this post was submitted on 07 Jun 2025
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Progressive_Islam

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This wasn’t something I took lightly. I waited as long as I could and only took that step because I was getting to know someone for the sake of marriage. Unfortunately, he deceived me and took advantage of my trust. I do have accountability because I did make that choice to give myself to him.

However, realising my mistake, I’ve made sincere tawbah (repentance) to Allah, and I’m committed — wholeheartedly — to never going down that path again unless it’s within the bounds of marriage, insha'Allah.

I’m sharing this because I’d like to hear some honest and respectful perspectives from men: Would you consider marrying a woman in my position?

Note: Before anyone misunderstands, I’m not saying I plan to pretend to be a virgin. If a man has saved himself and wants the same in a partner, I completely respect that and would walk away without exposing myself— no hard feelings. That’s a fair and understandable choice.

My question is more directed toward men who also have had a past. Before I made this mistake, I personally never judged whether my future husband had a history or not — that was between him and Allah. I only cared that he was clean from any STDS.

I’m trying to move forward with sincerity, but I’d be grateful for thoughtful responses.

Thank you.

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