this post was submitted on 09 May 2025
1126 points (99.6% liked)

Funny

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[–] [email protected] 154 points 1 week ago (6 children)

why does this image have built-in spit droplets

[–] [email protected] 51 points 1 week ago (2 children)

My dumb ass just went and tried to clean my screen before I read your comment

[–] [email protected] 38 points 1 week ago

Did you put it into screen cleaning mode first?

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[–] Mycatiskai 21 points 1 week ago

It has been saved, reposted and saved so many times that there is data loss making fuzzy artifacts in the picture.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 week ago

This was incredibly confusing for me because I washed my hands after opening this post. I picked up my phone, and I read your top comment before reading the post, and then I looked at my screen and I actually had water on my screen. I was like, "Damn that is some realistic looking water!" Then I wiped it on my shirt and it disappeared and I got really confused lol

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 week ago

Shower thoughts, clearly it needs water.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago

Image so old it got moldy

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago

It’s semen

[–] [email protected] 70 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (3 children)

Just open up notepad, start cleaning, and then use the resulting document as a word finder puzzle. Hell, if you're really lucky you might write the next best selling novel.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Wouldn't recommend this. I mean, it was publishable, sure. But there were tons of spelling errors.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 week ago

Bah! That's what editors are for!

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 week ago

They told me it was already published by Shakespeare.

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[–] [email protected] 46 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Some keyboards have a lock button and most can be unplugged

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Mostly only an issue for laptops.

Side note: whoever decided that pressing any key on the keyboard should turn on the computer should be shot. Fuck you Apple for bringing that back.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I think there used to be a program for windows to lock the keyboard, too. Themed around protecting from cats walking across it, if anyone wants to look.

[–] Albbi 11 points 1 week ago
[–] [email protected] 39 points 1 week ago (2 children)

You're supposed to clean your keyboard?

I bought one with lights and it's a glorious display case for my collection of dead skin, crumbs and stray pubes.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

How are your pubes getting near your k--

wait, no I don't want the answer to that question.

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[–] [email protected] 34 points 1 week ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 week ago (2 children)
  1. Unplug keyboard or turn off bluetooth.
  2. Clean keyboard.
[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Unplugging the keyboard requires getting down on my hands and knees, groping around to find a plug I can't visually see, and probably dislocating my shoulder in the process.

And then even more luck required to get the plug I can't see back IN, trying the USB every single way blind by feel only, and neither way wants to accept it's the right one.

It's an absolute last resort.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago (3 children)

My keyboard has a detachable cable so you can just unplug it from the keyboard

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I'm happy for you

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago (2 children)

ok but get this: I have a laptop

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Unplug the laptop. Clean keyboard.

Or rip it out and clean it.

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 week ago

Thank you, meme, for making me take 20 seconds to clean my phone screen then wonder why it wouldn't clean.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I don't clean my keyboard. I just add chia seeds and a little water. Chia keyboard ftw.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago

K-K-K-Keyboard!

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Just lock the screen. The worst that'll happen is a failed login or switching the keyboard layout or something.

[–] skisnow 8 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Windows-L is the hotkey (in Windows at least), for those who maybe didn't know.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 week ago

My god, unplug the USB or just turn off the keyboard. Simple.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Unplug it or turn it off if it's wireless. Not that hard.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago

It's what happens when you trip over the lamp's power cord, except for a keyboard.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Esterline make specialised keyboards that are specifically for sterile environments which have this feature. You press a button, the keys are ignored and you can wipe the keyboard down.

https://www.advancedinput.com/medigenic

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago

Sounds like a mouthwash company

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I just open a vt and clean. Typing gibberish on login prompt is fine and f keys don't work.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago

I usually open vim.

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago

You could also just unplug the keyboard

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (4 children)

Everyone has a reason here why this isn't necessary, but frankly it's just not a dumb idea and especially relevant for shared workplace workstations. I'd rather have a disable for cleaning button than a windows button.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago

Almost all DEs have a lock screen...

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago

Luckily, my Keyboard is so dirty that I need to pull off all keycaps anyway.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago

They should add an MP3 player style "Hold switch" on all keyboards

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