she is not his type btw, I don't think it will go anywhere), I would really want her to adhere to the Dress code I wanted. She pushed back that its a dumb rule and that i shouldn't be trying to make her and others "play along with my nerdy Dungeons and Dragon delusions". While this was making me angry but I had other things to do that day, I responded with fine she can wear whatever she wants but it does disrespect the look I wanted for my birthday. she then just hangs up on me. Sister says she saw Vanessa the next day making a not so subtle facebook post about how nerdy incels try to make normal people like her look and feel bad for wanting to dress normal. so AITA for wanting a dress code that is causing family drama?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Available-Ad-4770 on 2023-12-29 23:15:02+00:00.

Basically what the title says. I (18M)added this girl(17F) on snapchat a little over a month ago. We talked and exchanged pictures to see what we looked like. I downloaded roblox on my playstation so I could could play with her. We got along great Immediately. We continued talking through the couple of days we spent hanging out and watching Netflix and being interested in eachother. She eventually went back to school, so we talked a little less but we still talked. And then on Friday she said she would call me back. She said that her brothers friend was coming over that weekend. I waited all of Friday night, Saturday, and most of Sunday until I heard from her again. I was suspicious for some reason, but I wanted to trust her. I wasn't upset because she didnt want to talk to me, but because she instantly denied all of my calls and left all of my messages on open. All she would have had to do was tell me she didn't want to talk at that moment (I wasn't blowing up her phone). Her excuse was that she doesn't pay attention to her phone when people are over. I said okay and accepted it. And then it happened 3 more weekends. We were talking on the phone and playing fortnite on Dec 23rd. She hung up out of nowhere and didn't respond to my texts. The only thing she did say was she's in bed. I waited till the next day to ask of she wanted to call, and Sue just said no. A flat out no. And that was not normal than her usual response of denying a call(she usually said not right now or maybe later). She continued ignoring me the next few days. And then I finally had enough of it. I seen her active on playstation but still leaving all of my messages on openand denying my calls . So I texted her and said "welp this was fun while it lasted" and blocked her. It's been 2 days and she hasn't tried to reach out by calling my number or snapping Me on her other account so AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Available-Ad-4770 on 2023-12-29 23:15:02+00:00.

Basically what the title says. I (18M)added this girl(17F) on snapchat a little over a month ago. We talked and exchanged pictures to see what we looked like. I downloaded roblox on my playstation so I could could play with her. We got along great Immediately. We continued talking through the couple of days we spent hanging out and watching Netflix and being interested in eachother. She eventually went back to school, so we talked a little less but we still talked. And then on Friday she said she would call me back. She said that her brothers friend was coming over that weekend. I waited all of Friday night, Saturday, and most of Sunday until I heard from her again. I was suspicious for some reason, but I wanted to trust her. I wasn't upset because she didnt want to talk to me, but because she instantly denied all of my calls and left all of my messages on open. All she would have had to do was tell me she didn't want to talk at that moment (I wasn't blowing up her phone). Her excuse was that she doesn't pay attention to her phone when people are over. I said okay and accepted it. And then it happened 3 more weekends. We were talking on the phone and playing fortnite on Dec 23rd. She hung up out of nowhere and didn't respond to my texts. The only thing she did say was she's in bed. I waited till the next day to ask of she wanted to call, and Sue just said no. A flat out no. And that was not normal than her usual response of denying a call(she usually said not right now or maybe later). She continued ignoring me the next few days. And then I finally had enough of it. I seen her active on playstation but still leaving all of my messages on openand denying my calls . So I texted her and said "welp this was fun while it lasted" and blocked her. It's been 2 days and she hasn't tried to reach out by calling my number or snapping Me on her other account so AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/burner727373 on 2023-12-29 23:13:19+00:00.

I (F15) guess I'm jealous of my friend because she has everything I want and she's happy and even though it's probably quite bad to think but I just wish she wasn't happy. When we met she was in the same situation as me but she's not now and I just don't think it's fair. She doesn't deserve to be happy if I can't, I want her to feel like I do. It's probably really selfish but oh well.

I told her all this (it was kinda relevant to the conversation I didn't just say it for no reason) and it made her really angry. She said it was a really weird thing to say to her especially because we're best friends and she's been really annoyed at me since. I only told her the truth I didn't lie or anything I just want something bad to happen in her life I guess not to her though I love her she's so cool i just want her life to be like mine.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/burner727373 on 2023-12-29 23:13:19+00:00.

I (F15) guess I'm jealous of my friend because she has everything I want and she's happy and even though it's probably quite bad to think but I just wish she wasn't happy. When we met she was in the same situation as me but she's not now and I just don't think it's fair. She doesn't deserve to be happy if I can't, I want her to feel like I do. It's probably really selfish but oh well.

I told her all this (it was kinda relevant to the conversation I didn't just say it for no reason) and it made her really angry. She said it was a really weird thing to say to her especially because we're best friends and she's been really annoyed at me since. I only told her the truth I didn't lie or anything I just want something bad to happen in her life I guess not to her though I love her she's so cool i just want her life to be like mine.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/MistahKnuts on 2023-12-29 23:06:06+00:00.

This Xmas she gifted me a Shohei Ohtani jersey, Angel's. She asked me if I planned on wearing it as she caught me looking online shopping for his current jersey. Long story short. This was his last year playing for the angels and just signed a 10 yr contract to play with the LA Dodgers. I am a Philly fan but I do root for players. Being as I am half Japanese i Def root for one of the most generational athletes of a lifetime. She doesn't understand that it's cool to wear an outdated jersey whenever you're a fan of the team but being as I am a fan of the player and not the team had she would have done her research and not just bought a jersey she could have gotten on sale for way cheaper but also would have done better by getting his current team jersey. Aita?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/MistahKnuts on 2023-12-29 23:06:06+00:00.

This Xmas she gifted me a Shohei Ohtani jersey, Angel's. She asked me if I planned on wearing it as she caught me looking online shopping for his current jersey. Long story short. This was his last year playing for the angels and just signed a 10 yr contract to play with the LA Dodgers. I am a Philly fan but I do root for players. Being as I am half Japanese i Def root for one of the most generational athletes of a lifetime. She doesn't understand that it's cool to wear an outdated jersey whenever you're a fan of the team but being as I am a fan of the player and not the team had she would have done her research and not just bought a jersey she could have gotten on sale for way cheaper but also would have done better by getting his current team jersey. Aita?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/TicTacCarton on 2023-12-29 23:04:39+00:00.

Hey, Reddit; I (24F) recently found myself in a situation where I’m questioning whether I may be the AH or not. I never thought I’d be posting here, but here goes . . .

So, some BG: I come from a family that has always struggled financially. We’ve never had much, and my parents worked hard to make ends meet. They’ve always emphasized the importance of education, and it was drilled into my head that getting a college degree is the key to a better life.

Fast forward to the present: I am the first person in my family to attend college, and I recently graduated with honors. I landed a great job with a decent salary, which has finally allowed me to have some financial stability.

Here’s where the conflict arises, though. My little brother (20F) dropped out of HS a few years ago, and has been struggling to find his way ever since. He’s been working odd jobs, but hasn’t found anything stable.

He recently approached me, asking for help to get back on his feet.

Initially, I felt sympathetic and wanted to support him. I offered to help him enroll in a GED program, pay for the classes, and even help him find a job once he’s done. But, here’s the thing — he refused. He told me that he doesn‘t want to go back to school/work a regular job because he believes it’s “not his thing”.

Instead, he asked if I could lend him a significant amount of money to pursue his dream of becoming a social media influencer. He wants to travel, create content, and make a living out of it. Now, I understand that social media can be a legitimate career for some people, but it’s risky, and success is far from guaranteed.

Here’s where I may be the AH. I told him that I’m not comfortable giving him such a large sum of money for an uncertain endeavor. I explained that I worked hard to get where I am, and I don’t want to jeopardize my financial stability by making a risky investment. I suggested he explore more realistic options, like getting his GED/finding a stable job, but he got upset with me.

He accused me of being selfish, unsupportive, and not understanding his dreams. He said that “family should always be there for each other” and “help in times of need”. Now, I feel guilty, but also like I’m being taken advantage of.

So, Reddit; AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/TicTacCarton on 2023-12-29 23:04:39+00:00.

Hey, Reddit; I (24F) recently found myself in a situation where I’m questioning whether I may be the AH or not. I never thought I’d be posting here, but here goes . . .

So, some BG: I come from a family that has always struggled financially. We’ve never had much, and my parents worked hard to make ends meet. They’ve always emphasized the importance of education, and it was drilled into my head that getting a college degree is the key to a better life.

Fast forward to the present: I am the first person in my family to attend college, and I recently graduated with honors. I landed a great job with a decent salary, which has finally allowed me to have some financial stability.

Here’s where the conflict arises, though. My little brother (20F) dropped out of HS a few years ago, and has been struggling to find his way ever since. He’s been working odd jobs, but hasn’t found anything stable.

He recently approached me, asking for help to get back on his feet.

Initially, I felt sympathetic and wanted to support him. I offered to help him enroll in a GED program, pay for the classes, and even help him find a job once he’s done. But, here’s the thing — he refused. He told me that he doesn‘t want to go back to school/work a regular job because he believes it’s “not his thing”.

Instead, he asked if I could lend him a significant amount of money to pursue his dream of becoming a social media influencer. He wants to travel, create content, and make a living out of it. Now, I understand that social media can be a legitimate career for some people, but it’s risky, and success is far from guaranteed.

Here’s where I may be the AH. I told him that I’m not comfortable giving him such a large sum of money for an uncertain endeavor. I explained that I worked hard to get where I am, and I don’t want to jeopardize my financial stability by making a risky investment. I suggested he explore more realistic options, like getting his GED/finding a stable job, but he got upset with me.

He accused me of being selfish, unsupportive, and not understanding his dreams. He said that “family should always be there for each other” and “help in times of need”. Now, I feel guilty, but also like I’m being taken advantage of.

So, Reddit; AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/BrightonDBA on 2023-12-29 23:00:11+00:00.

Facts: We have an electric car. It provides data on its driving style, etc. We have smart meters, and so on. We have a 3 year old. I mostly work from home in an IT role.

Today I saw that our energy usage was nearly £14 by 8pm. I asked my wife to use energy more consciously, and to be considerate of things like multiple tumble dryer loads rather than just the immediate needs and to hang the rest, not to treat every red light as a race track green light when it appears, etc.

Her response has, in short, somewhat taken me by surprise. She has suggested that:

If we are short of money, she will return the shirts she brought me today.

That asking her to consider hanging washing rather than tumbling it is to utilise time she does not have.

That I had used energy being at home, having a shower, and using my laptop all day. At her insistence no less as my plan had been to go into the office today before she asked me not to.

Her parting shot before going to bed was that “top job, I haven’t even had a shower today” .. when no less than 3 hours precious I had asked whilst cooking dinner if she was in the shower or not, and she said she’d rather have one tomorrow.

I’m a bit at a loss to be honest.

Am I the asshole?!?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/BrightonDBA on 2023-12-29 23:00:11+00:00.

Facts: We have an electric car. It provides data on its driving style, etc. We have smart meters, and so on. We have a 3 year old. I mostly work from home in an IT role.

Today I saw that our energy usage was nearly £14 by 8pm. I asked my wife to use energy more consciously, and to be considerate of things like multiple tumble dryer loads rather than just the immediate needs and to hang the rest, not to treat every red light as a race track green light when it appears, etc.

Her response has, in short, somewhat taken me by surprise. She has suggested that:

If we are short of money, she will return the shirts she brought me today.

That asking her to consider hanging washing rather than tumbling it is to utilise time she does not have.

That I had used energy being at home, having a shower, and using my laptop all day. At her insistence no less as my plan had been to go into the office today before she asked me not to.

Her parting shot before going to bed was that “top job, I haven’t even had a shower today” .. when no less than 3 hours precious I had asked whilst cooking dinner if she was in the shower or not, and she said she’d rather have one tomorrow.

I’m a bit at a loss to be honest.

Am I the asshole?!?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Accomplished-Lake903 on 2023-12-29 22:59:06+00:00.

I just got through a rough divorce. My wife of 8 years was caught having an affair with another man and when I found that out I was devastated and went immediately to start filing papers. It’s been 4 months since we officially separated and my daughter is taking the lack of maternal figure hard as she’s just starting to hit puberty and it will be harder for her without someone with experience in that regard to guide her.

I’ve tried to go no contact with her but she refuses to leave me and my daughter alone. My daughter was 2 when her mother, the love of my life passed away. About 3 years later I remarried to my now current ex wife Stephanie. She was really close with my daughter and did a great job helping raise her I will admit. My daughter views her as her mother since she was too young to remember her real mother.

Since the separation I’ve been adamant I do not want Stephanie in mine or my daughter’s life. My daughter was heart broken and while she was furious at Stephanie, she didn’t want to cut her out of her life. I get it’s hard for my daughter who now feels like she’s lost her mother, but the last thing I want is Stephanie to try and act like she has some right to seeing my daughter or for her to try and get my daughter to think I’m at fault for the divorce.

This week Stephanie came by the house when I was at work and brought my daughter presents and stayed at the house for several hours waiting for me to come home. I assume she thought since she brought gifts and my daughter was there I’d let her stay. I told Stephanie to leave before I call the police and my daughter started having a panic attack. Stephanie left and on the way out she told my daughter she’d call her. I said no she wasn’t and I’ve since had my daughter’s number changed and deleted Stephanie’s contact from her phone so she couldn’t remember the number.

My daughter is taking this really hard and I do feel so bad for her, but she needs to understand that Stephanie isn’t her mom, is a bad person, and doesn’t deserve my daughter in her life.

TLDR: Am I the asshole for not letting my ex of 10 years not see my 13 year old daughter anymore?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Accomplished-Lake903 on 2023-12-29 22:59:06+00:00.

I just got through a rough divorce. My wife of 8 years was caught having an affair with another man and when I found that out I was devastated and went immediately to start filing papers. It’s been 4 months since we officially separated and my daughter is taking the lack of maternal figure hard as she’s just starting to hit puberty and it will be harder for her without someone with experience in that regard to guide her.

I’ve tried to go no contact with her but she refuses to leave me and my daughter alone. My daughter was 2 when her mother, the love of my life passed away. About 3 years later I remarried to my now current ex wife Stephanie. She was really close with my daughter and did a great job helping raise her I will admit. My daughter views her as her mother since she was too young to remember her real mother.

Since the separation I’ve been adamant I do not want Stephanie in mine or my daughter’s life. My daughter was heart broken and while she was furious at Stephanie, she didn’t want to cut her out of her life. I get it’s hard for my daughter who now feels like she’s lost her mother, but the last thing I want is Stephanie to try and act like she has some right to seeing my daughter or for her to try and get my daughter to think I’m at fault for the divorce.

This week Stephanie came by the house when I was at work and brought my daughter presents and stayed at the house for several hours waiting for me to come home. I assume she thought since she brought gifts and my daughter was there I’d let her stay. I told Stephanie to leave before I call the police and my daughter started having a panic attack. Stephanie left and on the way out she told my daughter she’d call her. I said no she wasn’t and I’ve since had my daughter’s number changed and deleted Stephanie’s contact from her phone so she couldn’t remember the number.

My daughter is taking this really hard and I do feel so bad for her, but she needs to understand that Stephanie isn’t her mom, is a bad person, and doesn’t deserve my daughter in her life.

TLDR: Am I the asshole for not letting my ex of 10 years not see my 13 year old daughter anymore?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Electronic-Box2077 on 2023-12-29 22:56:40+00:00.

My dad left when I (14M) was 10. A few months after he left my mom and I moved to a different state. When people asked me where my dad was I told them that he's dead because I'd rather have a dad that didn't leave me by choice than one that did. Since then everyone I've met (who don't know my mom) think my dad is dea because that's what I told them and most people who are close to me thought my dad was dead.

My friends found out that my wasn't dead and they got really angry. They called me a bunch of things and said that I'm fake because I've been lying to them for our whole friendship. I didn't mean to upset them I just wanted people to think my dad still loved me. My friends haven't spoken to me since, AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Electronic-Box2077 on 2023-12-29 22:56:40+00:00.

My dad left when I (14M) was 10. A few months after he left my mom and I moved to a different state. When people asked me where my dad was I told them that he's dead because I'd rather have a dad that didn't leave me by choice than one that did. Since then everyone I've met (who don't know my mom) think my dad is dea because that's what I told them and most people who are close to me thought my dad was dead.

My friends found out that my wasn't dead and they got really angry. They called me a bunch of things and said that I'm fake because I've been lying to them for our whole friendship. I didn't mean to upset them I just wanted people to think my dad still loved me. My friends haven't spoken to me since, AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Even_Self733 on 2023-12-29 22:56:24+00:00.

Throwaway.

Hello Reddit sorry if this is the wrong place for this, hopefully you can help. My(30m) gf(30f) won a pre-designed tattoo and the design is really bad imo. My gf is really excited and happy about getting it. So WIBTA if she asks me for my opinion on it and I tell her what I honestly think? or should I just say "looks good" etc. ultimately I just want her to happy but also I don't want to lie to her if she asks my option on the tattoo, and I also don't want my opinion of it changing her mind about it. (I've told her before I don't care what she gets and just because I don't like something doesn't mean she should change her mind on it but she constantly does) anyway hopefully you can help me figure this out, Thanks!

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Even_Self733 on 2023-12-29 22:56:24+00:00.

Throwaway.

Hello Reddit sorry if this is the wrong place for this, hopefully you can help. My(30m) gf(30f) won a pre-designed tattoo and the design is really bad imo. My gf is really excited and happy about getting it. So WIBTA if she asks me for my opinion on it and I tell her what I honestly think? or should I just say "looks good" etc. ultimately I just want her to happy but also I don't want to lie to her if she asks my option on the tattoo, and I also don't want my opinion of it changing her mind about it. (I've told her before I don't care what she gets and just because I don't like something doesn't mean she should change her mind on it but she constantly does) anyway hopefully you can help me figure this out, Thanks!

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Adventurous-Offer175 on 2023-12-29 22:40:54+00:00.

I (63M) have taken my granddaughter (14F) in from her abusive mom about a year ago. I told her she was always welcome to come but recently I’ve kicked her out. Now this sounds bad but I’ve hated this boy to begin with and told her she’s too young to date. I’ve felt worried whenever she’s around him because he’s always hitting on other girls when she asked to date him and I refused. I refused because I didn’t want my perfect Angel to get hurt by some high school boy, but I’ve recently found out she’s been dating him behind my back. About a month ago we have had the same encounter with that boy, I was driving home and I saw her with that boy and once I realized that was her I turned the truck around and she was gone. I asked the boy and he said that there never was a girl with him and acted like I was crazy! But I definitely wasn’t! She was caught by me skipping school with that boy! I couldn’t believe it later that day I went and picked her up from school and then drove her home. We got into a heated argument where she then started lying her ass off. She said she was at a friends house during lunch time their friends were there to but she and him fell asleep and lost track of time and when they realized they quickly was walking back to the school. Now I definitely know she was lying! So I grounded her and said she can’t go out anymore, ever since then she has lost my trust. Now it has been a couple days before Christmas which she was getting ungrounded around that time anyways I was at work and I got a call from my wife saying that my wife walked into her room and saw that same boy sleeping in her bed! I was enraged! When I then got home I didn’t know what else I could do I grounded her and that didn’t work I took away her privileges with seeing her friends that didn’t work either! So I told her to pack her bags and she’s leaving to go stay at her aunts. I miss her very much and I am thinking I might have gone to far with this one so am I the asshole?