Crazy Ideas

Woman: You see her? You think she's pretty?

Guy: Hmmm?

"Do you think she's pretty?"

"I guess.....why?"

"So, you think she's prettier than me?"

"Do I think she's prettier than you......hmmmmm, let me see your butt."

"What?"

"I gotta compare butts."

"You have to compare butts.....to know if she's prettier than me?"

"Well, yeah. How would you YOU judge it?"

"Self depricatingly! Obviously!"

"That's because you can't see your own butt."

"Huh?"

"It's behind you. It's a great butt, but you never see it."

"What's so special about my butt?"

"Here, bend over a second. Let me show you something."

"Ok....."

"You feel this? This is a nice thick curve. It's got some juicyness to it, and right here---no no, don't straighten up. Stay like this. A man is explaining your own worth to you now."

"A man...."

"Yes, that's right. Don't worry, you don't need to be observant, which means to notice things. You're pretty. That means you don't need to think, or even notice how pretty you are. You'll still be treated nice."

"I.....what?"

"Shhhhhhhh, don't ruin it by talking."

And THAT is how you get women to stop being self conscious about if they're pretty enough, and START a whole new fight about if you think they're smart. Then, you just let them win a few arguements of being smart, which creates confidence within them. And that ends their internal need to prove themselves to you, because now they feel smart AND pretty.

And now you're not fighting. Or maybe you are. I'm single and don't understand life. It sounds like a solid plan though.

You know like those liquid honey dispensers? I would buy the shit out of this.

Middle of night woke up just to write this somewhere. Sorry is words are bad.

Game that's 2 player.

Player one is in a 3rd person fully emersive 3D city. This is a PC game. Player one is always host. The objective is just to make it to the other end of the city. No guns or anything. The city is being destroyed by a mysterious force. Plans are crashing building being leveled you just need to make it to safety without being crushed. It's night, theres fire and screaming, explosions all around scary stuff.

Player 2 is playing on a tablet or touch screen device. They are playing a cute game where all you need to do is tap the dot. The dot moves slowly from one end of the screen to the other hiding under colorful pipes and squares. You can also tap butterflies and things the dot might hide under to remove them. There is a lot of positive happy noises.

The dot is player one. The real catch. Player 2 is a cat.

i think it would incentivize engagement and reduce misjudgments and it could go something like this

• if you open a post then your upvote or downvote counts as 2 votes

• if you check ops profile as well then your vote counts as 3

• maybe also something about following links too idk

obviously this would be problematic to implement on the dev side and it would certainly be abused but thats why im posting it in this community i just had an idea and thought id share

It's a movie about Keenan and Kel working at Good Burger in their mid 40s. They have mental trauma so they regularly call radio psyciatrist Fraiser Krane.

Keenan and Kel never meet Fraiser, but half the movie is Keenan and Kel, and half the movie is Fraiser. They're regular callers, and screaming in agony in the world that is 2025.

I am NOT ok with music in the 90s being refered to as "oldies". Oasis is NOT oldies!!!

So it's these little GPS enabled robots the size of a marble. You stick them up your butt, and then they walk around, and map your insides, sending real time data and imaging to your doctor.

And they're programmed to do all sorts of stuff. Like if you can't poop, these things find the source of the blockage, and carry small chunks of poop and dump them in the toilet, before marching back up to complete their big brown business.

And they search for tumors inside you. They could even tattoo QR codes inside your bowels with a link back to a 20% off chipotle coupon, so when your doctor is rooting around in there, he can get lunch.

Person - Nick Jagger.

Place - Las Angeles.

Thing - Lawnmover.

And then Pat Sajak just acts like it's spelled right. "WHAT'DYA MEAN IT'S NOT NICK JAGGER??? HE'S THE SINGER FROM THE ROLLING STONED!"

Let's change the law to bring back the old Germanic tradition of judicial trial by combat. But make it specific to consumer and labor rights disputes. Got a beef with a company? Forget binding arbitration. You can now challenge the CEO to a one-on-one sword fight. The battle will be decided....by the blade! Legally speaking, we'll just assume the fight is in God's hands, and whatever the consumer rights or labor dispute in question, the side that survives is the automatic winner.

Idiocracy: Luke Wilson, Maya Rudolph, Terry Crews

Back To The Future: Christopher Lloyd, Michael J. Fox

I'm sure more actors could join this effort as well. Even though they were only actors, they got to study the theories of time travel and how events of one time affect future events.

I'm half serious here, if anyone can reach out to these former actors in the context of time travel, please toss them the idea of reaching out to the current world leaders (and even citizens), to point out how they're fucking everything up in a hurry, and more importantly how to start trying to resolve the problems...

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0074042/

i love this show, and it feels like she could throw a little columbo-like faux ignorance in for giggles. lots of death, it could stand for a tad more humor.

Ok, so I can't even decide which one of the multiple ideas I had while wrapping presents to post, so I'm just making a combined post. These are all TOO good to not share.

Cat Baths - If your hot water tank ever goes out, and you can't take a shower, you call Cat Baths. The former cast of the broadway musical Cats comes over and licks you clean.

Husky and the Husband (working title) - A christmas movie where two people switch bodies....except it's not two people. It's one person, and one dog. So now this mid 40s married father of 3 is in the body of a Husky, and the Husky is in the body of the father. Now I know you're expecting the other characters to just see the dad acting odd but not know what is going on. Then a series of unlikely situations to cover up what's happening. I'm going to go a different route on this one. Everybody INSTANTLY is able to tell that the husband has become a husky, but nobody is able to figure out that the husky and the husband have switched. They're confused why suddenly the husband is acting like a husky. Meanwhile the husband is TRYING to yell at them what's happening, but all they hear is a husky acting like a husky. And then the husband starts hearing all the OTHER huskys in the city. It turns out, it's ALL husbands who now live in the body of huskys.

Donkey Kong Weight Loss Service - If you're trying to lose weight, just call this service and a massive gorilla will kidnap your wife, and climb up some construction scaffolding. Forcing you to climb this scaffolding to save your wife while dodging the flaming barrels he throws at you. All of this is pretty body intensive, and gives you a huge workout...and you'll be extra motivated to do it, because if you don't save your wife a giant gorilla will throw your wife from 40 stories up to the ground.

Drinking buddies - You call this service if you want a bunch of guys to show up at your house at 1am drunk, and force you to drink 2 gallons in 30 minutes to catch up.

Marriage cards - It's a deck of cards, except instead of numbers and suites, it's commands, and years. You can give your spouse a card, and they'll take a hole punch and punch out the current year. Thus suggesting they've already used that card this year. With commands like "Shut up before you say something stupid" "Take off your pants, and enjoy what I'm about to do to you" "Just wear this outfit just for tonight" "Do the dishes tonight.....naked" "Go yell at the neighbors" "Get rid of the kids.....but not in a murdery way. Just for tonight" "Drink less" "You cook tonight" "Wash the dog" "Wash the god" "Drink more" "At least TRY the lasagna" and my favorite "Chain yourself naked to the bed with your legs spread, I'm inviting over everyone we know".

Compliment a hobo - This one's self explanatory.

So I have an idea about how to win over a womans heart.....full disclosure, you're gonna have to murder a guy. But he has to be into it. So this one is kind of hard to pull off.

So, women always LOVE when you protect them from monsters. It's been proven that when women feel protected, they feel a stronger urge to bond with their mate.

So I figure, why not go to a coffee shop, and have a paid actor try flirting with the woman in a very creepy way. Not TOO creepy. You don't want her running out of the coffee shop. You want to manipulate her emotions into feeling vaguely threatened, but not like she's in life threatening danger.

That's when you come in, and protect her! You put some distance between her (and you) and the creepy guy. Send him packing!

And that's when Bigfoot bursts through the wall, and starts terrorizing everyone. So you pull a knife out of your boot, jump on Bigfoot's back, and just start stabbing, and hanging on. Eventually you kill Bigfoot, and now this woman is IN LOVE WITH YOU!!!

Now the secret is, Bigfoot is actually just a guy in a Bigfoot costume. Another paid actor. But you need to make sure nobody ever knows that. Otherwise you'd go to jail for murder. Also, the woman would probably fall out of love with you.....unless she's into that sort of thing! Could be like Bonnie and Clyde!

Now we just gotta find a convincing Bigfoot costume.

Pretty sure the title says it all, but the dildo could be anywhere, even in a cop's gun holster LOL!

Someone make it happen!

What about a love story, typical bullshit you always see on the hallmark channel, and you watch it for the whole movie.

The woman was already an independant goal driven career woman. Then she goes to a small town that she grew up in, and reconnects with the boy she had a crush on.

Then she meets his kids, and hears the sad story about his wife died skiing. And they decide to spend christmas together. And then they get married. And the 3 little girls love her as their new mommy.

And then it's 10 years later, Christmas eve, the night before what they consider to be their anniversary.

Next morning, the christmas tree is brightly lit. Presents are under the tree. Snow is coming down pretty hard outside. The woman walks down the stairs, to see the man. He's not there. The 3 little girls are there, presents in their hands, while they're laying on the floor. Clearly dead. There's blood EVERYWHERE. And thats when the man pops out from around the corner, bloody knife in hand, and begins a chase scene. She can't really run. The cabin is in the middle of nowhere, and theres like 4 feet of snow outside. So now the movie JUST became a slasher horror film for the last 10 minutes. That's when you find out Bruce Willis was dead this WHOLE TIME!!! He wasn't even IN the movie! Which explains why you couldn't see or hear him!

And yes, I realize that by proposing this, I'll probably be the first one voted into the Sea. That's fine. I'm willing to take one for the team.

Just an idea to see who's making people's lives miserable. The Aces could be Jeff bezos, elon musk, Warren buffet and micheal Bloomberg.