Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Sparklebottom50 on 2023-12-29 18:06:25+00:00.

My GF and I had a fight over some games of rock, paper, scissors. We sometimes use this silly game to determine who does a particular chore, (best of three, loser does chore). This morning, we played over who makes breakfast. I threw out nothing but rock, until she started matching me with rock. I threw out paper, and won, but now, my gf is convinced that I'm cheating and refused to do the chore. She wanted an apology for cheating, and when I told her she was being silly, she got upset, sparking a fight. So Reddit, AITA? Can you cheat in rock, paper, scissors, or is my gf being a silly goose?

Tl;dr: gf thinks I cheated in rock, paper, scissors and got upset.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Known-Ad-4953 on 2023-12-29 18:08:23+00:00.

My(26f) boyfriend (30m) got really upset with me and I’m genuinely confused. About two weeks before Christmas I asked him if he wanted to change gifts and he told me no. Well fast forward to Christmas Day and I post a picture of my bathroom door decorations and the things I got myself. For context I do this every year to remind myself it’s okay to buy new clothes every once in a while (I’m typically very frugal).

On to the issue, when we met up for dinner he was extremely distant and short with me. I asked him what was on his mind and he told me “it was the fact he didn’t do those things for me”. I was still confused and asked him to clarify and he told me “Treating yourself and having fun with me on Christmas is just weird to me. I mean I understand that I work and you want a you day but still”. I really don’t see anything wrong, but then again I only really see things at face value most times. Please help me understand. Am I the asshole here, is there even an asshole?

TLDR; my bf said we aren’t exchanging gifts so I bough myself some clothes and wine.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Enrico_Dandolo27 on 2023-12-29 18:05:39+00:00.

Setting: I live in the north and it recently snowed, so we had snowbanks and slick roads everywhere. Im driving home from work. In front of me is an older woman who has been driving slowly and weaving/drifting. She stays in her lane, but will sometimes cross the white line or drive on top of the double yellow line.

We are approaching a stoplight that has a double left turn lane. She gets in the right left turn lane, I’m in the left left turn lane. We’re next to each other. The light goes green and we both proceed into the intersection

Now, something about this intersection. The duel left turn lanes are VERY tight and both lanes require you to be paying full attention. The inner lane is VERY VERY tight and there is a legitimate risk you’ll hit any cars if you turn too early. The outer lane goes far into the intersection before actually turning, making it look like you’re gonna drive into oncoming traffic.

So the older lady in the outer lane, predictably, begins to take her turn a little too tightly, and crosses the dashed white line into my lane. I honk. It startles her, and instead of braking, slams the gas pedal and hits the curb, hitting a snowbank and pedestrian crosswalk signal. No one was injured or hurt, but her car is beat up.

I pull forward and off to the side, run over to her (along with a few others) to make sure she is alright. she starts screaming that “I did this to her” and she will “make sure I pay.” I asked someone else to stay by for the cops to be a witness cause I think she was gonna blame me.

The cops come. We both tell our stories (she claims I drifted into her lane and she had to “dodge to avoid me hitting her” but luckily, people nearby told the cop what I did) and the cops eventually let me go.

Over the last few days, I’ve been telling this story and multiple people said I was the asshole, saying I didn’t need to honk and could have easily let her go. It kind of filled me with doubt about the situation, so I thought I’d ask the internet for clarification. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Sparklebottom50 on 2023-12-29 18:06:25+00:00.

My GF and I had a fight over some games of rock, paper, scissors. We sometimes use this silly game to determine who does a particular chore, (best of three, loser does chore). This morning, we played over who makes breakfast. I threw out nothing but rock, until she started matching me with rock. I threw out paper, and won, but now, my gf is convinced that I'm cheating and refused to do the chore. She wanted an apology for cheating, and when I told her she was being silly, she got upset, sparking a fight. So Reddit, AITA? Can you cheat in rock, paper, scissors, or is my gf being a silly goose?

Tl;dr: gf thinks I cheated in rock, paper, scissors and got upset.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/rebootedisgood on 2023-12-29 18:01:41+00:00.

So I (23m) and my gf (22f) have been dating since year 11 (15-16 years old) and we've always had an open minded relationship. During Halloween me and my mates were planning a 1 week trip to Monza in Italy to tour the Autodromo Nazionale Monza which is a famous race track that hosts the Formula One Italian Grand Prix.

So after a week of talking with my mates about the trip and booking our rooms and tickets I go to speak to my girlfriend about the trip and tell her that we'll be gone from Monday morning till Sunday evening, she at first said it was ok as she was going back to her hometown of Abergavenny (pronounced aber-gev-enni) to see her nain and taid (Welsh for grandma and grandpa) who she hasnt seen for a couple of months.

So I tell me mates that my gf is cool with me going and I start packing, 2 days before the trip my gf comes up to me and says "You need to cancel the trip my nain isn't well", I tell her that me and my mates have planned this trips for ages and I gave her a week's notice, she goes on to say that "you guys can just reschedule the trip, not as if the circuits going anywhere". I got annoyed at that comment as she knows how much I love Formula one since I started watching it back in 2013 with my dad. So I tell her that "No we can't reschedule the trip, we leave tomorrow morning". She calls me a b*tch and goes to the living room.

I sent her a message in the morning as I left for the airport saying "I'm leaving now, I'll text you once we've landed in Monza", she replies back 10 minutes later as I'm leaving Cardiff to head to Bristol airport with "k".

We had a lovely time in Monza and it was great fun going around Autodromo Nazionale Monza, seeing where Marcus Ericsson crashed, where Charles Leclerc went flying into a barrier (he survived) and where Lewis Hamilton and Max Verstappen came together in 2021.

I just want to know whether or not I am jerk for going on a trip while my girlfriend cared for her nain, my mates tell me that I'm not a jerk and that I can't control when people get sick but my parents say I could've handled it better

So Reddit, AITA

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Enrico_Dandolo27 on 2023-12-29 18:05:39+00:00.

Setting: I live in the north and it recently snowed, so we had snowbanks and slick roads everywhere. Im driving home from work. In front of me is an older woman who has been driving slowly and weaving/drifting. She stays in her lane, but will sometimes cross the white line or drive on top of the double yellow line.

We are approaching a stoplight that has a double left turn lane. She gets in the right left turn lane, I’m in the left left turn lane. We’re next to each other. The light goes green and we both proceed into the intersection

Now, something about this intersection. The duel left turn lanes are VERY tight and both lanes require you to be paying full attention. The inner lane is VERY VERY tight and there is a legitimate risk you’ll hit any cars if you turn too early. The outer lane goes far into the intersection before actually turning, making it look like you’re gonna drive into oncoming traffic.

So the older lady in the outer lane, predictably, begins to take her turn a little too tightly, and crosses the dashed white line into my lane. I honk. It startles her, and instead of braking, slams the gas pedal and hits the curb, hitting a snowbank and pedestrian crosswalk signal. No one was injured or hurt, but her car is beat up.

I pull forward and off to the side, run over to her (along with a few others) to make sure she is alright. she starts screaming that “I did this to her” and she will “make sure I pay.” I asked someone else to stay by for the cops to be a witness cause I think she was gonna blame me.

The cops come. We both tell our stories (she claims I drifted into her lane and she had to “dodge to avoid me hitting her” but luckily, people nearby told the cop what I did) and the cops eventually let me go.

Over the last few days, I’ve been telling this story and multiple people said I was the asshole, saying I didn’t need to honk and could have easily let her go. It kind of filled me with doubt about the situation, so I thought I’d ask the internet for clarification. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/SmokingCucumbers on 2023-12-29 17:44:41+00:00.

Long time lurker, first time poster.

I'm a 27 year old female and my boyfriend (Tom) is 33, we've been together for 7 years. We live together in an apartment I own, no kids (we're both childfree by choice). I work full time and he works part time.

I started smoking weed a couple of years ago, which my boyfriend doesn't partake in due to anxiety issues. He's never expressed any concern until recently. Just to make things clear for you guys, I have conditions that I set myself: I only buy weed when I can afford it, so all my bills get paid, my cat always has plenty of food and litter, and my partner and I have money for food and entertainment like the cinema, eating out, etc. I only smoke in the evening once I've finished work and chores, and mostly it's just a small bowl (I have indulged a bit more over the Christmas period but I'm now decreasing the amount as we get to new year).

So I've been coughing a bit more recently, and I'm honestly not that concerned. It's not a hacking cough, I don't have mucus or chest pain, but my partner said last night that I need to quit smoking and he is worried about me. I have ordered a dry herb vape as an alternative method of smoking, but I made it clear to my partner that I am not willing to quit at this moment in time.

My boyfriend blew up and now every time I cough he looks at me accusingly and says "you really need to quit" the thing is the coughs are very infrequent, I'd understand if it was constant but it's literally less than 10 times a day and it lasts for like 5 seconds.

My partner said I'm selfish and an asshole for not quitting, but I think I have every right to continue. AITA or is my partner being unreasonable?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/rebootedisgood on 2023-12-29 18:01:41+00:00.

So I (23m) and my gf (22f) have been dating since year 11 (15-16 years old) and we've always had an open minded relationship. During Halloween me and my mates were planning a 1 week trip to Monza in Italy to tour the Autodromo Nazionale Monza which is a famous race track that hosts the Formula One Italian Grand Prix.

So after a week of talking with my mates about the trip and booking our rooms and tickets I go to speak to my girlfriend about the trip and tell her that we'll be gone from Monday morning till Sunday evening, she at first said it was ok as she was going back to her hometown of Abergavenny (pronounced aber-gev-enni) to see her nain and taid (Welsh for grandma and grandpa) who she hasnt seen for a couple of months.

So I tell me mates that my gf is cool with me going and I start packing, 2 days before the trip my gf comes up to me and says "You need to cancel the trip my nain isn't well", I tell her that me and my mates have planned this trips for ages and I gave her a week's notice, she goes on to say that "you guys can just reschedule the trip, not as if the circuits going anywhere". I got annoyed at that comment as she knows how much I love Formula one since I started watching it back in 2013 with my dad. So I tell her that "No we can't reschedule the trip, we leave tomorrow morning". She calls me a b*tch and goes to the living room.

I sent her a message in the morning as I left for the airport saying "I'm leaving now, I'll text you once we've landed in Monza", she replies back 10 minutes later as I'm leaving Cardiff to head to Bristol airport with "k".

We had a lovely time in Monza and it was great fun going around Autodromo Nazionale Monza, seeing where Marcus Ericsson crashed, where Charles Leclerc went flying into a barrier (he survived) and where Lewis Hamilton and Max Verstappen came together in 2021.

I just want to know whether or not I am jerk for going on a trip while my girlfriend cared for her nain, my mates tell me that I'm not a jerk and that I can't control when people get sick but my parents say I could've handled it better

So Reddit, AITA

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ThrowRABambino on 2023-12-29 17:39:46+00:00.

My (28m) girlfriend of about 3 years (27f) accepted a job about a year ago working hybrid for a high profile insurance company. This is her first “real” job since earning her degree last year. Her work year this year has had ups and downs. She enjoys working for the insurance company, but she will often times call me crying about how the expectations are super high or how she is feeling stressed and unsure about the position. She has also voiced to me that she feels like she is starting to show a lot of people pleasing tendencies that she doesn’t necessarily like. To this point it hasn’t had an impact on our relationship, but I could see it being a sticking point because of an interaction that happened today.

Fast forward to this morning. We are laying in bed and it is about 8:15 am (she usually doesn’t start work until 9:30 and I’m a teacher on winter break). We had just woken up she turned over to me to say good morning and all of a sudden she was on the phone with work. She got off the phone and said she had to go back to her apartment to get her work computer and start working right away. I asked her if she could take a few moments to get her morning started and get herself in the right mindset to start work. To which she asked “do you want me to have a job”. She got dressed and I took her home and we chatted on the way but I could tell she was very upset.

I just want her to have some light boundaries with work especially since she works remote most of the time. I can tell that she will get burnt out quickly if she continues to drop everything for her job and I’m worried her relationships with her family, friends, and me are going to start to suffer if she continues this way. I also don’t necessarily love starting my morning with hearing her work calls from bed. However, I understand her wanting to do a good job and show her bosses she is a great worker that knows what she is doing. So, am I the asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/SmokingCucumbers on 2023-12-29 17:44:41+00:00.

Long time lurker, first time poster.

I'm a 27 year old female and my boyfriend (Tom) is 33, we've been together for 7 years. We live together in an apartment I own, no kids (we're both childfree by choice). I work full time and he works part time.

I started smoking weed a couple of years ago, which my boyfriend doesn't partake in due to anxiety issues. He's never expressed any concern until recently. Just to make things clear for you guys, I have conditions that I set myself: I only buy weed when I can afford it, so all my bills get paid, my cat always has plenty of food and litter, and my partner and I have money for food and entertainment like the cinema, eating out, etc. I only smoke in the evening once I've finished work and chores, and mostly it's just a small bowl (I have indulged a bit more over the Christmas period but I'm now decreasing the amount as we get to new year).

So I've been coughing a bit more recently, and I'm honestly not that concerned. It's not a hacking cough, I don't have mucus or chest pain, but my partner said last night that I need to quit smoking and he is worried about me. I have ordered a dry herb vape as an alternative method of smoking, but I made it clear to my partner that I am not willing to quit at this moment in time.

My boyfriend blew up and now every time I cough he looks at me accusingly and says "you really need to quit" the thing is the coughs are very infrequent, I'd understand if it was constant but it's literally less than 10 times a day and it lasts for like 5 seconds.

My partner said I'm selfish and an asshole for not quitting, but I think I have every right to continue. AITA or is my partner being unreasonable?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/PuzzledTax3521 on 2023-12-29 17:38:50+00:00.

So I (18M) have a half sister Elizabeth (26F). We share a mom. My dad became her stepdad when she was 5/6. Her dad is/was a deadbeat. She never knew him really. She did have his mom in her life for a while until she died when Elizabeth was 7ish.

My dad really did his best to be a good stepdad and father figure for Elizabeth. My mom always hoped Elizabeth would grow to love my dad and consider him her dad. He went above and beyond from what I can tell for her. They also made sure she didn't feel replaced or ignored after I was born. But she always had some kind of distain for my dad. Unless she wanted something/could get something from him. She would tell him that he was not her dad or parent but if she wanted something or if Christmas/her birthday she would not call him dad but would mention he wanted to be.

She never gave a shit about me and was coolly indifferent to me my whole life, with some honest dislike mixed in. I felt it. She admitted it. She told me constantly that we weren't real siblings and she didn't give a shit about me. But she would play pretend when others were watching. There were times she really gave a good show too. But when nobody was looking her true colors shone through.

Nothing changed when she became an adult. I don't think we have said a single thing to each other in the 8 years since she moved out. And we have been in the same room since then.

My dad still does his best to be there for her but she still treats him like he's a stain on her shoe.

She got engaged a few months ago and told my dad this whole spiel about how he was there for her, etc, and how they weren't sure if they could afford a nice wedding and she was wondering if he would pay. He said of course. She practically ran like her ass was on fire once she got the money. Then she announced that she had met her bio dad and he would be father of the bride at her wedding and my dad was a regular old guest. My dad took it all in stride but mom took it badly and she cried when she realized Elizabeth had used him for money. She realized Elizabeth never once said she appreciated or was glad dad had done all this nice stuff. Just that he had.

I wasn't mentioned on the invite for the wedding and never got my own but when mom asked she said sure I was invited. That basically told me all I needed to know but even before that I didn't care if I was invited, I knew I wouldn't go.

I told my parents. Mom was upset. She said we were so close, etc. I told her no and pointed out how she has admitted to my face she doesn't give a shit and how she hasn't said a single word to me since I was 10. My dad had his eyes open somewhat but said he would still go, he still loves her, etc. I told him he should take a stand given all he is to her is someone who buys nice things, not someone she cares about at all. My mom said that wasn't fair. We need to be there for the wedding. I shouldn't encourage dad to stop caring. She said I'm behaving badly like Elizabeth has.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ThrowRABambino on 2023-12-29 17:39:46+00:00.

My (28m) girlfriend of about 3 years (27f) accepted a job about a year ago working hybrid for a high profile insurance company. This is her first “real” job since earning her degree last year. Her work year this year has had ups and downs. She enjoys working for the insurance company, but she will often times call me crying about how the expectations are super high or how she is feeling stressed and unsure about the position. She has also voiced to me that she feels like she is starting to show a lot of people pleasing tendencies that she doesn’t necessarily like. To this point it hasn’t had an impact on our relationship, but I could see it being a sticking point because of an interaction that happened today.

Fast forward to this morning. We are laying in bed and it is about 8:15 am (she usually doesn’t start work until 9:30 and I’m a teacher on winter break). We had just woken up she turned over to me to say good morning and all of a sudden she was on the phone with work. She got off the phone and said she had to go back to her apartment to get her work computer and start working right away. I asked her if she could take a few moments to get her morning started and get herself in the right mindset to start work. To which she asked “do you want me to have a job”. She got dressed and I took her home and we chatted on the way but I could tell she was very upset.

I just want her to have some light boundaries with work especially since she works remote most of the time. I can tell that she will get burnt out quickly if she continues to drop everything for her job and I’m worried her relationships with her family, friends, and me are going to start to suffer if she continues this way. I also don’t necessarily love starting my morning with hearing her work calls from bed. However, I understand her wanting to do a good job and show her bosses she is a great worker that knows what she is doing. So, am I the asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Z_is_e on 2023-12-29 17:37:34+00:00.

Me(18F) just turned 18 my mum (48F)wants to see my bank statement. My mum is manipulative and a narcissist. She and my dad have been divorced since i was 1 and they have constantly had issues with each other. my dad stopped paying child support during covid since he lost his job and my mum not giving him any second chances or anything stopped me from seeing him although i secretly do he now works in finance again. He gives me spending money each month secretly but can't visit me often since its 2 hours away from where i live. However he makes the effort by giving me some extra money despite only seeing him once a month since hes busy away on business all the time. my mum when she did receive child support she would immediately spend it on designer clothes and shoes and bags and would not buy me anything unless she had to out of appearances.

im asian every year she would take my red packet money from my father and relatives and then spend it on herself. i managed so save enough red packet money for a few university fees to settle down but when i turned 18 she had transferred my savings into her account. my half brother (27) however has always been her favourite child.she would sometimes donate my clothes and toys to her friends when i wasn't looking and as a child i would search all over for my toys i had formed an attachment to only for it to disappear the next day in another kids hands.when he wanted a new phone she would buy but when i lost mine she would complain and degrade me for wasting her money.

im currently in college and managed to get offers from a few Russell group uni's but despite being a better academic performer than my half brother i still will never be loved like him. All the savings for uni has been transferred to her account.she has forced me to print out bank statements.This isn't the first time shes stolen money off me.she is NOT struggling with money she only works the extra job to pay for my ungrateful brother's wants as well simply put it greed.

Traditionally asian weddings give valuables when my dad married my mother she was given many precious pieces worth probably over a a few million pounds at least for her to give my inheritance away to my brother since he was struggling to live in London (PS: he lives in Kensington and Chelsea) why is my inheritance be given to a illegitimate child who was the result of a one night stand with a random guy when she was about 18.

Now she is guilt tripping me by saying she didn't deserve all of this since she raised me alone and without help (ps she didn't want his help).

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/PuzzledTax3521 on 2023-12-29 17:38:50+00:00.

So I (18M) have a half sister Elizabeth (26F). We share a mom. My dad became her stepdad when she was 5/6. Her dad is/was a deadbeat. She never knew him really. She did have his mom in her life for a while until she died when Elizabeth was 7ish.

My dad really did his best to be a good stepdad and father figure for Elizabeth. My mom always hoped Elizabeth would grow to love my dad and consider him her dad. He went above and beyond from what I can tell for her. They also made sure she didn't feel replaced or ignored after I was born. But she always had some kind of distain for my dad. Unless she wanted something/could get something from him. She would tell him that he was not her dad or parent but if she wanted something or if Christmas/her birthday she would not call him dad but would mention he wanted to be.

She never gave a shit about me and was coolly indifferent to me my whole life, with some honest dislike mixed in. I felt it. She admitted it. She told me constantly that we weren't real siblings and she didn't give a shit about me. But she would play pretend when others were watching. There were times she really gave a good show too. But when nobody was looking her true colors shone through.

Nothing changed when she became an adult. I don't think we have said a single thing to each other in the 8 years since she moved out. And we have been in the same room since then.

My dad still does his best to be there for her but she still treats him like he's a stain on her shoe.

She got engaged a few months ago and told my dad this whole spiel about how he was there for her, etc, and how they weren't sure if they could afford a nice wedding and she was wondering if he would pay. He said of course. She practically ran like her ass was on fire once she got the money. Then she announced that she had met her bio dad and he would be father of the bride at her wedding and my dad was a regular old guest. My dad took it all in stride but mom took it badly and she cried when she realized Elizabeth had used him for money. She realized Elizabeth never once said she appreciated or was glad dad had done all this nice stuff. Just that he had.

I wasn't mentioned on the invite for the wedding and never got my own but when mom asked she said sure I was invited. That basically told me all I needed to know but even before that I didn't care if I was invited, I knew I wouldn't go.

I told my parents. Mom was upset. She said we were so close, etc. I told her no and pointed out how she has admitted to my face she doesn't give a shit and how she hasn't said a single word to me since I was 10. My dad had his eyes open somewhat but said he would still go, he still loves her, etc. I told him he should take a stand given all he is to her is someone who buys nice things, not someone she cares about at all. My mom said that wasn't fair. We need to be there for the wedding. I shouldn't encourage dad to stop caring. She said I'm behaving badly like Elizabeth has.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Z_is_e on 2023-12-29 17:37:34+00:00.

Me(18F) just turned 18 my mum (48F)wants to see my bank statement. My mum is manipulative and a narcissist. She and my dad have been divorced since i was 1 and they have constantly had issues with each other. my dad stopped paying child support during covid since he lost his job and my mum not giving him any second chances or anything stopped me from seeing him although i secretly do he now works in finance again. He gives me spending money each month secretly but can't visit me often since its 2 hours away from where i live. However he makes the effort by giving me some extra money despite only seeing him once a month since hes busy away on business all the time. my mum when she did receive child support she would immediately spend it on designer clothes and shoes and bags and would not buy me anything unless she had to out of appearances.

im asian every year she would take my red packet money from my father and relatives and then spend it on herself. i managed so save enough red packet money for a few university fees to settle down but when i turned 18 she had transferred my savings into her account. my half brother (27) however has always been her favourite child.she would sometimes donate my clothes and toys to her friends when i wasn't looking and as a child i would search all over for my toys i had formed an attachment to only for it to disappear the next day in another kids hands.when he wanted a new phone she would buy but when i lost mine she would complain and degrade me for wasting her money.

im currently in college and managed to get offers from a few Russell group uni's but despite being a better academic performer than my half brother i still will never be loved like him. All the savings for uni has been transferred to her account.she has forced me to print out bank statements.This isn't the first time shes stolen money off me.she is NOT struggling with money she only works the extra job to pay for my ungrateful brother's wants as well simply put it greed.

Traditionally asian weddings give valuables when my dad married my mother she was given many precious pieces worth probably over a a few million pounds at least for her to give my inheritance away to my brother since he was struggling to live in London (PS: he lives in Kensington and Chelsea) why is my inheritance be given to a illegitimate child who was the result of a one night stand with a random guy when she was about 18.

Now she is guilt tripping me by saying she didn't deserve all of this since she raised me alone and without help (ps she didn't want his help).

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Prestigious-Bat2345 on 2023-12-29 17:36:50+00:00.

Weeks ago, my wife and I made new years plans with my parents. We genuinely like spending time with them, and always have fun and party. My husband doesn't really have family anymore. We wanted to prioritize thanking my folks for a great year, give them a taste of our style of dinner party, and spend quality time together.

We put in a special order for a bunch of ingredients and wines to cook them a really nice meal. We were to host at theirs because there's a lot of space for the whole family and it's great for parties.

My husband asked my sister and her husband what their plans were. They said they had plans but had to cancel because they couldn't find a babysitter. He extended the invitation to their kids to join. Still, their response was "we can't make it, we don't have a sitter."

Yesterday, my mom texts me saying that we are going over to my sister's house to celebrate new years because they feel "alone" and she will bring all the food.

I said that we won't be joining if we're moving locations. I explained all the reasons why (below). She suggested them coming over before and then us going over there after dinner. I said we could, but we would either only go for a bit then leave for a bar to ensure we could enjoy ourselves on NYE. She wasn't happy with that outcome either.

My sister suggested to me that we cook for them at their house or cancel our order for the food and do something else. That really rubbed me the wrong way and I said we would cancel and not join at all.

My reasons:

(1)My sister and her husband live 5 min walking from my parents. There's no reason why they can't join--if even for a bit. (2) Their excuse for getting out of things typically is "we can't get a sitter." Either fix this problem or don't. Don't make it other peoples' problem. (3) When they were invited with their kids, they immediately said no, rather than saying "thanks, we'll think about it" or "we'll try to make it work" or even...."thanks." (4) My sister never made plans with family for new years. Initially, they even asked my parents to babysit for them! (5) All family time revolves around my sister's schedule and her kids 'needs'. Frankly, I am sick of bending to their needs and what feels like an imaginary schedule at every whim. (6) It's not much of a party at their house. We will have to be mindful of sleeping babies and kids. Something fine for any other night, but not NYE. (7) My bother in law constantly shoots passive aggressive and condescending comments to my husband while my husband remains amicable. Considering the difficult year he has had, I really don't want him to have to deal with that. (8) My sister is treating me like their personal butler suggesting we cook dinner for them at their house (the thank you gift for my parents), or cancel the initial plan to make it work.

AITA For saying we cancel completely and being inflexible?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Prestigious-Bat2345 on 2023-12-29 17:36:50+00:00.

Weeks ago, my wife and I made new years plans with my parents. We genuinely like spending time with them, and always have fun and party. My husband doesn't really have family anymore. We wanted to prioritize thanking my folks for a great year, give them a taste of our style of dinner party, and spend quality time together.

We put in a special order for a bunch of ingredients and wines to cook them a really nice meal. We were to host at theirs because there's a lot of space for the whole family and it's great for parties.

My husband asked my sister and her husband what their plans were. They said they had plans but had to cancel because they couldn't find a babysitter. He extended the invitation to their kids to join. Still, their response was "we can't make it, we don't have a sitter."

Yesterday, my mom texts me saying that we are going over to my sister's house to celebrate new years because they feel "alone" and she will bring all the food.

I said that we won't be joining if we're moving locations. I explained all the reasons why (below). She suggested them coming over before and then us going over there after dinner. I said we could, but we would either only go for a bit then leave for a bar to ensure we could enjoy ourselves on NYE. She wasn't happy with that outcome either.

My sister suggested to me that we cook for them at their house or cancel our order for the food and do something else. That really rubbed me the wrong way and I said we would cancel and not join at all.

My reasons:

(1)My sister and her husband live 5 min walking from my parents. There's no reason why they can't join--if even for a bit. (2) Their excuse for getting out of things typically is "we can't get a sitter." Either fix this problem or don't. Don't make it other peoples' problem. (3) When they were invited with their kids, they immediately said no, rather than saying "thanks, we'll think about it" or "we'll try to make it work" or even...."thanks." (4) My sister never made plans with family for new years. Initially, they even asked my parents to babysit for them! (5) All family time revolves around my sister's schedule and her kids 'needs'. Frankly, I am sick of bending to their needs and what feels like an imaginary schedule at every whim. (6) It's not much of a party at their house. We will have to be mindful of sleeping babies and kids. Something fine for any other night, but not NYE. (7) My bother in law constantly shoots passive aggressive and condescending comments to my husband while my husband remains amicable. Considering the difficult year he has had, I really don't want him to have to deal with that. (8) My sister is treating me like their personal butler suggesting we cook dinner for them at their house (the thank you gift for my parents), or cancel the initial plan to make it work.

AITA For saying we cancel completely and being inflexible?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Used-Stress-2390 on 2023-12-29 17:33:57+00:00.

Many years ago I (f51) met a friend (f58) through our children attending the same school. Most of the parents avoided her due to her being a little rough around the edges but she didn't have the best of upbringings so has a tough exterior when shes actually a nice person. Our children are adults now. I'm married where as she is single. She doesn't work but I do so obviously I have more of a disposable income so ive often helped her out with furniture etc when we have bought new. We are both bigger ladies however she is considerably bigger than me but keeps trying to lose weight so when I sort my wardrobe out instead of sending the clothes to charity or selling on vinted I have given them to her. Obviously at her request so when she loses weight she has nice clothes to wear. This has been happening for over 20 years and unfortunately she has only ever gained more weight. So my brother got married in April and I'd bought a beautiful designer dress to wear. Since then I've lost more weight and I'm adamant I won't be putting it back on so I put the dress up for sale on my fb. She private messaged me saying she would really like the dress. I said I don't mean to be rude but I'd like to sell it because it cost a fortune and im never going to wear it again. Ive given her thousands of pounds worth of clothing that she has never worn because they are still too small and I didn't want the dress stuck in some back bedroom. She told me I have no faith in her weight loss and I'm being really selfish not gifting her the dress. I stuck to my guns and sold it on fb. Now she's blowing up my phone telling me she needed the dress for her granddaughters 18th birthday party which is 7 months away. When I reminded her it's impossible to lose about 6 dress sizes in that amount of time she said I'm fat shaming her. I don't feel I was I was just pointing out the obvious. Now she either ignores me or starts berating me on fb at every chance. I'm really upset as I've tried to help her so much over the years. Last night she texted my husband and told him a secret I'd told her from my past which I'm deeply ashamed about. I'd already told my husband many years ago but now I'm worried who else she is going to tell. I don't want everyone knowing I suffered abuse particularly my children.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Used-Stress-2390 on 2023-12-29 17:33:57+00:00.

Many years ago I (f51) met a friend (f58) through our children attending the same school. Most of the parents avoided her due to her being a little rough around the edges but she didn't have the best of upbringings so has a tough exterior when shes actually a nice person. Our children are adults now. I'm married where as she is single. She doesn't work but I do so obviously I have more of a disposable income so ive often helped her out with furniture etc when we have bought new. We are both bigger ladies however she is considerably bigger than me but keeps trying to lose weight so when I sort my wardrobe out instead of sending the clothes to charity or selling on vinted I have given them to her. Obviously at her request so when she loses weight she has nice clothes to wear. This has been happening for over 20 years and unfortunately she has only ever gained more weight. So my brother got married in April and I'd bought a beautiful designer dress to wear. Since then I've lost more weight and I'm adamant I won't be putting it back on so I put the dress up for sale on my fb. She private messaged me saying she would really like the dress. I said I don't mean to be rude but I'd like to sell it because it cost a fortune and im never going to wear it again. Ive given her thousands of pounds worth of clothing that she has never worn because they are still too small and I didn't want the dress stuck in some back bedroom. She told me I have no faith in her weight loss and I'm being really selfish not gifting her the dress. I stuck to my guns and sold it on fb. Now she's blowing up my phone telling me she needed the dress for her granddaughters 18th birthday party which is 7 months away. When I reminded her it's impossible to lose about 6 dress sizes in that amount of time she said I'm fat shaming her. I don't feel I was I was just pointing out the obvious. Now she either ignores me or starts berating me on fb at every chance. I'm really upset as I've tried to help her so much over the years. Last night she texted my husband and told him a secret I'd told her from my past which I'm deeply ashamed about. I'd already told my husband many years ago but now I'm worried who else she is going to tell. I don't want everyone knowing I suffered abuse particularly my children.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/niiicolllee on 2023-12-29 17:28:41+00:00.

So me, my fiancé and my sisters husband ( let’s just call him Juan ) all work at the same job. We have a work Christmas party tonight and my sister ( let’s just call her Emily ) was supposed to go as his plus one. Me and her both had the same babysitter planned but that fell through. So Emily wasn’t mad she couldn’t go she’s not the most social person and this is a BIG party. She said she could babysit my child so I can still go to our Christmas party. Juan is MAD MAD about it and saying I walk all over Emily and that’s messed up I’m still going to the Christmas party without her. He said something like “well are you giving them a time limit to be back” I babysat their child when she had her Christmas party. I didn’t rush them or text them I just let them have fun. She has only ever watched my child once before this and the WHOLE TIME Juan was texting us rushing us. Emily is mad at Juan because he doesn’t have anything to do with watching my child he doesn’t help or anything but he’s mad that Emily said she would watch my child I even offered to pay. So I just said never mind and my fiancés dad is more than happy to watch our child. This is a huge problem in our family now because apparently I’m TA for going to our works Christmas party. So Reddit AITA for still going to my Christmas party without my sister?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/CipherBagnat on 2023-12-29 17:25:49+00:00.

My store gave us 100€ worth of store voucher usable until the end of January.

I personally don't shop much there so I kindly asked that co-worker a few days ago if she could do me a favor and trade my voucher for 100€ cash because I knew she would use it, to which she replied that she would buy it for 70€, I declined her counter-offer, silently got pissed and disappointed in her for trying to turn the favor into a profit and carried on my day.

I specifically went to her because we've been working together for six years now, and we've been getting along together very well, and for years I've been doing her little favors, lending her money once, fiddling with the rules of the store so she could get the discounted products first, doing quick errands for her, and such things that would take me some free time/work time and small amount of money.

Today, as I was with two of my managers she started telling about me asking for a trade (that's not something that would get us into trouble) and laughing at my credulity and the situation, why would she accept something like that when she could make a profit (and already did with other coworkers), etc. That pissed me off because she appeared ungrateful to me and that she just showed herself as a skinflint so I just left.

Later that day, as she passed by she said "You're giving me the silent treatment", to which I snapped, raised my voice and told her how she was being ungrateful, how I was disappointed in her, how my esteem for her had dropped, and how I thought that after all these years she could do something nice for me instead of trying to make money out of me, how low it was to brag and make fun of that and eventually called her a rat (which is mean word to say a cheap person), she left crying.

I'm in a pretty bad mood lately because I've been feeling that my good will is being used and abused by people and I think I went too hard on her and snapped and insulted her because of that.

AITA ?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/furry_Dingo_305 on 2023-12-29 17:21:00+00:00.

I (16) was recently at my local craft store getting a bit of fabric for myself and talking to one of my friends who works there and as I was waiting for my fabric to get cut I overheard a woman talking to a worker asking how to make a certain blanket

I knew how to make these blankets and I just said we're oh I'm sorry. I overheard your conversation and I have made one of those blankets before and I gave her a bit of advice on how to do it and later after I was finished checking out and putting my stuff in my backpack. One of the workers said oh I don't appreciate you butting in like that. You're acting like you work here and you don't

Am I genuinely in the wrong in this situation for honestly just trying to help

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/copystring on 2023-12-29 17:20:22+00:00.

So my dad died. I asked my wife if she'd come to the funeral, but wasn't surprised she didn't come because she didn't know him too much and she said, she had to work. This was fine with me. I went there with my daughter. While we were still at the funeral, my wife finished work. She texted me if I'm still at the funeral. I said yes. She then texted me "nice that you asked me if I would come after work". She obviously meant the funeral. I came home and she is angry with me, I didn't ask her if she'd want to come after work. I said so her, she could have decided herself if she'd want to come after work. On another funeral she also decided she would come and I didn't ask her for that one. So am I the asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/venusxxgaga on 2023-12-29 17:15:36+00:00.

I (17M) am in junior year of high school. Today was our last day of school, so our teachers let us go home since there was nothing left to do. I get out of school with my friends and on the sidewalk I see $30 on the ground (50 Bosnian convertible marks, which is quite a lot here).

I run up to 2 girls in front of us - they tell me it's not theirs and even check their wallets. In the distance I see 4 other girls from my class walking and figure I should probably ask them. They all check their purses and wallets - it's not theirs either. Since there's no other people in front of us, I decide to take the money and go back to the original group of friends I was with before I ran off to ask.

We walk for maybe one minute before one of the 4 girls comes back and says that there's money missing in her purse and the 3 other girls around her start "freaking out" and searching with her. She demands I giver her the money. I ask her how she didn't realise the money was gone the first time she checked. She asks me if I want to split, I say whatever I just don't understand how you didn't realise your money was gone. I can assure you nobody who goes to school here carries $30 with themselves for a sandwich and drink at school. And I doubt the money fell out from her purse AND wallet and she didn't realize it. She says whatever and stops talking to me. I tell her to take the damn money since it's not even mine. She refuses to even look at me and walks off with her friends who stepped out of the situation from what i'm guessing is embarrassment.

My entire family says that I did the right thing as I didn't let other people make a fool of me. I'm just worried I took this girl's money, but the money was on the RIGHT road from our school and we all went to the LEFT, I just saw the money because I was walking right-most in our group and had to look right to see if I can step out to the sidewalk, therefore seeing the money. So since me and her went the same way, there is no way she dropped it 5 meters to her right while walking and the money being snuck deep into her bag. And there is a possibility it's from someone coming the other way.

I'm donating the money either way but I'm just kinda shaken up cus she attacked me like that. Sorry for the confusing visualisation but, AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/These-Explorer-9436 on 2023-12-29 17:13:38+00:00.

Years ago I used to live in the same building as a girl I went to high school with. We weren’t close in high school but had become friendly while living in the same building. I wouldn’t say super close but we would go on walks around the neighborhood together and stuff. At this point she was engaged and a lot of our conversations on the walk centered around her wedding. She had told me she had a falling out with a bridesmaid and shortly after I was invited to be in the wedding. I was quite shocked as I didn’t consider us nearly close enough for that but I accepted. I always felt like I was only included as a way to keep the sides even and to replace the woman that had dropped out. As the wedding neared she became a disaster. Bossing her bridal party around, planning her own bachelorette and bridal shower and having the bridal party pick up the bill. She actually planned a lavish and expensive out of state air bnb, had us all pay for it and then canceled it to change plans after the date we could get a refund.

That was all 2 years ago. I am now engaged and planning my own wedding. We are planning a very small and intimate destination wedding for immediate family and lifelong close friends only, so she has not been invited. She has posted some passive aggressive comments on Facebook that I know are directed at me and her lack of invite. We both moved out of our old building over a year ago and have never talked since, some simple comment exchanges on social media but no texting, phone calls or seeing each other. AITA for not inviting her under these circumstances?