Am I the Asshole?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Adventurous-Offer175 on 2023-12-29 22:40:54+00:00.

I (63M) have taken my granddaughter (14F) in from her abusive mom about a year ago. I told her she was always welcome to come but recently I’ve kicked her out. Now this sounds bad but I’ve hated this boy to begin with and told her she’s too young to date. I’ve felt worried whenever she’s around him because he’s always hitting on other girls when she asked to date him and I refused. I refused because I didn’t want my perfect Angel to get hurt by some high school boy, but I’ve recently found out she’s been dating him behind my back. About a month ago we have had the same encounter with that boy, I was driving home and I saw her with that boy and once I realized that was her I turned the truck around and she was gone. I asked the boy and he said that there never was a girl with him and acted like I was crazy! But I definitely wasn’t! She was caught by me skipping school with that boy! I couldn’t believe it later that day I went and picked her up from school and then drove her home. We got into a heated argument where she then started lying her ass off. She said she was at a friends house during lunch time their friends were there to but she and him fell asleep and lost track of time and when they realized they quickly was walking back to the school. Now I definitely know she was lying! So I grounded her and said she can’t go out anymore, ever since then she has lost my trust. Now it has been a couple days before Christmas which she was getting ungrounded around that time anyways I was at work and I got a call from my wife saying that my wife walked into her room and saw that same boy sleeping in her bed! I was enraged! When I then got home I didn’t know what else I could do I grounded her and that didn’t work I took away her privileges with seeing her friends that didn’t work either! So I told her to pack her bags and she’s leaving to go stay at her aunts. I miss her very much and I am thinking I might have gone to far with this one so am I the asshole?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Fickle-Risk-4930 on 2023-12-29 22:39:13+00:00.

I'm a 30f and my husband is a 32m. We have one daughter, Madelyn (8f). I have a SIL, Jasmin (32f) and she has been having infertility issues for a while now and has had a couple of miscarriages. Jasmin and I aren't that close but we're friendly to each other.

She got pregnant a few months ago and she had her gender reveal party about 2 weeks ago. Everyone was so excited and happy when we found out she was having a girl.

During this year's family Christmas dinner, she announced that she was going to name her kid Madelyn, but spelt differently of course! (as if that made it any better) Her daughter's name was going to be Madilyn. I was completely shocked. Never in my wildest dreams did I expect that Jasmin would want to name her kid Madelyn as well. If she told me before we named our daughter, I probably would've taken that into consideration before naming her.

I asked Jasmin why she would want to name her daughter the same name as mine, and she said that technically it wasn't the same name since it was going to be spelt different. She also said that her great aunt's name was also Madilyn and that she thought that Madilyn was a cute name. Jasmin also mentioned that Madilyn was supposed to be the name of her kid before she had a miscarriage (this was before Madelyn was born). I never even knew that was what she wanted to name her kid because she never told anyone!

I was really upset and told her she could've just told me before I named my daughter that she also wanted to name her daughter Madelyn. She said that I was always such a witch and that I probably would've named my daughter Madelyn either way. I don't even know what I ever did to this woman. I then asked what we were going to do about the confusion of them having the same name and she told me we could use my daughter's middle name! Like, what? I told her if anything, we should be calling her daughter by her middle name since my daughter came first.

We went back and forth a few more times before I decided to leave early with my husband and Madelyn. My daughter was also pretty confused and asked why her aunt would want to name her daughter the same name as her. I'm still really upset and hopes she changes her mind, but this morning my BIL texted me and said that I should try to better understand Jasmin and her feelings. I texted him back and told him that she should stop being such a witch and try to understand my feelings instead. I really don't think I'm an asshole, but AITA?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Fickle-Risk-4930 on 2023-12-29 22:39:13+00:00.

I'm a 30f and my husband is a 32m. We have one daughter, Madelyn (8f). I have a SIL, Jasmin (32f) and she has been having infertility issues for a while now and has had a couple of miscarriages. Jasmin and I aren't that close but we're friendly to each other.

She got pregnant a few months ago and she had her gender reveal party about 2 weeks ago. Everyone was so excited and happy when we found out she was having a girl.

During this year's family Christmas dinner, she announced that she was going to name her kid Madelyn, but spelt differently of course! (as if that made it any better) Her daughter's name was going to be Madilyn. I was completely shocked. Never in my wildest dreams did I expect that Jasmin would want to name her kid Madelyn as well. If she told me before we named our daughter, I probably would've taken that into consideration before naming her.

I asked Jasmin why she would want to name her daughter the same name as mine, and she said that technically it wasn't the same name since it was going to be spelt different. She also said that her great aunt's name was also Madilyn and that she thought that Madilyn was a cute name. Jasmin also mentioned that Madilyn was supposed to be the name of her kid before she had a miscarriage (this was before Madelyn was born). I never even knew that was what she wanted to name her kid because she never told anyone!

I was really upset and told her she could've just told me before I named my daughter that she also wanted to name her daughter Madelyn. She said that I was always such a witch and that I probably would've named my daughter Madelyn either way. I don't even know what I ever did to this woman. I then asked what we were going to do about the confusion of them having the same name and she told me we could use my daughter's middle name! Like, what? I told her if anything, we should be calling her daughter by her middle name since my daughter came first.

We went back and forth a few more times before I decided to leave early with my husband and Madelyn. My daughter was also pretty confused and asked why her aunt would want to name her daughter the same name as her. I'm still really upset and hopes she changes her mind, but this morning my BIL texted me and said that I should try to better understand Jasmin and her feelings. I texted him back and told him that she should stop being such a witch and try to understand my feelings instead. I really don't think I'm an asshole, but AITA?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Opening-Exercise1619 on 2023-12-29 22:38:48+00:00.

I 29 female have a son, 10, named Ryan. I have been with my husband Jason, 36, for 6 years and he is the only father Ryan knows. Ryan has never met his biological father. I told him about Ryan and he didn’t believe me at the time and I did everything in my power to protect Ryan from feeling rejected. But I always was honest with Ryan and said if he ever wanted help finding them I’d help him.

Ryan has been asking lately about his biological father and his family. I’ve been answering as best I can and he wants to meet his biological grandparents. I had been thinking about it for a few months and I understand why he would want that. I didn’t tell Jason because he’s really sensitive about the topic.

I dropped off Ryan on a play date with a friend who lives in the same town his biological father’s parents lived in. I decided the worst case scenario would be them telling me they don’t want to meet him but I had to try and by Ryan not being there I could still protect him from potential rejection. Or the other worst case scenario would be that they moved and I didn’t know where they moved. I went to the house and knocked on the door.

My ex’s mom answered and she was surprised. I asked if I could come inside and talk to her. I told her about Ryan and that he’s been asking about them. She was certainly shocked and asked to see pictures. I told her she didn’t have to make a decision right away and if she wanted to talk to her son first I understood and gave her my number if she ever wanted to reach out.

That was a month ago so I assumed she didn’t. I received a phone call on Christmas that after a lot of thought her and husband want to meet Ryan when he’s ready.

At this point I told Jason and it became a huge fight. Today we thought Ryan was playing outside and had another argument about the situation. Jason said I had no excuse to go behind his back when he’s Ryan’s father. And I yelled back that he can’t take away Ryan’s biological father’s parents if he wants to meet them or he’ll resent us. Ryan must have come inside the house and we didn’t hear him. So he heard Jason say it would never happen and that he’d divorce me if it did. Ryan immediately started crying and ran to his room.

I told Jason I needed space and brought Ryan to my parents house. His family is saying I’m an AH since Jason is his father and my family has pretty split opinions. I just want to do what’s best for Ryan and he shouldn’t feel guilty for wanting that relationship. Him not having that was our choice not his. So AITA?

Edit:

It won’t allow me to comment so I’ll answer questions here. I saw someone comment about the bio dad not being in his life for a reason. It will was just as simple as we were young, he didn’t believe me, I didn’t push after Ryan was born, and never want after him for child support. He assumed it either wasn’t his kid or never bother to find out if I gave birth I don’t know which. The grandparents never knew. I thought it was his place to tell them not mine until Ryan wanted to know.

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Opening-Exercise1619 on 2023-12-29 22:38:48+00:00.

I 29 female have a son, 10, named Ryan. I have been with my husband Jason, 36, for 6 years and he is the only father Ryan knows. Ryan has never met his biological father. I told him about Ryan and he didn’t believe me at the time and I did everything in my power to protect Ryan from feeling rejected. But I always was honest with Ryan and said if he ever wanted help finding them I’d help him.

Ryan has been asking lately about his biological father and his family. I’ve been answering as best I can and he wants to meet his biological grandparents. I had been thinking about it for a few months and I understand why he would want that. I didn’t tell Jason because he’s really sensitive about the topic.

I dropped off Ryan on a play date with a friend who lives in the same town his biological father’s parents lived in. I decided the worst case scenario would be them telling me they don’t want to meet him but I had to try and by Ryan not being there I could still protect him from potential rejection. Or the other worst case scenario would be that they moved and I didn’t know where they moved. I went to the house and knocked on the door.

My ex’s mom answered and she was surprised. I asked if I could come inside and talk to her. I told her about Ryan and that he’s been asking about them. She was certainly shocked and asked to see pictures. I told her she didn’t have to make a decision right away and if she wanted to talk to her son first I understood and gave her my number if she ever wanted to reach out.

That was a month ago so I assumed she didn’t. I received a phone call on Christmas that after a lot of thought her and husband want to meet Ryan when he’s ready.

At this point I told Jason and it became a huge fight. Today we thought Ryan was playing outside and had another argument about the situation. Jason said I had no excuse to go behind his back when he’s Ryan’s father. And I yelled back that he can’t take away Ryan’s biological father’s parents if he wants to meet them or he’ll resent us. Ryan must have come inside the house and we didn’t hear him. So he heard Jason say it would never happen and that he’d divorce me if it did. Ryan immediately started crying and ran to his room.

I told Jason I needed space and brought Ryan to my parents house. His family is saying I’m an AH since Jason is his father and my family has pretty split opinions. I just want to do what’s best for Ryan and he shouldn’t feel guilty for wanting that relationship. Him not having that was our choice not his. So AITA?

Edit:

It won’t allow me to comment so I’ll answer questions here. I saw someone comment about the bio dad not being in his life for a reason. It will was just as simple as we were young, he didn’t believe me, I didn’t push after Ryan was born, and never want after him for child support. He assumed it either wasn’t his kid or never bother to find out if I gave birth I don’t know which. The grandparents never knew. I thought it was his place to tell them not mine until Ryan wanted to know.

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/poeticpyr0mancer on 2023-12-29 22:34:39+00:00.

i (20 y/o) just moved out of my mom and step dad's house. i had to get out, as my step dad was ruining the entire family. my mental health was worse than its ever been. my younger sister (15 y/o) left and went with my father before i left. my older sister (23 y/o) and i had been talking about moving out as soon as possible. we talked about saving money and i told her that if it needed to happen, we could live together, depending on prices. well, i got lucky and found a very good job, making good money. full time. my older sister works part time and just barely makes minimum wage. and with the money she does have, she won't spend on anything but extras for her games. she'd complain about not having food in the house, or not having razors, etc. but wouldn't go out and buy them. she'd make my mom do it, while i was buying my own groceries and necessities, even before i had this job. she also does not do anything of any contribution. while living with her, all she does is sit in her room and either sleeps or plays video games. she's woken me up countless times around 3am from her screaming on voice chat.

also want to add i'm not bashing anyone for gaming. i play video games in my free time, but that's literally ALL she does. she only left her room to eat food. times my parents left out of town and we were there by ourselves, i would cook for her, clean up her mess, and do everything or else nothing would've gotten done. she hardly showers, about once a week. she doesn't clean up after herself in the bathroom, or just anything in general. i'm very anal about things like that, and i hated cleaning up after her when we lived together. i don't want to do it now. it feels nice, for once, that i don't have to take care of my older sister. but, ever since i left, she's been very dismissive of me. we only used to talk occasionally, but when we did, the exchange felt much better and with less tension. she's become extremely dry, and she isn't a confronting person, so she'll never tell me to my face, but i can read her like a book and i know she's pissed that i left.

my minds telling me that it's really not my problem. and if she wants to leave that bad, she'd make it happen; she isn't my responsibility anymore. (never should've been, but i was always pressured to take care of my sister's) but my mom told me that was rude and that I'm a "narcissistic jerk".

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/poeticpyr0mancer on 2023-12-29 22:34:39+00:00.

i (20 y/o) just moved out of my mom and step dad's house. i had to get out, as my step dad was ruining the entire family. my mental health was worse than its ever been. my younger sister (15 y/o) left and went with my father before i left. my older sister (23 y/o) and i had been talking about moving out as soon as possible. we talked about saving money and i told her that if it needed to happen, we could live together, depending on prices. well, i got lucky and found a very good job, making good money. full time. my older sister works part time and just barely makes minimum wage. and with the money she does have, she won't spend on anything but extras for her games. she'd complain about not having food in the house, or not having razors, etc. but wouldn't go out and buy them. she'd make my mom do it, while i was buying my own groceries and necessities, even before i had this job. she also does not do anything of any contribution. while living with her, all she does is sit in her room and either sleeps or plays video games. she's woken me up countless times around 3am from her screaming on voice chat.

also want to add i'm not bashing anyone for gaming. i play video games in my free time, but that's literally ALL she does. she only left her room to eat food. times my parents left out of town and we were there by ourselves, i would cook for her, clean up her mess, and do everything or else nothing would've gotten done. she hardly showers, about once a week. she doesn't clean up after herself in the bathroom, or just anything in general. i'm very anal about things like that, and i hated cleaning up after her when we lived together. i don't want to do it now. it feels nice, for once, that i don't have to take care of my older sister. but, ever since i left, she's been very dismissive of me. we only used to talk occasionally, but when we did, the exchange felt much better and with less tension. she's become extremely dry, and she isn't a confronting person, so she'll never tell me to my face, but i can read her like a book and i know she's pissed that i left.

my minds telling me that it's really not my problem. and if she wants to leave that bad, she'd make it happen; she isn't my responsibility anymore. (never should've been, but i was always pressured to take care of my sister's) but my mom told me that was rude and that I'm a "narcissistic jerk".

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/honeyBadguh on 2023-12-29 22:33:58+00:00.

My (23F) boyfriend (25M) didn’t get me what I told him I wanted for Xmas and I’m actually a little hurt about it. I’m not sure if I’m just being unreasonable and entitled here.

We’ve been together for 1 1/2 years now and I’ve always kind of felt like he doesn’t listen to me or have much of a curiosity about me. I feel like a sound board for him sometimes. He asked what I wanted for XMas and I told him the only thing I wanted was for him to buy me a dress that he thought I would look nice in. He asked a couple times and I told him this each time.

Fast forward to XMas and he got me a different gift - but it was actually very sentimental and sweet. I loved the gift but can’t help but feel a little hurt that he didn’t listen to me.. and it kind of validated my insecurities that he doesn’t pay attention to what I say/doesn’t show interest in getting to know me. I’m not sure if I should bring this up to him, or if I’m just being an AH.

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/honeyBadguh on 2023-12-29 22:33:58+00:00.

My (23F) boyfriend (25M) didn’t get me what I told him I wanted for Xmas and I’m actually a little hurt about it. I’m not sure if I’m just being unreasonable and entitled here.

We’ve been together for 1 1/2 years now and I’ve always kind of felt like he doesn’t listen to me or have much of a curiosity about me. I feel like a sound board for him sometimes. He asked what I wanted for XMas and I told him the only thing I wanted was for him to buy me a dress that he thought I would look nice in. He asked a couple times and I told him this each time.

Fast forward to XMas and he got me a different gift - but it was actually very sentimental and sweet. I loved the gift but can’t help but feel a little hurt that he didn’t listen to me.. and it kind of validated my insecurities that he doesn’t pay attention to what I say/doesn’t show interest in getting to know me. I’m not sure if I should bring this up to him, or if I’m just being an AH.

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/SensitiveAries on 2023-12-29 22:29:54+00:00.

I (23F) was just hanging out in the living room with my mother (45F) when her husband (43F) came home from his lunch break. He’s a big smoker and often has phlegm. After chatting for a bit, he went into the bathroom, spit out some phlegm, flushed the toilet and did not wash his hands. All of which we can all hear because the bathroom is right off the living room. When he came out, I asked him in sort of jest because I had honestly thought maybe he’d forgotten, “You’re not going to wash your hands?”

To which he replied, “All I did was spit…”

I said, but he still touched the handle of the toilet which is covered in all sorts of nasty germs.

My mom cut in and was like, “SensitiveAries, really? Come on, stop it!”

I just said alright and left the living room because it had obviously gone beyond what I thought would be a (deprecating, sure) joke. She then texted me that I was being disrespectful and “totally out of line.”

I went back downstairs a little while later to get some food, when my mother approached me and asked “How would you feel if I told your boyfriend to wash his hands?”

I told her, “I would tell him too, because that’s nasty to me.”

She gave me a look and said, “What’s wrong with you?” I just affirmed that I think it’s unhygienic and returned to my room. Now the house is very tense and awkward.

I don’t think I did anything wrong and that my mother was just tone policing because I said it in a joking way. Or maybe that didn’t come across the right way and it was interpreted as a demand. I just don’t know whether I should apologize. Like, is that the norm and I’m just being a bit of hypochondriac?

TLDR: I told my mother’s husband to wash his hands after using the restroom and my mother told me I was out of line. AITA?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/SensitiveAries on 2023-12-29 22:29:54+00:00.

I (23F) was just hanging out in the living room with my mother (45F) when her husband (43F) came home from his lunch break. He’s a big smoker and often has phlegm. After chatting for a bit, he went into the bathroom, spit out some phlegm, flushed the toilet and did not wash his hands. All of which we can all hear because the bathroom is right off the living room. When he came out, I asked him in sort of jest because I had honestly thought maybe he’d forgotten, “You’re not going to wash your hands?”

To which he replied, “All I did was spit…”

I said, but he still touched the handle of the toilet which is covered in all sorts of nasty germs.

My mom cut in and was like, “SensitiveAries, really? Come on, stop it!”

I just said alright and left the living room because it had obviously gone beyond what I thought would be a (deprecating, sure) joke. She then texted me that I was being disrespectful and “totally out of line.”

I went back downstairs a little while later to get some food, when my mother approached me and asked “How would you feel if I told your boyfriend to wash his hands?”

I told her, “I would tell him too, because that’s nasty to me.”

She gave me a look and said, “What’s wrong with you?” I just affirmed that I think it’s unhygienic and returned to my room. Now the house is very tense and awkward.

I don’t think I did anything wrong and that my mother was just tone policing because I said it in a joking way. Or maybe that didn’t come across the right way and it was interpreted as a demand. I just don’t know whether I should apologize. Like, is that the norm and I’m just being a bit of hypochondriac?

TLDR: I told my mother’s husband to wash his hands after using the restroom and my mother told me I was out of line. AITA?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ghernandeznet1 on 2023-12-29 22:23:32+00:00.

I'm a medical interpreter in a large medical center, so I'm always on my feet heading from clinic to clinic, department to department to assist staff and patients communicate directly when there is a language barrier. As you can imagine, my throat gets sore for speaking a lot (I have to interpret from English to Spanish and vice-versa so folks can communicate with each other directly).

When is lunch break, I like to sit alone and avoid social interactions because I just want to rest, and enjoy some YouTube shows I follow. I'm also introverted, so I don't mind being alone.

However, the vast majority of my coworkers are extroverts. I sometimes hear sarcastic comments like "oh he likes to keep alone because he is fluent in two languages" or "maybe he doesn't like to hear our broken Spanish".

Am I appearing snobby or a douche for not interacting with them during lunch break?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ghernandeznet1 on 2023-12-29 22:23:32+00:00.

I'm a medical interpreter in a large medical center, so I'm always on my feet heading from clinic to clinic, department to department to assist staff and patients communicate directly when there is a language barrier. As you can imagine, my throat gets sore for speaking a lot (I have to interpret from English to Spanish and vice-versa so folks can communicate with each other directly).

When is lunch break, I like to sit alone and avoid social interactions because I just want to rest, and enjoy some YouTube shows I follow. I'm also introverted, so I don't mind being alone.

However, the vast majority of my coworkers are extroverts. I sometimes hear sarcastic comments like "oh he likes to keep alone because he is fluent in two languages" or "maybe he doesn't like to hear our broken Spanish".

Am I appearing snobby or a douche for not interacting with them during lunch break?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Infinite_Anywhere336 on 2023-12-29 22:21:10+00:00.

So I feel a little vulnerable posting this, as there are some personal parts about myself that I will have to explain in order for you all to get the full picture.

I am in a wheelchair and I completely care for my physical needs by myself, that being said, it's not always easy. I chose my current roommate because he was my best friend I was comfortable enough around him to not be fully dressed in my house, as pulling pants up is kind of a difficult thing for me. I don't show anything too crazy, I just wear a very large t-shirt (and underwear of course) around that covers all the important parts but shows my legs. I'm not comfortable with anyone but him seeing me in that state and I expressed this to him when we moved in together. It hasn't been an issue until recently when he started seeing a girl and would have her over at completely random times and doesn't tell me when she is here so I can put clothes on. I don't care when she is here, I just want to know about so I don't leave my room to use the restroom and have her see me in such a vulnerable state. This has already happened once. I have asked him countless times to send me a text message when she is here and when she leaves so I know when I can be comfortable and not have to struggle with clothing. He kept forgetting to text me at first, and has now expressed how ridiculous it is that I ask him to let me know, almost to the point of hostility. This is only the second time in my adult life having a roommate so I don't totally know if this is something that I am out of line asking for. Am I the asshole?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Infinite_Anywhere336 on 2023-12-29 22:21:10+00:00.

So I feel a little vulnerable posting this, as there are some personal parts about myself that I will have to explain in order for you all to get the full picture.

I am in a wheelchair and I completely care for my physical needs by myself, that being said, it's not always easy. I chose my current roommate because he was my best friend I was comfortable enough around him to not be fully dressed in my house, as pulling pants up is kind of a difficult thing for me. I don't show anything too crazy, I just wear a very large t-shirt (and underwear of course) around that covers all the important parts but shows my legs. I'm not comfortable with anyone but him seeing me in that state and I expressed this to him when we moved in together. It hasn't been an issue until recently when he started seeing a girl and would have her over at completely random times and doesn't tell me when she is here so I can put clothes on. I don't care when she is here, I just want to know about so I don't leave my room to use the restroom and have her see me in such a vulnerable state. This has already happened once. I have asked him countless times to send me a text message when she is here and when she leaves so I know when I can be comfortable and not have to struggle with clothing. He kept forgetting to text me at first, and has now expressed how ridiculous it is that I ask him to let me know, almost to the point of hostility. This is only the second time in my adult life having a roommate so I don't totally know if this is something that I am out of line asking for. Am I the asshole?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Common_Host_1745 on 2023-12-29 22:20:00+00:00.

For christmas my (17M) mom (36F) and step dad (40M) got an xbox for my little brother (12M). Ever since then he's been begging for me to give him a game that I have. I don't want to because it was a gift from my friend who passed away. I told him that was why I didn't want him to play the game. He told it me that I hardly ever play it so what's the bug deal. I repeated what I said and told him my decision was final. He kept telling me that because I hardly ever played it I should let him play it. After we argued for a while he ran off and told my step dad (his bio dad). My step dad said "It's just a game let your little brother play it", I told on him the same thing I told my brother. My little brother began to cry and said "It's his dream game" and "it's the only reason he wanted an xbox". My stepdad said I should give it to him because "look how much he wants it" I told him that if wanted his son to play that game he should buy it for his son. My stepdad started to get mad and said and said it belonged to everyone with an xbox. I told him no it didn't because it was a gift for me and that was my final decision. My brother started to throw a temper tantrum, ran into my room, looked through all my stuff (making my room a complete mess) and then found the game and started playing it. I was livid I started yelling at him and ripped away his controller and took back my game. We were arguing when mom got home. I told her everything and she sided with my saying that my brother could've waited till they (mom and stepdad) bought him one and was completely in the wrong for taking and playing my game. My mom got the game back to me and now her and my stepdad are fighting while my little brother throws a tantrum.

TL;DR my brother wants to play my game. I don't want him to play my game because I got it from a friend who passed away. Step dad gets mad and says I should "just let him play" and it's "just a game"

AITA?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/OwnMusic9387 on 2023-12-29 18:28:11+00:00.

I (25F) have a sister (15F) who is my mom's daughter with her second husband. My mom married my sister's dad when I was 8, just a few months after my dad died. My parents marriage was over pretty much when he died. I'm almost positive she was with my sister's dad before my dad died and before the marriage was basically over. But their marriage was shitty so maybe it doesn't matter. Not sure dad would have even cared at the point when he died. They were not good together.

My mom's husband/sister's dad is my stepdad. But really he's my mom's husband. I'm not close to him. I don't have much to say about him. I think he can be a jerk but he's good to my mom and good to my sister and brother (12M). He would have adopted me and been good to me but he's not someone I would have wanted to be adopted by, if I wanted to be adopted. It's a lot about him as a person and his views and stuff he says about people and somewhat about him not being so great about my dad after he and mom got married but I digress.

My sister knows I don't really have much of a relationship with her dad. I do the bare minimum and if mom died tomorrow or they divorced tomorrow, I wouldn't remain in touch with him. He knows it. Mom knows it. My siblings at least pick up on it.

I gave my son a name that honors not just my dad but my aunts and uncles and grandparents too. It's a name that connects to the family as a whole but gives him his own identity and is also a name we (my husband and myself) love.

After my son was born my sister made some comments that I should have honored her dad in his name somehow. I told her that wasn't something we wanted to do but she could always do so in the future if she wanted. She did not let it drop. She mentioned it every time I saw her for the next month. When I did not give in and add a different middle name or change his name completely, she told me her dad was upset that we honored my dad and his side of the family but didn't honor him at all. I told her again she could always do it. I told my mom and her husband they needed to speak to my sister and tell her to stop mentioning it and I told him to stop letting my sister know he hates not being honored.

They didn't listen and just before Christmas my sister came over to tell me yet again that her dad wanted to be honored in my son's name and hates that he wasn't and that he feels hurt. I told her I don't care what her dad wants. He's not my dad and I honored my dad and my paternal family and that's my right when my son is mine and my husband's child. I told her to honor her own dad when she has kids if she wants.

She got really upset and told me I should care about what her dad wants because he has been my dad too since I was 8 and I shouldn't dismiss him so easily.

AITA?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Somewhere330 on 2023-12-29 18:14:32+00:00.

I am a 41f mother of two wonderful little kids, a son named JC, 5m, and a daughter named Sierra, 10f. They are both not my biological children; I have adopted them both with my husband, 42m.

Last December/early January, it was a bit hectic for my family, and multiple coincidences came together to wear us down. My husband and I are both scientists (he is self-employed and an adjunct professor while I am a federal employee for the DOD) and starting Dec 27th 2022 – Jan 3 2023, he had to fly overseas for important work. Not only that, but my team was absolutely swamped with work around the time my husband was gone. NOT ONLY THAT, but JC’s birthday is on Dec 31st. What this all meant was that I spent JC’s entire birthday working, and I had Jan 1st off. I slept in on New Years Day, and the plan was to celebrate both NY and JC’s birthday on Jan 2nd. That really upset my son, and he started crying and he even kicked the wall. I immediately disciplined him, and I had him locked up in my bedroom for a 30 minute timeout; he was not allowed to talk to anyone or have any entertainment. This is my most common form of discipline for JC.

30 minutes was up, and I went upstairs to let JC out and talk to him about why exactly I disciplined him….and I saw that there was some string coming out of my bedroom and going into Sierra’s bedroom. It turned out that Sierra and JC had that cup-and-string phone that they like to play with from time to time, and somehow, Sierra snuck it into my bedroom so that she could talk with JC during his time-out. She was probably bad-mouthing me and spoiling her little brother. So I grabbed some scissors and I snipped the string, and I gave JC an extra 15 minutes of time-out. This time, I sat just outside Sierra’s bedroom door so that she couldn’t console her brother.

AITA for this? I’m asking because, last night, Sierra came up to me and she bluntly asked me if this NY is going to be like the last one.

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/OwnMusic9387 on 2023-12-29 18:28:11+00:00.

I (25F) have a sister (15F) who is my mom's daughter with her second husband. My mom married my sister's dad when I was 8, just a few months after my dad died. My parents marriage was over pretty much when he died. I'm almost positive she was with my sister's dad before my dad died and before the marriage was basically over. But their marriage was shitty so maybe it doesn't matter. Not sure dad would have even cared at the point when he died. They were not good together.

My mom's husband/sister's dad is my stepdad. But really he's my mom's husband. I'm not close to him. I don't have much to say about him. I think he can be a jerk but he's good to my mom and good to my sister and brother (12M). He would have adopted me and been good to me but he's not someone I would have wanted to be adopted by, if I wanted to be adopted. It's a lot about him as a person and his views and stuff he says about people and somewhat about him not being so great about my dad after he and mom got married but I digress.

My sister knows I don't really have much of a relationship with her dad. I do the bare minimum and if mom died tomorrow or they divorced tomorrow, I wouldn't remain in touch with him. He knows it. Mom knows it. My siblings at least pick up on it.

I gave my son a name that honors not just my dad but my aunts and uncles and grandparents too. It's a name that connects to the family as a whole but gives him his own identity and is also a name we (my husband and myself) love.

After my son was born my sister made some comments that I should have honored her dad in his name somehow. I told her that wasn't something we wanted to do but she could always do so in the future if she wanted. She did not let it drop. She mentioned it every time I saw her for the next month. When I did not give in and add a different middle name or change his name completely, she told me her dad was upset that we honored my dad and his side of the family but didn't honor him at all. I told her again she could always do it. I told my mom and her husband they needed to speak to my sister and tell her to stop mentioning it and I told him to stop letting my sister know he hates not being honored.

They didn't listen and just before Christmas my sister came over to tell me yet again that her dad wanted to be honored in my son's name and hates that he wasn't and that he feels hurt. I told her I don't care what her dad wants. He's not my dad and I honored my dad and my paternal family and that's my right when my son is mine and my husband's child. I told her to honor her own dad when she has kids if she wants.

She got really upset and told me I should care about what her dad wants because he has been my dad too since I was 8 and I shouldn't dismiss him so easily.

AITA?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/No_Rise_7547 on 2023-12-29 18:14:24+00:00.

My partner and I have been up extensively discussing this, and unfortunately there’s a weirdness now lingering.

Basically I was hanging out with my partners and his friends. After playing cards we all moved into the lounge room to watch a movie.

There’s five of us in the room. I softly suggested to my partner to come lie on the couch with me to watch the movie. The couch is big—three adults could comfortably lie down—and there’s also two mattresses on the floor which the other two people took.

My partner refused to be near out of consideration for everyone in the room. He didn’t want to make the dynamic weird because “we’re a couple and we’re hanging out with everyone”.

I sometimes have been feeling unfulfilled in the relationship, mostly because of the difference in love languages and having to constantly communicate this. He’s a great guy, but he told me I needed to “just get with it/harden up”, when he’s not willing to budge.

Maybe I should harden up or maybe he should’ve taken the cue. Mindful not to neglect my own needs and continue not having this “need” met.

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Somewhere330 on 2023-12-29 18:14:32+00:00.

I am a 41f mother of two wonderful little kids, a son named JC, 5m, and a daughter named Sierra, 10f. They are both not my biological children; I have adopted them both with my husband, 42m.

Last December/early January, it was a bit hectic for my family, and multiple coincidences came together to wear us down. My husband and I are both scientists (he is self-employed and an adjunct professor while I am a federal employee for the DOD) and starting Dec 27th 2022 – Jan 3 2023, he had to fly overseas for important work. Not only that, but my team was absolutely swamped with work around the time my husband was gone. NOT ONLY THAT, but JC’s birthday is on Dec 31st. What this all meant was that I spent JC’s entire birthday working, and I had Jan 1st off. I slept in on New Years Day, and the plan was to celebrate both NY and JC’s birthday on Jan 2nd. That really upset my son, and he started crying and he even kicked the wall. I immediately disciplined him, and I had him locked up in my bedroom for a 30 minute timeout; he was not allowed to talk to anyone or have any entertainment. This is my most common form of discipline for JC.

30 minutes was up, and I went upstairs to let JC out and talk to him about why exactly I disciplined him….and I saw that there was some string coming out of my bedroom and going into Sierra’s bedroom. It turned out that Sierra and JC had that cup-and-string phone that they like to play with from time to time, and somehow, Sierra snuck it into my bedroom so that she could talk with JC during his time-out. She was probably bad-mouthing me and spoiling her little brother. So I grabbed some scissors and I snipped the string, and I gave JC an extra 15 minutes of time-out. This time, I sat just outside Sierra’s bedroom door so that she couldn’t console her brother.

AITA for this? I’m asking because, last night, Sierra came up to me and she bluntly asked me if this NY is going to be like the last one.

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/No_Rise_7547 on 2023-12-29 18:14:24+00:00.

My partner and I have been up extensively discussing this, and unfortunately there’s a weirdness now lingering.

Basically I was hanging out with my partners and his friends. After playing cards we all moved into the lounge room to watch a movie.

There’s five of us in the room. I softly suggested to my partner to come lie on the couch with me to watch the movie. The couch is big—three adults could comfortably lie down—and there’s also two mattresses on the floor which the other two people took.

My partner refused to be near out of consideration for everyone in the room. He didn’t want to make the dynamic weird because “we’re a couple and we’re hanging out with everyone”.

I sometimes have been feeling unfulfilled in the relationship, mostly because of the difference in love languages and having to constantly communicate this. He’s a great guy, but he told me I needed to “just get with it/harden up”, when he’s not willing to budge.

Maybe I should harden up or maybe he should’ve taken the cue. Mindful not to neglect my own needs and continue not having this “need” met.

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/fgcmarenight on 2023-12-29 18:09:30+00:00.

My boyfriend asks me to buy him food occasionally when he hasn’t eaten. I stupidly give him money because I cared and didn’t want him to starve, but today i’ve had enough. Since his credit card has been cancelled for almost a year, I ask him if he could start going to the bank to withdraw money into his cash app. He always says I don’t understand why he wont do it and that he’s trying to save up money and not spend money on “stupid shit”. This is the same person who prioritizes most of his money on gaming monetizations. Yes he has a job, and pays $450 of rent to his parents house. He used his paycheck money to pay bills, but gaslights me and says he uses his money in his savings account to pay for bills. So he can pay bills but cant withdraw cash to buy food?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/fgcmarenight on 2023-12-29 18:09:30+00:00.

My boyfriend asks me to buy him food occasionally when he hasn’t eaten. I stupidly give him money because I cared and didn’t want him to starve, but today i’ve had enough. Since his credit card has been cancelled for almost a year, I ask him if he could start going to the bank to withdraw money into his cash app. He always says I don’t understand why he wont do it and that he’s trying to save up money and not spend money on “stupid shit”. This is the same person who prioritizes most of his money on gaming monetizations. Yes he has a job, and pays $450 of rent to his parents house. He used his paycheck money to pay bills, but gaslights me and says he uses his money in his savings account to pay for bills. So he can pay bills but cant withdraw cash to buy food?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Known-Ad-4953 on 2023-12-29 18:08:23+00:00.

My(26f) boyfriend (30m) got really upset with me and I’m genuinely confused. About two weeks before Christmas I asked him if he wanted to change gifts and he told me no. Well fast forward to Christmas Day and I post a picture of my bathroom door decorations and the things I got myself. For context I do this every year to remind myself it’s okay to buy new clothes every once in a while (I’m typically very frugal).

On to the issue, when we met up for dinner he was extremely distant and short with me. I asked him what was on his mind and he told me “it was the fact he didn’t do those things for me”. I was still confused and asked him to clarify and he told me “Treating yourself and having fun with me on Christmas is just weird to me. I mean I understand that I work and you want a you day but still”. I really don’t see anything wrong, but then again I only really see things at face value most times. Please help me understand. Am I the asshole here, is there even an asshole?

TLDR; my bf said we aren’t exchanging gifts so I bough myself some clothes and wine.