this post was submitted on 30 Jan 2025
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Men's Liberation

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[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 day ago (45 children)

But that's not women's fault, that's patriarchys fault for instilling into men on a deep cultural level that they need to make money to "provide" and then capitalism exploiting us workers so hard that that "providing" goal is impossible for a lot of us.

A lot of men deal with that insecurity by entering hustle grindset mindsets. Others get taken advantage of by right wing groups and say it's women's expectations at fault, not understanding that feminism also combats that expectation.

The point being, patriarchy binds us all, men and women with its expectations, and capitalism has made meeting those expectations impossible for a lot of people resulting in a double wombo combo of fucking men over.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I think this ignores part of the problem some younger guys have expressed which is their perspective partner still expect the guy to earn more and that's increasingly not the case.

A lot of men have no idea what feminism entails so they aren't aware that it calls not just for the adjustment in expectations and attitudes for men but for women as well. Clarifying what feminism is could fix a bunch of minor issues.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago

True. The intersection between patriarchy and capitalism creates these expectations and equally makes them unachievable for most people.

Feminism as an ideology attempts to tackle and deconstruct both of these, freeing us from those unachievable expectations.

I've been getting a lot of use outta this quote today from bell hooks.

"It is obvious that many women have appropriated feminism to serve their own ends, especially those white women who have been at the forefront of the movement; but rather than resigning myself to this appropriation I choose to re-appropriate the term “feminism,” to focus on the fact that to be “feminist” in any authentic sense of the term is to want for all people, female and male, liberation from sexist role patterns, domination, and oppression"

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

But that’s not women’s fault,

I think at this point it's time to take a step back and say "not all women".

The reaction to "drizzle drizzle" has been particularly telling in this regard: You can scroll through miles of comments of feminists^1^ trying to analyse the thing as "a movement", not really knowing what to make of it, where to put it, you can scroll through just as much mileage of "these men are gay" tiktoks from, well, the kind of women drizzle drizzle is taking the piss out of. And you'll also see reactions from women totally getting it: The ones who can't help but laugh along. Which is the only way to take this seriously.

The enforcement of patriarchy, or consumerism, whatever you want to call it and however you want to slice it, is not a particularly gendered thing. Just because you belong to an identifiable group doesn't mean that your actions or opinions are beneficial to that group. That would presume people to not be idiots which is never a safe assumption to make, present company and myself included.


^1^ "feminist" as in "contains the word feminist in the subreddit name" and suchlike. Not intended to be a deep analysis of the *isms.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I think it's always important to keep in mind that in any population of people there will be regressives.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I mean, sure. In this context in particularly though what I'm disappointed by is the cluelessness of self-identified feminists: As you yourself said in your other comment the "sprinkle sprinkle" sphere isn't exactly feminist, going exactly against the adjustments of expectations feminism wants to make among women, then comes along drizzle drizzle to make fun of sprinkle sprinkle, very much in line with feminist thought (though with male humour and camaraderie) and they just don't get it. Complete woosh.

...or, <conspiracy_mode=on>, they do get it but play clueless to not have it publicly associated with feminism so that it can be more effective in influencing culture. 1d chess, 4d chess, who can tell the difference.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Just to be clear Im not the same poster as the person who mentioned “sprinkle sprinkle”

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

Nope that was me myself. It's very much "men should pick up the bill or get lost" type stuff though so I connected it with your "expect to earn more" thing.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 day ago

Now we just need a strong representative to frame this as populist rhetoric and the left will finally be able to stand on two feet

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 day ago

that’s patriarchys fault for instilling into men on a deep cultural level that they need to make money to “provide”

Maybe that's the case because it's been the case since bartering started about 100,000 years ago... You'd rather your daughter marry a guy with a lot of stuff, rather than the guy with little stuff. If you think you can "just" change such an ancient system by introducing Feminism, then oh boy, are we even more fucked than I thought...

The only real issue is that Capitalism in the US has gone hogwild and concentrated most wealth down to 3 people. Europe is somewhat doing fine in that regard. Don't we have superrich people? Yeah, sure, but our bottom line is a LOT healthier. Not as healthy as I wish it to be, but fine-ish for now.

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