Progressive_Islam

Hello as a biological male born into an Islamic household there has always been some kind of expectation over me to lead. Lead a family, lead prayers and all of that, and I absolutely hate it.

I absolutely hate the patriarchal standards Islam sets over men, I don't even think I'll consider getting married because I don't want to bear the burden of these responsibilities.

I keep telling her not to make these kinds of curses. Shes very nationalistic. Thinks that too many people are marrying out and she says she curses them and says she hopes things dont work out for them.

What can I say from religious texts to let her know this is not valid? And that it's also dangerous as it can come back on her and her children?

This is a half rant/half opinion post. I believe that many Muslims nowadays especially mainstream Muslims pray for the sake of heaven or just for the sake of praying which seems illogical to me (please correct me if I'm wrong) the main point of praying is that you pray to Allah not from fear of hell or greed of heaven but purely because you admire and love him and his eternal holiness.

In a similar vein I also believe the main point of following the Quran and praying is to become a good person. Almost every surah and ayat is there to guide you to become a good person yet I've seen atheists and other non muslims that are more loving and peaceful than even the most religious muslims

This wasn’t something I took lightly. I waited as long as I could and only took that step because I was getting to know someone for the sake of marriage. Unfortunately, he deceived me and took advantage of my trust. I do have accountability because I did make that choice to give myself to him.

However, realising my mistake, I’ve made sincere tawbah (repentance) to Allah, and I’m committed — wholeheartedly — to never going down that path again unless it’s within the bounds of marriage, insha'Allah.

I’m sharing this because I’d like to hear some honest and respectful perspectives from men: Would you consider marrying a woman in my position?

Note: Before anyone misunderstands, I’m not saying I plan to pretend to be a virgin. If a man has saved himself and wants the same in a partner, I completely respect that and would walk away without exposing myself— no hard feelings. That’s a fair and understandable choice.

My question is more directed toward men who also have had a past. Before I made this mistake, I personally never judged whether my future husband had a history or not — that was between him and Allah. I only cared that he was clean from any STDS.

I’m trying to move forward with sincerity, but I’d be grateful for thoughtful responses.

Thank you.

Sorry if this question was asked before, I couldn't find convincing answers.

This is the part of the verse which says that (Sahih International translation)

But those [wives] from whom you fear arrogance - [first] advise them; [then if they persist], forsake them in bed; and [finally], strike them [lightly]. But if they obey you [once more], seek no means against them. Indeed, Allāh is ever Exalted and Grand.

Quran 4:34

The justifications I've seen for it:

1. This is only applied to men with really terrible wives who are incredibly disobedient.

2. The beating is done only as a last resort, if the first 2 stages fail.

3. A companion says in a hadith that the beating/darb is done with a miswak and is only symbolic to remind the wife of her disobedience and no physical harm. Hence the translation has lightly in [brackets].

4. The word "daraba" doesn't actually mean beating but means to separate from them.

5. The Prophet SAW never hit his wives so we also shouldn't do it.

6. Not something I've seen but a conclusion of mine: maybe men in 7th Century Arabia were extremely violent with their wives so this is actually considered a huge step up for them.

If this verse is the cause of many Muslim men beating their wives due to misinterpretation, why didn't Allah SWT make it clearer for us to avoid all this harm?

Might be a weird title so let me prelude - My mom is a Muslim and my dad is a Catholic, bith don't practice, my mom believes in God while my dad is a bit iffy about it and doesn't care... And is not a fan of the Catholic church ironically enough. (They are Bosniak and Croat, though both identify as Croatian).

Religion has always been tied to ethnic affiliation in my cultural sphere. I.e a Croat is a Catholic, a Bosniak a Muslim, a Serb Orthodox.

My household is secular and my mom isn't too informed on Islam, she was just born into it, same with my grandparents. We don't celebrate any holidays per say, but we acknowledge them (both Christian and Muslim - Eid Mubarak to y'all btw!).

I've been ruminating on Islam whether or not it fits me. Most principles do, same in Christianity (the commandments and such). I've also talked to Muslim friends who either told me to choose my own path or some said I should convert. Because I am rather knowledgeable in the religion, courtesy to my dilligent research. Some of my Catholic friends told me I should choose, if not for myself, for my future children. So they can have some foundational tradition to follow.

Thing is, the very word "Islam" - which means "To submit" is something my stubborness is unable to accept.

I see God, if he exists, as an indifferent programmer who set the rules of nature and let it play out. We are merely side-effects of those rules and owe nothing to God.

If anything, the greatest worship is to study nature and the sciences. To appreciate the universe and all its beauty.

I base my code of ethics on an amalgam of things, including what I was taught and instilled with by my parents and friends. Honor, loyalty, humbleness, discipline etc... From the Slavic mythos of "Being happy on the happiness of ithers" and the sanctity of nature to the teachings of Christ and the very discipline practiced by faithful Muslims.

I have mentioned that I am too stubborn to submit, but I remain humble in front of nature. I have no control over it. But collectively we as mankind can have control over it. In short - we are children (children of God) and eventually we will come out of the cradle.

Anyway, my main concern is lack of community. And the worry if I meet someone my non-adherence will cost me a relationship. I was already rejected, despite not having interest in anything deeper at the time. But it made me think. Since I do have a lot of Muslims acquaintances and contact with Muslims, including my family, that it would cause a problem.

My parents, and grandparents, frankly didn't give a damn. Religion was a non-issue, and barely discussed. But even if I were forced to choose, I wouldn't take the shahada if it was insincere and only for marriage.

I am just exploring. I am attemoting to find a way, a tradition to live by. Not a God to worship. And I will probably forge my own path.

But you never know.

Thank you for reading! Blessed Eid/Kurban Bajram to you!

Allah bless everyone, I hope everyone has a great day!

This makes me just sad.

The father sharing a irreplaceable moment with his child while the mother has to watch from the shore.

This is what extremist interpretation of Islam are doing to families.

Many people may have different opinions when it comes to the Roman Catholic Church, but most agree that the Pope was a good man.

A man who had a more modernist and progressive approach to many things, spoke many times against the crimes Israel was committing against the Palesnians, visited many muslim leaders and wanted to bring equality among different people, communities and religions in all parts of the world.

May Allah (SWT) grant great Men and Women like him a place in Jannah.

It just doesn’t make sense why a woman’s fast can become invalid when they start menstruating, even just ten minutes before the sun sets.

If ritual impurity was the point, how come someone in a state of Janabah can still fast, even if they were to abstain from doing ghusl for a week?

Muslim women are only allowed to expose their face and hands according to the traditional understanding, and even the face is a lot according to some who order women to cover the cover the face as well. Many sheikhs become angry if a few strand of hair get exposed.

But Christian women don't have such strict, rigid dress code for them, as you can see in the right picture, dress like this where they don't cover their arms, legs, head, neck would be accepted as modest by their Churches. People on this subreddit won't find any immodesty in them either, but a lot of Mainstream Muslims surely do.

What is the reason?