Dad Jokes

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Description

This is a community for sharing those cheesy “dad” jokes that invoke an eye roll or chuckle.

Rules

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
[email protected]
listing: all - local
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64
Post text, images, or direct links only (lemmy.world)
submitted 2 years ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
5 comments fedilink
 
 

Please see the updated sidebar. Do not post external links to websites such as Facebook and Instagram.

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Please post edgier jokes to the new Uncle Jokes community (lemmy.world)
submitted 2 years ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
12 comments fedilink
 
 

I just updated the sidebar. As a rule of thumb, if you cannot tell this joke to a 5-year-old, you should probably post it to the new community [email protected]

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What happens when you don't obey they KGB? (lemmy.today)
submitted 5 hours ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
3 comments fedilink
 
 

You get Putin jail.

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It's too good tuba true (lemmy.world)
submitted 11 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
33 comments fedilink
 
 
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No lies detected (lemmy.today)
submitted 14 hours ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
2 comments fedilink
 
 
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Excel-sior! (lemmy.world)
submitted 16 hours ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
2 comments fedilink
 
 

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/24914135

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Opening the microwave to retrieve my sandwich: "Ow! This is hot!" (fedia.io)
submitted 16 hours ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
22 comments fedilink
 
 

If I heated it up any longer, it would be a glasswich.

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I gave my handyman a todo list, but he only did items 1, 3 and 5. (lemmy.ml)
submitted 1 day ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
6 comments fedilink
 
 

Turns out he only does odd jobs.

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283
If your house is cold, just stand in the corner. It’s always 90 degrees there. (lemmy.ml)
submitted 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
21 comments fedilink
 
 

(Fahrenheit. In Celsius this would be deadly)

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It's useful that my dog floats. (midwest.social)
submitted 6 days ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
3 comments fedilink
 
 

He's a good buoy.

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…then I accidentally ate my cat’s meds (lemmy.world)
submitted 1 week ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
4 comments fedilink
 
 

spoilerdon’t ask meow

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I ate a clock yesterday (lemmy.world)
submitted 1 week ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
7 comments fedilink
 
 

spoilerit was very time consuming

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I was really nervous about my first day working at Olive Garden (lemmy.world)
submitted 1 week ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
1 comments fedilink
 
 

My therapist said I had impasta syndrome.

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No way a horse drew this... (lemmy.dbzer0.com)
submitted 2 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
1 comments fedilink
 
 

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/post/35513565

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Why is bees' hair sticky? (lemmy.world)
submitted 2 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
1 comments fedilink
 
 

Because they use a honey comb.

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It has been forever and I still cannot find a water filter that filters out dihydrogen monoxide--why can't they make one that does this? (lemmy.world)
submitted 2 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
12 comments fedilink
 
 

spoilerYou mean an air pump?

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Why did the cheeseburger get in a fight with the veggie burger? (lemm.ee)
submitted 3 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
4 comments fedilink
 
 

Because it had beef.

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Dad? (lemmy.world)
submitted 3 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
1 comments fedilink
 
 

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/24047094

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What do you call a really old snowman? (lemm.ee)
submitted 3 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
7 comments fedilink
 
 

Water.

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Which city is the biggest naysayer? (feddit.nl)
submitted 3 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
8 comments fedilink
 
 

Constantinople.

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I was going to start the year with a joke about paper.. (lemmy.world)
submitted 4 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
4 comments fedilink
 
 

.. but nevermind, it's tearable.

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When the clock struck 12 I had to lift my left leg... (lemmy.world)
submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink
 
 

So I could start the year off on the right foot.

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This place is dead (lemmy.world)
submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
19 comments fedilink
 
 

Haven't seen any posts all year.

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Beauty (lemmy.dbzer0.com)
submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
10 comments fedilink
 
 

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/post/34292785

Beauty rule

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What is a gambler's favorite country? (lemm.ee)
submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
7 comments fedilink
 
 

Tibet.

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