Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Lost_Risk_3235 on 2023-12-28 16:10:13+00:00.

My sister has two now adult kids. Her son is 21 and her daughter is 18 and both of them told her in the last month or so that they plan to legally change their names. My nephew is George and my niece is Katherine. The kids always had nicknames as kids and asked people not to use their whole names but it was was my niece who was the most vocal about the hatred she had for her name. She said Katherine made her think of the old lady who lived down the street from her and she felt like it was a really old lady name or a name someone who wanted to appear so mature would have. She wanted a name that sounded younger and in middle school she started to go by the name Ember, after a character she adored in a book. Ember has stuck and she plans to make that her legal name.

George was never as outspoken but in the last few years (mostly since he moved out of his parents house)he has been Ryder to his friends. Now he has decided he wants to make Ryder his legal name.

My sister was upset with one wanting to change but with both she's got a mix of sadness and anger about it. She and my niece have argued a lot. My sister told her wanting to sound young is a dumb reason to change her name. She told her the name Katherine has a lot of history surrounding it and sounds far more adult which she now is. She told her she just wants a trendy modern name and can't see the benefit to having a real name. She hasn't been as harsh with my nephew but she goes more for the guilt trips with him more so and she has tried with my niece too, just more with my nephew.

It got to the point that I heard from both my niece and nephew that their mom is driving them crazy and my nephew is considering changing his middle name like his sister plans to change hers, since their mom is being so extreme about this. My niece said she doesn't want either name her mom gave her and would rather have just a first name than carry around names she doesn't like.

So I decided to talk to my sister and she told me she doesn't want to hear what I have to say. She told me they are her kids and she has every right to try to convince them to do the right thing. I told her she should still lay off the guilt trips or she might find she hears way less from her kids than she does now and they might be less inclined to tell her stuff in the future, which she also wouldn't like. She told me to leave after telling me I had crossed a line.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/AITA_sisterdrama on 2023-12-28 15:59:55+00:00.

My (f30) sister (26), Millie, has been in a string of bad relationships all her life. She dates unemployed losers, f*ck boy types who don't want anything serious, or men who are already in relationships. She becomes over attached to her partners and then gets heartbroken when these relationships don't end well for her, going so far as to play the victim when another woman called her out publicly for sleeping with her fiancé. Our family always pick up the pieces when her relationships end and she goes into massive depressive episodes. I love her, but it can be exhausting, and she never learns from her past mistakes.

Her current partner (M26) falls into the unemployed loser category. He's barely worked in his life and spends most of his time playing video games.

Despite this, Millie fell pregnant five months into the relationship. They moved in together shortly before the baby was born (he resisted moving out of his parents til the final hour) and they now share a nine month old son. They both love the baby, but the relationship is strained. Millie is on mat leave while he is still unemployed, and furthermore, he doesn't help around the house with the baby or the chores, leading to Millie being stressed and overwhelmed. I try to help out when I can, but I am running my own business and also live an hour away, so the help I can offer is limited.

Anyway, I got engaged to my long-time partner on Christmas Eve and announced the news the following day at Christmas dinner as the entire family was attending. Naturally, my family were ecstatic, but while Millie congratulated me, she looked sad/annoyed for the rest of the evening, and it became obvious her mood had soured.

This resulted in the family coddling her all night and asking if she was ok, to which she kept on saying, "I'm fine," while clearly being in a mood, refusing to engage in conversations, snapping at people, etc. At one point, she came back from the bathroom and looked as if she had been crying, so I pulled her aside to asked what was going on.

She said the announcement of my engagement on Christmas was stealing her thunder, as it was her baby's first Christmas and her son should be the main focus. She then accused me of "rubbing my relationship and happiness in her face" because I knew things were not good with her relationship.

This is the part where I might be an ass. I got annoyed, called her entitled, and asked why she couldn't just be happy for me. She then accused me of not being supportive of her, and I snapped and said it's not my fault you let some loser knock you up; we all tried to warn you. I was also quick to snap because I feel like every family event since she got pregnant has centered around the same drama with her baby daddy.

She ended up storming off and leaving with her baby and partner, and now my parents say I need to be the one to clear the air as the eldest sibling.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/clanton on 2023-12-28 15:43:22+00:00.

So yesterday I got a text from my friend, let's call him john. He was like 'hey, can you send me $18 for the pizza'

To which I responded 'when did we order pizza?'. John responds with 'The pizzas I cooked at boardgames night'

Now to preface this 1. He offered to make pizza and host boardgames, which he decided to do on his own accord and 2. Did not ask anyone for money for doing so beforehand or say it would cost $$.

So with a bit of conversation back at forth (since I've never had anyone ask me for money for a home cooked meal)... he said he was asking for money since I asked him for money for fish and chips. Now the fish and chips were not home cooked and it has ALWAYS been the case that we pay for ourselves at a restaurant or fast food/take out. And I would expect to give him money if it was the other way round.

I mentioned this to him and he said he sees it differently quote "a meal for a meal".

I then asked if he has requested $18 off any of our other friends. Which he said no.

So I said 'this is unfair and he's changing how we usually handle these sort of situations and specifically targeting me for some reason...

And he said it was because the other friends will bring drinks and smokes etc and share it with him, which I do not.

To which I responded, 'well I don't drink or smoke' and also I've NEVER charged you for a home cooked meal.'

Then some angry messages were sent my way and we have not spoken.

I can send him $18, it's not about the money... It's just how he has handled the situation, is singling me out, and especially charging me after the fact (which has never happened before and is not normal behavior).

AITA for not giving my friend $18 for a home cooked pizza?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ViewNatural6699 on 2023-12-28 15:20:59+00:00.

On a throwaway. I'm 17 f. My parent's separated when I was 2. My mom moved to New Zealand when I was 5. Her and dad had an agreement that I go to her every holidays. Which is what I have been doing. I have a friend 17 who always wanted to know about my trip to New Zealand everytime I came back home. She asked if she could come early this year. So I asked my mom and she was fine with her coming. My friend was super excited. We landed in NZ and my mom picked us up early in the morning.

First few days we didn't go out exploring, because we were adjusting to the time difference and sudden change of season. So my friend didn't get to talk to people other then my mom and her boyfriend who is also from where we are from. So my mom told us she had a friend coming over for dinner and asked if we were feeling up to joining them for dinner or would we prefer to relax in my room. My friend and me said we would be fine joining.

That night, my mom, friend arrived, her son had brought her, and so my mom was introducing me and my friend to them and before they could speak my friend told me my loudly that she thinks the son was cute and she wouldn't mind having one night with him. I was stunned and the son looked at her and said thanks, but no thanks, I got a girlfriend! His mom laughed and my friend froze and her face was redder then my sunburn. I excused us and dragged my friend back to my room because she seemed frozen to the spot. I asked her why would say that in front off him like that? She said I thought they didn't speak English? I said why would you think that? She said you said there were two official languages and I thought they spoke the other language. I told her English is mainly spoken and she got very upset with me. She said I set her up. She's been very cold towards me since then and now I feel guilty and wondering AITA

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/AITA_sisterdrama on 2023-12-28 15:59:55+00:00.

My (f30) sister (26), Millie, has been in a string of bad relationships all her life. She dates unemployed losers, f*ck boy types who don't want anything serious, or men who are already in relationships. She becomes over attached to her partners and then gets heartbroken when these relationships don't end well for her, going so far as to play the victim when another woman called her out publicly for sleeping with her fiancé. Our family always pick up the pieces when her relationships end and she goes into massive depressive episodes. I love her, but it can be exhausting, and she never learns from her past mistakes.

Her current partner (M26) falls into the unemployed loser category. He's barely worked in his life and spends most of his time playing video games.

Despite this, Millie fell pregnant five months into the relationship. They moved in together shortly before the baby was born (he resisted moving out of his parents til the final hour) and they now share a nine month old son. They both love the baby, but the relationship is strained. Millie is on mat leave while he is still unemployed, and furthermore, he doesn't help around the house with the baby or the chores, leading to Millie being stressed and overwhelmed. I try to help out when I can, but I am running my own business and also live an hour away, so the help I can offer is limited.

Anyway, I got engaged to my long-time partner on Christmas Eve and announced the news the following day at Christmas dinner as the entire family was attending. Naturally, my family were ecstatic, but while Millie congratulated me, she looked sad/annoyed for the rest of the evening, and it became obvious her mood had soured.

This resulted in the family coddling her all night and asking if she was ok, to which she kept on saying, "I'm fine," while clearly being in a mood, refusing to engage in conversations, snapping at people, etc. At one point, she came back from the bathroom and looked as if she had been crying, so I pulled her aside to asked what was going on.

She said the announcement of my engagement on Christmas was stealing her thunder, as it was her baby's first Christmas and her son should be the main focus. She then accused me of "rubbing my relationship and happiness in her face" because I knew things were not good with her relationship.

This is the part where I might be an ass. I got annoyed, called her entitled, and asked why she couldn't just be happy for me. She then accused me of not being supportive of her, and I snapped and said it's not my fault you let some loser knock you up; we all tried to warn you. I was also quick to snap because I feel like every family event since she got pregnant has centered around the same drama with her baby daddy.

She ended up storming off and leaving with her baby and partner, and now my parents say I need to be the one to clear the air as the eldest sibling.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Ordinary_Sherbet1263 on 2023-12-28 15:18:25+00:00.

My daughter Leah’s mother and I were never married but we did officially separate when she was five. I got with my wife Niyah when Leah was nine and married her when Leah was 12. Leah never got on with Niyah, didn’t want to spend time with her and was just generally unpleasant to her. We are currently in family therapy and honestly I think Leah just says the meanest thing possible to avoid actually discussing her feelings with us. She’s absolutely amazing to hang around with one on one but is unpleasant around Niyah.

We were all supposed to spend Christmas together, as per our custody agreement. Leah is sixteen now and we have been more lenient but we have always adhered to our agreement for holidays and birthdays. On Christmas Eve Leah left to see her boyfriend’s family and drop off her gifts. At around six I call her and ask when she’s heading home, she says she’s staying. I know her mom lives near her boyfriend and asked if that’s where she was going. She didn’t answer. I told her to come home and she pretty much agreed but then never did. I did call her boyfriend’s parents and they confirmed she left to her mother’s and I called her mother who said Leah was there.

Niyah was heartbroken because she felt like Leah didn’t want to be there because of her. This year Niyah handled all the gifts, she did the work of going in store and picking them up/picking them out. I decided my daughter wasn’t allowed to shit on Niyah’s efforts to at least be civil with her, so when Leah got home and I asked why she wasn’t at Christmas, she said she wanted to spend it with her real mom. I said that’s fine. When she asked about her gifts I said her “fake mom” got it for her, so she didn’t need them. Needless to say, she’s pissed at me and hasn’t said anything. Niyah appreciates me putting my foot down, but feels like Leah is a lost cause and to just give her the gifts. Leah’s mom agrees she needs to stop treating Niyah badly and expecting no consequences. AITA?

Note: She has the gifts her mom and boyfriend and other family got her. Just not the one’s Niyah helped with.

I got her a car for Christmas, gifted it to her in November because she needed the car.

Leah is an only child on both sides. I have no other children and don’t plan to.

I am fine with having a relationship with Leah outside of Niyah. My issue is she treats Niyah badly, like subhuman. She acts outright nasty to her. I wouldn’t push so hard if she could at least be civil.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Ordinary_Sherbet1263 on 2023-12-28 15:18:25+00:00.

My daughter Leah’s mother and I were never married but we did officially separate when she was five. I got with my wife Niyah when Leah was nine and married her when Leah was 12. Leah never got on with Niyah, didn’t want to spend time with her and was just generally unpleasant to her. We are currently in family therapy and honestly I think Leah just says the meanest thing possible to avoid actually discussing her feelings with us. She’s absolutely amazing to hang around with one on one but is unpleasant around Niyah.

We were all supposed to spend Christmas together, as per our custody agreement. Leah is sixteen now and we have been more lenient but we have always adhered to our agreement for holidays and birthdays. On Christmas Eve Leah left to see her boyfriend’s family and drop off her gifts. At around six I call her and ask when she’s heading home, she says she’s staying. I know her mom lives near her boyfriend and asked if that’s where she was going. She didn’t answer. I told her to come home and she pretty much agreed but then never did. I did call her boyfriend’s parents and they confirmed she left to her mother’s and I called her mother who said Leah was there.

Niyah was heartbroken because she felt like Leah didn’t want to be there because of her. This year Niyah handled all the gifts, she did the work of going in store and picking them up/picking them out. I decided my daughter wasn’t allowed to shit on Niyah’s efforts to at least be civil with her, so when Leah got home and I asked why she wasn’t at Christmas, she said she wanted to spend it with her real mom. I said that’s fine. When she asked about her gifts I said her “fake mom” got it for her, so she didn’t need them. Needless to say, she’s pissed at me and hasn’t said anything. Niyah appreciates me putting my foot down, but feels like Leah is a lost cause and to just give her the gifts. Leah’s mom agrees she needs to stop treating Niyah badly and expecting no consequences. AITA?

Note: She has the gifts her mom and boyfriend and other family got her. Just not the one’s Niyah helped with.

I got her a car for Christmas, gifted it to her in November because she needed the car.

Leah is an only child on both sides. I have no other children and don’t plan to.

I am fine with having a relationship with Leah outside of Niyah. My issue is she treats Niyah badly, like subhuman. She acts outright nasty to her. I wouldn’t push so hard if she could at least be civil.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Crazy-Procedure-2912 on 2023-12-28 15:13:46+00:00.

I(18f) have a 34 year old sister. My sister has one son from a previous marriage but after giving birth the hospital found a tumor in her chest. She had gotten it removed but she lost a lung in the process. Now onto the problem, after a messy divorce, my sister found a man that’s much younger than she is. He’s young so he wants to have a lot of children plus he comes from a culture where children are a major factor in marriage. He said he wants at least 3 kids. At first I thought after a while of dating my sister would tell her partner that she can’t give birth without major risked. She could literally die. She never did, now they are planning the wedding. When me and my other siblings confronted her she said that she’s willing to take the risk and that she wants more kids. I don’t agree with this because if she dies she leaves behind her already living son. So when my family was having dinner this Christmas I decided to bring up my sister’s surgery and the risk of getting pregnant. She left soon after cursing me out and yelling that I’m a lier. Her fiancé yelled at me, saying that surgery isn’t something I should lie about and how an immature teen doesn’t understand what the risk of pregnancy. My siblings agree with me mentioning it but my parents think that I should’ve never said anything. AITAH??

Edit:Hi. I’m getting a lot of questions about certain information I forgot to share. my family all know that he doesn’t know, my sister asked us to help her hide it and told us.We know there is a high chance she probably die from giving birth, a doctor explained it and told us the risk after her surgery and advised my sister to find alternative ways. My sister and her fiancé have been together for almost four years now. My sister does have other underlying things like diabetes as well as a problem with her heart(I don’t know the name of the problem but I know she has it) which is why she almost dies during her surgery. She had also almost dies giving birth to my nephew. I had never told her she can’t have kids, I am sorry the title is wrong I had thought Cant and shouldn’t mean the same thing in English. Me and my family have told her that she should tell him but she is pushing it off. I don’t want to ruin their relationship but she should tell him because of the risk. I know she only wants a family because he wants a family she had explained that to us when we asked her to tell him. My sister is amazing she just didn’t tell him. I worry about her dying from birth.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Crazy-Procedure-2912 on 2023-12-28 15:13:46+00:00.

I(18f) have a 34 year old sister. My sister has one son from a previous marriage but after giving birth the hospital found a tumor in her chest. She had gotten it removed but she lost a lung in the process. Now onto the problem, after a messy divorce, my sister found a man that’s much younger than she is. He’s young so he wants to have a lot of children plus he comes from a culture where children are a major factor in marriage. He said he wants at least 3 kids. At first I thought after a while of dating my sister would tell her partner that she can’t give birth without major risked. She could literally die. She never did, now they are planning the wedding. When me and my other siblings confronted her she said that she’s willing to take the risk and that she wants more kids. I don’t agree with this because if she dies she leaves behind her already living son. So when my family was having dinner this Christmas I decided to bring up my sister’s surgery and the risk of getting pregnant. She left soon after cursing me out and yelling that I’m a lier. Her fiancé yelled at me, saying that surgery isn’t something I should lie about and how an immature teen doesn’t understand what the risk of pregnancy. My siblings agree with me mentioning it but my parents think that I should’ve never said anything. AITAH??

Edit:Hi. I’m getting a lot of questions about certain information I forgot to share. my family all know that he doesn’t know, my sister asked us to help her hide it and told us.We know there is a high chance she probably die from giving birth, a doctor explained it and told us the risk after her surgery and advised my sister to find alternative ways. My sister and her fiancé have been together for almost four years now. My sister does have other underlying things like diabetes as well as a problem with her heart(I don’t know the name of the problem but I know she has it) which is why she almost dies during her surgery. She had also almost dies giving birth to my nephew. I had never told her she can’t have kids, I am sorry the title is wrong I had thought Cant and shouldn’t mean the same thing in English. Me and my family have told her that she should tell him but she is pushing it off. I don’t want to ruin their relationship but she should tell him because of the risk. I know she only wants a family because he wants a family she had explained that to us when we asked her to tell him. My sister is amazing she just didn’t tell him. I worry about her dying from birth.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Acceptable-Quail-357 on 2023-12-28 10:50:47+00:00.

17m had my boyfriend 17m over for Christmas because his family weren’t really doing anything due to unfortunate circumstances.

My mum said it’s fine to have him over but didn’t want me to just clear off upstairs with him for the full day when we have family over and she would like me to at least stay downstairs as much as possible as to not be rude.

So after dinner we stay in the kitchen for a bit but my mum and relatives are just chatting amongst themselves. But to keep to my mums wish for staying downstairs me and my boyfriend move into the living room and stay in there watching movies rest of the day. Sometimes people would walk in and say hi and I’d chat with them.

When everyone was gone my mum started having a go at me because apparently she would’ve wanted to move into the living room with people but she felt like she couldn’t do that because me and my boyfriend “took over in there”

I asked why she couldn’t just have asked me to go elsewhere plus there was room in there for people so what’s she talking about? She said it was uncomfortable the atmosphere we created in there, like we wouldn’t have wanted anyone else in there and no one would want to go in there anyway because of said atmosphere. I was completely unaware of this “atmosphere” and don’t know how we could’ve been creating it.

I brought up how she wanted us to stay downstairs and my mum told me I should had the sense to know that didn’t matter anymore at that time?

Edit: going to add some context because idk if there’s cultural differences going on or something. At every family gathering I have ever been apart of, the living room always had movies or something playing and it’s very common for people to be spread out between it and the kitchen and walk between them. My mum had already had films on the living room TV playing before anyone arrived for that purpose.

Me and my boyfriend didn’t decide fuck all of you we’re going to seclude ourselves in this very private area, because that’s not what that was.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Acceptable-Quail-357 on 2023-12-28 10:50:47+00:00.

17m had my boyfriend 17m over for Christmas because his family weren’t really doing anything due to unfortunate circumstances.

My mum said it’s fine to have him over but didn’t want me to just clear off upstairs with him for the full day when we have family over and she would like me to at least stay downstairs as much as possible as to not be rude.

So after dinner we stay in the kitchen for a bit but my mum and relatives are just chatting amongst themselves. But to keep to my mums wish for staying downstairs me and my boyfriend move into the living room and stay in there watching movies rest of the day. Sometimes people would walk in and say hi and I’d chat with them.

When everyone was gone my mum started having a go at me because apparently she would’ve wanted to move into the living room with people but she felt like she couldn’t do that because me and my boyfriend “took over in there”

I asked why she couldn’t just have asked me to go elsewhere plus there was room in there for people so what’s she talking about? She said it was uncomfortable the atmosphere we created in there, like we wouldn’t have wanted anyone else in there and no one would want to go in there anyway because of said atmosphere. I was completely unaware of this “atmosphere” and don’t know how we could’ve been creating it.

I brought up how she wanted us to stay downstairs and my mum told me I should had the sense to know that didn’t matter anymore at that time?

Edit: going to add some context because idk if there’s cultural differences going on or something. At every family gathering I have ever been apart of, the living room always had movies or something playing and it’s very common for people to be spread out between it and the kitchen and walk between them. My mum had already had films on the living room TV playing before anyone arrived for that purpose.

Me and my boyfriend didn’t decide fuck all of you we’re going to seclude ourselves in this very private area, because that’s not what that was.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/EyeCapable7826 on 2023-12-28 10:39:41+00:00.

I (34m) have an older sister "Kate" (36f) who has 3 kids "Ella" (11f), "Mike" (7m) and "Dylan" (18 month). Me and my wife "Lina" (35f) live in the house she has inherited. The house is rather large and has a lot of space but due to its age is not very soundproof. To give an example Lina can hear me in the downstairs kitchen while working in the office on the second floor in a different part of the house.

Before I get to the issue it is important to note that Lina is also suffering from very bad migraines usually triggered by loud sounds that affect her vision and make it blurry so she has to lie down in peace and quiet for an hour or so to let it pass before she carries on working. Unfortunately she also pulled a short straw this year and had to work through Christmas (usually it means be on call due to specific line of her job). As she deals with high profile clients she can't be disturbed when on call and prefers the house being quiet (noise cancelling headphones don't help). Lina is also working from home and the closest office is 6 hours away.

To the issue: at the start of last week my sister's house had a malfunction, making it temporarily inhabitable. Due to Christmas and all the holidays it is not going to be fixed until the start of the new year so she and her partner asked if it will be okay to live with us as we have more space compared to our parents. I have consulted Lina and told Kate they can stay provided she keeps the kids quiet and explained the nature of Lina's migraines and her line of work. The rules were simple such as kids either wearing headphones when watching TV or have it on lower volumes and Kate making sure Dylan is not upset and crying all the time. Kate and her partner thanked us and promised to keep the kids in check.

2 days go by, I'm out and about to help my parents until I get a distressed call from Lina saying the kids are very loud, she spoke to Kate but she can't bring them under control. I can hear the kids clearly on the background, so I call Kate and remind her of our agreement and she promises to fix it. However the next day the kids are even worse then before, shouting while playing fortnight and Dylan is constantly upset and crying, which is affecting my wife and her work. She even got a few complaints in as her clients couldn't hear her (we do plan renovating the house and making her office soundproof, just saving money for it).

Due to this I have asked Kate and her partner to leave and probably move in with my parents as they were unable to follow simple rules. My tried to argue and beg for me to change my decision, but ultimately the house is Lina's and these were her rules to follow. As it happened the day before Christmas my sister called me an asshole and said I have ruined Christmas for my niece and nephews before packing and moving to our parents. My parents also called me earlier and said I was unreasonable and they are kids so me and Lina should be more understanding.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/EyeCapable7826 on 2023-12-28 10:39:41+00:00.

I (34m) have an older sister "Kate" (36f) who has 3 kids "Ella" (11f), "Mike" (7m) and "Dylan" (18 month). Me and my wife "Lina" (35f) live in the house she has inherited. The house is rather large and has a lot of space but due to its age is not very soundproof. To give an example Lina can hear me in the downstairs kitchen while working in the office on the second floor in a different part of the house.

Before I get to the issue it is important to note that Lina is also suffering from very bad migraines usually triggered by loud sounds that affect her vision and make it blurry so she has to lie down in peace and quiet for an hour or so to let it pass before she carries on working. Unfortunately she also pulled a short straw this year and had to work through Christmas (usually it means be on call due to specific line of her job). As she deals with high profile clients she can't be disturbed when on call and prefers the house being quiet (noise cancelling headphones don't help). Lina is also working from home and the closest office is 6 hours away.

To the issue: at the start of last week my sister's house had a malfunction, making it temporarily inhabitable. Due to Christmas and all the holidays it is not going to be fixed until the start of the new year so she and her partner asked if it will be okay to live with us as we have more space compared to our parents. I have consulted Lina and told Kate they can stay provided she keeps the kids quiet and explained the nature of Lina's migraines and her line of work. The rules were simple such as kids either wearing headphones when watching TV or have it on lower volumes and Kate making sure Dylan is not upset and crying all the time. Kate and her partner thanked us and promised to keep the kids in check.

2 days go by, I'm out and about to help my parents until I get a distressed call from Lina saying the kids are very loud, she spoke to Kate but she can't bring them under control. I can hear the kids clearly on the background, so I call Kate and remind her of our agreement and she promises to fix it. However the next day the kids are even worse then before, shouting while playing fortnight and Dylan is constantly upset and crying, which is affecting my wife and her work. She even got a few complaints in as her clients couldn't hear her (we do plan renovating the house and making her office soundproof, just saving money for it).

Due to this I have asked Kate and her partner to leave and probably move in with my parents as they were unable to follow simple rules. My tried to argue and beg for me to change my decision, but ultimately the house is Lina's and these were her rules to follow. As it happened the day before Christmas my sister called me an asshole and said I have ruined Christmas for my niece and nephews before packing and moving to our parents. My parents also called me earlier and said I was unreasonable and they are kids so me and Lina should be more understanding.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ConferenceOne9786 on 2023-12-28 10:34:59+00:00.

So I (24f) have an older brother (40m) Mick. Mick has been married twice. His first wife, Katie, is the mom to my nephew Conor (20m) and my niece Aoife (18f). She sadly died 12 years ago. I was actually really close to Katie. She treated me like her little sister and used to take me places with Con and Aoife. So my niblings and I have always been close.

Mick really didn't want the kids to grow up in a one parent household so he remarried within the year to Jennifer. They met 4ish months after Katie died at my parents house (Jennifer was our neighbor) and were married 9 months after Katie died.

Mick focused a lot back then on the kids needing two parents. He told my niblings that Jennifer could save them from falling into a pit and that she was lovely, worked with kids, so they should do their best to open up their hearts to her and let her in. I'd say after six months of marriage Mick realized the kids were not as okay with that as he wanted them to be and he told them Jennifer was now their mom and they should show more love to her, because she was their future. When Conor exploded and told him Jennifer was not going to be his future, Mick decided the only way forward was to enforce family day once a week (Sunday).

Mick and Jennifer had three kids together over the next five years. Con and Aoife never bonded with them which drove Mick crazy so he would push more for the forced bonding. He would also get very angry when Con and Aoife told him they didn't care about Jennifer and when they said he betrayed their mom and them by moving so fast.

Last year Con stayed with them over Christmas when he was home from college. Mick figured this was the sign that Con and Aoife had adjusted now that they were "basically adults". But this year when Aoife was also at college they chose not to visit Mick, Jennifer and the kids at all. And both told him they had no plans for a visit and no time for him to visit. When he said they would still go and try to see them for a bit both told him they didn't want to see him.

Mick decided to vent this all to me the day after Christmas when we were at our parents house. Every time I tried to talk about something else he would dump way more on me. This was a big surprise to me because he always dismisses me as a kid and has told me before I'm not adult enough to talk to about "grownup stuff". I outright asked him to stop and he told me this was all my fault so I should shut up and let him talk. I asked what the hell he meant and our mom asked the same. He said I should have encouraged my niblings to give Jennifer a chance and to stop seeing his remarriage as a betrayal. He said I had way more power and then he called me a stupid little child. I asked him why he insisted on dumping on me and expected so much from me when I'm just a child. I told him none of this was on me and it was entirely on him. He yelled at me which mom and dad kicked him out for. But he's saying I was a brat to him.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ConferenceOne9786 on 2023-12-28 10:34:59+00:00.

So I (24f) have an older brother (40m) Mick. Mick has been married twice. His first wife, Katie, is the mom to my nephew Conor (20m) and my niece Aoife (18f). She sadly died 12 years ago. I was actually really close to Katie. She treated me like her little sister and used to take me places with Con and Aoife. So my niblings and I have always been close.

Mick really didn't want the kids to grow up in a one parent household so he remarried within the year to Jennifer. They met 4ish months after Katie died at my parents house (Jennifer was our neighbor) and were married 9 months after Katie died.

Mick focused a lot back then on the kids needing two parents. He told my niblings that Jennifer could save them from falling into a pit and that she was lovely, worked with kids, so they should do their best to open up their hearts to her and let her in. I'd say after six months of marriage Mick realized the kids were not as okay with that as he wanted them to be and he told them Jennifer was now their mom and they should show more love to her, because she was their future. When Conor exploded and told him Jennifer was not going to be his future, Mick decided the only way forward was to enforce family day once a week (Sunday).

Mick and Jennifer had three kids together over the next five years. Con and Aoife never bonded with them which drove Mick crazy so he would push more for the forced bonding. He would also get very angry when Con and Aoife told him they didn't care about Jennifer and when they said he betrayed their mom and them by moving so fast.

Last year Con stayed with them over Christmas when he was home from college. Mick figured this was the sign that Con and Aoife had adjusted now that they were "basically adults". But this year when Aoife was also at college they chose not to visit Mick, Jennifer and the kids at all. And both told him they had no plans for a visit and no time for him to visit. When he said they would still go and try to see them for a bit both told him they didn't want to see him.

Mick decided to vent this all to me the day after Christmas when we were at our parents house. Every time I tried to talk about something else he would dump way more on me. This was a big surprise to me because he always dismisses me as a kid and has told me before I'm not adult enough to talk to about "grownup stuff". I outright asked him to stop and he told me this was all my fault so I should shut up and let him talk. I asked what the hell he meant and our mom asked the same. He said I should have encouraged my niblings to give Jennifer a chance and to stop seeing his remarriage as a betrayal. He said I had way more power and then he called me a stupid little child. I asked him why he insisted on dumping on me and expected so much from me when I'm just a child. I told him none of this was on me and it was entirely on him. He yelled at me which mom and dad kicked him out for. But he's saying I was a brat to him.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/burner3584 on 2023-12-28 08:45:24+00:00.

My dad died almost a year ago and my mom started dating her husband like a month after my dad died. Her husband expected me to call him dad when he first moved in with us. I (M16) don't like him he's such a dick and my mom and him both know what I think of him. He's trying to replace my dad it's fucking annoying. They got married a few days ago. I didn't want to go to the wedding but my mom made it pretty clear that if I didn't go out relationship would never be the same again.

I got really drunk beforehand so I could actually get through the wedding and because everything is way better when you're drunk and maybe a little stoned. I got to the ceremony like 25 minutes late and that really pissed my mom off but I was still there so my mom should probably just be grateful that I was there at all ngl. Like I had a plan to ruin their wedding but I thought I'd just be wasting my time so I didn't.

My mom and her husband have been so pissed at me since they said it was disrespectful going there drunk and that I ruined their wedding. I don't really know how I ruined their wedding the only thing I did which could be considered bad is making out with a guy but I don't think that's that bad so i don't really understand what the problem is tbh.

But yeah I don't know I could be the asshole, they're both pretty upset at me and they haven't really spoken to me much other than to shout at me.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/burner3584 on 2023-12-28 08:45:24+00:00.

My dad died almost a year ago and my mom started dating her husband like a month after my dad died. Her husband expected me to call him dad when he first moved in with us. I (M16) don't like him he's such a dick and my mom and him both know what I think of him. He's trying to replace my dad it's fucking annoying. They got married a few days ago. I didn't want to go to the wedding but my mom made it pretty clear that if I didn't go out relationship would never be the same again.

I got really drunk beforehand so I could actually get through the wedding and because everything is way better when you're drunk and maybe a little stoned. I got to the ceremony like 25 minutes late and that really pissed my mom off but I was still there so my mom should probably just be grateful that I was there at all ngl. Like I had a plan to ruin their wedding but I thought I'd just be wasting my time so I didn't.

My mom and her husband have been so pissed at me since they said it was disrespectful going there drunk and that I ruined their wedding. I don't really know how I ruined their wedding the only thing I did which could be considered bad is making out with a guy but I don't think that's that bad so i don't really understand what the problem is tbh.

But yeah I don't know I could be the asshole, they're both pretty upset at me and they haven't really spoken to me much other than to shout at me.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Effective_Waltz7217 on 2023-12-27 22:02:16+00:00.

I (28F) and my husband (30M) have been married for 6 years together for 9. During that time he has always been a hunter and I am an avid animal lover. I understand his hunting and have never said anything negative about it, but I have always refused to eat what he killed. I am the one who cooks in our marriage and have told him time and time again if he wants to eat his deer meat, he has to make it himself.

We have been going through a rough time with other issues, me feeling alone and like he doesn't care about me as much as his friends and hobbies, and feeling like a roommate who takes care of the house and bills.

Well December 23rd is supposed to be OUR Christmas day even though we don't exchange gifts. He had planned to go hunting that morning and I argued that if it was our day and we couldn't go see my family early than he should be home. After some back and forth he cancelled hunting and said he was already going to make me dinner. I was so excited because I always make dinner and he never cooks for me. He then tells me he's going to make deer roast. Again, I don't eat deer. I asked him if he was going to get me beef and he went off on me in front of people about how we talked about this and he's trying to be better and wants to start cooking more and is proud of his hunting and wants to provide. I explained again how I felt about eating deer and it fell on deaf ears. He did not care. He made the deer roast and when I didn't want to eat it he got defensive and upset and blamed me for not giving him praise for trying.

I feel like if I were trying to make our relationship better I would value my spouse's opinions and beliefs and make something they'd like. So AITA for not eating my husband's cooking.

Edited to add I don’t like venison for multiple reasons. I don’t like the taste, it’s chewy and gamey, and it’s mentally hard for me to overcome. I source my other meats and know where they come from but the main thing Is I don’t like venison.

Edited one more time: he plays men’s league baseball and I go to every game, he golfs with his buddies, plays indoor soccer, and plays video games. I promise I support him having friends and hobbies

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/throwRA_aw811gi5 on 2023-12-28 16:05:04+00:00.

I (18M) have a pretty close relationship with my older sister (22F) and her husband (23M). They’re both cool people and honestly they’re like my goals for a relationship most of the time. The only issue is, they get super touchy with each other. Even in front of other people. I’m personally really grossed out by PDA and touchiness in public and they both know that too but sometimes they have issues with it. Yesterday we hung out and got lunch together and of course the whole time they were holding hands. Then when they finished my sister leaned her head against him. Then when we walked outside he literally KISSED HER FOREHEAD in front of me. It just felt so gross and disgusting to watch I actually gagged in my mouth a little bit.

Then even at home he kissed her forehead more or she leaned her head on his shoulder and I just had enough of it so I left. Later that day I texted my sister trying to set a boundary, asking if they could keep the PDA and touching to a minimum while I was with them since it makes me really uncomfortable to watch. She laugh reacted the message and basically ignored everything I said and asked what PDA. I mentioned the hand holding and the cuddling and the kiss outside the restaurant. She acted confused and said it wasn’t PDA to cuddle with her husband in her own house. I said when I’m there it is definitely public and it makes me feel like I have to chaperone them or else they’re gonna get handsy or something. She said I was being stupid and that she wasn’t going to not hold hands with her husband just to make me comfortable in front of them. So not only is she doing all of this but she’s ignoring my boundary now.

I said fine I just won’t come over anymore, expecting her to realize she could lose our relationship over this. She sent a shrug emoji and said “then don’t come over”. Now I feel ignored on top of everything. I talked to my parents hoping they could talk to her or help. My dad agreed that it’s weird to do stuff like that in public but my mom says it isn’t in public since they’re at home and I’m the guest there. AITA here??

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Nathy97 on 2023-12-28 14:55:50+00:00.

He gave me what looks like expensive earrings, a pull over blanket, and socks.

Funnily enough, I love the pull over blanket and the socks more than the earrings. Not to say I hate them, they’re beautiful, but I just would’ve rather gotten a gift that I can use everyday. I’ve been wanting so many different things that idk where he got the idea of giving me earrings from tbh.

I’ve been thinking about asking him to use that money to get myself a treadmill. I’ve been talking about it a lot for a while now, so he knows it’s something I want. Would that be considered rude? Should I just suck it up? Any advice on how to approach it nicely please.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Kitchen_Meringue2987 on 2023-12-28 12:11:20+00:00.

I always feel like a jerk for asking but I get full blown gusts of hot breath in my face. I can even smell his breath when he’s sitting next to me because he’s mouth breathing. I tell him he’s moving my hair with how strong the breathing is going across my face and he just brushes it off. His breath also smells often and he did go to the dentist and doctor but they didn’t find anything wrong. he has decent oral hygiene (brushes twice a day), we tried mouth wash but his breath just smelled like his breath + mint. i thought it was just my pregnancy hormones but now that I’ve not been pregnant for a while i don’t think it’s that. AITA for asking him to stop mouth breathing (especially on me) /telling him i can smell his breath?

EDIT: just to clarify, I’m not shouting at my husband, outcasting him, ostracizing him, treating him differently, not being physically/emotionally affectionate etc for breathing in my face. I feel really terrible when i mention it but it’s not comfortable for me to be breathed on especially when it’s stinky.

EDIT (again): we have seen a doctor and dentist. the doctor didn’t find anything wrong but the doctor wasn’t a specialist, so we’re going to explore that route. the doctor said she thinks he’s developed a habit after a stuffy nose he had a while back. my husband says he doesn’t feel an issue breathing out of his nose but his brain just “auto selects” his mouth now. i love my husband and want him to be medically ok, but also this could be just a habit and he hasn’t really been trying to fix, so that’s why i’ve been bringing it up to him. if this is a medical condition that has no fix, then ill love my husband through it no matter what like im already doing now. i just am bothered by the hot breath in my face constantly but at the same time im afraid he’s going to be hurt/embarrassed the longer i try to intervene/encourage him to see doctors/tell him it’s bothering me.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Street-Meringue-6465 on 2023-12-28 11:18:30+00:00.

I (42F) recently went to Korea with my son(11M) and husband(46M) to visit my family and my husband’s family. While we were shopping a guy came up to my son and handed him a business card and asked to take a couple photos of him. This was the third time this has happened so I’m already somewhat used to it. I took the card and said no photos and told the guy we’ll reach out if we’re interested and this was enough to get the guy to back off. We went back to my MIL house for lunch and my husband’s entire family (sisters, aunts, uncles) were there for some reason. My husband told them about my son getting scouted again and told them the company that scouted him this time (it’s a big company, if you’re into kpop you probably know which company I’m talking about, the pink one.)

They were like wow that’s great and asked me what I’m going to do about it. I looked at them confused and said ofc im not going to do anything about it, he’s 11. My husband out of nowhere said that it is still up for discussion and we haven’t talked about it yet. I got defensive and said that there was nothing to discuss, that is my son and I am not letting him drop everything and move to Korea and train all day to become a kpop idol WHEN HES ONLY 11. My MIL and SIL rolled their eyes and said I’m just jealous of my son and that I should be grateful for the opportunity. My SIL, in front of everyone, asked my son what he thought of it and he told them he really wants to do it. I was really surprised because he never expressed any desire to be a performer or to be a celebrity and he hated dancing (we put him in a dance class when he was 7 and he begged to leave after 2 weeks). After this I just felt overwhelmed and left the room.

Then during dinner the topic came up and I just gave up and told my son that if he wanted to he could at least start his training when he’s in high school. My husband started to become annoyed and said why should he wait till high school when he could just start now and that the younger he starts the better. At this point I am just so shocked because for the 11 years my son has been alive not once has my husband ever said anything about wanting his son to be a celebrity, let alone a kpop idol. This was 2 weeks ago.

Today just a few hours ago, I had a gut feeling telling me I should check my husbands phone and so I did, turns out he has been in contact with the guy that scouted my son and some other staff member from the company and even worse, HE SENT THEM PHOTOS OF HIM. I’m just so overwhelmed and I don’t know what to do. My son has been telling me for the past 2 weeks how much he really wants to do it but I just can’t let him. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Sweet_Cow3901 on 2023-12-28 08:54:14+00:00.

So my wife has been asking me to quit for a while, I picked up the habit in September so it's not a long standing thing but long enough. Been very stressed with work lately so I'd decided I'd tell her on NYE that I was quitting as my resolution.

She had voiced many times that she wanted me to quit.

Fast forward to yesterday and at a family meal she essentially got everyone at the table to tell me I needed to quit and that it's a childish thing to be addicted to. I refused to go along with it as to me it was important that I'd decided to quit off my own back and I really hated the feeling that they would think they'd forced me into it rather than I was just doing it because I wanted to.

Anyway after the meal we drive home and she asks why I'm being quiet and I say that I felt humiliated by what happened. When asked to explain why I said I didn't like that people would think she'd nagged and forced me into quitting which is what it now would look like. She told me I'm being childish and that I shouldn't care if people think I've done something because she wanted me to.

Anyway AITA here or no?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/TooBurnedOut on 2023-12-28 08:31:21+00:00.

I (M28) work 12-hour shifts and attend college full-time, while my wife (F32) stays at home playing video games and watching TV. Recently, I received a $1,000 grant from my college. To avoid any potential conflict with my wife about how to use this money, I had it deposited to my Venmo account, which she doesn't have access to. I then sent the money to my sister to buy me the newest biggest baddest 1tb OLED Steam Deck as a Christmas present.

In the past, my wife and I have had conflicts over gaming consoles. She believes that if we buy a new Steam Deck, she should get the new one, and I should use her old 64GB LCD model. Since I earned the grant and am usually too tired to game after work and school, I wanted to avoid this argument and ensure I got what I wanted. AITA for secretly using my grant money to have my sister buy the Steam Deck as a gift, thereby avoiding a potential argument with my wife?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Hour-Midnight-4139 on 2023-12-28 08:26:53+00:00.

This is a little bit ridiculous but it sparked an hour long argument and resulted in him threatening to leave me and take our baby with him. I was relatively calm throughout as I was still holding the baby and trying to settle him

Last night I (31F) went to bed, I have work today and was kept up the night before by our baby, I was also in work yesterday. When I got into bed I realised I had my charging cable but no plug so I texted my partner (34M) to bring one with him when he came to bed, he was still up. He doesn’t have work today or yesterday, he’s off for Christmas. He said no but I asked again because I was already in bed, very tired, and also the baby was very restless. I then fell asleep as I was exhausted only to be woken up by him standing near the bed telling me that there was a plug on my bedside table. I said please can you plug it in as you’re next to the extension lead and I’m asleep. He said no do it yourself I’m busy, so I said it’s right next to you and I would have to get out of bed to get to it please plug it in I have work in the morning and I was asleep. I then drifted back off to sleep as I was absolutely exhausted. I was woken up about 2:30 by the baby crying, it always ends up being me who settles him even when I have work. I noticed that my phone still wasn’t charging and I needed it to have been plugged in so that my alarm would for off for work. I was cuddling our baby so couldn’t plug it in so I said to my partner please can you plug it in so it doesn’t die. This started a huge argument where he said it wasn’t his responsibility, I shouldn’t be so lazy and he had said no already so wouldn’t do it. I said you were stood right next to it earlier and I asked you to plug it in, he said that just because I ask him a favour doesn’t mean that he has to do it. I agree with that however spending 2 seconds to push a plug into a socket I wouldn’t describe as a favour, to get to the plug and extension lead he didn’t even need to move his feet so I don’t think I was asking too much of him. The argument escalated because we were both adamant we weren’t in the wrong, he said you can ask anyone and they’d all say he was right and I was an asshole for being annoyed that he didn’t do it. His reasons for not it doing were that he was busy because he was getting ready for bed and because he was just in a towel. He thinks I’m the asshole because I expected him to do something instead of doing it myself and I’m lazy (I was actually asleep not being lazy which he knows). I think he is the asshole for waking me up in the first place (I would have just plugged in his phone and not disturbed him) and for refusing to do something that would take him 2 seconds to save me having to get out of bed when I had already fallen asleep.

So AITA for being annoyed that my partner didn’t take 2 seconds to plug my phone in for me?