Dad Jokes

Clearly age is a word

Hij was een echte hordeur hoarder.

I was stuck on the Knight shift

Apparently, without glasses I can't see that well.

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/32471128

Indepen-dance!

In Jamaica a steak pie will cost you £2.30. An Apple pie will cost £1.90. A chicken and mushroom pie will cost you £2.25. A cherry pie is £1.20 and a mince pie is £1.90.

In Trinidad &Tobago a steak pie will cost you £3.00. A rhubarb pie is £1.35 and a chicken pie (without mushrooms) is £1.20...

...these are the pie rates of the Caribbean

But what are you going to do?

Ivan was born in Russia. His first job as a young man was cutting logs in the northern forests. The mosquitos plagued him. The work was brutal, but Ivan survived because he was a strong many and used to hardships. Then he went to the mines, slaving for hours in dim tunnels, moving tons of rocks. The air was foul and the heat was intense, but Ivan survived because he was a strong man and used to hardships. Finally, in search of cleaner air, he applied to the navy. On his first day, he was sent to the crows nest as a lookout. Sadly, a huge gust of wind knocked him from his perch and sent him tumbling to the deck, but Ivan survived because he was a strong man and used to hard ships.

Because fathers have Father's Day and mothers have Mother's Day and Labour Day.

Clint eats wood.

I thought hard about what to do with the cash, but then I thought: "What would Jesus do?"

He must have been going to a party, he had catan, he had uno, and he had Scrabble way up at the top. His stack wasn't balanced very well though, and Scrabble fell, the box burst open, spilling tiles everywhere.

So I went up to him and asked, "what's the word on the street?"

Artificial Swedener.

He is all right now.

We are all victims, even the dads.

The teat-owl.