Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Longjumping_Arm8082 on 2023-12-29 05:02:03+00:00.

Hey Reddit, I need your input on a rather unique family situation, and it's got me feeling like the odd one out in a sitcom. Here's the deal:

Background: I'm 35 years old, and my dad recently married a wonderful woman who happens to be a transgender woman (from man to woman). Let me start by saying that I fully support her transition and their marriage. They're happy together, and that's what matters most.

The Quirk: Here's where things get a bit sitcom-ish. My dad and my stepmom now expect all of us adult kids to start calling her "mom." But, I already have a biological mom, and I've always called her "mom." It's been that way for 35 years, and I've got "mom" copyrighted in my heart. For me, nobody can replace my "mom". Plus, I didn't even know my step mom until very recently.

The Dilemma: So, now I'm stuck in this hilarious and somewhat awkward situation where my dad and stepmom want me to start calling her "mom." I can't help but feel like I'm in some bizarre sitcom plotline where there's a "mom" rivalry. I say hilarious but seriously, I feel very weird about it. Some of my siblings do and a few others don't

Over Christmas, she even started crying when I called her by name and we had a big family talk that I felt was very awkward. I tried to be sensitive but I obviously have strong feelings about this...

I love my stepmom and respect her greatly, but the idea of calling her "mom" just makes me cringe a bit. It feels like I'm betraying my biological mom, and it's making family gatherings a comedy of errors with the "mom" mix-up on top of already different dynamics that I'm not quite used to yet but working on...

So, Reddit, AITA for refusing to call my transgender stepmom "mom" when I've already got a "mom"? Is there a way to navigate this situation without it feeling like I'm in a sitcom? Trying hard to figure this one out... I'm not going to lie..., I feel like a very egalitarian person but this has be questioning if I'm in the wrong here.

***edit: a few have mentioned the unclear importance of her being trans. To be clear, this is just new territory for me and I feel like the identity politics are really playing into the pressure of her wanting us to call her mom which adds to her hurt but I still feel like I only want to call my mom mom...

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/stankylegonmygrave on 2023-12-29 05:46:32+00:00.

I (18m) recently helped my gf (17) sell her old phone. However her mother is the one who paid off the phone. Her mom was okay with her selling the phone up until an hour or so before my gf had scheduled to sell it. She decided to go through with selling the phone i took her to do the transaction since she can’t drive. When her mom finds out, she takes the money and demands my girlfriend start paying for groceries. My gf has no job rn but it’s not necessarily her fault. The last job she had at the dollar tree, her mom called the manager screaming because a check hadn’t came in the mail but the mail was a day later than expected, my gf was fired a day after that. Just saying that to point out her mom is quick to lose her temper and make irrational decisions without thinking of the consequences. My gf calls me abt 30 minutes ago crying and so stressed to the point of getting sick because her and her mom are just going back and forth. I was asking questions trying ti understand the full story and that’s what was happening her mom took the only money she had and said to start paying for groceries. My gf just started breaking down like freaking out overwhelmed even told me to say something thats when I texted her mom. I asked how she expected her to pay for groceries when you ruin all her chances to make money and explained the extent that this is bothering my gf to the point of a full on mental breakdown . Basically just saying to give her a break. Idk I know you shouldn’t get in people’s business like that but it’s hard to just watch or be aware of something like that happening and not say something

Tl;dr I texted my gfs mom because she took money my gf got from selling an old phone her mom paid for, then told her to start paying for groceries. I messaged her mom because I thought it was contradicting

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Creszpoe on 2023-12-29 05:37:41+00:00.

There aren’t any Famous Amos shops in our country, but I was able to get 300g of the cookies during a trip to Singapore. Brough the sealed bags back as gift for my niece(9) who loved them. The issue came three weeks later she asked when I could get some more for her.

I explained that they aren’t available in our country before telling her I will be going to Singapore again June next year and will get her some more then. She looked disappointed and sad at having to wait so long. My sister said it would have been better for me to not have gotten them for her in the first place.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Fancy-Champion-7723 on 2023-12-29 04:59:04+00:00.

I (30F) & old friend (30F) of 9 years stopped talking about a year ago. I had been trying to hangout with her and she would just blow us (32M) off saying she was busy, not answer or make plans but when they say comes she is MIA. Cool whatever I get the point so eventually we just stoped inviting her. Maybe like 2 months later her family member who she has NEVER mentions dies from some sort of drug related thing. The most I say to her is “I’m sorry if you need anything let me know” and let it at that because before we’d try to hangout with her she would just be ghost. So I’m giving her the space. She is LIVID & send this long message but at the end says “And I will never make room in my life for someone like you, that would act in such a despicable and fucking trifling and selfish way toward me. Fuck you”

Here’s where the issue comes in. She was kind of seeing this guy who was seeing someone else and knew this guy would never be with her. He basically confessed his love to me for months to me and wanted to basically end up with me. So I slept with him twice & cut him out of my life. Because you want fucking trifling, I’ll show you fucking trifling. I know this is wrong and I have accepted whatever karma that may come my way. Now she is wanting to be my friend. I accepted the fact that we’d never be friends again because of what I did. I do miss her just a little but I know I can never fully be her friend because of what I did. And telling her this information wouldn’t do anything but damage her self esteem. She invited me to her housewarming, I didn’t go. She wants to go to a concert together & just been extending an olive branch. Sometimes I reply but most of the time I don’t reply. Am I a terrible person if I end up being friends with her again?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/whitedresspost on 2023-12-29 05:37:09+00:00.

My nephew got married a couple months ago. It was a semi-casual wedding at the park. I am my sister's kids' guardian. She has 3 girls (10, 5, 3) and 2 boys (8 and 6).

I wanted the kids to look nice for the wedding so we went shopping. The boys both got new jeans and a nice shirt. The girls each picked out a dress. My youngest niece got a unicorn dress and wore fairy wings, my 5 year old got a dress with the princesses and wore a big pink tiara. 10 year old picked out a simple white dress with pink and yellow flowers.

I honestly thought my nephew or his wife would have an issue with the fairy wings or tiara but my SIL hated that my 10 year old was wearing white. She wasn't in a puffy white ballgown, it was a little sundress with pink and yellow flowers. They told me to change her clothes. I had a tee shirt and shorts in the car but she loved that dress and there was really nothing wrong with it.

They've distanced themselves from us but we saw them at Christmas. They got a present for all of the kids, except for the 10 year old. She's such a shy kid, she didn't say anything but I could tell it broke her heart. I confronted my nephew and his wife about it and they said they gave presents to everyone that behaved appropriately at the wedding. I reminded them that she's 10 and she just wanted to wear a pretty dress, that did not resemble a wedding dress at all, to a wedding. I called them assholes for punishing a 10 year old for what she wore to a wedding but they're still saying it's our (my/her) fault and they still can't believe I let her wear white to a wedding.

AITA for letting her wear a white dress to the wedding?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Totally_NotAi on 2023-12-29 04:58:39+00:00.

I recently found myself in a situation at the local playground that left me feeling a bit uncertain, and I would greatly appreciate some input on the matter.

When I took my daughter to the playground, she was really looking forward to using the swing. However, upon our arrival, we noticed another child already enjoying the swing. In a polite and respectful manner, I approached the other parent to explain that my daughter had been eagerly anticipating her turn on the swing, hoping for a fair resolution.

The other parent seemed to insist that my daughter should wait her turn, emphasizing the importance of fairness. While I understand the value of fairness, I couldn't help but feel that they were being rather inconsiderate of my daughter's excitement and anticipation. After a somewhat tense exchange, the other parent eventually allowed my daughter to use the swing, but not without a disapproving look.

Now, I can't help but wonder, was I in the wrong for wanting to ensure that my daughter's desires were honored? I truly believe that my daughter should have her wishes prioritized, but perhaps I could have handled the situation differently. I'm simply seeking some understanding and support from others who may have faced similar challenges.

Thank you for taking the time to consider my perspective. I am genuinely looking for a fair and considerate approach to these situations while ensuring that my daughter receives the best treatment.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Ashleywolfq on 2023-12-29 05:35:35+00:00.

I (25f) moved in with my mom (53f) over a year ago after my ex and I broke up and had to move out of our shared apartment. I have my own room and shared kitchen/living spaces with my mom. Things were okay between us until a few months into living together, when she bought us groceries (I paid rent and food money in one monthly payment for her to use towards groceries for both of us instead of each of us going shopping as she likes making meals for us to eat together) and she bought some snacks for me that I requested she buy when she went out for me to have at home. She then ate these snacks before I had a chance to even open the bag, and when I confronted her about it, she to me to “buy my own f-ing snacks” if I’m gonna complain. So that’s what I started doing. Eventually I started buying my own groceries and started also purchasing things shared like toilet paper and my own laundry detergent. The only shared things in the house were spices and sauces (unless I use a lot of sauce for cooking in which case I buy my own) lately, when I go shopping which I do once a month, I usually buy milk to keep in the fridge. I work an early shift, so I don’t always have breakfast as home and on the weekends I prefer bagels to cereal for breakfast so my milk usually lasts me 3 weeks or until it expires as I only use it for cooking dishes (mainly pasta) the problem, my mother has resorted to using my milk when she runs out of hers, and doesn’t want to go out to replace it. I don’t usually have a problem with this, except she took so long to replace my milk she used I didn’t have enough for dinner after work one night. In fact, I haven’t finished a whole carton of milk myself in the last three months. But lately she’s been having me make the stops to the store after my shift to buy the milk to replace mine (she does pay me, but she works from home meanwhile I have 8-10 hour shifts often with only 5mins to eat lunch) tonight was the final straw. She went in MY FOOD DRAWER (which she has done before when I’ve been gone for the weekend and ate my snacks and not replaced them by the time I get home) and seemed to want my chips, but she doesn’t ask, she just gets all excited like “ooo ketchup chips those would be good now” and I told her no those are mine, if she wanted some she should have got some on her last shopping trip. She then makes a snide quiet comment about not eating her cookies (my grandma made them for Christmas for the family) and I called her out on her being childish for saying these things with the intention of me not hearing it, and I shouldn’t have to share my snacks cause she didn’t get any herself. She has also taken my chocolate I’ve bought that same day and eaten all of it before I had to chance to have a bite. She’s now wanting me out of the house in 6 months because I won’t share.

so AITA

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/aitacarseats on 2023-12-29 03:06:06+00:00.

I'm (20f) a nanny to 4 kids (9mo, 2, 4, 7). One of the requirements of the job was having a car that could fit 4 car/booster seats. Mine didn't but I applied anyways and they liked me so they got me in contact with a friend that was selling a 5ish year old ford explorer for cheap. They bought the car but it's in my name and they're just taking some money out of my check each month for me to pay it back. It is my car and I can do pretty much whatever I want in it but I need 3 car seats and a booster in there monday-friday.

I refuse to take the car seats out because I do not know how to install them and I can't have the parents do it every time I want to drive a couple friends. I still have my civic that I used before I got this job so when I'm not working I usually drive the civic.

My family was about to go to Christmas and my mom told me to get the car seats out of the explorer so we can all take 1 car. I said no because the only one that I know how to install/remove is the booster seat. My mom said I could watch a YouTube video but I honestly don't feel comfortable installing the car seats and I couldn't live with myself if the seats weren't properly installed and something happened. My mom thought I was being dramatic and that I was just trying to get out of having the family see how messy my car is. I ended up driving my civic and my mom followed in her car but she's still mad that I made us take 2 cars instead of taking the car seats out. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/AUTLIVE on 2023-12-29 05:33:32+00:00.

Cliffs Notes:

Had birthday party for wife at friends house. She got a gag gift birthday baseball cap. Lots of people attended 20+ friends/family Went to pack up to leave house few days later, couldn’t find hat.

Week or more go by and we visit nephew’s (12-13y/o) home to see his parents. Wife sees specified ballcap on his dresser and tells me. We don’t tell anyone and go back next day and I steal it back without anyone knowing.

Except the nephew knows I took it back. No he didn’t say a word to me though. He knows it’s gone though bc he mumbled to himself where’s my hat? And was pacing trying to not be obvious he was looking for it. Acting all nice and weirdly to us. I heard him in his room moving stuff as well mumbling something about “my hat”.

AITA for letting him sweat or should I tell his parents even though, well you know “my kid wouldn’t yadayadayada” or he’ll deny it and nothing happens. Or he’ll admit it and nothing happens and it’s getting worse and worse.

Should I tell parents at all? I’m just in the camp of damn this os a shitty situation. And one day the police are gonna be the ones telling Dad that his sons in juvenile. Not myself telling him he stole. Peace!

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/theDialect402 on 2023-12-29 05:32:49+00:00.

So, let me lay it out here. I needed to do laundry in my shared laundry room at my apartment. When I went in there after I got home from work, there was a load done in one washer, and another going in the other one. The third washer isn't working rn. I decided to come back in 30 minutes. 30 minutes later, it was the exact same deal. Same thing an hour later, and 2 hours later. 2 ½ hours later, there was finally no clothes in the middle washer, but someone still had not moved their clothes. I decided to move the clothes in the washer that had been sitting there the whole time, into a dryer, and start the dryer just to be nice. Then I put my two loads into the two washers. When mine were done, I went to put my clothes in one of the dryers that wasn't running, and clothes were sitting there. I looked in the other one and clothes were sitting there too. There were no baskets around so I put the clothes on top of the dryers and put my clothes in. I had one last load of laundry to wash, so I ran that. When I came back, someone took my wet clothes and put them on top of my dry clothes. So clearly I made somebody mad. Was it rude of me to move their clothes on top of the dryer? Or to run someone's laundry in the dryer? AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/TartSad4118 on 2023-12-29 01:38:05+00:00.

My wife quit teaching around four years ago for mental health reasons. My wife has shown no real desire to get back into the workforce, it is not like we are struggling per se, but I would be lying if I said I did not miss the extra income from when my wife was working.

About a year into her leave, her sister became pregnant, which did take up a large portion of her free time. So over the last two years, my wife has been babysitting her niece for around 12 hours a day three days out the week. She is stressed but does it because her sister claims she has no other option, and cannot afford childcare.

Even so, I do not think it is reasonable for my wife to do 12 hours a day for three days. So since my wife has not said anything for 2 years, I told my sister in law come next year she needs to go to daycare because I am not going to let my wife do what amounts to slave labor.

My sister-in-law told me it was not my place to say what my wife could and could not do.

I get this POV, and I would be lying if I said I am not slightly miffed that my wife can work 36 hours a week three days a week for free but claims she is not ready to return to the workforce.

That is a separate issue, the core issue here is my sister-in-law is taking advantage of my wife to provide free child care. That is not okay. In the past, my wife did talk about pay, but my wife does not like to chase people for money, so since she never reminds them they claim to always forget.

Either way, I told my sister-in-law this is where we stand. My wife is upset with me since she claims it is not my place to say what she can and cannot do. It is not my place to tell others how she is feeling.

So AITA?

For clarity's sake, I did talk this over with my wife many times. She is burnt out from watching her niece but in her view, her sister has no other option.

She has expressed how babysitting over these years combined with teaching has killed all desire she once had for having children of her own.

As mentioned my wife has spoken about pay but since she does not like to chase people for money she never gets the money. She feels she should not have to remind people of money, they should want to pay someone to help them especially when it comes to family.

She also is afraid her sister will become unstable if she loses her family support. I stepped in because I was sick of her being taken advantage of. I did not just sidestep her, I have tried many times over these years to put her foot down, but she loves her niece and does not want to see her suffer.

My point is she is destroying her mental health just like teaching. I was the one who encouraged her to quit because it was destroying her, all she did was wake up, go to work, come home, and go to sleep. It was a struggle to get her to eat at times.

The same is happening with babysitting for my wife.

One last edit since people said I should mention it. My wife is not doing this alone. When I get some I do take over the last three hours and I drop the kid off at her mother's when she gets off work.

We also provide food, and child supplies such as diapers and pull-ups. My wife is also potty training my niece. She is more or less raising her niece three days out the week.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Pristine-Crow6746 on 2023-12-29 05:22:46+00:00.

At 25, freshly out of a four-year relationship, I returned home for December. At my mom's year-end function, I clicked with her coworker, Mike (28), and agreed to hang out. It's worth noting that despite my amicable split with my ex, my family struggles to accept me moving on. My mom, in particular, criticizes my social life, arguing that moms shouldn't leave their children, despite my son being in capable hands.

The tension escalated when Mike invited me to go golfing. Eager to learn and to ensure things weren't awkward, I brought my friend Morgan (25), the only one still living in my hometown. The outing was enjoyable, and afterwards, Mike and I spent some alone time together. When Mike dropped me home, my mom noticed a familiar engine sound and accused me of betraying my ex.

Things took a dramatic turn when I revealed Morgan's presence at the golf outing. My mom exploded with anger, hurling explicit words and labeling my friend a "wh*re." Despite Morgan's personal choices, my mom's reaction seemed disproportionate. As well as accumulating her on thoughts on Morgan !

Adding fuel to the fire, my mom got upset when she saw on Life360 (which I've since removed) that we had driven to Mike's house. We stopped there to check on his dogs before heading to the restaurant down the road.

Feeling overwhelmed, I'm contemplating leaving the day before New Year's to distance myself from the chaos. Thoughts? AITA for introducing them ?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Nameless_equine on 2023-12-29 05:20:11+00:00.

I (f) split up with my (now ex) best friend (f) who we’ll call L of 8 years because of her boyfriend.

Lemme give some backstory. I was friends with this guy(who we’ll call N) for a little while, and was friends with L at the same time. I had always talked about N to L and she wanted to meet him. So we went on FaceTime and all talked for quite a while. A couple weeks turned into a couple months of N and L talking, eventually starting to date. Great couple btw, or at least I thought so.

Everything was great, we went out to breakfast (all three of us) and were on ft almost every night. Well, after a while they started to FaceTime, just the two of them which I get is a couple thing but every time I asked to ft they always came up with an excuse not to, not mentioning they were on call with EACH OTHER. Later on they started making fun of me (which L would’ve never done had she not met N) and L was just started to act like N(which N is not a good person). I got so annoyed, cause they always were pranking me and making fun of me, laughing at me when I did something wrong. It got to the point where I just couldn’t live with them in my life anymore. (The only bad part was N went to my school) I confronted L that she was being mean, annoying, and straight up said she was acting too much like N. She got ticked off at me and super defensive saying that I was just saying that to break them up, etc. So after some fighting I finally said I was done with her and I blocked her. It didn’t really effect me, I swear I’m not a toxic friend who doesn’t care it’s just I don’t have a hard time letting people go because I already have a hard time letting animals go.

Anyways, there’s one more thing I wanna add in that I found kinda suspicious. Almost immediately after I ended the friendship N ended the relationship with L and in the next 2-4 months (idk when exactly) he got a new girlfriend who he’s still with today. I feel bad and I kinda wanna be friends again since she’s not under the influence of N anymore but I think she hates me.

So, AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Frequent_Arrival3116 on 2023-12-29 05:20:01+00:00.

A co worker of mine wanted to order pizza for the everyone who had to stay late and asked if I would mind going to pick up the pizza. At this point I had about five minutes left in my shift. I asked if it was possible for him to have the pizza delivered as it was late and the pizza parlor was in a rough neighborhood. I called my boyfriend while I was waiting on the shuttle to take me to my car and he stated he didn’t feel comfortable with me driving late and in that neighborhood. AITA for texting my coworker back saying I was sorry but I was not able to pick up the pizza after i reluctantly agreed? I would not have gotten home for like 45 minutes and my boyfriend already had dinner waiting. I feel guilty and my co worker who I consider my friend is pissed but I honestly feel like it was a big ask, and something such as late night food should have been planned beforehand. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/hrtz4bella on 2023-12-29 00:59:54+00:00.

I(22f) had my boyfriend(24m) over last weekend. He usually asks for food and such which im ok with. I have many food allergies that make it hard to buy food I can eat, but I keep other things for my boyfriend to eat. This one particular night I had hopped in the shower, meanwhile my boyfriend was going through my pantry, fridge, etc and just grabbing whatever he wanted to eat. I didn't have much at the time because I needed to go to the grocery store. when I got out of the shower I had gotten dressed and asked him what he wanted to eat for dinner, he replied, WHILE eating my protein bars, that he "wasn't hungry." I found that a little weird but didn't push it. I then started to realize I didn't have anymore food I could eat , all that was left was food he could have. I asked him if he knew where all of my food went to and he said "yeah, I ate it, I got hungry." I then got upset and went over to the couch where he was sitting and found wrappers, empty boxes, bags empty, and him staring at me. I started screaming, asking him if he knew how expensive my food was because I have to eat with accommodations and how I didn't have much left to eat to begin with. he then replied with "can't you just order take out?" I got so upset that I packed my things and told him to leave and go home.

in conclusion, AITA

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/BPDWarrioratheart on 2023-12-29 05:14:00+00:00.

Hi. I’m 41 years old, I’m single and have no children. I have some mental health problems - depression, anxiety, borderline personality disorder plus some deeper issues that I’m not allowed to talk to about on here.

Both my parents are in their 70’s, live together and have two children (my twin sister and I) who no longer live in the nest. They have a history of health problems. My Mum has anxiety, arthritis, high/low blood pressure, heart attacks, breast cancer (minor) and suffers from the cold. My Dad has sciatica, high blood pressure, Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, arthritis, and cataracts, plus he is addicted to smoking and alcohol.

For every single health problem that they have had, I have been there (as - in my opinion - I should have been). I have listened to them, researched, offered advice, been to appointments/hospital (one time my Mum was in hospital for 10 days having three heart operations to fit a dual-pacemaker so I stayed with my dad to take care of him - my sister did not come to visit our Mum for 10 days and only came when I guilted her into it.)

My sister and I don’t have a relationship. She never wanted one with me, it was her choice. I moved in to my first apartment 12 years ago and she has yet to cross my doorstep (she lives 160 miles away and yes, in that time I have been up to see her). When she comes down to visit my parents for Christmas, I have been there for at least 24hours cooking (my parent’s try to help but always find reasons for leaving the kitchen), but as soon as their darling daughter is there I might as well not be. One talks to her, another to her boyfriend. She only visits once a year for an afternoon, and from what I understand not many phone calls are exchanged in between, whilst I’m there constantly throughout the year and try to call at least once a week.

I can’t talk to my parents about my mental health. My Mum just turns me away saying that her plate is already too full and she can’t handle it. My Dad judges me, saying it’s all in my head, no one can help me, and that the therapists that I see are just a load of nonsense.

My parents seem to think I need them. I don’t. Not at all. In fact having them hurts me more.

But I want them.

It’s always “I can’t help you” you need to do this yourself “no one can help you but you”.

I’ve never asked them for help, I just want them to listen and to try and understand.

And when my Mum says she can’t listen because she has her own problems, in the next breath she off loads all of her problems on to me. Mostly about my Dads smoking and drinking.

Sometimes I just want to walk away from my family, never see them again, but I know I will fill up with guilt

Every time I try and talk to them it’s “so what you are saying is I’m a sh*t Dad/Mum/parent?” No trying to understand, just rebuttal, just guilt.

If I can’t be honest with my parents, I can’t be myself, what type of relationship do we really have?

I’ve been there for them, when are then going to be there for me.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/nick3lodeon on 2023-12-29 05:05:41+00:00.

I(18NB) moved out of my moms house to live with my dad when I was 16 for a variety of reasons, including doing all the housework, basically being a therapist to my mom,emotional abuse, and being a fill-in parent for my younger siblings. Overall it was a really stressful situation. If I need to, I’ll post something later that goes into more detail. Of course at first after I moved, she tried to be this sickly sweet mom, sending me money or randomly calling or texting to say she loved me. She never did anything like this when I lived with her. She was only nice to me when it benefited her or if I did something that made her look good.(Awards ceremonies, good grades, etc.) About a year after I moved, my mom, who Id been low contact with(I’d visit for holidays and answer her calls but rarely called her) called me to apologize. She said she was sorry for putting so much on me, and for taking away most of my childhood. She said she realized she’d done that because of a video she watched, where a nanny criticized a mom who’d done the same to her oldest son. Here’s the thing, though: I don’t forgive her.I knew as soon as she apologized that I didn’t. I don’t feel like it’s enough for her to see some video on Facebook and realize she wasn’t doing well as a mother. Besides that, she hasn’t changed. She acts the exact same way whenever I visit, despite swearing she’s changed. I feel bad about it though. Sometimes it feels like she really is trying to change, and be a mom. And of course I love my bio mom, but I don’t need that now. I think 17-18 years is too late to try to be the mom I needed when I was younger. Obviously I’m no full grown adult, but I had an amazing aunt and a stepmom who stepped up and acted like a mom to me when bio mom never did. So AITA for not forgiving her?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Straight_Agency_7495 on 2023-12-29 02:42:56+00:00.

I'm divorced and share custody of three boys who are 6, 9 and 12. I've been divorced from my ex for 3 years and it was unpleasant. My two older boys are buzz cut boys with their hair like me. We just don't like hair.

My super cute 6yo Charlie started to get mopey hair and my ex started to put it in this top knot samurai hair style almost like a manbun but at the top of his head.

Yesterday I took all three boys for haircuts. My two older boys wanted to try something different and got a "side part" and a "fringe." I asked Charlie if he wanted one. He shrugged so I said let's cut it. He ended getting a crew cut like daddy

I dropped the boys off yesterday and today my ex called me and was furious that I got Charlie's hair cut. I said she ought to give me $50 or half of the costs of their haircuts. She said I should had "ran" cutting Charlie's hair by her. It was "her" thing. I said and if you said no to cutting his hair am I suppose to not cut his hair? Piss off. I laughed and hung up on her.

I had having tension but I'm not not going to stand up for myself.

I suspect this has more to do with Charlie not being my bio kid and his being the bio kid of a guy who she cheated on me with and thought they would be together forever until he died. Yes he had good hair like Charlie.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/throwawayyoinker on 2023-12-29 01:14:29+00:00.

This has been going on for the past 2 weeks, and I wanted to get an outsiders opinion on the whole situation. I (34M) have a daughter (9F) who has been getting friendly with our new neighbor's children. They moved into our neighborhood a couple months ago and our daughters have been getting close. Towards the beginning of the month, my wife held a Christmas party at our house, and my daughter (lets call her Eliza) invited our neighbors daughter (lets call her Abbigail) over to play while the adults chat.

We were planning to spend the 25th with my in-laws, so we let Eliza open up gifts early. She got some pretty standard gifts, however, we did get her an iPad. Abbigail's family is not the richest family on the block, and it's obvious. The party went fine, but at the end of the night my wife asked where my daughter put her iPad so that she could charge it, and neither one of us could find it. This was definitely a bummer for Eliza because she had been wanting one for a long time, and she had lost it within a week. My daughter is a very responsible young lady, and I started to suspect it was stolen. My first suspect was Abbigail, but my wife quickly shut it down, saying it was rude of me to assume a low-class child would steal and think they wouldn't be caught. We didn't want Eliza to think any less of her her friend, so instead of questioning Abbigail, I decided to try and catch her with it.

I started by putting up a Ring camera pointing towards window, because I knew that she did not have curtains. The next day I checked the footage and low and behold, there it was: Abbigail using the my daughters iPad. I was going to ask the neighbors about it, but I needed more proof. I wouldn't want to wrongly accuse their daughter after all. For the following weeks I kept surveillance on Abbigail's room to gather evidence. One morning I looked to check the footage and the camera was disconnected. When I go to ask the neighbors if they had taken my camera, they start accusing me of "spying" on their daughter. I couldn't believe their audacity to accuse me of spying on their thief of a daughter when they stole MY camera. They called me a creep when all I was trying to do is collect evidence, and banned our daughters from seeing each other. I don't know how to break the news to my daughter. When I told my wife, she agreed with the neighbors and told me it was weird to be watching Abbigail, but I think their accusations paint my good intentions in a bad light. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Salty_Tangelo_30 on 2023-12-29 00:49:44+00:00.

My ex husband and I have 3 kids together (17F, 11M, 7F). He went to prison last week and he will not get out until the kids are grown. He’s always had a strained relationship with his siblings because of some trouble he got into in college (which resulted in a 4 year prison stint). I didn’t know about any of this before we were married; he was a master at hiding things from me. The rest of the sibs seem to have close relationships and the cousins spend a lot of time together. They’ve never treated my kids the same.

Now that my ex is in prison, they suddenly took an interest in the kids. One invited us to her house for Christmas so we went. I need to redo my will and name someone as a guardian of the children should I die. My mom is not I. Good health and none of my siblings are in a position to take that on. All of his sisters are married and financially well off. One has 3 kids that are practically grown, one has 14 yo twins, the other has 2 small children. Brother is not married/has no kids. Their mom is regularly in the kids lives but she’s getting older and her health is not so great. Financially, they’ll be taken care of (life insurance, assets, etc).

I brought it up to my xSIL and she said that she thought it would be too much for one person and suggested separating them. I told her I wasn’t comfortable with that. Imagine taking traumatized children who have lost their parents, their home, and their schools, and then taking them away from each other. It’s cruel. We dropped it that day but the more I try thought about it, the angrier I became. When I got back home, I texted her and told her that I changed my mind because I want my children to be raised by someone who wants them and I would ask a friend instead.

Later, I got into an argument with a different sister over it. They all seem to feel that it’s asking too much. I can’t fathom a family that doesn’t take care of each other. I would take any of my sibs kids, even if I had to financially support them myself.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Heckin_fishbaby on 2023-12-29 00:30:37+00:00.

My grandma showed me the outfit she’s intending to wear to my wedding. It’s an off white pant suit. The same color as my dress. I told her I didn’t like that but she argued that she wore it to my cousins wedding. Maybe I’m over reacting. She’s my grandma not an ex girlfriend of my fiancé, but it just doesn’t feel right to me. Honest thought?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/JazzlikeOne459 on 2023-12-28 23:32:06+00:00.

Honestly if i’m ta or not. Today I went to my dads house to clean my nephews room (completely different story.) After cleaning it up, making it at least decent, I wanted to go home. My sister was watching our cousins so she couldn’t take me. However, my other sister came over just to be there I guess, I don’t know. I asked both of them if one of them could give me a ride home since I don’t have a car. The sister who’s babysitting was walking away already when I asked and the other one was on the couch. Sister #2 says, I don’t have enough gas. Ask grandma." so I tell her our grandma is already at home on the other side of town and also doesn’t have a lot of gas. Sister #1 said something I couldn’t hear. But back to #2, I say okay I’ll walk. I’ve done it before during jh. Her reply? "Make us some tacos." Mind you all the taco stuff is gone or put up which would mean cooking everything from step 1. I just leave and start walking. Otw back, I took a wrong turn. Long story made short, I came across a group of boys. I didn’t pay them any mind but after turning around to go the right way, I hear them cat calling me. Immediately feel panic and scared for several reasons. I’m a F21 queer, mixed/biracial, alone, and there’s at least 6 of them. I managed to call my grandma to come pick me up and drive me the rest of the way. When I got home, I texted both of them saying not to come to me when they need something. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Accomplished_Art2796 on 2023-12-28 23:26:33+00:00.

Am I the asshole for leaving my car window open? I [24M] was on a mini vacation with my girlfriend [22F] in Orlando. We’re from Jacksonville. We decided to bring our cat Marvel, since we would be staying in a hotel for a night, and this is where things went south. It was around one o'clock in the afternoon. As you may know, even when it’s winter, Florida doesn’t really get cold. My girlfriend wanted to go into a Starbucks to get a drink, and I also wanted one, so I left the window open so Marvel could get some fresh air and wouldn’t get too hot. However, I maybe left it a little too open because when we returned 10 minutes later, our cat was gone. My girlfriend started freaking out, asking why I left the window open, and she thought I closed it. She started panicking and I apologized profusely. I told her it was 76 degrees outside and I didn’t want the cat to overheat. She walked away and started looking under the car, in trash cans, wherever she could. We asked three nearby stores in front of our car, including Starbucks, if we could see their CCTV to see which direction Marvel went. They either said they didn’t have any facing the parking lot, or they would not allow us to see it. We thought about calling the police, but she said they would be no use. We drove around for the rest of the day and couldn’t find him. We had him for 3 months, and my girlfriend was the one who adopted him, and I completely understand why she is devastated. She spent the night in tears, and I felt awful. When we woke up at our hotel, getting ready to depart our now ruined vacation, she told me that she was very seriously thinking about leaving me. We’ve been together for two years and are thinking about getting engaged, and I said it was a complete accident and I was sorry. She told me that what I did was so stupid she sees no future with me anymore, and that it wasn’t even that hot to warrant keeping the window open, and that if I really cared that much I should have just turned on the fucking air conditioning. I told her I was sorry, and it was a stupid mistake. We drove back to Jacksonville, and on the way back to our apartment she told me to drop her off at her mom’s house, so I did. Four hours later she texted me that she didn’t want to be with me anymore because what I did was so irresponsible. I begged her to reconsider, tried calling and got no response. It’s been two days without talking to her, I can’t tell if she blocked me or not. I spent the last two nights crying. It was an honest mistake, and I feel throwing away an almost three year relationship over a cat we had for three months is going overboard. So Reddit, what do you think, am I the asshole? Update: She just texted me to come get her and said that she wants to talk to me.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/damoose2016 on 2023-12-28 22:58:56+00:00.

I (27f) have been dancing all my life and have currently taken up like dancing (yes there are couples dances we do in a circle). My bf (30m) hasn’t shown the slightest of interest in couples line dancing. One Thursday night at a bar in Bloomsburg there was line dancing (Mind you we met there because we live two hours apart from each other). The instructor normally plays all the couples dances back to back and forth one of the dances I did not have a partner. I saw at the other end of the circle a guy was dancing by himself so I called him over to dance with me. My boyfriend’s whole demeanor changes from good to bad within seconds. I tried explaining that I had only called him over to dance because we were the only two people without a partner and I had already apologized to my boyfriend a million times. Fast forward to the next day my boyfriend had said it was disrespectful of me to dance with another guy (when again he doesn’t dance and has no intention of even learning). I then keep telling him I will teach him but again he takes no interest and blames me about not being adamant and showing him the couples dances. He is also blaming me If I were to dance with any of my friends who he knows and are guys it would’ve been ok but the guy I danced with at the bar that night I knew but my boyfriend didn’t. My boyfriend had spoken with his grandmother (who I have yet to meet) and she had said if he didn’t learn to dance he would lose me and those words couldn’t be more true. I don’t want a guy who isn’t even willing to slow dance let alone learn couples dances so this situation does not happen again. I feel like we are both at fault (me for being disrespectful and him for showing no interest in learning or even mentioning it when we see each other almost every weekend) So AITA for dancing with another guy I am friends with because he doesn’t want to learn the dances P.S. - He works every weekend 12 hour shifts at work so we barely see each other as it is and when we are together he either wants to relax or work on our trucks together over a friends house. So then there isn’t time to teach him couples dances.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/creamcheese_wonton on 2023-12-28 22:45:40+00:00.

We 25F & 25M, have 2 cats. Cheeto and Mr.Paws, we have friends who come over, I'll call them Rachel and Rick, and we've known them for years. Now for some reason every time they come to our home they refer to our cat as she, her, and just say "kitty" instead of Mr.Paws. Its been 3 years and they still say "she" and "her" despite me correcting them for years that it's a male cat and....also his name is MR. Paws, so....I feel it's hard to forget. Recently a mutual friend of ours had mentioned it was annoying to Rachel that I always had to correct them. Rachel apparently said it's not that big a deal and that they just "always" forget it's a boy cat. My bf says it doesn't matter and it's not a huge deal, bit it's becoming a pet peeve. I'm tired of correcting them too lol and I feel neurotic correcting them continuously, so AITA? Maybe I should just get over it lol

Ok quick edit!! Some people are making this a political thing. Um no, no, no, no, no,no. Not AT ALL where I was going with this. I have no political stance here, this is not about "pronouns" or the cat's gender preferences. This was meant to be just a light hearted post about my friends being weird or forgetful lol. I've had this cat for 3 years, his name has always been Mr.Paws and I just thought from the name Mr.Paws people would know it was male. I'm not dying on a hill and I'm not trying to be passive aggressive or petty or worrying about pronouns. I was just wondering if is hould let it go...which is ill be lol It's not that serious guys🤣🤣I can tell someone you got coal in your stockings 😅