this post was submitted on 12 Feb 2025
1023 points (97.7% liked)

Microblog Memes

6556 readers
2092 users here now

A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.

Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.

Rules:

  1. Please put at least one word relevant to the post in the post title.
  2. Be nice.
  3. No advertising, brand promotion or guerilla marketing.
  4. Posters are encouraged to link to the toot or tweet etc in the description of posts.

Related communities:

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I've joked with coworkers that our entire job as programmers is to find ways to light up pixels on someone's screen in patterns that they find pleasing.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 day ago

Well. I mean. Both release dopamine for me anyway.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 day ago (1 children)

In the engine I've worked on it's even less dramatic than deleting a row. It changing a single boolean from 1 to 0.

"Single bit state CHANGED!!!”

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

Honestly excel would be more exciting if the commentator from mortal kombat described my actions if I correctly use a function.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago

Exactly!! Do you know how much happier I'd be at work???

And can you imagine the outlook integration? If an email says "as per my previous email" you get the FATALITY soundbite when you hit send.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

DRAGGED A CELL BY ACCIDENT
RESET ALL THE FILTERS BY ACCIDENT
FLEW TOO CLOSE TO THE SUN AND MADE IT CRASH AGAIN, DIPSHIT

[–] [email protected] 38 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Hah! Joke's on you, player! I pooled my game objects and you're endlessly killing the same bad guys with the same bullets over and over.

[–] [email protected] 45 points 2 days ago (3 children)

And spectator sports are watching people exercise and reading is staring at a tree while hallucinating

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 days ago

staring at a tree while hallucinating

Same with taking shrooms

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 days ago

Fantasising based on looking at ink blots on a butchered tree.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 days ago

Staring at a tree while hallucinating. I love this.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 days ago (3 children)

I've been working on a survival/RTS game and it's funny that even though the game development framework I'm using (Unity) tends to push you to put most of the code on the visual objects level and that was my original approach, over time I've figured out the whole code is way cleaner and works better (in other words, the best architeture for that software) when almost all of the game is really just a Data layer being manipulated by the player and a separated View layer for the players to visualized it in a nice way - basically a Model-View Controller Architecture, same as you'll find in systems were a server-side application has web and/or smart app UIs.

That said, I have the impression that something like an FPS is a lot less data-driven than an RTS because things like the 3D models that make up the world are a lot more important for data decisions (has the bullet hit an object, can the player move to this position). You can still say that stuff is data (3D models are data, specifically collections of vertices in 3D space with some additional information attached), but model data is generally way more visualization-oriented than what one could metaphorically call a "database".

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Admittedly I haven't worked on any games, but if I were to do so, I always believed ECS to be the way to go: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Entity_component_system.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 days ago

No, I'm not playing. In reality, I'm just bumping atoms in a galactic billiards game with the biggest chain reactions.

[–] [email protected] 122 points 2 days ago (11 children)

The opposite actually - rows are dramatically added to a database. In most games save files grow the longer you play.

[–] [email protected] 46 points 2 days ago (10 children)

and even if some idiot put every zombie npc in a database (or if you want to think of it that way), you wouldn't just delete the rows! the bodies would disappear, so instead you would update that row like (npcState = KIL, bodyLocation = ) or something. Especially if you wanted to keep player stats

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 21 hours ago

Where was you when

[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 days ago (3 children)

Isnt there this graveyard off map somewhere in Skyrim, where all the bodies get teleported?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 days ago (4 children)

Why would that even be necessary? Sounds like one of those “make a guy with a train for a hat and run up and down this hall” moves they like to do

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago

I wouldn't be surprised if it is true though. Bethesda games are not exactly winning awards for coding elegance.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Their code is literally spaghetti

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago

l-.. literally?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Technically, the train was done by the Obsidian studio, not Bethesda per se, because of strict deadlines.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (8 replies)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago

*Noita file save on the 7th parallel world intensifies*

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 days ago

This is why Breathe of the Wild did the blood moon thing, periodically they'd just bring all the dead enemies back so file size didn't get too large.

load more comments (8 replies)
[–] [email protected] 28 points 2 days ago

Reductionism when "it isn't murder I just deleted your row from the national health government database"

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

I don't remember it, because I am learning of this for the first time, which I am very glad to do. Thanks!

[–] [email protected] 27 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 days ago

(rofl!)
Or you know, monetary & financial systems we humans trust in.

[–] [email protected] 35 points 2 days ago (4 children)

Macrodata refinement in cold harbor

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 days ago

Kier, chosen one, Kier. Kier, brilliant one, Kier.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (3 children)

Pretty much them zombies would be in active memory

Incidentally, just decided my new band name, active memory zombies

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 days ago

After hours of trial and error, I finally changed the integer on the BossKill parameter from 0 to 1!

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 days ago (4 children)

I would play a database management roguelike.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago

Intensity comes from keeping up and fixing the bullshit your coworkers cause while attempting to build in idiot guardrails to stop further damage.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 days ago

I like to dramatically DELETE rows FROM slow_database

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 days ago (1 children)

ON ⬆️➡️⬇️⬇️⬇️ CASCADE;

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›