Dad Jokes

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231 users here now

Description

This is a community for sharing those cheesy “dad” jokes that invoke an eye roll or chuckle.

Rules

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
[email protected]
listing: all - local
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64
Post text, images, or direct links only (lemmy.world)
submitted 2 years ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
5 comments fedilink
 
 

Please see the updated sidebar. Do not post external links to websites such as Facebook and Instagram.

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174
Please post edgier jokes to the new Uncle Jokes community (lemmy.world)
submitted 2 years ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
12 comments fedilink
 
 

I just updated the sidebar. As a rule of thumb, if you cannot tell this joke to a 5-year-old, you should probably post it to the new community [email protected]

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140
Why do Norway's naval vessels have bar codes on the bottom? (ttrpg.network)
submitted 11 hours ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
4 comments fedilink
 
 

So when they return to port they can just Scandinavian.

explanation if needed"scan the navy in"

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67
Which U.S. president applied for the position online? (lemm.ee)
submitted 22 hours ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
7 comments fedilink
 
 

Abraham LinkedIn.

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103
My friend said I had nice knuckles (lemmy.world)
submitted 2 days ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
2 comments fedilink
 
 

I thought, "that's a back-handed compliment"

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286
0mg (gregtech.eu)
submitted 2 days ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
8 comments fedilink
 
 
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134
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a German went to see a show... (lemm.ee)
submitted 2 days ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
8 comments fedilink
 
 

The four of them went to see a man on stage. The problem is, the stage was a bit high, so they might have trouble seeing him. As the man went on stage, he said, "Can you see me?" They all replied:

"Yes."

"Oui."

"Sí."

"Ja."

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451
Techinally the truth (i.imgur.com)
submitted 4 days ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
11 comments fedilink
 
 

cross-posted from: https://sh.itjust.works/post/32766221

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I know my jokes are bad. But at the end of the day (swg-empire.de)
submitted 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
5 comments fedilink
 
 

it's night.

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116
What's the easiest way to burn 1,000 calories? (lemm.ee)
submitted 5 days ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
11 comments fedilink
 
 

Just leave the pizza in the oven.

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122
Why are balloons so expensive nowadays? (lemm.ee)
submitted 6 days ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
9 comments fedilink
 
 

Inflation.

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-14
Failed Joke (ani.social)
submitted 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
1 comments fedilink
 
 

Poor delivery?

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31
Why are 3D glasses a useful tool for reasoning about complex problems? (lemmy.sdf.org)
submitted 1 week ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
1 comments fedilink
 
 

They put things into perspective.

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Too much work (lemmy.world)
submitted 1 week ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
5 comments fedilink
 
 
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16
Street vendor (lemmy.world)
submitted 1 week ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
4 comments fedilink
 
 

A guy walks up to a street vendor and asks, “What’s on the menu?”

The vedor responds, “We have grilled eel on a stick, and we also have beef offal.”

The guy, trying to be clever, asks, “so, got any grapes?”

“Come on bro”, the vendor responds unimpressed. “Beef or eel.”

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Do you know which band made it to the top? (lemmy.world)
submitted 1 week ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
1 comments fedilink
 
 

The blouse brothers

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579
A job well done (lemmy.world)
submitted 1 week ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
10 comments fedilink
 
 
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Before crowbars were invented, crows simply drank at home. (lemmy.ml)
submitted 2 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
7 comments fedilink
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Bogged down with idealism (lemmy.world)
submitted 2 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
3 comments fedilink
 
 

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/24960555

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106
I work in quality control at a scissors company (lemmy.world)
submitted 2 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
9 comments fedilink
 
 

I have to reject any that don’t make the cut.

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I'm finally writing a dad joke about herbs. (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 2 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
9 comments fedilink
 
 

It's about thyme.

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What happens when you don't obey they KGB? (lemmy.today)
submitted 2 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
9 comments fedilink
 
 

You get Putin jail.

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It's too good tuba true (lemmy.world)
submitted 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
37 comments fedilink
 
 
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No lies detected (lemmy.today)
submitted 2 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
2 comments fedilink
 
 
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132
Opening the microwave to retrieve my sandwich: "Ow! This is hot!" (fedia.io)
submitted 2 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
23 comments fedilink
 
 

If I heated it up any longer, it would be a glasswich.

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